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I remember grandfather telling me about his newest creation. I knew he’d been hoping to make some big discovery, something even bigger than the little lizard I called my pet. The little guy was growing up too fast, grandfather said. His heart wasn’t beating fast enough for how big he was. He was like me, in that way. Grandpa and I built him a sort of second heart to help him grow big and strong and he seemed happier. He was now about the size of my puppy back home, he’d jump up in my lap and beg for his salads when he was hungry.
But he was different from my little lizard. He was my little brother.
He was so tiny when grandfather first brought me into the previously forbidden area of his lab. He was such a tiny thing, even smaller than the baby lizard. I remember asking grandfather why he had to stay in the tank, if he could breathe in there. Grandfather assured me he was safe and happy, he just needed a little help growing big and strong.
I’d come and read to him every day, like mama used to do for me. I didn’t know if he could hear me, he couldn’t even open his eyes yet, but I still sat next to his tank every day. Grandfather said that was a lovely thing to do.
He was about 3 months old when he first opened his eyes. His dark red eyes took in his world for the first time. I quickly called grandfather over, excited about his newest accomplishment. Grandfather smiled. I put my hand up to the glass, reaching out to him, letting him know I was there, I was excited to meet him.
“My name is Maria, I’m going to be your big sister”
His little paw met mine on the other side slowly, as if he was unsure how to move his body. From that moment on I swore I’d always be there for him.
His name was Shadow. Grandfather thought the name was too dark for such a sweet little thing, but I saw it differently. In order to see the light, you must follow your shadow.
And that’s what he was, our little beacon of light.
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Shadow and Maria were practically inseparable from the moment he was born. Maria insisted he slept in her bed, saying he was afraid of the dark. They brushed their teeth together, ate breakfast together, read together, explored the ark together and got into the expected sibling mischief on occasion.
Gerald couldn’t be happier.
Maria’s condition seemed to be improving. She could run after Shadow in the long hallways of the ark and not have a coughing fit. Shadow would look after her when she was ill and always helped her remember her medicines in the morning. They were perfect for eachother.
Shadow was a quiet little hedgehog, shy around the other children on the ark and rarely talking to anyone besides Gerald or his big sister. Maria had stood up for him on more than one occasion. Regardless of how reckless it was, she made sure no one picked on her little brother.
To Gerald’s relief, Shadow’s father never returned to the ark. While he regretted siding with that demon, Gerald would never regret making Shadow. The little boy was so much more than his perfect experiment, the ultimate lifeform. He was his grandson. He made Maria smile.
That alone was more important than saving the world to Gerald.
Shadow never met his DNA donor, yet he still spoke of “monsters” he saw in the darkness, monsters Maria promised to always protect him from. She even made him a nightlight to sleep with, promising him the dark would never hurt him. Those two truly needed each other.
As Gerald’s research continued, he began revealing small bits of information to Shadow about his birth. Shadow knew his blood could help Maria get better, and despite being scared of the needles at first, he put up with all the testing in the hopes that his big sister would wake up better the next day. The two would always hold hands whenever the other had to get vaccines or blood work done, squeezing together on the exam room table.
Yet it felt like Maria’s condition never got much better.
Maria would tell Shadow stories of Earth, of what awaited them once she got better. She would talk about school, and her friends and family, and of all the beautiful plants and animals back on Earth Shadow had only ever seen pictures of. Shadow confessed he wasn’t sure if he’d fit in on Earth, as it wasn’t his home. Maria assured him his home was wherever she was, and that as long as they were together no one could tell him otherwise.
Shadow loved the beauty of space, he would always ask Gerald or Maria about a planet he saw or an asteroid, but his favorite of all was the Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights.
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I had never had a little brother, but I couldn't imagine they were much different than Shadow was. He was slow to talk, it took him a few years before he felt comfortable speaking, mostly preferring to point or use what little sign language grandfather and I knew. He clung to me like a puppy, never leaving my side for longer than he had to. He was very small at that age, barely past my knees, but he had such a strong spirit for someone so small. Grandfather and I joked about his little scowl he was learning to use, how it didn’t fit his tiny body.
Now I only see him smile.
He’s grown into a slightly taller little hedgehog, closer to my chest. His shoes help him get around much faster now, especially after Grandfather helped me design them. Grandfather says he has some sort of the same sickness my little lizard did, something about how his “energy was too high for his little body”. I just think Shadow is a happy little boy.
Sometimes he really does remind me of a little puppy, the way he curls up with me for a nap or the way he carries my things around with him when I’m somewhere else. Just last week he was carrying around one of my old blankets, running and latching onto my leg when he finally found me. He has worries about not finding me in such a big place as the ARK.
I’ve assured him I will never truly leave him.
I remember when his little canines started coming in, his little vampire teeth I called them. He was so worried about hurting someone with them he wouldn’t open his mouth for days, not even to eat. I sat him down, gently brushing his quills with one of my soft brushes, telling him his differences were what made him special. How, even if we don’t look similar, he was still my baby brother and I would always be there for him. As long as he was kind, the people would love and accept him, just as me and Grandfather do.
I can tell he doesn’t believe me by the way his ears droop sadly when he sees the other little kids playing on the ARK. No matter how many times I’ve told him to get lost, Abe always seems to find some other way to outcast Shadow further. The nerve of that boy…
Grandfather says I shouldn’t let him get to me, let alone waste my energy on him, but I can’t stand by and watch my little brother hate himself due to that boy’s ignorance.
No matter what, I will always be there for Shadow.