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zoro'd been exercising all day. logically, because they'd been sailing all day - what else was there to do with his free time, putting aside the consumption of some good booze?
and so, the mighty lifter of weights settled in for a nap, as usual on the bench in the crow's nest, not too far away from the weights so he could get right back to it after his break.
sanji.
sanji?
why sanji?
sanji again?
oh.
sanji was slipping away from him.
he was slipping, then falling, and there was nothing zoro could do to help him.
nothing to cut away with his katanas, no way for him to do anything, to be useful.
why did he feel so helpless? it was just sanji.
just sanji, no need to worry, he'd be fine.
zoro didn't care that much, and anyway, sanji was strong-
zoro screamed.
panic surged through him.
loss made itself at home in the pit of his stomach, turning the organ first upside down and then inside out.
his blood rushed, heart pounded in his ears, there was suddenly so much water in his eyes, he felt nauseous, stepped closer to the edge. closer, eyes cast downward.
and down, the blackness went down, and it was dark, dark, dark.
no end to it, no light, no salvation.
no sanji. all swallowed up.
zoro was screaming again.
no, wrong, he'd never stopped.
sanji was gone.
still screaming, screaming sanji's name, throat sore, voice breaking.
zoros eyes ripped open, the panic still fresh on his face. his eyes darted around the room, scanning everything, recognizing oh - he's home.
confused, he touched his cheek, feeling the wetness- when had he last cried?
he was sweaty all over, still felt a little nauseous, and his feelings - all over the place.
but despite his sorry state, he was barely given any time to come back to his senses by the universe.
no mercy, either, because it was sanji who opened the door just then as zoro was still wiping his tears.
he'd walked in smiling, carrying a plate of food, but his face immediately dropped when he saw zoro.
confusion spread on his features, then concern.
"oi marimo, are you okay? what is this?" and when he didn't get a reply: "zoro?"
zoro looked up from his now infinitely interesting shoes, startled at the use of his name.
their eyes met, and sanji almost dropped the plate he was holding.
he'd never seen zoro like this in a domestic setting: teary eyed, hurt - vulnerable.
his face was red and swollen, his features panicked.
sanji walked over to him, sitting next to zoro and setting the plate down on the bench to his right.
zoro's tense face visibly dropped when sanji carefully placed his hand on the other's thigh, it looked to sanji like some sort of elation.
"hey, do you wanna talk? should i leave you alone? you're obviously not okay right now."
zoro's mouth opened, closed, opened. like a fish.
then he croaked something inaudible, cleared his throat, and gave it another try.
"sorry. 'm always too weak. i'm sorry. my fault, have to get back. to training."
zoro wanted to stand up, but sanji held him in place and forced him back on the bench.
"nuh-uh. you are not going to train the pain away today. not on my watch. i don't even know what happened, for fuck's sake, but you do not look good. you look like you need some soup, a hot drink and your bed."
zoro made a pained expression.
"no, i need to get stronger, like always. you know that. just let me, okay? don't make this harder, curls."
sanji sighed. the concern hadn't left his face.
"mossy, please. either you talk to me now or we get you into bed. oh come on, at least eat something."
zoro had but one option.
he dug in, the pasta dish sanji had created was still warm and delicious as always.
he didn't want to admit it, but it felt good, so good. he was instantly calm, felt at home, safe. and it assured him of one thing: sanji was there, alive and well, and most importantly, cooking.
everything was normal.
the more zoro ate, the faster he got - it was like the life was returning to him. sanji watched in awe.
finally zoro was scarfing down the last few bites, and feeling better at last, his body and soul warmed by the meal, he set the plate down and turned sideways, throwing his arms around sanji.
sanji froze, completely overwhelmed at the sudden, uncharacteristic action, but then looped his arms around zoro's back.
"hey," he mumbled into zoro's shoulder.
"hey," zoro mumbled back into his mouthful of sanji's dress shirt.
zoro was hugging him so tenderly, sanji was at a complete loss for words. the swordsman clung to him like he was his life support, unrelenting in his grip but tender at the same time.
sanji rubbed soothing circles into zoro's back.
"you feeling better?" he asked after a while.
they went back to sitting next to each other.
"yeah. thanks for the food. and the hug, too."
sanji chuckled, zoro was still leaning against him.
he stopped himself from thinking about it further and just reached for zoro's hand.
"ya gonna talk?"
zoro grunted and then proceeded to ponder on what to say for a while. he wished he was better with words, but finally, he gave in.
"i had a bad dream. it was like, realistic, i, i thought you'd. i thought i watched you die."
he paused, swallowed. stared at their joined hands. then: "i couldn't do anything. i just stood there, and you fell, and i just. wasn't enough."
sanji had expected a nightmare, but not like this. not about himself.
"okay, that's shit. wow, i'm no good at this, sorry." he paused and rubbed zoro's hand for a while.
"i'm really continuously amazed by your own inability to recognize that you are fucking strong. like so strong, oh my god. literally look at your arms. mine are sticks compared to those guns you got there. i'm not arguing on this, either - everyone on this ship trusts you with their life, idiot. including me."
zoro gave him a sad smile.
"i do know. i'm just having a hard time believing all of that."
sanji's jaw dramatically dropped at that.
"since when do you know how to properly communicate? who taught you that? is this really the dumb marimo i know?"
zoro laughed. it was tiny, more of a chuckle, even, but sanji counted it as a victory.
"i'm gonna have to reaffirm you then, from now on. oh and, uh, i never would have thought you'd dream about me. not in any specific context whatsoever, i just. didn't think you'd... care."
sanji cleared his throat, it suddenly felt like all of his spit had spontaneously decided on a free-for-all meet and greet at location vocal chords.
"well that makes two of us. but, are you really surprised to know i care about you?" zoro averted his eyes.
now sanji felt guilty for implying zoro to be uncaring, but his feelings simply hadn't allowed him to think, well, straight.
"no, sorry, i. no. forget about what i just said please, of course you care, it could've been any of our crew-"
"this wasn't a first," zoro cut him off. "it's you, sanji."
"oh," mouthed sanji.
but zoro looked like he was already regretting having said that, so sanji felt he had to push, to save the moment somehow.
"please do elaborate, i like the thought of that. well, as long as it's not only dying that i do in your dreams."
zoro's features softened, and instantly, relief washed over sanji's entire body.
"you do much more than that. you smile a lot, for example. i love when you smile. you're less worried about everything, more carefree. and you cook me lots of stuff, though i guess that's a given. i can definitely also say that we fight a lot less in my dreams as well." zoro's tone picked up while he spoke, sounding happier and happier as he recalled their precious adventures in dreamland.
sanji couldn't help but smile.
"then what do we do if not fight? come on marimo, you can't have thought i wouldn't ask that!"
"yeah yeah, sorry. well, we cuddle." he blushed, looked away.
what interesting wooden planks the floor was made of!
"and?"
"hold hands."
"is there more?"
"..."
zoro's silence confirmed what sanji had been wanting, hoping, d r e a m i n g.
his entire body vibrated with joyful anticipation for the words about to leave zoro's mouth.
"... kiss. we kiss, alright? they're just dreams, i-"
sanji had grabbed zoro's head by the jaw, turned it to face him and put his own finger on zoro's lips to silence him.
"shh. it's fine. i've been dreaming, too."
when their lips met, it was the softest of touches. angels sang, there was no more sorrow in all the world, bells rang for them, fairies whispered poems of love-
zoro smiled into the kiss.
sanji had never seen him so happy before, and he smiled back at him as they parted.
eyes, full of adoration, met.
"thank you, sanji."
and sanji had melted, and all his lips could possibly utter was: "i love you."