Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"This just in, the band that calls themselves the 'Crimson Crusade' has struck again, this time in XX Avenue. A building owned by multi-millionaire Mr. XX burst into flames around 8:30 pm last night. Resources say--"

click

"Voting polls for the 'Great and Mighty Papyrus' have sky-rocketed once again! People say that he will indeed get his 8th term as governor, an unprecedented feat since--"

click

"Come by our stores anytime! Canary Commodities— where all your goods are just a flight away! Doot doo doot..."

Sighing, you leave the T.V. alone and checked the time on your phone. It was almost 10pm but you still had work to do.

"Rumors about an underground information dealer have caught the city officials' attention once more."

You allowed a small grin to grow on your face as you put on a pair of heavy, steel-toed boots.

"Rumors have it that the information dealer is, in fact, the true mastermind of the recent atrocities inflicting our wonderful city."

You gave a small huff and shook your head. "Pfft, yellow journalism at its finest right there. Trying to paint the entire story without all the facts..." You were about to turn off the T.V. before a clean-shaven man entered the screen. 

James D. Hobbes. 

Donning a navy blue police uniform covered in medals, this head of police was a disgusting slob who was constantly interfering with your antics. Quite ironic that he was always bad mouthing about the information dealer’s money-spending ways while he was getting into a limousine.

"I cannot say if they are indeed the ringleader of the nefarious acts, but I will say that I will use everything in my power to catch this criminal."

The man was trying so hard to look like justice incarnate, it was almost cute. Almost.

You finished the rest of your coffee and threw on a large, black trench coat. Turning back to the T.V., the egotistical maniac was finishing his little spiel.

"...Yes indeed Debra. As a final parting gift, I would like to say one last thing." The camera zoomed into his ugly mug and he pointed to the viewers.

"I will catch you, Shadow Broker."

You shut off the T.V., throwing the remote on the couch and placed a black motorcycle helmet on.

"Try and catch me," you chuckled, your voice distorting through a filter.

You made sure everything was off and stepped out of your door into a completely dark room. Through muscle memory alone, you let your body navigate the darkness to a desk and chair in the middle of the room. Taking a deep breath and sitting down, you held a button embedded in the corner of the desk.

"Let them in."

Soon enough, a door in the far end of the room burst open. At first, a pair of glowing red eyes strode forward, followed by a smaller set of scarlet pupils. Afterwards, a single blue flame seemed to slide into the room before a pair of orange gems strutted in loudly. Finally, another match of blue flames about the same height as the previous gleamed brightly, albeit a lighter shade of blue than the other. And just like the cerulean counterparts, a darker set of orange pupils barely glowed through the darkness.

You waited for the array of colors to arc in front of you— reds to the left, regular shades to the middle, and the alternatives to the right. You snap your fingers, turning on the blinding light to reveal a room covered in computer screens, each displaying countless amounts of information.

However, you didn't care about those right now. You were concentrated in the groups of skeletons in front of you, whose eyes were now void of the light surrounding them, with the exception of pupils gleaming like a single star in the sky.

“Good evening gentlemen.”

You took a moment to take in the sight in front of you.

To your left was a rather dashing tall skeleton with deep cracks on his left eye-hole. Suited with a black tuxedo, he released a menacing aura with each and every step he took. "Boss" was the leader of the notorious Crimson Crusade, constantly keeping in contact with you for obvious reasons. Though he didn't specialize in the explosive destructions depicted on T.V., Boss delved into torture, extortion, and pretty much everything dark that didn't require baseball bats embedded with rusted nails. Well, at least in public.

His younger brother, the little anxious meatball next to him, was the "Mad Dog" of the Crusade. Never walking around without his infamous spiked jacket, this guy was one of your... less sane clients. Leave it to "Red" to mercilessly devour anything in his path. In fact, you were 99% sure that most detonations in the city were caused by this man alone.

You roll your eyes thinking about the property damage and loss of papers this guy has done. You certainly didn't forget the headache that came from them.

To your right was a hyper-active little blueberry muffin, smiling with a light blue vest and a pair of white slacks. "Blue" was quite the entrepreneur despite his child-like identity. Co-creator and CEO of Canary Commodities, Blue bought and maintained several chains of supermarkets throughout the entire country— all to cover up his black market dealings. Being the main supplier of goods in the market, he usually worked with you to secure less-than-legal merchandise or to remove a rival. Whenever he needed a specific item, his brother always had it covered.

Standing with a lit cigar and clearly too lazy to tuck in his dress shirt, "Orange" was the co-creator of the corporation. Truly the most laid back person you have ever met, this was the go-to man if you ever needed anything. You swore his ability to gather materials were on par with your ability to gather information. A really handy guy to ally with during these dark times.

You gotta say, you really liked both pairs of skeletons, but the ones in front of you were the most fun to work with.

Sporting a white tuxedo like it was made for him, Papyrus (or "Paps" as he would have you call him) was the sweetest man you've ever had the honor of working with. Still confused on how such a cinnamon roll ended up with dark dealings, he was actually quite proficient in hiding people and wiping their existence off the face of the planet. 

Unlike other "corrupted politicians", Paps was actually trying his hardest to repair the city— using your information to wipe out less-lawful competition.Of course, as charming as he was, anyone going for office and trying to renovate the city was bound to rally enemies.

And that's where the elder brother comes in.

With his trademark suit with rolled up sleeves and black vest, Sans was one of your favorite customers. Owning a rather established comedy club, he had always somehow made you smile, a rare occurrence of late. Never removing the grin on his face, he either made you respect him or be extremely weary. Always trading information with you, he usually hid in the shadow of his esteemed younger brother and only appears, as he would put it, "to kindly take out the trash".

You sit back a bit to take in the groups in front of you. The faction leaders were certainly similar and you thought they were related. In fact, you accidentally called Red "Sans" once during a meeting, and it ended up with fallen tables, broken chairs, and a burnt hole in the wall. You never really brought it up again.

You were startled out of your thoughts by someone clearing their non-existent throat.

"Apologies gentlemen," you waved your hands to the seats being brought in next to them. "Please, take a seat."

"Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to come to the annual meeting. I would like a brief summary of your latest dealings. Who would like to go first?"

"Before that, can I address a small issue, Brokey?" squeaked someone to the right of you. Without waiting for your response, Blue jabbed a finger at the Crimson brothers. "Last night, you attacked a building owned by Mr. XX even though we told you that we were going to empty out the lot first! We lost men because of you!"

"Ahh yes," hummed Boss while tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Well you see, we believed the little messenger you sent us was actually a spy so they are currently rotting in my dungeon as we speak. Besides, those weapons stored in the building were far more useful with us than any imbeciles you sold them to."

Blue sat up in his char and curled a fist. "There weren't just weapons in there, priceless antiques were there too! I have, well had , customers lined up for them you...you jerk!"

"Hey, watch your mouth you damned blueberry," spat Red as he reclined further in his chair. "Wasn't our fucking fault your guys were so damn slow in moving shit. No wonder they died, seeing how their baby bitch boss was someone like you."

Slightly cringing from the insult, Blue sat back in the chair. This time however, Orange snuffed out his cigarette and eyed Red. "Dude, chill. All we want is some reimbursement for the things we lost."

"And what, pray tell, will happen if we give you nothing?" huffed Boss while staring straight into his orange counterpart's eyes.

"You get a complimentary set of flowers..." smiled Blue, before both of his eyes emitting teal-colored flames. "...With your choice of ass kicking ."

Both crimson brothers rose up at the threat and activated their own scarlet magic, while the other pair stood, both in battle stances, ready for the opposing faction.

Paps, being the kind man he was, also got up from his chair but instead of calling out shots, he stood between the fighters. "COME NOW FRIENDS. IT'S NOT GOOD TO FIGHT ONE ANOTHER ESPECIALLY IF WE ONLY SEE EACH OTHER ONCE A YEAR! IN FACT, LET THE GREAT PAPYRUS TELL YOU ABOUT THE SPAGHETTI HE—"

"SHUT UP PAPYRUS! "they all yelled in unison. An eerie silence rolled through the room as a sapphire blaze seemingly became brighter on a slouching skeleton's skull.

"h e y ."

"Enough!" you boomed, causing everyone to flinch. "Everyone sit down before I am forced to take extreme measures to make sure this meeting ends on a peaceful note."

Low grumbles echoed through the walls before every person(skeleton?) sat down.

"The total damage comes up to 9 million, Brokey. We can't afford to take a hit that big in this economy," sighed Blue. He was normally so happy, so it nipped at your conscience to see him so dejected.

You turned to your left. "Will you be able to pay that much?"

Boss shook his head. "Not in a short time, no. We had to cut back on spending when one of our main bases got compromised."

You nodded, hearing of this before. A certain Hobbes managed to capture one of their men, retrieve info about the safe house, and successfully wipe it out.

After a moment of thinking, you turn to your right. "How about this: You receive half of the 9 million, and get free info from me about a location worth double of what you lost," you then turned to your left. "While you two owe me a favor I can cash in at any time I want."

The two groups thought about what you said while you waved Papyrus over to apologize for their actions. He merely gave his million dollar smile,"NO WORRIES, BROKER FRIEND! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS HAPPY TO HELP STOP THE DISPUTE BETWEEN OUR BRETHREN!"

You looked past him to his brother (who looked like he was getting eaten by the chair because he sat so far into it) who mouthed a quiet thanks, bringing a small smile to your covered face.

"Okay Brokey," said Blue, slowly returning to his upbeat attitude. "Throw in a favor we can call in from you , and you've got yourself a deal."

Thinking about it for a second, you were pretty sure what you offered them was more than enough. Hell, your gut was telling you to not take up the proposition. However, you were tired, cranky, and frankly not in the mood to continue the fighting. Plus, you were pretty sure the coffee from earlier wore off already.

You nodded. "I presume neither Boss or Red have any arguments?"

Both of them stayed quiet which was more than enough for you. "Alright. Now that that problem's out of the way, let us return to the reports of the city.

"This meeting is adjourned. May you all have a safe trip back to your homes." You stack the papers on your desk while you heard footsteps exiting the room. Even though you were several stories underground, you were pretty sure the sun was peering through the windows of the building you were in. You decided not to fight against your drooping eyelids and laid your head on the desk.

"—oker..."

You grumble a bit, annoyed about the voice penetrating the sweet darkness of your mind.

"—broker...ake up..."

You claw your desk for, what felt like, a stapler and threw it at the offender.

"Ow! Tch... Dammit Shadow Broker, GET TH' FUCK UP!"

Your head sprung up just in time to smash into whomever disturbed your slumber. Thankfully, you were wearing a helmet, or else you would be mimicking the squirming figure on the floor— whom you realized was actually Red. What was he still doing here?

Chapter Text

Stars above, Red hated these meetings.

He hated the topics that were brought up.

He hated the way the other factions veered away from physical encounters. Come on, wasn't it faster to beat the living shit out of someone rather than listen to them yap?

And he hated everyone there.

...Well, almost everyone.

You were alright.

Despite the fact that he had no idea who you were, you were surprisingly okay in his book. You knew when to speak up, you knew when to slam down your fist, and you weren't out to kill him the moment you saw him.

At least when he didn't try and steal your chocolate goodies.

How could you blame him? You were the friggen Shadow Broker. You had the best chocolates on you, and things taste better when they're free.

Aw man, he could taste them right now. Rich and creamy... Smooth and firm...

He had no idea if you were human or monster, but he didn't care. He wondered what you tasted like. How much you would squirm under him. What your reaction would be if he--

He broke himself out of his stupor. He should stop thinking like this. Hell, he was pretty sure- from the look Boss was giving him- it was quite obvious what he was thinking of. Red berated himself, he wasn't worth the trouble to deal with, let alone befriend. He couldn't understand how you managed to keep your temper around him. He himself hated him. 

He eyed you in his peripheral vision, watching you nod to something that wimp Papyrus was saying. Despite looking like the bulkiest golem he's ever seen, he can't help but imagine you as a smaller, cuter individual. 

...Cuter... And under him.

Red. Stop yourself.

He sighed and held his head in his hands. He needed to get someone fast before he destroyed something... again. Boss wasn't too happy last time.

"I presume neither Boss or Red have any arguments?"

Shit.

He wasn't listening. What happened?

He looked over to his brother who, astonishingly, looked extremely content. What the hell? He needed to make sure to ask him what happened just now.

 "This meeting is adjourned. May you all have a safe trip back to your homes." 

Red followed his speed-walking brother outside the room and to an elevator that led back to the surface. Just like always, Boss almost left him, smashing the button to the ground floor.

A few minutes passed before Red spoke up. "S-so, uh Boss. About that thing earlier."

He saw his brother slowly raise an eye-bone. "Which thing , you useless fool. Be more specific."

Fidgeting, Red tried to think up something to make it sound like he paid attention during the meeting. "Y-you know... The aftermath of the thing with the stupid Canaries?"

Boss nodded and a rare smile creepily crept on his face. "Ah yes, the deal. With the Broker's intervention, we no longer have to pay the full cost. Now all we owe is a measly half and... a favor ," he said, the smile increasing to a grin with the last word.

A favor.

Red was pretty sure his brother was saying something else but all he could see were the countless images plaguing his mind.

Oh shit.

At this rate, he was gonna die before the elevator reached the surface. He needed to see you. He needed to see you right now.

"I uh... I think I forgot something back there," he sputtered before teleporting to the room once more.

He looked up, expecting to see you gone; not with your head on the table— causing his non-existent blood to run cold. Thoughts began racing through his head.

You can't be dead. He just saw you a few minutes ago. You can't just go away, you're important to--

He caught himself when he saw your back rise and fall.

You were just sleeping.

Oh.

He laughed to himself before his thoughts caught up with him. Of course you can't die. You're the Shadow Broker. You were important to.. to the city.

Walking up to you, he shook his head at how vulnerable you looked. His earlier flame of lust was getting doused by something he didn't know, but he was unusually okay with it.

"Hey Broker." He chuckled when you merely grumbled.

"Come on Broker, wake up." 

He was so focused on your breathing, he didn't notice a flying stapler until it smacked him in the face.

"OW!" He yelped, smashing the stapler on the ground. "Tch... Dammit Shadow Broker, GET TH' FUCK UP!"

Red was usually fine with pain. He's had torture training from his brother for star's sakes. Hell, somewhere along his sick life, he even began to like the pain.

The sickening crunch that resonated through his skull, however, he did not like.

He fell on the ground clenching his head, screaming every curse word in his urban dictionary. He didn't even notice you kneel down to his level.

You acted so sorry and so flustered, that he would've laughed if it didn't feel like a bomb blew up in his head.

"God, are you alright?" you asked, your voice sounding more robotic than that one robot on TV.

"Stars above, Broker," grunted Red. "Coulda gave me a heads up first."

He froze.

Whenever something remotely related to humor came out of his mouth, his brother would punish him, saying jesting is for the weak. 

Didn't matter if the pun was was intentional or not.

He'd done it. You were sure to chew him out on his fuck up. He clenched his eyes, steeling himself for the loss of his friend... his only friend.

"...Hrk!"

He looked up, your body shaking, head turned away from him. He couldn't believe it. "Are... you laughing?"

You stiffened and cleared your throat. Red completely forgot the pain in his head and sat up. He wanted to hear that sound again."Hey now, no need ta freeze up. I'm alright, snow joke."

That one was bad and he internally cringed, but he didn't care. You were shaking again. He was willing to beg for a certain funny-guy's joke book if he could hear you laugh.

"I'm glad ya decided to implement elevators down here. Don't trust them stairs because they're always up ta something."

"O-Oh my god, Red."

Almost there. He crawled up to you, mere inches away. He eyed a small piece of the shattered stapler and lifted it up. "Wondered why the stapler was getting bigger," he turned to grin to you. "Then it hit me."

You fell from your crouching position and gave a hearty laugh. A surge of warmth filled his bones. He wanted to rip off that helmet of yours and touch you, kiss you, anything . He stood up in a rush, accidentally buckling his knees, and landed right on top of you. "S-shit," he stuttered. "Sorry--"

Naturally, his phone just had to ring at that moment. He quickly got off you, and stared at his phone as if it just insulted his very existence. He accepted the call and placed the phone to the side of his cranium.

"YOU LOUSY. INSIGNIFICANT. BUFFOON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!? HOW DARE YOU LEAVE WHILE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TALKING!"

Of course it was Boss.

It was always Boss.

When was it never Boss?

"Yeah yeah, 'kay Boss. Comin' up now." Red sighed inwardly and turned off the phone. He turned back to you and stretched out an arm. "Well, I guess that's my cue ta book it."

You gave your thanks as you used his hand as leverage to stand up. "Oh, hold on," you said, walking back to your desk. Meanwhile, he stared his bony hand, clenching and unclenching rapidly. Despite wearing such heavy clothing you were surprisingly light, but what interested him the most was how squishy your hand was. You certainly weren't a skeleton monster, but he wanted to hold it again. Suddenly, he had an epiphany.

He... He liked you....about as much as mustard. Huh.

You returned with, what looked like, an unopened chocolate bar. "Here. As a thank you for the laugh and the fact that you didn't ruin my desk for once."

He watched you return to your desk and then walked out of the room. While going up in an elevator, he spaced out while the bar of chocolate melted in his hand. 

He realized two things:

1. He couldn't believe it, but he liked you more than mustard.
2. He was going to steal that blue fucker's joke book even if it killed him in the process.

Content with your organization, you got up from your desk and stretched. The moment with Red was a pleasant distraction from the stress of today, but you were still tired so you went into your little "apartment". Slowly taking off your heavy clothing, you thought about the safety of your identity. It's been at least three years since you had to hop bases every week, and you rather liked where you were.

Sure the building you were in was abandoned , but you made sure it was structurally stable. So what if it takes a couple of minutes to get to the surface? You usually took that time to catch up on the endless files of information flowing in. Still, as much as you loved being an evil monarch in your gloomy castle, you were still human.

That meant you had to eat.

You pet your caffeine-filled stomach and walked to your kitchen before seeing a tree-like figure dig through your fridge. The figure, hearing your footsteps, spun around with a wide smile and a plate at hand.

“Welcome back, Ma'am!”

Dear, sweet Elona. When you first found her, she was (quite literally) rotting in a dark, dusty corner of a nearby park. Taking pity on the girl, you took her under your wing. Now, she happily followed you everywhere, blossoming cute little Jasmine flowers on her mahogany-colored head.

“Here you go, Ma'am! I made this just now!” she giggled.

You looked down at the plate to see some kind of silver lump with a droopy happy face in which you thought was drawn with ketchup. Looking back up, you saw her eyes gleaming with expectation. Steeling yourself, you grab a nearby fork and took a small bite of the goop.

Oh dear God.

“How was it?”

Ignoring the metallic residue in your mouth, you pulled all your strength to give the biggest smile you've ever had.

“You've gotten better. This was absolutely amazing, ” your smile becoming slightly genuine when you saw her hop in glee. You took the plate from her and set it aside on a table, getting a curious look from her. “I have some duties to attend to above ground. Let's go eat somewhere beforehand.”

Elona looked at the plate you pushed aside, downheartedly. “Cover that and place it in the fridge,” you reassured her. “I would like to snack on that when we get back.”

Leaving her happily humming, you went to change your attire into something semi-formal.

You never really liked the reports your firms gave you. Business owners have a habit of fudging numbers, so the best way to check is to drop in uninvited. You grab a folder filled with files, and called the driver to your car to tell him that he didn't need to drive you around today. “Are you ready, Elona?”

She came into the room and smiled. “I made sure everything was locked up tight and turned on all the defenses.” You were really happy when you found out that even though she was mediocre in cooking and made your white clothing pink during laundry day, she was positively prodigious when it came to technology.

You nodded a “good job” and both of you stepped into an elevator within your room.

After a peaceful breakfast, you let Elona drive you to your first destination. You decided that it was best to read up on your “victim's” file. Spring Aromatics Incorporated. Current President: Joseph Holler. You noticed a little note at the bottom.

“Seems like our friend has two strikes on his profile.”

You were generally a lenient proprietor, but what you didn't tolerate were neglectful liars. Mr. Holler decided to splurge a little on his company funds while he overworked his people, blaming the drop in money on the economy... twice. You much preferred his vice president whose name escaped you at that moment. If Holler didn't screw up, you were ready to forge some incriminating evidence to remove his sorry ass off his high chair.

“Ma'am, we're here.”

You looked outside your window to see a sky-high building towering over you. Being one of the major importers of spices and other international seasonings, you were pleased to know that you got a cut of the profit. Still, you swore the building grew a couple of stories higher since your last visit.

Elona followed you through a double-doored entrance, and to the front office where a pretty little receptionist was reading a fashion magazine. Noticing your entrance, she checked her make-up on the computer in  front of her then gave you a smile. “Welcome to Spring Aromatics. How may I assist you?”

“Hello,” you glanced at her name tag. “Sophia. I'm here with my associate for a meeting with Mr. Holler?”

You noticed a flash of a sneer when she looked at Elona, and a condescending look in her eyes when she stared at your clothes.

“Do you have an appointment scheduled?” You shook your head. “Then I'm afraid you will need to schedule an appointment online and come back— ”

“Tell him 'Leliana' has come to visit.”

She gave you an odd look before regaining her customer-friendly smile. “I'm sorry, however, Mr. Holler is currently busy right now. Please come later—”

You stopped her with a chilling smile. “Sophia, please don't make me repeat myself. Call Joseph Holler and tell him a Leliana has come to visit.”

Thankfully, she did so before you had to start threatening her. As an added bonus, you reveled in how her face went from being extremely annoyed to fearful while on the phone.

“He will be with you momentarily,” she said, avoiding your gaze. “Can I help get you anything? Water for you and your colleague maybe?”

You turned to Elona who shook her head.

“No thank you Sophia,” you nodded. “Have a pleasant day.”

You and your companion sat down on a big love-seat by a wall, both with a deep appreciation at how soft the chair was. Despite being a complete a-hole, Holler certainly knew how to pick sofas. You felt your eyes slowly droop from their opened state.

“Goodness me! You were really cool miss!”

Your eyes snapped open when you heard that familiar voice. You felt a bounce on the love-seat. You turned to your right, where Elona sat, and saw her eyes pointing directly to your left.

A very   familiar hyper skeleton was looking at you with stars in his eyes, while a taller, laid-back skeleton eyed you with suspicion.

“Miss, are you alright?”

You blink out of your daze to see the smaller skeleton placing a bony hand on your forehead. Meanwhile, Elona was frozen stiff and the taller skeleton had stuck out an arm as if to stop him. From an outsider's perspective, it would have been comical.

For you, it was frightening.

Why was he here? Did he have business at this establishment? Maybe because the company was famous for their spices? Oh no. Did he find out about you? You backtracked your steps since the meeting. You couldn't have let a trail behind for someone to follow. You were also 100% certain you weren't bugged, Elona made sure of that.

“Miiiisss! You're spacing out again!”

You flinched and gave a small smile, remembering that he gave a speech on TV last week. “Sorry about that. I just thought you looked familiar. Weren't you on TV a couple of days ago?”

The tiny skeleton regained the stars in his eyes with full force. “Yes, I was! I'm happy to know the Magnificent Blue has caught your attention! Have you heard of the Canary corporations?”

You nod. “Actually, most of my groceries come from Canary Commodities.”

His smile (somehow) seemed to grow even brighter. “I'm so happy to have met one of my valuable customers!” Realizing that you had an eyebrow raised, he patted his vest until he pulled out a card and gave it to you.

Blue Esqueleto

CEO of Canary Corporations

(xxx) 867-5309

[email protected]

www.cancorps.com

You never really thought about his last name. How very original.

You raised your hand to your mouth to mimic shock. “Oh my,” you smiled. “Well, Mr. Esqueleto , I am very pleased to say that I love your stores and that I am honored to have met you.”

You looked up to his face to see the stars gone and thus, immediately felt bad. You weren't really lying. You were very happy to have met someone as sweet as Blue.

Before you could apologize, he gave you a bone-crushing hug. “Oh human! Just call me Blue! Thank you so much! You don't know how much that means to me!”

You laughed, pulling away from him.

“Ms. Leliana, Mr. Holler is ready to see you now.”

You nod goodbye to the brothers and followed Sophia down a hall.

Blue's eyes followed you until you took a right at a corner.

“I don't like her.”

He turned to his uncharacteristically aggressive brother who was glaring a hole in the wall that separated you from them.

“Well, I  do! She's a nice girl!”

His brother squinted at him. “The human's hiding something, bro.”

He laughed at this. “When are we not hiding something?”

Though it was pretty clear you were keeping a secret, he liked you. The light from your soul stayed bright and truthful when you said you liked his company— both figuratively and literally.

He saw his brother check his watch. “We still got time before our next stop. You wanna catch a bite, bro?”

“Nope! I'm going to wait for her out here,” he replied, raising a cellphone in his hand. “Besides, I'm pretty sure she'd want this back. Mwehehe...”

Orange sat down on the seat and chuckled. “And you said that I  had sticky fingers.”

Chapter Text

Orange was proud to say that nothing short of hurting his brother would bother him.

However, something about you just rubbed him the wrong way. It didn't help that you were clearly hiding something. But of course, leave it to Blue to run up to you the moment both of them saw you put down that rude receptionist.

He spaced out on the love-seat while his brother tried unlocking your phone. "You need some help there bro?"

He watched the smaller skeleton lay down on the long seat and place the phone on his blue chest. "Maybe in 15 minutes," he sighed. "I locked myself out again."

Chuckling, Orange dug through his pocket and took out a tiny screwdriver. "Let me take a look at it."

He pulled the phone off his younger brother and began to fiddle with the back of it. A few seconds later, he gave a proud huff and turned on the screen.

"Don't tell me you managed to unlock it," said his brother, exasperated. "I've been at it for nearly an hour! How'd you do it!?"

The taller skeleton grinned.

"Well, what can I say?"

"Brother..."

"It was all—"

"Brother don't."

"—In the flick of the wrist!" he pronounced while swiping to your home screen. He threw the device back to Blue, laughing at his groan.

"Normally I would be lecturing you on how every time you say a pun, we lose a customer," drawled Blue as he glared at his brother. " However , there are more important things at hand! Mwehehe..."

Orange laid down on his brother's lap, kicked his feet up on an armrest, and closed his eyes. He didn't really care for you or your electronics, but he liked seeing his brother happy. He fell into a sleepy daze, listening to the shorter skeleton invade the privacy of your phone.

Was it wrong for him to do so? Yeah probably. Did he care? Nah.

"Ooh, I like her background."

"Oh neat! She has really great taste in music!"

"She doesn't have any pictures. Weird."

". . . What the?"

He lazily opened an eye socket to see why the little one went quiet. He sat up when he noticed the stars in his eyes were gone. "Bro?"

Before he could ask what was on your phone, Blue hid it in his pocket. He was about to take the phone for himself— until he saw you walking back.

You were so engrossed in your conversation with Elona, you didn't see the brothers until it was too late.

"O-oh! Hello again. What are you two still doing here?" you stuttered, giving a wry smile. You noticed Blue sweating a little and that Orange looked even more hostile than before.

"H-human!" Blue pushed his brother off him, causing him to fall face-first on the ground, and walked over to you. "I waited for you because I wished to ask you something, friend!"

Your cold smile melted a bit. Such a sweet little thing. "Well, I'm sorry I took so long. How can I help you, Blue?"

He gave you a stunning grin. "Do you have any plans now that you're done here?"

"I have a few more places to go to," you nod. "Why? What's wrong?"

He shook his head and began fiddling with his fingers. "Nuttin'! I was going to ask if you wanted to dine with my brother and I in a few days..." He looked back up. "I would love to know more about my new friend!"

You thought about it for a second. On one hand, you really didn't want to risk revealing yourself. On the other hand, you also didn't want to break the poor thing's heart by saying no.

"I'd be happy to go to dinner with you."

You gave a calm smile as you watched him jump with joy. "Great! Let's exchange numbers!"

Your calm facade twitched. Being the Shadow Broker, you already had his phone number. But you still had to say something to avoid suspicion, so you told him Elona's number instead.

"What should I call you, miss?" he asked.

"Leliana would be okay." He nodded in reply and you spun around to head towards the exit. However, a few steps later, Elona's phone rang. Before you could tell her not to pick up, she placed it on speaker so that you can listen in. "Hello?"

There was a slight pause before the voice spoke up.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to do, Miss Leliana."

You took a deep breath and turned to a very sad looking blueberry. Behind him was a skeleton who looked ready to maul your face off.

"A-ah, Blue," you scratched your head. "Sorry about that. I don't know my own phone number so I usually... just give... Elona's... and get the caller's afterwards."

Smooth one,  y/n . Real smooth.

You close your eyes to avoid the kicked-puppy look he was giving you. After a few agonizing seconds, you reeled back from a crushing hug.

"You're such a nice person Leliana!"

What?

"You thought so highly of me, you let your friend (sneakily) become friends with me too!" He gave an illustrious laugh.

You let go an awkward laugh while he continued to shower himself with praises.

Meanwhile, Elona pulled on the sleeve of your shirt. "I'm going to get the car ready Ma'am," she whispered. You look over to see her ready to make a run for it.

"Okay let's—"

"Please allow the Magnificent Blue to escort you, Lady Elona!"

You caught your companion's stare. Thankfully, the car you used differed from the one you use while being the Shadow Broker, but still.

You had a choice.

Either walk with Elona back to the car while getting bombarded with a barrage of questions... Or lounge on a long, comfy sofa with a quiet, albeit irritated, tall skeleton.

You gave a sorry nod to the pleading Elona. "Call me when it's ready."

You walked back to the love-seat and sat down while Orange stood by the wall next to you. Even though you were being smothered by the tension in the atmosphere, he took out a cigarette and proceeded to light it. You spied a little sign above his head.

"Non-smoking area, pal."

He raised an eye-bone and took a wisp.

"Hey-"

"Bite me."

You cringed. Orange wasn't normally so aggressive. "Did I do something to offend you?"

He looked at you as if you grew another set of limbs.

"Well, for one, you played a mean trick on my bro," he took another puff. "And that Leliana , in truth, isn't your real name."

Crap.

You turned to him, avoiding his eyes like the plague. "What do you mean?"

He walked in front of you, cigarette idly resting in his mouth. "Your name isn't 'Leliana', is it." He stated more than asked.

No it isn't.

"Yes it is."

He stared, eyes lightly glowing orange. "Not gonna ask you again nicely, lady," he said, voice getting deeper. "What's your real name?"

It's (y/n)..

"It's Leliana."

"Hmm... Should probably tell you something, sweetheart." He paused before taking a long drag of the cigarette and tossing it into a nearby fountain. As if part of a horror movie, fog-like smoke streamed out of his mouth.

"I hate liars."

Oh fuck.

You tried to look for an escape route but, using his arms, Orange boxed you in.

"Come on lady," he smirked, fangs glistening behind the smoke. "Tell me what I wanna know, and we won't have to do this the hard way."

You returned the threatening smile. "How about you get off me, Mr. Orange."

He stood up -spine straight-before grabbing your wrist and pulling you off the chair. " I never told you my name. "

Shit. Crap. Fuck.

Before he could do anything, you saw a little blue figure skipping back. You heard a low growl from Orange before he threw you back on the sofa. "Stay away from my brother."

Blue, thy name is hero.

You rub your wrist and got up.

"Leliana! Lady Elona was calling you! Why didn't you pick up?" You frantically searched your pockets and noticed that the ringer was off. That's strange, you never turn off the ringer. Oh well. You said goodbye to Blue (while ignoring his brother's glare) and went outside.

"Brother, what were you doing with her when I left?"

Orange looked over to see the little one's eyes devoid of stars. "Nothin' much bro. Just had a small chat with her," he shrugged.

His brother squinted at him. "When I held the phone, the ringer was on."

A small silence passed between them. He rubbed the back of his skull. What else was he going to say?

' Oh nothing much. I was just about to rip her arms from her shoulders and then give her to Boss as a torture gift afterwards if she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear '?

He'd sooner cut off his own legs before exposing his brother to that!

"Hey, Orange?"

He winced. His younger brother never called him that unless it was important. "Blue?"

"We... we never met her before, right?"

He was pretty sure he would remember someone like you, so he shook his head.

"Then how come her phone had both of our numbers in it?"

Chapter Text

This was a bad idea.

After completing the rest of the errands, you decided to get a phone explicitly for your other persona. On the way back to base, you called Blue to give him the new phone number.

It was kind of cute, receiving morning greetings and sleepy good nights for a few days. You also learned that he was quite a Mexican cuisine connoisseur and became humbled when you said you would like to try his cooking one of these days. According to the pictures he sent, you regretted it immediately.

A few days passed relatively the same way before you received a text from Blue.

He then reminded you about dinner.

Now, you're sitting on your bed with your head in your hands. You heard a knock at the door. “Ma'am, are you okay?”

Elona kneeled down in front of you with a cup of coffee in her hand. She passed it to you, and you take a sip. Huh. Just how you like it.

“This is delicious Elona,” you smiled. “It's exactly how I like it. Thank you.”

You watched a blush light up her wooden face. “N-no problem Ma'am! Anything I can get for you?”

You peered through the crack of the opened door and eyed the kitchen. Ignoring the tornado-sized mess on the floor, you shook your head. She sat next to you on the bed. “Then... Would you like to talk about what happened earlier?”

You sighed and laid down. “I like the little blueberry. I really do. But his brother's so distrustful, I accidentally let go that I knew his name before he introduced himself. He trapped me, Elona. I haven't been in such a compromising position since— “

Since before you were the Shadow Broker.

You shook your head to remove the thoughts raiding your mind. You vowed not to think about that anymore.

“Ma'am?”

You looked up to a worried Elona.

“Sorry about that dear.” You patted her hand and drank the rest of the coffee. “I have to get ready for a night out. Are you sure you have everything covered?”

Elona usually covered for you every time you went to the surface. Being the skilled technician that she was, it was relatively easy for her to act as the Shadow Broker. However, you always had this nagging feeling eating at you until she reassured you a million times.

“No worries Ma'am! I have everything all under control,” she giggled. “And as for that... that infuriating Orange. How dare he mess with you! I'll- I'll spam his text box with useless mail!”

Lightly chuckling, you gave her a hug. The dear was as threatening as a tiny poodle. Still, your heart swelled with warmth every time she tried to stand up for you. She may call you her boss, but you treated each other like sisters.

It was the closest thing you've ever had to a family.

She excused herself when you began dressing up. As much as you hated it, it was time for a date with the devil and his younger brother.

You followed Blue's directions to a rather high-end Italian restaurant. He said that the place was kinda famous and, judging by the paparazzi outside the establishment, you had to agree with him.

Ignoring the glares, you swam through the crowd to talk with a man at the reception.

“Ciao, signorina. Welcome to Ristorante Sconosciuto di Temmie. Do you have a reservation?”

“Table for four under the name Esqueleto.”

The man behind the counter went through a computer before speaking up. “Oh. Signorina, we marked you down with a table for six. ”

You blink. Did he bring guests over?

“No need to worry signorina. Your companions were expecting you so please, follow me.”

You decide to take in the scene as the two of you walked. Even though the restaurant was gigantic, it was certainly filled to the brim. Passing by a few famous movie stars, you began to feel unprepared for whoever Blue decided to bring with him. You were pulled out of your observation when you saw a tiny figure running up to you.

“Leliana!” he squeaked as he hugged you. “I'm so glad you decided to come! Where's Lady Elona?”

You gave a sad smile. “I'm sorry she couldn't come. She had work to do.”

“Awh...Oh well. I'll show her my friends later!”

“Speaking of which, I was told you reserved a table for six?”

“Mhm! Let me introduce you to my buddies!”

You stopped walking when you saw Blue's friends at the table.

“Leliana, this is Sans and Papyrus!”

“HELLO HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY PAPYRUS! I—HUMAN. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” asked Papyrus. He turned to his brother. “SANS, WHY DID THE HUMAN STOP MOVING? ARE THEY OKAY?”

The lazy skeleton shrugged.

“hey kid,” he pointed to you. “stop skulk- ing around and have a seat.”

Weird kid.

Lil' Blue was pretty much talking about you and your confrontation with the female receptionist. With the way he described you, he was expecting someone like his friend Undyne—not a tiny, timid human. Or maybe you're one of those people who quietly simmer then BANG— Undyne.

Eh, he didn't care. Anyone who had the guts to stand up to such a mean person was alright... Unless you were one of those bastards who were against his brother.

Sans slowly sat up in his seat when you continued to gawk at Papyrus.

You better not lay a damn finger on his brother, or so help him, he was going to use you as a punching bag.

Ever since it became clear that Paps was going to win the election, the number of people trying to hinder him sky-rocketed. If Sans wasn't sleeping, he was out persuading enemies. Half the time he was in the middle of eating! Okay, sure he was proud of his brother, but stars above. They were wearing him down to the bone.

Heh.

As if the assassinations weren't enough, Sans was now being attacked by Red of all people. The edgy crap-basket would not stop raiding his resting spots for his joke books. He didn't even know that he liked jokes! He thought Red was constantly being punished if so much as a pun left his mouth. Guess he was turning a new leaf.

Good for him.

But it doesn't excuse him for ruining his napping areas. What did he need his books for anyway? Mustard guzzling freak can get his own.

“BROTHER ARE YOU LISTENING?”

Oops.

“sorry paps. what was that?” The taller skeleton gave an exaggerated sigh.

“SANS! YOU NEED TO BECOME A BETTER LISTENER, LIKE YOURS TRULY!”

Good ol' Paps, being an avid listener.

“no can do bro,” he pointed to the sides of his head. “no ears.”

“AGH! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN YOU LAZYBONES!” yelled Papyrus. “THIS IS LELIANA! SHE VOTED FOR ME SANS!”

'kay cool. He didn't need to give you a bad time. Cross out one name from the ever-growing list of assholes.

“nice to meet ya kid,” he extended a hand. An obnoxious farting sound erupted through the room and everyone around them looked at you. His permanently-fixed grin broke into a laugh when your face turned as red as ketchup. While Paps and lil' Blue were groaning, he eyed Orange. He would be throwing a high-five at Sans right about now. Instead, he was glaring daggers at you like there's no tomorrow.

What's his problem?

You sat in between Blue and Papyrus, completing a circle with Orange next to Blue and Sans next to his brother. After the embarrassing moment, you felt a merry atmosphere cover the table. All of you (with the exception of Orange) happily talked about everything and nothing until the food came.

You looked around at the others' plates.

Blue ordered a mushroom risotto, Orange got chicken marsala, Papyrus (of course) had something like spaghetti, and Sans ordered... a pizza.

“Who orders a pizza at a place like this?”

He raised an eye-bone before taking a large bite of a slice. “Don't know what you're talkin' about kid,” he lifted his partly-bitten slice to you. “You sure don't want a pizza this?”

You laughed as you heard simultaneous groans from your sides.

“BROTHER, STOP YOUR PUNS BEFORE THE HUMAN RUNS AWAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Blue nodded ferociously and swallowed whatever was in his mouth. “Yeah! Don't make Lily leave!”

Lily?

Sans gave a hearty chuckle. “Wow, tough crowd. Fine fine. I'll leaf her alone for now.”

Before he could retrieve his arm, Blue accidentally collided with him when he went to reach something, causing the pizza slice to fall on your chest. You froze, jaw dropped, as the slice slid down to the table. A small silence crept in until—

“My stars! I'm so sorry Lily!”

“SANS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?”

“s-sorry 'bout that kid.”

“Pfft...”

You all turned to a tall skeleton who was clenching their stomach, trying to stop himself from laughing.

“Brother!” pouted Blue. “We haven't heard a single word from you this entire time, and then you decide to laugh?”

“Can't-snrk- help it bro. H-her face was priceless.” he took a deep breath. “No seriously lady, you have such a... a funny-looking face.”

You raised an eyebrow to the underlying insult.

“No need to get saucy with me Orange,” you lift the pizza slice and folded it like a wallet. “We both know who's footing the bill since I have all the dough .”

“HUMAN/LILY!”

You gave a proud smile as the elder brothers bent over in laughter.

A few minutes passed and, as much as you loved having pizza sauce on your clothes, you wanted to go clean yourself.

“Excuse me, I'm going to be right back. Gonna freshen up a bit.”

You watched Orange stand up.

“Kinda spilled wine on myself too.” He looked at you, his motives unreadable. “Come on. Let's go, mess-buddy.”

You couldn't refuse his offer without a good reason, so you both walked to the other end of the restaurant. Maybe he finally let go of earlier— since he was laughing and all.

“So. You finally gonna tell me your real name, lady?”

...Nevermind.

You sighed and looked around. The path to the restrooms were completely empty and the only things you could hear were your muffled footsteps on the velvet carpet.

“Look, Leliana . I could tell that you don't wanna say anything. That's fine.”

You cocked your head in question.

“I'll stop bugging you if you promise to answer my other question.”

Oh thank god.

“I promise. Ask me anything,” you nod.

“Why did you have me and my brother's phone numbers before we met you?”

Wh-

“What?”

“We took a peek at your phone. I'm pretty sure I would've remembered you if I met you before.”

When did they have your phone?

How did they unlock it? No. Knowing Orange's thieving skills, he probably broke through it in a matter of seconds. How much of your phone did they see? The two other factions were on it too.

You couldn't say that you were the Shadow Broker. As much as you trusted this skeleton, you couldn't risk it.

Hell, it took you years to entrust Elona with the truth, and she's been with you for far longer.

You couldn't tell him. You'd rather risk getting slaughtered by the taller skeleton than risk your identity.

You'd sacrifice anything to keep your current lifestyle.

You felt something on your head.

“Hey lady. Are you as empty in there as me?”

He was poking your head. You gave a small laugh and he looked at you as if your were crazy. Maybe you could tell him.

Just not the whole truth.

“I... I'm an agent for the Shadow Broker.”

Seeing his relaxed posture freeze, you stopped walking. “I have your numbers because I'm one of the Broker's top agents. I-I usually—“

He held up a hand to stop your stuttering.

“Whoa there. It's okay Leliana. I understand.”

He did?

“You do?”

“Yeah. No need to speak their name. Actually, you working for them makes a whole-lotta sense and answers the rest of my questions,” he gave a soft smile. “Thanks for telling me.”

You nodded in reply and finally reached the restrooms. As you were about to walk in, you felt a tug on your arm.

“Hey, uh... Sorry about earlier today and a few days ago.” He rubbed his neck before extending a hand. “Maybe we could start over?”

Without thinking, you hugged him instead of taking his hand. “My name is Leliana, and it was a pleasure to meet you.”

You gave a toothy grin and ran into the women's restroom.

Orange spaced out while staring at the door of the women's restroom.

So you were one of Shadow's leading operatives. Explained why you acted so suspicious. Explained why you had their numbers. And explained why you couldn't tell him your real name.

Underneath all that secrecy, you were pretty cute.

He felt his magic rise to his face.

He did not just call you...cute.

What he meant to say was you were a malevolent, horrid creature, hell-bent on turning his own brother against him.

He sighed while entering the men's side.

You were alright. Sure both of you were like water and oil at the beginning, but he slowly learned that you were a pretty nice person. He could see you as a good friend.

Orange passed by a mirror, before pausing and taking a few steps back.

He grinned.

“You little punk...”

You got pizza sauce on his favorite suit.

Chapter Text

Orange finally returned to his pun-slinging antics with Sans, laughing at his brother's dismay. Even though you made up with him, you swore that he was still staring at you—although less maliciously. Whenever you tried asking him what was wrong, his cheeks would flush, then he would change the subject.

Funny enough, the tall spaghetti-loving cinnamon roll was the one who noticed his strange actions. "ORANGE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU SICK?"

The conversations at the table paused, and you all looked at the counterpart who was sipping from a wine glass.

"What? Of course I am Paps. Why? What's wrong?"

Papyrus pointed to his face. "YOUR FACE KEEPS CHANGING COLORS WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE HUMAN."

The other skeleton spit out his wine and started coughing. While Blue was patting his brother's back, Sans gave a knowing grin. He looked at Orange then to you.

"hey kid," he pointed to his own shirt. "nice outfit."

"Uh, thanks—"

"bet it'd look better on range's floor."

This time you spit out your drink and start coughing. Papyrus started rubbing your back as Orange grabbed the smaller skeleton's collar. "Sans. Shut. Up."

Blue tapped his jaw thoughtfully, "But her clothes would get dirty!"

"Oh my stars, bro please. Ignore this idiot—"

"that's fine," he tugged on Orange's shirt. "she could just wear these instea—"

"SANS THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE TABLE MANNERS!"

He laughed at Paps then looked at you straight into your eyes. "hey kid."

Orange shook him. "Sans. I swear-on all that is holy- shut your mouth, before I shut it for you."

"you know what's a pretty good drink?"

"Sans."

His devious smile became a full on, shit-eating grin.

"orange juice."

You watched a screeching, orange skeleton angrily drag the cackling one outside while you froze, face completely red.

"I AM SO SORRY HUMAN! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY BROTHER!"

Your blush cooled down when you saw genuine worry on his face. "No worries Papyrus. I'm pretty sure he was just messing around."

"BUT..."

You pat his back. "Besides, you're still here! That means the night's still great!"

"NYEHEHE! THAT'S CORRECT!"

"What about me, Lily?"

You turned to a puppy-eyed blue skeleton. You felt something stab your metaphorical heart.

"Oh Blue," you gave him a big hug. You thought he stiffened for a second before he hugged you back.

"Mwehehe!" he grinned, letting go of you. "I'm glad that the Magnificent Blue has not been forgotten!"

You heard a pout on the other side of you. "I WOULD LIKE A HUG TOO HUM—LILEANA!"

hug

"Me again, Lily!"

hug

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS CANNOT HAVE A LESSER HUG COUNT THAN THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE!"

You continued to alternatively hug both of them before you heard a voice behind you. "whatcha doin' there kid?"

You looked over your shoulder to see a stubby, grinning monster with a (still) pissed-off skeleton behind him.

"SHE'S HUGGING US, SANS!"

He raised an eye-bone before taking his hands out of his pockets, and opening his arms. "come on kid. come 'ere."

You stood up and embraced the small skeleton, but before you could sit down, he twirled you around to face Orange. "now him. he's the only one left."

What is up with skeletons and their cuddles?

Ignoring the monster's stuttering, you gave him a tight squeeze before you sat down.

"You're gonna be the death of me..." you heard him grumble.

After a rocky start, the table finally returned back to normal. Even after everybody finished their meals, the conversations kept going. Everyone only got up when a manager apologized that it was half an hour past closing time.

"WOWIE!" bellowed Paps. "TODAY WAS SO MUCH FUN! WE MUST DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME!"

"Mhm! I'm glad all of you could come!" nodded Blue.

Orange looked at his watch then to his brother. "It's almost 12. Time to head home bro."

You chuckled when the hyper skeletons held each other and whined. "SANS! CAN I STAY OVER AT BLUE'S HOUSE TONIGHT?"

You could feel the lazy skeleton fighting with himself. As you were going to help him, Orange pulled you aside.

"Hey uh..." he rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm really sorry about earlier. The thing about Sans I mean."

Ooh that.

You laughed. "Don't worry about it Orange. It was all just fun and games."

He looked slightly downhearted and gave a weak chuckle. "Haha...yeah..."

Confused by his reaction, you were about to apologize, but you paused when you saw Sans walking up to you.

"hey range. lil' blue's callin' you."

As the taller one shuffled away, Sans turned to you. "kid, i know we just ate, but wanna go somewhere with me?"

"What about Papyrus?" you asked.

 "eh, paps is gonna sleep over at their place tonight," he shrugged.

You thought about it for a second. You really didn't want to leave Elona alone. Last time you stayed late outside she ended up working through the whole night, and passing out for the rest of the day.

You saw a sweat-bead drip from his skull. "come on kid. don't leave a skeleton hangin'. it's not halloween yet."

"Oh god," you snorted. "Okay, fine. Just lemme text someone real fast." You took out your alternate phone.

To [elolo]: I'm going to be out for a while longer. Don't stay up too late, get some sleep!

You saw Paps waving in the corner of your eye, run up to you, and whip out his phone. "HUMAN! WE NEED TO MEET UP LIKE THIS AGAIN SO THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS GOING GRACIOUSLY GIFT YOU HIS NUMBER AND HOPE THAT YOU WOULD DO THE SAME!"

D'awww...

"Of course Papyrus."

He gave you his phone and as did you. When you got it back you had a new contact labeled 'THE GREAT AND MIGHTY AND STUNNING AND...' Giggling, you shortened his name to something else that suits him.

You laughed as he strutted away, happily screaming, "THANK YOU HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS MADE ANOTHER FRIEND! NYEHEHE!"

The other group waved goodbye and walked off into the night. You decided to check your phone and, sure enough, you got a message from Papyrus.

From Sunshine: [FEEL FREE TO CALL ME PAPS FROM NOW ON HUMAN! ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME THAT!@!@!!]

Feeling yourself smile, you turned off your phone right before another notification turned it on.

From [elolo]: Stay safe ma’am! Don’t wander with strangers that you don’t have info on! Keep all hands inside moving vehicles and strap in when the lights turn on!

You snorted. Did she think she was an air stewardess? 

"ready to go, kid?" You nodded while replying to Elona and he extended his hand. He looked a bit worried. "i know a shortcut, but i need you to close your eyes."

You stared at him. This must be his infamous teleporting trick that the notes have talked about.

"hey, don't look at me like that. i would never do anything bad to you, i'm a complete gentleman," he huffed arrogantly. "it's in my bones."

Groaning, you grab his skeletal hand. The moment you closed your eyes, you were hit by a wave of heat and light-headedness.

"woah there kid," he let go of your hand to steady you by the waist. "welcome to grillby's."

Wow. Humans were soft.

"Where are we? How'd you do that?" He let go of you and stared at your face, eyes shining brightly.

"magic," he said as he shook his jazzy hands. He chuckled when you grumbled away from him and look up ahead.

"Is...Is the bartender on fire?"

Ah, if he got a dollar for every time he's heard that...

He laughed and pushed you towards the bar. Since it was very late, he and you (plus a passed out rabbit in a cubicle) were the only ones there.

"hey grillz. this here's leliana. kid, this is the hot-as-hell owner of this place." He grinned when he felt the heat from behind the counter rise.

"...Grillby," whispered the elemental. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance..."

Sans watched you return the greeting. He eyed Grillby silently sliding him a ketchup bottle while he spoke with you. The conversation between the three went on for a while and Sans sat back for a bit to drink his condiment.

He was glad Blue introduced you to them.

You were a nice kid. You didn't discriminate against his brother. Hell, you liked awful puns as much as he did. No wonder Range had it bad for you.

Ah, speaking of him...

He waited until you finished your conversation with Grillby, with the bartender walking away to clean a few tables.

"so kid." Sans sat up in his seat and mimicked a certain skeleton's voice. "i'm so so sorry, please forgive me for being a stars damn, sonova, blah blah blah, numbskull."

He grinned when you giggled.

You had a pretty nice voice.

"No worries," you smiled. "Those lines were sans -sational."

Oh. Hell yes.

"really now?" he smirked. "good thing i brought my library card then— i'd like to check you out."

You laughed, clenching your stomach. After a few breaths, you shook your head. "Too bad you're a skeleton."

He tilted his head in question. What was that supposed to mean?

"Because if you were a fruit, you'd be a fine -apple."

Sans doubled over in laughter. "stars, that was i-i don't even know!"

You chortled when he couldn't stop laughing which, in return, made him laugh even louder. He finally caught his breath and watch you catch yours. While squirming on the bar table, he saw your shirt slowly ride up to your ribs.

"hey kid, nice bones," he pointed to your rising shirt. "want another one in you?"

You froze, hurriedly fixed your outfit, then looked away from him.

Shit.

Was that too much?

"h-hey kid."

He spun you around, expecting a condescending look filled with hatred. Instead, your face was hidden behind your hands, so he pried them free. He was rewarded with the most adorable, flushed look he had ever seen.

He wanted to see you even more embarrassed.

"hey, sleeping with me is killer," he bent towards you. "wanna die happy?"

"Saaaaans!" You tried turning your face away, but he held it in place.

"broke my bed yesterday, can i sleep in yours tonight?"

"Sans oh my God please—"

"Fine fine. I'm heading outside." He let go of you and jumped off the stool. He then materialized a tongue and stuck it out towards you. "wanna come?"

"FOR GOD'S SAKES!"

Sans bellowed with laughter as he waved goodbye to Grillz and walked with you towards the exit.

"i-i'm," he coughed. "i'm not hearin' a no, kid."

He snickered when you stumbled on a step.

"C-come on. Let's just get back," you growled, grabbing hold of his hand. He teleported both of you back to the restaurant, catching you when you wobbled from nausea.

Good lord, you humans were really soft.

"Well, that was really fun— despite the fact that a certain someone was trying to kill me."

He gave a lazy grin. "no skin off my bones kid. here, gimme your digits so i can take you out again."

He pulled out his phone and looked up to see you shaking your fingers in front of him.

Wh-oh. Har har.

"nice one kid. now give 'em here."

The two of you exchanged numbers while he walked you to his car. When you got in and drove away, he let out a long sigh.

You were a nice kid.

You were a friend of his brother.

You were flipping adorable.

But...

Orange...

He felt his soul lurch.

"i need a drink..." he groaned, teleporting away.

Chapter Text

You were honestly having one of the most fun times of your life in the next few months. Paperwork aside (thanks Red), you would meet up with a pair of skeleton brothers after hours. Each one had their own taste and it intrigued you to no end.

Being invited by Papyrus or Sans means you would be brought to a family-owned Italian restaurant. When nearing the end of the dinner, Sans would bring Papyrus back home with that interesting teleport ability then come back for you for a more ‘personal’ time in Grillbys. By that, he means incessantly throwing flirty puns that would end with you being saved by the hot bartender himself, warning Sans that if he continued, you would burst into flames and become like him.

You would never forget the time you one upped him though.

“can i have your number?” he grinned, from the other side of the table

You groaned into your milkshake, making bubbles. “Sans, you already have my number. Where are you going with this?”

“harsh crowd,” chuckled the skeleton as he dipped his french fry into the condiment he drank. “you got a better one?”

Nodding, you paused before shoving the milkshake aside and extended your hand with a straight face. “Give me your phone.”

“what?”

You opened and closed your hand, repeating yourself.

“why?”

“You wanted my phone number, so let me add it.”

You snorted at how baffled he looked as he handed you his phone in confusion. There was a smidgen of warmth in your heart when you realized he trusted you enough with his phone to pass it to you with minimal questioning. After having him unlock his phone, you opened up the contact list and added a new contact with the same phone number as yours, but a different name and passed the phone back to him.

Chuckling, he took it back and shook his head. “what did you even—”

You could not hold back the laugh from escaping you as his face exploded into a beautiful navy hue. “you named yourself my lover ?”  

Ever since then, it became an inside joke between the two of you. When he was running out of fumes or his pick up game was too shallow, you would call him nicknames like lover, loverboy, and skelover to have him reset his brain.

Both of you treated it like a game. The first person to crack pays the tab Sans keeps on building (it’s you. it’s always you. every time you do get up to pay this tab, he would sit you down and tell Grillby to put his tab on his tab.)

Now that you think about it, Orange was almost the same way in that department. 

After Blue invited you to a family-owned Mexican restaurant, Orange took him home then pulled you aside to see if you'd maybe like to stop by a cafe. He even politely offered you to pay.

How thoughtful.

Snorting, you agreed then he brought you to a cozy cafe owned by a surprisingly quiet spider lady named Fett. You felt shivers go up your spine when you thought of the lady who you initially thought she was, but your fears were alleviated when Fett said that lady was her cousin. 

Seeing as though Orange was avoiding your eyes means that he had that same fear at the beginning. Nice to know you weren’t the only one.

The after party with Orange was very much different from Sans. In fact, the only thing that was similar was him taking the check away from you and asking Fett to put it on his tab. 

While Sans flirted skin deep, Orange delved into the waters.

Awkward was an understatement. He started with the heavy hitting questions: So why were you named Liliana? Who gave you that name? How’d you become one of the Broker’s top agents? 

When it was clear that you would give him non-answers and avoided specific topics, he sighed and began talking to you instead of interrogating you. The two of you played twenty questions: one person asking the other something, and if the person didn't want to answer, they’d take a sip of Fett’s special tea, which you assumed was some sort of floral monster alcohol because you swore you weren’t a lightweight. 

The tea did its job though, as about 10 questions in, both of you had loose lips and started giggling over the stupidest of things. Case in point: You don’t know why he kept laughing when you said liked the color breen. The blue/green combination certainly did exist, thank you very much!

Stupidity aside, you learned much about him as a person: he loves his brother (obviously), he writes with his left hand, his favorite number is 31, he likes taking long drives at night, and stargazing at his ‘special spot’. He even offered to take you on to one of his long drives to said special spot if you paid his tab.

You would if he could stop taking away that check dang it all.

Neither of you noticed the sun coming up in the dark cafe until the door opened with an irate looking Blue and Elona standing shoulder to shoulder. You watched Orange get carried like a potato sack by Blue as he waved goodbye to you, who was being dragged into a car home by Elona. 

One headache later, you and Orange swore you’d avoid that tea next time you do twenty questions, and instead opted for your favorite drinks every other time you would meet up.

You smiled softly at the skeletons’ “bonedoggling” as Papyrus would say the few times the schedule of the five of you would meet up. Your heart ached though, wondering if you were leaving out Boss and Red. 

Boss was legitimately an amazing person to confide in (as the Shadow Broker) and a very close friend (as the Shadow Broker) that always had your back (as the Shadow Broker) . Many times, however, you heard of his “stick-in-his-ass” outward persona that he uses to protect himself and his brother.

And his brother…

You knew Red had issues, as the reports would say. As the Shadow Broker, you knew he secretly loved puns, chocolate… And that’s pretty much it really.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the lack of information available. Maybe one of these days, Boss and Red would cross your “agent” persona’s path and you’ll be able to meet them as a person instead of their boss.

Shaking your head, you put on your shoes and walked towards Elona, eying a computer with scrutiny. “I’ll be heading to the restaurant Papyrus gave me now, so don’t stay up too late Lona,” you smiled, pinching her bark cheek.

If you weren’t focusing on her completely, you would have missed the nanosecond where there was a tiny glint of something in her eyes as she turned to you and returned your smile. “Take care ma’am! Don’t do what I won’t do!”

You paused, watching her for a few seconds before sighing and waving goodbye. 

That was also something that you noticed the past few months: Elona being a bit more distant. Granted, (despite someone needing to be here at all times) you did invite her and she did come to a few of the meets, but for the most part she stayed home. Every time you came back, tiny blossoms would appear at the top of her head as she jovially welcomed you home. You’re 95% sure that her joy was from the plentiful gifts you would bring back, and not you coming home much later than expected...

Right?

Chapter Text

You relaxed into Sans' grip as he teleported you back to the restaurant. 

"you know, maybe next time you could just park next to grillbz' so we won't have to walk back to your car," he smirked, letting you go. "not to say i'm not flattered that you want me to hold on to you so much."

"Oh can it," you giggled, patting his shoulder. You saw him turn to you before his phone rang. With an intense look in his eyes, he took out his phone and you turned to give him some privacy with the caller. You heard him curse before spinning you around with a guilty look on his shoulders.

"sorry kid, an emergency came up and i gotta bail immediately." he looked past you down the alleyway that you needed to walk through. "you okay going by yourself?"

"I'll be fine Sans, you should go. Sounds important."

He looked physically pained before sighing and nodding. "i'm just a phone call away, okay kid? see ya."

You silently curse the paparazzi for making you park so far away.

You paused when you heard a sound coming from behind you. Turning your head slightly, you saw a group of people staring at you.

Oh, how wonderful.

You continued walking, although a bit faster. You turned a corner into a tighter alleyway. Looking around, it was completely devoid of life. You sped up when you heard multiple footsteps coming from behind you.

Were they muggers? Were they just a small-time gang out for fresh meat?

Or were they hitme—

You grit your teeth when you heard a loud bang and felt a sudden pain blast through your right thigh. Ignoring the ache, you broke into a sprint.

"She's getting away! Get her!"

You grind your teeth when you felt another burst of pain in your left arm.

You had to hide somewhere. You were just zig-zagging in a straight alley. They were going to kill you if you kept it up. You squinted up ahead.

Dead end.

Shit!

Your eyes rapidly scanned the path. You almost screamed in delight when you saw an opened vent hidden behind a couple of boxes.

You jumped behind the boxes, feeling the head of the bullets whizzing past your face. Ignoring the burning sensation in your arm and leg, you crawled through the vent as if your life depended on it— and boy, it did.

You thank Lady Luck for supplying the vent with multiple routes. You heard yelling echo through the metal. "Damn it you idiots! It's just one woman! The bullets were poisoned for God's sake!"

Are you kidding me?

You felt a crack beneath you.

"No. Nonono—"

You crashed through the rusty metal, landing in a dusty room filled with deteriorating pipes.

You tried getting up, but fell back down, feeling light-headed. You felt something wet and sticky to your right, and so you turned your head. You had a giant gash on the right side of your ribs.

Great! Let's add in Tetanus to the unknown toxins dancing in your body. It's all one big party of death in your body, and life wasn't invited.

You groaned. You were going crazy and blamed it on the poison.

It was pretty clear you couldn't move anymore. You had to call someone.

The first person you thought of was Elona. She could send in a group to save you.

You rustled through your bloody pockets for your main phone and dialed her number.

"We're sorry. The number you have dialed does not exist."

What the hell?

You ended the call and dialed again.

"We're sorry. The num—"

Oh no. Was she okay? Damn it! 

"Please be okay, Elona."

That was one person you tried to call. Who could— Sans! He has that teleporting ability. Maybe he can...

You took out your other phone and called him. "We're sorry. The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable."

"Are you shitting me?" You just saw him a few minutes ago!

You bit your lip thinking of the next person you could try...

Orange!

You punch in his number on your side phone. Please work.

ring

Yes! You cross you fingers.

ring

Come on! You grip your side, trying to stop the blood flow.

r--click

"Heyo, Orange here."

Oh thank God.

"Orange. I need you to help me. I—"

"Ahh, gotcha. Voicemail. Leave a message and I might get back to ya."

beep

.

.

.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?"

You smash the power button and were about to throw the phone, but your arm fell weakly to your side.

You cussed inwardly. You didn't want to do this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You pick up your main phone with your other arm and poked a number that was on speed dial.

The phone rang once before a low, grumbling voice spoke up. "Hello?"

You grip your bleeding side as hard as you could, hoping the distortion effect on the phone was working.

"Boss, it's me. I need to cash in that favor now."

Chapter Text

Boss grumbled into his pillow.

For the past few months, he'd done nothing but lament at the quality of his subordinates.

He swore that if he was a human, he'd have ripped a vocal cord earlier today by how much he yelled at the idiots. Apparently, there was an unknown faction hell-bent on causing havoc in his territory. From break-ins to out right dusting his fellow crusaders, Boss has had enough with that mystery group.

And his brother wasn't helping.

Every time he turned around, the angsty wrecking ball would disappear somewhere. Next thing you know, Boss gets a passive-aggressive message from Sans saying something about napping areas and his brother.

Was the idiot seriously vanishing mid-battle to sleep behind his back?

That lazy attitude of his is going to get him killed, but he won't let that happen. Boss chided himself for allowing his brother to become lethargic. That wasn't a habit the leader of the gang could fall into.

He gave a long yawn.

But he was going to do that when he wakes up. He felt his eyelids droop— until his phone blared next to his head.

“Who the devil...” he answered the call. “Hello?”

“Boss, it's me. I need to cash in that favor now.”

He sat up, rigid. “Broker?”

Why did they sound so out of breath?

“I need you to pick someone up and protect them at all cost.”

“Broker, what happened?” He jumped off his bed and hurriedly put on his bullet-proof equipment. “Who are we escorting? Are they injured?”

Boss heard you pause, taking a deep breath. “A woman who goes by the name 'Leliana' and, as for her injuries, I don't know the extent of it but I think it's pretty bad. Candy won't help.”

He squinted at the phone. He was getting more and more suspicious of why the Shadow Broker truly called him.

“Broker,” he growled. “What happened?”

Before he could hear your response, he heard a loud crash from your end. “Can't talk,” you whispered. “Sending you her coordinates using her phone. Hurry.”

The line closed before Boss could stop you.

“Fuck!” he yelled, stepping out of his door and taking a left to his brother's.

He was about to kick the door down before he heard something. He placed the side of his head and instantly regretted it.

“RED! YOU DISGUSTING DEGENERATE! I'M GIVING YOU 10 SECONDS TO COME OUT HERE BEFORE I DRAG YOU OUT MYSELF!”

He face palmed as he heard rapid rustling and cussing from behind the door.

Why- in the mother of fuck- was he screaming for the Shadow Broker?

“B-boss! W-whatcha need?”

He peered through his bony hand to see a flushed, fidgeting skeleton.

Oh lordy.

“I just received a call from the Broker—”

He saw his eyes light up.

“— and we have to save someone—”

He saw the light in his eyes die out.

“— and escort them back here.”

He saw his brother's eyes fill with contempt. Boss would have laughed if the situation wasn't so dire.

He felt his phone vibrate and opened it.

Meanwhile, Red was growling. “So you're telling me, you woke me up in the middle of the night to save some sorry guy's ass?”

You were far from sleeping, you fool.

“It's a female, imbecile.”

“I don’t give a rat's ass if they were a friggen’ unicorn. I was—”

Boss clenched his brother's skull. “Red.”

“S-sorry Boss,” he grumbled. “So, who're we looking for?”

“Someone by the name of 'Leliana',” he looked down on his phone to see a map of the city with a dot blinking in the corner. “Do you know where this is?”

Red squinted at the phone. “I don't know where it is exactly, but I've been somewhere close to that.”

Boss nodded in reply.

Despite being a weak, powerless nitwit, as long as he'd seen a place once, he could teleport to it (with at least one passenger) easily. He also had to admit, his memory was rather exceptional— even going as far as saying it was better than his own.

But it'll be a cold day in hell before he'd say that out loud.

He held the smaller skeleton's shoulders before teleporting to a filthy alleyway. There was trash everywhere and putrid liquids lined the wall like—

Ugh.

“How the hell did you end up here?” He watched his brother open his mouth before he shut it for him. “Never mind. I don't want to know. Come, we need to find this woman.”

If your injuries were as bad as he thought they were, he should take torture lessons from your attackers.

"Broker, what happened?”

Before you could respond, the door to the room slammed open. You cursed and forced yourself to merge with the shadows of the pipes. However, the light of the phone was going to expose you so you turned on the emergency GPS program on your other phone, told Boss, and ended the call.

You hoped Elona remembered to configure the tall skeleton’s phone to accept your coordinates.

“She has to be in here! I swear I heard something!”

You held your breath when you heard footsteps approaching your hiding spot. You closed your eyes focusing on your hearing, listening to how far they were.

10— no, 12 feet.

5 feet.

3…

You bit your lip when you felt someone looking straight into your direction.

“She’s not here you idiots! Let’s go look somewhere else!”

You inwardly sighed in relief when you opened your right eye and saw that no one was there. You crawled out of the darkness.

However, you were immediately lifted by your neck by something from your left blind spot. You were brought up face to face by someone wearing a balaclava.

“Now that we’re alone,” you heard him grin, before slamming you to the ground. “You and I can have some fun before we turn you in.”

You flail your hands, ignoring the burning sensation in your arms, for any sort of weapon.

There was no way in hell you were going to take it.

You gasp when you felt an iron pipe with your left arm. With him in the process of bending towards you, you wrapped your legs around his waist and used his own weight to reverse your positions. You then slammed the pipe onto his face.

You. Won’t. Suffer. AGAIN.

You caught yourself repeatedly bashing the unmoving man.

Oh no, did you just—

You felt his neck. There was a pulse.

Oh thank god. You must have thought that he was…

You shook your head. Best not to think about the past right now.

You jumped when you heard a pair of footsteps approaching the room again.

Shit. Through sheer willpower, you hid behind some pipes and focused on your hearing once more.

4 feet away.

2…

Now!

With the rest of your remaining strength, you swing the iron pipe as hard as you could.

“FUH—!” you saw the iron pipe break on the stubby figure that fell.

Wait. Stubby?

You clamber towards the unconscious figure, cradling his head like a child.

“RED!” you screamed, as did a voice through the door. You watched a much taller skeleton pretty much slide on his knees to his brother’s side.

“HUMAN! I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR THAT!” He reached out to you.

You slapped away his hand. “Now’s not the time for arguments Boss! I-I might have cracked his skull!”

“You know my name.” You felt his infamous death glare on your face. “Are you ‘Leliana’ by any chance?”

You nod and he turned back to Red. “Normally, I would strip you of your spine, but your assailants are nearby.”

He dug through his pockets, unwrapped a piece of candy, and stuffed it into the smaller one’s mouth. He waited a second before silently throwing you and Red over his shoulders like sacks of potatoes. He was about to take a step, but you stopped him.

You pointed to the unconscious man you knocked out earlier. “Do you think we could take him?”

He raised an eye-bone. “Ally?”

You shook your head— regretting it afterwards. “Info.”

Nodding, his eyes began to glow, raising the semi-corpse towards him and began running.

Your face turned green with every step he took. You never knew he could move so fast.

“If so much as a drop of saliva gets on me, human,” you heard him growl. “I will gut you very slowly.”

Out of pure determination, you held in your dinner from that night.

Boss ran until you were all a few blocks away. Despite carrying two (three if you include the floating piece of garbage) people, the damn monster hardly broke a sweat.

He set you down, and you dizzily chuckled at him slapping Red awake— ‘til you sensed something staring at your group. You looked everywhere then you saw it. A sniper had his aim on—

“Boss!” You jumped up, dove towards him, and felt something get lodged into your chest.

You thought you heard someone yelling and saw a flash of red, but you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

You blacked out.

 You felt an overwhelming pressure crushing you.

The more you tried to struggle, the tighter the sensation got.

Fighting your tired eyelids, you forced open an eye.

You were face to face with a short, sleeping skeleton. In a panic, you inched back only to get pulled back to him. You groaned.

Looking around, you were in a Spartan-like environment, so it was safe to say you weren’t in Red’s room.

But where was Boss?

And why the hell were you sleeping in the same bed as Red?

Chapter Text

It was getting hot and the skeleton showed no sign of waking up.

“Red, come on. Get up!” you said while pushing him.

Instead of getting some room, he squeezed you even tighter. Being crushed into his ribs, you caught a whiff of mustard and something musky.

He squeezed your waist. “Broker...” he grumbled.

You froze.

Did he know?

You look down at your clothes to see that your outfit had been swapped with something ten times bigger than your actual size. You guess that Boss' clothes were too big. You also thank him for helping with your injuries. But was it really too much to ask for a shirt that doesn't say 'idiot' in bold letters on it?

Wait, your phones were in your clothes!

Since you were being squished between the wall and Red, you tried stretching your neck over him. However, the snoring skeleton inched closer and you felt something hot and sticky on your neck.

“Red!” you yelled.

You sighed in relief when he woke up. You also cringed when he backed up too far and fell off the bed face-first.

How many times have you hurt the poor thing's head?

“Wuh—“ he sat up and glared at you. “Tha fuck are you doin' in my bed!?”

You sat up and crossed your arms. “This isn't your room, Red.”

Confused, he looked around then paused. “Oh... Thas right I...”

A dark grimace crept onto his face before he looked at you— first with befuddlement then with bitter arrogance.

“So...” he put his elbows on the bed. “Gold digger, huh?”

You blink. “What?”

“I know that Boss issa big shot n' all, but seriously doll?” He pointed at the bed. “You could do much better than that.”

You stared at him, exasperated.

Was he seriously implying—

He stood up and kneeled on the bed. You reeled back in reflex and scooted until your back hit the wall. “I was passed out for God's sakes!”

He held your arms above your head when you tried shoving him away.

“Damn, no need to describe what happened,” he whispered into your ear. “You dirty brother fucker.”

“Red! Let go of her this instant!”

You both turned to a half-naked skeleton positioned to attack by the door.

Red gave a single “Ha!” before letting you go and walking up to his brother.

“That good, huh?” he winked.

Boss grabbed his brother's collar and brought him up to his face. “Not another word from you. Leave.”

You watched the smaller one glare at you one last time before leaving. Meanwhile, the taller one strutted towards you as if the only thing he wasn't wearing was a towel.

He stood by the bed, arms crossed. “We need to talk.”

Red stomped downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. He nearly ripped the fridge door off its hinges, grabbed a few bottles of mustard, then slammed it shut. He chugged one and growled when he finished it.

'Irritated' didn't even come close to what he was feeling.

After you got yourself shot for Boss, his brother went ape-shit with bones and damn-near eviscerated the gunner.

You bleedin' idiot. Didn't you know Boss didn't go anywhere without wearing proper protection like the pompous prick he was?

Red walked over to the living room and laid down on the couch.

He knew his brother could move fast, but damn. He sped like a bullet towards the medical area of his dungeon, holding you like a friggen' child. It was actually pretty fricken' funny to see the leader of the crusade hover over you like a mother hen.

Red took a sip and laughed bitterly. He turned on the TV and let the sounds echo throughout the room while he wallowed in his thoughts.

It was a couple of hours into treating you when they both realized you had somethin' real nasty swimming inside of you. Red was surprised when his brother (very regretfully) confessed that he didn't know what kind of toxin it was.

Even with all the tubes and IVs plugged into you, your condition continued to get worse so Boss sent him to pick up some medical supplies in a nearby storage facility.

When Red came back, however, Boss had a phone up to his head in one hand, and gripping a different one in the other.

Carrying the medical necessities, he noticed that his brother was frozen stiff. When he asked what was wrong, the tall skeleton stuttered. Stuttered. Boss never stuttered. Something bad happened.

Red's fear was confirmed and he teleported away when his brother said the Shadow Broker was no longer responding. Upon arriving, he dropped to his knees.

Broken computer screens littered the floor, blood covered the (normally) sparkling walls, and the table you usually sat at was broken in half. Standing up with shaky legs, he trudged through the sea of red and walked up to your desk.

There, he saw your trademark helmet cracked on a pile of dust.

He slowly raised the helmet as if it were more fragile than glass, and held it close to his chest.

You were strong. You were smart.

You gave him chocolate as a thank you for his bad jokes.

You. Weren't. Dead.

Teleporting back to his room, he threw everything off his table and gingerly placed your helmet down. Ignoring his brother's phone calls, he traveled back to your not-so-secret base for any clues towards your whereabouts.

For three days, he didn't rest and only consumed the occasional condiment for a source of energy.

But he wasn't a detective.

The only thing he could find was a door hidden behind the walls of the Broker's base.

He literally spent hours tryna make a scratch, but nearly passed out from a lack of energy. He reluctantly teleported back home and knocked out. He must have made a mistake in his teleportation because he was so physically and mentally exhausted.

Guess there was a first for everything.

But what he couldn't understand was why the human they brought back was on his brother's bed. What happened while he was gone?

...Boss seriously wasn't boning a human while he was out doin' stuff, was he?

He thought his brother was “above these childish acts of distasteful sexuality”.

Red gripped a mustard bottle and ignored the liquid spilling out.

Stars DAMN IT ALL!

He was the one who's supposed to kick back and relax— not the other way around!

Red jumped when he heard a crash upstairs.

“Tha hell?” He dropped the mustard bottles on the sofa and made his way to the upper level.

He didn't care whoever this Leliana is... But if they did anything bad to their brother...

Red smiled.

He was gonna have a good time.

You tried to look everywhere except at Boss.

However, that was easier said than done when said skeleton was literally towering over you.

God damn, did he have some nice bone structure though.

“What do you need, Boss?” you gulped.

He squinted at you and growled.

"I hope you realize how stupid it was for you to jump at me. Did you really think I wouldn't see the sharpshooter?”

Wh—

You raised an eyebrow. “You know, most people would be a little grateful when someone saves their life.”

“As if I need a broken, pathetic whelp to,” he air quoted. “Save me.”

Calling you broken struck a nerve deep inside of you. Normally, you'd let it slide but you were too stressed out from the recent events.

Ignoring the ache in your legs, you stood up on the bed to (try to) get to his eye-level.

“Listen here, you damned skeleton,” you pointed a finger at him. “I just had the time of my life. Cut the mean bullshit.”

He laughed and bent towards you. “Aw, is the poor, defective human tired?”

You bite your lip.

Being the Shadow Broker, you know how big of a softy Boss really was. However, you never actually faced his outside persona head-first.

And was it pissing you off.

“And what is that look for human?” he grinned.

“...Shut up.”

He gave a dark chuckle. “Would you look at that! I hurt the feelings of the damaged goods!”

You aimed your arms toward his throat but they were caught quite easily. “You mother fucker! Shut the hell up!”

He approached you, an inch away from your face. “Or what? Are you threatening me, Broker?”

“YES!”

You pause.

Did he just...

You dropped down to the bed as he gave a smirk.

No no no.

He walked to a nearby closet and shuffled through it.

It's okay, it was just a fluke. He doesn't know—

“You know, Broker...”

Fuck.

“Quite surprising how you forgot that the easiest way to control someone is through their anger.”

You laid face down on the bed as your heard clothes rustling.

“You give in to rage quite easily, don't you Broker ?”

“Oh god, kill me now. “ You grumbled into a pillow. You heard footsteps approach and felt a dip in the bed.

“No, that would be counter productive to my goals, Broker.”

You felt the hairs on your neck rise. “What do you want,” you stated more than asked.

There was a pause in the conversation before you felt a pat on your back. “To apologize.”

“What?” You look back from the pillow to see a genuinely sad skeleton.

He clasped his hands and looked away.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to use this information for my own needs,” he said. “But I can see that my words have deeply affected you. I just wanted to confirm your title but I suppose I went a bit too far.”

There was the big marshmallow.

You sat up to face him and sighed. Why were you so weak against all these skeletons' personalities?

You scooted into his side and chuckled when he flinched. “Don't you dare touch me human! You'll open your wounds!”

Oh right.

“I suppose we're even since you managed to stitch me up. Thanks for that by the way.” You swore you saw a tinge of red appear on his cheekbones but it disappeared as fast as it appeared. “Speaking of which, I know you gave me some fancy threads, but where did you put my clothes? I need to make some phone calls.

“Your torn rags were unfitting for someone of your stature and, as much as I disapprove of Red's sense of fashion, I must agree with his shirt.” He tossed you both your phones.

While you waited for your phones to turn on, you asked if Red knew of your identity.

“No, it's... much safer for you if he didn't know who you were,” he said, avoiding your gaze.

Before you could ask what he meant, your side phone started blaring with alerts. With half a smile, you scanned through the senders to see they were mostly from Sans and Orange while you got the occasional questions about your status from Blue and Papyrus.

You check your other phone and tried calling Elona, but the number was still unavailable. You hoped that she was alright.

Sighing, you ignored the other work-related messages on the main phone, and turned on your other phone. You decided to call Orange and Sans to tell them that you were alright.

You dialed Orange's number and turned to Boss while you waited for him to pick up.

The tall skeleton was in the corner, trying to fix a giant sculpture of him into the closet. You didn't even see the damned statue when you woke up. How did that get here?

“Boss, that won't fit inside,” you laughed.

“No, it- it will! I can squeeze it in!” he snarled, trying to shove the thing in.

You walked up to the statue. Despite it being obnoxiously large, it was a marble sculpture of him in his (in)famous black tuxedo. It was extremely detailed, showing even the smallest of lines in his bones.

“Wow, did you make it?” You ask, touching the arms.

“Of course! This... this is a personal hobby of mine that Red does not need to know about.” He huffed arrogantly then shooed you. “Now I'm going to start moving it.”

With one hard push, the giant sculpture's head broke off at the top of the closet door. “Broker!” yelled Boss when he dived for you.

Your phone went flying and the sculpture fell as you rolled with Boss, finally stopping with him ontop of you. “A-apologies Human.”

Before you could reply, you heard the door open from across the room. “Boss, wazzat sou—”

Red paused mid-step. “Oh.” And began to back outside the room.

Boss jumped up and chased after him. “Wait! Red! It isn't what it looks like!”

Well that was fun.

You look at the shattered pieces of the statue and spied your phone under the pieces of rubble. It was off and you sighed.

Gotta wait for it to turn on again. God, you have such a love/hate relationship with technology.

“Brother your phone's ringing!”

Orange lifted his head from the sofa, “Who is it?”

He watched his brother look down at the phone. “It's Lily, brother! Here!”

The taller skeleton nearly ran across the room to answer your call. You've been gone for almost four days, and the last thing he heard was you shouting profanities at him. To make matters worse, the Shadow Broker wasn't responding to any of his calls so he's been on edge, constantly trying to contact you.

“Hello? Lilea—“

“Boss, that won't fit inside!”

...What?

“No, it-it will! I can squeeze it in!”

Orange nearly dropped the phone. He was hearing things right?

“Wow, did you make it?”

“Of course! This...This is a personal hobby of mine that Red does not need to know about.”

Were you...

“Now , I'm going to start moving.”

HOLY SHIT! YOU WERE!

Orange slammed the power button. “Brother, what did Lily say? Is she okay?”

Blue jumped when his elder brother grabbed his shoulders and bent down towards him with the darkest glare he'd ever seen.

“Do you know the location of Boss' house?”

Chapter Text

You tried calling Orange again, but were brought to his voicemail so you ended the call.

Half-listening to the edgy brothers' yelling downstairs, you dialed in Sans' phone number. Unlike the other skeleton, he picked up immediately.

“ sup, sans here. who's this?"

“Sans?”

You heard something shatter on the other side.

“ holy— kid, is that you? are you okay? range's been freaking out since we've tried to contact you.”

You gave a weak chuckle. “I ran across some problems when we split— ”

“damn it... if only I walked you to your car...”

Oh no, was he blaming himself for what happened?

You gripped the phone next to your ear.

“Sans! Listen to me!” you yelled. “ Nothing is your fault! I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time!”

“ yeah but...”

“Besides,” You grin. “Even though the event was pretty chilling , I had an ice time!”

A lull in the conversation crept in before Sans spoke up again.

“ kid...did you just—”

“What's wrong Sans?” you chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?”

A smile was plastered on your face when you heard a hearty laugh from the other end of the line.

“ nahhh, but you know what kid?”

“What?”

You heard a grin from the other side. “i can certainly give a little kitty my tongue.”

You covered your face with your other hand. “Oh my god Sans. Are you serious?”

“ why of course i am!” he snickered. “i can show you an example if you want.”

“OH MY GOD!”

The two of you exchanged a few more puns before you heard Paps screaming from Sans' side.

“ oh. well, that's my cue to get going. before i go, mind tellin' me where you are?”

You bite your lip. It wouldn't hurt to tell him where you were right? “Well... Things happened so... I'm at Boss' house.”

You heard a pause in his breath. “huh. okay.”

'Okay'? That was it?

“You're... not even gonna ask?”

“ mmm...nope. everyone's got a secret or two right?”

You sighed in relief. Leave it to Sans to be so relaxed and understanding.

“Human? Are you finished with your phone call?”

Turning around, you were met face to face with a tall skeleton dragging a smaller one by his collar.

“Almost, Boss.” He nodded and stepped back outside the room.

“ sounds like you got things to do too.”

“Yeah,” you laughed.

“ ...hey...”

“Yes Sans?”

You heard an intake of breath. “nah... nevermind. take care kid.”

You blink as you hear a click in the call. You look at your phone to see that the skeleton ended the conversation himself.

But why did it feel like he really wanted to say something else?

Sans spaced out on the couch, dangling pieces of a broken glass bottle with his magic.

He knew those ruthless assholes could protect you, but he didn't trust them.

Sure Red may have stopped bugging him, but now he's running everywhere trying to look for something.

To make matters worse, Boss (somehow) became even more secretive than before. He also became more jumpy and suspicious.

“SANS! ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME WITH THE GROCERIES OR NOT!?”

He looked over his shoulder to see his brother carrying multiple brown bags in each arm. Seems like they were going to have spaghetti for dinner.

Again.

He let his magic assist him, ignoring the yells he was receiving.

On a different note, you being at their house explains why Range was fervently tryin' to ask where Boss' home base was.

Sans snickered, trying to imagine the love-struck skeleton's face once he sees you with the brothers.

Aw man, he had to remember to ask you for pictures.

You were lovingly, or as Boss lovingly could be, banned from moving outside his room. In fact, you had to spend a good two hours with the tall skeleton to convince him of the unfortunate circumstances of preventing a human from going to the bathroom. 

Needless to say you were given a bit more leeway: you were allowed to go to the bathroom on the same floor by yourself, and be escorted downstairs to the lounge/kitchen by Boss and not Red. He was pretty adamant and avoided your eyes when you asked why. You ended up caving when he said it was for your own protection.

Whatever that might entail.

After Boss had finally dealt with the statue residue in the room, you confided in him how you were worried about the state of affairs back at home base. He understood, leaving you to your musings as he went to check with his brother. 

With nothing much to do, you began looking around the room, eyeing minute details such as a wall with more paint strokes at certain places than others, hinting at repeated damage or…

Your jaw dropped as you spied a tiny snow globe at the very back of Boss’ desk, behind what looked like spiked weapons and villainous figurines.

You got up and dragged the blankets with you to take a closer look, then picked up the snow globe with glee. 

A while back, about 2-3 years ago, Boss and you were having a heart to heart after the annual meeting and he confessed how the latest batch of minions were the stupidest little shits he’s ever had the displeasure of working with. It got to the point where he became so stressed out he lost control. Red had to step in during a mission that went awry to prevent Boss from losing face.

He felt weak. Pathetic even. Someone as awe-inspiring as him should have never let that happen. He looked at you, pain evident in his eyes. He couldn’t be like that. Not for his crusade.

Not for his brother.

You nodded, rubbing his back in sympathy as he laid his head on yours. A comfortable silence grew between the two of you before you asked him if he knew about meditation techniques. With two pats on his shoulder, you told him you would be right back and dug through the trinkets underneath your desk and found a tiny snow globe Elona had gifted you after one of her vacations.

Walking back, you handed Boss the snow globe. He looked at it as if you handed him the most vile piece of filth Red had ever consumed, and said so. Giggling, you shook the snow globe and told him to watch the snow fall. To not think of anything, and just watch until the final snowflake had landed on the bottom of the globe.

It took a bit of goading and a few more tries before Boss became entranced by the tiny snowflakes and began dozing off. You felt yourself smile in success under the helmet as Boss pretty much hypnotized himself to become clear minded.

The two of you sat together for a bit longer in silence— with you on your phone, and with him staring at the globe, blinking, shaking the globe, then repeating the cycle.

Red had broken the peace by calling his brother’s phone, asking if he should just teleport him without him and leave his car in the dingy, completely-not-suspicious alleyway they parked in… Seeing as though Red had been standing in this piss-stained alleyway for nearly 6 hours or however long the two of you had talked.

A few spicy words from Boss had Red apologizing, and then ended the call. Clearing his throat, he turned to you and stated that he needed to save his brother from himself. You nodded, still smiling as he got up and went to the door that was connected to the outside.

Your smile grew when you heard a faint “Thank you” before the elevator door closed behind him.

You sighed, eyes soft with patience as you placed the snowglobe back. Though Boss was very fussy about having everything immaculate, you’re pretty sure the absolute lack of dust and the pristine condition this snow globe is in means he’s been using it a lot more ever since then.

Though that does mean he’s been more stressed as of late, it still warms your heart to see something as small as this had stayed with him.

“WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM RED!?” 

His problem, thank you very much, was having an oversized ass muncher looming over him while he was trying to regenerate his magic with mustard. 

Stars above, he loves his brother but sometimes…

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?”

Red grunted, chomping on another packet like candy. “I heard ya the first time.”

“AND?”

“The answer’s no.”

He felt the front of his shirt getting lifted and he was soon eye-level with a rather angry skeleton.

“And pray tell, why won’t you teleport us to the Broker’s base?” His brother’s growl vibrated throughout his body. “What have you done now, cur?”

Swallowing another packet just to irk the spiky skeleton, he huffed in return. “Didn’t do nuthin. Just don’t have the means to do so right now if it ain’t obvious .”

He felt his brother’s eyelights travel across his face and felt a ping to his soul, panicking when he realized he was being checked. Paralyzed with dread, he watched Boss run up to his room before blinking out of his stupor and standing outside his door.

“I uh…  Don’t think it’s a good idea to go in here right now Pa-- Boss.”

The taller one didn’t even say anything before using gravity magic to kick the door right above Red’s head. The smaller skeleton watched in agony as the door flew out of its hinges and smashed to the other side of the wall.

Red couldn’t do anything but watch Boss shove his sweat-dripping ass then walk over to the desk with the helmet. His brother's eyes roamed over the helmet before turning to him, lights becoming pin prick needles.

Aw shit.

Chapter Text

What in the hell—!?

You didn’t know if there was an earthquake that was happening or if a bomb went off in the room next to the one you were in. After a terse few seconds of silence, you tiptoed to the other side of the wall and strained your ears if you could hear anything. You didn’t know if it was the insulation or what, but you heard nothing coming through.

Now you were just worried.

Using the blanket as a mediocre cover that had no benefits to you other than dragging you behind, you creaked open Boss’ door to look over, to see Red’s door missing and mumbling echoing down the hall.

Sneaking up as quietly as the swishing of the blanket would allow you to, you peered your head in to see Red’s door embedded into the wall parallel to the one you were at, and the two skeletons with their backs turned to you talking.

You cleared your throat, startling both enough to have red bones spike up in a circle around you. “Is everything alright?”

Red clearly had no time for you as he looked down at your appearance in pure disdain, while Boss looked like he was… sweating? How does a skeleton even sweat?

He scooted, with his back turned to Red, before the tiny one teleported away. Not without giving you another stink eye.

Come on man, you were the injured one here. 

This time, Boss walked over to dissipate the bones surrounding you and picked you up in a bridal carry. “Hey! What—”

“He’ll take care of it.” 

“What?”

Boss looked at you in his arms then forward as he began descending down the stairs. “Restrain yourself, your base is stable.”

Oh! You furrowed your eyebrows, how come you still couldn’t contact Elona then? “Can I go—”

“You can’t even walk properly without limping like a fool with eight broken legs.”

Okay, ow.

“Alright then. Can you drop by and see if you could pick up my folders from my desk?” you mumbled as he set you down on the couch and you watched him walk over to a wooden coat hanger. “It would put me more at ease if my documents were by me rather than somewhere too far to reach.”

And maybe you could tell me if there has been any foot traffic that resembled Elona there.

He shrugged on a slick, black trench coat before strutting over to you with his hands in his pocket. “Open your mouth, human.”

“Huh?”

 You heard something quickly become unwrapped before feeling your jaw locked by strong skeleton hands. Despite using all your strength to grit your teeth and push the offending hand away, you couldn’t move him a single inch.

“Quit squirming, human—”

You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence as those words echoed in your head.

Quit squirming, human.

Quit squirming, human.

S̷̘̤̜͉͛͒͘q̵̠͕́͗̏ű̶͚͓̳̣͑̇r̴̰̩̝͎̉̽̐i̷̪̊͋͜m̷̡̪̅̓̈͘ ̴̭̦̳͐̕m̸̬͔̒o̸͈̊̌́r̶̺̞͑̀̀e̸̢̧̹̊̉,̵̖̿̑̾͠ ̷͔͎̀̽ẖ̶̜̥̆̅̀u̵̙͉͇͈̔m̸̜̹͕̟͆̂̊͝a̴̹̫̝͐̊͂ͅṋ̵̋̓͝.̴̡̘̲̃͗̎

“Are… You okay?” 

You slowly came to Boss kneeling in front of you with your cheeks in his hands. “You did that thing again, Broker.”

That’s right.

You were the Shadow Broker.

Noone could take that away from you.

You nodded, scooting away from the skeleton and further into the couch. “Please use words next time and don’t just force things into my mouth.” You noticed you could move a bit easier, so you assumed he wanted to give you monster candy. “Even if it’s to help me.”

Boss continued watching you from his position before sighing and getting up. 

“Then take care of yourself better, Broker. I… We need you in top condition.” He crossed his arms before tapping his foot to the rhythm of a clock nearby. “Who else could we contact for a quick set of explosives with no questions asked?”

You gave him a small smile in his try to alleviate the atmosphere. “You could always just ask Blue.” 

“That insufferable, two-faced miscreant? I think not .” Chuckling, you relaxed your shoulders and made yourself comfy on the couch. “He would extort the goods for quadruple the price!”

“Oh come on, he's not that bad. He’s a sweetheart through and through.”

“... I see you didn’t mention anything about the price.”

“The hell are you two talking about now?”

You looked over in the kitchen to see Red digging through the fridge in search of… Is that mustard? Since when has he been back?

“About time you got back you lazy ass, where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” he looked at you for a fleeting second before going back to his brother. “Places.” 

“Well bring me to one more place, promptly.” 

You weren’t sure how, but Red sounded even more disgusted than Blue whenever Orange said a pun. “Aight then, where to now, your majesty?”

“Bring me to the Shadow Broker’s lair.”

You raised an eyebrow at the strength Red put in gripping the mustard bottle and the following flow that flew freely, falling far. “Boss, we talked about this.”

“I know.”

“And—”

“Yes, I know.”

“Fine.” 

He turned to point a finger to you before grabbing Boss by his leg. “Just wanna let you know that this is your fault, moron.”

You didn’t even feel bad when Boss smacked him across the head. “The hell did I do to you?”

Apparently you weren’t even worth the effort of a grunt because he just teleported away. 

Alright.

You see how it is.

Two can play this game, Red.

Wiping the revolting residue Red left behind on his pants, Boss carried the almost passed out skeleton like a watermelon and began looking at the damage.

He wasn’t lying when he said your base was stable. His Undyne could go ham and unleash all she’s got and the foundation would still be stable as if it weren’t ever scratched. Sure, the computers, desk, and everything not embedded into the walls were destroyed but the structure was still stable.

He skirted around, eying little flowers and roots that were growing from the cracks of the ground, taking note of every little thing possible on the way to your desk. There, he could see the dust pile Red talked about before falling apart and looking like the world stole away his sole joy.

Which… Wasn’t too far off to be honest.

Boss saw his brother’s HP drop to .55 which absolutely frightened him so he told him a half truth: the Shadow Broker was alive but hiding. He felt his bones shiver with relief when a second check revealed it to go back up to .9 after a bit more convincing. It wasn’t much and was still shit, but it was returning back to normal.

He deftly scooted the pile of dust to gain access to your desk and noticed an untouched pile of folders. 

Oh sure, like he was that much of a dumbass to touch that trap. Who did they think he was, Orange?

Covering his brother’s body with his own, he used his magic to take the folder and placed it on the floor a few meters away and waited for something to happen.

And…

Nothing.

He eyed the desk a little bit more to see if there are any other documents before reaching down and faintly touching the folder with a summoned bone. 

Okay then, what the hell? This has to be trapped, right?

Placing his brother as far away as he could, he walked back to the folder and faintly touched it… And nothing happened.

He couldn’t believe this, why the hell did you leave such important files easy to retrieve and untrapped? Were you an idiot? Of course you had intelligence, but common sense seems to have gone over your head. He rubbed his nasal bridge to fend off the incoming migraine. 

Flipping through the folder, he took note of a few names and sneered when he saw your faint doodles of the other factions. He did not, whatsoever, tear off the adequate drawing of him and kept it in his pocket. 

He then walked over to the wall Red mentioned and tried a few attacks of his own... To no avail. Frustrating as it was, he desummoned everything and walked back to Red. Maybe you had some answers on that.

Securing the files on his person, he picked up his brother, woke him up, gave him candy, then ordered him to send them both back. With a groan in his arms, he felt the familiar pull of space before standing in front of the couch, startling you.

“Fear not, human, I have personally retrieved your—”

And it happened too fast.

Vines exploded out of the folder and wrapped around him and his brother, both yelling at the rapid growth of the vegetation, knocking them both off their feet onto the ground. 

“What the FUCK!?”

Chapter Text

Ain’t this just peachy .

Red flailed as the vines twisted and enveloped his body. He would almost say the vines were swaddling him into some sort of leafy burrito and that it was almost comfy. At least the vines didn’t have any thorns, or else he’d be a bit more dust. 

He felt himself start sweating at the thought of such a dumbass way to die.

Rolling over, he watched his brother panic as all bones he summoned dissipated immediately, as if anti-magic coated the air. After a few more moments of thrashing from both bodies, they laid limp on the floor.

If Red was being completely honest, it wasn’t too bad. Maybe now he could take a nap without being kicked around by his brother.

But what he didn’t like was you staring at them with a blank face. 

“So. Planned this, didn’t you, you bi—”

“RED, DO NOT AGITATE THE HUMAN EVEN MORE.” He watched his brother do some flexible gymnastics to sit up and glare at you. “Was this your plan all along? Did the Broker set us up on purpose?”

Red didn’t want to know what that clenching feeling in his chest was when the Broker was mentioned, so he twisted his neck to look up at you. 

… He definitely wasn’t feeling any enjoyment from being looked down by a female that maybe wasn’t too bad on the eyes. 

Nope. That’d be dumb as shit.

Especially since Boss boned ya. Even if he says he didn’t. 

Stars forbid the taller skeleton to be honest with his non-torture related hobbies once in a while.

You watched in shock as the rest of the plant left the folder and engulfed both skeletons. Shock became relief when this meant that because the vines were thriving, your tree was alive and kicking.

Seems like Boss was telling the truth.

“Heyo human. Maybe answer my bro before I kick your ass?”

Ah, right.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, taking off the blanket and getting down on the floor. “Forgot to mention the mechanism that pops when my—” you coughed into your hand. “My boss’ stuff leaves the building without their permission.”

Boss grunted in irritation as you climbed on his lap to find the sweet spot in the vines. “And you failed to mention such critical details why ?”

Dragging your finger on the vine, you failed to see the tall skeleton’s rapidly glowing face and the smaller ones amused stare. “It should only proc if someone other than them opened it,” you half-heartedly mumbled, face getting closer to the bundle below his ribs. 

You felt him growl beneath your ministrations. “Then human, what exactly are you doing and why are you not slicing this refuse off instead?”

“These are biologically locked to DNA signatures. The whole thing should unravel at the very base with something from me.” You saw Red open his mouth at the corner of your eyes. “Don’t bother asking the technicalities, I only know that much.”

“Wasn’t gonna ask bout that,” he clearly lied. “How far up are you for this shit to recognize your DNA?”

You and Boss shared a look before turning to Red with a finger up to your mouth. “I don’t kiss and tell, Red,” you teased, smiling softly.

Boss gave a disapproving groan as a flash of crimson illuminated Red’s face. 

“Naw naw naw, you can’t just say that and not explain, right Boss?”

“Keep it in your pants, you disgusting slob.”

“Come on, though!” sighed the skeleton now rolling as if in a hammock. “The Broker calls us out of nowhere to pick up this chick, said chick almost died and caused nothin’ but headaches for the both of us, then the Broker—”

“ Silence. ”

You paused in your search when Red’s spheal finally registered. “The Shadow Broker up and what, Red?”

“Everything is under control, human.”

“No Boss, I want to hear it from Red.”

This time, you saw the smaller skeleton’s flush fade away into sweat as his eyelights bounced between me and his brother. 

Fuck him and his mouth.

Boss always told him that his nonexistent filter was gonna get him into trouble more than outside of fights.

According to his brother, the Broker did call Boss again after making the two pick your ass up like a package. Thus the call was proof of the Broker was fine, but probably not in the best of situations right now.

“... Broker hasn’t been responding to requests the past coupla days”

He watched your face go from confusion to denial to understanding then acceptance… Before chuckling .

“Gonna share with the class, sweet cheeks?” he grunted, cheeks heating up at the sound of your voice. “A topic this important ain’t nothin’ to laugh at.”

You shook your head as if dismissing what he just said and continued going down on his Boss, innuendo completely on purpose. “Sorry you’re right. The Broker is probably busy with other matters.”

He felt his eyes squint in irritation. 

And how exactly would you know that? 

Why would they use their blank check of a favor to help your sorry ass? Who were you to the head honcho? Why did you talk as if you knew them personally—

His eyes widened in realization. “Holy shit,” he breathed. 

“You’re sleeping with the Shadow Broker.”

Boss nearly headbutted you as he choked on nothingness. 

He whipped his head over to the single celled amoeba next to him. “WHAT IN THE HELLS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?”

“... Is she not?”

He so very much wanted to scream no but that would put him under Red’s light of suspicion, making him wonder how Boss knew such a fact. So instead, he faced you with a raised eyebone.“Are you?”

He wasn’t sure if you were looking at him with confusion, amusement, or a bit of both. You dug yourself into this hole, so you can dig yourself out.

You shrugged, neither denying or agreeing to his statement. 

… Where were you going with this?

“That stays between me and the walls of their base, Red.” He felt you prick your finger and press into a section near his pelvis. He didn’t know if he was going to give the creator of his coat one hell of a tongue lashing or a tip with how thick it is.

Probably both seeing as though he could still faintly feel your feather-light touches.

He breathed out in relief as the vines receded back into a tiny pea-sized pod and turned to see you stare down his brother. “I have half a mind to just leave you there, Red.”

An amused huff left him as he took off his coat. “Naw c’mon human, release me already.”

“What do I get if I let you go? I’m pretty sure this whole thing was on you.” Boss felt himself smirk at your conniving methods. Technically it may have been his fault that the two of them got locked in a trap, but there’s no way in hell he would ever admit that. 

“How bout I won’t f—”

“ Watch your language, fool. ”

“... Hurt you.”

You tilted your head to and fro as if thinking about his offer, before shaking your head. “I was thinking something else,” you smiled, poking the vines.

Boss paused in his undressment. You… weren’t propositioning to him, were you? 

He eyed the idiot wrapped up in vines and his imagination. Seems like he thought the same thing too, seeing as though there was a faint red glow beneath the vines.

Disgusting, he sneered to himself. He thought better of you.

Of all people, why not him? He was a skeleton of class and having someone like the Broker infatuated with him would definitely pump up his prestige.

It was completely that. Why else would he even consider such an invitation?

It has nothing to do with the fact that he secretly loved putting down his hard ass persona and just being himself near you. It has nothing to do with the fact that he kept the snowglobe you generously gifted him next to him at all times and substituted the story time Red once gave him for the snow falling.

It has nothing to do with…

He was broken out of his furrow when he saw you nod and reach for Red. “We wipe the slate clean.”

What?

Red mirrored his confusion as you began dragging your finger on the vine to find the base. 

“I don’t know what I’ve done to piss you off so badly—” (You bashed my head in!) “— And I want to wipe the slate clean before you wipe my ass out or something.”

Boss felt himself fighting against the embarrassed blush rising to his face. How dare he assume you were one of his brother’s harlots. That was extremely rude and condescending of him. He knew you better.

A lot better.

The little meatball grumbled to himself for a bit before sighing. “Fine, ya got a deal.”

Chapter Text

You took a deep breath.

The last thing you remember was unraveling Red from the trap that he probably triggered.

“How about this one, miss?” said someone as they thrust a dress in your face.

You eyed the dress critically. “Do you have something that isn't a string bikini with a long skirt attached to it?”

The lady holding the outfit took it away and shrugged. “I'm sorry ma'am, however, our patron strictly suggested outfits like these.”

You peeked your head out of the large dressing stall to see an arrogant Red winking at you.

“You pick somethin' out for our date yet, doll?”

You grumbled as you went through the dresses hung for you.

Boss pretty much forced you to go on a walk outside with him and his brother to 'assess your strength'. After a few more candies and checks, he said that most of the injuries were healed except for your broken arm, hence your cast.

Midway through another lecture, the tall skeleton was called into his work. He also vowed to disown Red if he didn't take you to see his 'wonderfully, wicked territory'.

“You ready yet? We gotta meet up with Boss at 9 but I still need ta' show you some spots and it's almost 6pm.”

You grind your teeth. “And what do skimpy dresses and 9-inch heels have to do with taking a walk through a park?”

“Well, ya gotta dress like me to walk with me in public, doll.” he chuckled.

“Oh really now?” You stick your head out of the dressing room and grinned.

“W-wuzzat look for?”

“Never knew you had such a preference in wearing such things.”

“I never—”

“Never knew needle-point heels and see-through skirts qualifies as your fashion,” You smiled as you took off your clothes to try on another one. “I do believe that makes you a very flamboyant stripper, Red.”

The curtains swung open. “SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE—”

He froze, staring at your cloth-less body.

You grab whatever was by your feet and (tried) to use it as a shield. “D-do you mind?” you stuttered, trying to shoo him away.

Instead of leaving, he walked further inside, letting the curtains close behind him. You shot him a peeved glare when he laid back on a wall.

“No, not at all,” He motioned you to continue. “Don't let me stop ya from dressin' up.”

Ignoring the cast on your right arm, you grabbed him and threw him outside the dressing room.

You laughed when you heard him string out one profanity after another.

Ah, you loved getting the upper hand.

You...

You little bitch!

How dare you throw him like some kinda ragdoll!

The only person who ever threw him like that was—

Red paused and clenched his hands.

...was the Broker.

He sat down on the nearest chair and stared at the curtains of the dressing room.

You were clearly someone important to the Broker. Why else would they send him and his brother to save your sorry ass?

Red felt an ache in his heart. “T-tha hell was that?”

As much as he hated it, he had to go get a check-up from his brother to find out why his chest felt so wounded lately.

Speaking of which...

You were taking your sweet ass time— which was something they didn't have.

“Hey you done yet— “

He watched you step out from behind the curtains and gaped.

Hot. Damn.

Red felt his eyes roam your body. The dress revealed just enough to leave onlookers wanting more, and the outfit hugged your curves so perfectly he hated it.

“Seeing as though you can't keep that jaw up means I chose the right dress,” you said, closing his mouth for him.

He let you speak to the shop owner as he tried to regain his thoughts.

It didn't matter if you were important to the Shadow Broker or not.

If you kept dressing up like that, he was gonna have to take you home himself.

Surprisingly enough, your outing with Red was pretty fun. He brought you to a number of bars, each with their own special themes.

You even met a few of his friends: One was a fish lady named Undyne and the other was a dinosaur named Alphys.

After having some drinks with the cute but feisty couple, Red led you to a club named “MTT Showdown”. Apparently there was a special appearance of a multi-armed robot so the club was filled to the brim.

This meant that you were constantly being squished into Red. Despite your disgruntled disposition, the angsty meatball looked like he was having the time of his life.

You couldn't take that away from him, so you let him have his fun.

Hell, you were even (slightly) charmed to see him kick the butt of anyone who dared approach you.

The hours rolled on by and you looped your arm through Red's to a fancy American restaurant.

“This place is famous for their BBQ,” he smiled. “Thought you'd like to meat them.”

You felt him freeze but you laughed. “Guess you could say not coming here would have been a giant missed steak .”

He stopped walking so you looked down. “O-oh come on. My joke wasn't that bad. ”

He wrapped his arm around your waist and returned to his sharp-toothed smile. “Nah, t'was perfect doll. Didn't mean to get all up in yer grill .”

You snorted as you two approached the receptionist. “Hello, Mr. Red and guest I presume?”

He nodded and a waiter led you to a table with a tall skeleton staring at you and Red.

Boss gave you a stiff grin as you both sat down. “I see you and the human have settled your differences, Red.”

The stubby skeleton shrugged in response and picked up the menu. As if Boss didn't just give his brother the stink eye, he turned to you and gave you a soft smile.

“It's also nice to see you look so very alluring, human.” He gave a sideways look to Red. “Very nice to know that my brother isn't a complete failure.”

Swearing that the sparks at the table were attracting looks from other tables, you grab both their attention by waving in a waiter.

You exchanged a few words with Boss and Red before you were given your drinks.

“So how was my territory, human?” said the tall one while sipping on a bright red liquid. You could only guess that it was either years aged wine or something else expensive.

You gave an honest smile. “It was lovely, Boss. I haven't really explored this area and I'm sad that I hadn't sooner. It was really fun.”

“O-of course it is! It is all under my jurisdiction after all!” he laughed, slowly turning redder.

You heard Red let out a 'pfft' sound.

“Dunno what you mean Boss— all you do is spend your time underground in that hell hole you call a dungeon.” He took a sip from a container that looked like mustard sauce. “And if you weren't torturin' you were actin' like a mom, cleanin' and cookin' like yer some sorta mai—”

Red shut up when Boss shot him with his notorious scowl of doom.

Jeez... You knew these two had a strained relationship, but this is getting ridiculous.

You decided to change the subject. “What did you two get for your meals?”

Boss gave an arrogant huff and patted his chest. “I, of course, ordered their finest, prime steak. As much as I hate the grease floating in the atmosphere, I must confess that their choice in meats... is adequate.”

“Self-centered bastard...” grumbled the smaller skeleton.

The taller one's head sharply turned to him. “What was that?”

“I said I ordered a hamburger. Don't knock it 'til you try it Boss.”

“Both of your dinners sound very delicious,” you sighed. “I'm beginning to have second thoughts on mine.”

“Hm? What did you order, human?”

You were about to reply but a waiter came in with three plates in his hands. He placed down a very exquisite-looking steak in front of Boss, a hamburger that had a million and one things stacked in it for Red, and you...

“Y-you got ribs ?” stuttered Red. You turned to him and pointed to mustard being squished out of the condiment bottle because he was gripping it so tightly.

“Yup. Ribs are one of my favorite things to eat.” You placed the white napkin around your neck to create a makeshift bib. “I do hope it was okay to get some.”

“Uh... Of course human! Y-You may get whatever you wish!” sputtered Boss. You took his action of avoiding your eyes as a signal to begin eating.

Half-way through the meal, you felt a small vibration from the table. You look up at Boss and Red to see them as rosy as the wine the taller one was drinking.

You thought maybe it's because they were a bit drunk from their beverages. Boss kept ordering more wine glasses until he said ‘eff it’ and ordered an entire bottle.

Meanwhile, Red abandoned his mustard drinks and began ordering one glass of alcohol after another.

You decided not to say anything until you swore the bottom of the table was glowing red.

You were about to bend down and see what was happening before both of the skeletons yelled, “DON'T!”

You quickly raise your head to see the brothers reaching out for you. If they were red before, the colors of their faces were multiplied a thousand times.

Boss sat back down, ignoring his brother's amused look. “D-don't you know it's rude to look beneath the table at an establishment like this?”

“Oh! S-sorry about that.” You sat straight up and continued eating. But now, Boss looked even more anxious while Red was grinning like the stupid idiot that he was.

O...kay?

The three of you finished your meals and stepped outside to head home. Being so late at night, you began to feel chilly.

“Here, human. I am perfectly comfortable with the temperature since I am so powerful!” He said, offering you the coat of his tuxedo.

You tried to contain your giggle as a gust of wind made him shiver a little. “Are you sure Boss?”

Instead of replying, he threw his tunic over you. Your heart became as warm as your body when Red did the same thing.

You turned to the smaller skeleton to ask him if he was cold. He shrugged and gave you a toothy grin. “Nah, tha cold goes right through me.”

“ RED!”

You chuckled as Boss was trying to lecture his brother, but was failing because Red kept throwing puns at him. It took you three about 15 minutes to walk back to their house and you saw a figure standing by the door.

“Stars damn you, Sans! I know I can break in, but no one's there! Are you sure this is the right place!?”

Bypassing the skeletons who acted like a fence, you walked up closer to the figure.

“...Orange?”

He spun around, wielding his phone like a weapon, but dropped it when he saw you and ran towards you.

You held out a hand to stop the skeletons behind you from charging in.

He held you, and picked you up in a crushing hug. You ignored the fact that he was crushing the cast on your arm, and instead reveled in how relieved he looked. He put you back down but didn't let you go.

“Leliana, oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for not picking up.”

You smiled and gave him a small kiss on his cheekbone, making him jump in surprise. “No worries Orange, what's done is done.”

“Uh... Y-yeah.” He let go of you when he noticed that you were wearing two jackets and had one hand stopping two skeletons behind you.

He flushed orange when it looked like he remembered something. In fact, he was about to ask you something until he noticed something white on your arm from beneath the jackets.

He nearly tore off both articles of clothing to reveal your beautiful dress— and your arm wrapped in a cast.

You saw a bright flash of orange and heard a sickening crack .

You turned around to see Boss crossing his arms and Red wielding a giant bone like a baseball bat. In the corner of your eye, you saw an enormous orange bone embedded into a wall.

Orange pushed you behind him and you heard a chuckle devoid of happiness. “You know, Boss...”

He summoned two bones, one in each hand.

“I always thought you were a pretty cool guy...You know, with all that power and all...”

He spun the bones like a windmill.

"But I guess I was wrong."

Chapter Text

You tried to yell for Orange to stop but he teleported behind the brothers and slammed his weapons down.

Red deflected the blow and side stepped to let Boss kick him back. You flinched when you heard a loud crunch from Orange's chest area.

You had to stop them before this got any worse!

“Orange! Stop! Boss didn't do anything! I— ” Your words were cut off when a hand covered your mouth and you flailed when you were pulled back.

“woah there kid. it's okay, it's me.”

Staring with disbelief, you pulled his hand from your mouth. “What the hell are you doing here Sans!?”

He gave you a small smile. “did you really think i was gonna miss the show?”

“Unbelievable!” You tried stepping towards the fight but he pulled you back.

“you're gonna get yourself killed if you go in there, kid.”

He laughed when you were about to yell at him. “do you seriously think he’s in the right mind to listen to an explanation?”

You paused and turned to the battle.

Even though it was two against one, Orange was easily dodging Red’s bashes while focusing on Boss as his main target.

With his left eye eerily glowing orange, he summoned two more bones mid-air to drop onto Boss while blocking Red with his original two.

“Well what the hell do you suppose I do then!?”

You took a step back when an evil grin crept on his face. “you just gotta scream out something else.”

Orange aimed for the taller skeleton’s head with a down slash but abandoned it to avoid a thrust from his sharp-as-hell weapon.

He knew that this was all one big misunderstanding.

He knew that you were in a relationship (or at least slept) with Boss.

He knew that the tall skeleton wasn’t the one who injured you.

But he didn’t care.

He wanted an excuse to bash his face in.

“Stars damn it! Let. Me. Hit you!” He yelled, spin kicking Red’s strike away.

He ground his teeth. He shouldn’t be feeling this way.

For years and years it had only been him and his younger brother.

Before becoming the CEO of a famous corporation, they were nothing more than common street rats.

Orange laughed when he parried a punch from Boss and angled it to smack Red away.

He spent every waking moment of his life making sure Blue was fed and happy. Whenever his brother was asleep or out of the house, Orange roamed the streets to gather as much money as he could- forsaking his own health for his younger brother.

He winced when Boss managed to block a hit and then knee him in the sternum.

It wasn’t until ten years ago when he was caught breaking into a safe house belonging to the Shadow Broker. In exchange for his unquestionable servitude, not only was he given freedom, he and his brother were also promised a seat in the high life.

How could he say no to that?

Sure enough, life was as easy and calming as a stroll in a park.

Orange tripped a charging Red, and swung him towards Boss like a giant wrecking ball, knocking both of them down when the tall skeleton tried to catch his flying brother.

But ever since you came into his life, he’s been a complete mess. Sure he may have hated you more than anything at first, but something about you keeps lingering in his mind.

He fell back and barely dodged a slash from Boss when Red jumped up and tried to headbutt him.

He wouldn’t say he… loves you, but he will say that he may care for you just as much as he cared for his brother. To the point of blaming himself for your injuries.

Orange summoned different sized bones from the ground to use as steps. Now’s not the time to think about such things— he had to slam his bones in someone’s face.

On around the 2nd step up, he saw you carry what looked like some kind of wolf-shaped item to your mouth. On the 3rd step, he saw you breathe in. On the 4th step, you screamed.

“I FUCKED SANS LAST NIGHT!!!”

Boss and Red froze as Orange fell on his ass. They all turned at the blushing human who had a short skeleton dying of laughter beside her.

“ WHAT THE HELL!?”

Oh god… Did you really just say it?

“w-well you got their attention kid,” breathed a chortling monster next to you. “might wanna say something now.”

Deciding not to bash the megaphone he gave you into his thick skull, you began walking to the confused skeletons.

“Orange, this was all one big mistake!” You said. “Boss had nothing to do with these injuries, in fact he healed me!”

You watch the tall, mentioned skeleton stand up with an arrogant huff while his brother tossed his bone around like a toy. Orange, on the other hand, stayed sitting down and continued to stare at you with disbelief.

“Please, Orange. Back away from both of them and come over here.”

You saw him slowly get up, making the other two skeletons jump back with weapons in their hands. However, he swiped his right hand to the side, causing all the orange bones in the area to evaporate in a magical mist.

Red dropped the blunt weapon he carried, but Boss still held a bone which was as sharp as a sword tightly in his hands. Both of them watch Orange shuffle towards you and place his head on your shoulders.

You looked to the edgy brothers and nodded. Both of them made their equipment disappear and walked into the house, dragging Sans by the neck of his clothes behind them.

Turning your attention back to the now laid-back skeleton, you pat his back in comfort.

“Those injuries… What really happened?” he mumbled into your shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly to him. “That doesn’t look like nothing much to me.”

Oh boy, here we go.

“I… I was walking back to my car and I noticed a bunch of people were following me,” you sighed. “Being the idiot that I was, I thought I could lose them if I took a detour through an alleyway.”

You cringed as he gripped you even tighter. “Why do you suppose they were following you? Was your identity found out?”

“I don’t know,” you said, shaking your head. “We did bring back one of those people from the group, and I’m guessing that Boss threw him in his dungeon.”

You felt that his hold loosened a little, so you slipped out of his grip. You held him by his sleeve and tugged. “Come on, let's go inside, Orange. It’s getting cold out here.”

Taking a few steps towards the house, it was all for naught when he pulled you back into his arms. “Orange? What else is the matter?”

“I’m sorry.” You were about to yell at him, but he muffled you when he squeezed you into his chest.

“I know, I know. You’re gonna say it’s not my fault. But I was the one who didn’t pick up,” he muttered. “ Here you were, getting in trouble while I was lounging on a couch with a freakin’ bottle of honey in my hand.”

You gripped his shirt and chuckled. “Well at least one of us had a pretty sweet time.”

He pushed you away at arm’s length and stared at you with an indescribable look on his face.

“O-okay that was in bad taste, my bad—”

Orange pulled you into him and you felt something clank on your lips.

Was he--

You felt something warm trying to push through your lips. Gasping in surprise allowed it entrance and you melted as the heated, slippery muscle entered your mouth. The taste was sublime— it was just like a sweet piece of candy you’ve had when you were younger.

But the way the tongue-like appendage danced…

You felt your legs weaken, causing you to fall. Orange caught you and stared into your eyes, cheeks slightly glowing.

“That joke wasn’t too bad.”

He laughed when you tried to stand up but fell again while stuttering. He picked you up in a princess carry and he walked over to the house entrance.

A few feet from the door, he kissed your forehead. “I may be sorry for a lot of things that happened to you,” he smiled. “But I’m never going to be sorry for that.”

Red watched what was happening through a second floor window.

Oh now he got it.

The damned smoker had the sweets for you— and by the looks of it, he had it pretty bad.

He laughed when your legs failed you but felt something irritating digging through his soul when he saw you getting picked up.

According to what his brother said, he shouldn’t pay attention to the pain in his chest. In fact, he specifically told him to completely ignore any feeling he felt in his heart.

“It makes you weak. Never listen to it.” He said, strictly.

But why wouldn’t he?

Sure he might feel horrible once in a while, but it felt like he was flying whenever he made you smile. Why wouldn’t he want to feel like that?

His soul dropped a little when he saw Orange give your forehead a small love-tap.

If there was any indication of the damned skeleton’s feelings for you, the look in his eyes was enough.

And it was irritating Red.

Grabbing a mustard bottle, he opened the window and waited for the tall one to try to kiss you again. Aiming as if his life depended on it, he chucked the bottle straight at his head, causing the kiss to turn into a painful-looking neck bend.

He chuckled when he caught Orange’s angry line of sight.

That’s right fucker.

This means war.

Chapter Text

It was late into the night and you were still up. Sighing, you laid down on the soft, black bed you were currently at, and thought about the past hours.

The moment Orange opened the door, you were lifted out of his arms and found yourself in the hands of Red. Feeling the angry spark between them, you guessed that the flying bottle that smacked the tall skeleton's head was his doing.

They began arguing but you were too tired to care for what they were saying. Looking over the stubby skeleton's shoulder, you saw Boss and Sans eyeing you with various emotions on their faces. A few you figured out were annoyance, despondency, and... envy?

When they caught you watching them, Sans gave you a lazy smile while Boss turned away and walked upstairs to his room. You felt your body glow blue and the arguing skeletons next to you stopped their fighting to watch you float up then settle on your feet.

You caught a blue skeleton's line of sight and thanked him— that must be his famous “levitation” magic. Sans winked at you before saying something about reading his brother a bedtime story then teleporting away. Orange, albeit reluctantly, also left when his brother called him on his phone asking where he was this late at night.

This left you with a rather happy Red until Boss came downstairs and said that even though you looked physically able, it's best not to risk it and should rest for one more day.

He was also the reason why rather than on the couch, you are now laying on his bed.

You reached out a hand to grab one of your phones. It was 1 in the freaking morning.

Ugh.

Getting off the bed, you looked closer to your surroundings. The room screamed dark royalty with everything either black or red. Sure you were happy with the décor -and how nice the velvet rug felt under your feet – but what kind of person has no windows in their bedroom?

...Well with the tall skeleton's personality and title, you guess it was understandable.

Still, you wanted to get some fresh air so you stepped outside. You weren't expecting anyone up this late, so you were shocked to see Red staring blankly over the balcony.

Hearing your footsteps he spun around, left eye burning, but calmed down when he saw you.

“What're you doin' up, doll?”

You gave a tired smile and walked over beside him. “Can't sleep,” you said. “I wanted to get a breather but apparently your brother dislikes windows.”

He gave an irritated huff while eying you in your outfit. Being as though the only pair of clothes you owned was a torn outfit and an evening dress, his brother had to toss you some pajamas for the night.

Even though the shirt was hanging off your shoulder like a giant dress and your pajama pants were folded roughly ten times, he was amazed to say you looked both ravishing and adorable .

Wait, you wanted fresh air. An idea struck him harder than his brother ever did.

“Hey, I know a place you can get a breather,” he grinned, wrapping his hands around your waist. “Cover your eyes.”

Damn, you had a nice figure. The moment you closed your eyes, Red teleported to his bed.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

He had to laugh when you stared at his bunk dubiously.

“This is the complete opposite of getting fresh air, Red.” You grumbled.

He pointed to the window next to his desk. “Nah, I wasn’t lying. I got a window right by the desk—”

Red’s heart stopped before remembering he placed the Broker’s helmet in one of their most guarded safe houses. Good thing he did or else you might’ve seen it.

“You should clean that up…” you trailed off, before your back went rimrod straight as if realizing something. “Red, can you do me a huge favor?”

Why did he think you were gonna—

“Can you teleport me somewhere?”

He knew it.

“Nope,” he popped, exaggerating on the p. “Got explicit orders from Boss not to do that.”

“Come on, please?”

Shit…  

Your begging flooded his mind with images which he was sure his brother would skewer him for.

He had to clear his throat before denying you again.

“Well, can you let me go then? I need to make a phone call.” He raised an eyebone at this, curious who the hell you would call at 1 in the morning. “Just business, you know how it is.”

“Well” he lulled, breathing a bit heavily. “Maybe if you ask a bit nicer…”

Uh...

You spun around and faced him. “Red… Please let me—”

He covered your eyes the moment something red was erupting from him. “ OKAY. THAS ENOUGH. DON’T OPEN YOUR EYES.”

You felt your orientation shift as it felt like he placed you outside of his still-missing door frame. Opening your eyes when you no longer felt skeletal fingers on your face, you turned to him sitting (whilst glowing) deep in the confines of his room. You were going to ask why but shook your head and walked to the bathroom.

Making sure the door is locked, you dug your pockets for your main phone.

Sans closed the book and sighed back into the chair he sat on. Paps was really hard to put into bed today. Maybe it was because he was going back into office in about a few weeks, but still.

He stared at his brother's bed and put his head on the blanket. Today... was interesting.

When Sans was called by a raging Range, he couldn't keep in the surge of laughter. He had to see the fight. Teleporting over and watching you scream out his name became his new guilty pleasure.

He grabbed the sides of his head and pushed further into the blanket. "oh my stars. i am not red."

The blue haze emitting from his face died down when he remembered the aftermath of the fight. It was pretty clear that Range was no longer afraid to tell you how he felt. That left Sans with a jealous emotion in his soul when he saw you being carried by him.

The begrudging emotion intensified when his best friend took your lips.

Thankfully, the envious feeling quickly turned into annoyance when he watched Red carry you instead.

What he didn't expect was to actually pick you up with his magic and place you down. He NEVER messed with the soul of another living being except when either killing them or...

Sans could barely hold in his screaming. Stars, he had to get out of here before he woke up Paps—

He jumped when his little brother's phone started ringing from beside his head.

Oh wonderful. Now he had to re-read that story for him.

He watched his brother groggily sit up and answer the phone. "Nyehhhhllo? The Great Papyrus here..."

The small skeleton snickered. He always loved seeing his brother so groggy because his usual sense of volume was actually like a regular person's.

He sat up when the stature of the tall skeleton went rigid. "...HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HUMAN?"

Sans motioned a few hand signals towards his brother, trying to ask him who it was. Paps answered with single letters, one at a time.

S-H-A-D-O-W-B-R-O-K-E-R

"what the heck are they calling for this late at night?" he grumbled.

"OKAY THEN. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO ERASE HER OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!"

Sans jumped in his chair. Woah, woah. Wait what? His brother didn't kill people. That was his job.

"NYEHEHEHE! OF COURSE I AM!" laughed the taller skeleton. "I COULD DO IT RIGHT AWAY! I'LL HAVE SANS PICK HER UP! WHERE IS SHE?"

Sans got off his chair and threw his brother a sorry look. Of course Paps didn't kill people, he hid them. But who was this girl they were hiding this time?

"OKAY! SENDING HIM NOW!" Paps turned to him and gave him a bright smile. "SANS! I NEED YOU TO PICK UP THE LELIANA-HUMAN IN ANGRY ME'S BASE FOR THE BROKER!"

Sans turned around to teleport but froze when his thoughts caught up to him. "wait a sec," he turned around. "what relationship does the kid have with the broker?"

Papyrus shrugged, got off the bed, and walked over to a closet. "I WAS TOLD THAT THEY WERE FRIENDS!" He swung open the closet door. "GO PICK HER UP IMMEDIATELY!"

Huh. So not only did you know Boss, but you were also buddies with the most infamous information broker in the city. When he said everyone had secrets, he didn't know you had some that were that large.

Throwing his slippers behind his back, he put on a pair of boots and teleported to the front of the house he was just at.

He hoped that he didn't just partake in the largest love triangle (square with Red? Pentagon if you count the Broker? Is Boss included? Stars, how many people had feelings for you?) of the year with the most dangerous person on earth.

"who are you, kid..." he whispered.

Chapter Text

You unlocked the door and peeked through the crack, making sure the red glow inside the bedroom down the hall was still in there. Yup, sure is. 

You could have sworn faint groans coming from said room, but you were too busy tiptoeing down the stairs and grabbing one of Boss’ spare coats on the coat hanger. You grabbed your manila folder on the couch then opened the door as silently you could, thanking how slick the door opened.

As if a beacon in the night, or due to the lights highlighting his skull, you recognized your ride out of here. You closed the door as discreetly as possible before stepping forward and accidentally stepping on a stick.

Instantly, he spun around, left eye eerily glowing in the darkness— a stark contrast to the darkness surrounding the both of you. You blinked to see him in front of you and the darkness fading.

"holy shit, kid. you scared me." he said, sighing into your chest. You smiled and softly pet the top of his head.

He looked up at you with a slight blue tinge on his face.

Whoops, were you not supposed to do that?

"i should be asking how the heck you know everyone you're not supposed to know... but hey, paps' is waitin' for you." He smiled and grabbed hold of your waist. "remember the deal with movin' between places, kid."

You nodded and closed your eyes, swearing the grip on your waist was tighter than before but ignored it.

Opening your eyes, you saw a tall skeleton dressed in a white tuxedo suspiciously staring at the shorter one before grinning brightly at you.

Wait a second... Paps didn't sleep in that, did he?

"HELLO HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TASK OF HIDING YOU FROM EVERYONE" He posed dramatically. "AND WHAT BETTER PLACE TO HIDE SOMEONE THAN IN YOUR OWN HOUSE!"

"What?" you gaped, as did Sans. You glanced at the smaller skeleton to see the lights of his pupils gone.

As much as you loved Paps, you couldn't go to your base and search for Elona while you were at his house.

You had to reason with him. "Uh... I don't think that would be a very good idea."

You had to keep in a giggle to see Sans furiously nod with you. "yeah paps. i think we should hide her somewhere else."

"NONSENSE!" Beamed the taller skeleton. "IT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS I'VE EVER THOUGHT OF, AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE THOUGHT OF A LOT OF GREAT IDEAS!"

Sans walked up to his brother, face showing frustration whilst slowly glowing blue . "paps, please. can’t we just use your usual methods? throw her in a bunker or something?"

"Hey!"

He nodded you an apology as Paps bore a skeptical look through the smaller skeleton. "NO SANS, THE HUMAN IS MY FRIEND THEREFORE WE MUST HIDE THEM AT THE BEST POSSIBLE PLACE: OUR HOUSE!"

Oh god, you can't change his mind.

"I SEE YOU ALREADY PREPARED FOR OUR SLEEPOVER, HUMAN!" He laughed, seeing your pajamas under the coat you wore like a blanket. "WOWIE! YOU MUST REALLY HAVE WANTED TO STAY WITH US FOR A WHILE NOW!"

You gaped as Sans tried to explain how bad of an idea this was. Ignoring his brother, Paps laughed as he posed for a non-existent camera.

"YOU MAY SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOR THE LENGTH OF YOUR STAY!" He gave a bright, glowing smile, further complimenting his slightly orange-tinged face. "I WON'T NEED ANOTHER STORY TO FALL ASLEEP, SANS. GOOD NIGHT BROTHER! GOOD NIGHT HUM- LELIANA!"

After the loud skeleton ran upstairs and slammed the door behind him, you took a gander at the smaller skeleton to catch him with his head in his hands. "Uh... I guess I'm staying here."

You watch him peek through his hands, and noticed him pause then saw his face glow brighter than you've ever seen before. A small lull crept in your conversation before he let his hands fall down beside him.

"huh. when i asked to sleep over at your place last time, you said no." His regular smile became a lecherous grin. "never expected that you wanted to be boned so badly that you'd be the one sleepin' at mine."

"Oh my GOD. "

Maybe this wasn’t so bad, you told yourself as you parked yourself on their couch.

While you were spacing out, Papyrus came back and gave you a blanket, pillow, and a hug before vanishing into his room once more. Sans also left when you threw the pillow at him when he winked, “wanna come with me?”

Soon enough, all the lights in the house became dark, and your only light source was the luminescent glow of the moon that was pouring through the window. Now’s about the time you could see if there’s any resources available to help you with the search.

Opening the folder, you dug through the papers to find the one with your top agents. You frowned, as one of the papers had a tear, as if something was ripped away, but you shrugged it off. 

Barely having organized the papers, your main phone rang, startling you. You raised an eyebrow when you checked that it was from an unknown caller.

You were sure you blocked every number on your phone except for the bone brothers and Elona. “Hello?”

“Ma…am…”

“Elona!” You nearly shouted. “Oh my god. Are you alright? Are you safe?”

You jumped off the couch, scanning the room for a safe to speak in since leaving the house would cause too much noise. All the doors were too creaky and heavy to move, so you wandered into the open kitchen, hoping the marble walls wouldn’t echo whatever you said.

“damn it,” grumbled the small skeleton as he tossed and turned on the bed.

Not being able to sleep was the norm. Since he always had to watch his brother’s back, his sleep schedule had never been steady.

Normally, he would blame his insomnia or LV, but this time, it was your fault.

You were just downstairs. In pajamas. Probably spread out on the—

“aaaaagh!” he yelled into his pillow.

Sans shivered and crawled deeper into his comforter when a light breeze blew through his window.

Speaking of which, it was pretty chilly this time of the year. Was the blanket his brother gave you enough? He knew humans had a weaker tolerance to the temperature in comparison to monsters.

He still felt kinda bad for leaving you hanging when he was out drinking his problems away. “won’t do her any good if her wounds started aching from the temperature…” he grumbled.

Clawing out of the comfy prison, he trudged through his mess of a room towards his closet. He cursed when he opened the door and an instrument dropped from above and smacked him on the head. He gave the black box a dirty look, slid it to the side, and began digging through the cluttered space he called a closet.

Suits…Books…In—“why the hell do i have an inner tube in here?”

He should really stop procrastinating and do some spring cleaning… Yeah, he’ll do that later.

After a few more minutes of digging, Sans spied a tiny, tattered jacket peeking through his trashy belongings.

“huh…” he mumbled, picking up the clothing. “i thought i threw this thing away.”

He let the blue snow jacket dangle from his fingertips as memories slowly flooded his mind.

Sans was originally one of the leading researchers in the world of science. The pay wasn’t that great, but he was fascinated at how almost everything could be explained through a series of letters and numbers.

And then the economy crashed.

Papyrus was still in the middle of his education, on track to become a leader who could fix this dump of a city they called home. As much as Sans loved to question everything, his brother was more important to him than his own life. This meant he needed money to support the naïve skeleton’s schooling.

Being as though they lived in a rather corrupted area, people were willing to pay to see their enemies vanish.

He chuckled, gripping the jacket harder.

That was when he started killing for a living.

Huh… He threw the jacket back and forth between his hands.

How long has it been since his first assassination? 10? 15 years?

He still remembered the feeling of taking a life, but he stopped paying attention to the numbers by the time his brother reached college.

Now that he thought about it, it was around that time when he caught the Shadow Broker’s eye.

In exchange for a protected home and Paps’ route towards a seat in the government, Sans became the Broker’s secret knife.

God, was the Broker a prick in the beginning. When they didn’t have a stick up their ass, he was pretty sure they were beating people up with it.

It was only a couple of years ago when they finally became someone whom he liked spending time with. As a friend. Nothing more.

Their puns were okay. Their robotic laugh was alright. The way they moved their hands was—

The kid also talked a lot with their hands. Huh.

He must really gravitate towards people who are active.

Sans chuckled, blaming his brother for that. He threw the jacket back into the closet and dug through to finally find a clean-enough blanket.

Heaving the thick blanket over his shoulder, he stepped out of his room and looked over the railing to see the lack of humans on a couch.

He teleported downstairs, threw the blanket on the couch, and looked around until he heard a quiet, yet frantic voice in the kitchen.

Though your back was turned, it was pretty obvious that you were on the phone. But it was dead into the night.

With an apprehensive mind, he blended into the shadows to listen in.

You weren’t actually someone out to ruin his brother.

You were a good kid with no skeletons in your closet. With the amount of time the two of you spent together in Grillby’s, he pretty much figured out all you had were good intentions and bad laughs.

He didn’t have to give you a bad time … right?

Chapter Text

“Ma’am… I knocked out a guard and stole his phone so I have very little time before I’m caught.”

Your heart sunk at how breathless, raspy, and dry the once-active tree’s voice has become. Why is she in this situation? Was the base actually compromised?

Did Boss lie to you?

You stuffed that accusation into the back of your mind and focused back on the phone call. “Where are you?”

“I’m still in the city because I would have recalled a plane trip. I think I’m in a storage house somewhere,” she whispered, as you heard footsteps echo through some kind of hall. “I think I also hear the sounds of ships and the ocean from here.”

You bit your lip in bittersweet joy at the information. “Okay okay… You must be at one of the ports then. Do you have any more info?”

You heard her breathe in before she paused.

“Elona?”

“Ma’am, please. Don’t come here, you know it’s a trap and that they want to kill you.”

“What!?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Ma’am, please. I can escape by myself! You know me, I’m a techie!”

“No!” You yelled, cursing at how your voice echoed off the walls.

“Ma’am.” You shivered at her voice devoid of both joy and tiredness— just plain monotone. “It’s alright if they kill me. My life has been yours ever since you found me.”

No no no! She’ll die if she starts losing hope!

“You’re not some kind of disposable object!” you pleaded. “You’re important to me! You’re family to me!”

You stood, breathless in anticipation of what she was going to say next.

“. . . Thank you, Ma’am.”

beep

“Hello?” You checked the phone screen to see that the call has been dropped. “God damn it! ”

You grip the kitchen counter in hopes to keep yourself up. You can't lose her, she was more than your secretary, agent, whatever .

She was your only source of joy for those years.

“you okay there kid?”

You involuntarily jumped, ready to throw the phone at the person behind you.

“who there. It's just me.” said the skeleton, raising both his hands in defeat. “sounds like you're kinda in a pickle there, kid.”

Shit. He heard you didn't he...

“You were supposed to be sleeping, “ you sighed, forcing a tired smile. “Come for a midnight snack?”

His normal grin stiffened. “no use tryin' to change the subject kid. i heard all of it.”

You stare at him skeptically. Was he bluffing?

“if this is the same elona you’ve been talking about when we were at grillbz, it sounds like she’s more than a little sister.” The lights in his eyes dimmed to the point where they were faint pin pricks. “so, gonna ask again: who's 'elona'?”

“My...”

What could you say? Co-worker would make him question your career. Friend wouldn't work because you told Paps that 'Leliana' was the Shadow Broker's 'friend' as well.

As if sensing your internal struggle, he reached to put a hand on your shoulder. “it's fine kid. just tell me one thing.”

You felt a chill run down your spine as his left eye began radiating a blue flame. “you won't hurt my family right?”

You smacked his hand off your shoulder in anger, causing him to teleport a few steps back in reflex. “I could never hurt Paps!” How could he even think that you would hurt his brother!?

“sorry bout that,” he mumbled, the blue blaze dying out. The lights in his eyes, however, stayed dim. “sounds like you need some help.”

His teleporting skill would certainly help you travel from one storage house to another much faster than a car. You nod in response.

Sans smirked, his pupils glowing brighter. “what do i get if i do help you, kid?”

“One favor for another huh?” you smiled. “I can pull a few favors from the Broker to get you some free stuff.”

His smirk dropped a little and he took a step back when you said the last part. “with that much hold on that person, it makes me wonder who you really are, kid.”

A soft, genuine smile appeared on your face before it morphed into a naughty grin.

You walked over to him, tilted his head up to you with a finger, bent down, and whispered. “I don't kiss and tell.”

WHOA. HOLD UP.

Sans felt his soul do back flips at your sultry voice.

“ho-holy,” he gulped, trying to calm down his stuttering. “holy shit kid. seriously?”

Were you seriously sleeping with the Broker ?

He felt his whole face light up when he began imagining various scenarios inside that little office of the information broker.

“ Pfft...”

Wh—

He stopped his train of thought when he heard you burst into laughter.

“O-Oh my god!” you guffawed. “You should have seen your face! You’re just like Red!”

Oh you little... Two can play at that game. (And what did you mean he was just like Red!? Excuse you!?)

With the dexterity of a cat, he took your hand and pulled you down to him. “well, lucky for you, i can keep a secret then.”

Sans smirked when you began blushing in his arms, all tension from earlier dissipating. “N-nice. That's good to know.”

He held you even tighter when you tried to escape. Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easily.

“i was coming down here to grab a meal, “ he said, staring at the fridge nearby. “wanna know what's on the menu?”

He watched you raise an eyebrow in question.

He tilted your head so you faced away from him as he wrapped your hair behind your ear, and let a malicious grin grow on his face.

“ you, ” he whispered, lightly biting your ear.

“SANS!”

He jumped, dropping you on the ceramic flooring of the kitchen.

Oops.

“p-paps, what're you doing up?”

Stars, please don't tell him that the tall skeleton just saw him do that.

“I THOUGHT I HEARD YELLING SO I CAME DOWN TO CHECK ON THE HUMAN!” Sans watched his brother strut over and raise you to your feet. “I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED MY LAZY BROTHER TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE ME!”

“well—”

“Unless...” The tall skeleton went into a thinking pose before his metaphorical light bulb ‘dinged’. “WOWIEE IS THIS WHAT PEOPLE CALL A SECRET RENDEZVOUS?”

“wh- paps no! i was just—“

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD BE HONORED TO MAKE THIS SECRET SLEEPOVER A MÉNAGE A TROIS!”

The smaller skeleton's jaw dropped before flailing like mad. “do you even know what that word means!?”

He took a quick glance to his side to see you redder than ever, but also laughing without a care in the world.

“WHY, YES! UNDYNE TOLD ME THAT IT'S A FUN SLEEPOVER WITH 3 PEOPLE!”

He was going to kill Undyne.

“i—“

“Well, he's not wrong!” you laughed.

“COME! LET US TAKE THIS TO MY ROOM!”

Sans nearly fell over in response. “papyrus no!”

“PAPYRUS.” The tall skeleton boomed, grinning as if he won an award. “YES!”

Chapter Text

Despite your complaints, Sans made a great point at how you would cause more harm than help if you chased after Elona on zero hours of sleep.

So now you found yourself in the giant sunshine’s bedroom with his brother standing awkwardly near the opened door.

"Papyrus, I am not taking your bed," you huff, crossing your arms.

"WHAT A SILLY IDEA, HUMAN!" smiled the tall skeleton. "YOU ARE MY GUEST IN THIS MÉNAGE A TROIS , SO ON THE BED YOU GO!"

You heard a loud smack from the smaller skeleton beside you.

"for the last time...paps that doesn't mean what you think it means," grumbled the skeleton into his hands.

As if he never heard his brother, Paps walked over to his bedroom door and closed it— sealing the fates of the ones inside.

You turn to your side to see the tiny skeleton no longer there, but rather sneaking over to the door.

"SANS," said Paps as he walked over to his closet door. "I WILL BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IF YOU DECIDE TO RUN AWAY."

He froze mid-step and gave a defeated shrug. "welp, i guess i'm sleepin' in here tonight."

Returning with a pair of spaghetti pajamas, Papyrus picked you up as if you weighed nothing and carried over to his bed.

"Dang Paps, at least buy me dinner first." you laughed.

You felt a chill run down your spine when Sans smiled at you with the lights in his eyes non-existent.

Don't say stuff like that around him please - is what you felt he was saying.

"WHY WOULD I BUY YOU DINNER WHEN YOU COULD EAT MY FOOD INSTEAD?" he beamed, dropping you on the comfy, race car bed.

You felt a slight pain in your heart. This guy is too damn innocent.

He climbed over you, taking the space towards the wall. "I DO HOPE MY BED IS AS MAGNIFICENT AS I, HUMAN!"

"It's the comfiest I've been in a while," you smiled. Honestly, the race car shaped bed reminded you of Boss’ batman-themed one. They were both very comfortable. "Thank you Paps."

"NYEHEHE! BUT OF COURSE! I'M ALWAYS THE GREATEST IN EVERYTHING!" he laughed, slowly glowing orange.

You turned to a shuffling sound behind you, watching sans lay down on the floor. "kay, goodnight folks."

You heard Paps give a small huff beside you. " . . . GET ON THE BED SANS."

He caught your line of sight and winked. " if I was the carpet, i'd wanna get laid."

You snorted when Paps made a confused sound.

Really Sans?

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT, BUT YOU'RE GETTING ON THIS BED!" Yelled the tall skeleton.

You sat up to allow him past you, but you collided with his arm the moment you rose up— causing him to land on your chest, and you making a rather feminine sound.

Oh god. Did you just-

You covered your mouth as Paps front-flipped off the bed to apologize. "I'M SO SORRY HUMAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I DIDN'T HURT YOU, DID I?"

You grabbed the blanket to cover your ever-glowing face. "I- I'm fine. I just-- "

"SANS, WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE THE ROOM?"

You put down the blanket to see an intense blue light glowing from underneath the bedroom door.

"nothing i-i thought i heard something," stuttered the muffled voice. "it's all clear now."

"WELL? WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING OUTSIDE? COME BACK IN!"

You heard a grunt and the rustling of clothes outside the door. Is he okay?

"i-i um... gotta settle somethi-ngh- down." chuckled the small skeleton darkly. "go to bed paps."

Oh.

While Papyrus stood around confused, you groaned into the blanket. So that's why Boss and Red—

"Ohhhhhh. . ."

Once everything is all done and over with, you seriously needed to do more research on the skeletons as MONSTERS.

"HUMAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOUR FACE IS SO RED I CAN SEE IT IN THE DARK WITH MY MAGNIFICENT EYESIGHT."

While avoiding his line of sight, you stood up to pat his shoulder. "Let's just head to bed, Paps."

You pulled him by his arm, pushed him on the bed, and laid down beside him. "GOOD NIGHT THEN HUMAN!"

"Sweet dreams," you yawned. Hopefully you'll be able to forget that scene ever happened.

Your eyelids whipped open when the bed dipped at your side. You spun around face-to-face with a small skeleton in a rather wet t-shirt and black pajama pants.

"whoa, sorry about that kid. didn't mean to scare you." he said, as you scooted over to give him room.

You weren't supposed to say anything, but damned if you let this moment to get revenge pass.

"So..." you drawled, sleepily. "Did you finish with whatever you were doing?"

You had to hold in your laughter when he froze with one knee on the bed. "w-well... i guess i did?"

"What'd you do to get like that ?" you smiled, pointing to his shirt. Your grin increased when he flushed blue.

"uh..." he laid down, still facing you. "i went out for a run?"

"Sans, you never run," you chuckled. "What made you disappear in this ungodly hour?"

He looked like he was about to say another excuse before staring at you aghast, jaw dropped. "you know what i did... don't you."

Quiet laughter was your response.

You reached for the blanket to muffle your laughter, but sans pushed it away and pulled your face towards his. "if you really need something to cover your mouth, i can provide you with something much better."

"W-whaaaa???" you stuttered.

"yeah, kid." he whispered, inching closer to you. "it's a much more ful- filling piece of equipment."

Oh my god.

"S-sans quit it!" you whispered, torn between anger and embarrassment. "Your brother's right there ."

"even better, " he chuckled darkly. "i've always wanted an audience."

" HOLY FUCK! " you yelled- causing him to smother you into his chest to quiet you.

"Nyehh...." grumbled the tall skeleton behind you.

You and sans held your breath as the tall skeleton rolled around for a bit, before settling down once more.

Both of you sighed, and you tried wiggling out of his grip, but he held you tighter the more you struggled. "dang kid, i knew you made some nice sounds, but you never told me that you were noisy in bed as well."

Oh my goooooood.

You felt a chuckle rattle through his bones before you felt a pat on your head. "g'night kid."

You tried slipping out of his grip, only to find yourself having a choice between getting free or bumping into the tall cinnamon roll.

... At least it was comfy in the stubby skeleton's arms.

Chapter Text

"Sans please . . . Just a little bit more."

He grinned, holding a pair of legs on his shoulders. "i gotchu ki—"

smack

"wha--"

Sans blinked a couple of times to find his younger brother's arm on his face. He gave a tired grin before looking down at what was being squished towards him.

His strained smile became brighter when you grumbled into his chest. He stroked your hair while his mind tried to stay away from his lecherous dream.

He wasn't supposed to be feeling this way.

Hell, he saw his BEST FRIEND kiss you.

He sighed, before scooting down towards you.

"sorry range." he whispered, before softly bumping his teeth to your lips.

He unraveled his arms from you and was about to get up before you wrapped your arms around him. "k-kid?"

Oh no. He didn't do that while you were awake, did he?

He felt his soul jump when you inched towards his neck.

Abort. Abort. This was bad. Why did he do that? He shouldn’t have—

"Thank you for the food..." you mumbled, sleepily, before biting his neck.

NGH!?!?!?

He jumped, pushing you away from him, and fell off the bed.

You woke up with a shock, as did the skeleton who you found yourself pushed into.

You heard a small 'thunk' and both of you looked off the bed to a blushing skeleton.

"Brother, are you alright?" asked the sleepy skeleton.

Sans grew a comically bright shade of blue when you made eye contact with him.

"yeah uh, i had a funny dream. " he said, covering his neck. "m-me and the kid have somewhere to go today so... gottagogetready."

He stood up, stumbled on his baggy pajamas, and, rather than teleport away, ran out the door.

You and Paps look at each other.

"THAT... WAS THE FASTEST I HAVE EVER SEEN MY BROTHER MOVE." You nod as you wipe a little saliva from your chin.

He didn't run away because you drooled on him right?

"GOODNESS ME! IT'S ALREADY 9 AM!" projected the skeleton. "EXCUSE ME HUMAN, WOULD YOU KINDLY LET ME PASS?"

You rolled off the bed to allow Paps to slide by and walk over to his closet.

"HUMAN," he said, opening the door. "DID YOU BRING YOUR OWN WEAR, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO WEAR ONE OF MINE?"

You left a change of clothes in the briefcase downstairs, but you were curious about what the skeleton had. "Why do you have female clothes Paps?"

"OH! WELL, MY FRIEND UNDYNE SOMETIMES COMES OVER AND TRAINS WITH ME." he replied, taking off his shirt and putting it in the closet. "SHE USUALLY RIPS HER OUTFIT SO I ALWAYS END UP KEEPING SPARES WITH ME!"

You nod while staring at his bones.

He was so different yet similar to Boss' bone structure. While Boss' towards pointy and feminine, his was more defined and muscular.

"HU-LILEANA, DO MY BONES FASCINATE YOU?" he asked, spinning around with a gallant pose.

"You're amazing Paps," you laughed. "Humans have skeletons too, it's deep inside of us."

You watched him glow a quiet shade of orange.

"THAT... SOUNDS VERY LEWD, LILEANA." he exclaimed, avoiding your line of sight.

OH JESUS.

You felt your blush climbing up your neck.

"I-I didn't mean to say it like that!" you stuttered. You jumped off the bed and walked towards him..

"Here, look!" you raised your hand towards him. "See how my knuckles protrude if I make a fist? That's the skeleton inside of me saying hello."

"WOWIEE!" he jumped, grabbing your hand. "I KNEW HUMANS DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS, BUT I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD SPEAK IT TOO."

What?

"CAN THE SKELETON SAY HELLO IN OTHER PLACES OF YOUR BODY?" he asked, eyes shining brightly.

You point to your wrist, elbow, then stretched the neck of your shirt to reveal your clavicle. "OOH! CAN I TOUCH THEM?"

"Um... Sure!" you smiled, eyebrow raised.

Stretching your arm up to him, you watched him feel your wrist and elbow. When he reached your clavicle, he stroked it with a touch lighter than a feather— causing you to giggle from the ticklish feeling.

"APOLOGIES LILEANA!" he smiled, making the touch a bit rougher. "SANS WOULD ALWAYS SAY TO NEVER TOUCH THIS PART OF A SKELETON UNLESS YOU DO IT LIGHTLY AND IN A BEDROOM!"

WH—

"H-hold on..." you bit your cheek to prevent yourself from laughing from embarrassment. "HE told you that?"

"WHY, YES!" he shouted, posing magnificently. "MY BROTHER MIGHT BE LAZY, BUT HE HAS TAUGHT ME LOTS OF THINGS!"

"Uh... Did he mention what those things are used for?"

He stroked his metaphorical beard. "I VAGUELY RECALL HIM SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT MAKING THE OTHER PARTY FEELING BETTER."

You took a few steps away from the hyper skeleton. "I don't think it's a good idea to follow what your brother said."

"NONSENSE! OF COURSE I'D WANT MY GUEST TO FEEL THEIR BEST!" he laughed, looking ready to pounce you.

"OH GOD, WAIT PAPS!" you yelled, before getting pushed onto the carpet with him on top.

"Yes Lileana?" he whispered, sultry into your ear.

You felt your sins (as well as goosebumps) crawl on your your back.

OH MY LORD. THIS SKELETON SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE QUIET.

"PEOPLE ONLY DO THIS TO PEOPLE THEY LIKE!" you yelled, hoping the skeleton would get the hint.

You watched him tilt his head with a wide smile. "But I do like you, Lileana!"

HOW NAIVE CAN AN ADULT MONSTER BE? WAS HE BEING SERIOUS!?

"...paps, what are you doing?"

You both look towards the door where a tiny skeleton was holding your folder in one hand, and a ketchup bottle in the other.

"I WANT TO MAKE THE HUMAN FEEL BETTER, SO I'M DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME LONG TIME AGO!" replied the tall skeleton.

"hey uh... when i said it made the other person feel better, i didn't mean just anyone. people can really take advantage of you, paps."

You heard the tall skeleton pout as he got off and set you on your feet. "BUT THE HUMAN IS A FRIEND WHO WE JUST HAD A SLEEPOVER WITH!"

"yeah but that doesn't mean you got HER permission to do that kinda stuff with." You caught Sans' line of sight as he walked over to you two. "did you?"

You felt kind of bad when the hyper skeleton hung his head. "Aww, it's okay Paps. Come on, get dressed and we'll have breakfast downstairs okay?"

His happy demeanor returned full-force. "NYEHEHE! AND YOU CAN FINALLY TRY MY SPAGHETTI, HUMAN!"

As you and sans left his brother to his antics, he crept up to you and whispered, "besides, kid. wouldn't you rather have someone like me do what paps was doing?"

FOR FUCK'S SAKES SANS.

Chapter Text

After your eventful moment with Papyrus, Sans tossed you a set of undyne’s clothes to let you change inside a nearby bathroom.

"alright kid, what do we have?" the small skeleton asked when you stepped outside the bathroom door.

You smiled at him while stuffing Boss' pajamas into a laundry hamper then pointed at their large, living room sofa.

Both you and Sans settled down before you started digging through your folder once more.

You pulled out a map and pointed to the coast. "Apparently she's located in one of the storage houses along the port."

He slowly raised an eyebrow as you pointed back and forth along the coast of the city. "... is that seriously all you have?"

Ow. Your info-gathering pride.

He shrugged as you cleared your throat. "well, it's a start I suppose."

You roll up the map and sigh.

Things probably got worse ever since she took that phone from the guard.

You blinked as sans lifted your face to him by pushing a finger under your chin. "don't worry kid," he smiled. "we'll save your sister."

You sat up and gave him a hug. "Thanks Sans."

"THE PASTA'S READY!" yelled a rambunctious voice from the kitchen.

You untangled yourself from Sans and gave him a peck on top of his head, laughing at his blush. "Come on lazy bones, let's go eat."

You and sans sat down around a small, round dinner table.

"HERE YOU GO HUMAN," smiled Papyrus as he placed a sparkling plate in front of you. "BONE APPETITE!"

You chuckled when the tall skeleton threw his apron at his grinning brother. "come on paps," he laughed. "that was a good one."

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SANS!" he responded, sitting down and sliding his brother a ketchup bottle.

Nodding his thanks, you watch the small skeleton tilt the ketchup bottle...

"On your food ?" you exclaimed, exasperated. "Why would you do that Sans!?"

Papyrus gave an indignant huff when Sans emptied half the bottle on the plate of spaghetti and placed the rest beside him. "there's already tomatoes in the spaghetti, what's wrong with adding a few more to the mix?"

"SANS I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU KEEP THINKING I USE JUST TOMATOES FOR THE SAUCE!" yelled Paps as he took a bite from his own plate. "IT'S VERY GOOD ON ITS OWN!"

You turned to the tall skeleton and tilted your head in question. "What else do you put in here Paps?"

"I'M VERY HAPPY YOU ASKED, HUMAN!" he clapped, pulling out a long roll of paper out of his pocket. "CILANTRO, CHEESE, ONIONS..."

You nod as he continued the list.

"...COCONUTS, STRAWBERRIES, APPLES..."

Wait what ?

"CHOCOLATE, JALAPENOS, GLITTER—"

You raised your hand to stop the barrage of questionable ingredients. You glanced at Sans to see his pupils gone, and (somehow) mouthing the words 'I'm sorry'.

Turning back to the confused cinnamon roll, you point to the food. "Maybe we should hurry up and eat. The food's getting cold."

The skeleton rolled the long list back into his pocket as you slowly rolled your fork through the spaghetti. Eying the little glitter sparkles, now you know why the pasta was so shiny...

Holding your breath, you took a small bite of the pasta.

! ! !

"HOW IS IT HUMAN?"he asked, eyes bright with expectation.

"Indescribable," you forced a grin and a few more bites. You'd have to thank Elona for your 'immunity' towards... specialized cooking— their skills were about the same.

Meanwhile, you could feel Sans' unbelieving stare on your back. "WHY DO YOU KEEP STARING AT THE HUMAN, SANS?"

"n-nothin' paps," he stuttered, chowing down. "thanks for the food."

Instead of dropping the subject, the skeleton leaned back into his chair and stroked his invisible beard. "IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL FEELING THE EFFECTS OF YOUR CANOODLING ON THE SOFA?"

Both you and Sans choked on a strand and looked up at the smiling skeleton. "WHAT?"

"BUT I DON'T SEE HOW YOU COULD TOUCH HER SKELETON WITH ALL THAT PAPER AROUND YOU TWO."

"p-paps," coughed the elder brother. "i wasn't doing anything with her."

"OH?"

You watched the tall skeleton get up from his seat to stand in between you and sans.

"WELL MAYBE BECAUSE SPREADING SHEETS OF PAPER AROUND WAS THE WRONG WAY TO DO IT!" he yelled, posing for an invisible camera. "LET THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!"

"bro wait a sec—"

"HUMAN, AS MUCH IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT, PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR FORK, PAUSE YOUR PASTING EATING, AND STAND UP!"

You complied with a raised eyebrow.

Almost immediately, Paps slid onto your chair and plucked you off your feet to place you on his lap. "YOU SEE BROTHER, FIRST YOU MUST MAKE SURE THE HUMAN IS PROPERLY SEATED!"

You tried to jump off, but you felt an abnormally strong pressure holding you still. "NEXT, YOU WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS TO THE TARGET'S EAR!"

Wha—

" Lileana, " he whispered quietly. "Please allow me to offer you a good time. "

You felt a chill down your spine when he blew the last words into your ear.

" welp, we're running late. see you later paps! "" yelled Sans as he yanked you off his brother and dragged you out of the kitchen.

"WAIT SANS! YOU HAVE TO ASK BEFORE YOU STROKE HER SKELETON!"

You had to contain your laugh when the small skeleton completely flushed blue and tripped on his own feet. You also realized the pressure holding you still was no longer there.

"don't you dare laugh kid," he grumbled, bringing your face to him. "do you really want me to bone that skeleton of yours?"

"GOD DAMNIT SANS!" You shouted after the laughing skeleton.

Chapter Text

Sans took a deep breath as you crossed off an area of the map.

You were seriously wearing him down to the bone with how quickly you chose the teleportation points.

But he wasn't the only one getting tired.

You were getting noticeably more and more distressed as you crossed off one area after another.

He held up a hand when he saw you open your mouth. "maybe we should take a breather, kid."

"No." you replied, rolling up the map. "We've only been at this for a few hours."

He sighed.

Boy, were you hard headed when stressed out.

"we searched through too many places way too fast, kid. i'm too tired to even move."

He watched you nod in acknowledgement. Thank god you were still reasonable—

"That's fine," you said while pulling out your phone. "We can just take a cab and you can just sleep in it."

He snatched your phone from your hands, placing it in his pocket. "kid, no. we're taking a short break."

" You’re taking a short break," you huffed, spinning away. " I’m going ahead."

Oh come on .

He grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him. "kid. 5 minutes." he pleaded, staring into your eyes. "that's all i ask for."

Sans jumped when you whipped your arm away and pointed a finger at his face.

"Last time I talked to her, she stole a phone from a guard," you growled. "Heavens know what they did to punish her for doing that. We need to find her now."

Okay, this was news to him. If she really did contact you and got caught, were you seriously going to barge into a storage house full of people with weapons?

"and what will you do once you find her surrounded by enemies, “he laughed, staring into your eyes. " yell them to death?"

He watched you give an arrogant huff and aim a finger gun to his skull. "Or a bullet to the head, smart ass."

A dark chuckle rose from him as he got angrier at how snarky you became. "well, do you even have a gun kid?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" you snorted.

Damn , did you get an attitude when you were stressed!

Having enough of your bullshit, he grabbed your shoulders and teleported both of you to a nearby park.

"What the hell Sans!?" you yelled, shoving him away from you. "I gave you no permission to teleport us here!"

Oh now he had to laugh.

"since when did you ever give me permission to teleport kid."

You sighed in defeat. "I thought you said you were too tired to even move."

"wouldn't you like to know." he grinned, his irritation from earlier dissipating when you groaned into your hands.

A quick survey of the area told him that it was around the time school ended, with the amount of parents and kids wandering about. He also took notice of a nice, wooden bench from across the park, and a nice cream cart from the other side of the park.

"hey kid, sit down over there,” he smiled, pointing at the bench. “i'll be right back."

"Not like I can do anything else... "you grumbled.

Sans took a step forward and teleported to a rabbit lazily laying an elbow on the nice cream cart.

The cart owner looked at the skeleton, then at you, letting a mischievous grin grow on his face. "Out on a date with the missus, huh?"

The skeleton turned blue and gave a nervous chuckle. "haha no." he said, taking out his wallet. "how much for two pops?"

"What's wrong pal?" asked the rabbit. "Got feelings for her but ain't got the heart for them?"

Sans froze.

Well...

"Sorry 'bout that bud." chuckled the rabbit. "Here. Just take these. They're on the house."

He looked up with an eyebrow raised. "aren't you gonna get in trouble for giving me free nice cream buddy?"

The rabbit laughed and pat the small skeleton's back sympathetically.

" Nah, it's okay. My boss'll understand. Here, take 'em already!" He smiled, handing the skeleton two wrapped popsicles— one pink, and the other one blue.

"Make sure to give her this blue one." winked the rabbit. "I heard the ladies dig the blue stick."

Sans flushed completely blue, stuttering while grabbing both of the popsicles.

While the rabbit broke into a gut wrenching laughter, Sans slipped a few coins into the shop keeper's pocket and ran away.

"damned rabbit..." he grumbled, walking up to the bench you were sitting at.

The skeleton watched you look up from your seat, eyes glossed over with defeat.

"cheer up kid, we'll save her." he said, handing you the popsicle with the pink wrapper.

Sans sat down beside you and smiled when you finally took the popsicle from his hands. "eat it to get some of your 'oompf' back," he sighed, ripping the blue wrapper of his pink popsicle.

Wait.

What?

His head whipped to his left and he felt his magic rise up to his face when you stuck a blue popsicle into your mouth.

He turned his head back to the right to see a rabbit wink and give him a thumbs up.

YOU DAMNED—

"This is actually pretty good," you commented, pulling out the ice cream from your mouth— a little droplet of blue sweetness dribbling down your chin. "Oops."

He tossed you his napkin while he stared straight ahead.

Don'tThinkAboutItDon'tThinkAboutItDon'tThinkAboutIt.

"glad you like it kid," he grinned, popping the pink popsicle inside his mouth. "nice cream's a nice way to cool off."

He saw you glance at him with the lights in your eyes returning. "...Good one."

Sans debated whether or not to throw another pun, but you looked satisfied with just that one. Stuffing the nice cream back into his mouth, the two of you sat in awkward silence as people started to leave the park.

"...Hey."

The skeleton turned to you, licking the tip of the popsicle.

He covered his face with his hand, barely holding back his groan.

"...Thanks for the ice cream Sans," you smiled, catching a bit of the melted ice cream with your tongue.

HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT OBLIVIOUS WHILE THEY'RE EATING.

"And...Sorry for being an ass."

He crossed his legs to try to prevent his magic from erupting during the serious conversation.

"yeah well... sorry we couldn't find anything," he grinned, closing his eyes to try to think of something else. "so don't worry about it kid."

He opened an eye socket when he heard something fall from your side. Looking down, your nice cream was the source of the sound; and when he looked up, he saw you gripping the wrapper of the nice cream.

You grabbed his collar, causing him to jump and nearly drop his own popsicle.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS NICE CREAM SANS." you asked, eyes alight with determination.

Raising an eyebrow, he pointed a thumb to his right. "over there at th—" his hand fell when he saw that both the cart and bunny were no longer there. "what the hell?"

"Sans, look at this.” you said while shoving the wrapper to his face.

Pushing your hand a few inches away, he noticed a few words scribbled neatly on the plastic: "Save The Girl" and underneath was an address.

"kid..." he sighed, biting the rest of the ice cream off his stick. "that's clearly a trap."

"Trap or not, it's the closest thing we had to a lead this whole day." You huffed, whipping out the map from your briefcase. "Do you have any other ideas?"

While you searched for the address on the map, he picked up your popsicle and threw both of the sticks in the trash. Afterwards, he looked over your shoulder and pointed to the red circle you barely drew on the map.

"i've been to that storage house before..." he mumbled. "... i think."

You jumped in glee and stuffed the wrapper into your pocket. "Take us there Sans."

Were you seriously thinking of walking into a place, knowing it was a trap?

"and what are you gonna do once you get there?" he sighed, hoping he could reason with you. "if she knocked out a guard last time you talked to her, i'm pretty sure there's gonna be a hell ton more people since they were alerted."

You raised an eyebrow. "Of course I know that. That's why we're scouting them out first."

He quickly scanned your body, trying to force out the lecherous thoughts invading his mind.

"kid, you may look good, but i doubt you can hide from people that well," he chuckled pantomiming your hips with his hands. "besides, you're uh... a bit squishy, kid"

You laughed in response, causing him to blush a little. "Why do you think you’re around?"

Oh.

Chapter Text

Arriving a few streets away from the destination, you let Sans go ahead of you to do a quick investigation of the safe house. You sat down and began loading a revolver from one of the Crusade warehouses you snuck into (they weren’t going to miss it). You weren't even through half of the barrel when you saw the skeleton teleporting back with a dark look on his face.

"What's wrong Sans?" you asked, wrapping a gun holster around your waist.

He shook his head and helped you on your feet. "it'd be faster if i showed you."

"Lead the way," you replied, letting him teleport you to an empty warehouse.

You shook off the nauseated feeling and leaned on a tall, metal shelf. "What the hell?"

"i couldn't feel any presence of a living being around here so it should be safe to search." he yelled from a different aisle.

...You didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

A few minutes later, you came across an unlocked door, motioning Sans to come to you. Making sure he was prepared, you placed your hand on your holster and slowly opened the door— to a room with a single chair in the middle and an old T.V. on the side. After a quick sweep of the room to make sure nothing was trapped, you and Sans found a remote with a note attached to it saying "Watch the Video."

Being even more cautious of the electronics, you ushered Sans out of the room, turning on the TV and clicking play from outside the door.

[[ Date: 01/15 ]]

"Sans, today's 12/19 right?" He nodded in response.

The first thing you noticed after the video static disappeared was—

"broker?" gasped Sans.

The video was somehow being recorded in your office, in a corner of some sort. An easily identifiable Shadow Broker was at their desk, writing a few things down, typing on a computer, and doing pretty much everything an information broker would do.

A few seconds later, a blurred out man with two other people behind them walked up to the desk.

You did a quick search through your memory if you ever met these people, but no... so the one at the desk must be Elona.

It was a bit hard to hear what they were saying, so whoever recorded this video knew someone was going to watch it and placed glowing, yellow subtitles on the screen. "I'm here for the info, Elona."

Who... Who was this? Why did they know who Elona was?

You and her made a secret contract to make sure no one knew who was at that desk when the two of you switched.

"so this 'elona's' the broker huh?"

You stayed quiet as more subtitles appeared on the screen.

"Here's your next target. The original Shadow Broker's off topside for a few appointments."

"'original shadow broker'?" asked Sans. You saw him eyeing you in your peripheral vision. You decided to not say anything.

"Thanks," laughed the man, taking a piece of paper off the table. "And don't worry, I'll help you with the coup d'état."

"What are they talking about?" you demanded, gripping the remote. The skeleton merely shrugged as the video faded into another static screen.

[[ Date: 03/22 ]]

"Honey, I'm home!" said the man strutting in like he owned your office.

Elona, unlike the energetic intruder, stayed quiet at the desk. "When are you going to help me take over? It's been 5 years."

Take over? 5 years? No, it can't be...

The man laughed in response. "Come now 'Shadow Broker', did you seriously think you would be able to gain control that easily?"

"I've given you money. I've given you weapons. I've given you EVERYTHING you could ever NEED to completely wipe out the three factions."

"was the broker seriously gunning for US!?" growled the skeleton beside you.

"I don't think you understand, sweetheart-who's-face-i've-yet-to-see." replied the man. "This kind of thing takes planning."

"Whatever," replied Elona, throwing an envelope at the man. "That contains your next few hits. Don't contact me for a while, the original has been getting busy with the rising crime rate."

You watched the man wave the envelope around. "That may have been my fault."

"What do you mean?" asked Elona.

"What better way to cause some mayhem and reap the rewards by letting a few grunts go wild with weapons?"

You watched the subtitles turn red when Elona stood up. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING THE PEACE!"

"Everything's under control," waved the man. "Besides, you've been a part of this since the beginning. Don't you dare lecture me about keeping the peace when you're the one who planned this whole thing."

Elona seemed to sink back into her chair as the man walked away, laughing.

You and Sans held your breath as the recording seemed to continue.

"... Was this really for the best...?"

[[Date: 12/14]]

"oh hey kid, look. this was a couple of days ago!" pointed out the skeleton.

"Hey there smoochums!" waved a man, who was followed by his two bodyguards. "I just finished screwin' around with the Crimson Crusade! Where am I going next—"

"I'm not doing this anymore."

The man seemed to freeze for a moment before regaining his posture. "I seem to still have some water in my ears from swimming in my giant pool earlier. What did you say?"

You saw Elona sit up and look at him straight in the eyes (through the helmet). "I-I said I'm not doing this anymore!"

"What are you talking about?" He replied, slamming his hands on the desk. "You've done this for years already. You can't just opt out whenever you want to."

The tree seemed to shrink a little. "Yes I can! I-I can't betray them. They're... She is my sister."

The man seemed to double over in laughter as he turned to his bodyguards. "Are you two hearing this?" he chortled. "This bitch thinks the original thinks of her as family."

He turned back towards Elona, causing her to flinch.

"You IDIOT ." he yelled, pointing at her. "The moment the original finds out that you've been back stabbing her for years is the moment you're going to return to that hell hole she brought you out of."

"No she won't, she'll understand!"

"Yes she will," he huffed, taking a step back from the table. "And besides, if you opt out now..."

He raised a gun to her face.

"I'm afraid I'll have to kill you."

You held your breath as Elona stood up from her seat. "You wouldn't dare ."

The man merely shrugged and carefully aimed for her head.

"I'm warning you," she replied as roots started breaking through the table. “ Don’t .”

You had to hold back from screaming 'behind you' as the two body guards surrounded her.

Suddenly, the screen went static and a loud bang echoed throughout the room.

"No!" you screamed, running inside the room and gripping the T.V. "She can't be dead! I need answers!"

You were about to punch the T.V. until the static disappeared to show a bodyguard on his knees. "S-sir... Why--"

BANG.

BANG.

BANG.

You watch as Elona turned to watch the poor body guard dissipate into dust.

"Now, see what you've done?" shrugged the man. "You made me kill one of my fellas."

"WHY WOULD YOU—"

You flinch as the second bodyguard stabbed Elona with what looked like a syringe. Quite immediately, the poor girl smacked the bodyguard away with a root.

"W-what did you..." she stuttered, pulling out the needle and crushing it under her foot.

"Just a little present to make this a little bit easier on us, sweetie." said the gunman, aiming his weapon at her once more.

"GET. OUT!" she yelled, aiming spiked roots at the man— which were cut by some kind of magic that was radiating from the second bodyguard.

"Such a shame I'm not leaving without you." shrugged the man as he took out a phone. "Team Alpha, move in as rehearsed."

And then the screen went black.

"THAT CAN'T BE IT. THERE HAS TO BE MORE!" you yelled, about to break the remote in half.

Sans walked up to you and held your shoulder. "hold on kid, i don't think it's over."

You felt your heart sink when the black screen disappeared.

Surrounded by broken computers, glass, and blood, Elona was laying face down on the floor. You bit your lip when the man, who looked like he didn't participate in the fight, kneeled down in front of her and took off her helmet.

"If I knew you were such a cutie, I wouldn't have hurt you this badly." he laughed. "But since you won't help me anymore, I guess it's up to me to finish that coup d’etat and become the new Shadow Broker, hmm?"

This. Mother. Fucker.

He motioned for the (heavily injured) bodyguard from earlier to pick up Elona's lifeless body. The man then tossed the helmet on the pile of dust he created by shooting his ally.

"We're leaving." he announced, patting his hands of dust. "I'm going to send the original a message, and I want you to place it here once I'm done."

Then the screen went static.

"...kid... are you okay there?" asked the skeleton. "you... you're this 'original' broker they're talking about, huh?"

You laughed.

No need to hide it from this guy anymore.

You watch him scratch his skull in your peripheral view. "... you still gonna save her?"

Your breath hitched in response. "I—"

RING.

Both you and Sans jumped in response to your main phone ringing. You took a peek at the unknown number then put the device next to you ear. "Hello—"

"-nything else you wanna say?"

What?

You pull the phone off your ear to see a video being recorded live— OF ELONA BLINDFOLDED ON A CHAIR.

"kid snap out of it! look over there in that window behind her! “pointed out Sans as your mind blanked out. " that ship is the same ship we can see from here! they're in this warehouse somewhere!"

You shook off the shock while Sans pushed you out the door. "SANS, WE NEED TO SAVE HER!" you pleaded.

"come on kid," he yelled while running. "whatever you do, don’t turn off your phone !"

You nod, half of your brain following him through an aisle of tall shelves and down a long cross-shaped hall filled with multiple doors. "they have to be in here!" breathed out the skeleton. "these are the only doors with rooms pointing to that ship!"

You begin breaking open doors as the video continued.

"I... I wanted to say sorry to her..." cried Elona. You refused to look at the video, focusing on kicking down the door you were facing. "I'm sorry for ever trying to do this. I was... I was stupid to think power was everything."

You heard a distorted, male laughter break through the video. "Well you're half right! You are stupid."

"these rooms over here aren't it!" yelled the skeleton in one of the rooms far from you. Your heart got caught in your throat when the door to the room you broke down contained nothing but dusty books.

“… And I want to apologize for not telling you the truth.”

Come on Elona stay with me, you can tell me everything from your perspective after I save you.

"Not here either!" you yelled, watching the skeleton slip into multiple rooms in quick succession.

You would have been impressed enough to comment about his skill if it were a different situation.

"Are you done yet? Recording things aren't cheap you know." said the distorted voice disdainfully.

You glared at the phone screen. You were going to tear this man apart, limb from limb.

"You know what? I think I'm ending this here. " he huffed, pointing a gun to Elona.

"NO!" you screamed.

"kid! none of these doors over here are the one! it has to be the one next to you!" Sans shouted.

You quickly turned to a rather modern-looking door, fiddling with the lock. "Open open OPEN!"

"Any last words?"

"move!" bellowed the skeleton behind you— blasting a hole through the door with some kind of laser.

You held your breath, squinting through the dust and debris of the blasted door— dropping to your knees when the room was empty.

"I guess I can’t cook for you anymore...” you heard her tearfully chuckle. “ Take care, sis."

BANG

Your head whipped to your phone just in time to see Elona's head whip back and her body slowly dissolving into dust, starting from her feet.

Meanwhile, a distorted laughter echoed throughout the room. You weren't sure if it was due to this heinous act or the fact that you were in the wrong place this whole time. 

Your ears were ringing so you could barely hear the words before the phone call disconnected.

"Eat shit and die alone, Broker."

Chapter Text

Sans ground his teeth as the menacing laugh echoed throughout the building. “that bastard.”

He couldn't bear to look at your slumped, defeated figure, so he turned around.

You had the right to blame him for Elona's death. He was the one who said to take a break, he was the one who… He sighed.

Picking up your scattered belongings and he walked over to hand it to you but, seeing as though you weren't responding to his motions, he merely bent down to place it next to you.

What the heck is he supposed to say at a time like this?

“hey kid, you alright?” He mentally slapped himself for stating the obvious.

“...Yeah,” you replied, voice heavy with animosity.

Whoa whoa.

He shivered when he took a quick peek at your face. Though your features showed indifference, the spark in your eyes was dark and maleficent. If there was one thing the small skeleton had learned from his experience hunting down people, it would be that there wasn’t anyone more dangerous than someone with that look in their eyes.

His eyes followed yours to your phone when your phone unwillingly turned on once more. “I wonder which pig should be slaughtered next? ”

  “Oh wait, I know,” continued the man behind the camera. “How about I wipe out the Crusade once and for all.”

The small skeleton chuckled. As much as he disliked that faction's ways, he knew those bloody brothers wouldn't go down without a fight.

“Hmm...nah, what about those high-rise bird brothers? Hiding their black market dealings under the guise of a company built on lies and deceit, they deserve to be shot down.”

Sans perked up and glared at the phone in your hand. The Esqueletos weren't just his associates, they were one of his closest friends.

“No, wait. I got it!” laughed the man. “I'll just kill that fool who's been in the government for far too long!”

“he wouldn't d a r e ,” growled Sans as he stood up from his position.

“Remember Broker. I may not have Elona anymore, but I do have eyes on your 'friends'.”

“I will have your seat. Try to stop me, and my eyes will turn into weapons.” he laughed, before covering the lens of the camera. “Toodles.”

Sans hurriedly pulled out his phone to call his brother, but was met with his answering machine instead. He tried to ring his brother again, but it was all for naught.

Shit shit shit.

“sorry kid,” he said before teleporting to his front door, dropping the folder before he left.

If that bastard did something to his brother, he's going to have to worry about more than just the Shadow Broker herself.

His stiff grin turned downwards as a blue glow began emanating from his left socket.

He was gonna have to worry about him .

You gradually rose from your kneeled position while dusting off your shoulders and hair.

“Ma'am!”

It's okay, you could work without Elona.

Picking up your folder, you stepped through the broken door and into a hallway with countless opened doors.

“Here you go, I made this for you!

It's okay, you won't cry. Elona wouldn't want you to cry for her.

You finally reached the door of the warehouse and placed your hand on the knob— only to pause and put your forehead on the door.

You bit your lip as you fought the tears itching to come out.

“Ma'am, did you fall asleep again?”

You shook your head.

You weren't sleeping. Damned if you were going to let that man steal your seat from right under your nose. Of course you were going to stop him.

But you were also going to get revenge.

Wiping your eyes of the few stray tears that managed to escape, you opened the door to see that the sun was setting. Your free hand reaching for your gun, when you eyed a figure sneaking into a nearby warehouse, then exit with boxes in one hand and a crowbar in the other.

Wait a second.

You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the light. "...Orange?"

"WHO THE HELL—" he jumped, spinning to you with a glowing eye. "L-Leliana?"

You watch him look at his hands and felt a slight smile on your lips when he stuffed the crowbar into his pocket, causing you to hear a rip and a curse.

He approached you while keeping the boxes he carried behind him. "Uh...What are you doing here?"

"That should be my line, Orange."

"Um...Just out shopping. You know. Groceries?" he babbled, whispering the last words. "What the hell dude."  

You let out a small chuckle and raised your hands in defeat. "Relax Orange, I know."

The tall skeleton sighed in relief and brought the boxes back in front of him. "So," he said, eying your lightly-dusted appearance but not saying anything. "What're YOU doing here, lady?"

"Mmm nothing. Just..."

Out to get retribution.

"Yo, you okay there?" he waved a bony palm in front of your face. Lowering his hand, you pointed a thumb behind you.

"Oh uh, yeah. I'm gonna just head home." you sighed, until realization struck you.

Sans was your method of transportation. To make matters worse, you weren't familiar with the area, so you couldn't just find a vehicle and 'borrow' it for your own needs.

"What's wrong, your ride left you?" you heard him chuckle.

Shrugging unresponsively, you took out the map from your briefcase and took a step into a random direction. "Hold up!"  Cranking your head to the side, you were slightly impressed at how fast he grabbed your arm while balancing the boxes with his other hand. He flinched when your eyes moved from your arm to his face.

"Why not come with me?" he said, releasing you. "I have a car a few blocks away. You can stay over tonight."

You raised an eyebrow when he mentioned the car. You suppose the rumors of him only being able to teleport short distances was true. He rubbed the back of his neck with a free hand.

"I-uh... I didn't mean anything like that. I mean, Blue's there too..." He said, before a light appeared in his eyes and he mumbled the rest of the sentence under his breath.

Ignoring the rest of his grumblings, you balanced your options. Either you walked around for god knows how long and paid for a taxi to bring you back to your base, OR you could go with Orange while planning your revenge in the safe confines of his home. You felt kinda bad for treating him like this, but no one messes with your life and gets away scot free.

"Lead the way," you nod. Replying with a smile as if he was reprieved from some kind of burden, he walked in front of you to his car.

A small smile cracked the cold exterior of your face when you saw him walking awkwardly due to the crowbar in his pants.

"Well, here she is," beamed the tall skeleton as he set the boxes on the trunk of his car and patted his leggings for his keys. Despite his brother's complaints, Orange was proud of the old silver-colored sedan. He huffed at how stupid someone could be to just abandoned a perfectly good car in a land dump. Sure it may have taken him a couple of days to get it working again, and sure his brother forbid him from entering the house unless he was decontaminated with countless showers first, but it was all worth it to hear the engine roar once more.

He became concerned when he patted everywhere and couldn't find his keys— until he felt the bottom of the crowbar through his pants.

Shit.

"Uh... I might need you to..." he flailed his hands in hopes of trying to not sound like an idiot. "Turn around."

Great. Good one big boy.

It's been days since you've seen her and the first thing you do is rip your pants in front of her. Now   you gotta pull off your pants WITH HER METERS AWAY , to pull out your goddamn keys.

After making sure no one else was in the vicinity, he shuffled into the shadows between his car and a building, and proceeded to take off his belt. He laughed bitterly. "I didn't expect to take off my pants in front of her this quickly."

"I'm sorry, what was that Orange?" he heard you call from the other side of the car.

He cursed when he was nearly tipped over by your response. Good lord you had really sharp ears.

"Nothing! Nothing! Just uh-- God damn it, fucking shoes --" he grumbled, sitting down to toss his sneakers to the side. "J-just don't turn around please!"

His irritation was elevated a little bit when he heard a soft chuckle coming from your side. His mind wandered as he wrestled his pants off his pelvis— almost biting his non-existent tongue when the crowbar hit a soft spot in his pelvis.

No one would approach this side of the port unless they had... unlawful dealings. I mean, he himself was there to steal- er... obtain certain goods some customers wanted. But of all the time he's come here, he's never seen you here. Okay, so maybe being the Broker's top agent meant that sometimes you had to do a grunt's work, but cut him some slack. He didn't want to mark you as a murderer, with all that dust you clearly tried to wipe off. You were just a really cute girl who had dealings with one of the most dangerous people in the city.

You yourself weren't a dangerous being, right?

Orange nearly cheered when he finally managed to unhook the crowbar from his pants and retrieve his keys— ignoring the fact that through his actions, his pants were nothing more than rags. Looking down at his briefs, he just had to wear the ones with the yellow duckies saying 'quack'. There's no way in hell you're seeing him like this. With a sigh, he picked up the tattered scraps of clothing and walked to the trunk of his car to grab some spare pants.

After making sure the boxes he... acquired were safely hidden in a secret compartment of his car, he looked through his small bag for those extra leggings. None.

"F--" He slammed the trunk, locked it, then opened the door to the back seats of his car in hopes to find what he was looking for. Pens, cigarette boxes, flashlights, rope, more cigarette boxes...

"Shit."

With a deep breath, he yanked open the door to the passenger seat to be met with flying ashes of a fallen cigarette tray. "SONOVA—"

"Orange are you oka--"

"YEAH. I'M OKAY. JUST PLEASE STAY TURN--"

"Are those... ducks?"

He slammed his head on the hood of his car.

You really are going to be the death of him.

Chapter Text

You glanced to your left.

Here you are, in the passenger seat in a skeleton's car who had a small cardboard box on his lap. You pointed at the brown package. "Are you seriously going to drive while that's there?"

Avoiding your eyes, he nodded- glowing slightly orange you might add.

"You do know how dangerous it is to drive with something on your lap."

To this, he gave a confident grin-"Don't worry, I got this"- And started the car.

Rolling down the windows, you let the cool evening air caress your tired face and closed your eyes when the street lights began passing erratically.

The ride so far had been awkward to say the least.

Many times did Orange try to strike up a conversation with you, only to be replied with extremely short answers or mere grunts. No offense to the skeleton, but you weren't in the mood to talk. You suppose it was fair to let him be when he sighed and lit a cigarette in response to your attitude.

Craning your head in a way that you could see the skeleton whilst still pretending to enjoy the wind from outside, you observed his features. His jaw wasn't as pronounced as Paps' was, but it certainly was not as sharp as Boss'. It was a mixture of both. 

Your eyes traveled to his neck, then to his shoulders, then you analyzed his entire being (minus everything below the cute ducks). Though he was wearing a shirt that looked like it was hastily buttoned on, you could see his clavicles from your position, and his ribs- thanks to the light peering through the opened windows. You knew what bones looked like-obviously, since you yourself had broken a few of them- but his were marginally thicker- if not a bit longer as well. It was... fascinating. 

You wondered if the smaller skeletons were the same way. Red was a bit bigger in terms of height and width than Sans, while Blue was leaner than both but muscular— as muscular as a skeleton could be.

Your head jerked forward and you nearly hit the edge of the window, only to be pulled back to your seat by a skeleton hand. "ASSHOLE!" you heard him yell.

Rubbing the kink in your neck, you saw that you were in an intersection and a car was speeding through a red light perpendicular from where you were sitting. You saw him turn to you with a worried look on his face. "Sorry about that, are you okay?" He said, raising a hand to your cheek.

You twisted your neck around one last time before nodding. "It wasn't your fault. He ran a red light."

"Yeah..." he sighed, putting both hands to the wheel again. You turned back towards the window as he entered the freeway, and this time, keeping your head off the sill. A few seconds later, you heard him whisper: "What the—"

Looking back at the skeleton, you noticed him trying to grab something from near his feet. "Orange… " you warned, your view bouncing between in front of the car and the driver.

"The box fell and I'm— " both of you cursed as he slightly veered into the next lane, causing the offended car to blast its horn. "Shit. I can't reach it."

Making sure there wasn't a cop in sight, you unbuckled your seatbelt and reached down his legs. "WHAT ARE Y—"

"Shoosh you," you mumbled. " You focus on driving. I'll get the stupid box."

"No! I-I'll just park. I can get it myself!" He stuttered as you balanced your head on his lap to try to reach the offending box. 

Curse this skeleton for having such long legs.

"Just shut up and drive." you growled irritably, ignoring how much he was fidgeting. "And keep still, I can't reach the box if you keep moving."

You heard a string of quiet curses escape from his mouth the longer it took you to reach the box. At last, you felt it touch your middle finger, and soon enough you managed to grab hold of it. "Got it!" you exclaimed, slowly raising your head.

You were immediately pressed down onto a certain pair of duck shorts, causing you to flail.

"S-shh. Don't move." He whispered.

You felt the car slow down and saw a faint flash of red and blue lights from above your head.

Of course, perfect timing.

You heard a pair of footsteps approach the car and an authoritative voice speak up. "Sorry to bother you sir, but we need to check your plate number."

As if you weren't head-first into his pelvic area, you heard him respond with a "Go ahead."

With how steady his grip on the back of your head was, you'd swear he was some kind of boxer. You tapped his leg hoping he could stop crushing your face and allow you to breathe.

"J-just wait a tick, he's almost done." He said, with a rough breath at the end.

You... Were going to ignore the fact that the ducks on his shorts were faintly glowing.

After what you swore was years, Orange finally sped away and let you go from his... suggestive hold. You glared at him while putting on your seat belt and throwing the box into the back seat. "What did I say about the box, Orange?"

Watching him withdraw a little bit and whispering a "You were right", you nodded. "That's what I thought."

A few more minutes of driving, he got off the freeway and entered a rather quaint street with two-storied houses. Stopping at one that had a small pergola in the yard, he turned to you with a flushed face and a wink. 

"Can't say I was sorry for keeping you there though."

"You're almost as bad as Sans!" You said, exasperated as he exited the vehicle and opened the door to your side.

You swore you felt him freeze and mumble something under his breath before smirking. 

He approached your seat and whispered "Oh I can be much worse than him." And kissed your cheek.

Your jaw dropped as he laughed and walked up to open the tiny gate in front of the house.

 … You should’ve taken a taxi.

Orange walked over to the gate, chuckling as you followed behind him.

He took a small breath and strained himself to look at you without turning his head.

Good, you were still flustered.

Still though, he sighed. He couldn’t believe he just did that.

And what did you mean by “as bad as Sans”? There was no way he was into you too right?

… Yeah, no. 

He’s probably just teasing you, like always.

After reaching over the gate to unhinge the door, he turned towards the lady standing behind him and urged her forward. “After you,” he bowed.

He watched you shake off his remark and stride forward as your (cute) little smirk dropped. He almost bumped into you when he noticed you staring at a little pergola with bench that was surrounded by a rose garden.

“Like the thing I made?”

He smiled when you turned around and raised an eyebrow that pretty much said  ‘you made that?’

“Yup,” he chuckled. “Blue won’t let me smoke inside the house so I’d always step outside to do it. Sometimes though, I’d like to sit down and relax while I light one, so I decided to build that. My brother was the one who placed those rose bushes around.”

You merely nodded in reply and continued walking down the stone path.

The tall skeleton rubbed his neck at your indifference and sighed as he put out his cigarette with his foot.

Stars effing Queen Toriel, you are so quiet. Orange frowned as you turned around to face him. He didn’t like that look. 

A smile suited you much better.

And if teasing was the only way he could make you smile, then so be it. He’ll screamfrom embarrassment after he’s done making you laugh.

“What’s wrong Orange?”

His mind raced trying to remember Sans’ failed pick-up lines. 

“Oh nothing,” he smirked, making a show of his eyes moving down your body. “Just admiring the view.”

You blushed as you stomped towards the door.

Ah jeez. It’s gonna be a long night.

You watched him jog in front of you and knock on the door first. Said door swung open and the first thing you saw was a tiny skeleton wearing a blue apron whilst wielding a wooden spoon like a sword.

“Brother! You’re late again!” cried the little one as he readied the spoon against the taller skeleton’s head. “What did I say about staying—”

You saw him freeze mid-sentence when his starry-eyes landed upon your visage “Li...ly? What are you doing here?”

“She’s gonna stay over for a couple a days with us, bro.” replied the taller skeleton he then turned to you while rubbing his neck. “I also kinda told him about your relationship with the Broker.”

You shrugged at Orange telling his brother your “job” but raised an eyebrow at his earlier statement. You thought you were going to crash at their place for only a night. What’s this about ‘a few days’?

You decided not to say anything when you saw him swiping a hidden hand left and right.

“You should have told me that she was coming over!” pouted the small skeleton as he smacked the taller skeleton’s arm with the spoon. 

Blue looked down at his apron, tore it off, then wrapped it around his neck as a light breeze coincidentally blew through the three of you.

“COME IN! COME IN LILY!” he laughed, as he majestically took long strides towards the kitchen (well, as majestic as a tiny skeleton could stretch his tiny little legs). “I, THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE, JUST FINISHED COOKING!”

You thought you heard Orange groan as he took off his shoes to put on a pair of slippers nearby. “I’LL SET UP THE TABLE, SO PLEASE LEAD LILY OVER HERE, BROTHER!”

You watched Orange grab, what looked like, a pair of fluffy, pink slippers and hand them to you. “Whatever you do,” he whispered, “If we’re about to eat tacos, don’t eat his pico de gallo.”

Oh God.

You took in your surroundings as you followed Orange to the kitchen area.

Structurally, the house was nearly identical to Sans’ and Papyrus’ house, but the inner design was different. Walking on your tiptoes, you noticed the rooms of the brothers have been flipped, and you could see whose bedroom was whose with one name plate being etched with the word “BLUE”. Turning your gaze down to the first floor once more, you noticed that rather than a couch, a red loveseat was stationed in front of a giant, flat-screen TV. Squinting, you think you also spied a few game consoles that have yet to come out in stores below TV.

Being the CEOs of a large chain of markets means that you have some nice perks when it comes to certain items, you suppose.

As you got closer to the kitchen, a sensational smell began to permeate the air. By sensational, you meant that it was nothing like you’ve ever smelled before; the scent of meat was being covered by this… unique smell of burnt tomatoes and cardboard.

“ That ,” whispered Orange as he pulled a chair for you. “Is the pico de gallo.”

You managed to not make a sour face as Orange sat diagonal from you on the round dinner table. After getting settled, the tall skeleton turned on a tiny T.V. that was embedded in a nearby wall and a small chef began placing empty, ceramic plates onto the table.

A few seconds later, a colorful arrangement of taco shells and wraps appeared in front of you, as well as some questionable side dishes. Blue sat diagonal of you and stared with bright, gleaming eyes. “I hope you like my cooking, Lily!”

In response, you reached out to fill a taco with the legitimately good smelling meat and—

“Here you go Lily! Try my pico de gallo!” he smiled, shoving a giant bowl of black goop in your face. You turned to plead for assistance from his younger brother, but all you saw was a tall skeleton being oddly focused with the television.

Orange, how dare you betray me.

“Lily?” squeaked the tiny one. “You took too long so I just placed my salsa into your taco!”

You heard a tall skeleton choke on his drink, but ignored him.

“Thank you Blue,” you gave him a strained smile and took your taco from him.

‘Well, bone appetit’ you thought, as you bit into the taco.

You wanted to assist Blue with the dishes but he refused to let you go near the sink after your visceral reaction to the topping. Shrugging, you sipped the stomach medicine and conceded.

Meanwhile, Orange laid back (uncomfortably) in his chair and spaced out.

Your mind was wandering on how to go down the road of revenge when something on the TV caught you off guard.

The news channel was on, and a reporter was standing in front of an old building that looked very familiar. Said building had police wrapping the surroundings with police tape.

“What the—”

All three of you stopped what you were doing, and looked at each other.

“... that’s right Debra, due to an anonymous tip from the public, we have reason to believe that the Shadow Broker is actually residing in this very same building,” smiled a man who looked like the police chief.

“I need you to evacuate as me and my team,” he waved an arm around at a large group who looked like a SWAT team. “Go in and apprehend this fiend.”

“This is so silly. Of course Brokey would escape before they could attack due to the news streaming this…” stated Blue as he turned to his brother with a worried look. “Right, Orange?”

The tall skeleton caught your line-of-sight in response. You merely closed your eyes and shrug.

That bastard on the tape must have tipped off the police. This is really going to set you back.

All three of you jumped when your main phone rang from your pocket. Taking it out, you looked down at the caller.

It was Boss.

You bit your lip, thinking about what he has to say. “I have to take this, sorry.”

You got up and exited the front door, leaving the door cracked so you could get back in.

“Hello?”

“BROKER! ARE YOU SAFE!? I TOLD MY USELESS BROTHER TO WATCH OVER YOU NOT—”

You brought your phone away from your head.

“Boss, it's okay. I’m okay.” you sighed, bringing the phone to your other ear because the other one’s ear drum felt like it exploded. “I’m safe.”

You heard him release a small breath and regain his poise attitude. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m at the Canary’s home.”

“Hmm… I suppose that’s better than staying out in the open. ” There was a small break in the call before he spoke up again. “Would you rather I pick you up and protect you at my home?”

“Thank you for the offer, but I believe I’m safe here,” you chuckled.

“As you wish." You heard him hum a little bit then sigh. " Oh, and don’t forget that since you’ve publicly lost your base of operations, all your connections have been cut off.”

Wha— OH SHIT.

While still in the call, you went through your contacts and tried messaging them— all to be given the “number not found” error.

Fffffffffuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk

“Broker? Are you still there?”

You walked over to the bench under the pergola Orange built and sighed into your hand when you sat down. “Yeah… I am…”

“Listen,” he said, voice heavy with sympathy. “I may have my hands full right now, but I’ll dig up what I can about your attacker— your sister killer.”

You jumped at your seat when he said the last part of the sentence. “How do you know about that?” you growled.

“I have my own ways about gathering information, Broker.” he said, arrogantly smug. “But don’t worry. I will assist you with the best of my abilities.”

You were debating on whether or not to be picked up by Boss just to smack that smugness off his face.

You heard a door slam and someone yelling at the other end. “I have to take my leave.”

“Okay, I’ll speak to you later.” You waited for the tall, edgy skeleton to hang up first.

“Boss?”

“... I understand things are hard right now, but be strong. If not for yourself, then for me.”  

"Despite everything, you are one of the least aggravating people in this world so I would be quite irate if anything untoward happens to you." 

You heard him clear his throat as if embarrassed.

"Call me for anything," he whispered. "My line is always open for you."

You weren't sure how much time had passed by the time you came back in the house. Neither skeletons commented on your red eyes and the dried stains on your cheek.