Chapter Text
These babies are loud.
But loud babies are strong babies, Omega reminds herself. So she doesn’t mind when they scream and cry, even when it hurts her ears. At least they are able to communicate, unlike the other babies that have come into Nala Se’s lab. Those babies only stayed for a few days before they stopped moving and were taken away.
But 9901, 9902, 9903, and 9904 – they are loud babies, strong babies…alive babies.
And Omega is their sister, their big sister, and she helps take care of them when they cry and fuss. Even when they pull her hair or spit up formula on her uniform. Only alive babies pull hair and spit up, so Omega doesn’t mind.
She wishes her brothers had real names, but Nala Se said that they do not require any other form of identification. It would clutter their charts, she said, and would be confusing.
Omega doesn’t think so, but Omega is still little herself, and Nala Se knows far more than her little mind knows yet. Maybe, someday, Omega will know and understand as much as Nala Se; however, for now, she will listen.
Omega does shorten their numbers when she speaks to her brothers. Oh-one, Oh-two, Oh-three, and Oh-four. And, besides, if she says the numbers fast enough, they almost sound like real names.
“Do not get attached, Omega,” Nala Se tells her almost everyday. “They will not be staying in the lab once their enhancements have stabilized.”
Omega tries to follow instructions, but whenever she holds one of the babies in her lap while Nala Se checks their vitals, or when they wrap tiny fingers around her own…the feeling grows and grows and grows. She can’t stop it, that feeling that glows warmly in her chest. Right in the place where Nala Se said her heart is. The heart is a muscle, Nala Se said, and it pumps blood through her whole body. And just like her blood, her heart pumps that wonderful feeling. She doesn’t know the word for it. Nala Se says that feelings are irrelevant to facts.
Facts are important, feelings are obstacles.
So Omega will keep this feeling to herself. She will let it grow when the babies cry loudly and she comforts them. She will let it grow when they smile at her when she makes silly faces at them. She will let it grow when she worries about what will happen when they leave the lab.
She will let it grow when they leave.
And when the feeling is all she has left, because the babies are gone, she will keep it hidden and safe until she finds them again.
Because this feeling, like babies, is loud.
But she thinks it is what it means to feel alive.
And holding onto it even when it hurts is what it means to be strong.