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“What aren't you telling me, man?” Kenji asked, treading lightly on the topic of Brooklynn. It was one thing to know the password to her phone… And a whole other to have hundreds of packed voice messages sent to her phone when she's… dead.
He asked warily, quietly with an undertone of worry. What was Darius hiding?
Darius blinked, taking a long breath through his nose and out through his mouth. He sunk deeper into the rusted crimson tub, groaning lowly. He didn't want to talk about it, especially with what Kenji was asking. He took another breath and looked at his brother before he looked between the boards on the ceiling.
He stared up at the stars that littered the black void of the night as he said softly:
“I was in love with Brooklynn…” It sounded worse on his tongue when he said it out loud, like a sour candy. Kenji blinked, eyes widening just a little. “What?”
Darius was in a war with himself, mentally screaming. He immediately sat up, pulling his hands out in defense. “I was.” He said quickly, eyes darting around nervously. “And I didn't even know I could feel that way since… Nublar.” Darius sat up, leaning against the tub and he looked up at his brother.
“Was it… when we were—” Kenji started, before Darius interjected. “No! No, not at all!”
“Dude, you sent her hundreds of voice messages like some sort of shrine— what are you getting at?” Kenji pressed on.
“Nothing!” And the dam broke. “It's just when Brooklynn died, I just missed– miss– her so bad I can hardly stand it. I feel like I killed her, Kenji!” He turned to his brother, wide eyes that were glazed over with salty water that Darius was all too familiar with. “I didn't get there on time and now look what happened! Why do you think I curled in on myself and drifted away from you guys? Because what, I betrayed you?” His voice wracked the cabin, cracking and breaking with each word. Kenji could do nothing but stare in shock. “I was so, so scared after I lost Brooklynn that–” He swallowed, his breath hitching.
“That if I stayed near you guys, it would happen to you too.” Darius said in a softer tone, pulling his bruised knees up to his chest and holding himself. “When she was staying at my cabin… It accidentally slipped. I didn't even mean to tell her. I guess I was…”
Darius looked at his brother once more, “Confused.” He waited with bated breath and when he saw that Kenji was speechless: he continued.
“I think Brooklynn was more of a sister. To me I mean.” He started, “And that… there were feelings since that fucking island for…” He let out a shaky, uneven breath. “For– Ben.”
Darius didn't let Kenji speak. “I was so scared, so confused about it. Not that it's– it's wrong or anything!”
“But I guess I just… Didn't want to accept the fact that they were for Ben. I brushed it off as admiration.” He leaned back against the porcelain tub, staring at the speckled sky through the cracks of the janky shack. “I thought it was Brooklynn, maybe it was at one point but…” He closed his eyes, tired. “It's always been Ben.”
There was a long moment of silence between the two brothers, Kenji was processing everything that fell from Darius' lips. He chose his words carefully.
“I’m sorry I blamed you for Brooklynn's death, Darius.” He sighed, kneeling and shuffling closer to the tub to lean against it. “I didn't know you closed yourself off because you thought you'd kill us too. What happened to Brooklynn wasn't your fault, what happened was a horrible tragedy that none of us could've predicted.”
There was a very long, awkward pause.
“You're still my brother, Darius. No matter what happens, we always have eachother.”
Darius turned to look at Kenji, a small, sad smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He held out his hand as a recognition of peace. “I'm sorry, Mr. VIP.”
Kenji gladly took it. “Junior.”
There was a sweet, calming silence where only the crickets chirped and some cars passed down the secluded highway. They bathed in the silence for a minute before Kenji broke the silence.
He poked Darius lightly in the shoulder with his finger. “You know, man, Brooklynn would’ve hated to see you beating yourself up like this. She always believed in you.”
Darius swallowed hard, his chest tightening at the thought of Brooklynn, with how he failed her, but for the first time, it didn’t feel like a weight crushing him. It felt… lighter, like a bittersweet memory he could hold onto without tearing him apart through guilt.
Kenji looked at Darius. “You don’t have to do it alone, D. You’ve got me, Sammy, Yaz… and you’ve got Ben—if you ever stop being a coward and tell him how you feel.”
Darius groaned, covering his face with both hands. “Can we please not make this an ongoing thing—”
“Nope. This is my new favourite topic,” Kenji grinned, leaning against the tub with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “I’m just saying, if I survived eating canned, wet mangoes for half a year, you can survive telling Ben you like him. Might even be easier.”
Darius couldn't help but let out an embarrassed chuckle. It was a quiet, unguarded laugh that felt good. It was good to laugh, it felt like it was the first real soft, and happy symphony for the first time in months. “Thanks, Kenji,” he said after a moment, his voice quieter but filled with genuine gratitude. “For everything, being here for me.”
Kenji waved him off, turning around and leaned back on his elbows against the tub. “That’s what brothers are for. We stick together, no matter what. Even when you’re a dino-nerd with questionable taste. Especially for men who eat bugs for a living… and had a terrifying growth spurt!”
Darius rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. “And you’re a Mr. VIP who can’t survive a day without five-star service.”
They both laughed, the sound echoing softly in the stillness of the night. For the first time in what felt like forever, Darius felt a little less alone, a little less haunted by the loss of his best friend. He wasn’t healed, not completely, but he was beginning to see that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to carry it all by himself. His friends were always there for him.
As the stars continued to shine above them, Darius whispered, almost to himself, “Brooklynn would’ve liked this.”
Kenji smiled, reaching out to ruffle Darius’ hair. “She would’ve loved it. And she’d be proud of you, D.”
Darius closed his eyes, letting the moment sink in. He didn’t know what the future held, but for now, he had his brother beside him, a spark of hope, and a sky full of stars to guide him. It was enough.
“So are you gonna stop being a coward and tell Ben you love him?”
“You ruined the moment, Kenji!”
⭐