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February 3, 20XX
It should have been a day of celebration for Ren and the rest of the phantom thieves. For changing the heart of the man who tried to destroy reality itself, for saving the world once again really.
But here he was. Laying on a mediocre juvenile detention bed, with a crappy mattress, uncomfy pillow, and thin sheets. Still unable to sleep. all because of the fact he got used to sleeping in Leblanc’s attic, with the knowledge of the cafe right below him and a more comfy bed.
His mind was racing too much to properly fall asleep, so he just stared at the vast expanse of nothing known as his room. His glasses were on the windowsill. While that same window let a light breeze into the room. Which sucked with how cold February was
And despite all that. the only thing on the raven boy’s mind, and had been in his mind for the past day, was the one person who never got out of that palace with his life.
Goro Akechi.
The brunette had always been an enigma to him. His charm was clearly manufactured to appease others, and his crimson eyes clearly held so much behind him. Even if he only got to learn a fraction of it.
(Even if he only got to kiss him like he had wanted once, the night before he would lose him for ever)
He could easily think of all the quiet conversations about nothing important at jazz jin. The games of pool at penguin sniper where Akechi would use his left hand to make it easier for Ren, the times Akechi would visit Leblanc for the coffee.. hell, even the time where they were alone in the bathhouse..
He won’t deny that he cared deeply for Akechi. Even to the point of it being considered a bit of a crush
And of course. Ren had been the one who metaphorically pulled the trigger to Akechi’s Even if it was by Akechi’s own request. Maruki’s reality was the only way the other boy was kept alive.. and he had willingly destroyed it, and any chance of ever being with Akechi
(He’ll never see him again, and it’s his own fault.)
And god, he just felt so empty as he thought about it. He didn’t even get the comfort of morgana, the tuxedo cat purring at his feet, oh god, did Morgana vanish too? Did he lose both his closest companion and a boy he cared deeply for on the exact same day?
He both desperately needs to know and is terrified of the answer. If they were both gone.. he wouldn’t know what to do.
The fabric of the sheets below him ruffled as Ren shifted onto his side, staring at the bland empty wall next to him. His mind still running with his own thoughts as the prospect of sleep still completely evaded him
what had vanishing even felt like for him? had Akechi’s second death been painful? Had he been scared of what was going to happen? Did he have an idea of what would happen to him after he was gone? What if that’s what he could have been scared of? What would have even scared Akechi?
The idea that the brunette boy had been in pain made his heart ache. Or that he had been terrified.. god, he wished he could have done more, so much more.
He could remember the day he first lost him all so vividly. The alarms blaring around him, the wall falling between them as crow shot the power box, a glove heavy in his pocket, a symbol of the promise held between them.. and the gunshot that ultimately took both the cognitive puppet and Akechi’s lives.
He still had the glove on his desk. The one thrown at them after their fight in mementos. Where they promised that they would always remain rivals.. to have a rematch someday, where the crimson eyed boy promised to defeat him..
He should have been able to do something. Anything to stop Akechi’s death! But he just.. let it happen, focused on his own emotions instead of what really mattered- and now he was paying for it with his own pain.
Yes, Akechi was the one who requested they still returned to the original reality.. even if it cost him his life.. But Ren should have been able to do more to save him from dying with maruki’s reality, to make sure the other boy survived..
He threw an arm over his tired eyes before realizing.. he had been crying this whole time. He hadn’t even realized it until he felt the recognizable dampness where he put his arm, and with a hitch he just let himself sob.
He curled up into himself slightly, holding his knees to his chest as he let out soft sobs. One hand was held to his mouth to muffle his cries. He didn’t want anyone here to be able to hear what him sobbing, he already had a rough time here and he didn’t want to make it worse
It had been the first time he had properly cried in.. God knows how long, and so he just let himself sob. Sob for the life was lost, for the love he had never gotten to show.
Ren didn’t know how long he sobbed for. could have been a few minutes, could have been a few hours. All he knows was that his grey eyes had released enough tears to nearly soak the pillow under him.
And slowly.. Ren started to feel a bit better, sure, it wasn’t anywhere close to being okay.. but it was a little better. It atleast let his stormy eyes start to drift shut, the sobbing and thinking about Akechi having drained the energy from him.
But even as the raven haired boy drifted into sleep. He still wished he would see Goro Akechi in his dreams, to get a chance to see him again for a little while.