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In a lonely planet, far from the intricacies and the struggle of power inside the marble halls of the IPC’s headquarters, so far that this planet is nigh-unreachable and unconnected if not for a single line of spaceships that once per amber era passes near it to refuel on a certain type of now almost useless cosmic particle.
In this lonely planet, a huge forest sits undisturbed, a common sight, no strange phenomena or peculiarity, and there are no humans either (or any equivalent) nearby, so every tree can sleep safe knowing it won't be sawed off in the middle of the night to produce some sad toilet paper.
In this normal forest a muddy pond gurgles quietly, and inside that a brown frog.
The brown frog eats a fly.
Nothing special right? Nothing much to tell, not for you readers nor for the frog. You’re pretty similar right now, you and the frog I mean. It doesn't know better, it eats up the fly with nae a care in the world, and usually it wouldn't matter. Except for the fly of course, it’s family would be really sad.
That said, the brown frog eats the fly.
And you readers are here, who knows what might happen next.
After the frog ate the fly the nightly breeze kept on blowing and gushing around, cooling the whole place. The sky kept on hanging high, bright by the light of the innumerable stars yet dark by the voracity of the void that sits between them.
A grey door opened in the middle of thin air.
But the frog didn’t peek inside, it didn’t care, it didn’t need to care.
the door closed.
Only to reappear in another forest on a casual planet.
But this time a lonely human wandering about, took the place of the frog and got near the door, only to open it a few seconds later, or better, he didn’t actually open it, he didn’t have the time for that, the door was a rip in the fabric of space time and sucked him inside within a microsecond.
The frog wasn’t so dumb it seems.
A vortex of absurd colors and improbable shapes swirls around the human, swatting him around the tear in space-time like a poor and small fish in a vast ocean brimming with the strongest currents.
The vortex as if disgusted spits the human out. Revealing a new scene.
The human founds himself in a bright and luminous space, surrounded by marble columns, the aesthetic isn’t homogeneous and it looks like if a child had played with different colored pieces of clay only to create an object that is whole and solid, but filled with different colors and consistencies, beautiful but almost unnerving.
There seems to be walls yet don't, the floor too seems to be transparent but opaque at the same time.
if one cared (and knew) enough to check they could notice that in a corner the style of the amatuscans could be seen, in another the organic fashion of the beelomites (that consists mainly of mud and strange bio-domes made of some sort of strange white glass) while at the center the eccentric designs coming from the widely known penacony, a place filled with… everything one can imagine (and buy of course) actually.
The human was shocked, and when he tried to search for the exit he was met with a melodious sound made from millions if not trillions of voices, it talked in tongues and hands, with colors and air. A language that even the newest synesthesia beacon couldn’t traduce…
For the divine can’t be grasped by mortals.
The speaker was so kind as to add a voice that the little and fearful human could understand though, so they started to get the messages.
“Dearest guests, from the unicellular yeast that lives in the peel of that grape over there, to the three dimensional being that just joined, to the divinities and the laws of the universe that fills it with sense and harmony…
Welcome to you all! Welcome to the latest meeting to foster harmony and to preserve the stability of the universe!”
“Before the party starts, remember to put your coats, external exoskeletons and whatever may be of hindrance in the appropriate places. Take out your wallets and remember to tip the bartender, and of course, as always, have fun!”
After that somewhat strange announcement a somber melody started to fill the scene, which now looked like the entrance lobby of a magnificent manor. Filled with delicate and refined foods, elegant paintings and a soft smell of cigar and even an evanescent floral note.
More and more entities came and flooded the place, everyone of them distinct in their own ways, someone looked disgruntled and almost angry to be there, some other didn’t have a face to begin with, a particular one was grinning with an eerie big smile for the whole introduction and some didn’t even have a body and could only be recognised because of their “color” or even a “vague and intimidating feeling” as if calpestating the feet of someone that you couldn’t see.
The music changed abruptly, and the entity that was behind a techno dj set, somehow a universal constant in the universe’s civilization's technological progress roadmap, started talking again in a myriad of ways and in an infinity of wavelengths.
“Dear guests, again welcome all of you all to this magic place, where we put aside our differences to sway to the music, and make the universe a little more stable…”
A strong and loud rhythm started beating hard, the drums and the violins fused together and the entity spoke again:
“Tonight’s music may be a bit harsh for three dimensional beings, but it'll be an educative experience, though even /we/ have no idea as to how /you/ arrived here”
Needless to say that the human was scared like never before, as if he saw ghosts or an eldritch monster… Well, he actually did, Steve near the bathroom was dancing like crazy to the irregular beat, and the white cloth wasn’t really doing a good job at hiding his paranormal features.
Also, almost all of the presents could be called eldritch beings to some degree.
But the scare didn’t last long, ad the human started to slowly accept the situation, yet still scared of the bright dancefloor ( that was at the center of the non-euclidean place), so xipe themselves had to intervene, slightly taking his hands and starting to ease the scared human into dancing by singing a catchy song, and at a certain point even by mocking him…
While xipe and the human were locked in a dance lesson and in a seminar to increase the human’s confidence; a certain divine entity was sitting at the bar counter, waiting for an old friend to show up.
“You finally arrived! I was getting so bored while waiting for this occasion! I’ll offer the first round!”
An orange floating mask floated around while wearing a joyful expression, as if crying, while another danced at the opposite side, swaying gently and slowly, as if at a funeral.
“I missed you so much! It’s been so much time since our last tea party! And so many new things have happened since then! And Aha is going to tell you everything!”
The opposing entity, which by now had long since seated near the other divine being, calmly nodded their ceramic head.
“I know, but please calm down, it’s been so long since my last outing and all this… disorder and chaos is really getting on my nerves… “
“Why don’t you offer the second round too aha?”
‘That’s my friend! Now I finally recognize you ena, I thought you had lost your spark!!’
“Never. But these drinks are too light I fear… I may get broke before I start feeling something.”
‘ worry not! I’m literally made of money, and xipe will accept some credit…maybe?’
While the two aeons kept talking about their affairs, catching up with lost memories and making the poor bartender go crazy with some mad orders, a couple of beings was dancing in a corner of the ballroom.
The dance seemed totally unfit to this kind of music at first glance, but after a more careful check, one could sense that from the enormous and absurd stereo boxes, a delightful and slow music was wrapping the two dancing partners, almost as if isolating them from the colorful songs and from the gazes of others…
“...”
“I know, it’s been too long since the last party xipe held”
“...”
“Yes, did you notice? I actually practiced a lot for this dance, i didn’t want to look bad in front of all the other guests”
A mocking breeze comes from nowhere, carrying a sweet scent and a metallic dust, almost as if smelling of almonds and sand.
“...”
“Oh stop, you’ll make me blush!”
A rainbow of lights is conjured from one of the entities, painting them in a wide array of red, purple. And pinkish hues. After noticing that their perfect dance steps faltered for a microsecond, and a flurry of blue bubbles containing sweet memories flooded the corner… someone is having a romantic time huh. Better not disturb them, no one would want to get under their hammer.
Changing scene, an already drunken god started talking about everything that will ever come and that has already happened, confusing the curious crowd of insane beings that gathered to listen, some even taking irrational notes on some device, if fleming were here he would have already opened another branch of the ipc just to buy these notes…
After hearing that god blabbering about things that shan’t be said another starts running with a drink to shut their mouth for good.
Oh.
They don’t appear to have a mouth.
How did they even get drunk???
Either way, a gigantic snake started eating their way through the (really expensive) buffet, without even asking if it was all included in the entry price, if it even there was one of course.
Of course no one would just stand and watch as their dinner/lunch/universal-standard-time-meal gets eaten by a leviathan, and so a fierce fight begins…
Not even a second pass and a fierce glare from xipe can be perceived, almost freezing the two opponents alive, but they don’t want to give up their food, so a new method must be chosen to get a winner…
After a bit of consultation and a bit of guidance from a really wasted aha, the two came up with a genial dance fight, by using clever moves, stylish movements and a steady rhythm.
And of course it was all a ruse, because while the two giants danced like two masters, someone extremely naughty swept up all the tables… but the two didn’t even notice and kept dancing. The music was THAT catchy, and xipe was really having a good time at watching it all.
The song changes again and a powerful macarena starts playing, everyone acts as if they’d known what to do since birth, everyone grabs another “person” and takes hold of their shoulders (or anything that comes relatively close) and an enormous train of beings starts thrashing around and swaying wildly at the powerful rhythm.
From a corner a presence watches quietly, calculating the perfect moment to avoid the train to not get swept up, too bad that the divine can’t be calculated, even by fellow gods, and so a golden head, molting colored paints and muttering gibberish, grabs one of the wires of the first one and puts them in the train. Everyone gets to watch as the metallic divinity starts to flush red both in embarrassment, anger and maybe something more, who knows?
After managing to escape the train with a miraculous stroke of luck, the human, yes the first character to be introduced, heads out to catch a few minutes(time is relative here, so it may be a second or an amber era lmao) of break to rest their tired libs, not everyone has blood flowing through their veins, and as he ventures out on a balcony that didn’t exist before, he meets someone…
A particularly grumpy someone.
Someone that while watching the crowd of happy people and gods dancing around thought “i should destroy all of this, it makes me nauseous” and other really cringe opinions on the state of the universe, the human didn’t mind though, he almost thought the same things since the day before he lost his comfy job at the… who even cares.
So the grumpy someone started talking and sharing opinions with the human, they surprisingly went along, until the certain someone removed it’s robe and said their name
“I’m called Nanook, sorry for the blood, can’t really do much about it, fuckass aha, when i get them…”
That phrase almost made the human’s heart go into arrest, it actually even hurt a little from the shock.
But xipe was wise and thankfully, since at every party the gods can’t control their mouths and their powers, they put up a barrier that prevents every kind of damages,even psychological ones, saving the day and the poor human’s bank account, since his health insurance sadly doesn’t cover “meetings with the aeons gone wrong”.
After that the human readily slipped away from the god of death and destruction by saying that he needed to use the bathroom. The god somehow fell for that.
The human tried his best to keep calm while resting in the bathroom stall, but who would have expected that someone was still there fixing their make-up? I mean the party was almost half-way.
It was of course the aeon of beauty, they didn’t even feel the need to go outside and party with the others, for them the large bathroom’s mirror was good enough.
Not shocking for those in the know but the man didn’t expect (of course sherlock) to meet idrlia in a public bathroom in a pocket-disco-party.-dimension. Even though anything hardly was planned or expected at this point.
While the human was in a trance and completely lost in his thoughts, something really funny was happening on the dancefloor.
A couple NO ONE would have thought of started dancing passionately and quickly, one was rocking it with two legs and two wheels, while the other, with their thousands of hands and their golden hairs, spinned around like a sickle cutting the grains in a field, this dance was unheard of, but it was incredibly fitting with the song that was being played.
Dance side, it's honestly incredible how these two didn't get at each other’s throat for the whole duration of the party, truly impressive.
Maybe xipe had a certain influence on this too. That or the paths are falling apart and the genre of the world has changed from adventure and gacha to romantic.
Let’s hope it's the former.
A certain dragon was resting inside a luxurious lounge, sipping on some immortal’s delight, they were getting old, alcohol should be avoided. But as they were about to finish that delicious treat, a sad looking black hole approached them, asking where they got that sweet drink, the dragon, being old old old and wise, instantly gave another cup to the gloomy celestial object. They didn’t want to hear the other one’s yap about nihility and depression. Today’s not the day. And so the two got along silently while sipping on some bubble tea.
After aha and ena finally separated (at the expense of the bar) aha found themselves quite lonely, so they followed another one around like a duckling, a beautiful aeon, yet not idrila, a really smart one, but not nous, who could it be? They had grey shining hairs and somehow they managed to talk to everyone, and even getting along with every single one, connecting the room and leveling up the vibe of the dancefloor, everyone’s talking with shining and happy faces.
Ena in the meanwhile got close to the dj set, and even convinced xipe somehow to let them take over for a bit.
A metal song started banging inside the ballroom, with basses so low they were scraping at hell’s door, and with acutes to high they were starting to poke at someone above the clouds, the song was widely well received and all the guests were spinning and twirling and any and every kind of synonym you can think about.
Anyway, half of the guests have arrived by now, the party has been wild, and someone simply spawned a fountain of champagne only for it to get dried in a matter of minutes. I wonder how ena is doing.
But the other half has just opened the door and barged in, a multitude of shapes, essences, colors and sounds too insane to be describable, probably some extra words too but I (nor the human) have not the senses necessary to detect these changes. One could feel their power though, since even the aeons shirked back a step, almost frightened, and THAT is unheard of. Who could ever “scare” the aeons?
The imaginary tree, here’s who.
But the tree itself, it seems, was too busy to participate, so it sent its leaves. Everyone of them, since by its words “a party to gather and dance from time to time is conductive and healthy for employees”.
The leaves flooded the ballroom, making themselves comfortable and each one of them talking with someone else, and after the fourth round of drinks everyone was chill like before, no one’s fighting or scared. Just people going at it and having fun.
Oh, i forgot to explain it to make it have sense to a human, but basically every leaf is both a universe in its entirety, and a “law” that binds other universes, like how robots have a task they complete, but are filled with machinery and cogs to make it work, leaves are basically the same.
So it's really fun to be able to see the death, the real deal, the mechanism that regulates the passing of any and all… to be completely wasted and ruined at the counter, while aha and ena are laughing their cosmic asses off after winning a bet.
And it's really interesting and absurd to notice how the Time is hiding in a corner to avoid being found by terminus, it couldn’t stand to be revolted like a sock today too only to make that guy travel and sleep more. Not today. And so they hid.
Too bad they got caught.
At the center of the dancefloor a crowd gathered around the “laws of physics” the leaf responsible to uphold the universes, it regulates the variable and so on and so forth, but not tonight, for the gravity was reversed, the light wasn’t the fastest thing and even the molecular interactions were about to be put in discussion during that dance, the laws of physics were straight up tripping and everyone who got influenced by that infernal yet refreshing dance started going at it like a horde frenzied devils.
Someone stared from the distance, it was HooH, and they were really about to have a stroke, seeing all that… chaos? Disorder? Not equilibrium? Even them couldn’t find the words to describe that incredible madness that permeated the dancefloor, they even saw a confused and shocked human coming out of the bathroom, looking around as if in disbelief and idrila following suit, finally having finished their preparations, make-up and all the rest.
Everyone at the end got infected by that unruly dance, and all the aeons formed a dance squad, jumping, moving , swaying gently like leaves in the wind, or monkeys in the jungle at times, the leaves of the imaginary tree were truly going overdrive, and all the not-divine beings that were somehow there started dancing too, trapped by the groovy atmosphere, entranced by the beauty and ridiculous scene.
At a certain point everyone felt a wave of nausea and dizziness, how could that be? Some of them didn’t even have internal organs or nausea-processing units.
Well, the reason was in front of them, after gathering all these powerful and almost omnipotent beings and making them go ham, even reality started to crack, and you could see the leaf of reality on the ground as if about to croak.
The solution was soon found, but the party was terminated earlier than it should have, which made xipe sad.
Reality convulsed and spasmed, and multiple tears in the dancefloor started to appear, usual approach would be to use these cracks as exit doors, too bad that reality wasn’t having that, they did not have the time for that, and so every aeon, god or being got sucked in these tears and got spat out from where they came from.
The human truly had a blast of fun, he even learnt how to dance the most popular song among the aeons, isn’t that an honor to be proud of?
In the meanwhile, on another planet, someone started writing this little story about how things unfurled at the █████████th of xipe’s parties.
And after finishing and correcting most of the grammar errors, they ate a fly, with nae a care in the world.