Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Each time someone tells Phainon that he seems to be close with Mydei, he can’t help but smile. He believes that reality is slightly more complex than this impression, and his bond with Mydei can’t be described with a single word. But he does appreciate the feeling, because out of all the people he’s met in Amphoreus, Mydei is definitely his favorite.

Phainon himself was caught on guard by the intensity of his feelings for Mydei. They were acquaintances, then foes and rivals, and the day he asked Mydei if he wanted to grab a drink with him, and Mydei said yes, he realised that they were also friends. He doesn’t know how it happened and, to be honest, he doesn’t really care. It happened, and it’s already good enough.

It’s not like he knows all of Mydei’s secrets, just like Mydei doesn’t know all of his. But he sees the nostalgia in Mydei’s eyes when he believes nobody looks at him, the ghosts of a past that was broken being a part of him. It resonates with Phainon, somehow.

Lately, though, he’s starting to wonder if he’s not feeling something else, too.

It starts when he sees Mydei in the thermal baths, the ones reserved for the heroes. As a result, he’s the only person indulging himself in the water, so Phainon doesn’t have anyone else to look at. Mydei is only wearing a towel tied around his waist, as his armor doesn’t like being immersed. And again, it’s not the first time Phainon sees him almost naked, because Mydei does takes baths at the same time as him, and when he does his nudity is the latest of his concerns.

But this very day is different, because Phainon’s eyes are grabbed by the pattern of red tattoo spreading across the other man’s chest and limbs as he sits down in the water, so he’s a little too aware of the other man’s body.

Mydei doesn’t seem to be bothered. “Sit closer. The water’s hotter here.”

Phainon doesn’t feel very cold, right now. “Thanks, but I’m fine where I am.”

Mydei shrugs.

Phainon doesn’t know why, but he does, in fact, feel quite hot already. If he’s sick, he’d rather not get too close to Mydei and infect him. If he’s not, then maybe the problem comes from Mydei, maybe the other man feels abnormally cold and needs more warmth.

Whatever it is, Phainon doesn’t let it get in the way of their talk. They engage in small talk naturally, as only two friends can when they see each other. Phainon can ask questions that Mydei wouldn’t reply to if they didn’t come from him, such as the last food he ate, or what he plans to do in the evening. Trivial questions that don’t really have any sort of importance, but they feel pleasant to ask.

All this time, Phainon’s eyes wander lower than usual, drinking in a sight that should be familiar to him at this point, but he never noticed how alluring it is until this point. Really, Mydei is already quite popular for a man coming from Castrum Kremnos, and Phainon’s aware that only his unapproachable personality is the reason why he doesn’t receive more proposals from beautiful ladies and handsome men. People just look at him from afar, in awe, just like one would look at the sky and long for what hides behind it. It just never hit Phainon that Mydei’s popularity would actually skyrocket if he showed even more skin than he does.

“It’s a shame that you’re hiding a good part of your body under your clothes,” Phainon says.

Mydei blinks. “Huh?”

“The red looks good on you.”

Mydei stares at Phainon in disbelief. “Now that’s the weirdest thing I’ve heard coming from you.”

“Really? I just thought it’d help you find a significant other easier.”

“I don’t need one,” retorts Mydei, “and I sure don’t want you to get involved in my love life.”

Phainon smiles. “Oh, don’t worry, I wouldn’t either.”

He’s never cared about Mydei’s intimate life before, just like he wouldn’t want Mydei to care about his own (not that he has one. He’s too busy fighting for Amphoreus to consider letting someone share a part of his life.). They’re close but not that close. Or at least, it’s always been the case up till now.

Now, though, the idea of Mydei finding someone he loves and is loved by, someone who can be here for him even in his moments of vulnerabilities, someone who will treat him like the king he is. Would it be a good thing, though, if Mydei is a man who can’t die? Will he ever find peace, one day?

One thing is sure, though: a warrior wouldn’t be good for him.

And Phainon, unfortunately, is a Chrysos Heir.

Mydei sighs. “We both have battles we need to fight anyway.”

They do. And Phainon has so, so much on his plate already, so he doesn’t have the time to focus on why Mydei’s naked body suddenly makes him feel hot, or why he’d like for the other man to find the right person for him.

Phainon spends quite a lot of time on the training grounds on the outskirts of Okhema. Training is a necessity when you risk death whenever you leave the town; and even if you don’t, you won’t be able to defeat your enemies if you get rusty, that’s why Mydei can also often be found here.

They do, in fact, see each other there way more than they do in the thermae. They both have their own regimen, including a couple of muscle-development exercises and sparring sessions, so they don’t always work with each other. And when they don’t, Phainon usually doesn’t pay much attention to what Mydei is doing.

Today, though, he can’t help but cast small glances in his direction. The way Mydei’s muscles bend when he lifts a weight is… interesting. Not that different from what Phainon’s do, really, but it’s still more interesting. Phainon doesn’t know why. He doesn’t want to know.

But this makes him ask: “Hey, Mydei, how about we fight against each other for real, this time?”

Mydei carefully sets the lift down before he replies. “Why? Do you have a death wish, Deliverer?”

“No, I know you won’t kill me.” And not because Mydei will hold back, even if he would if he was to deal the final blow. It’s because Phainon is strong enough to not be killed. “It’d be good training, don’t you think?”

Mydei shrugs. “What weapon?”

“Bare-handed.”

Mydei frowns. “You’re sure you wanna fight me bare-handed? Wouldn’t want to break your delicate arms while we brawl.”

They’re both good at hand-to-hand combat, but Mydei might have a slight advantage thanks to his musculature. He’s physically strong, but also faster than most warriors of his category, which makes it harder to counter him. He’s also straightforward, so a weaker man could try and trick him to get the upper hand. Not that it’d work, because Mydei is smart, and he doesn’t need tricks to win.

Besides, Phainon doesn’t want to see himself as a weaker man. “My arms will be fine. You can go all-out, Mydei.”

Mydei snorts, but he believes Phainon so he gets himself in position. And it pleases Phainon, that he’s recognized by a warrior as powerful as Mydei. He doesn’t know why he wants his validation so much. He’s a hero, recognized as such by most of the inhabitants of Amphoreus. And yet it feels special when Mydei recognizes his worth.

Is it because he wants to be this rival’s man? Or is it because of another reason, a deeper one that he’s not ready to acknowledge yet?

Who knows. Not him, for sure.

“I’m ready, Phainon. I’ll be nice and let you deal the first blow.”

Phainon smirks. “You will regret it, my friend.”

He didn’t mean it as a way to disturb Mydei’s focus; the affectionate calling left his mouth as easily as any other word, because it’s true that he sees Mydei as his friend. But he sees the way Mydei’s eyes widen at the calling, the tension in his shoulders as he takes an attack he wasn’t ready for.

Phainon stays still.

He gives Mydei enough time to be himself again.

“Stop being a coward and go for it, Deliverer,” Mydei growls in a low voice after a while, and this time his face shows nothing but determination.

That’s when Phainon knows he can start the fight. And so he does.

Of course, the first punch he throws doesn’t land. Mydei deflects it with his arm and immediately responds with an uppercut. He’s going for the kill, Phainon understands, unwilling to let this fight drag for longer than necessary. To him, defeating Phainon in the shortest amount of time possible would be a badge of honor.

But Phainon wouldn’t be his rival if he wasn’t hard to bring down. He might be the only warrior who can actually match Mydei’s skills and offer him the good fight that the former heir of Kremnos craves deep down. He steps back and Mydey’s fist catches nothing but the air. He sees a small pleased smile on his opponent’s face. He understands.

“That was close,” he says, amused.

“Shut your mouth,” Mydei retorts, although he doesn’t sound as aggressive as he could be. He, too, is having fun right now.

Phainon decides to continue with an eagle strike, but Mydei blocks it almost too easily. The slap of skin against skin resonates in the air, and soon Phainon’s body starts to feel a little sore. His limbs will most likely be covered by a couple of hematomas, but nothing that won’t heal with time. Each time he tries a new move, Mydei parries. Each time Mydei attacks him, Phainon finds the way to protect himself.

They must look beautiful, fighting together like two dancers dancing in sync, because Phainon notices that more and more people are watching them from the corner of his eyes. He remembers Aglaea saying that they’re fighting for Okhema’s inhabitants’s peace, so that they won’t have to worry about the threats looming over their head. This is the kind of fight the citizens are expecting from them: an amicable rivalry with no bigger stakes than the honor of a victory and a small prize.

They both come to a pause at the same time. The fatigue is starting to affect Phainon’s gestures too much. Mydei, too, must be aware of the eyes upon them, because he says: “Game’s over.”

“Are you fine with a draw, Mydei?”

“We’re no demigods yet. There’s no point continuing with this fight when it’s clear you’re too tired for it.”

That’s one thing Phainon likes about Mydei. He loves fighting and cares a lot about glory, but he also knows when to step down. He’s been forced to swallow his pride the day his detachment left Kremnos, unable to stay any longer in this place. He knows that sometimes, the right choice is also the worst you can make.

Phainon walks to him and offers his hand. Mydei takes it. He hears the cheers of the crowd, and how excited they are because of the good fight they witnessed.

But there’s a thought that stays atop his mind, a thought he can’t drown under others. He knows he’s given his best, and everyone is satisfied, the audience who witnessed a good show and Mydei who could stand up to an equal. Phainon, a man who tries to be the most perfect version of himself, should be satisfied with that.

Then where does the feeling that he wants something else comes from?

Mydei gives him a light punch in the arm, nothing strong, just to get him to focus on him again. “Hey, Deliverer, if you space out on the battlefield like that, you’re dead.”

Phainon smiles. “You’re right. Sorry, Mydei. How about eating out together?”

Mydei’s eyes feel like two burning jewels on him, Phainon can see their fire even though they’re a few feet away from each other. “Sure. Guess we’re both paying for our own meal.”

If the night existed in Okhema, the moon would be shining in the sky when Mydei and Phainon leave Kyros’s restaurant. Time flies by easily when he spends time with his friend-slash-foe and it’s mostly his yawning that gives the real hour away. Phainon’s body is still human and needs some beauty sleep soon.

That’s a shame, he thinks as he looks at Mydei standing a step ahead, his half-naked back turned, ready to walk away. Phainon would like to spend even more time with this man. It hurts in his heart, right now.

Mydei finally looks back. “What are you doing, Deliverer?”

Phainon laughs. His thoughts are taking an embarrassing turn at this moment and he doesn’t want to show them. “Are you still free now?”

Mydei frowns. “I am, but it’s time to go to sleep. You look exhausted, Deliverer.”

“That’s because you didn’t hold back on me,” says Phainon, still cheerful. Mydei is so beautiful, right now. There’s a very light blush on his cheeks, coming from the wine they drank together, but Phainon hoped that it could mean something else, one day. “But you’re right, I’m exhausted. I should go home now and get some rest.”

“Good.”

But neither of them move.

Phainon doesn’t know why Mydei stays in front of him, quiet, but he just doesn’t want to break the moment. There stands the man he prefers in Okhema, a man who recently seems to be able to make his heart beat faster and to turn his face red, and he’s supposed to walk away? He doesn’t want it to happen.

Phainon has always quieted his own desires. Any feeling regarding what happened to Aedes Elysiae is muted, any emotion that could go in the way of his quest to be the perfect hero erased as properly as the slate of a student. But it burns, right now, in a part of his soul that he forgot about. It burns so strong that his embarrassing thoughts must be showing on his face now, and he looks at Mydei as if he’s the sun himself (and perhaps he is, because he shines brighter in Phainon’s eyes than the actual sun in the sky).

Mydei sighs. “Listen, Deliverer, I don’t like it when you beat around the bush.”

Mydei closes the distance and grabs Phainon’s face. Phainon blinks, but he’s ready when he feels Mydei’s lips on his own, offering a kiss that was asked with everything but words. Mydei kisses in a bit rough way, not tender, but he doesn’t have to be because Phainon wants the real experience. He wants the real Mydei, the man who won’t break in his arms and will stay by his side until he gets his Coreflame. He wants all the shadows of his past and the smiles he offers to Phainon when they’re eating together. He wants everything.

Mydei breaks the kiss and smiles. “I mean every word I say, and I only kiss a person I have feelings for. You’ll better remember that, Phainon from Aedes Elysiae.”

Phainon will. That’s probably the one thing he won’t ever forget, even if he were to lose all of his memories.

Chapter Text

Phainon doesn’t manage to sleep once he gets home.

The scene keeps repeating in his mind as he turns and turns in his bed. The flavor of Mydei’s lips hasn’t completely lingered from his lips and he feels their warmth when he focuses on the feeling. A kiss that Phainon never expected, not once. And yet it was enough to turn him upside down and make him realise the meaning behind his most recent actions.

It’s no wonder if his heart raced in front of the man and his face felt hotter than usual. Mydei is objectively handsome and attractive but it’s the first time Phainon understands what it means. The memory of his naked body in a bath or of his arms falling on him to punch him makes him feel weak in the stomach. The knowledge that getting involved in Mydei’s love life would be a terrible idea and the desire to have him find the right person for himself.

Phainon didn’t think he could be one.

He knows why. It’s not just because he’s a warrior and he knows there’s a high chance he will die young. It’s because his own past shackles him, he may act as if he’s perfect but his memories from Aedes Elysiae are still too fresh, too painful. He doubts himself a lot, he fears the future more than he wants to admit, and he doesn’t think a man as uncertain as him would be a good love interest for Mydei.

But Mydei kissed him because, apparently, Phainon was beating around the bush. And that changes everything because Mydei is the most sincere person Phainon knows, and he wouldn’t kiss Phainon without a good reason.

But he’s also not one to hide his feelings. When they first became friends, after Mydei accepted Phainon’s invitation to drink together, he acted in a friendly that Phainon didn’t expect from him. Mydei is only a surprise because Phainon underestimates how much he cares about him. So when, exactly, did Mydei decide that he has feelings for Phainon?

And how is he going to face Mydei, tomorrow?

Thankfully, Mydei acts as if nothing happened when they see each other. He greets Phainon with his usual “Good morning, Deliverer”, a little grumpy because it’s still early in the morning and maybe he too didn’t sleep well. Phainon doesn’t ask. He just says: “Good morning, Phainon!”

They have a meeting with the other Chrysos heirs in the morning to talk about their plans regarding the prophecy. They’ve already reclaimed six Coreflames and have two demigods, but it’s still not enough. The black tide is still a threat. The holy city is still the only place where people can live in safety. Nikador seems to be making their move so they’ll probably be the next Titan whose Coreflame the heirs will reclaim.

Nikador is Kremnos’s god, so Phainon can’t help but look at Mydei (more than he usually would). His friend doesn’t seem to mind talking about the Titan at all. He still respects the noble warrior who used to ask for blood and glory. And Mydei is a glorious warrior, one who looks for strife not because he loves discord but because if someone has to fight then he wants to be the one who does it, unless it’s someone’s fight.

But this one is his, so it surprises Phainon when Mydei says: “I’m not interested in their Coreflame. Someone else can have it.”

Tribbie looks baffled. “Really? But as the heir of Castrum Kremnos, you embody their values. You’re the most fitted recipient.”

Mydei’s face doesn’t betray any emotion as he replies: “I have no attachment to Castrum Kremnos. I’ll carry my people’s wishes and will fight against our god, but I don’t need the Coreflame.”

He looks at Phainon, which makes him shiver. Is he… implying that Phainon should get the Coreflame instead?

“Wait, wait, Mydei! I don’t have any right over it!”

“Anyone defeating a Titan is worthy of their Coreflame,” Aglaea points out. “You’re a warrior too, Phainon. And Mydei doesn’t want it, so you may claim it for yourself. I believe you’re strong enough to face this trial.”

Phainon stares harder at Mydei. He doesn’t think that his decision has anything to do with the kiss they just shared. Mydei wouldn’t let his personal feelings get in the way. If he’s looking at Phainon, it’s because he’s the only other warrior of the assembly, and Nikador needs to be defeated in a fight. There’s no other way to restore their Coreflame.

But Phainon doubts himself too much for this mission.

“Don’t use me as an excuse to run away,” Mydei warns him.

Phainon offers a smile he doesn’t feel. He can see himself win the fight, if not alone then with someone else by his side. He doesn’t have to win alone anyway: Mydei always says that overestimating yourself and thinking you’re the strongest will only get you killed in a stupid way. They’re all different, with their flaws. Mydei tolerates pain a lot better than Phainon and doesn’t tire as much as him. Phainon is a much more standard warrior, strong enough to be a hero, but nobody expects him to be better than a Titan.

The thought is comforting, but then he thinks of Aedes Elysiae and of how much he didn’t want to be a hero.

“I’ll think about it,” he promises.

Mydei’s smile rewards him, and Phainon feels so warm there’s no way Aglaea doesn’t notice there’s something going on between the two of them. Her golden threads see more than eyes do, and they seem to catch on emotions very well. She knows when people lie to her or hide their feelings from themselves.

Well, Phainon isn’t hiding his feelings from himself because his heart is playing drums at the moment, all because of a smile.

The meeting ends soon, and the ladies get up from their lounge chairs, wishing them a good day. Mydei doesn’t move so Phainon stays seated. Mydei doesn’t look in his direction, instead watching the reflection of the sun over the surface of the water. It hasn’t been that long since Phainon has started to notice how well-built Mydei is (and he can’t go back now, because he’s been told by he apparently talks a lot about muscles nowadays, and he knows it’s all because of this man) but he wishes Mydei would look at him instead.

“Just to be clear,” Mydei breaks the silence, still not looking at him, “I don’t care who gets the Coreflame. It can be you or anyone else.”

“Of course.” Turn your head. I’m right here.

“I know you, Deliverer. You’re not going to claim it if you think I’m interested. But I’m not, so it’s all yours if you want it.”

Phainon smiles. “How nice of you, Mydei!”

Mydei growls. “I just said I don’t care about this. I’m only trying to clear a possible misunderstanding.”

He finally looks at Phainon, and... wow. He’s not lying when he says he doesn’t care. There’s not a hint of fire in his eyes, not a single ounce of desire. He might be keeping his true desire for himself, but whatever it is, Phainon doesn’t think it has anything to do with the Coreflame. Mydeimos from Castrum Kremnos doesn’t lie.

But even if he doesn’t want the Coreflame, that doesn’t mean Phainon is worthy of it.

“I know,” Phainon replies in a soft voice. But that’s not the problem.

Mydei sighs and gets up from his seat. Phainon doesn’t, observing Mydei approaching him in assured steps, the steps of a lion entering a battlefield. Phainon shivers.

Mydei towers over him, and Phainon is suddenly sent back to the past, back when he was still a small child who didn’t want to leave his hometown. There were adults who seemed like giants, their faces closer to the sun than his yet eroded by shadows, tearing him away from his own heaven. Mydei could have been one of them, he understands. In other circumstances, he could have haunted Phainon’s worst nightmares.

But his hair catches the light and his face has a softness that Phainon has never seen on any other adult before. That’s right, he’s no longer a scared child deprived of his home, he’s a hero who knows how to fight.

“I won’t get into your business, but I don’t like it when you’re doubting yourself. So, if you need to talk, just know that you can count on me.”

Mydei is also way more caring than anyone else he’s met ever since he’s set foot in Okhema. Even Tribbie and their kindness don’t make Phainon feel special, because he knows it’s not something reserved for him. But Mydei is a man who prefers staying alone most of the time, who doesn’t share his worries with anyone, so when he acts so open with Phainon and shows that he worries about him, Phainon feels his heart skip a beat.

He grabs Mydei’s wrist to make sure he won’t go. “And you can talk to me too, Mydei.”

All of a sudden, the air grows a lot warmer. It takes Phainon a couple of seconds to understand that it’s because his whole body feels hot, right now, hot with a need he’s never experienced before.

This time, he knows what to do. He tugs at Mydei’s wrist and the other man kneels in front of him, his fiery eyes softened by an emotion Phainon now has a name for. He never realized that Mydei was looking at him differently until now, that he’d done it for a long time.

Man, he could cry right now.

He leans over and catches Mydei’s face between his hands, the other man’s cheeks hot against his skin. He’s burning, too, and it gives him the last bit of courage Phainon needed to join their lips together.

If Mydei kisses roughly, then Phainon is a lot softer, but he wouldn’t say he’s gentle for all that. He’s a little tender when he presses his lips against Mydei’s, but there’s something forceful in the way he moves his tongue to deepen the kiss, needing to explore Mydei’s mouth and claim it as his. He doesn’t need to leave a mark on the other and his grip on Mydei’s face only tightens enough for his own comfort, not more. He only needs to discover a new part of Mydei’s body, one that his eyes haven’t been able to see.

Mydei lets him do what he wants. He could push Phainon away if he wanted, he’s strong enough to not be coerced into something he doesn’t desire. But he’s genuine, and if he replies to Phainon’s kiss without taking the initiative himself, it’s because he likes it that way. It’s that simple. And it drives Phainon crazy, because he thinks of all they could do if only they weren’t in a public space, in a non-locked room where anyone could walk on them. He could grab Mydei’s hair and see if he groans if Phainon pulls at it, he could slide a hand under his armor and feel if his skin is softer there, he could push Mydei down and lie over him and feel the way his body reacts each time Phainon’s mouth moves.

But he doesn’t, and he breaks the kiss not when he’s had enough (because he doesn’t think he’ll have enough, not when Mydei is the only thought in his mind) but when he needs to breathe again.

Mydei’s face is of a pretty shade of pink, his lips redder than his tattoos.

And his smile is so bright Phainon feels a little blinded by it.

“Seems like you know what you want, after all, Deliverer.”

Phainon can’t help but laugh. “And it’s all thanks to you, Mydei.”

Things start to change between them after the kisses.

It wouldn’t take a genius to notice it and the other Chrysos heirs are pretty quick to catch on. All of sudden, Phainon spends even more time with Mydei, and it’s not exactly something new, but when you ask them if they slept well and they tell you that they didn’t because they were too busy talking to each other, you understand that they rarely spend what counts as the night alone. Mydei smiles more, but only at Phainon, and Phainon still smiles as often as usual but Aglaea tells him that it’s a more relieved smile, the kind you have when you’re around someone you trust. Mydei doesn’t mind adding milk to his pomegranate juice in front of Phainon (he used to not touch this juice in front of anyone, but there’s no point hiding this kind of stuff from someone who likes you enough to turn red when they see your naked torso, doesn’t it?). Phainon talks a little more about his past.

And it feels good.

Phainon doesn’t know what the future holds for them. The confrontation with Nikador is getting closer, day by day, and it’s only a matter of time before they find Kremnos. When they do, there’s a slight possibility that his bliss will shatter into pieces. Maybe he’ll die before they can get the Titan’s Coreflame. Maybe they won’t manage to defeat them and the world will be doomed.

But Phainon doesn’t want to think about it. There’s only one thing that matters, right now.

“Phainon, stop looking at my chest,” Mydei complains in a voice that is a bit annoyed, but not that much.

“It’s right in front of my eyes.”

“And you know what should be in front of your eyes? The road. You’re going to bump into someone at this rate.”

The two men are walking side by side in the street, going back after another afternoon of training. Phainon has a cut over his arm, and he’s embarrassed Mydei by saying it’s proof of Mydei’s love for him (Mydei called him an idiot). But it’s been a while since Phainon has felt free to be as childish and laid-back as he wants. He’s always crushed by the weight of his heroic image, too aware of all the things he has to accomplish to be the perfect warrior everyone in the city, himself included, wants him to be.

Here, with Mydei, he can be himself, a little less perfect than usual.

“I know you’re going to grab me by the arm and get me out of the way if it happens.”

“Spoken like a spoiled damsel in distress.”

“Really? Remind me who acted like a spoiled princess last night?”

Mydei punches him in the arm, his ears red from the reminder. “I’m too nice to you, Deliverer.”

With that, Phainon agrees. Mydei is a kind soul and a good man, definitely out of Phainon’s league. Not long ago, Phainon thought it was best if he didn’t involve himself in Mydei’s private life, especially since they could only be friends.

Now, he just thinks he’s an idiot for not seeing what was hanging right in front of his nose sooner.