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It was a quiet day. On TV, Doraemon was encouraging Nobita to do something that Rin wasn't listening to, too busy sitting on the carpet and playing with his stuffed owl. He gave it a punch, then another, deforming the animal before gently tapping it back into shape. If his mother saw this, she wouldn't be happy… Luckily, she was outside talking to the neighbor about important things (“The neighbors' association,” Sae had replied when Rin asked what it was, but he had already forgotten) and his father was at work. Next to him, Sae was watching the anime, occasionally blowing on his bangs to get a better look at the screen.
Outside the window, rain was falling, making it impossible to go outside and play football – maybe that was why his brother looked so annoyed. The ball he was hugging made a pitiful, squeaky deflating sound as he squeezed it harder with every blow of air leaving his mouth. Intrigued, Rin tilted his head to the side, observing Sae for an entire minute before he decided to speak up.
“Nii-chan, are you okay?”
Sae glanced at him through his bangs before pointing to his hair. “Too long. I'm gonna ask Mom to cut it.”
“Eh… But it's pretty like that!”
Unlike Rin's hair, Sae's was fluffy, like the fat cat that always slept in front of the place they bought ice cream from and that they – more Rin than Sae – liked to pet. It was soft to the touch, and it tickled when strands of it brushed against Rin's skin when they hugged. To Rin who liked nothing more than matching with his brother, that was a feature he envied. Rather than his plain black hair, wouldn’t it have been nice to share its color with his brother’s?
“I can't play football if I can't see.”
Sae was so good he could do anything even without trying, Rin thought. Proof lied in the fact he managed to practice all this time without problem so why couldn't he continue like that?
“Really? Even if you try super hard?”
Sae nodded. “Yeah.”
If Sae said so then Rin had no choice but to trust him – his brother was always right after all. Maybe Rin should cut his hair too so they could match again… With a quiet “Hm”, he addressed his plushie, peering into its black eyes to see what it thought of his plan – its slightly deformed face seemed to approve, encouraging him to follow Sae's steps. Good. They just had to wait until their mom came back.
Still, she was taking a lot of time. Another Doraemon episode passed without a sign she'd be here anytime soon and Sae had resorted to holding his bangs over his head with one hand while Rin had just given up on the television, rolling all over the carpet. Just as he hit his forehead against the low table leg for the third time, an idea bloomed in his mind. Rin got up suddenly, narrowly avoiding crashing into the table for real this time, and ran up to his room without looking back at Sae who was calling for him.
There, he searched through his drawers, didn't find anything, looked through Sae's, and found what he came here for. This time, remembering what Sae always told him, he was careful on the stairs, not jumping off them as usual, but gripping the railing with his free hand. The hurry he was in almost made him trip at the last step, but he managed to land on both feet before walking to the living room.
“Nii-chan, nii-chan! I'll do it!”
Unfazed by his excitement, Sae lazily glanced at Rin standing in the doorway, his eyes widening at what his younger brother was holding in his right hand.
“I'll cut your hair,” Rin affirmed, waving the pair of scissors in the air – they weren't as impressive as the ones their mother used in the kitchen, but Rin couldn't climb the counter to get them so he had to settle for these small ones.
“Rin…” Sae studied his younger brother for a few seconds, his eyes going back and forth between Rin’s face and the scissors in his hands before leaning back on the sofa behind him. “Sure.”
Seeing Sae accept so readily, Rin’s face broke into an even bigger smile. His brother always helped him, and it was now his turn to return the favor. Sae shifted his body, going from sitting cross-legged in front of the TV to kneeling while facing Rin. Like that, they were the same height, a novel feeling for Rin whose eyeline usually only reached Sae’s waist. Perhaps in the future, he’d be as tall as his brother…
But before that, he had a mission to accomplish. They exchanged a look and Sae nodded, closing his eyes. Holding a strand of red hair between his fingers, Rin approached the safety scissors and snip! , it fell, scattering to the floor. He took a step back to judge his work. It was… Alright. Probably. No matter the hairstyle, his brother would still be the coolest in the world so it’d be good if he liked what Rin just did.
“Hey, nii-chan.”
“Hm?”
“Will you get mad if I mess up?”
Sae snorted. “Of course not. Even if you make me bald, I’d like it.”
“I won’t do that!”
“Then come on, and cut it properly.”
At Sae’s urging, Rin approached him again, this time emboldened by his brother’s trust in him. Little by little, Sae’s bangs which once were as long as Rin’s, covering his eyes, disappeared under the scissors, leaving behind a too-short, too-uneven mess. Some strands were sticking out in a weirdly endearing way, the floor, and Rin’s hands were covered in hair, and it seemed he missed a few loose locks that were still longer than the rest, but Rin smiled.
“I’ve finished,” he announced, pride seeping into his voice. “Oh wait, you need a mirror to see it… Wait a second, Nii-chan!”
Immediately, Rin let go of the scissors and ran to the bathroom to get a small-sized mirror to hand Sae, but, when he came back, his brother was looking at himself in the window. Brushing his now shorter bangs, Sae smiled gently at his reflection before turning to the newly returned Rin.
“It's not bad.”
“Really?”
“I don't lie,” Sae scoffed, getting up and walking to Rin to stroke his head. “Thanks, Rin.”
He leaned into Sae's touch, his brother's gentle hand patting his head a little roughly as he always did when he thought Rin did well. Now that it was over, Rin still had something to tell him, but he opted to indulge in his brother's praises a little more instead. Before he could ask Sae to cut his hair too so they'd have the same hairstyle, heavy steps echoed in the hallway, stopping at the living room's entrance.
“Sae, Rin, I'm sorry it took so long, I hope you didn't– Oh.”
Their mother buried her face in her hands at their sight and Rin really couldn't understand why.
* * *
The memories bubbling up inside Rin vanished into thin air as he clicked his tongue in annoyance. Lowering the scissors in his hand, he looked at himself in the mirror – with his free hand, he held up his bangs so his forehead was visible for a split second before letting them down. If he cut his hair now, he'd see Sae everywhere, his cold eyes criticizing him silently, and he couldn't bear that pressure right now, not right before the match against the U20.
Rin set the scissors aside and turned away, images of the day he did as he pleased with Sae's hair still dancing in front of his eyes – unlike his brother, he was bad at discarding useless memories, and so they still haunted him now.