Work Text:
Kiora blinked awake. Sunlight streamed in through the large windows of her chambers, warming her face. Duchess looked at her with sleepy, feline eyes. Kiora sat up, a piece of paper clinging to her slightly sweaty cheek. She peeled it off and looked at it. A letter from a Warden who was asking about the details of what the Inquisitor wanted the Wardens to do, especially now that their Commander had been left for dead in the Fade. She sighed and set the letter down.
The world was a messy thing. Usually, the Fade was an escape, regardless of any demons or too-curious spirits that tried to toy with her.
But lately, Despair had been trying to sink its oversized teeth into her arm, to latch onto a limb and never let go.
Ah, Despair, she thought. My oldest friend.
She organized her desk, trying to sort letters by already read, not yet read, and ones I’m too scared to respond to.
The letter from the Wardens fit neatly into the third, largest pile. It covered up the letter addressed from Trevelyan Castle.
She looked back out at the midday sun coming in through the windows as she gave Duchess idle strokes along her spine. The cat purred beneath her palm, happily absorbing the magic of the Anchor through her inky black fur. Kiora would always be grateful that the Anchor didn’t scare cats away from her. If anything, it seemed to attract them even more. All creatures seemed to react to the Anchor in some way. It often frightened horses. Humans and elves were hit or miss. It usually depended on how Andrastian they were. Qunari didn’t like it. Dwarves didn’t care. Dogs whined and barked at it.
Kiora ran a hand through her hair, her long, black nails working to comb through the tangles of sleep. I should visit Sera, she thought. Her poor Sunshine had been… shaken by recent events. Sera wasn’t exactly the best at accepting that she needed to be comforted, but Kiora was confident in her abilities. She pulled her hand away from Duchess’ back, and the cat made a soft murp of longing.
“Just a moment,” Kiora whispered. She took a deep breath and focused her energy on recreating her old magic. “Wash away despair,” she said as she exhaled. “And breathe in-” She inhaled. “Enter hope.” A ball of dark purple magic formed between her palms. It was warm to the touch, sending waves of pulsing comfort through her body. She repeated the mantra over and over, washing away despair and allowing hope to enter her body. Duchess had fallen asleep again.
Odd, she thought. The Anchor seems to make it stronger. She certainly didn’t feel all too much more hopeful than she did in the Circle or as an apostate. Especially not after her recent waking venture back into the Fade. She felt the compulsion to refer to the sins and virtues not as things, but as names.
“Wash away Despair,” she ventured, the statement half a question. There was a strange tingling on her spine. Ah. There you are, old friend. She smiled. It’s time for you to take your leave of me. “Enter Hope.” Blooming from her palm was a softness that ran along her veins, weaving about inside her body. Hello, she thought. It’s nice to see you. Not a full spirit. But a wisp, perhaps. An idea. It was good to know that there was still some Hope to go around.
She exhaled and the orb dissipated with it. “Alright, Duchess,” she said, giving the little black cat a pat on the head. “You can come with me, if you’d like. I’m going to the tavern to see Sera.” Duchess gave her a slow blink. “I’m sure Cole will have a snack for you.” Duchess stood, stretching her long, slender body as she yawned, and then hopped off the desk. Kiora giggled. Such a predictable little creature.
• ° • ♡ • ° •
“Oh, you.” Kiora blinked at Sera’s tone. It was strange. Strained. “Not you.” Her face was worried. Frightened. “Not now!”
Kiora was nearly knocked back as Sera ran past her and out of her room. “Sera?” It took her mind a second to catch up with her eyes and ears and bumped shoulder. “Sera!” She turned and ran after her. This wasn’t like Sera. Sera didn’t run away from things. She always ran toward things. Everything. Except for demons and magic and elfiness. Oh. Oh, no. Kiora picked up the pace. Sera wasn’t too far ahead, but she was fast and nimble.
Kiora kept her eye trained on Sera’s slender form, watching as she ducked behind a wooden pillar. “Sera, please!” She tried to keep her voice low, not wanting to attract too much attention. “What’s-?”
“I don’t want to talk,” Sera said, cutting her off. She sounded terribly upset. “Go away!” Kiora didn’t move. Sera stepped out from behind the pillar somewhat and shooed at Kiora like she was a meddlesome pet. “I said go! Away!”
It squeezed at Kiora’s heart to be… dismissed. She tried to steel herself. She doesn’t mean it. She can’t. She doesn’t… not need me any more. Right? I can be helpful. Whatever it is, I can be helpful. “Please, just tell me what’s-”
“I saw you dead!” Sera yelled at the floor. Her hands were in tight fists at her side. “You led all of this-” She looked up at Kiora. It was impossible to ignore the hurt on her face. “Right up Coryphy-shit’s face, and then the Herald went home to Andraste!” She threw her hands up in frustration. She looked down at the floor again, glaring at the wooden planks. “It was last night, clear as anything, even with eyes shut. You. In the Void.” She looked back up at Kiora. The pain was still written all over her pretty face. “Gone.” She grasped her own hands, fidgeting with them. Kiora desperately wanted to hold them. “I can’t see it again. I can’t be with you and see that again!”
“Oh.” A nightmare. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know it’s frightening, I really do,” Kiora said, trying to take a few steps closer. She set the book down on a vacant table. “But it was a dream, Sunshine, and-”
“Right, like you have any say!” Sera yelled. “There’s holes leaking the Fade, dreamland, all over the place! Dreams show stuff,” she said. “Stuff I don’t want to think about!” She talked more and more with her hands as her emotions started to bubble up and boil over. “Which is hard, because I want to think about you! A lot.” She walked closer to Kiora, closing the distance between them. Her voice was loud despite the dozens of eavesdropping ears below in the tavern. “You don’t act like nobles. I love that. You don’t hide. I love that. You really like cookies, even if you can’t friggin’ bake. Fine. Still love that. And you’re- you’re so mage-y. Still love that. But seeing this really hurt!” Sera’s voice had grown wet, her eyes misty. “I’m fighting to make things better and learn truth and shit, and it just keeps getting scarier!”
She loves me. Kiora’s eyes were wide. She… she has to. She didn’t know what to do. Love, being loved was still so new and frightening. She’d never been allowed such a thing before. “I know you think words are just words,” Kiora whispered, “but that was a lot of love you just let slip.”
“Well, thank you, miss Mage-y Smarty Robes, turning it all around to show me what I really want,” Sera spat. It felt like a slap in the face. “But so what? You’re special. Who else is special? Divines, yeah? Wardens, too. Heralds will be so different? So, yes. Love. Lots of it. Who cares against all of everything?”
Push them away before it’s too late. End it before it ends you.
Sera sounded like a mage.
Kiora smiled despite herself. She thought of Anders and Hawke. Of the Hero of Ferelden and Zevran. Maybe… maybe she could join them. “It’s because I love you that everything better watch out,” she said, her voice soft but strong. “You and me, Sunshine. We’ve done alright so far, haven’t we?”
Sera’s eyes went wide as the question was turned around onto her. Then she furrowed her brows. Before Kiora had a second to brace herself, Sera tackled her around her soft middle, sending them both tumbling to the floor.
It was good to have her back.