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Chapter Text

For the fifth time, second year Internal Medicine resident Dr. Kana Arima adjusted her black dress and brushed a stray wisp of her red hair from her eyes. She took a deep breath as she stopped in front of Room 301— the Internal Medicine Residents' Office.

Every Sunday morning, attending physician Dr. Taiki Kamiki would have his coffee here, saying it was habit he acquired from his residency days that he had never broken off. He would offer advice to the resident-on-duty on their cases and sometimes even treat them to breakfast. 

Today was a Sunday, and she was the resident-on-duty. It was the perfect time. Today, she would confess to Dr. Taiki. The probability of her being rejected was more than fifty percent, but she would rather have that than to regret never telling him her feelings at all especially since there were rumors that Dr. Taiki was leaving to further train abroad.

Taking one last deep breath, Kana opened to door to find Dr. Taiki sleeping, his head covered with the hood of his jacket pillowed against his crossed arms. He likely just arrived, still in his casual clothes, devoid of his white coat. Bravely, she walked in front of the desk where he was dozing off.

She would not chicken out now. "Dr. Taiki Kamiki!"

She heard him softly grunt. So he was awake. She clenched her hands at her sides and confessed, "Dr. Taiki, I like you!"

Dr. Taiki slowly raised his head except— it wasn't Dr. Taiki at all, but a man with blonde hair and strikingly clear blue eyes. The single silver stud on his pierced right ear glinted as he moved. "Huh?"

Kana's jaw dropped in a silent scream. "W-Who the hell are you?!"

The man's eyebrows furrowed. "I'd like to ask you the same thing."

She slammed her palms against the desk and glared suspiciously at the stranger. "This is the doctors' office! How did you get in?! Who the hell are you?!"

He stared at her face for a moment, his expression thoughtful. His eyes then drifted to the keychain strapped on her bag. "Dr. Kana Arima," he read.

She turned her bag away. "Are you a burglar? I'll scream," she warned.

"You're Doctor Kana Arima?" he repeated.

"Yes! I'm a doctor here so I swear I'll report—"

She did not get to finish her statement because the man stood up, grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips.

Kana screamed.

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"Now, now Aqua, why in the world did you do that?" Dr. Taiki reprimanded the blonde stranger as he patted Kana's shoulder who sobbed furiously. 

The blonde man who sat on the other end of the table looked away guiltily. "I got carried away, sorry."

"Carried away?!" Kana yelled. "Who the hell are you?!"

"Dr. Arima, on behalf of my brother, I'm really sorry," Dr. Taiki apologized as he looked at the blonde man in confusion. "He's usually docile and polite. I don't know why he acted that way."

Kana's anger deflated. "Wait... your brother?"

"Ah yes." The black-haired doctor gestured to the stranger. "He's my younger brother, Aquamarine Kamiki. You're probably more familiar with his stage name: Aqua."

"What the hell is that tacky name?" She crossed her arms and glared at the man named Aqua. "And why would I know a pervert?"
 
Aqua's eyes narrowed. "You still have a nasty mouth."

"And why the hell are you acting like you know me?!" she snapped back.

"Now, now, please calm down the both of you," Dr. Taiki mediated. He turned to his brother, his expression stern. "Aqua, stop provoking Dr. Arima and apologize sincerely." He then turned to Kana and his expression softened. "Aqua's a model and actor. You've probably seen some of his works."

He did look familiar. Was he the model for that sunglasses brand? And that popular men's wear? And the male lead of that teen drama a few years ago? Dr. Taiki was handsome. It would not be surprising if his brother would also take after him. She turned her head to the side. "I don't care."

There was a deep sigh as Aqua moved towards her and knelt by her side. Kana flushed as he looked directly into her eyes. "I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

"W-What?" she spluttered in embarrassment as she pulled him to his feet. "Don't kneel down!"

Aqua remained kneeling as he turned to his brother. "Taiki, that thing I asked you before? I'd like Dr. Kana Arima here to help me."

Dr. Taiki blinked and rubbed his chin. "That's actually a brilliant idea. Dr. Arima is one of our best doctors."

Her eyes darted between the two brothers. "What is it?"

"Dr. Arima, you see, my brother has been cast in a medical drama so he's actually here to observe and," Dr. Taiki raised his hands to signal quotation marks, "get into his role. For that, he needs a mentor." 

"No," Kana flatly declined. "Get some other doctor, or better yet, another hospital!"

"Ah, that's impossible." Sheepishly, Dr. Taiki scratched the back of his head. "Our father owns this hospital, so this is really the best place for Aqua."

"Please help me, Dr. Arima," Aqua pleaded.

She shook her head. She could lose her job, but no, she would not help him. To hell with residency anyway. "No! I said No!"

"Please."

"NO!"

"Please."

"NO! NO! NO!"

In the end, she said yes. 

Kana wanted to pull her hair in frustration. Why was she such a push-over? She sneaked a glance to her side, frowning at how unfair the world was. She had to admit that Aqua looked very handsome in the light blue scrub suit he wore. Between the two of them, he probably looked more like the respectable doctor, even if she was the one wearing the white doctor's coat on top of her scrubs. Dammit.

"You'll just observe me during my rounds. Don't speak. Don't bother any patient. Better if you can somewhat make yourself invisible," she instructed. She stopped walking and turned to him, arms crossed. "Any questions?"

He nodded, his face impassive. "Are you married, Dr. Arima?"

She stared at him in disbelief. How was this pervert related to her wonderful Dr. Taiki? "Are you insane?"

"Probably not," he muttered thoughtfully, more to himself. "Then do you have a boyfriend?"

She propped her weight on one hip, eyebrows raised. "HA? Why does it matter to you?"

"If you don't have one, will you go out with me?"

Her mouth opened and closed, speechless. She looked around the hallway suspiciously. "So where's the camera? Is this some kind of prank show? I know it's popular in Tokyo but you must know we don't find that stuff funny here in Miyazaki."

"Of course not," he answered, mildly offended. "I'm serious."

Kana closed her eyes and massaged her temples. So much has happened, and it wasn't even ten in the morning. There was so much work to be done, and this pervert added to her problems. "Just stop, Kamiki—"

"Aqua," he interrupted. "Please call me Aqua."

"Stop, Aqua," she relented. There was no point arguing with a lunatic. "I don't know what's wrong with that head of yours, but can we just stop this and do our work?" She sighed deeply and started walking. Thankfully, he shut up and followed obediently. 

This was going to be a long three weeks.

By the third day, all the nurses, doctors and patients they encountered loved Aqua. Especially the ladies, both married and unmarried, gushed as they passed by the hallway.

"Good morning, Dr. Aqua!"

"Have a nice day, Dr. Aqua!"

Aqua would flash his charming smile and everyone would squeal. Kana scowled. She was the doctor. Why the hell were they so enthusiastic over him?

"Have a canned coffee, Dr. Aqua!"

"Thank you, Ma'am." He thanked the old lady from room 213 with a million-watt smile and accepted her gift. 

She glared at him once they exited the patient's room. "You're a playboy, aren't you?"

"I'm not. I'm an actor," he replied, offering the can to her. "Here, have this."

"You shouldn't give to others what you've received. That's bad manners."

The corner of his lips quirked in a small smile as he glanced at her. "You probably need this more than me. You lack sleep, don't you?"

Self-consciously, Kana covered the dark circles underneath her eyes. Was she unable to conceal them with make-up? It was all because of the stress from the upcoming in-service exams and those weird dreams. "Bastard!" 

His smile dropped. "Hey, I'm genuinely worried about you." 

"If you are, then please leave me alone."

"No way."

She snapped her head to look at him, ready for her rebuttal, but they were interrupted by Dr. Taiki who waved from the other end of the hallway. She smiled and waved back. "Dr. Kamiki!"

"Dr. Arima, Aqua," he greeted with a grin as he came towards them. "Glad to see you two getting along. Thank you so much for your help, Dr. Arima." 

His large and warm hand patted her head. Kana flushed as she looked down. "I- it's nothing!" 

The black-haired attending physician turned to his brother. "Behave yourself, Aqua, alright? Don't give any more trouble to Dr. Arima."

Aqua furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. "I'm trying to be on my best behavior." Kana almost snorted. What a liar! "Don't you have to be somewhere, Taiki?"

Dr. Taiki checked his watch. "Crap, you're right! I'll see you both around!" 

Kana watched Dr. Taiki's retreating form with a small dreamy smile. He was really the breath of fresh air in this desolate provincial hospital. The total opposite of the brooding male beside her. 

Even without turning her head, she knew Aqua was staring at her. "You won't go out with me because you like Taiki?"

Horrified, her cheeks flushed, and she covered his mouth with her palm. "What the hell! What if someone hears you?!" she hissed.

He grasped her wrist and lowered her hand from his mouth. His serious expression made her uneasy. "Just so you know, I won't back down even if you like my brother. I can't miss my chance in this lifetime too." 

She furrowed her eyebrows at his cryptic response. He was either delusional or insane. Probably both. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Aqua turned his head and gestured to Dr. Taiki who was now talking with a long-haired doctor in the nurse's station. He avoided her question and instead remarked, "Taiki loves cute girls with long hair and big boobs like that Dr. Frill Shiranui of Neurology." He turned back to Kana and smiled smugly. "Sorry, Dr. Arima."

That earned the blonde actor a kick in the shin. Kana stalked away fuming, leaving him cursing in pain. 

She really, really hated him.

Kana stared at the ceiling of her dorm room. She checked the LED clock on her bedside table— she only got three hours of sleep again. 

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she groaned. At this rate, she was going to collapse from fatigue if those weird dreams did not stop.

It was the same funeral nightmare. The anguish cry that sounded so much like her own voice, the multitude of white flowers, and the icy cold skin against her palm when she brought her hand down to slap the faceless corpse. 

Kana had a nasty attitude, but she would draw the line at slapping a corpse. Who the hell was that anyway?

There was no point trying to go back to sleep. With a sigh, she sat up and prepared to go to work.

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The powerful aroma of brewed coffee filled the air as Kana opened the door of the Internal Medicine Residents' Office. Her shoulders slumped, "What the fuck are you doing here at six in the morning?"

The blonde actor turned from his position near the window. "Good morning to you too, Dr. Arima." He gestured to the cup of coffee in his hand. "Have some coffee. I brewed enough."

She deposited her bag on the table and plopped on the seat farthest from him, legs crossed. She was hoping to have some quiet time for herself before work after another restless night, but he decided to ruin it. "Seriously, it's too early for you to be here."

"I was waiting for you," Aqua answered. "I was hoping to chat a little."

Her cheeks flushed. "And what are we going to chat about?"

He paused, his clear blue eyes thoughtful. "Perhaps your hobbies? Where do you live? Why did you become a doctor? What are your likes and dislikes? What's your ring size?"

"I swear, Aqua," Kana warned darkly. "If you continue that, I'll kick your balls so hard that you won't have any children in the future."

"We won't have any children," he corrected just as she stood up, ready to make good on her threat. He paled and moved back. "Wait— I was just kidding."

She sat back, her crimson eyes still murderous. 

He smiled wistfully, and she did not really understand why he seemed to gaze at her with familiarity. "I really missed your cute, angry face."

He only narrowly avoided her kick that could have ended the Kamiki bloodline.

All Kana wanted to do after a long day at work was to take a hot bath and eat dinner in peace. Except the blonde actor (stalker) was still following her. Kana stopped in her tracks and glared back at him, the fatigue and irritation amplifying her scornful words. "Can you please stop following me? Why don't you just go die somewhere?"

"Done that," Aqua replied casually. "And I'm not following you. My home is in the same direction."

"What the hell?" She raised her arm towards the opposite direction, upstream the river parallel to the road. "The Kamiki mansion is that way! There's only the hospital's dorm at the end of this road!"

He had the audacity to remain impassive. "So you knew where I live."

"That's where Dr. Taiki lives! I assume you live with him!"

His eyes narrowed imperceptibly as he muttered, "Stop talking about Taiki."

"Why?" She lowered her arm, her crimson eyes desperate and, at the same time, curious. "Did I do something wrong to you? Why are you following me?"

This time, he lowered his eyes. "I'm— I just... Look, it's not safe for a girl to be out at night. Haven't you heard the news about that unidentified person who stabbed that patient from room 406? You also look like you'll faint at any moment. Can you at least take care of yourself?" 

She blinked. His worry was the last thing she expected. "I'm fine. This road is safe." 

"You're too naive."

"Can you at least care like a normal person without insulting me?"
 
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice earnest, as he took her bag from her shoulder. "Come on. I promise I'll leave once I've walked you home."

Too tired to argue, Kana allowed him to lead the way. 

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That night, Kana had the same dream. Only, the previous faceless corpse was not faceless anymore. It had a familiar jaw and slope of the nose. Just when she focused on the color of his hair, she woke up. 

She turned the new information over in her mind. It was a male corpse, and it felt like she knew him. But... why?

Chapter Text

On the second week of his 'immersion', Aqua came up to her at lunch with a small smile. "Dr. Arima, I will accompany you tonight for your night shift."

It was enough to make her lose her appetite. "Huh?"

"Taiki— Dr. Kamiki," he corrected himself. "Approved of it. They say the night shift has more exciting cases."

Kana lowered her fork and leveled him with a disapproving look. "Aqua, this is a small provincial hospital. The only excitement we get is farmers losing their bloody fingers from tractor accidents, and that usually happens, you know, in the morning when they're actually working."

"You don't get easily disgusted with gore. You should be in surgery. But you probably couldn't reach the operating table with your height," he commented.

She stabbed her knife in her half-eaten tonkatsu. "Do you want to be like this piece of meat?" she threatened.

His smile did not falter. "As a doctor, you should shy away from violence, Dr. Arima. All I'm saying is that you're small and cute. It's a compliment."

Her cheeks reddened, both from anger and embarrassment. "You're insane."

He ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled. "Maybe I am. You're the only who makes me act like this. I'll see you later." 

Kana let out a frustrated growl and slammed her forehead against the table when Aqua had left. Beside her, Dr. Akane Kurokawa, her fellow resident, patted the back of her head, looking at her in sympathy. "There, there, Kana."

"Why is he torturing me?" Kana cried. 

"He's acting childish, teasing the girl he likes," the blue-haired doctor mused.

"Why does he like me? He doesn't even know me! I swear, he's crazy!"

"Crazily in love with you," Akane giggled, earning a whine from the red-haired doctor. "Maybe you should go on a date with him and turn him down properly."

"Will that work?" Kana asked, her voice hopeful. "But I don't want anything to do with him in the first place! Hey Akane, do you think we could exchange shifts?"

Akane smiled sadly. "As much as I adore you, Kana, I'm afraid I can't take over your shift tonight."

"Dammit!"

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Kana opened her medical textbook and glared at Aqua who sat on the opposite end of the long table in the residents' office. "Listen here, you pervert—"

"I'm not a pervert—"

"Listen," she stressed, her voice rising, which made the blond actor silent. "If you want to stay for the night shift, then please do not disturb me. Do not make any noise, follow me quietly when we get any calls. If you don't, I'm going to send your sorry ass home. Are we clear?"

He nodded in reply.

Pleased, Kana took out her notebook, pens and highlighters. She had an upcoming exam, might as well use this time to study while everything was still calm. Hopefully, there wouldn't be many calls tonight.

She was reading the second paragraph when she saw him move from the corner of her eye and select an anatomy book from the shelf. "What are you doing?"

Aqua went back to his seat and gestured at the book, remaining silent.

"What? Spill it out!"

He raised his eyebrow. "You told me not to talk."

What the hell was that attitude? "Dammit! Then you're allowed to talk when I ask!"

"I'm bored," he answered. "So I'll read to pass the time."

"I bet you're just going to look at the nude drawings," she accused.

Unfazed, he deadpanned, "I told you I'm not a pervert."

"You totally are!"

Huffing, he exchanged the anatomy book for a pharmacology one which he held up for her to see. "Happy?"

She smiled smugly. "Are you sure you can understand that? That's too advanced for you."

He ignored her insult and opened the book to a chapter. "I finished two years of medical school before dropping."

She blinked, surprised. "You did? Why?"

"I came from a family of doctors. Aside from Taiki and my father, my mother is a dermatologist, and my twin sister is studying to become a pediatric oncologist."

She tilted her head. "Then, why did you become an actor?"

He looked up from his book, a mysterious glint in his blue eyes as he surveyed her. "Because I thought I would find you there."

Her heart skipped a beat. She had only known him for a week, but why did he feel familiar? "You're insane," she whispered.

He chuckled and brought his attention back to his book. "I'll just finish my pending projects and then quit so I can go back to medical school. I wanted to become a doctor, anyway."

She could never understand him. He was crazy. 

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She was at the funeral, standing over the familiar corpse. The walls echoed from a haunting scream which she realized, belatedly, was her own, her throat scratched dry and hurting.

This time, Kana was able to look up. The corpse now had a face. It had an eerily familiar shade of blond hair. She stepped back, collapsing on her knees, and screamed his name.

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"Dr. Arima! Dr. Arima!"

Kana snapped her eyes open, taking a moment to adjust to the fluorescent lighting of the office. Beside her, Aqua was holding her by the shoulders, preventing her from falling off her chair. Heart still racing, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "W-What?"

"You fell asleep. You looked like you were having a nightmare," he explained as he steadied her. "Are you alright?"

She wiped the cold sweat from her brows. "I'm fine. Just... tired."

He did not look convinced, but he carefully let her go. "Do you usually have nightmares?"

"When I was young. But they've stopped for so long and only returned recently." The dream might have really shaken her for her to offer him an explanation. But how could she not? Eyes wide, she turned to stare at him. 

Why did the previous faceless corpse in her dream now had his face?

Did she really want to kill Aqua that badly? She almost wanted to laugh at her demented thought. He must have rubbed his insanity on her.

He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like you've seen a ghost?"

"Are you a ghost?" 

He squished her cheeks, causing her to yelp. "Can a ghost do this?"

"Ouch!" she rubbed her abused cheeks. "Why are you so aggressive?!"

This time, he had the decency to avert his eyes and look ashamed, a light blush on his cheeks. "Sorry. You were just cute." Before Kana had the time to react, he continued. "So, what did you dream about? Did you slap someone?"

She snorted. "Like who? A corpse?"

His expression turned serious, and she fidgeted under the sharp scrutiny of his blue eyes. "Yes, a corpse. In a funeral full of white flowers," he replied, his voice even and without an ounce of humor.

A chill ran down her spine. Was it just a coincidence? She leaned away from him, putting distance in an unconscious act to protect herself. "You're scaring me, Aqua."

The fluorescent light flickered, causing her to flinch. "Did you?" he repeated. "Was that your nightmare, Kana Arima?"

She placed both her hands on his shoulders and pushed him away as she stood up. "Seriously, Aqua, stop it! You're scary!" She went to the corner of the room and poured herself a cup of water, her hands visibly shaking.

Thankfully, Aqua remained silent and did not push the topic.

Once she felt more in control of her emotions, she sat back at the table and noticed that her textbook and notes had been pushed to the sides. Instead, there was a pillow in front of her seat which she guessed he must have placed underneath her head when she fell asleep studying. The gesture made her cheeks flushed even as she berated in a small voice, "You shouldn't have bothered. I would have woken up, anyway."

He sat beside her instead of his original position at the far end of the table and returned to his book. "You're welcome, Dr. Arima."

It was the fourth straight day that Aqua was waiting for her at the main door of the hospital. With the revelation that he was the person in her dreams, she had tried to avoid him, thinking that she might be dreaming of him because of how he constantly annoyed her. But he always found her. In the end, she gave up and allowed him to walk her home. 

"I give up," Kana groaned. 

"That's a good choice," Aqua replied as he took her bag. 

"You know, if Dr. Taiki is not available, I can accompany you to a psychiatric consult if you'd like," she said, her tone serious as she stared at him. "You really need help."

"I don't need help. I need you."

Kana tripped, and Aqua grabbed her arm to prevent her from falling. "What the heck?!" she spluttered, her entire face burning red. "Don't you have any shame?!"

Except for the light blush on his cheeks, his face remained impassive. "None. So, will you go out with me?"

Maybe she really did kill his brazen ass in one of her past lives. That might be the real reason why she dreamt of his corpse. With his attitude, it was plausible. She spun on her heels and turned to him, an exasperated expression on her face, "Of course not! You're crazy! Go die!"

"I told you, I already did."

"Crazy bastard!" she huffed. Just then, she caught sight of a woman with long dark-green hair slipping inside the passenger seat of the black Bentley parked a block away. Kana knew who owned that car and her heart raced. "Why is Dr. Shiranui leaving with Dr. Kamiki?" 

Aqua turned his head in the direction her gaze. "They're dating." He raised his eyebrow at the dubious look she sent him. "What? I'm telling the truth."

If they really were, then she needed to see it with her own eyes. Kana rushed to the taxi line, which was thankfully empty, and instructed the driver, "Please follow that black car."

Aqua closed the door behind them and sat next to her. "This is a bad idea. You're going to get your heart broken, you know," he warned, his blue eyes carefully watching her.

She pressed her lips into a thin line. "Why do you care?" she spat. 

"I don't want you to get hurt," he answered quietly. He sighed and patted his right shoulder. "But you're stubborn, so I can't stop you. I'll lend you my shoulder to cry on later."
 
Kana scowled. "I won't cry."

Aqua gave her a knowing look but decided not to reply.

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Dr. Taiki and Dr. Frill Shiranui ate dinner at a cozy cafe, immersed in their conversation. Dr. Taiki had a wide grin on his face as he cracked a joke which made the usual stoic Dr. Shiranui smile.

"I told you they are on a date," Aqua said as he drank his iced tea. They sat at the same cafe, a row of flowerpots blocking them from the view of the couple.

She shot him a dirty look. "They might just be friends catching up."

With a bored expression, he took Kana's left hand and intertwined their fingers together, mirroring Dr. Taiki and Dr. Shiranui's hands. "Yeah, 'cause friends hold hands like this while talking."

Kana pulled her hand away as if burned, a blush on her cheeks. Just when she thought he was being agreeable, he did these weird things. "H-hey!"

"You're really stubborn. Don't you think this is enough? Give up on Taiki. There are plenty of other guys around."

"I never asked you to come in the first place," she scoffed, her attention already back to the couple. "Mind your own business. Just leave!"

He propped his chin against his palm and frowned. "I can't do that. Not again," he muttered. 

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An hour later, the Dr. Taiki and Dr. Shiranui finished their dinner, left the cafe and walked hand-in-hand along the riverside path. Both were absorbed in their own world and did not notice Aqua and Kana following them. When they reached a much quieter part of the path, Dr. Taiki had leaned down and kissed Dr. Shiranui on the lips. 

Kana's stomach sank, an icy feeling wrapping around her heart.

The scene in front of her vanished as Aqua wound his arm around her shoulder and covered her eyes. "That's enough," he said in a quiet voice from behind her.

Pivoting on her heels, she pulled down his hand from her eyes and walked away. Her tone was steady. "You're right. They're dating. Let's go home."

The taxi ride back was silent. From the corner of her eye, she could see the blond actor staring at her. She did not rebuke him, and he did not start any conversation. It was only when they reached the hospital dormitory that he finally spoke. "Are you okay?"

Her hand stilled on the entrance door of the building. She kept her back to him. "Like I said, I won't cry. You should go home now, Aqua. Thanks for accompanying me today."

There was a pregnant pause, then the sound of shuffling of shoes against the pavement echoed as he returned to the waiting taxi. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Arima."

Kana waited until the taxi's engine quieted in the distance before she finally cried, the tears she was holding back sliding down her cheeks. Dr. Taiki had been her idol, the one person who believed in her from the first day of her residency, the one who continuously encouraged her despite her shortcomings. It was a simple crush that stemmed from deep admiration. Still, it hurt. "Dammit."

Footsteps echoed from behind her. Alerted, Kana turned and was met by an arm that pressed her head against the person's shoulder. "Stubborn woman," Aqua muttered, his hold warm and firm, keeping her in place. "Like I said, you can use my shoulder."

Dammit, I don't need him, Kana berated herself even if a part of her was grateful he stayed. She balled her fists, keeping her arms on her sides, fighting the urge to hug him back as her tears soaked his jacket.

Tonight, Kana allowed herself to cry for her failed love. Tomorrow, she promised herself that she would be back to normal, maybe even greet Dr. Taiki and congratulate him on his relationship. But just for tonight, she would mourn. 

Aqua was silent as he held her until her cries quieted.

Chapter Text

Kana opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. It was the first time in weeks since she had a well-rested sleep. She did not have the same funeral nightmare. Instead, she dreamt of singing and dancing on stage in the middle of a cheering crowd. But there was one person in the crowd who caught her attention, enthusiastically waving his white penlight to the beat.

His blond hair and blue eyes were familiar. Why the hell was Aqua in her dream again? 

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Another weird dream. But at least, this left her with a warm feeling of happiness instead of the agony and horror of the funeral nightmare.

Kana let out a long sigh and rested her cheek against the table. The Residency In-Service Exam was done, and she felt she did well, despite her cramming. The nightmares had not occurred since, and she could rest before taking the exam. Aqua, too, had been agreeable for the past three days. He was not annoying her and instead kept quiet in the days leading to the exam. 

She smiled. Everything was going well. Nothing was going to destroy her good mood. 

There was a clunk as a canned coffee was placed beside her head. Opening her eyes, she saw Aqua peering down at her. "Good job on your exam," he remarked.

She sat up, opened the can, and gave him a rare smile. "Thanks!"

"Now that your exams are done, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?"

She almost spit out the coffee she was drinking. "What?"

"Dinner. Tomorrow," he repeated, his face impassive, waiting for her answer. "You're not on duty, are you?"

"And I thought you've finally stopped your weird antics. Wishful thinking, huh," Kana commented with a shake of her head. 

"It's not weird," Aqua countered. "I'm properly asking you out on a date."

Cheeks flushed, Kana opened her mouth to decline but paused. Maybe she should take Akane's advice and turn him down properly. He was empathetic during the time she was sad with Dr. Taiki's new love, and he did not annoy her during the time she was cramming for her exams. She should extend the same kindness to the poor guy, even if he was weird. "Alright, fine."

"Oh." Aqua looked surprised that she agreed. A hint of a smile was on his lips. "Then I'll pick you up in the hospital dorm tomorrow at five—"

"But on one condition," Kana added, her eyes locked on his own. "Let me bring a friend."

"Kana, I know I'm your friend. But don't you think this is absurd? How could you bring me on your date?!"

Kana stopped tapping her foot against the pavement and looked at her friend of over ten years who stood with her at the hospital dorm's front door, waiting. "Melt, it's not really a date with three people, is it? He's just taking both of us to dinner."

Melt Narushima raised his eyebrows incredulously and pointed at her clothes. "You're wearing that and yet this is not a date?!"

The red-haired doctor blushed and looked down at her outfit. Akane had somehow found out about tonight's dinner and had barged into her room to help her prepare, her blue-green eyes glinting in excitement. She had chosen a cream turtleneck, maroon miniskirt, and knee-high black boots. Akane had not stopped there and even curled Kana's short hair and applied light make-up, finishing the look with a pink lip tint for a cute yet sexy appeal. "This is all Akane's fault."

"Is this 'Aqua' really a bad person? He's an actor right? So he's probably rich and handsome. What more are you asking for? What's wrong with him?" Melt asked. 
 
Kana paused in deep thought before replying. Aqua did have some good points. He was observant and cared earnestly for the patients, and his patience and persistence despite her constant rejections were admirable. But in the end, "...He's just too much. I don't know how I should handle him."

Melt scratched his head in frustration. "I can't understand you!"

The arrival of a silver Bentley in the driveway, precisely on time, interrupted their conversation. Aqua exited the vehicle from the backseat, dressed in a gray button-down shirt and white trousers, topped with a navy blue jacket and dark leather shoes. Wisps of his blond hair was tucked behind his right ear with his usual silver stud. There was an air of casual confidence in his stride as he made his way towards them.

"Wow," Melt blinked in surprise. "He's super handsome and cool."

Kana grabbed Melt's arm and muttered, "He's a show-off." 

"Good evening, Dr. Arima," Aqua greeted. His blue eyes slightly narrowed at Kana's hold on Melt's arm before focusing on the purple-haired doctor's face. "You must be Dr. Arima's friend. Nice to meet you. My name's Aquamarine Kamiki."

"Ah yes!" Melt extended his arm and shook the blond's hand. "I'm Melt Narushima. Thank you for allowing me to join you today."

"We're childhood friends. We went to med school together," Kana added, her crimson eyes observing Aqua. Was he actually jealous? "Melt is a second year pediatric resident."

"What a coincidence. My twin sister is also taking up pediatrics."
 
"Really? Wait— is your sister named Ruby?" Melt asked. He beamed when Aqua nodded. "I knew it! You look so much alike! I met Ruby at a conference earlier this year and she mentioned you a lot!"

"She did?" Aqua asked, surprised.

"Yeah, she said her twin brother topped his class in medical school but dropped out to become an actor instead! She's super proud of you for choosing your own path." 

Kana knew Aqua went to med school. But him being a stellar student on top of his good looks? That was life proving itself to be unfair. 

"Ruby said you wanted to be a surgeon." Melt continued, his attention still on the blond actor as he chatted excitedly. "Was anatomy your favorite subject? Urgh, I sucked at that. The cadavers gave me the creeps. But not as bad as Kana here who fainted—"

"I did not faint," Kana snapped. It was the one memory from medical school that Melt had to bring up. "It's the smell. Formalin made me dizzy!"

"Yeah, yeah. Still, I had to carry you out. Almost broke my back." Kana gasped and Melt quickly changed the topic as he placed his arm around Aqua's shoulder. "So Aqua, how's life as an actor? Do you get more sleep than us doctors?"

His blue eyes were curious, but he opted not to pry on Kana's cadaver mishap. "Not much. But the pay is good."

"Damn, really? I really should have grabbed that chance when I was scouted in middle school!"

"You have a good face," Aqua said. "If you're interested, I can introduce you to some people."

Melt had the audacity to blush at the off-handed compliment. "Really? Haha! Maybe I'll take up on your offer one day!"

Kana stared at her childhood friend in disbelief. Melt and Aqua had somehow clicked and became instant friends. What the hell?

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The three of them sat in the backseat with Melt in the middle. The purple-haired doctor continued to talk animatedly to Aqua. So far, Melt had shared to Aqua an abridged version of their childhood and snippets of their life in middle school, high school and eventually in medical school. 

In a twist of events, Kana found herself as the third wheel on this date.

She should be grateful... right? At this rate, she could just eat quietly and go home without interacting with the blond actor. It was a good thing that Aqua was more interested in Melt even after she had put the effort to look good tonight— 

Kana's eyes widened in shock at the thought. No, stop! She did not dress up for him. This was all Akane's idea. Frustrated, she thumped her forehead against the window. He was really driving her crazy. 

Her eyes met his blue ones reflected on the window. Even though he was listening to Melt, he was still watching her. 

Blushing, Kana looked away.

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Aqua brought them to a fancy French restaurant in a hotel located half an hour away from the hospital. They were ushered into an exquisite private room overlooking the river. Kana pulled Melt to sit on her right, while Aqua repositioned his chair so he sat directly opposite her.

Melt, who ended up sitting in between the two, sighed. "Okay, this is awkward." Neither responded.

The server arrived and handed the menu. Eyes wide, Melt coughed and leaned over her with a whisper, "Why the hell is this so expensive? I can't even pronounce more than half of these dishes!"

Was this a way to make fun of them as country bumpkins? Kana peered at Aqua, who was busy looking at the menu. "Show-off," she muttered.

Whether he heard her scathing remark, he did not give any indication. "Do you have any allergies, Dr. Narushima? Any food preferences?"

"N-none," Melt replied, slightly taken aback at the question directed only at him. He gave Kana a side-glance. "Um, Kana doesn't have any allergies too. We'll be fine with anything you choose."

Aqua nodded and proceeded to order for the group. With an approving expression, Melt looked back at Kana and mouthed, "He seems nice!"

The red-haired doctor shook her head in exasperation. That was it. Her best friend was sold.

The rest of the dinner was filled with Melt's stories. Aqua listened attentively, interjecting at times to ask polite questions. Kana opted to focus on her food, determined to remain invisible for the rest of the evening.

Before the dessert was served, she quietly excused herself to go to the restroom. When she returned, her eyes narrowed with suspicion upon noticing that their group was missing one person. "Where's Melt?" she asked. 

Aqua looked up from his chocolate pots de Crème. "Dr. Narushima had a headache and asked if he could go home early. I instructed the driver to bring him back to the dorms."

Kana sat opposite him just as her phone vibrated. Enjoy!' read Melt's text. She scowled. "You know he's lying," she accused the blond actor.

He shrugged, "Who am I to doubt a doctor?" 

She cursed under her breath. His lips quirked in a small smile, but it did not reach his eyes.

"Eat your dessert. I'll bring you home once the car returns."

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Time seemed to stretch longer as they waited for the car to return. They had finished dinner and settled on waiting at the park across the hotel, the cool night breeze a refreshing alternative to the awkward air that hung over the two at the restaurant.

In the distance, a group of young high school boys were playing soccer, their laughter echoing. Another group, this time of high school girls were giggling over their phones. An elderly couple on their bikes passed them by.

Aqua led the way, his steps mindful of her pace. His blue eyes were staring ahead, hands in his pockets. How he seemed to blend in the crowd like a ghost despite his astounding looks was beyond her. Finally, they reached the quieter part of the park overlooking the river. 

She became used to him being annoying, but his silence unnerved her. It was unnatural, just like the quiet storm brewing in his usually clear blue eyes. Kana blinked. Why should she be concerned with him? Shouldn't she be thankful that he finally acted like a normal person and not some lunatic who spewed nonsense from time to time? Silence meant peace. Wasn't that what she wanted? 

But why did he invite her on a date if he would not talk to her?

In the end, her curiosity won. "So," she cleared her throat, hoping not to sound too interested, "What's bothering you?" 

"...Nothing."

A vein ticked on her forehead. Clearly it was nothing when he took a moment to reply and he set a careful mask on his features. It did nothing to hide his distant eyes. It made Kana angrier— how dare he hide things from her? ...And how the hell did she know him that well to notice?! "Liar," she accused. 

Aqua's blue eyes widened. Guilt was clearly written on his face. "I—"

"You know what? I don't really care," she waved her hand dismissively. "I'm probably boring you. Sorry I'm not Melt whom you seemed to enjoy being with."

He opened his mouth and then closed it, brows furrowed in deep thought. Finally, he asked, "Are you jealous?"

Kana choked, her cheeks flaming. "M-me? Jealous?! AS IF!"

She wanted to wipe that stupid grin beginning to form on his face. His tone was teasing. "Don't worry, I still enjoy your company the most, Dr. Arima."

She hit his arm. "Damn it! I told you I'm NOT jealous!"

He chuckled, unconvinced. "Yeah, yeah."

"Hey! Damn it!" She was hitting him with both her arms now. "Are you even listening, Aqua?!"

"Hmm." Aqua held her elbows to stop her, pulling her close. His blue eyes were curious as he studied her. 

Kana's breath hitched, and her heart skipped a beat. She forced herself not to look away despite the heat on her cheeks. "Just tell the truth, stupid," she muttered.

"What I was thinking," Aqua started, his voice soft. "Is that I'm glad you had a happy childhood this time."

"Huh?" She tilted her head to the side. It definitely was not an answer she expected. "Is this because of all those things Melt said?"

"You have loving parents. You grew up doing the things you wanted. You were never alone— you have a loyal childhood friend." He smiled. "I'm glad."

"That's it? Why does it matter to you?" Kana narrowed her eyes and attempted to throw his question back at him. "Are you jealous?"

"Perhaps." His smile dropped a little. "I'm not confident that I can make you happier than you are now." 

Was it even possible that her face could turn any redder? How could he say those things as if he was merely describing the weather? "HA?? I swear, you're the type to say whatever comes to your mind. Your mind is weird, so please be careful with that!"

"You told me not to lie."

She tugged her elbows away, but his hold was firm. "Weirdo," she muttered, looking anywhere but him. She sighed. "Aqua, I'm the one in-charge of my happiness. And you're the one in-charge of your own happiness."

His expression was unreadable. He was quiet for a while until, "I see."

Determined to save herself from further embarrassment, she tried to change the topic. "How much was dinner anyway? I don't want to owe you anything, so let me pay half."

He shook his head. "No. It's my treat."

"I said I don't want to owe you—"

"You can repay me in other ways."

"How?" she asked suspiciously. "If it's another date, then no."

Aqua was silent for a while before he finally answered. Was that a hint of a blush on his cheeks? "Can I hug you?"

Kana's eyes widened. She opened her mouth, ready to berate him about how absurd his idea was and that he was a greater pervert than she had actually thought, but what came out of her lips was, "Fine."

Aqua looked equally surprised. "Really?"

She was sure his weirdness was rubbing to her. Because why in the world would she say that? Her face burned red. She wanted to dig and jump into her own grave. Arms flailing, she tried to explain, "I mean— you look so dejected and pathetic! I couldn't help but pity you! Ten seconds! That's it, okay? Just ten seconds and no inappropriate touching!" 

He took a step forward. This close, the difference in their height was striking. She had to crane her neck to look up while his blue eyes stared down at her, filled with an emotion she was unfamiliar with— it couldn't be longing, could it? "Alright."

Her breath caught in her throat as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in the crook of her neck. Kana stood transfixed, hoping he would not notice how her heart fluttered, her pulse thundering loudly in her ears. She became acutely aware of how warm he was, how soft his blond hair was tickling her jaw, and how his cologne smelled of wood sage and sea salt.

His shoulders shook. And somehow, it made her heart twist painfully.

Ten seconds felt as long as an eternity and as short as a blink of an eye all at once. Kana raised her arm, intending to signal him to let go, but instead, she placed her palm against his shoulder blade in a silent, comforting gesture. 

Why was Aqua so attached to her? Why was he doing all these things for her? Who was he really? And— who was she to him?

The explanation would have to wait, because for now, all Kana wanted to do was cry with him.

Chapter Text

It was a few days later when Kana found Melt at the hospital's pediatric wing. Her so-called best friend had deliberately missed her calls and left her angry messages on read. 

He was smiling nervously as she approached like an angry mother hen. "Erm, hi Kana!"

"You left me behind!" Kana snapped furiously. After making sure no child was present, she pinched Melt's left ear and pulled him to a corner.

"H-hey! That hurts!"

"Well, you should have thought twice about leaving me behind!"

"But I was bothering your date," Melt countered while massaging his ear. "Aqua's a good guy. I trust him."

"You've met the guy for the first time!"

"And my instincts tell me he's good. You know how reliable my instincts are, right? Remember when I told you that guy you dated in college was a jerk and you did not believe me? That guy did turn out not only a jerk but also a cheater. Aqua's a hundred times better." He stroked his chin in deep thought. "Why don't you like him anyway? Did something happen?"

Memories of the hug flooded Kana's mind, and she stepped back, cheeks burning. "W-what?"

"Aha!" Melt wagged his eyebrows, a sly grin on his lips. "Something did happen! So did you kiss? Or did you spend the night together?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, idiot!" It irritated her how it seemed she was the only one affected by what happened. Aqua had brought her back to the dorm without saying anything, and the next day he treated her like nothing happened while she became highly conscious of his presence. 

Melt looked around, noticing the absence of the usual blond who accompanied Kana. "Where is he anyway?"

"I shipped him off to surgery. He wanted to observe in the OR," she explained, crossing her arms. He was interested in surgical cases these days. Which was all good, given that she was still figuring out how to navigate around him. 

But... he was not avoiding her, was he?

"Oh, so he's really decided to resume his medical studies." Melt smiled and shifted on his feet. "Uh, I actually needed to talk to you, Kana. Are you free this weekend?"

Feeling suspicious, she asked, "Huh? Why?"

"Well..." the male doctor started as he scratched his nape. "A friend of mine is visiting Miyazaki this weekend, and I kinda told her we could tour her around that newly opened mall in the city..."

"Her?" Kana raised her eyebrow. "We?"

"Yeah." He pointed to himself and her. "We." When she opened her mouth to protest, he continued, "I accompanied you to your date, so can you do me this favor? Please? Come on, Kana. She'll feel more comfortable with the two of us."

Unconvinced, Kana continued to probe. "You're usually not this considerate. Who's this girl?" 

"Oh... you know, Ruby—" Melt laughed awkwardly. "Dr. Ruby Kamiki, Aqua's twin sister."

"What?!"

Melt Narushima should quit being a doctor and instead become a salesperson with how good his persuasive charms were. That Saturday morning, Kana found herself waiting at the train station with Melt.

"Ruby!" Melt waved at the person coming their way. 

"Hi Melt!" Ruby Kamiki was as gorgeous and stylish as her brother, with long blond hair, wide sweet smile, and radiant eyes of her namesake. It was no surprise that Melt was smitten with her— he did like cutesy girls who looked like those popular idols. "I hope you don't mind if my brother joined us today?" Ruby gestured to the tall man behind her, and only then did Kana notice Aqua. "He's just too much of a siscon."

"No problem!" Melt laughed hesitantly, sneaking a glance at Kana who unconsciously stepped back. "We've met before." 

Aqua nodded in silent greeting. 

Ruby sighed and shook her head. "That's what I said, but Aqua's just too overprotective." Her pink-ruby eyes then landed at Kana. "Oh, is she that friend you told me about, Melt?"

"Yeah. This is my childhood friend, Kana Arima. She's a second year internal medicine resident from the same hospital."

Kana extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Ruby."

Ruby took her hand but did not let go. Tilting her head, her gaze was curious. "Your name... is Kana Arima?"

An uncomfortable feeling settled in Kana's stomach. "Uhh... Yes?"

Kana could almost see the gears turn inside Ruby's brain as her eyes flashed with understanding. "Oh my goodness! So you really exist!" Ruby turned to her brother, eyes wide. "I can't believe it! Aqua, you're not insane!"

Melt looked at Kana and then at the twins in confusion. "What? What's happening?"

"Ruby—"

"Kana Arima— she's here! She's real! I can't believe it!" Ruby continued excitedly. "Aqua, weren't you looking for her since we were— seven? eight years old? Remember? That started around the time you almost drowned in Okinawa! I thought you've gone crazy! You'd secretly check our school list every year for 'Kana Arima', and even the cast list for all your projects. Mama, papa and Taiki might not have noticed, but I did!"

"Ruby. Stop it," Aqua said in a firm tone.

"What?" came Kana's confused tone.

It was not enough to stop Ruby. Her attention was back at Kana, surveying her from head to foot. "You are so cute! And you have red hair! So that rumor about my brother liking girls with red hair is actually true! How long have you been together?"

Nothing was making sense, and all this information made Kana's head spin. "Ha? We're not together!"

"Ruby." Aqua stepped forward and held Ruby's shoulders to physically stop her rambling. "You're making Dr. Arima uncomfortable." He turned to Kana, his expression apologetic. "Sorry, Dr. Arima. Please don't mind what my sister said."

Ruby craned her neck to look at her brother. "But—"

"Ruby," Aqua's tone left no room for argument.

Sighing, Ruby relented. "Fine. But I want to be with Dr. Arima." She linked her arms with Kana and smiled widely. "Let's go, Kana— can I call you that?" When Kana nodded, Ruby turned to Melt. "Come on, Melt, where are we going today?"

"Ah, right," Melt snapped out from his confusion and led the way. Kana sneaked a glance at Aqua who walked behind them. His face was blank but when their eyes met, he gave her a self-reproachful nod.

Kana forced herself to avert her eyes. What the hell was going on?

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Ruby was a bubbling ball of energy. She radiated a charming little sister aura that Kana, as an only child, could not resist. The younger girl had pulled her into different stores, asking for her opinion on different items and Kana had happily answered.

"The pink or the blue?" Ruby asked as she emerged from the dressing room.

Kana crossed her arms and assessed the dress with a critical eye. "Pink. Come on, Ruby, that blue clashes horribly with your eyes."

This greatly pleased Ruby. "Right? I thought so too! You're a godsend, Kana!" Ruby glanced at Aqua waiting outside from the window, a scowl on her lips. "My brothers would just say 'okay' to everything while you are very honest." She smiled brightly. "I love you already, Kana! We're getting along so well!"

Kana smiled back. While Melt was her longtime best friend and Akane was a trusted co-worker, she had always wanted a sister. "You're definitely much agreeable than your brother."

"Aqua?" Ruby echoed from the other side of the curtain while she changed. "I understand you. He can be annoying."

"Annoying is an understatement," Kana mumbled.

The blond girl laughed as she emerged, the pink dress on her arms. They walked to the cashier to pay. "He's usually quiet but then becomes this nosy, protective older brother. I know he means well." She gave the older girl a curious look. "I can't imagine how he is with you, since you're the girl he's been looking for."

Outside, Aqua was absorbed in a conversation with Melt. Kana looked down at her feet. "I don't even know why he was looking for me. He's probably mistaken me for someone else."

Ruby thanked the saleslady and linked her arms with Kana, a sympathetic smile on her face. "I honestly don't know. You'll have to ask Aqua, he's been tight-lipped ever since. Maybe you're one of those star-crossed soulmates who met as kids?"

"That's impossible." If they had met when they were young, she would have remembered someone like him. 

'But you do remember', a voice in her head quietly reminded her. 'Except he's a corpse in your memories.'

Kana shook her head, hoping to clear her thoughts.

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The rest of the afternoon was spent in different cafes. Ruby had a massive sweet tooth and was excited to taste the selection of desserts. Melt had helped her choose the cakes and pastries to try while Kana, like Aqua, settled for black coffee.

"You don't like sweets, Dr. Arima?" Aqua asked her as they watched Ruby giggle after a bite of the chocolate caramel cake. 

Kana flinched. It was their first conversation of the day. He had kept himself mostly in the background, interacting with Melt, and leaving her with his sister. She took a sip of her coffee, savoring the bitter liquid a moment longer before answering. "Not much." She coughed. "How about you?"

"Not as much as Taiki and Ruby," he answered with a shake of his head. "They could eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

Melt and Ruby continued their conversation on which parfait to try next. This was alright. She and Aqua were discussing safe topics. There was nothing to be overtly conscious about, despite their shoulders almost touching as they sat next to each other at the small round table. Kana berated herself at her unnatural behavior— just because of a simple hug? Frustrated, she pressed her lips into a thin line. This was all Aqua's fault.

The said person seemed to notice her souring mood. He tilted his head to look at her. "Is there something wrong?"

She should have answered 'no' and that should have been the end of it. Instead, her mouth prattled faster than her brain. "What did Ruby mean when she said you were looking for me for a long time?"

His eyes widened, and he looked away. "Ruby's talking nonsense."

"I don't think it's nonsense when you've acted like a crazy stalker ever since we met," Kana countered in a matter-of-fact tone. 

Aqua was silent for a while, his eyes conflicted as he swirled the contents of his cup. Kana almost gave up waiting for an answer when he replied in a soft voice, "You'll probably hate me even more if you knew."

Kana blinked. "Hate you? Why? I don't hate you." 

It was his turn to be surprised. "You don't?"

"Well," Her cheeks flushed. Why did she say that? She had half the mind to run away. "Hate is a harsh term... Sometimes you're annoying and weird, but I don't..." Her voice became quieter. "I don't really hate you."

Kana's heart skipped a beat. Ah, so Aqua could smile like that— it was bright and even a tad affectionate at the same time. It made his blue eyes twinkle. "Ah... I'm glad."

That was the last straw. She should really leave now before the blush on her cheeks overwhelmed her. She stood up and grabbed her purse. "I- I should go. Need to finish a report," she mumbled an excuse, unable to meet the eyes of her companions. "Now."

Melt and Ruby looked up from their conversation. Ruby looked worried. "Huh? Already?" She nudged her brother. "You should accompany Kana home, Aqua."

"Really, I can go home by myself—"

Panicking, Kana scrambled for another excuse, but Aqua was already standing up as he took his phone from his pocket. "I'll call Saitou to pick you up by car, Ruby. Will you be alright to wait?"

Ruby offered her brother a thumbs up. "No worries! Melt is here. Besides, we have a lot of desserts to finish."

"I'll make sure Ruby gets home safely," Melt assured.

Aqua nodded and turned to Kana "Let's go, Dr. Arima."

"You don't need to—" Kana tried, but Aqua was already walking toward the train station.

"See you again, Kana!" Ruby waved, a wide grin on her lips.

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By some twist of fate, Kana was stuck in an overcrowded train with the person she wanted to run away from.

"Sorry," Aqua murmured near her ear as another wave of passengers entered the carriage, forcing them to the other side. He was standing in front of her, one arm above her head, while the other was beside her shoulder, supporting his frame from crushing her against the closed door. "It's quite cramped."

Kana meekly nodded, her arms hugging her purse tightly against her chest, silently praying that he would not notice how fast her heart was beating. Why the hell was she acting like a high school girl on the cusp of her first romance? She was more mature than this, damn it.

The crowd should decrease in the next few stops. They were not going to be this close for the entire duration of the forty-minute train ride, were they? 

Taking a deep calming breath proved to be a mistake, as her senses were filled with Aqua's cologne— wood sage and sea salt. She blushed. How can he still smell nice even after a day out? It must be an expensive perfume or do all actors— 

Her head snapped up in alarm. Aqua was an actor on a crowded train. What if someone recognized him despite being dressed in casual clothing and his hair tousled in its natural state? He was still too handsome!

Without thinking, she grasped the hood of his dark jacket and forcefully pulled it over his head. It effectively covered his face, but what she did not anticipate was the action brought his face closer to hers, their noses bumping.

Her breath got caught in her throat just as a tinge of red colored his cheeks, his eyes widening in surprise. 

It was cute...

Wait, what the fuck?!

Abruptly, she let him go and looked away. "You should be careful!" she snapped in a hushed voice. "What if someone recognizes you? Stupid!"

There was a hint of mischief in Aqua's clear blue eyes, his voice teasing, "I thought you were going to kiss me."

"W-What?!" If possible, her cheeks turned darker. "Who the hell wants to kiss someone like you?! Don't be presumptuous!" 

Aqua chuckled. Kana wanted the earth to swallow her in embarrassment.

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There was no denying it— Kana had the worst luck.

As if the awkward train ride was not enough, it was raining when they emerged from the station. Grasping her foldable umbrella, Kana turned to Aqua who obviously did not have one. "You should wait here for your driver. I have an umbrella so I'll be going ahead."

He shook his head. "I can't let you go alone. It's not safe." 

"What?" Kana opened her white umbrella with red cherry patterns. "But my umbrella's too small for us!"

He readjusted the hood of his jacket over his head. "It's fine. I'll walk you home." 

"B-but!"

"I'll ask Taiki to pick me up at the hospital dorm." He took the umbrella from her hand. "He's nearer. Come on."

Left with no other excuse, Kana crossed her arms and huffed, allowing Aqua to lead the way. "You're too stubborn!"

He had a small smile as he glanced at her. Did he take pleasure in teasing her? "You're adorable."

Her cheeks flushed. "W-what?!" 

"Your adorable—" Aqua repeated smoothly as he looked up, "—umbrella. It's cute."

Kana wanted to pull at her hair, annoyed at his teasing and annoyed at herself for falling every single time. "Ugh! I hate you, Aqua!"

"You said you didn't hate me," he reminded.

"Well, now I do!" she snapped, turning away to hide her flaming cheeks. 

The sun had long set, the amber glow of the streetlights reflected in the puddles that formed from the rain. The full moon peeked out from behind the heavy clouds, teasing its glimmer.

The walk was silent for a few minutes until Aqua asked, "Did you have fun today?"

Kana tilted her head to look at him, "Fun? Well, your sister is charming." She scrunched her nose. "Unlike you."

He did not look offended. "I knew you and Ruby would get along. I know my sister also had fun. Thank you, Dr. Arima."

"Siscon," Kana muttered with a side-eye. He merely chuckled in reply.

The pitter-patter continued, the cool air filled with the scent of the damp earth. The rain was not letting up and his right shoulder was getting soaked. Curiously, Kana looked up. Aqua had angled the umbrella so that she was kept dry but it barely covered him. Her heart fluttered. Why? Why was he doing these for her? Did he really like her that much?

Hesitantly, she stepped closer to him so that her shoulder was touching his arm. Aqua had stiffened and his grip on the handle of the umbrella tightened. "Hold the umbrella properly, will you?" she mumbled, looking down to avoid his eyes. "I don't want to be blamed if you get sick from the rain."

Aqua smiled. "You're a doctor. You can take care of me if I get sick."

"HA?? I won't! What kind of delusions do you have in your head?!" she shrieked as she glared at him, face red. 

"You're one of the best doctors in the hospital. I trust you with my life," he continued, his eyes playful.

"Damn it!" she stomped her foot. "Stop teasing me!"

He was laughing now as he evaded her fists. His gaze was filled with warmth and it made her heart thrum pleasantly and her stomach flip. 

"Aqua, damn it!"

Then, abruptly, Aqua fell silent, his eyes shifting from her to the road ahead. His voice was quiet, "Kana." 

Her eyes widened, ready to yell expletives at his imprudence in calling her by her first name.

But Aqua grabbed her upper arm and pulled her behind him. His grip was firm, his voice urgent. "When I say 'go', I need you to run as fast as you can. The hospital— it's nearer. Call for help."

His rigid countenance scared her. "W-What?" She turned her head in the direction of his intense gaze. The road was deserted, except for a man standing a few feet away, drenched from the rain. His bowed face was concealed under the shadow of his black hoodie, his hands shoved inside the front pocket of his jacket. 

"Don't look back." Aqua stepped forward. Closing the umbrella, he placed it in front of them like a weapon. "I won't let him hurt you again."

Confused, Kana's eyes darted from the unknown man and then back to Aqua. "Aqua, what the hell is going on?"

"Kana, go!" Aqua shouted just as the unknown man raised his head, a sinister grin on his lips. He pulled a knife from his jacket and ran towards her.

Kana screamed. Aqua deflected the knife with the umbrella and threw a punch on the assailant's face with the other. For a moment, the unknown man lost his balance, but just as soon, his eyes glinted maniacally and he lunged forward. Kana watched in horror as the knife slipped from Aqua's hand and embedded deep into his abdomen.

Aqua grabbed the assailant's hand holding the knife to keep him in place and with the last of his strength, he threw another punch, hitting the man on the jaw. The assailant keeled over, banging his head against the pavement, unconscious. 

It was over as soon as it began. Kana caught Aqua as he staggered, collapsing on his knees. His hands pressed against his abdomen, the blood from his wound rapidly staining his clothes.

"Oh gods, Aqua!" Hastily, Kana removed her beige cardigan and pressed it against the stab wound, careful not to dislodge the knife that kept him from further bleeding out. With her other trembling hand, she reached for her phone and called the emergency services.

Aqua's face was pale. "Shit, not again..." he moaned in a weak voice.

"Stop talking! Conserve your energy!" she cried, her tears mingling with the rain as they fell down her cheeks. Her hands and her beige cardigan were soaked red.

"Go, Arima... You need to go to a safe place..." 

"Shut up, Aqua!" In the distance, she could hear the blaring siren of the ambulance echoing in tandem with her racing heart. He could still be saved, but he needed to be brought to the hospital soon. "I swear if you die, I'm going to slap your fucking corpse again!"

His blue eyes widened. His attempt to laugh turned into a garbled coughing fit. "You remembered..."

"I don't know!" The ground was both cold with the rain and warm from his blood. "So you can't die, because you're going to explain everything, Aqua! You can't die!"

"T-Thank goodness... I can save you this time..." Aqua closed his eyes, the corner of his lips tilting into a small smile.

Chapter Text

Compared to the last time he was reincarnated, the memories of his past did not manifest until he was seven years old.

Ironically, this happened after Aqua nearly drowned while on a family vacation in Okinawa. He slipped, purely on accident, hit his head at the edge of the children's pool, lost consciousness and fell. 

By the time he woke up in the hospital, he had remembered his life as Aquamarine Hoshino. There was joy upon seeing Ai again as she hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead in relief that he was safe. Taiki reached out to ruffle his damp hair while his other arm held Ruby who was crying loudly for her brother not to die. Behind them was Hikaru—

Hikaru Kamiki.

Aqua screamed and thrashed against Ai's embrace. "GET HIM AWAY! NO! GET HIM AWAY!" 

"Aqua, what's wrong? Please calm down!" Ai pleaded, confused by her son's reaction. But he would not be appeased until a doctor came to sedate him.

The next few weeks were hell. Confused, scared and reeling in shock, Aqua stopped talking and spent his days huddled alone, his eyes hollow. Ruby was too young to understand what was happening and Taiki, despite his attempts to spend time with him as his favorite big brother, could not get him to open up. Ai held him close during his panic attacks, which were usually triggered by seeing his father. And his father, Hikaru Kamiki—

—No, Aquamarine Hoshino's murderer and victim, Hikaru Kamiki, was at a loss with his son's fear of him, his violet eyes full of worry as he stayed away, unable to get close to Aqua without risking another meltdown.

In the end, Aquamarine Kamiki was admitted to a hospital in Tokyo for observation and counseling. All test results came back normal, and he spent days with the best child counselors, all of whom were unsuccessful in making him speak. 

It was all in his head. No one else— not Ai, not Ruby, not Taiki... and not even Hikaru Kamiki— had memories of the past. How it happened, he did not know. Why it was only him, he could not answer. 

The nightmares— the memories of the icy water filling his lungs as he struggled to breathe— plagued him. He would wake up in cold sweat, hugging his knees against his chest in a desperate attempt to calm down and keep his cries quiet so as not to wake up Ai. His mother rarely left his side. Aqua knew how selfish that was. Ruby and Taiki equally needed their mother back.

Tonight, however, when he woke up, there was another presence in the hospital room. A nurse had been replacing his IV drip, and her long silver hair and brownish-red eyes made him freeze.

"Hello," the nurse greeted with a wry smile, her voice deep and her body that of a young woman instead of the child in Aquamarine Hoshino's memories. "You've awakened. Congratulations."

"...Why?" Aqua croaked, his voice coming out for the first time in weeks. He glanced over Ai who remained asleep. 

"Does it even matter?" the nurse asked with a tilt of her head. "Shouldn't you just be grateful to be given another chance? You have a perfect life too."

Aqua gripped the sheets tightly in his small hands. "...How?"

"How did this happen? I don't know. I don't make the rules." The nurse paused for a moment, her index finger tapping her chin as if in deep thought. "But maybe... she was enough of a sacrifice?"

She? His eyes widened as the last memory of Aquamarine Hoshino flashed in his mind— the feeling of immense pain as he remembered Kana Arima dying in his grave, unable to do anything to save her. "...Where is she?"

The nurse's mocking laugh was melodious. "Who knows? Weren't you the one who promised to find her? But," she shook her head. "You're clearly wasting your time with how you are acting."

Aqua remained unmoving, "...Is this all real?"

"How would you like it to be?" the nurse answered as she finished her task. "Don't you want to make different choices this time, Aquamarine Kamiki?"

He could not answer, as a wave of drowsiness clouded his mind and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

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.

When he woke up the next morning, Ai was already up by his bedside, her smile warm despite the dark shadows beneath her eyes. "Good morning, Aqua! How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

Clearing his throat, he replied in a voice hoarse from disuse. "Water... a glass of water, please..."

Relief replaced Ai's shock as she threw her arms around him and cried, "Oh, Aqua! Thank goodness, Aqua! I'm so glad... Aqua!"

Three days later, Aquamarine Kamiki was released from the hospital, deemed to be in perfect health.

There was no sign of the silver-haired nurse anywhere.

Gorou Amamiya was dead. Aquamarine Hoshino, too, was dead. But Aquamarine Kamiki was going to live. 

Aquamarine Kamiki started with repairing his relationship with his mother, Ai, then with his siblings Taiki and Ruby. Taiki was determined to be a dependable older brother, while Ruby stuck to him at all times, promising to never leave his side again. The hardest relationship to mend was with his father, who, traumatized with how Aqua used to react, kept his distance. He sought Aqua, brushing the younger boy's blond hair softly, at night when he thought the boy was asleep. Aqua still awoke, but he pretended to sleep, reminding himself that this Hikaru Kamiki was not his enemy and that there was no need to be afraid. 

It was a slow, and arduous process. 

Aqua's grandfather passed away two months later. Being an only child, Hikaru had to go back to Miyazaki to take over his father's hospital. It had been decided that Ai and their children would stay in Tokyo to continue their studies, while Hikaru would stay in Miyazaki until things stabilized. 

On the day his father left, the almost eight-year-old Aqua left his mother's embrace, put on a brave face and hesitantly walked towards his father. "Dad," the word felt foreign and comfortable at the same time. "Take care." 

Hikaru's eyes watered, and he swallowed. Beside him, Ai wiped her own tears. "I... thank you, son," he replied, voice tight with emotions. Kneeling to Aqua's level, he smiled. "I love you, Aqua," he said. "You know that, don't you?" 

The words made him stiffen, the tears prickling his eyes. Looking down, he slowly nodded. "I know, Dad." 

It would take a few more years until the fear finally subsided. For now, this was enough. 

When Aqua went back to school, his next goal was to find her. He had no doubt that she was also in this lifetime. He searched the nearby schools. Whenever he saw a glimpse of red hair or bright crimson eyes, he would stop and take a second look because maybe... just maybe he would finally meet her.

It did not prove to be much help, and so he took the next step. He became an actor, putting his dream of becoming a doctor on hold. Kana Arima would always love acting. He was convinced he would find her in the show business. 

He worked hard to improve and to be worthy of finally standing on the same stage as her. But as the years passed by, there was no sight of her prominent red hair, nor any mention of her name. 

He had lost all hope until that faithful morning in the hospital at Miyazaki. 

Asking her to go out with him? Kissing her on their first meeting?!

Aqua ran his hand through his blond hair. He wanted to hit his head repeatedly against the desk at how uncool, desperate and pathetic he acted. He should have put his best foot forward, acted calmly and swept her off her feet like a knight in shining armor at their fateful meeting.

Instead, he acted like a crazy idiot.

How could he not? Kana Arima was radiantly beautiful as a young woman. It did not matter that her short hair was kept in a messy half updo secured by a random pen when she was stressed. Or how her lip gloss would be gone in the first hour of her shift when she kept biting her lower lip while in deep thought.

She was hardworking, her books filled with highlights and post-it with her cute notes. She would twirl her pen in her hand, her eyes trained in the distance as she memorized the criteria for diabetic ketoacidosis for her exams, huffing when she forgot an item and trying again.

Everything about her— everything that she did amazed him, short-circuited his mouth from his brain, causing him to speak nonsense. 

Teasing her, having her glare at him with her fiery crimson eyes, her cheeks glowing made his heart skip a beat. He wanted her full attention, and he did whatever was necessary to have it.

However, Kana Arima was in love with Taiki— his mature, calm and talented older brother. Between the two of them, Aqua knew that Taiki was the better choice. Except Aqua also knew that Taiki was in love with another woman.

Aqua was there when Kana's heart was broken. It broke his heart too, seeing her cry for another man. 

Did she also cry like this during the many times he hurt her in their past life? 

The thought broke him even more.

In their previous life, Aqua had arranged their 'date' with utmost care, and he was determined to do the same this time. Akane had offhandedly mentioned to him that Kana was free the day after her exams. So he picked a fancy French restaurant with a romantic view, had tried the menu beforehand, picking the dishes he thought Kana would like. He would dress well and be a reliable gentleman for the night. Aqua wanted to impress not only Kana but also her friend. It would be good to have another ally. 

What Aqua did not expect was seeing Melt— a man— as Kana's loyal childhood friend. 

It did irk him a little. But the childhood friend never wins, so that consoled him.

Listening to Melt made Aqua realize that the purple-haired doctor was not his competitor. Melt genuinely cared for Kana as a friend. He was a trustworthy brother figure who stood by her most of her life. 

Melt's stories should have made Aqua happy. Kana's life was perfect. She had loving parents, she grew up doing the things she wanted. She was never alone and people around her genuinely loved and protected her. She was secured and confident in herself, never needing the validation of others for her identity.

Yet, a sharp ache still tugged at a corner of Aqua’s heart.

Kana was happy. Kana was complete. There was no place for Aqua in her life. He doubted he could make her any happier than she already was. 

"Aqua, I'm the one in-charge of my happiness. And you're the one in-charge of your own happiness."

'But you make me happy. I want to make you happy too,' he thought sadly, biting his inner cheek to prevent him from voicing his thoughts. 

He blinked his tears back as he wrapped his arms around a reluctant Kana. 

Maybe, she did not need him after all.

What Aqua needed was time away from Kana, disguised as a request to observe surgeries, to gather his thoughts.

Dr. Taisho Gotanda, the chief thoracovascular surgeon, gave him one look and nodded, instructing him to stay at the side so as not to contaminate the sterile field. That was easy enough that he could do it even if his mind wandered back to Kana.

Was she was relieved to be rid of him? She always told him he was annoying. How could he be helpful to her? What could he do for her?

'She doesn't need you,' the voice in his head said. 'She managed without you all these years. Maybe the best thing you can do is to stay away. All you bring is misery.'

The surgery, a chest tube insertion, was easy enough that it was done in an hour. Aqua's eyes drifted to the clock as he thanked the surgical team. Kana would be doing her rounds now, maybe he could just take a short glimpse... 

Then he would stay away.

An hour later, Aqua found Kana not in the wards but in the hospital's rooftop, sitting with her head against her knees, huddled against a wall that shielded her from the afternoon sun. 

"Oh dear, so she's really here," Akane whispered beside him. He had sought her help when he could not find Kana. With a grim expression, she led him to the rooftop. They stood against the rooftop door, careful not to be noticed.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

"Her patient died this afternoon. Heart attack," Akane explained. His heart sank. As a doctor in a former lifetime, he knew how painful each patient death was.

Suddenly Kana wailed and hugged her knees tighter as she cried.

"Why are you always crying alone?" Aqua mumbled his hands balling into fists. A lot of things had changed but even in this lifetime, Kana Arima still put a strong front in public and kept her tears and pain in private. "There's no way I could leave you."

Who was he fooling, anyway?

Even if Kana did not need him, Aqua could never stay away. Even if she never remembered him, he would just make new memories with her. So many good memories that would overwhelm all the bad ones from their past life. 

He stayed seated in the stairwell until Kana's cries quieted. Maybe he should invite Ruby to visit. His twin sister's naturally friendly personality could definitely cheer Kana up. 

Decided, Aqua got up and called his sister.

Bantering- more like flirting (she would definitely kill him if she heard him)- with Kana as they walked home in the rain was amusing. Seeing her flushed cheeks made his skin tingle with excitement and his heart pound loudly against his chest. Like this, he could pretend they were a normal man and woman enjoying each other's company.

Never mind that it was probably one-sided for him at this point.

Although if her cute, embarrassed expression was any indication... then Aqua dared to hope he was making some progress, no matter how small. 

Maybe he should try asking her out again. Somewhere more casual. Somewhere she could be comfortable and they could talk as... friends. She was not a fan of sweets, so he would bring her to an okonomiyaki place. Or did she like grilled meat? That was safe. Maybe she would say yes.

Before, she used to like reading. Would she be happy if they visited the bookstore? Or did she have new hobbies? Excitement filled his heart as he planned. He would work hard to get to know Kana more, spend time with her, and support her in any way he can. 

And, Aqua hoped, maybe he could make her smile too, one day.

So when he saw the suspicious figure at the end of the road, his stomach churned in fear. Why? Why now? 

Was he undeserving of happiness in any lifetime? Maybe. 

But he would never allow Kana to suffer with him.

The knife cut cold and deep, yet hearing Kana's screams filled him more with pain.

As he collapsed, his vision dimmed. He could barely see Kana's fearful face, her crimson eyes filled with tears. How odd. Did she remember him? He could not confess properly to her this time, too. 

Sadly, it did not matter anymore.

Above them, Aqua could make out the glow of the moon that finally emerged from the heavy rain clouds. It was a night with a full moon, just like the other times he died.

Maybe this was the reason he was reborn. If Gorou Amamiya died for Ai and Aquamarine Hoshino died for Ruby, then Aquamarine Kamiki would die for Kana.

Aqua closed his eyes. The regret did not feel easier the third time.

Chapter Text

It had been a grueling twenty-four hours. And Aqua had been a very lucky bastard.

The ambulance arrived just as he lost consciousness and he was brought to the hospital at lightning speed. Dr. Gotanda, the chief thoracovascular surgeon, had coincidentally been present with Dr. Kindaichi, the chief trauma surgeon, in the hospital that they were immediately able to take Aqua's case. He lost so much blood but luckily the knife had merely grazed the aorta which Dr. Gotanda had no difficulty repairing. Dr. Taiki was a blood type match, and since he was also at the hospital, he was able to donate to his younger brother even before Ruby had arrived.

The surgery was a success. After rigorous monitoring in the post-anesthesia care unit, he was allowed to be transferred back to his room. 

Kana sat at his bedside, waiting for him to wake up. Dr. Taiki had gone home to get clothes and fetch their parents from the airport, while Melt had taken Ruby to the cafeteria to get something to eat. 

The continuous hum of the machines attached to Aqua broke the otherwise silent room. Kana held his hand, which felt much cooler than hers, and squeezed it. "Please don't die," she whispered, her eyes swollen from too much crying. "Please don't die again, Aqua..."

"I heard the patient from room 706 has woken up," Akane mused, writing at her charts beside Kana at the nurse's station. 

It had been seventy-two hours since the attack. Kana stiffened, her eyes fixed on the doctor's notes she was reading. "...That's a relief."

The blue-haired doctor peered at her. "Aren't you going to visit?"

"I already apologized to his family. I don't think they would appreciate having the person responsible for their son's near-death experience to loiter in their presence."

Akane frowned. "It was a random attack. And the serial killer has been arrested, thanks to both of you."

"I merely assisted in identifying him for the police," Kana replied quietly. "Aqua's the one who caught him."

Akane snapped the chart shut, faced Kana and grabbed her shoulders. "What's wrong with you? It's not your fault, Kana. And why are you even here working? Weren't you given a week off to recover?" 

Looking away, Kana answered, "I don't need a week. I can't leave all the work to you."

"Oh, come on!" Akane sighed exasperatedly. "The hospital won't collapse just because you're taking a much needed rest. We'll manage just fine. Now," she pulled Kana to her feet. "Either go home or go to Aqua! He's off the ventilator, he can take visitors."

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Her feet brought her outside the door of his hospital room. Room 706: Hoshino, the nondescript label read, an attempt to thwart the paparazzi. If she did not know him, she might have dismissed the room like others. 

She would have left as quietly as she came, just like the many times in the past few days. But this time, the door opened before she could walk away, and a beautiful lady with long violet hair emerged. Warmth filled her violet eyes as she softly closed the door and greeted, "Hello, Dr. Kana."

Kana shuffled on her feet, "Dr. Ai Hoshino-Kamiki... I-I was just passing by."

The older woman looked at Kana, surveying the younger doctor. Her voice was gentle, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, thank you," Kana answered in a small voice. She did not deserve such kindness, especially from Aqua's mother who cried so much upon seeing her son's bloodied body. She looked down, willing herself not to cry. "I... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..."

"Kana," Ai wrapped her arms around the younger doctor in an embrace. "It's not your fault. Please don't beat yourself up. You saved my son. And I am very thankful for that."

"I should have been kinder to him," Kana sobbed. "If we did not bicker along the way or maybe if we left the station earlier then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"There will be time for the two of you to talk. Kana, would you see him please?" she asked with a smile. "Aqua's been asking for you since he woke up. I'm afraid he might sneak out just to see you." She added as an afterthought, "With tubes and all."

Was Kana ready to see him? She was not sure, but it had to happen sooner rather than later. Somehow, Kana would not be surprised if Aqua did what Ai was fearing. Slowly, she nodded. "I'll see him."

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Room 706 was the hospital's largest VIP suite, with a separate waiting area furnished with a comfortable dark sofa and a glass coffee table. At the far end was the hospital bed where Aqua lay under the pristine white sheets, unmoving with his eyes closed. The rhythmic hum of the cardiac monitor and the steady rise and fall of his chest comforted Kana's pounding heart as she approached, careful to keep her steps quiet.

His eyebrows furrowed, and slowly his eyes opened, staring unfocused on the ceiling at first until they landed on her. 

Kana tried to smile. "Hey," she greeted, her voice soft.

The oxygen facemask he wore fogged as he spoke, voice hoarse, "Hey. Are you alright?"

She sat on the chair by his bedside and bowed her head. "I'm not the one in the hospital bed, you know."

"Ah, you're right."

This was not the time for jokes. There were more important things that she should be telling him. "Aqua," Kana called, her hands clinging to her skirt like a silent anchor. "I'm sorry. Because of me, you got hurt. I'm sorry— I'm really sorry."  

Aqua shook his head. "Don't be. What's important is you're not hurt."

Her head shot up, the anxiety and pressure of her suppressed emotions finally breaking free. "Why are you always like this? Why do you never put yourself first? I thought I was going to lose you again!"  

Aqua stared at her in silence, eyes wide with surprise, "Again?"

"I don't know!" Kana cried, gripping her temples in distress. "You were cold and dead in my dreams! But they felt so real— as if they were someone else's memories! And they hurt— so much!" Her tears slid down her cheeks as she continued, voice hollow. "And you almost died in my arms. I felt so powerless." She choked, "Aqua, I felt so scared..." 

Carefully, Aqua reached out, his palm brushing over her knee in an effort to comfort her. "Kana, I..." He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Kana shook her head, her crimson eyes pleading. "I can't understand this anymore, it's driving me insane. Aqua, who am I? Who are you?"

There was hesitation reflected in his blue eyes. "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

His question did not even surprise her. "Reincarnation? That's—"

"Absurd, right?" he finished. He sighed and gave her a small smile. "That's why it doesn't matter anymore, Kana. You don't need to remember those painful memories."

"But!" Kana grasped his hand. "But you remember, Aqua! I should too! Because... because if not," her lower lip trembled, "You're the only one who'll suffer!"

"Then," Aqua turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with hers. "We'll just have to make new, happy memories."

"But!"

"I love you, Kana," Aqua said softly, the sincerity in his blue eyes silencing Kana's further protests. "Back then, and even more now. I was stupid before, but I promise I won't make the same mistakes."

His words made her heart flutter, and Kana knew deep down these were the words she had wanted to hear for a very, very long time. It made her cry and laugh at the same time. "That's unfair. You know me, but I don't even know you. How can I trust you?"

Aqua tightened his hold on her hand, "I'll just prove myself to you. You won't be getting rid of me anytime soon."

This time, Kana laughed heartily. "Why does that sound like a threat?"

He grinned. "I'll try not to be too annoying."

"As if you can do that."

"You don't fully know me yet, so you don't know what I'm capable of if I put my mind to it."

She raised her eyebrow. "Is that a challenge?"

He shook his head, his smile unwavering. "All I'm saying is that I'll work hard so you'll fall in love with me again, Kana. So you better prepare yourself."

Flustered, her cheeks reddened. "Again? Just how in the world did the previous me fall in love with a pompous person like you?"

"I don't know... I did not deserve your affections then." He bowed his head, the wisps of his blond hair partly covering his eyes. "But this time, I hope I can become a better person for you."

It puzzled her—the way he could seem so confident one moment, only to turn uncertain the next. She guessed he remembered something from their past. Kana reached out, gently sweeping back his hair to gaze directly into his eyes. "You'll have to recover first, stupid Aqua."

Aqua nodded. "I will."

"You should go to sleep and rest now," she coaxed. When Aqua did not let go of her hand and instead clasped it more firmly, Kana murmured, "Don't worry, I'll be here when you wake up."

He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes, "Thank you, Kana."

Kana laid her head on the side of the bed as she stared at his sleeping face. Could she really love Aqua as much as he loved her even without the memories of their past? A part of her knew she could. 

And she— unsurprisingly and eventually— did.

With a yawn, she closed her eyes and dreamt of a little boy with shiny blond hair and wide, innocent blue eyes. 

Chapter Text

Epilogue

Four years later, as he walked down the corridor leading to the surgery office, Dr. Aquamarine Kamiki went over the list in his mind. A research paper to edit, two more chapters to study, and a systematic review to read in preparation for Gotanda's surgery he would be assisting in three days.

The life of a surgery resident was not easy.

He heaved a heavy sigh and entered the office. The aroma of freshly cooked chicken wafted through his nose and his stomach growled, reminding him that his last meal was almost eight hours ago. Upon seeing the woman responsible for the meal, he smiled. "Kana? You're still here?" 

Kana poured cola into two mugs on the table and retrieved the chopsticks from the paper bag. She grinned upon seeing him. "Perfect timing! Let's have dinner."

He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You're a lifesaver. I'm starving."

She turned her head to the side and fed him a piece of the chicken with her chopsticks. "I know. So come on, eat first before you get any of your night calls."

Aqua sat down, his arm still around Kana, bringing her to sit down on his lap. With his other hand, he took the second set of chopsticks and took another bite of the chicken.

She gave him a reprimanding look but did not move away. "Eat properly, will you?"

He shrugged and offered her food. What was he to do? He was craving both the scrumptious food and Kana. "A guy has too multitask."

She chewed slowly, "Multitask?"

His hold on her tightened as Aqua heaved another deep sigh. If only he was not the night duty doctor. Instead of slaving in the hospital, there were more enjoyable things he could be doing with her. "Nothing. Thanks for the food."

Kana peered at him curiously, "Are you sulking? Really?"

Really. Even after two lifetimes, this girl did not know how much she drove him crazy, did she? Carefully, he adjusted her on his lap. He was on duty and he cannot afford to be distracted. Propping his chin against her shoulder, he continued to feed her and himself. "Really, I'm grateful for the food. But we should finish this soon so you could go home."

"Oh, so you don't want me here?"

Kana was dangerous. Her pouty lips made things hard for him, in more ways than one. His blue eyes narrowed and in revenge, he bit her shoulder, causing her to jump in surprise.

The blush that spread on her cheeks and neck was very, very beautiful. "What the hell, Aqua?!"

"What?" he murmured teasingly. "I'm trying to hold back but if you want to be adventurous, Dr. Arima—"

Kana pulled away, her face burning red. "I meant maybe you want some innocent company! Honestly, you're insatiable! I can't believe you used to be such an innocent, angelic kid!" 

"Innocent, huh?" He mused as he placed another kiss on her neck, causing her to shiver. "Remember that red and white polka dot costume you wore for the new B-Komachi's MV? You looked so cute, but your skirt was too puffy and short that when you did those little jumps and spins I could see—"

Horrified, she covered his mouth with her palms. "NO! Stop! Don't you dare taint my precious memories!"

Aqua chuckled. He held one of her hands and kissed the inside of her wrist. In response, her face turned a deeper shade of red. He never really saw himself as a needy person but in the three years they had been dating, he could never get enough of Kana. How Aquamarine Hoshino managed to restrain himself, he could not remember. But Aquamarine Kamiki was drawn to her like a moth to the warm flame. And he had been patient with her until she finally reciprocated his feelings. 

He should just marry her.

The shrill ringtone of his cellphone interrupted his thoughts. He frowned upon seeing the familiar number of the emergency room doctor on duty. "Hello? This is Kamiki."

Kana leaned her ear against his phone in an attempt to listen in. When the call ended, her brows were furrowed, eyes alert. "Sounds like a case of acute appendicitis."

"Yeah." He tightened his hold on her for a few more seconds before letting her go. "But I don't want to go..."

"Silly," she chided as she pulled him to his feet. 

He heaved another sigh, feeling wary as he gathered his things. "Yeah, yeah. Be careful on your way home, okay?" 

Finished cleaning their meal, Kana dangled her car keys in front of him. "I live five minutes away. I'll be fine. So," she held his face and tiptoed, placing a soft kiss on his lips. When she moved away, she was smiling, "Go save a life, Dr. Aqua."

His lips were still tingling from the brief contact as he returned her smile. "I really love you, Kana," Aqua murmured as he gazed at Kana, heart full and warm at finally having the freedom to tell those words to her after denying it in his previous lifetime.

Her smile— just like everything else about her— was dazzling. And the fact that he was the one who made her happy made his heart swell. "I know. I love you too, Aqua." Kana gently pushed him out of the door. "But now, go to work. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Overcome with emotions, Aqua swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked back at Kana. "Yeah. See you, tomorrow, Kana."

Tomorrow. Yes, this time, they have a tomorrow. No more murderous stalkers, no revenge to carry out. Just their dreams to realize, a life to build together. 

This time, there was a tomorrow he could look forward to. 

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A year later, Aqua made his way back from the outdoor bath to the room he shared with Kana. His relaxed and refreshed appearance contrasted greatly with her tired form bundled underneath the soft blankets.

"Hey, Kana," he nudged gently, sitting beside her. "You're the one who wanted to go to the onsen. Why are you spending all your time sleeping?"

Her crimson eyes opened blearily. "So tired..." she moaned as she snuggled deeper in the warm confines of the futon. "Partly your fault, by the way."

His ears turned red. Last night... was no different from others, right? Well except this was their first long vacation as newlyweds and they might have gotten a little too excited. How could he refuse his wife when she was all soft and inviting? Aqua brushed Kana's hair back. "Do you need anything? A warm compress? Massage?"

Kana shook her head and placed his palm against her forehead with a smile. "Nah. Your hand is warm, I like it."

"How about something to eat?" he continued to ask. 

"Can't. I'm too tired..."

Kana had been very excited for this trip and Aqua too wanted to make new memories to replace the bad ones they previously had here in Takachiho. They even took extended hours in the hospital to make time for this trip. Still, something did not click and a question rang in the back of his mind. "Kana, when did you last have your period?"

"My period?" Her eyes became more alert as she stared at him. "Last month? Or was it two months ago..?"

Memories flashed in his mind. Kana craving okonomiyaki for breakfast a week ago, her feeling nauseous yesterday morning, which she attributed to the car trip. Could she be? 

Pulling the blanket down, Kana seemed to have reached the same conclusion. "You don't think I'm pregnant, do you?"

"We're going home." He stood up, gathered their things and made a quick call to the hotel's front desk.

"What? But we still have 3 more days of vacation! I'm fine, really," she whined as she sat up.

"We'll buy a pregnancy test kit on the way and have an ultrasound done in the hospital," he replied while sending a message on his phone. "Dr. Kichijouji's available."

"But-"

"Kana." He knelt in front of her, placed a soft kiss on her forehead and scooped her up in his arms. "Let's just be sure, okay? I don't want you or the baby's safety to be compromised."

Kana wrapped her arms around his shoulder, a stubborn blush on her cheeks. "Fine."

Afterwards, the two red lines confirmed their suspicion. On ultrasound, the early signs of their little one became more evident. A strong heartbeat, a new life.

.
.
.

Almost eight months later, a loud scream was heard in the delivery room of the Miyazaki General Hospital.

"I swear, Aquamarine Kamiki, if you don't get your fucking ass here right now I'm going to divorce you!" Kana shrieked as another wave of contractions wracked her body. 

Standing beside her on the birthing table, Ai, Aqua's mother, held her hand. "He's on his way, Kana. Hikaru, Taiki and Ruby are waiting for him outside the operating room to finish his emergency surgery."

"Why the fuck is he covering for Dr. Gotanda anyway?!" 

Kana's own mother brushed the damp bangs from her daughter's forehead. "You can do this, Kana sweetheart. We're here for you."

"Stupid Aqua! He shouldn't have gotten me pregnant! I'll never have sex with him ever again!" 

Dr. Mem-cho, the anesthesiologist, shook her head. "I gave her the right amount of epidural, I promise."

"You're fully dilated, Kana. You'll be giving birth any moment now." Dr. Yoriko Kichijouji, the obstetrician, announced as she checked. "Push when I give you the signal, okay?"

Kana's crimson eyes widened in fear. "I-I'm scared... AQUA!"

The door of the delivery room opened and Aqua, clad in his green scrubs, entered. He donned a clean gown with practiced efficiency before making his way to his wife in labor. "Sorry, I'm late."

Kana still had the energy to bump her fists against his chest. "You already missed my graduation concert. I thought you were also going to miss the birth of our child! Stupid!"

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Aqua gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Kana... I'm here now. I won't miss anything ever again." 

The effort to bring forth a child into this world was overwhelming. Kana screamed as she pushed, her hands holding onto Aqua's tightly. He caressed her forehead and whispered encouraging words unto her ears: 'It will be okay.' 'Just a little more, Kana.' 'I'm here.'

But the joy that came upon hearing their child's first cry was unparalleled. 

"She's so beautiful," Aqua whispered as the baby was placed on Kana's chest. He caressed the little one's tuff of red hair. "Like her mother."

The baby stared at her, ocean blue eyes full of innocence. Kana's tears slid down her cheeks as she vowed to love this child that was equally part of her and Aqua. "She has your eyes."

Aqua leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Kana's damp forehead, whispering, "You did well. Thank you... Thank you, Kana."

This time, they would have their own little family, a home full of love and warmth. And neither Aqua nor Kana would ever be alone again.

The End