Archive of Our Own ^beta

He was back at that same place again. The perfect dark-sky site: a humble field of lilies, pretty far isolated from the urban hustle and bustle of parades and celebrations. With the impossibly dazzling and colorful night sky in full view spread out before him, the scene looked ethereal, like he was standing at the entrance to the universe. After all this time of operating within cities, it was almost dizzying. The Earth really did sparkle all along.

It was magnificent.

She would have loved it.

She...

Everything always came back to her. He existed because of her. There are so many things that he knows because he learned them from her and so many things that remind him of her. The blue of the oceans and the skies, including the ones he was illuminated in now. In the first place, she was the reason he even knows of the myth and the Star Festival. And so he came running here, wanting to see the two stars from that tale shine close together on the date that she described. Because she was where he heard about it first.

He never did cease his longing, then. Always craving, always chasing the intangible her.

Sure enough, even in that vast, clear expanse of stars, he could clearly see the two stars from the myth shine the brightest of all, indicating a connection between souls and a love both lost and found. He lowered his head with a smile, almost relieved, instantly forgetting the flurry the anxiety and anticipation he felt getting here. He turned to the side, but not to leave. After all, he didn't just come to observe the cosmic spectacle.

It always came back to her. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see her behind his eyelids. Always watching the same sights he did, usually with her back facing him, sometimes smiling at him warmly, but always out of his reach. Then he would open his eyes and wonder if it was really her that he saw then.

At long last, today he understood that he never had to guess.

She has always been a part of him, hasn't she?

"I'm so happy to see you again, Maria."

There she was, standing near him, again observing the same sight he did before shifting her gaze to him. The surrounding nightlight made the delicate yet mature and refined features of her profile even more prominent.

He had always thought she was beautiful, but the brilliant silver of her hair, sparkling hairband and white dress she had now gave her a graceful elegance—nay, divinity that evoked those gorgeously ornate historical paintings he had once seen. Like Vega from the myth, he thought, the weaver of star systems who very well could have personally crafted this sky they were looking at on her own. The heart of this planet and his symbol of light and hope, within his reach at last. If Dark and Light Gaia had personal heralds, she had to be one of them.

Her eyes lit up even more when he came into her sight.

"I never left you, Shadow," Maria said, her voice still gentle like bells, just like he remembered. She reached out both her hands as she approached him, which he readily took into his—of course he would. "You have grown into such a wonderful figure."

He gave them a light squeeze, relishing in their tangibility. She wasn't fading or cracking like she so often would in his dreams, bad or otherwise. There were no glass walls separating them, whether in the literal or figurative sense. He then pressed them to where his forehead was—a tender pledge. A few salty pearls managed to slip from his eyes and he didn't care.

"So have you."

In the past, he had associated her name and sight with pain—a hot knife twisting in his gut. A symbol of all he had lost, naive dreams, confusing memories and unreachable ideals. And even if he did get to meet her in flesh and blood in that timeless void, he had to steel his mind and hold back. That was not his Maria. She didn't need to know his heartbreak. But none of that mattered today.

At long last, he could finally let it all go.

She draws him closer to her as they sat down among the lilies to continue their stargazing. He relishes in her warmth and scent, feels his own heartbeat underneath her chest. She was the rage and joy he felt and the tears he cried, but not just that; she was also the inexplicable warmth he felt on his cheek when he was at his lowest, the mysterious easing of his tense shoulders when he was on edge, and all the times he shivered without a chill in the air. In that sense, he really did save her in the end.

He was brought into being because of her, and now she is vicariously living through him. Today, he finally understood that to the fullest.

"Just look at all those stars," Maria said, reaching her hand out as if to grab them. Out here, they looked vivid and close enough to touch. "We would see them every day on the ARK, and I still don't think I ever saw them quite like this."

Shadow nodded. "It's mesmerizing. I'm used to inner-city skies, so it's like I'm seeing it in this way for the first time."

"Do you remember when you first saw the Earth from the observation deck? When I saw it like that, my first thought was, 'The universe is huge!'"

"'The Earth is so small.'"

She laughed at that, as she usually would whenever her whimsy was contrasted with his more logical clinical outlook. "I have always loved the Earth, but I never realized until I saw it from up there how grand and beautiful it really is. I truly felt that this is our home... and there isn't another one like it. I wanted to protect it, no matter what."

Shadow lowered his gaze. Now that he thought about it, for a time that was his wish too. In his heart of hearts, all he wanted was to exist quietly and peacefully with her on the Earth's surface, but her passions and convictions were infectious. They would both protect the planet she loved. One could only guess what blessings she would have brought to the world if she had the chance.

Too much time was wasted. Too many mistakes were made. His grip around his knees tightened.

He couldn't cure her. He couldn't protect her when it mattered most. On top of all that, he almost destroyed her dream—their dream, multiple times. And even if he wanted to put all of that out of mind and move past it, that moon in the distance would not ever let him forget. And she had every reason to forsake him after all that has happened.

His spiraling train of thought was interrupted by the gentle touch of her hand on his cheek.

"Thank you for protecting this planet in my place, despite everything."

He didn't deserve her.

"I gave them a chance. Now it's up to them to decide what they will do with it."

"Shadow..."

She pulled him into another hug, stroking his softened quills. He ran his hand through her voluminous hair and pressed his lips into her palm. His dearest friend, his guide to the world, his home, his savior, his everything. Still standing by him and supporting him after all this time, observing his exploits, watching the wonders of the planet through his eyes. Still believing, despite everything, that he will show the best of him in the end. He could never properly repay her for all she has done for him, both during and beyond her short-lived mortal existence. But he could still try.

"Maria," Shadow finally spoke, his gaze fixated on the distant moon, watching over him dispassionately in its broken glory. He always said her name with some degree of solemn gravity. It made her smile a little. "I only wanted to be by your side then. But now I wish to continue living. I want to know this world and this life you allowed me to live." His glance then shifted to her hand that he was still holding. "And I want to show it all to you."

When he looked up at her, her eyes were on the brink of tears, but her smile was wide and bright as ever. "In that case, I have a new wish to ask of you," she responded, gently cupping his face. "Please continue to be a warm shadow that watches over us. A shadow that tells us where the light is."

At this point, Maria took off her shiny hairband. "And please..." she continued, tying it around his left arm into a neat bow. It sparkled beautifully under the light of the stars. "Enjoy life. Because I will enjoy it with you."

"I will," he nodded. A wide smile formed on his face—a once-in-a-lifetime sight indeed. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go."

They continued conversing long after that, observing the spectacular heavenly bodies, with both Altair and Vega vividly shining down on them. Reminiscing on their time on the ARK, placing much emphasis on what few genuinely happy memories and moments they made there. On Shadow's adventures outside of his most bombastic and dramatic exploits—every time an unfamiliar exotic environment took his breath away in his solitary outings, every time a local Chao showed a liking to him in the gardens of such environments, and of course, every time he, true to his name, performed some meritorious deed for the benefit of hundreds without any of them ever realizing that he was there or that anything was amiss. Although Shadow did not have much faith, she assured him the people of the planet are appreciative of him, even if they may not show it. "Grandfather was thankful too," she added, the man whose mere mention always stirred unexplainable emotions within him, "but he said he could never face you again."

Shadow hummed a noise that was somewhere between a tired laugh and a sigh. Of course he couldn't. There was no doubt the Professor had long since moved on to whatever most human mythologies and religions interpret as the next world. There was nothing else he could do now, besides holding on to what he saw in that white void: remembering him for who he was, not what he became.

What he wants now is to ensure the existence of a world where no one has to go through what the three of them did. So he accepted Gerald's thanks and they continued.

Naturally, in their talks of Shadow's life on Earth, Sonic eventually invaded their heart-to-heart and became the main topic of discussion.

"You've been spending a lot more time with him lately," Maria noted. "He has such gentlemanly qualities. I like him!"

"He's... frustrating. He doesn't care to know how others may see him. He thinks the world should bend to his whims so he can stay entertained. I feel like with our every encounter, I understand him less and less." His hand clenched into a fist, but it was clearly half-hearted. "I very seriously consider putting him in his place. And yet..."

He sighed. Something inside him was stirring again, but it was different from earlier. Something less vague. "...He is so much like you. His love for the world is unparalleled. He accepts the one he lives in with all the pain and heartbreak it brings, and he would not have it any other way. Every time I see him fighting for the planet he loves... It's like he answered your prayers and was spontaneously brought into being just to carry out your will. I don't think I'll ever stop wanting... whatever he has. So I continue to follow him, just to see where he takes me..."

As his unintentionally impassioned speech continued, Maria couldn't help but notice warm smile he had illuminated on his face the entire time, not that she would dare point this out. It was almost reassuring to see and hear him like this, just this once not held down by sadness and bitterness. Such an adorably open book. Surely, he was going to be all right.

"I'm glad you found your happiness, Shadow. Stay close to him... and listen to the songs of his heart."

Several seconds passed by where Shadow stared off at nothing in particular, lost in thought. And although his expression briefly morphed into one of mild terror and bewilderment, it eventually returned to his smile from earlier.

Happiness with him... That's not bad.

She felt his weight as he leaned against her. "This world is in good hands, Maria... he will make sure of it." He was starting to feel drowsy now, understandably; the many months and years of fighting, standing guard and working undercover never gave him time to truly relax. Her gentle stroking of his quills once his head was on her lap, something they did so often back on the ARK, only seemed further lull him into sleep.

She then stood up and stepped away a short distance, leaving him by himself momentarily.

"Maria, wait... Not yet..." He protested, but didn't try to stop her. He was very tired, now that he thought about it. But he didn't want this end, at least not as something that never happened. He felt a blanket that he didn't know was there covering him. "Will you be there when I wake up?"

He honestly didn't intend to sound as much like a young child falling asleep with the lights off for the first time as he just did. A small laugh sounded off close to him.

"I'm always here, Shadow. Being what you are, seeing what you see... loving who you love."

A faint smile may have creaked at his lips with the last of the energy he could muster. "...Thank you."

With that, Shadow finally surrendered and slipped under the surface of her compassionate waters. The warm waves and currents carried him every which way, and he could have sworn he saw, or maybe hear, the slithers of his every emotion felt and moment experience throughout his life slip past him. It was almost like a scrapbook or video tape damaged and distorted such that only whoever recorded it to begin with could possibly tell what everything is supposed to be. The countless stars that were just there were now but a vague pulsating blob of light up above, going further and further out of his reach. He honestly would not mind plunging into the dark, unknown depths like this...

...Only for his hand to plunge after him and grab him with gusto.

"Shadow."

With a jolt, he opened his eyes. Still the same field of lilies, the same sky of stars, now slightly dimmer as morning intrudes, Sonic relaxing to his right. Come to think of it, Shadow came here with him in the first place. When did he manage to doze off in their stargazing?

"Are you still thinking about her?"

"...Yes," Shadow responded reluctantly, cursing at himself for being so hopelessly readable at times like this. Not that there was any point to hiding it now. "But... it's strange. It doesn't hurt like I thought it would."

"That's good." Seemingly satisfied, Sonic turned his head back to the sky. The sun would be way up there before long. "Don't mourn her death. Celebrate her life."

Shadow didn't respond, but he agreed. In a way, that was exactly what he has been doing as of late. He smiles more than he frowns. Her lingering images and words are more inspiring than they are hurtful. It wasn't really the gunshot or the trickling blood that he remembered from that day. It was the unfading brightness in her eyes as she entrusted her hopes to him. It was her unbreakable belief in a better world. It was her prayers for humanity's happiness in the face of her own death. That was what he wanted to cherish above all. No matter what happened or how many years passed, he... they would never let her memory die.

Once, he was drowning in her ocean. Now, he is stranded in his sky, dancing in the clouds that are his palms. When he lost his happiness, this other unassuming hedgehog, nay, this anomaly of Mother Nature, this freak, crashed into his life with all the subtlety of a bulldozer rampaging through a glass dome and gave him new happiness. To this day, he has no idea how this happened. But he was not complaining.

"Thanks for showing this to me, Shadow."

Just as quickly as it had started, the Star Festival was over. It would take another year for Altair and Vega to see each other again, but there was no rush. Once he had new stories to tell, Shadow would come back here.

"Did you want to go somewhere else?"

"I was thinking the recently opened Chao Garden in Apotos. They needed assistance with the preservation efforts."

"Good choice. I heard the breezy dogs there taste best at this hour."

"Just so you know, I'm getting there first."

"Uh-huh," Sonic was already revving up, face manic with excitement for the early morning dogs. "Whatever you say!"

He takes off. Shadow takes off. The lilies shook fiercely in the aftermath.

The sparkling of the bow on his arm from the sun's rays could be seen from a distance.