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The first few days after that Gathering (after Hollyheart went down the tunnels), he walked through a haze. The truth was a suffocating smog they pretended wasn't there.
How many had known, he wondered once. How many had looked at him and his littermates and suspected, and yet said nothing?
For their parts in the lie, all of his parents were punished: Brambleclaw had relinguished her deputyship to Brackenfur, Leafpool was no longer a medicine cat, and Squirrelflight had lost the trust of their clanmates. They had lost Hollyheart to the tunnels and lost their sons to betrayal.
He didn't know what Crowfeather's punishment had been; he didn't particularly care.
(He remembered being Jaykit, being coddled by Leafpool even through the exasperation.
He remembered Lionkit bouncing around Squirrelflight, proving his equal fierceness.
He remembered Hollykit puffed up with pride, demanding another story from Brambleclaw.
They had never doubted they had been loved.)
But anger still burned inside. He couldn't stand the pitying stares, the way they stepped so carefully around him and Lionblaze, all the little reminders that their lives had been based on a lie. Most of that couldn't be changed now.
But at least one reminder could. So Jayfeather marched up to the Highledge and into the leader's den with a demand. "I want a name change."
A surprised pause before Firestar spoke carefully. "This is sudden. Are you sure you've thought this through? With what's happened recently-"
"She named me after my Windclan father," he spat. "It's supposed to be my name, who I am. Instead she made it about herself."
Jayfeather knew this wasn't fair on his grandfather. But this wasn't fair on anyone. "When Brightheart was given an unfit name, you gave her a better one. I'm asking you to correct one of Leafpool's mistakes."
"I understand," Firestar said quietly, emotions buzzing louder. "I can do it if the same rule applies to medicine cats."
"I can confirm with Littlecloud," he dismissed. He turned to go.
"Jay, wait."
He paused.
"Leafpool loves you, even if she's made mistakes. She doesn't need to be further punished."
He didn't answer.
"Spirits of StarClan, you know every cat by name," Firestar called out. "I ask you now to take away the name from the cat you see before you, for it no longer stands for who he is."
The cat who was Jayfeather sat in the middle of the clearing, all eyes of Thunderclan on him as he further rejected his heritage.
Were any of his mothers among the crowd? Would it be better or worse if they were?
(It seemed so obvious in hindsight.
Similar gray fur. Same lanky build. Lionblaze said they had the same blue eyes.
At least Lionblaze could pass as Brambleclaw's son in some ways. So could Hollyheart to a degree.
Had Leafpool felt clever calling him by his father's name?)
"By my authority as Clan leader, and with the approval of our warrior ancestors, I give this cat a new name." The clan waited in apprehensive silence. "From this moment on he will be known as Jaywing, so that he will be able to pursue his own path."
"Jaywing, Jaywing, Jaywing!"
Jaywing. It felt right, didn't it? This was what he wanted.
(Later he will wonder if it was worth it. If it really lessened the burden.
Was this how Hollyleaf had felt after killing Ashfur and it didn't erase the truth?
Jaywing had made his choice, just like his parents had.)