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Frank was one of your smartest neighbours; that was simply the truth. They always had a fact up their sleeve in response to near any question you could come up with. This proficiency spread to games-- it was no wonder that him and Julie were good friends. Frank had an uncanny knack of understanding the rules of whatever amalgam Julie had cooked up, no matter how contradictory or confusing (though they did make their displeasure of the esoteric nature of said rules known, of course.)
This aspect of their character was sometimes made light of by your other neighbours-- or very much joked about. As smart as he was, Frank could be caught up in verbal or situational traps as long as his pride or sensibility was the butt of said joke. You could see clear as day the angle Barnaby went for, the hook he tossed out-- but Frank snapped it up near every time, line and sinker with it.
As much as you could see that Frank was as silly as the rest of you (despite their adamant attempts to deny such a thing), you were careful to never admit you thought this way. Mainly because they held their frankness (heh) in very high regard. So, you attempted to meet him on his level, including asking about some of his preferred activities.
"Chess? You-- want to learn how to play chess?" he had asked, shocked so much my the request that he nearly dropped the trowel he was holding in his hand. You had approached Frank as a bit of an inopportune time-- he was weeding his garden beds, green gloves and a yellow gardening apron, a wide-brimmed straw hat on his head.
You opened your mouth to respond-- but they didn't let you speak, nearly flying into their home and coming out ten seconds later with a folded chess board under their arm; lacking all the gardening gear and dressed in their usual attire. You had no idea how Frank had changed that quickly.
He skipped down his steps and grabbed ahold of your wrist, nearly yanking you down the path as you swallowed a yelp. Their "resting grumpy face" (coined by Julie) was gone, replaced by a more neutral, near happy expression.
"I know just the place." he had said, and you struggled to keep up with his long legs and even longer strides as he took you to the place-- to Home.
The abode had watched the two of you approach as soon as you had entered her field of view-- Home had puffed out a questioning cloud of smoke, though their curtains pulled up all the way once they had noticed.
"Good afternoon, Home. Our neighbour here wanted to know how to play Chess."
Home let out a inquiring squeeeeaaakk? to which you nodded with a thin, closed-lipped smile. Frank nodded as well, wasting no time in unfolding the chessboard and pulling out the bags of pieces. They appeared to be made of glass, while the board was a nice mix of light-and-dark wood.
"Is Wally in at the moment?"
Home twisted their doorknob as they blinked, a definitive no. Frank then set the chessboard right on Home's front doorstep, setting criss-cross just before it. They gestured for you to sit as well, and you did so.
"Now, the game is relatively simple," Frank said as he rotated the board, then pointed at the squares in the opposing diagonal corners.
"The white corners should be to the player's right side every time, not the black-- er, the dark brown, for this board."
He then held up the two bags of white and black pieces.
"The player with the white pieces moves first. We usually go back and forth, but this time we'll do it on luck."
You watched as Home closed their eyes, and Frank quickly opened each bag and removed a small piece from each, putting one in each hand before turning back to Home.
"Alright, which hand has the white piece?"
Home opened their curtains and gave a long, low squeeeeaaakkk as if giving their thoughts a sound effect. Then, they flapped the shutters on their left window. Frank smiled as they opened their hand to show the black piece.
"Wrong this time, Home. But I almost put it in this hand."
Home rolled their eyes and rattled their shingles, as if uncaring of the result. Frank placed each pawn on the board, white on their side.
"There's eight pawns for each colour, and they go on the outer row like this."
Frank quickly placed the black, then the white pawns in a neat row on the board.
"They can only move one space forward, expect for their first move, when they can move two squares forward. But they capture diagonally."
You nodded, and Frank pulled out a stout piece that had little tines on the top. It was slightly taller than the pawns.
"This is the rook. It can move in straight lines, as far as it wants until it hits another piece."
Frank placed them down, then picked up the pieces shaped like the head and neck of a horse. They went on to describe each pieces position and movement, and how they captured other pieces. You nodded along as he went through the knight, the curvy headed bishop (of whom he told you, was supposed to be a headdress, of sorts), the queen, and finally the king. The king was the lynchpin of the game. The weakest, moving only one square at a time in any direction; paired up with a queen who was the strongest, and who could move in any direction as far as she wanted. Getting to the King piece and making it so any move would result in it being taken was a 'checkmate', or the end. Frank went on to explain the rules of simply "check" to you, and then some strategies.
At some point (finally) they stopped, looking over the board before putting their hands on their hips with a nod.
"Those are the basic rules."
"Ah, I see." you said, understanding nothing.
Frank hovered their hand over the board, grey-felted fingers drifting over the pieces laid in front of him.
"I'll start with a beginners opening; The French Defense."
You watched, completely lost, as Frank put forward a pawn. You turned your head from the board to finally speak, but Frank blinked, then laughed.
"Oh, you're playing along! Thank you."
You looked back to the board, and to your surprise a black pawn had moved. You looked up at Home, who gave you a wink.
Frank moved another pawn. You blinked, and a black pawn had moved right up against that white pawn.
It continued like this for some time-- every time your eyes closed and opened, Home had moved a piece. That answered at least one question, and spawned three others. But you quickly grew overwhelmed with the running dialogue Frank was mumbling, intermixed with occasional interruptions from Home, which Frank verbalized for your benefit and then elaborated on.
You watched as pieces were picked off the board-- many pawns, one of Frank's rooks, Home's knight and a bishop-- the game seemed intense, though you didn't feel even an ounce of said intensity as the two grew more discerning.
Eventually, all that was left on Frank's side was Frank's remaining rook and his King, while Home was working with several pieces. Though Frank put up a valiant effort (you assumed, at least), Home eventually forced your puppet friend into a checkmate.
Frank sighed, heavily, and then tilted his King on its side.
"You win again." he said, before chuckling and turning to you.
"I practice whenever I can, and still Home beats me nearly every time."
Home let out a self-satisfied bang from somewhere deep within its walls, and Frank huffed.
"That's enough from you." he replied, giving them a dismissive wave before looking at you.
"Well then, how was that? Do you think you understand a bit better now?" Frank asked. You hesitated, then nodded, and he went to say something else before Home let out a series of bangs and creaks.
Bang squeak bang bang creeeaakkk
"Oh, I hardly 'gave the win' to you! I tried my hardest, as I always do."
Bang bang creak creeeaaakkk
"My Elo is secure, I assure you. And yours is hardly going to change if you don't go against anyone else."
Creak squeeeak creak bang
"Yes, I know most of our neighbours don't like the game. Too 'smartypants' as Julie says-- frankly , I think it's just the right amount of strategy."
You watched the two of them banter back and forth, feeling quite lost but amused nonetheless.
... You didn't have the heart to tell him you had actually asked about how to play "Chesskers".