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“This is all your fault,” Kakashi says, testing the bonds around his hands.
“Mmhmm.”
“If we hadn’t gone into this mission with the backstory you thought up, none of this would have happened.” The bonds, he finds, are tight and don’t shift an iota.
“Mm.”
Gritting his teeth, Kakashi tries to get at the senbon hidden in the hem of his shirt. “And, honestly, who even does a second marriage anyway? What kind of town forces people to go through the marriage ceremony again?”
“Mmhmm.”
“And why is it legally binding?!” Kakashi attempts once more to break his bonds, before giving up for a lost cause. “This is absolutely all your fault, by the way.”
“Yeah,” Genma replies, dry as dust, “I’d gotten that. Now, did you want out, husband dear?”
Kakashi blinks, tilting his head, just as Genma comes around to face him, hands free of his own bonds.
Somewhat sulky, Kakashi says, “Yes.”
Genma raises an eyebrow.
Through gritted teeth, he says, “Yes, dear.”
Technically, Genma doesn’t grin. But the way he flips the senbon in his hand is basically the same thing. He’s all smug assuredness and it really should be much more annoying than it is. Unfortunately for Kakashi, the fact that Genma’s on his ANBU team means that there’s some kind of hostage syndrome involved clearly. It’s that, and no other reason, that explains why Kakashi doesn’t actually mind the other shinobi.
Their marriage, though, that’s a different story entirely. Mainly on account of the fact that Kakashi didn’t plan to get married, even if it did see them captured like their missing persons cases. With any luck, they’ll soon get to the bottom of the whole thing for their client.
As Kakashi works the feeling back into his fingertips, rubbing at his wrists, Genma gets to work on the locked door.
Naturally, just as the door shudders open, the sound of footsteps can be heard. Kakashi leaps into the hallway, running through a set of taijutsu steps that are so engraved in his mind he could do them—and has before—in his sleep. He takes out the two attackers and Genma takes the last one down with a single senbon.
“I don’t think they approve of our marriage,” Genma says mildly as he steps over the corpses.
Kakashi exhales noisily. “The marriage we’re annulling.”
“Oh, did you want to annul? I thought we were in love.” He flutters his eyelashes.
Spitting out a fireball, Kakashi takes care of the attacker going for Genma’s back. “I,” he says, “was acting. Love is a useless emotion. No one needs it. Also, might I remind you, our marriage was meant to be fake.”
Genma sighs, heavy and completely and utterly faked. Kakashi ducks down as Genma flips over him and they each take out an attacker. “I suppose. If it is what you wish, husband of mine.”
“I,” Kakashi says, chidori slamming into someone’s gut, “can think of nothing I wish for more.”
“One would thing you hate me.” Genma melts out of the shadows and splits someone’s throat.
Kakashi steals the senbon from Genma’s mouth and tosses it at someone entering the hallway. “That’s because I do.” He watches the person stagger, then tip forward before hitting the ground. “I hate you. I’d tear out your throat if given the opportunity.”
Because Genma, despite all appearances, is an insane person, he simply laughs. “Yeah, alright,” he says. “We can call it a date.”
At last, they escape the hallway. “You’re just like Gai,” Kakashi grumbles. “Have you considered not being insane?”
“Aw, you really do love me.” Genma hands Kakashi his weapon’s pouch from where they’d stashed their stuff earlier. “But consider, how do you think Ibiki would react to this?”
Kakashi considers it. He’s not necessarily one to drive his coworkers insane but… well, it’s a tantalising premise.
“We’re annulling it the day after we get to Konoha,” he decides. “And you have to do the paperwork.”
Genma grins with his teeth bared and Kakashi, helpless to do anything else, grins back. Unfortunately for him, he does actually care for Genma—they’re pack. Not that he ever plans to tell Genma that, of course.
They’re still going to annul their marriage though.