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The falling snow was unbearably soft, the snowflakes indistinguishable from the small slivers of ice that rained from the sky. For a moment, the world seemed to move in slow motion. Zabuza didn’t feel as though he deserved such a poetic death. But Haku did.
His body was growing comfortably numb from the pain. He was grateful to Kakashi for executing his final wishes, something he felt ashamed of asking after everything they had done. But Kakashi was a man of honor and did so without thought, laying him by Haku’s side.
Zabuza reached out, thick and calloused fingers trembling as he grazed the impossibly soft curve of Haku’s cheek. He was beautiful. And in this moment Zabuza let himself believe he might be sleeping. He trailed his fingers over his lips, the coldness making him press his digits against the plump of his lip hoping to warm it. A flash of memory passed him, times in which he had found himself staring at Haku. Has he always been so enticing? Had he always felt like an irresistible force he needed to touch?
He moved closer, ignoring the injuries that littered his own body, wanting the last of the warmth he had to keep Haku just a little warmer.
Zabuza closed his eyes, smiling at the distant memory of his time spent with the younger man. He was supposed to be just a pawn, a clever tool to grow and use for his own gain. But there was something about Haku that was different. His laughter seemed to make spring come sooner; his smile made Zabuza feel things he didn’t quite understand, parts of him not wanting to understand. They were meant to be one, like fate had brought them together that night in the cold. Haku was so small, so scared and alone… and Zabuza, so hellbent on revenge, his own path, his own power.
Now, at the edges of life, there was so much he wished he had said and done. What use was there in him realizing his love for Haku now? Perhaps in another life he would be brave enough to say those words, brave enough to cup Haku’s jaw and pull him close, allowing the indulgence of getting to watch Haku’s eyes go wide, his cheeks flush from the boldness of the gesture. He was a man of few words, but he could show Haku the way he cared, that he was beyond some kind of means to an end — that he was Zabuza’s beginning, and he was a fool all along for not noticing it.
The world seemed to shift around him, the voices becoming dimmer, softer. The snow wasn’t cold, not when he was already planning his afterlife with Haku. To let him know just how loved he was — is . How precious a jewel, one meant to be admired and not tucked away.
Zabuza moved his hand, the action stilted, feeling as though he was frozen to the bone. He placed his hand over Haku’s heart, bloodied fingers petting over his haori. He closed his eyes again, speaking to Haku’s heart, apologizing for the life they led, for the way it all came crashing down so quickly.
A soft shiver ran through him, a comforting touch to his soul, a response that he knew could only be from the man beside him.
He knew Haku wouldn’t have asked for anything different. The pair found one another when they most needed someone else. Someone to help, to fill that lonely ache… to love. And at the end of the day, at the end of the world, they had one another, and that was all that mattered.