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“Could you bring me some glue?” Helen asks from her spot at the table, never looking up from whatever it is that she’s doing.
“You finished the other one already?” Madeline replies, sounding mildly distressed.
“Yes, and?”
“And do you think glue just grows on trees?” She asks, hands now on her hips.
“No, but I do know they sell it at the store down the street.”
“That’s beside the point, Hel. We need this glue to keep us looking like normal people.”
“Mad, we have like nineteen boxes of glue in the closet.”
“Yes, and it used to be twenty.”
Helen stares at her, unamused.
Madeline huffs. “How far do you think nineteen boxes is gonna go in the long run, Hel? We’re already one box down and we’re talking about eternity here.”
“Alright, pass me the glue and I’ll order you another twenty boxes later.”
At first, Madeline’s still annoyed that Helen doesn’t seem to be taking this as seriously as she is, but then she thinks of all those extra boxes of glue arriving at their door and she feels a little better about it. Surely they can spare another one for Helen and her little craft projects, however silly Madeline finds them to be.
“Thank you.” Helen says, taking the bottle from her and smiling, as she applies glue to a picture of a butterfly that she’s cut from a magazine.
“What is this anyway?” Madeline asks, staring down at the mess of magazine cut outs and glitter and scrap paper.
“It’s my vision board.” Helen replies, proudly and Madeline pulls a concerned, if slightly unimpressed, face. “What? Just because you have no hobbies.”
“I just had no idea you were still the same little nerd I used to be roommates with.”
“Yes you did.”
“Yes I did.” Madeline agrees, watching her shake glitter onto the collection of glue hearts she just made. She stays there for a little while, just watching, until eventually she sighs, placing a hand on the back of Helen’s chair. Helen gives her zero reaction, so she sighs again, this time louder. When there’s still nothing from the other woman, Madeline places a hand on her shoulder and lets out the loudest, most dramatic sigh of her life.
Helen finally looks up from her vision board, staring blankly ahead, as she asks, “What?”
“I’m just so bored.” Madeline tells her, squeezing her shoulder, her hand slowly sliding its way up to her neck. Helen tries to ignore the hint of warmth it sparks in her.
“Go feed your goldfish or something.”
“But I already fed Goldie Hawn today and I can’t keep feeding her every time I’m bored, the poor thing looks like she swallowed a ping pong ball.” Madeline says, genuine concern in her tone.
“Honey, when I told you to get a pet to occupy your time, I meant, like, a cat or something.” Helen says, now sticking a picture of Marilyn Monroe down on her vision board.
“Oh, we can’t have a cat, haven’t you heard the stories about cats who eat their owners after they’ve died?” Madeline asks, both sounding and looking horrified. “What if it can sense that we’re already dead? What if I lie down to rest my eyes and when I open them again, I’m missing a finger?”
“A hamster then.” Helen replies, her tone totally lacking concern.
Madeline tilts her head to one side, really considering it, before waving a hand in the air and saying, “Nah, the little hamster noises would drive me crazy. You know, they only sleep during the day and then spend all night drinking from their little hamster bottles and running on one of those stupid little wheels?”
“A fucking turtle then, why do you know so much about animals all of a sudden?”
“I have a lot of time on my hands, Hel, it’s not my fault if I spend ten hours a day watching cat videos.”
“Great, so go do that.”
Madeline lets out a humph, but refuses to be defeated just yet.
“What’s Marilyn on there for?” She eventually asks, feeling a twinge of jealousy that Helen would put a beautiful woman like that on her vision board.
“You can’t guess?”
Madeline shrugs, pouting a little.
“Marilyn is there to symbolise the gorgeous blonde woman I see in my future.” She tells her, not quite allowing herself to smirk when Madeline’s pout grows more prominent. “I know she’s in my future because she’s incessantly followed me through my past too.” She says, looking up at Madeline with raised brows. “And my present.” Madeline’s features finally soften. “I just can’t seem to shake her.”
“Lucky you, that doesn’t sound so terrible.”
“Oh, it’s fucking
dreadful.”
Helen says and Madeline’s face immediately drops once more, making Helen cackle. But then she looks up apologetically. “Oh,
baby,
I’m kidding.” She tells her, with a little pout of her own, as she squeezes the blonde’s hand. “It was only dreadful for the first thirty years, that’s all.”
“That’s it, I’m leaving.”
“Thank God.”
Madeline begins to storm away, but Helen catches her by the arm.
“Oh, come on, I am kidding, I swear. Mostly.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
Helen’s expression turns to one of complete sweetness and innocence, as she takes both of Madeline’s hands. “But you love it.” She says, voice just as sweet. Madeline continues to glare at her. “Come on, how can I make it up to you?” Madeline shrugs, pout now back on her lips, her brows knit together. “Wanna make out?”
Madeline makes a useless attempt not to give in so easily, but it takes mere seconds before her face softens once more and she nods. Helen pulls her closer, but then Madeline stops, lifts her chin, looking down at Helen with a look of conceit, as she says, “But not for too long. I have to get to the pet store before it closes.”
“I thought you couldn’t deal with hamster noises.”
“I can’t, but now that I think about it, I did see a little turtle the other day and I’ve decided to give Liza Mishelli a home with us.”
“Of course you have.”
“We’ll make great turtle mothers. You know, people usually have to pass them down to their children since they live so long, but that won’t be a problem with us.”
“Wow, you’ve really thought of everything.”
“Well, not everything, I’ll probably need to pick up a handbook, but–”
“Hey, Mad?” Helen interrupts, voice all sweetness again.
“Hm?”
“Shut up and kiss me, okay?”
“Right.” Madeline nods, immediately straddling Helen in her chair and wrapping both arms around her neck. She grins, glancing from her eyes to her lips, already leaning in when Helen stops her.
“Liza Mishelli?”
“It’s good, right?” Madeline says, looking far too pleased with herself.
“It’s certainly something.” Helen replies and then leans in even closer, whispering, “Just like you.” Before finally kissing her.