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"I'm in love with Ryuuji! I held back because I want you to have him! Please have a great relationship together!" Minori screams as she runs through the hall alongside Ryuuji, chasing after Taiga.
Ryuuji screeches to a halt.
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second..." he says, confused.
"Yes... I admit it... I've been in love with you for a while... But I don't want to take what you and Taiga have together... Please, be a good husband for her..." Minori sniffles.
"What the fuck are you talking about????" Ryuuji asks politely.
"Everyone can see it, you two are a match made in heaven... I don't want to get in the way of your or Taiga's happiness..."
Ryuuji scratches his head, "What?"
"I can see your feelings for each other in your every interaction... The way you make her lunch for her, the way you help her get ready in the morning, the way you calm her down when she's having a temper tantrum..."
Ryuuji stares blankly at Minori, "It sounds more like you're describing the relationship between a father and daughter."
Minori continues, "The way you get her a fresh pair of pants when she shits herself, the way you read her a bedtime story to get her to sleep, the way you help her learn new words..."
Ryuuji stares even more blankly at Minori, "Now it just sounds like you're describing the relationship between a father and a toddler. Wait, how do you know about the bedtime stories?"
"You're perfect for each other..." she says.
Ryuuji shakes his head, "Anyway, earlier you said you were in love with me? I feel the same way. Want to go on a date?"
"No, I want you and Taiga to go on a date. Your love for her is undeniable... I don't want to tear apart what you have together..."
Ryuuji raises an eyebrow, "Wha-? Listen, I may love Taiga, but that love is neither romantic nor sexual. My love for her is purely platonic, my love for you is romantic, and my love for Ami is sexual... Wait, ignore that last part about Ami."
Minori rolls her eyes, "You're lying to yourself. I saw how red your face went when you put your hand under her swimsuit."
Ryuuji's face goes pale, "You saw that...?"
"Yep, and the way that you were blushing told me everything I need to know..."
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait! I was only blushing because I felt like some kind of sick pedophile! It was out of embarrassment, not arousal! And I was helping her pad her chest, not groping her!"
"You kind of sound like someone making excuses on To Catch a Predator but I'm just gonna brush past that... Please stop lying to yourself..."
Ryuuji puts his head in his hands. He thinks to himself, ponders. Maybe Minori is right?
After pondering for a few minutes, Ryuuji eventually reaches an epiphany. He bursts open the front door and sprints out of the school, in search of Taiga.
He thinks long and hard about where Taiga would run off to... "Of course! That's it!" he shouts, charging towards the daycare center.
Ryuuji arrives at the daycare center and, sure enough, there's Taiga, standing at the door.
"Yo." he calls out to her.
"Ryuuji? How'd you find me?" she asks.
"That's besides the point... There's something I need to tell you..." he prepares to make his confession.
"Oh. I... I have something I need to tell you as well... You go first."
Ryuuji takes a deep breath, "I've... I've fallen in love..."
Taiga blushes, "Ryuuji... I... I feel the same way... I needed some time to think about it, but I've come to the realization that... Well... That I love..." she stops mid-sentence, being cut off by Ryuuji.
"With Ami."
Taiga freezes in place. Her face slowly begins to redden further.
Ryuuji continues, "I thought that Minori was the one for me, but she told me to look deep into my heart, to find my true feelings... I decided to take her advice, and I'm glad I did! This whole time, I thought I wanted a cute, cheerful girl like Minori, when in reality, I wanted a hot, sexy piece of ass like Ami!"
"Oh, uh, yeah... That's... Yeah..." Taiga coughs, her face as bright as a fresh tomato.
"And I love you, Taiga."
Her face goes as bright as the sun, steam starts coming out of her ears. She runs to hug Ryuuji.
"You're like a daughter to me."
She stops dead in her tracks.
"I'm a lolicon."
She continues running.
"But I've never have a single sexual thought about you!"
She stops.
"Romantic thoughts however..."
She continues running.
"Also none!"
She stops.
Ryuuji looks at Taiga with an eyebrow raised, "What are you doing? You're running like you have the stamina of a bodybuilder. Did you not eat the lunch I made you? Sorry, I'll pick out the broccoli next time."
"FUCK YOU! STOP BLUE-BALLING ME!" Taiga yells into Ryuuji's face, before running away.
Ryuuji stares at Taiga as she runs off into the distance, "Huh, she's probably hangry... I'll get her some takoyaki on the way home."
Later that day.
Ryuuji leads Ami up the stairs and they arrive at his apartment.
"Can't wait to see what you're hiding underneath that skirt..." he flirts as he opens the door.
To both Ryuuji and Ami's horror, they open the door to find Taiga's lifeless body hanging by a noose, tied to the lamp in the middle of the room. A chair lies on its side beneath her.
Ryuuji starts shaking. Ami vomits.
"NO! TAIGA! WHY!?" Ryuuji yells.
Ami wipes the vomit from her face, "To think... She'd do such a thing... I had no idea..." she continues vomiting.
Ryuuji spots a small note on the floor beneath Taiga's corpse. He reluctantly walks closer and picks it up.
"Dear Ryuuji. Fuck you. This is your fault. You're a cunt. Rot in hell. Die."
Ryuuji crumples up the paper and begins to cry. The last thing Taiga did before death, was have a temper tantrum.
