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There are several stages you have to get through when being with a person, and Wade thinks he's finally hit the jackpot with Vanessa. Not the jackpot jackpot, considering that's long since been hit, but the physical and emotional perks kind of jackpot.
Those perks include, but aren't limited to, five minutes or three minutes becoming the entire night. Longer cuddles. Waking up to her in the morning. Pet names (sugar booger has already been ruled out by Vanessa. Snugglebutt, however, is still negotiable.) Using the word "girlfriend" instead of thinking shit shit shit what do I call her right as "this is my... Vanessa" just word vomited right out of him when he'd first properly introduced her to Weasel. Her apartment turning into their apartment.
He's still trying to figure out which perk is the best of all, but he doesn't mind testing them all until he figures it out.
Of course, another perk is being able to use her shower (their shower now? might as well be, after what they did in it last week) while she's out.
His shampoo sits next to hers and he can still hear Weasel saying, "there's something disgustingly endearing about a macho guy like yourself getting all gushy about the little things."
He reaches up to grab the soap and while he does, to complete the showering privileges experience, Wade starts to hum a familiar song under his breath, until the humming turns into actual, high-pitched, Juice Newton style singing.
"Maybe the sun's light will be dim."
He finishes with the soap and switches it out for the shampoo.
"And it won't matter anyhow."
He forgets the next part of the song.
"If morning's echo says we've sinned... hmm hmmm da-daaa."
Then he puts the shampoo back, grabbing his conditioner.
"Just call me angel of the morning, angelfuck-"
He drops the conditioner, but makes a speedy recovery.
"Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby."
When he's finished with everything Wade puts the conditioner back and turns the shower knob with his other hand. It's only when the running water has stopped he realizes there's another voice singing, loud enough to be heard from outside the bathroom door.
"Then slowly turn away," the voice sings, and it's clearly too fucking beautiful to actually be his so he knows he's not crazy, "I won't beg you to stay with me."
It's the only voice that can actually make him hop out of the shower and get some clothes on as fast as possible. He swings the bathroom door open and asks, "When did you get home?"
"A few minutes ago." The grin on Vanessa's face couldn't get any bigger. "Having fun? I thought you'd heard me when I first came in, guess I need to sing along louder next time. Oh, there's Chinese takeout on the table."
"Bad harmonies and Chinese takeout?" Wade's heart swells.
He watches as she sits on the edge of the bed, kicking off her boots. "I'd say my harmonies were pretty damn good. Yours? They could use some work."
"But who sounded the closest to Juice Newton? That's the real deal breaker." Wade joins her on the bed and tugs her back so she's looking down at him and that smile on her face is about the most gorgeous thing he's seen in a while, next to the stand of half off hotdogs he'd run into the other day.
"Hm. Fine." Vanessa places her hands on his shoulders. "You know, I'm actually thinking of another Newton song right now."
"Ride 'em, cowboy?"
"That's exactly the one."
Vanessa leans down to kiss him and this is absofuckinglutely the best perk there is, he decides. Having a person, his person, shower singing skills, bad jokes, and all.
"You know," he says as she nibbles on his ear, "this is a sign, a sign that you complete me. All the way."
"You're getting soft," she says like the Wade Wilson mind reader she is.
"You're the only person I'd want to go soft for." His voice sounds light but he means it and he knows she knows that.
Vanessa stares at a certain spot and raises her eyebrows. "Only metaphorically, of course?"
"God, I love you."
It takes a few minutes for Vanessa to say anything else. She's tossing what clothes they've both managed to get off aside when she looks up in shock, like she's just remembered something.
"Wait!" She gasps. "The Chinese takeout!"
And as he watches her scramble off the bed, half naked and wide eyed, straight towards the kitchen, Wade's heart swells again.
Maybe all of the perks are going to be the best perks.