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When they’re freed, Damon follows Kai to California.
There’s no universe he’s going to allow them to be split up (and Kai’s the one with his own apartment) so he gets on a plane and follows him home.
For the first few days, they don’t leave the house. Both of them are too anxious around other people; too quick to believe that there’s danger lurking in the shadows. So they hide.
They realize on the fourth day (when they finally turn on the television and see the news) that they’re still technically Missing Persons. Neither of them know how to go about fixing that. Do they just walk into a police station and say, “Hey- we’re back! Everyone else died, and we don’t know where their bodies are, or even what happened to us, but we’re back”?
Apparently, the train was hijacked by some unknown assailants. All the other students were left onboard and their class was kidnapped. Eden’s Garden Academy claims they have no idea who could’ve possibly had such an agenda against their students. Damon and Kai still don’t know if they’re telling the truth.
Of course, their realization leads to another: Damon’s parents still don’t know he’s alive. He feels like he should tell them, but if he calls they’ll freak out and force him to go ‘home’.
How can he explain that home is wherever Kai is; how his chest constricts even when they separate to use the bathroom.
Damon sits on the bathroom floor while Kai showers for God’s sake. He wouldn’t survive being dragged back across the country.
Still, it’s inevitable that they’ll eventually be recognized. Their kitchen is no longer magically stocked with all the necessities of life; they have to leave to run their own errands.
So on day 6, they do actually go to a police station.
They’re questioned for hours, though they don’t give very many answers. Sometimes they don’t explain things because they don’t know how, but for most things being asked they’re just clueless. The police try to separate them but Kai screams loudly enough that they give up on that idea.
Really, only two pieces of information are given up. Their kidnappers were a British man wearing a goat’s mask, and a silent woman wearing a panther’s mask. The goat and the panther killed all the other students but freed Damon and Kai after they were the last two left standing.
They don’t explain the killing game- who would believe them? Their story is already far-fetched enough as it is. He can tell the only reason the police are listening to them is because of the global attention the case has gathered.
“We’re going to hold a press conference,” the chief of police informs them. “You’ll likely have to answer questions from the media.”
“We won’t be doing that,” Damon responds sharply. “We’d like to go home now.”
“Kid, you boys won’t be able to just disappear. I’m not sure there’s a single person on earth who hasn’t gotten invested in this case. Shouldn’t you be used to the attention, being Ultimates?”
“They can fuck off,” Kai decides. Damon has to hold back a laugh; it’s funny seeing the cop’s face turn red.
“This is serious. We need to find who did this. Don’t you want justice for your classmates?”
“What is justice?” Damon laughs, though it’s hollow. “They won’t be brought back to life, will they?”
“Fine. Then what if this group decides to do this again?”
“There’s nothing you’ll be able to do to stop them.”
“Can we just go, please?” Kai’s voice cracks as he pleads. “We told you everything we know.”
They haven’t, but they’ve told them everything they’ll believe.
Damon adds on, “Unless you’re going to arrest us. I’m sure that will go over well.”
The chief stares at them, as if looking for something else to hold over them, but ends up just sighing. “Fine. But we have to announce the developments to the public. Where are you staying?”
“My apartment,” Kai answers for them.
“We’ll get you a safe house. I’m shocked no one’s found you there yet; it’s not like it’s private information.”
That’s a fair point; Damon knew that Kai had been doxxed but was still surprised when he looked out the window on their first morning back and noticed people putting pink flowers outside on the street. Thankfully the building had pretty good security, and Kai still had his key so they were able to sneak in and out through the back.
“Thank you.”
They’re arranged a ride to the safe house; on the way there, Damon calls his mother. The chief told them that their reappearance will be announced at a press conference scheduled for noon tomorrow but who knows if someone will leak the information sooner than that?
Even though he’s been putting this off, he can’t allow his parents to find out he’s alive from anyone other than them.
His hands shake while he selects the contact; Kai places a hand on his knee, steadying him.
It only takes a single ring before his mother picks up. “Damon? Is that you?”
She doesn’t sound like the mother he left behind. Her voice is shaky, and she sounds almost frantic.
Suddenly, he’s unable to find his voice. After he doesn’t reply, she continues, “Damon? Baby? Are you there? Or. Or are you the people who took him? How dare-.”
“Mom,” he cuts her off. “Mom. I’m okay.”
Instantly, he can hear her start to cry. “My baby. Oh my god. Oh my god. HONEY?”
Her voice grows hoarse shouting for his father. It’s worth it, though, because he’s able to talk to both of his parents. He’s thankful for Kai’s silent presence, how he doesn’t react when he starts to sob.
They ask him when he got back- he tells them a few days ago but that he wanted to wait until he was sure it was safe to call them. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. He evades questions about what happened, about who took him. There’s no need to lie about how little he knows; the circumstances around them actually being taken are still unknown.
As far as anyone knows, they were held in a strange facility under a false sky. They were killed seemingly randomly, until only Kai and Damon remained and they were let go. It sounds crazy, but much more believable than the truth.
Of course, the question he’s been dreading inevitably comes. “When are you coming home?”
“Not for a long time,” he admits shakily. “It’s not safe for me at home, probably. And I can’t leave Kai.”
“What do you mean? There’s no safer place on earth than home. Don’t be foolish.”
“I’m sorry.”
His mother weeps over the phone, and resorts to begging for him to return. It’s painful; he wishes he could grant her what she wants but he’s not sure he’d survive the separation from Kai. And he doesn’t know how to be normal yet, he can’t just pick his life up where he left it.
In the end, he promises he’ll be back for Christmas. It’s still two months away- that should be long enough for he and Kai to acclimate enough to travel.
After he hangs up the phone, Kai moves his hand from Damon’s knee to his hand. At least they aren’t alone in all of this.
The safe house is still in California but far outside the city. It’s a small town of sorts, the kind of community they can live a peaceful life in. When they put on face masks, sunglasses, and hoodies no one recognizes them.
Damon learns Kai is a terrible cook, but that he’s surprisingly diligent when it comes to cleaning. Neither of them like to go online, and Kai refuses to consume anything with any sort of violence. Damon goes the opposite way, instead enjoying gruesome mysteries. In a fucked up way watching them makes the killing game feel even more like that: a game.
The world is still obsessed with their case, even though it’s over. Occasionally they turn on the tv TV and watch the news coverage about them. Everyone is desperate to find them for an interview.
One night on TV, the news shows a gathering that some of Kai’s followers have put together. It’s a candlelight tribute, meant to mourn their classmates and show Kai that they’re supporting him.
“Maybe I should say something,” Kai mumbles.
“You don’t have to,” Damon quickly reminds him.
There’s something heartwarming about seeing the effort that Kai’s fans put in. Damon still doesn’t believe they love him, doesn’t believe that’s possible, but they clearly do care for him.
Of course, that doesn’t mean Kai needs to address them. If he’s not ready, he’s not ready.
“I think I want to.”
At those words, Damon agrees, “Okay.”
Who is he to tell Kai what he can and can’t do? They’re free now: that means they can make choices for themselves.
Preparing to film a video for them requires going to the drug store and buying some hair dye. Kai’s hair has grown out enough that he really only has pink tips; Damon thinks it’s cute right now but Kai wants to protect his image.
While Kai is looking for the right colour, Damon buys a box of black dye. Like Kai, his hair has grown out so only the ends are blonde. This would be a good opportunity to fix his roots but he doesn’t want that.
Blonde was a look he chose to properly personify the image of the Ultimate Debater. Now, that doesn’t feel like him. Damon has morphed into something else: a survivor.
Not a hero, not anything to strive towards, just someone who was lucky enough to live.
When Kai walks out of the bathroom with freshly pink hair there’s something startling about it. He looks even fresher than he did at the start of the killing game- younger too. Somehow, the circles under his eyes are less harsh.
As happy as he is for the other, suddenly he feels distant.
It looks so easy for Kai to fall into filming mode. The message he gives his fans is sweet and earnest- Damon understands how strangers become so enamoured with him.
For the first time Damon wonders if maybe he and Kai aren’t as alike as he thought. There’s no way he’ll be able to return to debate any time soon; he feels unworthy of his title. Somehow, he can’t see himself ever truly picking up the pieces of himself that are left after all they’ve been through.
Then as soon as the camera turns off Kai falls to his knees and lets out a gut wrenching sob. Damon instantly rushes to wrap his arms around him- to be the support he needs in this moment. A dark part of him is relieved that Kai is still hurting just as much as he is. Of course it hurts to see him in pain but misery loves company.
“I don’t know if I want to do that again,” Kai admits once he’s finished crying.
“Then don’t.”
Damon says it like it’s simple because it is. They are free now: they owe nothing to anyone.
The fans eat up the video anyway. It ignites their fervour to see Kai; they want access to him. While they avoid online comments, even the news is talking about it.
Before, Damon found himself frustrated that the world didn’t yet pay attention to his genius. Now he wishes he could go back to being a niche micro-celebrity.
He can tell that the whole ordeal is stressing Kai out, so he decides to film a video of his own. He doesn’t tell the former influencer first, knowing he’d only try to stop him.
There’s not nearly as much production for this video as there was for Kai’s. With his newly fully black hair, he films a simple video.
“Hello, my name is Damon Maitsu. I am safe, I am home. Please stop bothering Kai. In the aftermath of all that has happened we would just like some privacy. We hope you understand.”
Short, sweet, and to the point. Annoyingly, his video makes people go even crazier than Kai’s had. He supposes it’s because he didn’t have much of a social media presence before this.
Due to how big the kidnapping story got, the fact that Kai used to be much more famous than he him doesn’t matter anymore. The story’s audience is so broad that Kai’s initial fanbase only makes up a small portion of the people invested. Until now, Kai has been spoken about like he is the more accessible one while Damon has been a mystery.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Kai groans when he sees the video on the news, flicking Damon in the cheek. “Asking them to leave us alone will never work, this is just gonna make it worse.”
“We don’t know that. We hadn’t clearly stated our boundaries before.”
“Since when does the internet care about boundaries? Did you see the comments under your video? People were being straight up disgusting considering the context.”
Much to his chagrin, he has seen the comments Kai is referring to. A few of them made him feel dirty enough that he had to take a shower.
“Of course people are going to ignore us, but any fan of yours that’s genuine should respect your wishes. And encourage others to do the same.”
“We’ll see.”
Kai is right; the video doesn’t really work. Damon is right too, though, that Kai’s most rabid fans back off. Without them, it’s easy to take amusement in the whole thing.
The days bleed together. Everything feels the same, nothing changes. The mundanity is killing him; they’re stuck in a weird limbo that neither of them know how to pull themselves out of.
At least they have each other, Damon thinks while he cuddles with Kai at night, unable to sleep.
Then one rainy day Kai enters from outside holding a soaked black kitten.
“I found them outside, shivering,” Kai explains. “I waited to see if their mother is around, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.”
The words aren’t spoken but it’s clear Kai wants to take in the stray. And Damon has always been a cat guy- he can’t say no. Not to Kai, not when he looks so earnest.
“Okay,” he agrees, walking over to pet the cat. “But I get to name them.”
“You’re gonna name them something dumb.”
As soon as they calm the kitten down they bring them to the vet. Their kitten is a boy without any of his shots, so they have to stick around while the poor thing gets everything he needs. They’ll have to bring him back to fix him, but for now he’s young enough it’s not needed.
Damon names him Lucas.
They’re a family of three now, and the shared responsibility of making sure Lucas has the best life ever helps push them out of their ruts. It’s nice having something to care for, something that he can actually help.
Time still doesn’t feel real, though. He thinks it’s because of the weather: it shouldn’t be so hot at the beginning of December. Their neighbours start putting up Christmas lights, but it just feels wrong when he’s still warm outside wearing anything but a t-shirt.
Still, he wants to fit in with their neighbours. While he won’t be attending any street barbecues, he’d like to be seen as unremarkable. If they’re the only house on the street without lights then people will probably whisper about them, and that’s no good.
So he drags Kai out to buy lights with him. When they’re home and untangling the strings, they hear a knock at the door.
That’s not normal; concerned, Damon orders Kai to stay in the living room then grabs a knife from the kitchen and approaches the door. He can’t think of any reason anyone would come to their house- no one even knows they live there.
Holding the knife behind his back, he opens the door to find a girl probably around aged 13.
“Hello, sir!”
“Hello.”
He grips the knife tighter: he’s not afraid of a little girl, he’s not.
But she reminds him of Toshiko, and suddenly he feels himself slipping away. He doesn’t want to go back there, but his mind is trapping him in a living nightmare.
“Would you like to buy some cookie dough? My school is selling it to raise money for families that can’t afford to buy Christmas presents for their kids.”
There’s an eager smile on her face- not a hint of maniacal planning. It’s all wrong, Toshiko would never look that earnest. She desperately craved to be taken seriously- to be considered as a peer rather than someone to protect.
Damon still wanted to protect her; they all should have. He couldn’t though. In the end he failed to save everyone except the person who mattered most. How can he live with the fact that he always put Kai before them? Shouldn’t it be him who died?
“What flavours are you offering?” Kai saves him, not for the first time. His voice causes Damon to snap back into what’s happening, and look down at the now frightened girl. Fuck.
“We have chocolate chip, oatmeal, funfetti, white chocolate fudge, candy cane, and ginger snap.”
“Wow. Those all sound great, right Damon?”
He nods.
Kai continues, “We’ll take one of everything.”
“Really?” A huge grin spreads over the girl’s features.
“Yeah. We love cookies.”
That’s half true; Damon doesn’t mind cookies, and will enjoy them if they’re offered, but he doesn’t have the sweet tooth Kai does.
“The families are really going to appreciate it, sir!”
“And your class is going to win the pizza party for selling the most, right?” Kai winks at her.
God, he’s so fucking charming. It’s not fair.
“How’d you know?”
“I’m not that old.”
The girl passes over the form for Kai to enter all of his information. She explains that if he doesn’t have cash (they don’t) he can put in his email and the school will send him a link to pay online.
When Kai hands her back the sheet, she looks it over to make sure everything was filled in right. Then, she drops the paper.
“Oh my god,” she whispers.
“Shit,” Kai mumbles. “I probably should’ve expected that.”
Damon is less than impressed. “You used your real name?”
“I had to! Otherwise we might not get the cookies.”
“Now some random school has our address. Fuck. The chief is gonna kill us.”
“You’re Kai Monteago!” the girl finally exclaims.
“Please keep your voice down,” Kai pleads. “And don’t tell anyone we’re here.”
“And you’re Damon Maitsu! Oh my god.”
Damon gives her a wave with the hand not holding a knife.
“I can’t believe we’re going to have to move because of cookies,” Kai groans.
“I would've told you not to use your real name if I knew.”
“Don’t worry! All of the information we gather is strictly confidential!”
Somehow, Damon doesn’t trust that.
“Look,” he sighs. “Can we have the form back? We’ll fill out a new one, using a fake name this time, and no one has to know it’s us here. As long as you don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t!” she swears, so earnest that Damon has to believe her. He fills out the form this time, then passes it back to her. Right before the leaves she tells them, “I hope they catch whoever did that to you!”
“Me too.” Kai’s smile is sad, knowing that their hopes won’t come true.
Damon collapses against Kai once the door is closed, absolutely exhausted from the interaction.
“I don’t know if I’ll be ready for Christmas,” he admits. “My parents are going to expect me to be normal. And I can’t even open the door without holding a knife.”
“You don’t have to go,” Kai reminds him kindly, wrapping an arm around him.
“You’re coming too, right?”
Damon realizes he never officially asked Kai but the idea of navigating this without him seems impossible.
Despite Damon thinking it was obvious Kai would come, he looks shocked. “Um, would you guys want me there?”
“I would.”
“What about your parents?”
“I don’t care.”
Kai gives him a sad smile. “I do. I can’t ruin Christmas.”
“You don’t have to go,” Damon tells him. “But I’ll stay here with you.”
“Don’t be stupid. Your parents want to see you; if you don’t wanna go, don’t go, but don’t stay here because of me.”
Suddenly, Damon feels angry. What is Kai suggesting? That they spend a week apart? Damon still struggles to breathe properly when Kai is in the other room- he doesn’t know if he’d survive that much distance.
Clearly that feeling isn’t mutual.
“Whatever.” It’s a petty response but Damon is angry and doesn’t want to blow up at Kai. Before the conversation can continue, he pulls away from the embrace and stomps to their room.
He closes the door behind him, hard. Kai must get the message because he doesn’t follow.
After only two minutes, his skin begins to crawl. There’s that little voice in his head telling him that anything could be happening to Kai while they’re apart. Who knows what danger is lurking in the shadows?
Except they’re safe, and they’re free, and Damon needs to get over his separation anxiety. If Kai doesn’t feel this burning need to be together at all times, Damon should just get rid of it.
Time passes, but Damon doesn’t know how much. He’s just curled in bed, clinging to Kai’s pillow and reminding himself that there’s nothing to be afraid of.
The door eventually opens, and Kai enters. He takes a seat beside Damon on the bed. “So, like, are you going to tell me why you’re mad?”
“I’m not mad,” Damon mumbles into the pillow.
“Okay. Why’d you storm off?”
Damon sighs, hating how immature he feels. There’s nothing he hates more than acting on his emotions but lately he’s felt so out of control. “I don’t know. It’s dumb.”
“Probably.”
“Okay, asshole.”
“You don’t get to call me an asshole right now.”
“Did you just come in here to fight?”
“No. I came in here to talk about you being a dick but you’re still being a dick. So.”
Damon sits up and glares at him. “Maybe you’re the one being a dick.”
“Then tell me how!” Kai practically explodes.
Damon looks down, unable to find the words. Finally he forces himself to say, “You don’t care if I leave.”
At Damon’s confession, Kai’s voice gets softer. “Where did you get that idea?”
“You’re trying to tell me to go home for Christmas without you.”
“I’m not telling you to do anything, I just don’t want you to worry about me.”
“I do!” Damon shouts, unable to help himself. “I worry about you all the time! Constantly! If you’re not beside me I’m just bracing myself to stumble in on your body.”
“Don’t you think I feel the same way?” Kai yells back. “God, the idea of you travelling across the country makes me want to gauge my eyeballs out but I can’t be that selfish! I’ve already stolen you from your whole life!”
“You didn’t steal me. I chose to follow you.”
Kai’s eyes are filling up with tears; Damon wants to reach out and wipe them away but he manages to stop himself. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I didn’t have a family waiting for me like you did. You’re all I have.”
In some fucked up way, that fills Damon with pride.
“You’re all I have too.” Damon takes his hand and moves closer to him. “You’re the only person in the world who understands what happened. I need you just as much as you need me. Maybe more.”
Kai laughs at that, disbelieving.
He insists, “It’s true.”
Inside the game, they needed each other to survive. They were each other’s alibis, their supports, their protection against killers. None of that has changed even though their circumstances have.
“I need to tell you something. I think it’s time,” Kai decides, his shoulders tight.
Damon looks at him curiously, wondering what Kai could possibly have to tell him. As far as Damon knows, they have no secrets left. “What is it?”
“You can ignore that I ever said this, but I think it’s killing me inside not to say anything. And maybe we need to be better about saying things out loud to each other. I don’t know. Anyways. I, um, I love you.”
Woah.
Okay, out of everything Kai could’ve said this was possibly the last thing Damon would’ve expected.
From an outsiders perspective, he knows exactly what this looks like. They live together, spend every second together, even sleep together (in a literal bed-sharing way). Except all of this developed inside a killing game, an environment so far removed from romance that it has always just felt natural.
Still, Damon doesn’t have to think about what he feels for even a second. He loves Kai, maybe he always has. It’s not like he’s been anticipating that one day they’ll separate- he’s chosen to spend his life with the other forever. In whatever capacity Kai wants.
“You confess your love before the first date? Wow,” he can’t help but tease.
“I actually hate you.” Kai punches him on the arm, light enough that he barely feels it.
“I thought you loved me?”
“Never mind.”
Damon smirks. “Okay. Well, I was going to reply to your confession but if you took it back…”
“This is not a normal reaction,” Kai points out. Then, his eyes fill with false tears. “You’re being mean. I laid my heart out to you.”
“I’ve always been mean. And you love me anyway. And I love you even though you’re a crybaby.”
Kai tackles him. At first he’s annoyed but it leads to his first kiss so he gets over it quickly.
Despite the new developments being overall happy, Kai insists that they need help. He claims their codependency isn’t healthy, and they need to find ways to deal with it.
Damon, on the other hand, doesn’t see the problem. It’s only a problem if they decide they want space, and he doesn’t want that. When he tells Kai this, he gets told that’s an even bigger problem.
It’s a work in progress like everything else. Damon acknowledges that they probably need to be more proactive in their recovery from everything that happened.
Other than that, nothing changes. They aren’t even much more physical with each other than they were before. It’s really only the kissing (and other things) that’s new.
“I think we should actually go on a date,” Damon suggests about a week after the confession. “It might be good practise for existing in public.”
“Are you asking me out? I guess I’ll think about it.”
“Never mind.”
Obviously, they plan a date anyway. Damon thinks through the options and decides that seeing a movie is the best choice: it’s dark so they won’t be recognized, and there will be minimal interaction with the outside world.
On the Saturday they’ve planned the date for, Damon presents Kai with flowers. He considers going outside and knocking on the door, but after the incident with the girl he decides it’s not the best idea. Kai is pleased but a little angry because he didn’t think to get Damon anything.
“You can buy the popcorn,” Damon offers, and that’s enough to appease Kai.
They picked out some kid’s movie: not a very romantic atmosphere. It seems like the safest choice, though.
Inside the theatre, after the previews, the lights go down and Damon realizes he’s made a mistake. While the dark means no one will see their faces, he also underestimated his fear of what could be lurking in the shadows. At home they’re okay in the dark but this isn’t a controlled space. Anyone could be here.
He grips Kai’s hand the whole time, barely touching the popcorn. Despite the light subject matter, it’s the most stressed he’s ever felt watching a film.
Needless to say, he breathes a sigh of relief when the lights go up.
“Sorry,” he apologizes as they’re walking home. Thankfully they chose a matinee so it’s still bright out. “That was a stupid idea.”
“No, this was fun!” Kai disagrees, stopping in place. He turns and gives Damon a blinding smile. “It was a perfect first date!”
Damon points to Kai’s still red hand, “I think your hand is going to bruise.”
“I don’t care. I got to spend time with you, that’s all that matters.”
“We always spend time together.”
“You got me flowers, that’s new.”
“I just wish I could give you an actually perfect first date,” Damon admits.
That’s the problem, isn’t it? Damon used to feel perfect, in fact he’s been told his ego may have been a little too high. Now, though? He doesn’t debate anymore, has no future prospects, and can barely navigate the world. He’s the farthest thing from perfect and that’s what Kai deserves.
Kai takes a step closer to him and places a hand on his cheek. “You’re supposed to be the smart one, Damon. Isn’t it just as much my job to give you the perfect first date?”
“I don’t care about that.”
“Then why do you think I do?”
It’s a good question, even if he can’t think of a response. That used to annoy him; now, he’s just happy Kai is smiling at him.
Kai is alive, Kai is happy, Damon is alive, Damon is happy.
Isn’t that all that matters?
“Let’s keep walking.” Kai takes his hand and pulls him forward. “I don’t want poor Lucas starving to death.”
“We fed him this morning. You spoil him too much.”
“I spoil him exactly as much as he deserves.”
“I love you,” Damon says suddenly. Now that it’s something they say, he finds himself reminding Kai a lot.
“On the first date? Scandalous!”
“Shut up, please.”
He doesn’t; Damon wouldn’t want it any other way.