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At last, after many years, he was back. Sumeru had changed a lot since he last was here. Kaveh smiled feeling nostalgic and started walking towards the inn he had rented for the next few days. The trip from Fontaine was long, but even if he was tired, he couldn't rest.
He was excited to meet everyone again. 10 years had been a long time separated from his friends. So he left all his luggage in his room and went back outside, heading towards the Grand Bazaar. He had contacted all of them and everyone was excited about meeting.
He was really happy with this. However, he couldn't shake the feeling of sensing something was going to go wrong. He tried to convince himself that he was just being anxious and that everything would go according to plan.
Little did he know, nothing went according to his plans.
Back on his trip to the Grand Bazaar, he didn't meet anyone familiar there. Not even Nilou was present. Kaveh couldn't help but feel a little more anxious. What if his feelings weren't wrong? But he shook it off by thinking they had planned a meeting the next day with everyone.
Maybe Nilou was busy and that's why she wasn't at the Grand Bazaar. So he went for a little stroll before heading back to the inn. Unfortunately for him, he didn't meet anyone familiar during his walk either. The feeling was getting stronger by the minute, but he tried to not overthink it much.
Surely everyone must be busy, right?
He hadn't come at the usual vacation time, so everyone was busy working.
Right?
After all, they had had to make several arrangements to be able to meet all together at the same time. So, he went to sleep, waiting for the perfect next day he was going to have.
(Right?)
When he arrived at the designed place for the meeting the next day, no one was there. He checked the time and realised that, in his excitement, he had arrived half an hour before the arranged time. So he took a seat and waited.
Half an hour had passed.
15 minutes more.
Another half an hour.
No one had come yet.
He was trying everything he could not to break down. Maybe he had got the date or time wrong? He checked everything again. No, he was entirely sure he was at the right place, time and date.
After an hour from the designated time, he couldn't control his anxiety anymore. He got up and hurried outside, searching for a calm place to be alone and allow himself to break down. He remembered that spot at the House of Daena where he would always go during his student days, so he hurried there.
He was sure nobody would bother him there. As soon as he arrived, he collapsed, covering his mouth with his hand to quiet his sobs. The overwhelming feeling of being alone settled within him.
After all, he was right.
Nobody was there for him.
He had come, everyone said to be waiting for him and excited to meet again. But it was all false. He didn't want to think like that, so he tried to rationalise everything. It probably was that their schedule had gone wrong. His friends were important people out there, so it wasn't weird for them to be busy most of the time.
But it felt incredibly awful.
To be that excited about something while being anxious of everything going wrong. To be reassured by everyone that everything would go fine. And then for everything to go just as he expected...
It felt...
Awful.
Worse than that. He couldn't even describe it. It was something he expected, but he wasn't prepared for it. He saw it coming and decided to ignore it because he trusted his friends... And believe him, he didn't hate them. He knew they all had good reasons to not show up, even if he didn't know yet what reasons those were.
But the fact was that he was alone. Crying, sitting on the floor, trembling from the pain his feelings made him experience in his body. Feeling how it was more and more difficult to breathe as his anxiety roused.
He was desperate to not make any sound, so he was half choking himself just by covering his mouth. His vision was a blur, he couldn't even see his own clothes well because of the tears. And then, a sudden hand pressed against his shoulder.
A faint sound reached his ears, something that felt like his name being said. He tried to look at the owner of the hand but he found himself incapable of moving. His anxiety had crept through his whole body, making him unable to move. He started to panic even more, his breath gaining a faster pace, making him feel dizzy. His vision started to fade into black until he lost consciousness.
When he woke up, he felt something fluffy below him. It was... a bed? When did he get to one? He blinked a few times before realising he didn't recognise the place. Where was he?
“Are you awake now, Kaveh?” A voice, coming from outside the room. He was sure he knew who was the owner of that voice, but he couldn't figure it out.
“I... I am.” His voice came out lower than he expected and he noticed his throat was dry. Just then, someone came through the door. A tall man he would recognise everywhere. His cute junior, now turned into a wonderful man... So that voice was his.
That's why he knew he recognised it. He was holding a glass of water in his hand, and as he got closer, he offered it to Kaveh.
“Thank you” He took the glass and tried to drink it slowly while looking at him. “I see you're better now. Would you mind telling me about what made you be like that?”
Oh. Right. Al-Haitham was aware of the date of the meeting because he had said he was going to be busy every day. Kaveh's gaze went looking back down, him being embarrassed of telling the truth to his junior.
“Um, do you remember the meeting we were planning? The one you said you couldn't come to since you were going to be busy everyday?”
“Yes, I remember. What about that?” But before Kaveh could answer, he understood it all. ”Oh. So you were sad because no one went to it?” Kaveh flushed a bit and nodded.
It was very childish from him to feel that way about it, really. He knew his friends were busy, he had no reason to react that way. He should have known it could happen. But before his mind could keep on making him feel bad for feeling sad earlier, he felt a pair of arms hugging him.
“Hai... Tham?” He couldn't believe his eyes. Haitham, the same one who claimed to hate physical contact, hugging him on his free will?
”It must have been awful, didn't it?” He hugged his senior tighter, knowing very well how much Kaveh struggled with friendship and feeling loved by everyone. “I'm really sorry I couldn't go. To be honest, I really hate my job and current work hours. I'd loved to be there. I'm sorry, Kaveh.”
He couldn't resist it. The tears came down his cheeks once again, but at least, he wasn't having a panic attack now. He hugged him tighter, hiding his face in Haitham's neck. “Thank you, for taking care of me. I'm sorry for being such a mess of a senior.”
“Don't be. I love you just like this.”
Kaveh's eyes opened wide at that. Did Haitham just confess? And also, how could he love him? He was a mess, and he had been away for years.
“Don't overthink it. I've loved you since way before you moved out. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.”
“I...“ Kaveh was taken aback by this. He didn't know how to respond.
”Just tell me one thing. Do you love me?”
“I... I do... I've loved you since way before moving out...“ Even if he tried, he couldn't stop his tears. “I'm sorry, I…”
Haitham smiled and swept them away. Then, he kissed Kaveh slowly. “I'm here for you, senior. Anytime you need me, I'll be there. Even if you don't tell me, I'll know.” Another kiss.
”That's right, how did you know I was there?”
“I got the feeling something was wrong with you. It took me a while, but I found you just where I thought you'd be if you wanted to be alone.”
Kaveh buried his face on Haitham's shirt, embarrassed of being so predictable. “I'm sorry for causing you trouble. You even said you're really busy…”
Haitham gently caressed Kaveh's cheek, making them face each other. “Kaveh. I love you. You're not causing me any trouble. In fact, I tried to get my schedule free because I knew you were coming and I wanted to be with you. And guess what?”
“You did? Are you going to be with me for the whole trip?” Kaveh's eyes got back his light, happy with the news. The previous meeting was already forgotten, his mind filled with plans for his holidays with his best friend, no, boyfriend Haitham.
Pd: it turned out everyone was indeed busy, all of them contacted Kaveh saying they were sorry and they ended up having the meeting the following day at Haitham's house.
Pd2: Kaveh never went back to Fontaine ;)