Chapter Text
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Envy.
A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.
Similar : jealousy.
Omen was never an individual that thoroughly examined unwanted feelings, simply because he thought it wasn’t necessary. Especially when what he felt at the moment was jealousy out of all things. Really, he could have rather felt hunger, something he might as well seek sage for because he was a wraith, a being made of darkness, of shadows, and hunger being in him was not on the list of possible feelings.
Feelings.
A word Omen wasn’t exactly fond of. Mostly because he couldn’t understand them when it came to himself and to others. But that was fine, it just meant he was a great listener, just not a good adviser. Now, he simply couldn’t and would not dwell on such things, at least that’s what he told himself as he glared at Sova while his insides were churning and clawing at each other.
They were in the lounge, close to the kitchen, where Cypher was currently chatting up a storm with Sova, something he has grown accustomed to the last couple of days. Something that not only Omen noticed, but all of headquarters. It should’ve been fine, if only it wasn’t a mere fact that Sova and Cypher were enemies, although the whole thing was one-sided, Cypher always followed along.
Up until now.
It seemed the two grew closer together after a certain mission where for once in a lifetime, headquarters lost connection to the team while they were on the battlefield. It was a great turmoil for every agent left lounging back in HQ, while brimstone was sweating bullets and pacing around in his office trying to repeatedly contact the agents on field, Sage was ready to fly off to their last known location with everyone armored.
When dusk fell enveloping the sky that day, Brimstone had been finally able to get a connection, and he had reported back to everyone else in HQ that Cypher, Sova, Phoenix, and Skye were safe.
The only person Omen had surprisingly felt worried for was Cypher that whole day. To him, he knew it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. He and Cypher… they shared something no one else in HQ knew of, and if they did, they never spoke of it.
It was a surprise to him when he carried himself over to an exhausted Cypher and wrapped his arms around him without even processing what he was doing. It was quiet around the two for the most part when he had hugged Cypher, Skye was mumbling something to clove and they seemed to squint their eyes in question at what the other had just said while staring at him, and Brimstone was questioning Phoenix in a frenzy. That was all Omen really managed to notice, as he fully enveloped himself around Cypher, his blue slits forming into eyes subconsciously and closing.
Now Omen sat by the kitchen table, pretending to read a book sage had recommended to help him regulate his emotions. Really, he scoffed internally at the suggestion, but he couldn’t exactly deny the soft-spoken healer.
When he heard a loud clatter to his left, he turned and his face, the closest it’d get to one, dropped. Sova was holding himself and Cypher up as the sentinel stared wide-eyed with his mechanical mask. He even laughed. That soft laugh Omen oh so.. loved. Loved?
Omen tore his gaze away from the two as they settled back upright, continuing their conversation rather stiffly as if they didn’t have a typical cheesy scenario from a love story. He stared ahead at the blurring letters in his book, his clawed hands gripping the hard cover to the point he heard a soft tear.
And then he heard his voice.
“Omen?”
He rigidly turned his head to Cypher. Not saying a word, he simply stared at him from his seat. Trying not to think, because if he did; it’d end in him lashing out. Maybe sage was right about this, he really needed to read this book, that was currently falling apart in his hands.
“Are you alright? You’re…” Cypher motioned at the book in Omens hands, “really giving that cover a hard time, my friend.”
Omen simply grunted, and he didn’t miss the way Sova rolled his eyes very subtly behind Cypher by the kitchen counter. All of a sudden he felt almost self conscious for his mannerisms, now realizing how rude it must be to witness a fellow colleague simply grunt at another as a way to communicate like a caveman. But Cypher never seemed to mind, in fact he encouraged him to just communicate or act the way he wanted around him with no shame. Now out of all times all those conversations late at night disappeared from his mind as he caught another glimpse of Sova staring at him with a bored expression, seeming to wait for Cypher to be done speaking to a troubled Omen.
“I’m ok.” he forced out. And that seemed to take Cypher off guard, Omen just didn’t know if it was the fact he for once in their ‘friendship’ confirmed he was alright with verbal communication or that his voice sounded like a boot scraping against concrete, more than usual.
He said no more after that, simply getting up from his seat and stiffly but hurriedly walking out of the lounge. Cypher just stood there and watched the man retreat, his hands catching the end of his coat and subconsciously fidgeting with the hem.
Something was wrong with his dear wraith and he intended to find out what.
–
These moments happened again for a few good times the next couple of days. Everytime Cypher entered a room with Omen inside, the next moment before he knew it, the wraith was gone. Even when Cypher could catch a glimpse of Omen for more than five minutes, the other avoided eye contact with his glowing slits, or focused himself on a book. Usually the poor cover always had claw marks indented in it by the time Omen got up to leave.
Truth be told, it made Cypher overthink far too much about their… relationship. Perhaps he’d done something wrong, a little mishap that caused Omen to back off from him. He just needed a hint, a look, a move, something to catch onto what’s troubling his wraith.
Cypher stood from his chair, managing to look as disheveled as his thoughts. He managed to get his hands halfway to his face to take off his mask for a good nights rest, before he heard footsteps threading along the hallway outside.
They were quiet, but not enough for his ears. Soft, but heavy, urgent, with a purpose. Cypher knew those steps all too well. He hurried to his door, almost too fast it seemed, because by the time his door slid open, omen was right outside, halted like a deer in headlights, his slits constricting like a cat by the light coming from Cypher's room. The sentinel would’ve snickered if his situation weren’t so troubling at the moment.
“Omen.” He tried whispering. But it came out more urgent than he would’ve liked.
The wraith simply stayed put, but seeming to get his wits together after a second or two, he stood up straight and just nodded in recognition. Cypher frowned slightly under his mask at that, not a single word. Wasn’t exactly a surprise, he was used to this, yet it stung more than ever.
“Can we talk?” Cypher spoke hesitantly.
Omen simply stared, but it was evident the cogs in his brain were turning for an honest answer. He simply responded with, “of course.” And then he was walking in Cypher's room after the invitation to proceed.
Cypher motioned for Omen to sit on his bed, something he's done multiple times, with Cypher intertwined with him some late nights. Yet Cypher still noticed hesitance in his step once he did. It slightly stayed silent after that, only the soft pitter patter on the window from droplets of rain. For Omen, it seemed like whatever mighty being out there was testing him; it took great effort for the wraith to not teleport out at the moment. He knew being ignorant and running from Cypher out of everyone was foolish, but the feelings in his gut whenever he was near him was nearly impossible to bear, especially after forgetting who he is, forgetting what nearly every emotion other than fear is.
And what he felt at the moment was that exactly.
Sure, he supposed having an unestablished quiet intimate relationship with the moroccan man wasn’t exactly the best plan to having stable emotions.
Cypher was the base of everything. He stirred something in him no one has before, and that scares him. He’s not sure how to act out, or if to even act out on his feelings. How would Cypher react? Would he push him away just like he was doing to him? Was he a hypocrite for not wanting that yet doing that exact thing to the man? Yes. Yes he was.
He shivered at the thought. Cypher kept staring at the window as Omen spiraled next to him.
“Normally, I’d have pleasant conversations with you,” Cypher started. “But you leave me no choice Omen. I’m…” the sentinel huffed a laugh, “I’m confused. Puzzled.”
Omen looked up at the tight hurtful voice of Cypher’s. He deflated just slightly, “Cypher.”
“Omen.” Cypher approached him, and sat next to him on the bed, staring ahead at his workbench.
“I apologize.” The wraith finally whispered.
“For what?”
“For— avoiding you.” Omen stuttered out, embarrassed.
“So you admit it.” Cypher smiled solemnly under his mask, Omen could almost tell the moment he glanced over to him.
A sudden wave of irritation gathered in his chest at his tone; almost accusatory, and it ticked something in him. He let out a low grunt, and through gritted ‘teeth’ he spoke.
“Yes. But I would rather not be cornered and accused.”
“For something that’s true?” Cypher quipped back.
Omens' smoky body seemed to jolt and twitch every passing second, his hands turning to fists. “You don’t understand anything right now, Cypher.”
“Then why don’t you make me understand?!” Cypher broke and instinctively reached out and rested his hand over Omen’s causing the other to flinch and go still for a second before his slits were constricting and expanding rather aggressively the next second.
He could feel Cypher’s warmth even through his gloved hands over his. His chest felt tight once again, heart beating way too fast.
This feeling again.
Omen wanted to grab Cypher, do everything his mind had always buried back.
Hold him with purpose.
Touch him with purpose.
Kiss him with purpose.
But the fear of rejection was bigger than the desire. He simply stood up stiffly, head low, slits stubborn to stay still, and approached the door.
“Goodnight, Cypher.”
The door slid closed. Leaving Cypher alone in his room. For the first time ever, Omens' departure from his room wasn’t filled with soft giggles and touches, instead full of sorrow.
—