Work Text:
Ena was on her phone more often than not. At least, that’s how it seemed to Akito. Sometimes he entertained himself just by sitting back and watching her reactions to whatever her algorithm offered up, laughing at all the different faces she made, coloured light dancing in her wide eyes. He liked to imagine what she was looking at, wondering what it took these days to make her laugh.
He tried not to meddle, even when she looked particularly angry, or sad, or something got to her so deeply that she threw her phone down and walked out of the room. He knew she had some sort of online presence, and he knew that people online liked to be cruel, but he figured she could deal with that herself. Attention for occasional criticism— it was a trade Ena chose to make. She wouldn’t accept it if she couldn’t handle it. Besides, she’d never put up with Akito acting like he knew better than her in any context, so he left her alone for the most part.
Still, he’d never seen his sister recoil in such pure disgust before, and really, he was more curious than anything.
“Ena?”
“Hmm?” His sister’s head snapped up, the soft smile on her lips not quite matching the annoyance in her eyes.
“What’s up?” Akito nodded toward Ena’s phone, sitting loosely in her hand. “You look like you’re ready to sucker-punch someone.”
“Ugh, it’s nothing,” Ena sighed. “Just this guy I’m talking to. He’s getting flirty, but they all do eventually. He’s fine, it’s just funny to me.”
Akito froze, words dying in his throat.
Ena was people-savvy, and her judgment was normally pretty solid. If she thought someone was chill, they usually were, and she wasn’t the type to sit and let herself get pulled into a problem if she could help it. She was one of the most assertive people he knew. He liked that about her. So, really, he should leave it alone. She’d said it herself. He’s fine . He trusted her. She’d get mad if he tried to tell her what to do. He hadn’t even met the guy. He’s fine. Sure, Ena had said so, but…
“Your face says otherwise.”
Akito stared down at the carpet, mumbling more to his shirt than to his sister, half hoping Ena didn’t even hear him. Unfortunately, he peeked up at her and she was staring at him, phone face-down on her lap, looking slightly murderous.
“What are you talking about?” she scoffed. She forced a laugh— it was too low to be real— and tossed her hair, clearly doing her best to look nonchalant, but as the anxiety in Ena’s eyes deepened, any inkling of leaving her alone fizzled out of Akito’s mind. He had no other choice than to double down. She’d be mad at him. It wasn’t his place. But he had to make sure she was safe.
“Ena. Please.”
Akito looked so upset that Ena forced herself to listen. It was her instinct to be mad at him— already, retorts assembled themselves in her mind, shouting you think you know better than me?! and big talk of you to act like YOU can protect ME and THIS ISN’T YOUR PROBLEM, ASSHOLE , but she took a deep breath, pushed them aside, focused on the way Akito was chewing on his lower lip, told herself to hear him out. She sighed. She didn’t need to hear him out. She knew what he’d say. She’d been pretending she didn’t understand, and maybe she wasn’t that smart, but she had basic pattern recognition.
It had started like this before. They’d flirt with her, complimenting her endlessly, not-so-subtly asking for more and more selfies, selfies she was happy to provide because then they complimented her more , swooning over the curve of her bottom lip and her dark lashes that made her eyes seem so much bigger. And her body. They made her feel so good until they started scaring her, dropping unsettling comments about their sex lives and how unhappy they were, how suicidal or depressed or whatever else, how she was their light. They loved her, they let her know that more often than anything else, and by then, they’d started demanding, but by then she’d grown to love them too.
But love and fear had always been sort of the same to her anyway. It was easy to convince herself everything was normal, and usually, that’s what she did. That’s what she was doing now. It was working fine. It always worked fine. Until it didn’t.
She’d deal with that when it came.
She didn’t want to think about the implications of the fact that she knew it would come, and evidently, so did Akito.
She shrugged in her brother’s general direction. “It’s whatever. He’s still nice.” She drew in a shallow, shaky breath. “For now.”
“Why don’t you just..?” Akito shook his head. “Ena, it’s… you know this isn’t gonna end well. It’s like… I mean…”
Ena nodded, the air thick with what Akito hadn’t said. “It’s like that American guy,” she affirmed softly. “Raymond.” Her head spun as she exhaled. She hadn’t exactly admitted it to herself yet. If she could pretend she didn’t know… if she could act surprised when everything went badly… well. If she couldn’t have known, she couldn’t have walked into it. Couldn’t have let it happen. She’d stay innocent, and innocent was so, so much more preferable than the alternative.
“Him,” Akito murmured. “Don’t you remember what he did to you?”
Ena did remember. She remembered better than she’d like to.
“I guess,” she said. “I guess I just… I just wish it could be different.”
“But it’s not different.” Akito leaned closer to Ena, brushing his fingers over the back of her phone, but she clung to it tighter, burying the screen in her skirt. “Sorry. But…”
“I know it’s not gonna be different,” Ena whispered, “but… I guess… I’m doing it anyway.” She looked up at Akito, wordlessly shaking her head, incomprehensibly gesturing with her free hand. “I’m doing it anyway.” Her heart pounded with dread. She ignored it. “I just don’t care!” Akito visibly swallowed, distress clear in his face. She ignored it. “I’m… I’m doing it anyway!” Ena felt a bit like she was in a dream. Her cheeks burned, fear sticky and hot on her skin. Her phone chimed in her hand. The sound cut through her head. She winced and ignored it.
Akito reached for Ena, unsure whether to grab her hand or her knee. He settled for neither, bringing his hand back to his chest. “Can you please think about this?”
A wide grin opened up across Ena’s face and she shook her head, pulling away from him, rocking back and forth just a little bit. Akito pulled back further, air hissing through his teeth as he stared at her, a sick sort of foreboding settling in his stomach.
“Ena,” he breathed. His sister only shook her head again, giggling now like she didn’t have a single care in the world.
“It doesn’t matter, Akito,” Ena shrugged, laughter breaking through her words. “I know it’ll happen! I’m okay with that!” She lunged for him and he flinched back, her eyes bright with dark red fire. “I’m basically asking for it!”
“Ena. What?” Frantically, Akito’s gaze zigzagged from Ena’s eyes to her teeth to her chest to her collarbones. “There’s… there’s nothing…”
She wasn’t hearing him, he could see it. He had to do something to get it to click. He didn’t get it. She knew what she was walking into. There was no way she couldn’t care. There was no way she could treat it like a joke.
That guy had destroyed her. And she was walking right up to someone like him as if she hadn’t learned anything?
“Isn’t it silly?” Ena laughed. “Isn’t it obvious? It doesn’t matter! So I’m gonna get groomed again!” She met Akito’s eyes as if challenging him to deny it, something stinging her deep beneath her ribs as he recoiled. She shook it off, lightning lashing within her. She ignored it.
“Ena!” Akito barked, his heart sort of breaking as Ena winced away. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Ena covered her mouth with her hands, hiding her pink cheeks behind her slim fingers, but hitched, high giggles broke through her silence. Akito glared at her. She was testing him, she had to be; he’d moved on from being angry at whoever was making his sister feel this way to Ena herself. He bared his teeth at her, spitting indistinct syllables, frenzied with stress and indignance. “I don’t think this is fucking funny! I don’t think it’s a joke!”
Ena stared at him with empty eyes, both siblings frozen, shock crackling between them.
“I just need you to know,” Akito hissed, burning with each breath he took, “that I don’t think this is silly at all.”
Ena blinked at him. Her mouth hung open. Her breath fluttered in and out more quickly than he’d assumed was possible. He met her eyes. She blinked at him again.
“Okay.”
Her voice was tiny, hollow. Terrified.
“He’s…” Ena’s phone sat in her upturned palm. “He’s being nice to me now.”
Akito’s shoulders slumped as Ena’s eyes filled with tears. He gazed at her, pressing his lips together, his heartbeat far too loud in his head. He knew he’d fucked up.
“Okay,” Akito said.
Ena looked back to the floor.
“I’m sorry.”
Ena didn’t even react to the sound. Slowly, Akito turned around and crept out of the living room.
Running from his problems. What else was new? He glanced at Ena over his shoulder. She hadn’t moved.
It was eerily quiet downstairs. Wiping her eyes, Ena sank back into the chair and reached for her phone, unlocking it with shaking hands.
roboticayo > Awww, is it bedtime? I’m sure your little footies hurt, huh cutie?
Ena swallowed back her shame and disgust, taking the deepest breath she could manage, forcing herself to reply the way she knew he expected of her.
Asking for it…
enanan < Yeah, bedtime, hehe! I’ll send you some pictures in just a moment~
It would be fine. He wasn’t online. He was probably at work still. She knew he had a grueling day job. She’d have time, time to pull herself together and put a bit of concealer on, time to change into a nicer outfit, time to—
He’s being nice to me now.
roboticayo > Can’t wait, hehe! You know what I like so well 💗
Her phone slipped between her fingers to the floor as Ena buried her face in her hands and sobbed, as quietly as she could manage. She didn’t want to make Akito angrier. He’d seen, now, that she understood what she was doing. He’d seen how stupid she was, seen that she had no self-control and that it was her fault. He’d seen that she didn’t deserve his pity or anyone’s help. She was just as bad as anyone who’d hurt her. She cried, knowing there was no hiding from it now. She cried knowing there was nobody to blame but herself.
From the carpet, just a couple centimetres away from her little footies , Ena’s phone buzzed again. She went stiff as she felt it vibrate through the floor, digging her nails into her skin, the possibility of upsetting her brother no longer enough to stop her from screaming in agony.