Chapter Text
──────────────────────────────────────────
Natsume wishes nothing for Tsumugi but love. It’s true. There’s no violent intent or hatred behind his wish. He’s entirely innocent when it comes to his dreams for the man and there’s nothing that can stop it from coming true.
Except maybe himself of course.
──────────────────────────────────────────
Natsume first wishes for Tsumugi to stop worrying constantly.
The way the blue-haired man’s eyes move side to side in a frantic scare just never seems to cease. Natsume even takes note of the way he’ll stop himself right before he bites another nail off, in realization of what he's doing. That’s right, even idols like him couldn’t afford to ruin his newly manicured nails before a concert. It seems like such a small detail, but that’s exactly what ticks Tsumugi off.
His mind just never stops. Constantly turned on and automatically rolling out concerns and cautions even at the cost of his sleep cycle. Even the change in season, couldn’t stop his constant mumbling at the thought of what might happen in the future.
Tsumugi’s scared. It's as simple as that. Scared of the future. Scared of disappointing his unitmates. Scared of losing everything all at once. Scared of even his own voice.
Nothing can calm him down. The most anticipated time of the year, (also known as Natsume’s favorite season) Spring, just seems to do nothing in helping the man breathe a little. As said before, his mind is constantly making him spout nonsense as he mumbles away, without a single drop of awareness for the people around him.
“What if the backtrack fails to load in? What if the drummer I contacted yesterday can’t make it? What if people don’t like the venue I chose? It’s early spring after all! No one expects to see so many cherry blossoms in bloom, nonetheless bluebirds flying around! Speaking of bluebirds, this will be my first time singing my solo… what if people don’t like my voice? Maybe I should just remove it from the lineup-”
“Tsumugi. Tsumugi…Tsumugiiii….TSUMUGI…TSUMUGI AOBA!”
The way he was startled wasn’t new to Natsume. Apparently even after all the times Natsume ‘accidentally’ scared Tsumugi, whether by throwing books and curses his way, nothing seemed to build any tolerance for his demeanor. Tsumugi couldn’t get used to the way everything scared him, and Natsume simply couldn’t wish for that to go away.
“Stop worrying over the small details. You’ve worked your voice hard for this moment. Doesn’t matter if you don’t have a knack for singing, I’m sure your hardwork will make up for it.” Natsume says, with the sound of a cough right as he finishes.
“Really? Are you sure no one will notice?”
“Really, it’s true. After all, when have I ever lied?”
“Oh! There was that one time when you lied about stalking Rei after scho-”
Natsume knows he shouldn’t harm a fellow idol right before they’re about to perform, but the heart pin he rips from his suit, just seems to have accidentally slipped from his hand and thrown right into Tsumugi’s face, hitting his delicate glasses.
Yet it seemed to have an opposite effect than what Natsume was initially hoping for it to do.
Call it an accident or an act of violence, that still doesn’t change the fact that all Tsumugi could do in response was just laugh it off. Just like all the other times in which Natsume insulted or attacked him, Tsumugi seemed to just never take offense.
And it did nothing but fuel Natsume’s feelings even more.
If anything, to be honest, he can’t help but think he’s on the losing side whenever something like this happens. The little giggle Tsumugi lets out when he picks up the heart pin on the floor, didn’t help either. It’s as if the two’s roles were switched, and suddenly now Natsume was the one who couldn’t stop worrying.
How come Tsumugi always laughed everything off, even at his own expense? If I could do nothing to evoke more than one reaction out of him, then am I really any different from a stranger at this point? Do other idols too, take advantage of Tsumugi’s kindness and never apologize? Did I, Natsume Sakasaki, who had known him from young, not matter to Tsumugi?
Yet he couldn’t help but picture a blonde man in his mind. The same one who was able to charm Tsumugi, only to break his heart. Was Natsume not as handsome as him or something? That bastard was able to make Natsume’s very own Tsumugi cry. How come Natsume was the one to find Tsumugi sulking over his loss of Eichi, yet even he would not shed a single tear whenever Natsume insulted him? Was he just not as perfect, talented, and great as Eichi? Did his words not matter as much as Eichi’s?
Or was he just not Tsumugi’s type?
Somewhere in the back of Natsume’s mind could not help but feel as if he was defeated by another one of Eichi’s schemes again.
“Heh. Natsume, you know well that you shouldn’t ruin your outfit right before a concert, yet you still always have a knack for surprises, don't you?”
Tsumugi held the pin up high above his head, as if it were a prize he just won from a claw machine. The way his eyes now shone with delight replaced his frantic eyes before, further making Natsume see the greater gap in mutual feelings between the two.
“Look Natsume! The way this pin reflects the sunlight is so pretty! I knew hiring those seamstresses was the right choice!”
“Mhm.”
“And with the colorful lights on stage, I’m sure this heart pin will shine out even more! If only you didn’t have to forcefully rip it off Natsume!”
“Yeah…”
“You must hurry then! It’d be such a waste to not let the audience see you wear this. Here, do you think I could call the seamstress over to sew it back on you? Wait, no. She might be too busy. Maybe I could sew it back on! Or maybe not, I don’t really have the talent for it..oh! Do you think I could call Kuro ove-”
Something about Natsume’s pride could not let this go on for any longer. The moment Tsumugi lowered his hand, allowing himself to take his phone out of pocket, Natsume took the chance and snatched the heart pin straight from his hand.
“Huh- Natsume what are you doing-?”
“I hereby curse this stupid heart pin so that whenever you look at it, it’ll make you have recurring nightmares of me!”
And with a random kiss to the heart pin (mainly because Natsume didn’t have his usual equipment to curse any item so he had to use other means) he once again gave it back at Tsumugi, but more gently this time, so as to not hurt him, and pinned it to his suit instead.
“Here, hopefully this stupid little pendant will help you! Let the nightmares it brings you of me replace your annoying cries!” The voice crack Natsume lets out near the end of his curse did nothing but make an even further embarrassment of him.
By now, Natsume could tell his blood was boiling. His face was likely almost just as red as his hair. Was it the jealousy he felt out of losing to Eichi, or was it because Tsumugi couldn’t care less about him? Either way, it didn’t matter since he knew the status of their relationship would likely never change in the near future.
“Oh my Natsume,” Tsumugi whispers while hovering his hands over the heart pin, right over the spot in which the magic-man just kissed, “How could I ever be plagued with scary nightmares if you're in them? It’s more of a blessing than a curse truly!”
The way his voice grew softer and fonder as he stared more at the pin did nothing but wonders for Natsume’s heart. His chest was about to explode from how hot he was feeling right now.
What is wrong with him? Is his head filled with nothing but air? Or was he really just this dense?
“Ugh! Forget it, I’m going to find Sora right now.”
“Wait Natsume! Where are you going? Do you not want your pin back?”
As the magician walks away he can’t bear to look back at Tsumugi’s reaction. This whole mess he got himself into was clearly never going to go anywhere. At this point, Natsume could only hope that instead of waiting for something more, he should just treasure whatever he has with Tsumugi now.
With a flick of a wrist to shoo away the man behind him, Natsume shouts, “Don’t want it! Keep it for yourself. Who knows, maybe I cursed it to give you good luck for the performance today.”
Natsume refuses to look back, so he misses the look on Tsumugi’s face when he replies back. Doesn’t matter if his curiosity is bubbling to the top right now, for he knows that if he turns and sees one of Tsumugi’s iconic smiles again, he might just explode.
“Heh. Then I’ll make sure to wish you good luck too Natsume!”
“Yeah, yeah. I wish you luck too.”
And maybe, just maybe, he also wishes him love.