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The day Shinsou met Monoma, he thought he was awfully strange. Monoma was very loud and never once shut his mouth. He went on and on about the ‘inferior class’ but managed to keep a strategic composure through his petty words and quickly came up with a plan to defeat their opposing team.
Monoma was unfortunately a mix of aggravating and intelligent. At the same time, Shinsou never fought the urge to complain. Monoma treated him as an equal, and it was fairly obvious that he was interested in him. Shinsou didn’t come to U.A to complain about someone’s personality, he couldn’t care less.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t exhausting being around Monoma. When he made the assumption that they had a close enough bond to claim they’re alike, it annoyed Shinsou. Yet, Monoma’s words about the two being cursed hit the nail on the head. Monoma managed to see right through him because he was right, they were one in the same, something he was not thrilled about.
Monoma’s high standards made Shinsou nervous. He had entrusted him to be the key role in their mission, and when he failed, guilt washed over his heart, just as it did back at the Sports Festival. He knew in his mind that their team, and Monoma, wouldn't be mad, but his insecure heart tried to convince him otherwise.
So, when Monoma spared him just enough time to get away with Twin Impact, Shinsou considered him amazing moving forward. He made sure to thank him afterwards when the round was over, but Monoma waved him off. Shinsou couldn't force him to take the credit if he wanted to.
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Shinsou never saw Monoma again after that, at least, not until 2 weeks later. Monoma had ‘accidently’ stumbled across Shinsou on campus while he was training. Shinsou thinks it was an excuse to talk to him about his Hero Course transfer. He almost laughed at how accurate he had been because it was the first thing that came out of Monoma’s mouth after offering him a drink.
Shinsou teased him a bit about what he would do if he transferred to Class A and not B, which left a sour look on Monoma’s face. It surprised Shinsou as well when he blurted out that teasing remark, embarrassed for acting like they were friends instead of peers. Shinsou didn’t realize how flustered he was about it until Monoma left.
As simple as that interaction was, Shinsou missed it the second it was gone. Shinsou was on good terms with his General Studies classmates, some of them he considered close, but he felt awfully yearnful around Monoma. He thinks it's because Monoma always makes him do the talking since, he wants to hear what he has to say, while his other friends speak to him normally. They talk, he talks, they talk back, repeat.
Monoma also has this charm to him. He’s as talkative as everyone else, but something feels different when it comes to him. He’s annoying, but he’s gentle underneath. He considers him and allows the silence to fall between them when there’s nothing to talk about anymore. He’s also actively trying to get to know Shinsou.
But there was only enough room for quick greetings and small talk whenever they bumped into each other. It was like their relationship was destined to be a side dish, something unimportant and only there to provide a needed connection. A relationship is a relationship, but Shinsou wanted something closer.
He was curious about Monoma because he was so deprived of him. He wanted to hear everything Monoma had to say about himself since he only ever let Shinsou speak. He wanted to continue getting on his nerves like friends do and understand what the Hero Course was like so he can be prepared for the future.
If Monoma really went through the same things he did, if he really felt the same way, Shinsou wanted to continue having this connection. To finally have your person, that’s what Shinsou desired. The whole thing was humiliating for Shinsou since it showed that his whole speech about not wanting friends was for nothing.
The worst part was that he did mean everything he said. He really did come to U.A for an education. The only reason he was such good friends with the General Studies department was because none of them were arrogant. He admired how accepting they were of the fact that they weren’t ‘hero student’ material.
And when they announced him as the star of General Studies, his world brightened up. It was the hero students he didn’t want to be friends with. He was resentful, and he hated it. He hated it because it was his heart that wouldn’t open up.
He knew that no one in the hero department looked down upon people with quirks like his. He knew that they treated others with kindness and welcomed them with open arms. He had admitted himself that they were impressive, because they really were. Respecting others is one thing but being friends with someone as privileged as they were was a challenge for Shinsou. Monoma, as corny as it sounded, was a wakeup call.
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Shinsou needed help more than anything. He wanted to begin seeing his future classmates in a better light and that started with Monoma. The only issue was that Monoma was hard to find alone. Monoma was always somewhere public. When he really thought about it, he’s never seen Monoma by himself.
Which is why it was always Monoma that came to Shinsou first. It was like his brain was wired to know where everyone he’s ever talked to was located. It was weird at first, but Shinsou quickly started appreciating it whenever he needed someone to study with or something like that because Monoma would always magically appear.
Shinsou’s other issue was that he didn’t know whether they were actually friends or not. He didn’t exactly understand the concept of friendship, the only way he knew he was friends with someone was when they said it first. To Shinsou, they were more like training buddies than they were friends.
The next time he saw Monoma, he made sure to ask. Monoma thought it was a silly question, but he reassured him, nonetheless. If Monoma considered what they had a friendship, then Shinsou would too, but Shinsou wasn’t exactly sure how to form a closer bond with Monoma since he was always preoccupied.
Understanding someone on a deeper level was difficult. When he found out Monoma liked comics, he was more than willing to buy him something from the comic bookstore across from one of his jobs. This would be a token of their friendship, and depending on Monoma’s reaction, Shinsou may or may not apply this strategy when making friends with the other Hero Course students.
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Shinsou’s experiment didn’t last very long. Monoma took notice of his over-the-top behavior and asked him about it, to which he spent 5 minutes laughing about when he found out the truth. In the end, Monoma ended up having to teach Shinsou that there is no specific standard he had to follow and to just go with the flow, whatever that meant.
Monoma gave Shinsou his number afterwards and arranged a day where he could teach him the basics on how to socialize with others. Just like it had done a few weeks ago, Shinsou’s face grew warm the moment Monoma left. Shinsou never got anyone’s phone number before, let alone hand one out himself.
Monoma was the first non-family member in his contacts. Not only that, but Shinsou didn’t even get a chance to ask; Monoma had willingly given it to him. Shinsou was grateful for his quick thinking because they were now able to communicate a lot longer than the basic 2-minute conversations from before.
Shinsou learned a lot about Monoma, and he even slipped in a few interesting facts about himself. He made sure to text Monoma often so it didn’t look like he was disinterested in their friendship. He also used this as a way to schedule ‘dates’ together, which they started doing more often.
It was fun at first—being able to talk to Monoma this way. They’d play video games together, read together, study together, etc. He was able to do so many things he could have never imagined himself doing before. Monoma was crazy, but he was amazing. Shinsou loved him like no other.
He enjoyed being Monoma’s friend. He memorized the faces around them whenever they walked inside the Class 1-B dorms. Shinsou also tried to memorize some of the other Hero Course students that weren’t in 1-B. While he didn’t exactly consider any of them friends just yet, he grouped himself with some of them anyway. Now that they had their own circles, their time together was cut short.
The reason behind this was simple: Monoma is Shinsou’s best friend, but he’s not Monoma’s. Shinsou knew what he was getting into the moment he became friends with Monoma. They were each other’s person, but that didn’t mean they had to be around each other 24/7. Monoma had his own group of friends, and technically Shinsou did too.
Close friends can still be close, even when apart, because by definition the term is not literal. Monoma is all over the place, and since Shinsou isn’t exactly ‘special’ to him, he doesn’t have to fit him into his busy schedule. Shinsou worked two 9/5 jobs, and his main goal continues to be his education. He has a social life now and a best friend, there’s nothing else he needs in order to graduate satisfied.
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That is, until he got greedy. Why does Monoma keep ignoring his calls? Why can’t he come over tonight? Why this, why that. Shinsou, as happy as he was, is upset about the fact that he can’t spend as much time as he used to with Monoma anymore. They were supposed to be best friends, and although he himself said best friends don’t always have to be close, Monoma could have at least tried to put in some effort.
Long distance couples work it out better than they do. Shinsou knows a couple from downtown who manage to spend a maximum of 5 hours together regardless of their tight schedules. He wasn't sure why Monoma couldn’t do the same with him as best friends. A customer’s tantrum had to snap him back into reality because honestly he was being dramatic.
Shinsou wanted to label what he was feeling as jealousy because he was well aware that was a thing people who normally don’t have friends experience, but he didn’t exactly hate it when Monoma made time for someone else and not him. They could never replace Shinsou, so there was nothing to worry about.
Monoma finally called him back one day and arranged a date for tomorrow—friend date, Shinsou should clarify. Monoma declined bicycling to their destination immediately after Shinsou offered it, and although okay with this arrangement, Shinsou had to ask why. Just like Monoma had done a few months prior, Shinsou laughed for a good 5 minutes after Monoma explained his reasoning.
Neito Monoma does not know how to ride a bike. Shinsou didn’t feel like using his bike as practice, so he stole Kaibara’s and attempted to teach his best friend how to ride one. Monoma was terrible, to say the least. Shinsou vaguely remembers Monoma getting angry at the non-present Kaibara for owning a bike that dragged across the ground.
Monoma’s laughter was the most vivid thing Shinsou could remember from that day because it sounded so beautiful. Oh, that and the moment he realized he was in love with his best friend. It wasn’t anything special, in fact, it was laughing with Monoma that brought him to that conclusion.
It started with Monoma’s laughter—which was like music to Shinsou’s ears—then it escalated to observing features he’s never seen before whenever he laughed. It only took Shinsou two factors for him to feel like everything was moving in slow motion. In that short amount of time, he put two and two together and before he knew it, that familiar warmth on his cheeks welcomed him with open arms.
It was a lot to process at first. Shinsou has never fallen in love with anybody before, let alone have crushes. A part of him wanted to curse Monoma, and that pretty face of his, but now he was at the stage where any thought of Monoma left him falling to his knees in agony. Shinsou wished he meant it when he tried to convince himself that everything was okay. In reality, his face was still red from earlier.
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Hitoshi Shinsou doesn’t get flustered, or at least he hides it well. But Monoma had him wrapped around his fingers. Falling in love with Monoma is not what’s making him feel so embarrassed, it’s the fact that he had been craving his best friend this entire time and he didn’t even know it. 4 months of longing, which was frankly humiliating.
Talking to Monoma became a minor problem. Shinsou managed to keep a calm composure, but he was very awkward. Sometimes, he mixed up his words, but it wasn’t so obvious to the point it was suspicious. He learned to pick up Monoma’s footstep pattern, predicted where he was, and watched over him whenever he was near.
Shinsou was well aware that he wasn’t special to Monoma. He was his friend, and that was it. It was impossible getting Monoma to see him as a best friend, or more. It made him feel mundane, especially since they spent so little time together. But when he really thought about it, he’d rather be something than nothing at all.
Monoma is amazing. He’s kind, he’s funny, he has a captivating laugh, the way he smiles sends Shinsou butterflies (unfortunately), a pretty face, and is the most intelligent person Shinsou ever met. He’s wow, simply wow. He’s never been so infatuated with anyone in his life. He makes Shinsou get lost in the clouds.
To be able to feel this way was a privilege. To be able to call himself Monoma’s friend made Shinsou want to kick his feet in the air. The chances of Monoma liking him back are low, and although it hurt him at first, something about it makes him feel so good. It gives Shinsou a rush falling in love with someone as beautiful as Monoma.
This new perspective opened up so many opportunities that he couldn’t dream of having back when he only saw Monoma as a friend. He felt closer to him in a way, if that made sense. Shinsou loved everything about this, he loved humiliating himself, he loved being stupid with love. He loved Monoma most, he loved him so much. He wanted to study Monoma, he wanted to look deep inside his mind and decipher every cell in his body.
He was curious about his best friend; was he interested in this, was he interested in that, could he do this and that. He wanted to lose against Monoma on the days they trained together, he wanted to win and be told how amazing he was. Being in love with Monoma brought Shinsou ecstasy and he wouldn't want it any other way.
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Monoma found Shinsou intriguing. Shinsou pretended that he didn’t care about what others had to say about him, but his eyes glowed whenever he was given a compliment or simply told ‘thank you.’ As dismissive as he tried to be, Monoma figured him out rather quickly and understood that Shinsou liked the praise because it made him feel honored.
Monoma liked how humble Shinsou was. For example, when he apologized to him for failing to be a good partner during their first Joint Training together. It was a rather silly thing to apologize for, but his sincerity brought a smile to Monoma’s face regardless of the fact. Shinsou was a better person than Monoma could ever dream to be, which he found incredibly admirable.
One day, he heard rumors of Shinsou training alone in the forest that was located on campus. As lonely as it sounded, it gave Monoma a rush of excitement. If the rumors were true, he’d be able to catch Shinsou in the act and bring up his Hero Course transfer casually. If Monoma was lucky, he’d make a good impression on Shinsou and convince him to be his friend.
He found it endearing how dedicated Shinsou was towards his goal of becoming a hero, it was something he wanted to hear more about. Monoma discovered the rumors were true that same day. It was sad to see Shinsou training all by himself with no one to work with, so being the good person he was, Monoma stepped in and reintroduced himself.
They became friends not long after. As odd as he was, Monoma liked how loyal Shinsou was to his goal of becoming a hero. He respected him for that, which made him appreciative of the fact that they were friends. He needed someone as composed as Shinsou in his tacky life. It’s not like he was a bad person or anything, but Monoma had his moments, compared to Shinsou who appeared perfect.
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There were plenty of times Shinsou wasn’t his usual respective self. In fact, there were a lot of moments since he was someone who spoke his mind a lot. But unlike Monoma, Shinsou didn’t push his limits. Deep down, he had a caring heart and enjoyed having a sarcastic personality at the same time. Shinsou was definitely an asshole, there was no doubt about that. Monoma wished he was as laid back as he was, but he couldn’t help his loudmouth.
His personality worked well with Shinsou’s own personality. Although they were complete opposites, they were also complementary, which was funny to Monoma giving that their hair colors were literally complementary colors. They were like Yin and Yang; there was no Shinsou without Monoma, and there was no Monoma without Shinsou.
Monoma found that very interesting. He’s never met someone so perfect for him. Monoma had his fair share of friends. He was a calm man when Class 1-A wasn’t around, which had surprised everyone since the contrast from crazy to normal made them feel uneasy. He had friends from his childhood years as well.
Monoma loved his classmates and his friends dearly. Different personalities including how long they've known each other meant different connections, such as him and Kendo. They met when they were 12, although technically they met when they were 7, but they didn’t know that at the time. Kendo was bold, confident, and she was wise.
Her charisma naturally made Monoma fall in love with her. She was the only one who didn’t treat him differently when informed that his mother was dying from cancer. Unlike Monoma’s other friends, they became close simply because they had the same interests and found each other cool.
As for Kendo, they became friends because of their emotional connection. You could tell from a mile away that they had something no one could replace because of the way they looked at each other. While it sounds like romance, Kendo never actually fell for Monoma. In fact, when she learned about his feelings at age 14, she felt sick to her stomach.
Not because she was disgusted, but because it was a common trope that happened to her. She was afraid of ruining another friendship with someone she loved, but Monoma was different. He loved Kendo because they were exactly just that: friends. He didn’t want to be anything more. As scary as this day was, it made them closer.
Which is exactly why Monoma was so interested in Shinsou. This type of parallel connection was new compared to all the other connections he had with different friends. He didn’t have a deep bond with him the way he had one with Kendo, he didn’t have a bond with him the way he had with his other friends who he befriended because of shared interests, but he had a bond with him because they were congruent.
Monoma didn’t know what the name for this kind of relationship was, but he loved it. It was almost brotherly like, if he thought hard enough. He didn’t need to spend so much time with Shinsou to know that what they had was irreplaceable. He didn’t have to make it stronger because it was already strong from the beginning.
For example, when Monoma told Shinsou he was interested in comics, the following day he gifted him a comic Monoma had been wanting for quite some time now. When Monoma realized he did this because he wanted to learn how to be a good friend, he thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
So he helped Shinsou, he showed him what true friendship meant, and in return, Shinsou showed him his true colors. Monoma enjoyed studying together because no one else was as interested in doing so like Shinsou, and that was because he was a very studious guy. Monoma also enjoyed the little things, like when they read each other’s mind.
They got on each other’s nerves as well. Monoma taught Shinsou how to break into the Class 1-A dorms, he taught him how to play cards, he learned how to bike because of Shinsou, and they were perfect for each other when they needed a training partner. The best part about all these things was that they did it with such little time together.
It was just like Monoma had predicted, their relationship was strong, regardless of the fact that they had busy lives. He knew it was working the moment Shinsou started reaching out first, or when he spotted Shinsou wherever he went. The compliments Monoma received were the biggest surprise of all, and it made him happy knowing Shinsou was comfortable enough to be vulnerable around him.
There was always a flush in Shinsou’s cheeks when he was near. Monoma found that lovely because it showed how excited his usually collected friend got around him. After all, Shinsou did tell him that he’s never met anyone like him before, their relationship must mean a lot to him if that were the case.
There was always a look of fondness in Shinsou’s eyes when they were doing literally anything together, whether that be talking or running errands at the last minute. Monoma didn’t know where that look came from, and he also didn’t know why Shinsou had become such a starebear, but he appreciated it.
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The war had broken Monoma. He’s dreamt of Bakugo before, at least once or twice. In both of those dreams he defeated him in something and watched as Bakugo fell to his knees in agony and called himself a loser—which he was. But not like this, not a nightmare, not of his pale face and the dead look in his eyes.
He wanted to curse Bakugo, curse him for giving him a heart attack. But he especially wanted to kill him for bringing back memories of his mother on her deathbed. He’s never been so angry with someone in his life while at the same time relieved that they’re okay. He made sure to go easy on him from then on.
Monoma was okay, at least in better shape than everyone else. He went back to his usual boastful attitude while everyone else needed time to heal both physically and mentally. Monoma didn’t want to do all that because that meant being alone, and if there was anything he hated most in the world, it was being alone with his thoughts.
It used to be because it reminded him of the times his classmates left him out of most things when he was younger. He moved on when he realized he didn’t own anybody and that he should be able to live how he wanted to. He didn’t spend all of his childhood alone anyway; he was looked down on but that was it. He was still liked.
Whenever Monoma was alone with his thoughts, his mind would replay the moments he’d spent with his mother. Monoma’s biggest regret was not spending enough time with her when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer when he was 8. He was mad, mad at her, mad at himself, mad at the world.
He didn’t like that this was the reason his classmates got soft on him, he didn’t like that his teachers and family didn’t fully punish him when he did something wrong, he didn’t like that they thought he needed to see a therapist even though he was okay as well as his mommy. It took Monoma 7 years for him to accept her fate and talk to her.
He was given 5 months to make up for lost time until her death just a week before his U.A acceptance letter came in the mail. She was the one who put the idea in his head when he was 7. He remembers her pale face and the way her hand fell from his palm the moment her time was up. He remembers the dead look in her eyes the day before her actual death while he read her a book.
Monoma never got therapy. He convinced his family that he was okay and that all he needed was to be around his friends and loved ones. Technically, he wasn’t lying, his friends really did make him forget about her death. But he was running away, he wasn’t allowing himself to be vulnerable. And ultimately, that led to his fear of being alone because the second he was, reality caught up to him.
He made it work; he was able to forget about it and avoid as much time alone as possible. He was all over the place and never took a break. Then the war happened, and his grudge against Bakugo grew stronger than ever before. Monoma wasn’t okay at all, even when he was with his friends. He was able to act like he was only because it was a natural instinct.
Deep down, he was on the verge of exploding. He received a statue for his accomplishments and while it meant so much to him, he wished his heart felt something when he heard the news or at least skipped a beat whenever he walked past it. He wished he could get a rile off making fun of the now 2-A kids and continue their friendly rivalry.
And he wished he could wipe away that look of fondness Shinsou continues to have around him because he is a terrible person who doesn’t deserve the praise he gets. He is selfish and denied the care his family offered because he was too self-righteous for something as stupid as therapy. Now, when he needs it most, he’s too afraid to speak up.
Shinsou has always been so observant, so it pisses him off when he starts asking if everything is alright, because it shows he knows him too well. He says he recalls Monoma being on the front-lines so if he needs to tell him something he’ll listen. Monoma has to wave him off consistently because he doesn’t want the one person in the world that thinks he’s perfect to realize he’s not.
Monoma is full of dark secrets and wishes he was capable of vulnerability the way Shinsou was. Shinsou yelled to everyone in the Sports Festival that he hates the privileged and that it isn’t easy for him to reach his goal. He told everyone at Joint Training that he isn’t looking for friends but he ends up finding one in almost everyone anyway.
He admits his mistakes and apologizes. He regrets using his quirk for evil on his teammates despite there being no rule against it. As annoyed as he was at Bakugo when they first met, he can admit he has good looks. He was willing to see the hero course students in a better light if it meant improving his self-esteem.
He works day and night for a family he talks about dearly and a mother who risked everything for her children. Shinsou is hardworking and loyal to his goals, he helps old ladies cross the street, feeds stray cats despite being allergic, and donates the money he makes to charities that help children with quirks like his.
Monoma, on the other hand, has a hard time admitting his mistakes. Instead, he expresses how sorry he is by buying gifts or doing a favor. He is the first to apologize but is unable to do it vocally. He can only do so if his mistakes were major, like when he got ahead of himself back at Joint Training and caused their team to lose.
Monoma doesn’t donate to charity because it never crossed his mind, at least not until Shinsou started doing it. Monoma continues to be a nuisance and has yet to mature. He is able to admit that 2-A are dazzling and that a lot of them are actually very skillful, but he’s not sure if it’s enough.
He doesn’t ask for help when he’s down mentally because he’s afraid of letting everything out all at once. He’s afraid of crying in front of everyone he’s grown to know and love. He’s afraid that he’ll make zero sense and that they’ll tell him that he did this to himself because he didn’t reach out when it first began. It’s all his fault, from his mother’s death to his mental state, he’s the one to blame.
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Monoma continued to blame himself for everything that happened to him exactly 1 month after they became second years. His classmates were aware that something was wrong, but Monoma had already disregarded their concerns multiple times, so they stopped trying. If things were to get dangerous, they’d step in again.
Monoma’s guilt eats him up alive. He is aware that everyone is looking out for him and while he appreciates their concerns, he isn’t ready to come face to face with his reality. Shinsou doesn’t know whether or not to reach out one more time or to leave it alone. He’s come far with the idea of friendship, and yet out of everyone he’s befriended he still hasn’t reached his goal.
That goal is to be someone Monoma can come to when he’s upset. He wants to let him know he’s there for him and that no matter what he always will be. Friendship was one of the hardest things Shinsou’s ever learned. He wants to repay Monoma’s kindness and show that he never once stopped appreciating him.
Monoma doesn’t have a best friend. Shinsou used to think it was Kendo but their relationship goes beyond friendship so there was that. If Monoma had a best friend, someone he could talk to, someone he could be vulnerable around, then he could save him. Shinsou had originally planned on staying casual but Monoma needed someone and he wasn’t going to wait for an opportunity to strike.
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Monoma recalls 2 things that day. The first thing was the storm that made Shinsou miss a week of school. Monoma felt responsible for his condition so he spent that same week apologizing to Shinsou and making up for it. Shinsou used this day as an excuse for the future whenever he wanted to get out of something—it never worked.
The second thing he recalls is falling in love with Shinsou. If there was one thing he always admired about Shinsou, it was his gentle nature. His ability to speak quietly when something was wrong and say things that made his heart flutter when it came to reassuring Monoma was outstanding.
Shinsou made it clear that he had his back all the time. He understood his boundaries and never crossed them. But he also knew Monoma too well, how stubborn he was and how sometimes he needed to smack some sense into him. Yet today, he needed patience. He needed someone to listen to him and provide him comfort.
Monoma wasn’t a fortune teller and can’t predict the weather. He was usually prepared for any scenario, but he had been forgetting things a lot more recently. This was another reason why he wanted to get help. Although the storm outside eased his mind, waiting for it to end was going to be a mood killer.
If he walked out now, he’d get soaked. Monoma was willing to do that but that would mean being alone with his thoughts in the shower while rinsing off that dirty water. He could always ask a friend but at the same time he wasn’t in the mood to have a conversation. And would it kill Vlad to stop assigning so much homework.
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Monoma swore he had a heart attack the second he heard Shinsou’s voice calling after him. He assumed he had already left the building because Shinsou was usually the first to leave so that he could avoid the stampede in the hallways. He almost laughed at the idea of his friend drowning in a hoard of people but froze up when Shinsou said he wanted to have a talk.
Monoma knew there was no escaping it so sucked it up and allowed Shinsou to express his ridiculous concerns. Except, that’s not what he did at all. The first thing he did was call him out on his behavior and how it was upsetting Shinsou that Monoma kept trying to run away from the topic. Additionally, he was angry that he was unable to talk about this sooner.
Then, he explained that whatever Monoma was going through no one would be able to help him unless he helped himself first. That it was up to Monoma to decide his own future because no one was going to do it for him anymore. Shinsou had originally planned to stay up all night to figure out a solution to his problems, but he couldn’t exactly do that if Monoma never told him what his problems were in the first place.
At first, Monoma wanted to argue back and defend himself for his actions. But even he knew that he was going about his issues the wrong way, that everyone was right when they said he needed help. He also knew Shinsou wasn’t being rude by any means and that he was just frustrated with Monoma because he was worried. The idea made Monoma shut up before he could even get a chance to speak.
Shinsou continued to explain that all he wanted Monoma to know was that he can’t force anything out of him that makes Monoma uncomfortable. That no matter how hard he tries Monoma will never open up on his own. That it’s okay to feel the way he’s feeling but wrong to push him aside like he’s nothing. Even so, he’ll continue giving Monoma time to process his emotions alone if that’s what feels right.
Monoma doesn’t need words of affirmation; he needs to be listened to. Only a therapist can tell Monoma how to cope with whatever he is dealing with right now. If Monoma continues running from the people guiding him towards the right path he will never heal. Shinsou finishes by offering his umbrella to Monoma and letting him know he’ll always be there for him because he’s his best friend and means a lot to him.
As direct as his lecture started, the sudden reassurance at the end made Monoma’s heart skip a beat. He hadn’t realized how patient Shinsou had been with him until today. That he meant so much to Shinsou to the point he hated being left in the dust about something that was hurting Monoma. That Shinsou would allow Monoma to take up all his time if it meant being listened to.
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Monoma’s face grew warm the longer he replayed Shinsou’s words and the meaning behind them. When he reached for the shaft of Shinsou’s umbrella, their fingertips awkwardly brushed against one another which made Monoma want to die right then and there. This normally wouldn’t be so awkward for Monoma but it was obvious that he was not the same person from 5 minutes ago.
Monoma was an observer and could tell when something was off. He didn’t need a doctor to diagnose him with anything because he figured it out immediately after Shinsou left. The red on his cheeks, the observation about their fingertips, the cut that pierced through Shinsou’s back because of the gaze he had on him, those were all signs that Monoma had fallen in love—or, informed him that he had been for awhile.
This was the second time Monoma had fallen for a friend special to him. With Kendo, it was because she respected Monoma and didn’t treat him any differently from anyone else despite her awareness of his mother’s condition. She made him feel stronger and was a safe place for him whenever he needed someone to talk to. As for Shinsou, it was his motivation and gentle nature.
Shinsou has always been an interesting person to Monoma. There were a lot of things he was naturally curious about since they were so alike yet so different. Monoma admired how dedicated Shinsou was to showing the world that people with quirks like his weren’t villainous people. The fact that he ended up meaning so much to Shinsou—so much so that he desired to be his best friend—embarrassed Monoma.
It was easy finding the pattern between his two romantic experiences. Shinsou and Kendo share a unique bond with Monoma in comparison to the friendly ones he has with his other friends. Kendo was his emotional soldier, while Shinsou was nothing more than an interesting guy that wanted to understand Monoma. Both these factors made Monoma feel loved and vulnerable.
But he never wanted anything more than a friendship with Kendo because he knew she didn’t love him back. He let himself fall freely because at the end of the day, they were still friends. With Shinsou, Monoma assumed he acted the way he did around him because he saw him as a best friend, but now he knows it was love all along. How could he possibly see it as nothing more than a friendship if he realized the opposite just now?
Another issue was Shinsou himself, who was hard to read. He said that he wanted to be someone Monoma could go to, someone special to him like a best friend. And while that sounded self-explanatory, something about the way Shinsou framed it suggested otherwise. If he was being serious, then Monoma was purposely looking too deep into his words in hopes of finding something more.
But he can’t really blame himself for that. Anyone with a heart like his would fall for someone as kind as Shinsou. In Monoma’s eyes, he knew he was odd, he knew he was annoying. He also knew that outside his crazy alter-ego, there wasn’t anything interesting about himself. He was quiet and boring.
Despite this, Shinsou made it clear he found Monoma interesting, and not just because of his weird personality. He’s never met anyone like him before, which made him want to be his friend. As tame as Monoma was, to Shinsou, he was amazing. While he wasn’t exactly his first friend, he was definitely Shinsou’s first intimate relationship.
That’s what made this so different. Monoma was interested in Shinsou, and Shinsou was interested in Monoma. When Monoma really thought about it, they were soulmates. He had been right when he said that they didn’t need to be around each other 24/7 to be close because they already were from the start.
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Monoma’s close friends were surprised when they found out he was in love with Shinsou. They looked at him like he was crazy when he explained that they were bonded by a red string. It embarrassed him because it looked like he was making things up to seem like the ‘perfect’ match when he was literally right, and no one was listening.
If you add their months together, it gives you the number 14. There are 12 months in a year, add two and you get February. February 14 is Valentine’s Day, a day that’s all about love and friendship. Their hair colors are complementary—they’re opposites but attract one another. Umbrellas symbolize mutual support in a relationship, Shinsou offered him his because he wants exactly just that.
His friends had to point out how red his face had gotten in order to get him to stop. It was hard for them to tell if Monoma was frustrated by his feelings, or if he was swooning over his love for Shinsou. When Monoma settled down and looked like he was on the verge of tears, they found their answer.
Monoma had always been aware that Shinsou was in love with him. He tried to ignore it and focus on his feelings only, but he couldn’t ignore the way Shinsou looked at him. That look of love that spoke louder than words ever could, the light teasing and the subtle flirting—humiliating to say the least; and so, so, so obvious.
Monoma wanted to be able to love Shinsou normally, but he was too charming. He was patient, he was kind, and he was adorable. The switch from unreadable to childish made Monoma want to shoot him in the head. He was in love with a loser, a romantic loser at that. It was one of the many things he unfortunately loved about Shinsou: his ability to be free and express himself.
Shinsou was a grown teenager working two jobs. He studied often and had a goal in life. He was sarcastic and an overall jerk. He had a sensitive heart and was gentle when he wanted to be. He was stupidly childish but managed to always keep his maturity. Monoma didn’t know why, but he wanted to be that way too.
There were a lot of things about Shinsou that Monoma admired. He’s been in the Hero Course longer than he has and yet he was toner in areas he wasn’t. Monoma liked that because it showed how dedicated Shinsou was to becoming a hero, they were permanent marks of his success. Monoma vowed to see himself that way too.
Monoma yearned for Shinsou’s love more than anything, but dating was out of the question. He was focused on his studies, and he knew that Shinsou was too. Balancing work and friendships was natural for Monoma, which is why adding an unfamiliar connection to something he’s already used to would overwhelm him. He also doesn’t want to push Shinsou aside, or leave little room for romance.
And yet, Monoma can't get the idea of a romantic relationship with Shinsou out of his mind. He hates the way Shinsou’s love makes his heart skip a beat, hates the way his face and fingertips blush in ways he never thought they could. He’s lovesick, constantly questioning what Shinsou has done to him.
There is no one in this world that is as patient with Monoma than Shinsou is. No one could ever love him the way Shinsou does. Monoma hopes that by some miracle, they will be able to make it work. He’s never been a spiritual person, he believes in facts and statistics. But just this once he hopes their perfect compatibility will make them last forever.
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By August, Monoma lost his self-respect and allowed himself to get lost in the moment with Shinsou despite how bad of an idea it was. Their usually talkative ‘dates’ grew quiet overtime, but who was he to complain? It gave him the perfect opportunity to watch Shinsou like a hawk while they studied or did whatever they were doing.
Shinsou used it to his advantage too by emphasizing how much he loved Monoma through his actions. He’s never been the type to say something anyway, at least not with Monoma. With him, he wants to express it. He’s not sure what they are, because even he notices Monoma’s not the same person he was about a month ago.
He wants to enjoy the gentle contact of their shoulders and wants to continue running his hands through Monoma's delicate hair, but he knows it’s not right. This wasn’t typical friend behavior, and he didn’t understand what changed in Monoma that’s making him act this way. He had an idea, but it always had a faint blush creeping up his neck when he thought about it, so he chose to ignore it.
He was just happy that Monoma finally started to notice him. In fact, Monoma confirmed that he was his favorite friend. Shinsou was still deeply in love with Monoma so he couldn’t hide the soft snicker that came out of his mouth every time he remembered that conversation. It was like he won some prize impossible to obtain.
They convinced themselves that this was enough, that this was what their hearts desired. A romantic relationship would ruin everything, keeping things casual was their best solution. There was nothing more to their subtle flirting, they never had an urge to kiss each other when their faces got too close for comfort, and they ignored how holding each other was a lot more intimate than it needed to be.
Shinsou always looked at Monoma with a fond look in his eyes, even before Monoma fell in love with him. The way he cared for him, the way he spoke to him, the way he held him—all of those signs had been mistaken as something platonic. But as soon as Monoma started looking at him the same way, as soon as he began bringing him over more often than usual, it raised a few questions.
Since Monoma had previously shared with his close friends that he was in love with Shinsou, they assumed they were dating now. Just to be safe, they asked Monoma about it. When he denied their accusations, they were confused. The visible hesitation that went through Monoma’s veins before he answered the question was suspicious.
The mundane look on his face after answering their question told them everything they needed to know. When Shinsou was asked about their relationship, he also hesitated. Then, he did that weird tick of his whenever he was nervous and rubbed the back of his neck, followed by a “No, we're not.” Unlike Monoma, he looked more uncomfortable than he did sad about his reality.
If there was something going on between them, Monoma would have said something by now. He’s never been the type to keep his mouth shut about something he feels is wrong—with Shinsou being just as straightforward. An exception to this is complimenting Monoma, Shinsou finds it hard to do that without getting flustered.
Another exception to this occurred a month ago in July when Monoma wasn't doing well mentally. Shinsou remembered that it was a personal problem he had been dealing with for years now, something Monoma couldn't talk about with just anybody. But by suppressing his emotions, he ended up hurting himself, which led to Shinsou's lecture about trusting him.
This final conclusion connected the dots to everything Shinsou had been recently questioning. Monoma, was once again, suppressing his feelings. Shinsou didn't want to accept it at first, especially because it seemed too good to be true, but Monoma liked him. In fact, he was in love with him. Not only that, but Monoma's feelings were too overwhelming for him to handle on his own.
Monoma has always lacked an interest in romance. As a child he would put friendships over relationships. This didn’t stop him from developing crushes because crushes aren’t romantic by default. He crushes on anyone he deems as impressive, like his classmates or his friends outside campus. He assumed he was going to be this way forever, he assumed nothing would change—then he met Shinsou.
All he’s ever known up until now was friendship. There was no romantic system in his body that knew where to take it from here because he’s never had one. He’s forced to accept a new experience he’s uncomfortable with because he has no other options to choose from. Shinsou doesn’t want that for Monoma. Monoma’s the only person he’s ever fallen for in his life, and he plans to keep it that way.
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Monoma’s confused as to why they’re parked in front of his statue. Nonetheless, he looks up at himself with pride and teases Shinsou for doing the same. Normally, Shinsou would laugh at a stupid remark like that. But today, he looks at Monoma with a concerned look on his face. Worried, Monoma asks if something’s wrong, to which Shinsou counterattacks by asking if he has feelings for him.
That shuts Monoma up immediately. Just like the day he fell in love with Shinsou, he’s not sure how to respond. He also knows he can’t avoid his question. He could always lie to Shinsou, but he can’t bring himself to do so when his mouth seems to be stuck in place. Regardless, Monoma’s silence answers for him. The only thing he can do is look down at the ground in shame.
Shinsou feels guilty for rushing Monoma but he needed to get it over with. He wants to let himself drown in Monoma’s red cheeks and awkward silence but he knows that he’s the only one happy right now. Monoma interrupts his gawking by admitting he hates Shinsou. He cringes at his comment but it was the only thing he could force out of his lips.
At least it made Shinsou laugh that beautiful laugh of his. Monoma resists doing the same and only musters a smile. They stay that way for a bit longer until Shinsou continues his rant, where he admits he never wanted to be ‘just a friend’ to Monoma, that deep in his heart he wanted to be his boyfriend.
He also acknowledges that the sudden change from friends to lovers is unrealistic. He figures that the best way to go about it is through dates and see if this is what they want, if this is what they long for, if this feels right. Their dates don't have to be everyday, they can be once a week—whatever Monoma is okay with, he's okay with.
Monoma let Shinsou finish his speech before making fun of him for being so dramatic with it. Shinsou gets embarrassed and fails to notice the familiar red tint on Monoma's face that he’s grown to love. Internally, Monoma’s glad that he fell for someone as kind as Shinsou. Somehow, he knows that they’re going to turn out just fine.
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Monoma’s first date with Shinsou was at a park feeding ducks. Monoma can’t remember much because both he and Shinsou spent the whole day snickering whenever the two made eye contact. Or, when their fingertips would brush against together when reaching for crumbs in the 3 bags they brought with them.
On their second date, they went bike riding around the same park from before. Shinsou remembers this one the most because bike riding is what got him to realize his feelings for Monoma. Monoma learned to remember it too because Shinsou would remind him of it on the anniversary of that day after they started dating.
The rest of their dates were just as memorable. While they never shared their first kiss together on any of those 20 dates, there were definitely times they came close to doing so. It was always Monoma that placed his face dangerously close to Shinsou’s lips. He had hoped Shinsou would reciprocate the action but all he ever did was laugh awkwardly and blush.
Shinsou desperately wanted to kiss Monoma, but his face was too pretty to smother with kisses so he’d rather not. Although kisses were meant to be short and sweet, Shinsou was afraid that Monoma would try to bite his face off the second their lips touched. Monoma was bad at romance, he could never express his love for Shinsou directly. He relied entirely on physical touch, which Shinsou was okay with.
If kissing was the biggest form of affection in a relationship, Monoma was willing to do it. He promised he’d wait until they started dating but Shinsou’s chapped lips were always on his mind. Then, he was introduced to different kinds of kissing, which satisfied him in the long run. As long as he was practicing the act of kissing, he was fine.
They started off with simple hand kisses since they were least awkward. Shinsou loved to compare his warm, tender hands to Monoma’s cold, jagged ones. He liked to examine them from time to time when given the chance. Monoma did the same thing because it looked romantic.
By the time they entered September together, Monoma knew he was ready. Shinsou had waited patiently for 9 months for Monoma to love him back. He waited 9 months to be able to call Monoma by his first name. Monoma admired the dedication, like always. Here Shinsou was, laying on his bed and getting grime all over his recently washed bedsheets.
Monoma loved it. He loved being this domestic with Shinsou, the love of his life. He loved his crooked smile and his jokes that didn’t make sense. He was in love with his gentle nature and poetic romance. He enjoyed making fun of his universe and getting the same treatment back. With hearts in his eyes, he caressed Shinsou’s beautiful face and admitted he loved him.
He will never forget the blush on Shinsou’s face that day. He will also never forget Shinsou’s panic when Monoma started crying right after his short confession. It had taken him so long to finally say those three simple words, three simple words that he thought he’d never be able to admit. It was all worth it when Shinsou cupped his face in reassurance and introduced him to forehead kisses.
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Shinsou found it endearing that Monoma was the first to say ‘I love you’ in their relationship. All those times he said it, it was never in the same context. It was the one thing he beat him in, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. Monoma still struggled expressing his love for Shinsou through words, so he continued depending on physical touch.
It was funny in a way because the only words he could say without any struggle were ‘I-love-you.’ It showed just how serious he was about his boyfriend and the love he had in his heart. Shinsou didn’t mind it all because it allowed there to be lots of hand holding and anything under that physical touch category.
Shinsou blames Monoma’s dorm room for the bad habit he developed just a week after they started dating. He’s not sure why but that area eventually became responsible for all their troubles like a broken finger or an electric shock. Although, he thanks that pretty little room for initiating their first kiss.
It was Monoma who had initiated their first kiss. Throughout Monoma's phase of falling for Shinsou, he had always been the slow one. The concept of a romantic relationship was new to Monoma, so it was Shinsou that did most of the teaching. He was new to the idea himself, but with Monoma, everything felt natural.
The one thing Monoma didn't fear were kisses, which were beautiful to Monoma. They were slow, they were tender, and they were enchanting. He knows he'd get lost in a kiss with Shinsou because he fits that gentle description perfectly. Kisses slowed down time and made everything disappear, a healthier escape from reality that Monoma longed for.
Although he had tried kissing Shinsou before, this time was much different. All those past attempts were out of an instinct to fit a strict criteria, until he realized there were none and that everything was done at one's own pace. Shinsou had been there through all his baby steps, now, he was ready to pay that kindness back.
Monoma blames Shinsou for looking so ethereal while tutoring him about chemistry. His intellect on the subject was attractive to Monoma because it was something Shinsou had an interest in, it wasn't something he was just good at. Monoma hadn't been paying attention so the sudden silence startled him—he was supposed to be answering a question.
Ignoring his situation, he took advantage of the quiet atmosphere and moved his seat closer to Shinsou—he wanted to capture that beauty up close. Monoma made sure to ask if their current distance was okay with Shinsou, to which he said yes to. He repeated this two more times until their noses touched.
Monoma would have laughed at Shinsou's red cheeks if he wasn't so focused on his chapped lips instead. When they made eye contact, he felt his own face grow red. Carefully, he placed his hands on each side of Shinsou's head and kissed him. He could hear Shinsou's heart racing the second the world fell into a deeper silence.
Shinsou's lips might have been chapped, but they were soft to Monoma. He wasn't a fan of oranges, but they tasted magnificent when they came from Shinsou's lips. Once he pulled back, he scolded Shinsou for assuming he wouldn't be a gentle kisser. It was a foolish concern because he was the one that desired tenderness and patience above all else.
He didn't get to explain that part because Shinsou had interrupted him with another kiss. 2 minutes into it, Monoma had to force Shinsou off of him and tease him about how this wasn't his ideal way of making out. Shinsou laughed at that, and Monoma did the same back.
Monoma loved kissing Shinsou, and Shinsou enjoyed making out. They were opposites in every way but managed to stay parallel. They were lovers who did all things romantic but were also friends that liked to get on each other's nerves. They’d fall in love with each other again and again no matter how their story went because they were soulmates in every way possible.
Shinsou never got to meet Monoma’s mother, but he was there in the background of a family photo when they were 5. He caught a glimpse of Monoma at a tree lighting three years later, and spoke with him one last time during their middle school years on Twitter through insults since Monoma had been disrespecting his favorite hero.
From the 13 + 1™ theory, to the hippocampus allegory, the two were destined for each other in every universe. There is no Neito Monoma without Hitoshi Shinsou, and there is no Hitoshi Shinsou without Neito Monoma. Their characters were created to show how even polar opposites can fall in love.