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The realization comes out of nowhere.
There’s no spectacular moment beneath the fireworks, no sudden clarity under the bloom of a cherry blossom tree like in all the cheesy romance anime Zenitsu watches. It’s a mundane Thursday night, the evening heavy with the burden of one more day of school ahead before the relief of the weekend. Tanjiro is sitting cross-legged on the middle of Zenitsu’s bed, his concentration unwavering as he works through his mathematics homework. The end of his pencil is chewed in his mouth as his brows furrow in that adorable way they always do when he’s focused. Inosuke, sitting by Tanjiro’s side, is slouched over a bowl as he loudly chews on a handful of rice crackers, carelessly letting crumbs spill onto the civics textbook he’s supposed to be studying.
Zenitsu briefly looks up from his own homework. Tanjiro’s warm eyes squint in satisfaction as he scribbles out the solution to a math problem, and Inosuke grunts happily when he finds a wasabi pea buried in his handful of crackers, face lighting up. It’s then that Zenitsu thinks, ”I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life like this.”
The thought catches him off guard. As soon as it lands, his brain screeches to a halt.
That’s kind of a gay thing to say, right?
That’s because you are gay, his mind helpfully replies. Specifically for Tanjiro and Inosuke.
Zenitsu freezes. Oh. He’s totally gay for Tanjiro and Inosuke.
Oh, my God. That’s impossible. That can’t be right. He’s not gay, and it’s definitely not for Tanjiro and Inosuke, his best friends who are also totally straight like he is. Tanjiro is one of the most stubborn people he knows and irritatingly kind and has a million girls fawning over him, and Inosuke is Inosuke and rude and gross and doesn’t ever understand what’s going on. There’s no way he's into them like that.
But there’s a tight, fluttering feeling in his chest that’s impossible to deny. Tanjiro has a gentle, satisfied smile as he shuts his textbook and sets it down on the bed next to him, and Inosuke bites his tongue with an adorable expression of determination as he starts obnoxiously digging through the bowl of rice crackers, searching for more wasabi peas, and Zenitsu thinks oh, I’m so fucked.
Inosuke’s head suddenly snaps up. His unfairly pretty green eyes lock with Zenitsu’s, and Zenitsu is lost. Completely lost. For a moment, he feels like he can’t breathe. And then, around a mouthful of rice crackers, with crumbs wedged between his teeth and nori stuck grossly to the side of his mouth, Inosuke raises an eyebrow and asks, “What’re you starin’ at me for, cheesehead?”
Zenitsu panics. He’s not staring. Definitely not. He’s not staring at the way Inosuke’s thick lashes frame his eyes so prettily, or the way his messy black hair looks so effortlessly beautiful as his bangs fall around his face. “I’m not staring at you!” Zenitsu shrieks, too loudly. It comes out sharper than he expects it to, and Inosuke and Tanjiro both flinch back against the bed in surprise. “You’re dumb! Why would I stare at you?!”
Inosuke blinks, looking lost for a second. But when he gets over the shock of Zenitsu’s sudden yell, he immediately takes the opportunity to escalate things like he always does. “I’m not dumb, you’re dumb!” he snaps. He nearly tosses the rice crackers out of his lap. The bowl tips over, sending crackers scattering messily across the yellow comforter. “You were staring, you weirdo! You wanna fight?!”
Zenitsu watches in horror as Inosuke starts leaning forward, bracing his weight against his arm like he’s getting ready to crawl forward and pounce on him. Frantically, he scrambles backwards, trying to push as much distance between them as possible with the trio cramped on his bed. ”STAY AWAY FROM ME!” he wails, his voice high-pitched and panicked. ”I WASN’T STARING, I WASN’T! JUST SHUT UP!”
Dramatics and overreactions are nothing new coming from Zenitsu, but even he’s shocked by his own sudden outburst. Tanjiro, ever the pacifier between them, takes the pen out of his mouth with a concerned look crossing his face and says “Zenitsu, what’s gotten into you?” At the same time, there’s a loud THUNK against the wall he shares with Kaigaku’s bedroom, followed by his brother’s muffled voice yelling ”Shut the hell up!”
And then, a few moments later, Gramps calls out sternly from the kitchen. “Keep the volume down, boys!”
Zenitsu can’t handle this. Kaigaku hates him, Gramps hates him, the world hates him, and he’s in love with his two best friends.
Inosuke laughs loudly with no regard whatsoever for Zenitsu’s poor brother and grandfather. Without warning, he lunges at Zenitsu. The two of them tumble to the floor in a heap of limbs and rice cracker crumbs. Tanjiro immediately calls out an apology to both Gramps and Kaigaku as Zenitsu’s voice rings out in a high-pitched wail beneath the weight of Inosuke’s body
He writhes beneath him, trying desperately to shove him off, but the larger boy just hollers with amusement, completely unbothered as he pushes his face down against the rug. It feels like the room is closing in on him, and as he starts loudly begging for Tanjiro to save him, he can only think one thing.
I’m so completely fucked.