Chapter Text
R4T was sitting in their room in the cabin. She had moved out of the cabin around a week earlier but she couldn't find herself properly staying away, not with Lux buried nearby. He often spends his evenings under the stars, sitting at Lux's grave, staring blankly at the slowly healing ground, jealous the earth can heal so quickly and yet he's stuck in his grief. This night was different, though, very different. R4T was in their room after dipping from the group attacking Blake to try to finally rid themselves of him, but they just couldn't find themselves wanting him dead. She still felt a certain affection for her previous fling, something that had never went away. It ate at him, he hated this feeling and yet it never went away, no matter how hard he tried to get over their toxic relationship. Yet, it never happens, it always persists.
The sound of Blake's voice echoed through the nearly empty house, reaching R4T's ears. She got up quietly, walking downstairs under the cover of the darkness, wondering what he was doing here. That's when it clicked, he wanted to see if milk would reverse the effects of the sickness Nox had placed on him. R4T knew damn well it wouldn't, that it would only frustrate the already angry man. They sighed, leaning against the put out fireplace, as they watched Blake look for milk. "It's in the kitchen, one of the top shelves I believe." His voice is meant to come out as sincere, with a hint of worry, but it clearly doesn't get across to the man across from him, his head turning to face the other. "You."
Blake sounded... Angry. Rightfully so, R4T supposed, probably angry at her as he always was. "Though the milk won't help, I'll have you know." Blake scoffed, rolling his eyes. "And why should I trust you?" That hits them right in the heart, well, what isn't frozen or broken from grief. "Because I mean no harm, believe it or not. You're either going to have to set your spawn in my bed and kill yourself or I can see if I can do anything about it, Folly suppressing my powers or not. Pick your poison." Blake seemed to weigh his options, but R4T gets a little impatient. He's a tired man, one who just wants to retire properly and not have people roam around his cabin where his daughter figure is buried nearby. "I'd rather not be at the other end of your chaos magic, thank you very much."
Blake seemed filled with spite, it upsets R4T to some degree. She was just trying to help him, she didn't want to fight, and yet that's all he ever seemed to want to do. They sighed, deciding not to fight him as there was no point. "Alright, you have fun with that." He could see the shock on Blake's face. "What?" "You heard me, have fun with that." Blake seemed to pause. "You're not going to fight me? No snarky words, no back chatting? Nothing?" "No. There's no point when in the end you will do as you please anyway. I'm tired, Blake. You have fun getting rid of the stupid sickness, feel free to eat some of the food that Astron and I left while you recover, I'm just done with this, us fighting all of the time. You're never satisfied, are you?"
That caused confusion to cross Blake's face, R4T had no way to know what the other man was thinking, and that didn't bother her, not at all. "Goodnight, Blake." "Wait." He grabbed their arm. "What?" "I... Why... Just why?" R4T sighs, looking away for a second before he reached back to unclasp his mask, pulling it away to show folly red eyes and slightly tanned skin. "It's all the same, I'm done. You always want a fight, and I'm done fighting. I just want to retire, just want to rest after I lost someone close to me. Why won't you allow me that luxury? Why must you cling to me like a parasite?" The exhaustion R4T was feeling showed in their expression, eyebags resting heavily on their lower lids, eyes cold and devoid of any of its normal amusement, filled only with sorrow and fatigue.
Blake scoffed, turning away so he wouldn't see her expression. There was a small hint of guilt there, though it would be hard to see if R4T didn't know him so well. He seemed to not be able to give them an answer, only turning on his heel to ascend the stairs towards R4T's former room. R4T, in turn, moved towards Lux's grave, sitting with his hands in his lap as he looked at the grave. “Pardonne-moi, Lux... Je suis désolé de ne pas avoir pu te sauver...” She began to cry, hands on the ground, digging into the dirt. There was a sense of solace there, at the grave of their daughter of sorts. It was like she was there comforting him every time he visited. The road to healing is a long one, but with enough perseverance it can be achieved, especially with the proper care and good allies by ones side.