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Despite everything, R4t could never stop returning to the river. They had affectionately nicknamed the river La Seine, a call back to their home. It also reminded, them of the song from one of their favorite movies, Un monstre á Paris. The water was murky, so much so you could barely see the fish swimming beneath the surface. Fish. R4t had some fish before they got stuck here. It was a curious thing, memory. Sometimes R4t couldn't remember a thing from before they got here, other times they were as clear as his current reality. Almost. But not quite.
Grief was a funny thing. Truly. No matter what R4t did, Lux didn't leave their memory. Neither did The Mason. Or Zombie. Or Void. Maybe that was apart of Folly's game. She was a goddess of chaos after all, it was definitely something she'd do. R4t couldn't remember how they knew Folly, how she was connected to them. But they knew they hated her, deeply. It wasn't always there, it would come in bursts. Just like their grief. Mortality was funny when you've lived so long as an immortal. That's another R4t hated about this place, the mortality and the death.
When people died, they really died. Something R4t wasn't used to, not since they were incredibly new to the universe anyway. They remember that night, what happened to their family. It appears in their dreams, fuzzy because they were young and it was so long ago but still so real. How their older sister grabbed them, how they were one of three to survive out of sixteen children. Immortals are funny like that, they don't follow the rules humans do. Maybe that's why R4t didn't understand so many of the inhabitants of this place. They didn't know the rules. Couldn't.
Besides, R4t was only a half sibling to all of them, that's something they remembered. They all shared a father but besides R4t themself, only one other didn't share a mother with the rest. They were both children from different women. But their siblings loved them endlessly. But they barely remembered that. All they knew at this point was anger and grief. Deep rooted grief, the kind that doesn't go away after crying or staying in bed for days. The kind you have to live with. And they couldn't share it with anyone. They weren't close with anyone. Their fault.
But of course someone had to interrupt their pity party. Footsteps crunching the fall leaves echoed in the nighttime silence. R4t quickly wiped the tears that had fallen and turned around, drawing their sythe to protect them. R4t grimaced. Blake. Of course it was him. R4t turned around and decided to ignore him, better than being forced to remember their previous romance. They sat in relative silence after that, simply watching the fish swimming around. It reminded R4t, painfully so, of a previous date of theirs. Life was easier then, happier. They weren't trapped by their m̵̷͉̤̠̲͇̝͓͍͓̙̲̺̝̗̀ͮ͗̆̓̓͑̀̐̋̑͘̚̚͢͟͞_̯ơ̡̻̙͙͛͌ͦͧͬ͜_̸̴̞̮͍͎̹̣ͣ́͗ͬ̒̓̑̇ͣͫ̚͞͞͠ţ̴̧̢̞͇͎͍̹̱͓͓͙͇͍̬͇̪̬̳͈͉͓̍̾ͪͩ̾̔͒̂̉̆̆̂̉̽͊̀̕̚͢͢͝͠ͅḩ̝̦̮̤̰̘̰̓͐̎͒̎ͧͥͫ͒_̧̡̥̝̗͍̩̟̞͍̳̤̞͓̜̿͒̓ͧ̋̉̓͋ͥ̔́͘͟ͅe̹̳̺͎̙̙ͥ̍̇̌̐̍_̵̡̟̂ͣ̊ͨ̋͜͟͟r̴̨̭͚̣͛̄̓. Safe. Protected. Loved.
"You can barely see the salmon." "Saumon." R4t corrected. "You know I hate the English word, I taught you the French one ages ago." Blake chuckled at that. "Yeah, you did." They fell into silence before Blake spoke again. "Why do we hate each other? I mean, you were kind enough to help me when I was sick… I can't remember why I hate you so much." R4t paused, taking a long look at Blake. "Do you want the truth or do you want the truth I should tell you?" "The real truth, obviously." "Okay."
R4t took a deep breath. "Now, you're gonna get upset, like really upset. Just don't do anything stupid, yeah?" "Of course, why would-" "I know you, Blake. You make rash decisions like it's the only thing keeping you alive." Blake laughed lightly at that. "Okay, you got me. Now tell me." R4t nodded, trying to find the words. "This, all of what's around us, isn't real. We're stuck and we can't leave. Our relationships are manufactured, manipulated. No, you can't just free yourself from it either. I could try, but it wouldn't be easy. And I've been basically nerfed." "What?"
"I know, you're wondering how in the world I could be nerfed, but I am. I was born with extraordinary powers. But the person I'll call the puppet master sealed them away when they trapped us all here. So we're trapped until they're done playing with us. Sorry." Blake seemed to process it all quicker than R4t could've guessed he would. "Folly?" R4t just nodded, scared of what would happen if they said anything. "Huh… Wow… Uhm… I'm gonna need a minute." "Take all the time you need, Blake." He did, they sat on the side of the river, watching.
It was an odd feeling, being like this again. R4t couldn't help but inch closer to Blake. Slowly. Quietly. Until they were side by side, R4t's head resting on Blake's shoulder. R4t closed their eyes, listening to the sounds of the river, the fish, the trees. They didn't care that it was an illusion, peace for just a moment was all they wanted. And they finally got it. Blake wrapped an arm around R4t, pulling them closer. "I'm sorry." He said simply. "Don't be, you didn't want to anyway. We just have to move forwards, that's all." "Yeah… that's all…"
They fell into silence again, staying close. If you asked R4t if they wanted to move, they would complain about never wanting to leave. And maybe that was a good thing. Maybe they just needed this peace every so often. But it never stayed. Soon enough Blake would forget their softer moments again and hate them with a passion that rivaled the sin of wrath itself. And R4t would be alone again. Exactly how Folly wanted them to be. Always manipulating situations to make R4t lose allies. Always ripping people from R4t. Always screwing them over regardless of their relation. R4t just wanted more time.