Chapter Text
The crunch of leaves ground R4t, just like the fresh air of the forest did. The solitude was nice too. Calming. It was predictable, a space away from the chaos of the others. Don't get her wrong, she loved chaos. But sometimes a lack of it is good too. The lack of control over his own life was a major point of contention between R4t and Folly, on the rare occasion the goddess visited her disappointment. The control Folly held over this reality was… annoying to say the least. It was a carefully crafted prison. No way in or out.
It was hard to stay in one place for too long, too dangerous. Between sleepless nights, rainy dawns, disgustingly sunny afternoons, and quiet twilights, R4t refused to stay still. It wasn't right. Lux was gone. She couldn't feel the sun on her face anymore, couldn't take quiet walks in the forest anymore, couldn't enjoy life. R4t knew she wasn't really gone, this was a pocket dimension and death meant you got put back where you belonged. Zombie went to the Whitepine Estate, Lux and The Mason were no doubt together once again in Lux's childhood home, and Void was Folly knows where.
But it never mattered to R4t. Why would it? He was stuck here with no way out, very few allies, and a manical goddess watching over him. Astron was the one person she truly trusted, they never played sides and was honest with her. At the end of the day, however, R4t only wanted one person. Blake Winsweep. That idiotic manchild who insisted R4t was evil(only because he was being manipulated but that's beside the point). And worst of all, he never seemed to want to leave R4t alone. Of course he didn't. It was, annoyingly, so like him.
And yet it was endearing to R4t. It reminded them of happier days, ones years before all of this where the sun was beaming on them and they were laughing. God, he missed his laugh. If she had to use one word to describe it, it would be joyful. He was always so filled with joy. Even when he was slightly insane and attacked R4t. It always made them feel so conflicted. Love was a complicated thing, especially if you had lived as long as R4t had. And had a maniac for a mother.
The breeze pulled R4t out of their head, allowing them to listen to the birds around them. But it reminded them of one of their first dates. And that was not something to dwell on, especially when there were footsteps approaching. R4t quietly drew their scythe and hid amongst the trees. Of course it was Blake, why would it be anyone else. R4t huffed and put away their scythe, moving into the open. "What do you want?" R4t had their arms crossed, a frown on their face. Blake smiled, that dumb crooked smile that always made R4t melt.
It was a rare occurrence where both of them had their masks off, Blake's hanging from his belt and R4t's tucked within the ties of their apron. R4t's hand moved to grab their mask, but Blake was faster. He grabbed her hand, holding it up. "Wait." R4t analyzed his eyes, looking for something. And they found what they were looking for. The usual baby pink ring around his eyes, something that almost everyone on the server had due to Folly, was gone. It was actually him. And chances are that he didn't remember a thing that has happened since he got here.
R4t sighed, letting their guard down and looking at the ground before looking up with a smile. "You don't remember anything, do you?" Blake shook his head, "Fill me in?" R4t laughed, a genuine laugh. "No… I would but now is not the time. But I'll tell you what I can on the walk back to my cabin and while I make some daube provençale." Blake's eyes lit up at that and R4t laughed. "Yes, yes, your favorite. Now, follow me." R4t knew these woods better than most, and definitely better than Blake with amensia. It was almost funny, almost.
But it was definitely endearing. And that was enough to make R4t trip a few times. As they brushed off their skirt, Blake broke out laugh. R4t frowned and hit him upside the head, making him laugh harder. "I will force feed you a dead rat if you don't stop laughing." That got him to shut up quickly. "Good. Let's continue." And so their journey continued. Mostly in silence, but on occasion Blake would hum a tune, the same ones from that date R4t thought about earlier. It made them cringe, a frown replacing their easy smile. Blake's smile dropped.
"What's wrong?" R4t stopped. "Oh… nothing… Let's keep going." Blake grapped their wrist. "No, tell me." R4t huffed, frustrated. "Blake, you'll never forgive yourself if I tell you why, even though it isn't your fault." "What?" "All I'm gonna say is Folly. That's all you get." "Oh…" Blake seemed to think over things while they finished their walk, and even for a while after they got to the cabin. While R4t cooked, Blake looked around. He seemed intrigued by R4t's way of life here. Silence filled the air at the same time as the smell of the food, calm too.
R4t was careful, knowing the slightest deviation from what Blake likes would probably let Folly control him again in a second. It only made R4t wonder how he broke free in the first place. What made Folly's near total control falter? Was she wounded? Dealing with higher powers? Was R4t's father free? Too many questions that couldn't be asked. That frustrated R4t, more than she liked. It was ridiculous. And only made R4t yearn for freedom like never before. Freedom would mean answers, Freedom would mean love. Family. Safety. No more Folly, no more uncertainty. Blake finally broke the silence, "What did I do?"