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Chapter Text

Ashes rained down like sleet upon the ground. The wind swept them around with such ferocity one needed an exceptional amount of balance to stand their ground in the grand storm. Ashes would occasionally ride the ferocious winds up into the sky, covering the grand expanse of clouds with a thick layer of resentful ashes. Those who stayed on the ground, swept by the wind near the group who began crowding around a tall mountain that appeared to be the source of the haunting amounts of ashes, would cut like knives against the corporal forms of any being too close to their swarms.

The land under the light clouds of Heaven shook with a force so extravagant, it seemed that the earthen ground below would break apart in mere seconds. Many officials began to clamor down to see, to their horror, the writhing mass of a mountain that commanded the ground beneath it to tremble with such power. The land around the mountain, the rugged, unforgiving terrain was coated in blankets of dark ash, appearing like a crude snowfall that unforgivingly suffocated the ground below. The mountain itself was a beauty to behold, grand and tall, coated in layers of resentful energy from the thousands of lethal battles that had just taken place. Though here, where there is gruesome death, there is conversely the exorbitant introduction of a new beginning.

Here, Mount Tonglu, the battle ground with only one victor, where thousands would enter for a sliver of the promise of power that the Kiln held in its loosening control. Where the bounds of death would loosen as ghosts fought with each other until the air of dispersed spirits sat heavily on the ground and surrounding the victors of these vicious battles. Until one remains. Some would flee the battle grounds, tell tall tales of the ferocious ghosts that they would face, who would kill with the swiftness of the wind and absorb inconceivable amounts of power from their victories, only continuing the cycle of bloodshed.

Two Calamities had already been born from this accursed mountain; Crimson Rain Sought Flower and Black Water Sinking Ship. Both of them had already done such heavy amounts of damage, to where uttering their names felt almost like a death sentence unto itself, especially to the Heavens. The defeat of thirty-three heavenly officials and the burning of hundreds of temples still left a gaping scar. Hua Cheng has already done a truly calamitous amount of damage to both Heavens physical state and its reputation, and no one knew what this new calamity would bring.

Many officials secretly hoped that it would adopt the same demeanor as Black Water Sinking Ships, one where they would completely leave the Heavens alone and they too would ignore the Calamity in question for as long as they needed to. This was the best outcome. If another Hua Cheng were to arise from this mountain of death, well then, they could only hope that they would destroy each other.

News of this new Calamity spread before they had even entered the battleground. Heaven had been desperate to keep the birth of a new calamity from happening, so they stationed any competent martial god to set barriers outside the entry ways to the Kiln. This was their best chance, and it had worked for decades, so there was truly no reason for it to not work then. The communication array that day was swarming with voices, different heavenly officials giving reports on their status, all slightly boasting about their ability to dispel the surrounding ghosts, some even talking with gracious amounts of egomania on their ability to create an impenetrable spiritual blockade around their designated perimeter.

Until one went quiet.

No one had noticed for a couple of minutes, the flurry of voices doing good at drowning out any concern for just one god’s silence.

“Hey, Meng Xing, is everything alright on your end?”

“Hello?”

Some ghosts in the stations near the missing Heavenly officials began to dispel from the swarms of crowding ghosts at a rapid rate, prompting more questioning from the array and the talk of the possibility that the spirits may be planning to try to swarm one of the gods fitfully. So, there was a unanimous decision to send one of the officials who was still residing in Heaven to check up on him, truly it was harmless, these ghosts could not veritably injure a god if they tried, they cannot even form a crack in a spiritual barrier, there really was no possibility that they could incapacitate even a Middle Court official.

After a moment of silence in the communication array, everyone holding their breaths for what must surely be an unnecessary worry, one voice shakily spoke out.

“They… there is… he's injured... badly. I need support here, now!”

The official had been found sliced cleanly in half, blood quickly clotting the gaping wound with its embedded spiritual energy, and his eyes blown wide with shock as blood dribbled down the chin of his face pale with fright. The spiritual barrier that he had formed was fractured down the middle, already close to disintegrating completely, as hundreds of spirits began flooding through to the battle ground.

With the breach of an entryway, the onslaught of destruction would begin in mere seconds and there would be no stopping the ghosts already inside. The Heavens had failed. Once the officials recuperated in Heaven they frantically began to try and gather information of who could commit such an atrocity and injure one of their own to the point where the loss of followers was imminent. Only one report was found, of a ghost wearing dark robes that used a white silk and stole the heavenly official’s sword that they then used to cut them down and enter the battleground. A ghost with this amount of power, before even entering the Kiln, was surely one that would not fall to the power of other spirits. Surely, this would become the newest Ghost King, one that had already proven that they could leave not only a gaping scar, but maybe the complete destruction of much of the Heavens.

The only hope left was that sometimes spirits, no matter their strength, could not handle the power of the Kiln tearing them apart and would disperse from the archaic energy flowing through their veins. If this spirit could disperse before Heaven had to even lay eyes on the miserable creature, everything would sort itself out eventually and all would return to the normal they had become accustomed to with only three considerable calamities.

Now, standing in front of the active mountain in front of them, Heaven knew their fate would not rest peacefully. The heavenly officials that descended for this opportunity were almost drowning in the crowds of ghosts who emphatically surrounded them. But who could really blame them? It seemed as if time itself was slowing as the crowd waited in anticipation, excitement, nervousness, dread, every emotion stewing in one grand melting pot of tension as the mountain continued to tremble.

The crowd was drenched in ashes, beginning to cover them like the snow that was now melting off the top of the mountain with the scorching heat produced below. It had taken this new calamity only nine days to finally rouse the Kiln from its slumber and escape, the power this individual must hold must be so grand that they could possibly rival Crimson Rain Sought Flower. Many ghosts watched with rapt attention as the mountain trembled, waiting for any indication of the entrance of the new calamity, surely committing every movement to memory to spread the story of this calamity like a raging wildfire.

A large crack formed on the surface of the Kiln. The crowd seemed to gasp, even though most of the attendants had probably not used their lungs in decades, as energy seemed to pour out of the Kiln like the physical lava that ran down its surface. The top of the Kiln itself began to slowly open as if it was being wrenched open by the being inside, rocks tumbling into the lava that seemed to pour out at an expansive rate. The Kiln must favor the being inside it, to give it such a grand entrance.

More ashes, more than ever, began to dance in the air, blown by a spiritual wind that forbid them from touching the ground anymore, as if each speck was special. The ashes swirled harshly around the mountain, forcing the crowd to step further away as the storm carried on with ferocity and threatened to cut down the crowd below it. And there, amongst the storm of ashes, the Kiln halted its trembling.

Time, if it had been slowing earlier, now fully stopped as a figure emerged from the Kiln, bathed in the harsh red light from the magma beneath. Their clothes were dark and fluttering through the increasingly heavy wind, their untied chestnut brown hair whipped through the air like a flawless sword attack as it framed the gleaming silver mask that rested on the face of the individual on the mountain.

The crowd gasped at the newest arrival and some ghosts, those who were not encapsulated with their shock, almost began to kneel to the being above.

Nothing about their face was visible besides the mask, in fact the very figure itself was almost clouded with so much power, the air around it seemed to distort like a crude fog. The winds of ash began to restlessly circle the figure, occasionally whipping out towards the crowd in a storming frenzy that bended to the will of its master. This was the newest calamity. This would be the end of the Heavens.

A wail pierced through the air like a shockwave, forcing the crowd back and for the heavenly officials to rest their hands on their weapons, preparing for battle. The being on the mountain stopped its screeching and curled in on itself as it shook violently. Then suddenly, the calamity froze, it stopped its shaking, its screeching, any indication that it was even present. Then, with languid movement, the calamity rose to their full height once more, looking as harrowing as it had before. The officials waited below with bated breath for the being to make its next move, and then, in a flurry of ash and what seemed to be… pale white flower petals, the calamity was gone.

The officials, the ghosts, the Heavens, and the earth itself began searching in confusion. Was this some sort of attack strategy? Was this new calamity about to destroy every being in its path without giving it the solace of even seeing the cause of what its destruction was? The crowd waited, and waited, impatiently biding their time until the calamity made its imminent strike, the next move, anything that proved this new being was even real.

But no matter how long they waited. Nothing came. The power dispersed, the ashes falling to the ground and disintegrating into the dirt below, the Kiln sealing itself once more until it deemed itself ready to bear a new calamity. And slowly, the crowd dispersed, some roaming to search for where the new calamity may have gone, some returning to their homes to spread the ghastly tale of what had just occurred. But the Heavens did nothing but wait, every official was tense with anxiety, some departed to the mortal realm to scavenge their temples in case the calamity decided that destruction was its main priority, some kept watch of every entryway to the Heavens incase this ghost proved itself in the humiliating defeat of the gods.

The world waited for years, decades, centuries, yet not another word of this calamity was heard again. The Heavenly Emperor launched investigation after investigation into where this new calamity was, how much of a threat they were, what their plans were, yet nothing came of it. Folk tales began to spread of seeing the calamity on the outskirts of villages, deep in the forest, only for them to disappear when one tried to get a closer look. And quickly, the folk tales diminished into wildly spun ghost stories that were so fantastical they could not possibly be proven truthful.

So, the Heavens moved on, investing themselves in other matters far more presently important than a sliver of information about this elusive ghost king. The ghosts took it upon themselves to aptly name this new calamity Silver Ash Amongst Flower, attempting to create an identity for a being they had never known. The flower petals found at Mount Tonglu that day, the ones that danced with the abundant ashes around them, were occasionally found on pathways in the mortal realm, their petal dusted with ashes and the ground surrounding them blanketed in the delicate ashes like a light dusting of clouds in a winter sky. And yet, no calamity was ever found near them.

Once the Heavens moved on it seemed the world did as well, the name Silver Ash Amongst Flower becoming more and more of a childish tale as the centuries passed. One that the mortal realm deemed as nothing more than a specter of what it once was, some spreading that the calamity may have dispersed after centuries of its absence.

As new heavenly officials ascended, they too believed that this calamity was truly nothing more than a tale, something to worry about no longer, and they continued on as such. But to those who were there, no matter what the mortal realm said of this calamity, they would always remember the blankets of ash, the storms of power. They would always remember Silver Ash Amongst Flower.

It would be impossible to forget.

Chapter Text

The Gambler’s Den was at its usual level of raucousness that night. Xie Lian sat comfortably in between his beloved’s legs, leaning back to rest against his beloved as Hua Cheng gracefully ran his fingers through his hair. The comfort that his husband brought him almost made Xie Lian hum in contentment; there was nothing better than being with his husband. Even though the outside may be booming with noise and the fluttering of figures as many entered and left the gambling floor, it was as if nothing existed outside just him and his San Lang. As if they were in their own little world of love and devotion.

“What’s gege thinking about so intently?” Hua Cheng asked, his voice making his chest slightly rumble under Xie Lian’s back, causing him to press further into his chest lovingly.

“Just thinking about how much I love my husband; how much I love this.” Xie Lian replied, giggling as Hua Cheng lightly kissed the top of his head, his patented foxlike smile most definitely rising on his face.

“What a funny coincidence, I was thinking the same thing.” Hua Cheng said as he leaned his head downward and kissed Xie Lian on his lips. Xie Lian leaned into the kiss and only pulled away when he felt the need to gasp for air. Hua Cheng, of course, chuckled at his antics and snuck a hand around Xie Lian’s waist, pulling him closer to himself. Xie Lian hummed in approval of his actions, and he titled his head upward to give his beloved a kiss on the cheek.

A moment passed with the two simply relishing in the others existence, the Gambler’s Den around them continuing to grow restless with fervor. Different bets were heard from all over the den, some louder than others, as humans and ghosts alike bet with enthusiasm.

“I’ll bet my right hand for that jade necklace your wearing…”

“I’ll bet all my paints if my enemy’s business crumbles…”

“Damn it!”

Xie Lian laughed a little at the eccentric gamblers, snuggling closer to his beloved as he did so.

“Is there any bets San Lang is especially interested in?” Xie Lian asked, his eyes scanning the tables of gamblers.

“Not particularly, the only thing I am interested in is gege,” Hua Cheng suavely replied.

“San Lang!” Xie Lian laughed at the comment, “You have to warn me before you say things like that!”

Hua Cheng chuckled and leaned his head down to speak directly in Xie Lian’s ear.

“I’m going to be warning you a lot then.”

“San Lang!”

Xie Lian once again kissed his beloved on the lips, using it as a simple way of shutting up his husband. As Hua Cheng leaned further into the kiss, Xie Lian decided to pull away, causing his husband to pout at the loss.

Xie Lian thought to himself just how lucky he was to have his husband. For centuries smiling and laughing came rarely, being alone dampened many of the positive things in life as he was left to stew in his grief. But now, thanks to his beloved San Lang, he finds himself smiling and laughing every day, to the obvious pleasure of his husband -if his content smirk is anything to go by.

Once the pair settled down, languidly watching the crowd once more, Xie Lian found it to be the perfect time to talk.

“Ling Wen called for a meeting tomorrow with all of the heavenly officials. I promise I’ll come home as soon as it is over, would San Lang like to go for a walk after?”

“I wish gege didn’t have to go, why not skip it gege, we could go on a walk for the whole day if you want… or,” Hua Cheng leaned in closer, letting his breath hit the back of Xie Lian’s ear, “we could do something else for the whole day.”

Xie Lian felt a blush creeping on his cheeks as he turned his head into Hua Cheng’s chest to hide his blushing face.

“I don’t think I can miss another meeting San Lang… besides, this one seems important.” Xie Lian stated, keeping his face firmly planted in his beloved’s chest.

Hua Cheng sighed in concession and moved his arm to fully wrap around the small of Xie Lian’s back.

“Alright gege, this San Lang will wait for you for as long as it takes,” Hua Cheng responded.

Xie Lian removed his face from where it was planted on his San Lang’s chest and then moved around to where he was wrapping his legs around his beloved’s waist and burying his face in his shoulder. All he wanted was to be closer to his husband, to pretend for just a moment that it was truly only him and his beloved in this world. To be frank he also lamented leaving his beloved to go to a meeting, but if he did not leave this time, he may never attend a meeting again.

It was sweet to be with his husband, like the decadent fruit ripening under the light rays of the sun, the feeling that lights up one’s soul with warmth and love.

“We will be doing something tonight though…” Hua Cheng’s sultry voice rung out next to his ear.

“San Lang!”

The next morning Xie Lian woke up curled up next to his beloved San Lang. The red faux sunlight of Ghost City was streaming through the windows of Paradise Manor as Xie Lian worked to keep his eyes pried open. It used to be easy to wake up right at sunrise and stay awake until he deemed it necessary to sleep -or his body would pass out from exhaustion, same thing really. Though now that San Lang had come into his life once more, he found himself having a harder time waking up fully in the morning, perfectly content staying wrapped in his husband’s arms forever.

Xie Lian began to slowly untangle himself from the mess of limbs that was him and his beloved, knowing that he would have to ascend to Heaven soon. Once he felt his feet touch the floor, he let out a breath of relief, for his husband was still sleeping soundlessly in his thin red inner robes. Xie Lian began to snake his arms out from the pile, his left arm escaping his husband’s affection easily, but when he was just about to be successful and pull his right hand free, a small groan was heard from the bed.

“Hmmm… gege? Where are you going?” Hua Cheng asked, his voice laced with sleep.

Xie Lian couldn’t help but let out a small breath of laughter.

“I have to go to Heaven San Lang, go back to sleep my beloved,” Xie Lian practically cooed. Though now, it seemed Hua Cheng had already begun to let go of his precious sleep in favor of needlessly doting on his husband.

“At least let this one make gege some breakfast first.” Hua Cheng offered, sitting up in the bed and moving his shoulder blades backwards to stretch. Xie Lian simply smiled at him; the view of his husband waking up was one that was bittersweet -mainly because it was Xie Lian who woke him from his precious slumber.

“But San Lang…”

“Gege needs to eat something before he leaves.” Hua Cheng said in a tone that seemed indisputable.

Xie Lian just sighed in concession and waited for his husband to prepare to leave their bedroom before walking with his beloved to the kitchen. Even though Xie Lian was not cooking, he still liked to watch his husband as he cooked so diligently. When he was nothing but a spoiled prince, he would have been completely fine being on the other side of the palace as the cooks worked in the kitchen. But now, now that he and his husband cook with each other so often, now that he appreciated any moment spent with his beloved, simply watching him dance around the kitchen was enjoyable.

Hua Cheng began by pulling out some fruit and chopping it for his beloved -lychee, pears, longan, anything his beloved had seemed to like before, he would make available. Next, he began to gather the ingredients for some nice, steamed buns. It may not seem like a lot of food -especially when it was food for his beloved, his prince, his god- but Xie Lian had gone centuries without eating on a regular basis. Even with the help of Hua Cheng, it was still hard for him to stomach a lot of food in the morning.

Xie Lian found himself leaning his head against his hand as he watched his husband almost dance around the kitchen. He could care less about the food, and instead all about how wonderful his husband was, how beautiful his husband was, how kind, how caring. San Lang is truly his everything just as he is his.

Their breakfast went by in comfortable silence only occasionally interrupted by an “Eat some of this gege” and an “Okay San Lang”. It was only after Xie Lian ate most of the breakfast that Hua Cheng made that he decided it was time to go.

“Thank you for all of this San Lang,” Xie Lian said, getting up from his chair and bringing his dish to the small bucket of water to clean the dishes.

“You don’t need to thank me gege, eating with my beloved is thanks enough.” Hua Cheng replied as smoothly as ever, bringing some plates with him as he stood up to join Xie Lian.

With practiced ease, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng began working on cleaning the small number of dishes together, while Ruoye was helping to set them back on the shelf. The three of them were able to clean all the dishes relatively quickly, of course taking moments of reprieve for Xie Lian and Hua Cheng to stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before breaking out into a small fit of laughter. And maybe, just maybe, Xie Lian caught Hua Cheng washing a dish and then put it back in the water to wash again, only for the sake of extending their time together. And maybe, just maybe, Xie Lian never called him out for it.

Yet, all banquets must come to an end, and no matter how many plates Hua Cheng rewashed, their dishwashing time came to a close. Xie Lian moved away from the bucket and began to fix his robes, ensuring they would stay on properly and with a meticulous level of formality. Then, he grabbed Fang Xin, which was leaning against the wall, and called Ruoye to wrap around his wrist with practiced ease. Hua Cheng watched him do this with the same amount of rapt attention that his husband always seemed to have for him and gazed fondly as Xie Lian made his way in front of him, reaching out his hand to push some stray hair out of Hua Cheng’s face.

“Thank you for breakfast San Lang, I promise to come back as soon as I can.” Xie Lian said as he leaned in just a bit closer to gently kiss his husband. Hua Cheng leaned into the kiss and fervently wrapped his arms around Xie Lian’s waist, startling him ever so slightly.

“I’ll be waiting, gege.” Hua Cheng said, pulling away for only a moment before kissing his husband once again.

After a few more moments of their tender kiss, Xie Lian pulled away, his lips red and his breath a bit heavy as he smiled adoringly at his husband.

“I love you San Lang,” Xie Lian stated, slightly maneuvering his way towards the door.

“I love you too, gege.” Hua Cheng responded, watching as his beloved rolled his pair of handcrafted crimson dice and disappeared from view.

The Heavens were as opulent as ever. After the defeat of Jun Wu, everything had to be rebuilt; grand palaces, walkways, libraries, all came with new designs, new additions, and newly untapped amounts of luxury that even Xie Lian could barely fathom. The gold and jade shown through the Heavens like a piercing knife, causing Xie Lian to squint as his eyes readjusted to the brightness. The Heavens were so, irrevocably, different than Paradise Manor that it almost gave him whiplash.

Now in the Heavens there was one building that felt almost out of place to a god who had seen Heaven eight hundred years prior. It was a large marble building with jade pillars and gold accenting along its parameters, and it was truly as gaudy on the inside as it seemed on the outside. This was the newly established meeting room for the heavenly officials, a building deemed necessary after the defeat of Jun Wu and during the rebuilding -and re-establishment of any kind of order- of the Heavens.

Originally the Heavens were rushing to try to establish a new heavenly emperor, and Xie Lian, now being one of the strongest martial gods in Heaven, was one of their first options. However, Xie Lian vehemently despised the idea, the mere thought of running another kingdom again made his blood freeze in his veins. An argument could be made about his status in Ghost City, as he was now Hua Cheng’s husband -and the ghosts’ grand uncle- but at least the residents were already dead. He could only destroy so much.

So, the Heavens reached a consensus to put the title of heavenly emperor on the side as they then established another system of decision making. Every few weeks there would be a meeting held to discuss current affairs and make decisions on what were usually miniscule topics such as changes in domains and assigning deities for the officials to investigate. And even though Xie Lian denounced the idea of being the heavenly emperor, it could truly not be helped that many officials still looked to him to help with the decisions -or breaking up Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s fights, though they were certainly more well behaved than they were in the past.

Once Xie Lian reached the steps to the building, he took a deep breath to steady himself for what was to come. This was not one of their usually scheduled meetings, this was instead specifically requested by Ling Wen, and one could only imagine what would compel her enough to bring so many officials together. As Xie Lian stepped through the large, decorated doors, he was met with the large red sandalwood table surrounded by dozens of fanciful chairs that seated the esteemed heavenly officials that were asked to meet. In the array of people Xie Lian was able to spot Feng Xin and Mu Qing, both well-spaced from each other to -hopefully- prevent any conflict between the two. Xie Lian’s position at the table was close to where the presenter stood, almost acting as the head of the table without actually being so.

Seeing as most of the heavenly officials were already seated and waiting for the meeting to begin, Xie Lian decided to join them and sit respectfully in his seat, keeping his posture as dignified as it used to be when he was a prince. After a few minutes of waiting, and the last of the requested gods filling their spots around the table, Ling Wen entered holding around six different scrolls and looking as drained as she usually did when dealing with Heaven’s affairs. Yet her steps were as precise as they always were, always commanding the respect she deserved.

“Everyone, hello, let’s begin.” Ling Wen stated, her words succinct as she placed down one of her many scrolls.

“First things first, there has been a reported group of ghosts that have been terrorizing people on the northern road between Pei Ming and Quan Yizhen’s territory. At least one of them is reportedly a wrath and the others seem to be menaces, they have seemingly been attacking anyone who walks by them on the path, and they have already killed two merchants who were passing through. Pei Ming, I trust that you will be able to handle this?” Ling Wen looked expectantly at Pei Ming who simply nodded his head and smirked in response.

“Of course, as if there would even be a problem,” Pei Ming replied.

Ling Wen responded by looking as unimpressed with him as ever and continuing on by laying down two more scrolls, each with heavy amounts of writing.

“Wonderful, next, there is a mountain north of Lang Qianqiu’s territory that has been recently experiencing a blizzard that has now reportedly been lasting for a month. There is only one small village at the bottom of the mountain and the snow has been impacting their trade routes and has stopped any travelling merchants from passing through to other villages. I’ve already sent some Middle Court officials to investigate, and they reported a barrier surrounding the mountain that needs to be dispelled. But it seems that the heart of the curse on the mountain is at the top where the blizzard is the strongest. Is there anyone who can take care of this as soon as possible?” Ling Wen asked, surveying the group of officials.

Xie Lian took a moment to think about it and was about to stand and offer his help when three gods that were across the table from him stood up instead. The three gods were relatively new to the Heavens, all martial gods who were generals in their mortal lives. They exuded a very superficial level of intimidation that didn’t really seem to impact any of the gods in the meeting room but surely would make any mortal wary of them. What might have been the worst thing about them though, was that Xie Lian could absolutely not remember their names for the life of him.

“We would be more than willing to assist, thank you for this opportunity.” One of them said, slightly lowering his head in appreciation and inspiring the other two to do the same.

The action brought a smile to Xie Lian’s face, he remembered a time like that, where he was so eager to assist people with his newfound godhood and impress the gods around him by being the young and powerful prince that he was to the people of Xianle. He would accept any mission given to him, answer as many prayers as he could, and personally greet any heavenly official he came across. His old antics still make him feel quite bittersweet, but it was admittedly a happily nostalgic feeling that came over him when he saw the newest generation do the same things he used to.

Well, maybe not all the same things. He hoped that the new generations would be smarter than he was, more levelheaded than he was, better than he was.

“Thank you, I’ll give you all the full report once the meeting is over.” Ling Wen replied, picking the scrolls up again and this time laying down the next three, signaling some heavenly officials to lean over slightly to read what they said.

“The last thing I wanted to discuss with you all today, the reason this meeting was as urgent as it was, is because I am reopening the investigation into Silver Ash Amongst Flower.” Ling Wen stated.

At that, the entire meeting room became eerily silent. Everyone seemed quite nonplussed about the sudden decision, and that stunned them into silence. But it seemed to only stun them for a second before the room erupted into rampant conversations.

“We haven’t heard anything about this calamity in centuries, are we sure they haven’t dispersed yet?”

“What’s the point in investigating something that has not had any significance for centuries?”

“Why bring this up now?”

“I heard they killed a heavenly official before even becoming a calamity, is it really in our best interest to investigate someone who obviously does not want to be found?”

“Everyone.” Ling Wen’s voice sounded above all the noise in the room despite not being louder than the others. She stared at the crowd of heavenly officials with absolute certainty, a serious look in her eyes as she seemed to tower above the group.

“Yes, I am aware there has not been an update about Silver Ash Amongst Flower in a while. However, after all that has occurred because of Jun Wu and his role as Bai Wuxiang,” Ling Wen’s eyes silently made their way to Xie Lian before turning back to the general crowd, “it would be in all our best interests to at least know their motives.”

“But if we have not even heard of this calamity in centuries, then isn’t it likely that they have already dispersed by now?” Mu Qing asked, speaking up and straightening his posture as he did so.

“We should only assume that they dispersed if we have evidence of it. And so far, we don’t have any sort of information other than when the calamity exited the Kiln. We should refrain from making any assumptions about this until we can get legitimate evidence.” Ling Wen steadily replied, watching with full seriousness and Mu Qing remained silent.

“These,” Ling Wen moved her hand to present the scrolls that she had laid out on the table, “contain the only information that we have on this calamity so far, there are recounts from the day they exited the Kiln as well as folk stories and mentions of this calamity in the mortal realm.

“Going forward, if any of you hear reports on a being such as the one described I expect you all to investigate immediately. Also, if any of you have heard a rumor about Silver Ash Amongst Flower, please write it in a report and give it to me as soon as possible, any information is valuable.” Ling Wen stated, taking a breath and watching as different gods began to skim over the scrolls laid on the table.

After a few moments went by, Xie Lian stood up as well to get a better look at the scrolls, his mind cloudy like a storming summer night as he did so. He had not heard about Silver Ash Amongst Flower in decades, not even a rumor had been passed to him even after years of wandering. People only revered the tale of the sickeningly powerful calamity as a folk story, one to tell children who stayed up too late or played outside in the dark for too long, if even that anymore.

But if the calamity had not been found in centuries, there was little chance that they would be found now, even with all of Heaven being launched into the investigation. Everything would remain as it always had, he would return home from the meeting, see his San Lang, go for a walk to the flower patch he had found, they would return home, and he would make dinner. And eventually, this new investigation will also cease after no new information turns up for another couple of decades, and it will be forgotten about all the same.

The scrolls themselves held little information on the calamity’s appearance, the chestnut brown hair and dark robes were always notable, but what really distinguished this calamity from all the rest was the gleaming silver mask that adorned their face. The appearance of the mask itself differed from tale to tale, some say it was embellished with the same flowers that the calamity appeared to be able to summon, some say the mask could transform into the ash that surrounded the calamity. But to those who were there, who saw this being with their own eyes, they would know it was a decently simplistic mask, one that was not determined to attract attention to anything besides its very existence.

It quite matched the calamity from that standpoint.

After many gods flitted around the detailed scrolls, they slowly began to filter out of the meeting hall, their richly adorned robes fluttering behind them as they chatted with each other about every topic one could imagine. The noise made Xie Lian wince slightly, moving around crowds was something he had to get used to after centuries of busking in busy market squares and collecting whatever scraps he could find through the crowded streets. But occasionally, the amount of noise was still a bit jarring after spending so many years traveling between villages in desolate isolation.

Xie Lian tried to mentally block out the cacophony around him as he continued to read the scrolls. There were apparently rumors of the calamity leaving behind ashes and flowers in its wake on mountainous roads, scaring merchants and travelers mercilessly. Some said the calamity represented misfortune, bringing bad luck -fallen trees blocking travel routes, houses that had their roofs collapse only a few days after the flowers were found- while others said that the calamity brought good fortune. Some claimed that the calamity was a malicious being who was merciless and killed everyone they came across, leading them to have no witnesses and keeping their existence as minimal as possible. While others claimed that the calamity was a benevolent being, who roamed the world in lonesome to simply exist and assist any hurt travelers or people in need along the way.

The scrolls went on like this invariably, every accusation had a constant contradiction to the point where it would have been better to say this calamity did not exist at all. Xie Lian sighed and reached his hand up to attempt to sooth the furrow forming between his brow, truly this information could barely be of any help to anyone, let alone trying to decipher what accusations were even somewhat truthful.

After what he deemed to be a long enough time staring at the scrolls, Xie Lian began to follow the other gods as more and more left the meeting hall. His white robes fluttered behind him as he walked with poise from the gilded room to the lavish streets of Heaven, squinting his eyes a bit as the golden hues streamed through the area, basking it in light. Xie Lian could not help but smile to himself as he walked the streets to his palace; he never really liked being there, even stepping foot in the place granted him a slight bit of nausea. But he found that it was the best place to quickly roll his dice and transport himself right back into his San Lang’s loving arms. Maybe for dinner he should make some stew, the villagers did gift them a hefty amount of vegetables, and San Lang said that the next time he cooked stew he would teach him how to perfectly salt the water, giving him one less thing to ruin.

As Xie Lian continued walking down marble roads and meticulously curated scenery, he could not help but let his thoughts wander off towards his beloved. The mere thought of him made his heart flutter in joy, it was so nice to look forward to seeing some, to have someone look forward to seeing him. To have someone to hold in the mornings and talk about every little aspect of life with until there was nothing left to be said besides how much they cherished one another.

Soon though, Xie Lian was able to hear a pair of footsteps approaching him; he languidly turned around to come face to face with the two people he most expected to see: Mu Qing and Feng Xin. The pair were donned in their usual dark robes embroidered with gold accents and accentuating their role as martial gods. For once, they did not approach him halfway through an argument, but it did seem like it would boil over into one soon enough.

Mu Qing had his arms crossed in front of him as he greeted Xie Lian and prompted Feng Xin to do the same. Xie Lian gladly returned the greeting and paused his own steps to let the pair stand in front of him to talk.

Mu Qing began to slowly shake his head as he spoke, his brow furrowed and his eyes squinting in annoyance.

“I can’t believe Ling Wen wants to reopen that investigation. We searched for a century and still found a total of jack shit on that ghost.” Mu Qing started off strong, granting Feng Xin to look at him with his head slightly tilted but ultimately sighed and looked at Xie Lian with a newfound level of defeat in his eyes.

“As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. It’s been so long since even a rumor was heard on Silver Ash Amongst Flower that whoever they are, they have probably already dispersed. It’s not normal to hear absolutely no word of a calamity after they break free from the Kiln. Even Black Water at least announced his presence before hiding away. If it weren’t for the fact that we were there when Silver Ash Amongst Flower escaped the Kiln, I don’t think I would believe they were even real.” Feng Xin stated with a certain level of exasperation escaping his tone.

Xie Lian tried to contain his surprise at Feng Xin’s admittance. It took him a lot longer than he would have preferred to get his tongue, which felt like lead in his mouth, to form what he hoped would be a cohesive question.

“Really?”

That was as good as anything he supposed.

“Yeah, but we could barely see what they looked like, those ashes did a damn good job of covering them, though that fucking mask shone through everything. The whole damn situation was strange, and then not seeing them again was even more unusual.” Mu Qing responded, looking towards Feng Xin who nodded in agreement and then turned back to Xie Lian, who looked at him with a slight amount of daze.

“It is very strange,” Xie Lian could feel as his throat slightly closed up, almost choking him in the middle of his sentence, “were either of you able to figure out more information on Silver Ash Amongst Flower while the investigations were going on?”

“Besides the fact that they traveled around a lot, not much. Sometimes people would report small white flowers covered in ashes along trails and such, but nothing ever came from those reports either. Why do you want to know?” Mu Qing answered, never once uncrossing his arms as he spoke.

“Speak nicer to His Highness, he’s allowed to ask you questions you know! You’re not all that high and mighty!” Feng Xin yelled, quickly escalating an argument that was absolutely unneeded.

“I wasn’t being rude Feng Xin! I was just asking him a damn question!” Mu Qing yelled back.

Xie Lian could not help but stifle a laugh at their antics, while simultaneously pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, truly things never changed with those two.

“You-”

“Feng Xin, it’s okay, Mu Qing just wanted to know why I asked a question, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.” Xie Lian quickly placated both of them, hoping to spare himself the headache -and for that matter the property damage- that came from their arguments.

“Anyways, I just wanted to know because I wanted to help out a bit with the case, maybe see if anyone in Puqi village has any information, that’s all.” Xie Lian replied, a graceful smile plastered on his face as his teeth hurt from clenching them so hard while spitting out his words.

His answer seemed to satisfy both of his companions and suddenly the trio were thrust into an awkward bout of silence. It was harder now, Xie Lian knew that, it was harder now to have a conversation with the two of them. There was so much to talk about, so much Xie Lian dreaded to talk about, and so he didn’t. But it was not like back then, when he would rant on and on to the two for what felt like forever, emphatically talking about swords or whatever came to his mind. Back when he was a spoiled prince of a prospering kingdom, back when it was easy to say that Mu Qing and Feng Xin were his friends, where there was nothing in existence that would able to break apart their friendship, back when his parents were still alive.

“San Lang is probably waiting for me at home, I hope you both will join me for lunch sometime?” Xie Lian finally said, breaking the silence as he began to slowly step towards his palace door.

“Uh, yeah that sounds nice, lunch sounds nice.” Feng Xin answered, nodding his head as if that could shake away the way that the conversation was now blanketed in a series of awkward pauses.

Mu Qing, on the other hand, seemed to scowl at the very moment Hua Cheng’s name was mentioned. Xie Lian had been working hard to get his old friends and his husband to get along; the success of these attempts though, was pretty miniscule.

Xie Lian simply laughed and said his goodbyes, nodding his head gently at both of his friends -the formality his Guoshi had instilled in him never truly left. He watched as his two friends gently turned their backs to him, their powerful robes fluttering through the air as they took each step with the poise they were also taught alongside Xie Lian. Everything was different now, and yet nothing truly was.

Xie Lian let out a sigh, his chestnut brown hair slightly falling over his shoulder as he leaned his downward to collect his thoughts. A moment passed as his eyes gently shut and opened again, his dark lashes fluttering as he steadied himself once more. Maybe it was in his best interest to leave Heaven as soon as possible.

Xie Lian could barely stand to spare a look at the palace that felt more like a shell of a memory than the warm feeling of a home he once had. He still had places to call home though, he had to remind himself often, Paradise Manor, Puqi Shrine, these were his new homes. These were the places where his San Lang was with him, not some empty palace filled with treasures lost to time long ago.

With a quick roll of beautiful crimson dice amongst the gold and wooden door, a shimmering spiritual array appeared before his eyes, and he found himself stepping through with little hesitation.

As the wonderful red hues of Paradise Manor manifested before his eyes, Xie Lian felt his shoulders ease in their tension, something he did not realize he had been holding on to for so long. In front of him stood his and Hua Cheng’s bedroom, the deep red hues that colored the walls almost seemed to call him to the large bed surrounded by the thin red curtains and decorated with white and red silken sheets.

Xie Lian allowed his eyes to continue a gentle sweep of the bedroom, everything had remained in the same place as when he had left, beautifully arranged as if the objects themselves were giddy with his arrival. Xie Lian only let out a breathy laugh to himself though, knowing that it could have only been his beloved San Lang who would have made sure everything was perfect once Xie Lian returned home.

The warm atmosphere of the bed almost screamed in his ears for attention as it caught his eyes once again. The bed had to be one of his favorite prospects of the room, it held the dark wooden headboard that he and his San Lang would spend many night simply talking about their days, staring at each other’s eyes under the dark night sky as small beams of soft light radiated through the covered windows. It was covered in the softest sheets he had slept in in centuries, sheets that his beloved would gently cover him with as he moved to rest his head on his chest in the middle of the night. And it eased him into a state of reminiscence of all the times he had spent cuddled against his San Lang, held through times of happiness or grief, through dreams or nightmares.

Soon, Xie Lian found himself smiling at the memories of his San Lang. He slowly began walking over to the bed, he knew subconsciously that it was too early to even think of sleeping, but at moments like this his San Lang would do nothing but encourage him to get extra rest. His San Lang was always like that, always amenable to whatever Xie Lian wanted, and always urging him to do the things he needed.

On the table next to the bed there was a steaming bowl of soup and a small note.

Of course, Xie Lian thought to himself, of course San Lang made lunch. Xie Lian smiled to himself as he sat on the covers of the bed and picked up the soup. He did not usually eat in bed so casually, his Guoshi would have a heart attack if he saw him now, but his San Lang always encouraged him -forced him, even- to be comfortable. The soup smelled heavenly, the taste of cabbage lightly running over his taste buds in the soothing demeanor it always had. It was one of the reasons Xie Lian liked it so much. Cabbage soup was simple, with a light saltiness to it and a hearty flavor spread throughout. It was a nice meal that Xie Lian could only dream of when he was on the road, but now, his San Lang assured him that he would have to dream no longer and that he would make it for him as much as he wanted.

After a few spoonful’s of soup, with both his heart and stomach filled with the warmth of never ending love, Xie Lian reached for the carefully folded note by the bedside.

Dear Gege,

There was a problem at the Gambler’s Den that I had to quickly attend to. Whenever you come back home let me know and I will be at your side in an instant.

Love,

San Lang

Xie Lian could not decide whether to laugh or cry at the poor quality of his husband’s calligraphy. They of course practiced his calligraphy in Qiandeng Temple whenever they could, but their calligraphy sessions would often get cut short by the prospect of other activities. It had improved a bit, Xie Lian will admit that, but it was still at a level where it was practically unreadable, or at least made people look at it with complete contempt.

Xie Lian stopped to think over the contents of the note for a second. Occasionally after a mission he would travel to the Gambler’s Den himself to see his husband seated so regally on the divan and with the comforting muted bustle of the crowd around them. This past trip to Heaven, while quite dramatic, was not particularly draining enough to warrant an afternoon of relaxation. Plus, he had promised his husband a walk afterwards to spend some quiet time with each other; if Hua Cheng had been surrounded by the raucousness of the Gambler’s Den all day, he may prefer some peace and quiet.

With his mind made up, Xie Lian rose off the bed and stretched out his arms a bit over his head, feeling his silken robes gently travel down his arms. Then, he quickly tried to dust off his robes, still wanting to look his best when around his beloved. He could feel his heart trembling with excitement over the thought of his beloved as he rose his fingers to his temple and carefully recited the mortifying password for Hua Cheng’s communication array.

“Hello San Lang, I’m back from the meeting! Is everything alright at the Gambler’s Den?” Xie Lian said through the communication array.

“Hi gege, everything is alright now, it was only a few ghosts thinking they could buy themselves out of paying for their bets. I’ll be there soon, beloved.” Hua Cheng replied, his voice leaving Xie Lian with a permanent smile on his face as he lowered his fingers from his temple languidly.

Standing still for a moment, Xie Lian felt himself lose sight of the bedroom around him in favor of thinking back to the meeting. The Heavens were reopening the case of Silver Ash Amongst Flower, an investigation he had only heard about in passing during his time in the mortal realm. Even the name of Silver Ash Amongst Flower was nearly forgotten, so surely there was no reason to reopen the case unless new information had been discovered. Was there new information that was so impactful that it made Ling Wen reopen the case? Or was it truly just a matter of ensuring that the calamity would not pose a threat to the newly rebuilt Heavens? What if-

“Guess who?”

A pair of strong arms, decorated in gleaming crimson robes, slid around Xie Lian’s waist from behind, brining him close to the broad chest that he had laid upon dozens of times.

“San Lang!” Xie Lian felt a smile creep up his face as he forced his mind to stop thinking of the meeting and instead only focus on the present moment with his beloved husband.

Xie Lian turned around in the hold that Hua Cheng had him in until he could wrap his arms around the back of his beloved, lightly shoving his face into the crook of his husband’s neck.

The pair stayed together like that for many moments, simply reveling in the presence of the other as Xie Lian felt any lingering tension leave as he was surrounded by the unconditional adoration of his beloved. But as much as he would love to spend eternity in the arms of his San Lang, all banquets must come to an end.

Xie Lian unclasped his arms from his beloved, but to compensate for the loss, he lifted his head to give a feather light kiss to his husband’s cheek. Soon after, he felt Hua Cheng arms also return to his side as he caught a glance of an adoring stare from his husband.

“I’m glad gege is back, this San Lang missed his husband dearly.” Hua Cheng said, a sly smile rising on his face.

Xie Lian caught his stare and felt like cutting his own heart out and serving it on a silver platter to his beloved San Lang, his sweet, adoring husband.

“This one is happy to be back too, I missed my husband more than anything in the world.” Xie Lian responded, he loved to use the same affectionate language that Hua Cheng tended to use when talking to him, internally cheering at the light flush of pink on his husband’s cheeks.

“Does gege still want to go for the walk he mentioned?” Hua Cheng asked, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly with the question.

Xie Lian knew he could say no if he wanted, that was what was special about his San Lang, it did not really matter what they did or where they were, as long as they were near each other that was good enough for them. But Xie Lian had a special place in mind, a surprise for his beloved that he could barely keep to himself anymore, and he could not possibly wait to show him.

“I do San Lang, there is something special I want to show you.” At this point, Xie Lian did not think he could possibly stop smiling, being around his husband tended to do that.

“Gege has a surprise for me? Well, this one would love to see it gege, lead the way.” Hua Cheng responded, reaching out his right hand for Xie Lian to clasp in his own as he used his other hand to fish out the crimson dice from his sleeve. Then, Xie Lian lightly rolled the dice to the door of their bedroom, and hand in hand, the couple walked out of Paradise Manor and into the spiritual array.

The spiritual array had taken them to the light wooden door of Puqi Shrine, where Xie Lian stopped for only a second before leading the pair down the grassy hill.

At the bottom of the hill, beside the wide dirt pathway that led to the village, was a large forest of bright green trees, soaking up the energy of the warm spring sun. Xie Lian looked around the trees, until one with a small scratch on the bark appeared before his eyes. He had made sure to mark the tree that began the small path through the woods that he attempted to clear of limbs and tall weeds for his husband and himself to walk through. It was an old habit from when he was left alone to travel, he would mark his pathway whenever he lost himself so, if need be, he could find a way back or attempt to map out whatever region he had found himself in. And while he did not need that particular habit to travel now, it still came in handy.

The pair began walking through the woods together, grass and leaves bending under their feet as they languidly walked with passion. Xie Lian could not help but raise his eyes and steal a glance at his beloved, only to find him already looking at him, and began to chuckle at the situation. Truly, they could not even bear a moment without looking at each other in adoration.

“Gege, how was the meeting?” Hua Cheng asked, still keeping the walking pace beside his husband.

“It was alright San Lang, a couple of missions were handed out to people, truly nothing too different than usual.” Xie Lian responded, hoping to leave the conversation of the meeting there and continue on with the lovely trek into the woods.

“Really? What about the investigation of Silver Ash Amongst Flower?” Hua Cheng asked, a strange mix of questioning and love in his shining eye. Of course Hua Cheng already knew what happened during the meeting; he tended to want to know anything exceptionally important in the Heavens, but more importantly, he wanted to make sure Xie Lian was alright. Xie Lian had not had anyone care about him to that extent in centuries, and no matter how much Hua Cheng doted on him, he could never bring himself to feel anything other than unconditional love at his husband’s antics.

“So, San Lang already knows what happened at the meeting.” Xie Lian stated, sparing a knowing glance at his husband accompanied by a small amount of slyness in his smile.

“Ah, you caught me gege,” Hua Cheng joked, smiling at his beloved as he gently squeezed his hand, “but what does gege think about them reopening the investigation?”

“Ah, I don’t know San Lang, I admire Ling Wen for wanting to open it again, especially for the protection of the Heavens but…”

“But it might be fruitless. Investigating a calamity that has not appeared in centuries.”

“Exactly, what does San Lang think about it?”

Hua Cheng tilted his head at the question, a slight gesture that almost made Xie Lian laugh with how many times his husband seemed to do it, and he raised his hand to cup his jaw in thought.

“Well, I feel the same as gege does. However, I don’t think Silver Ash Amongst Flower dispersed.” Hua Cheng replied.

“Really? Why is that San Lang?” Xie Lian questioned, the death of the calamity seemed to be the prevailing theory amongst the three realms, as it was also the most believable one.

“A calamity does not disperse so easily, especially not after gaining the power from the Kiln. Although I guess if they truly wanted to, they could spread their own ashes. But then why enter the Kiln in the first place? It would not make much sense if they just dispersed after gaining the power of a calamity.” Hua Cheng explained as Xie Lian nodded his head in understanding.

“You make a good point San Lang.” Xie Lian responded, letting the conversation drift off into a comfortable silence as the light sounds of the woods surrounded the couple. But there was still something that he wanted to know, something he needed to ask, the what if still in the front of his mind. So, while his tongue once again felt like lead in his mouth and his head began to thrum with anxiety, he spoke once more.

“What does San Lang know about Silver Ash Amongst Flower?”

Hua Cheng seemed to really think about it for a moment, his eye looking towards the sky for a moment before landing right back on Xie Lian’s shining golden eyes.

“I only really know as much as anyone else does. Silver Ash Amongst Flower has never appeared in Ghost City and has never contacted me or He Xuan before. I have seen the ash coated flowers on trails before though, while I was searching for Dianxia in the mortal realm, but other than that, nothing else.” Hua Cheng replied.

Xie Lian could almost sigh in relief, he did not need his husband to know anything more about this calamity, especially nothing that could… nothing that could reveal who they truly were. With this new confirmation, Xie Lian was content with the conversation moving on to something else once more, and he was just about to allude to his surprise at the end of the walk when Hua Cheng spoke out instead.

“What about gege?” Hua Cheng’s eyes seemed to stare deeper into Xie Lian’s than normal, or maybe that was just his mind playing tricks on him. Xie Lian quietly squeezed his husband’s hand to disguise the trembling of his own.

“What does gege know about Silver Ash Amongst Flower?”

Chapter Text

Blood.

That was all Xie Lian could feel, all he could smell, all he could taste.

Blood coated every inch of his body, dried, coagulated, the only fresh blood being the small amounts that his body could still form that flowed from the gaping wound in his chest, pathetically trying to spill more as he jostled the harsh splinters digging their way into his heart. Where there was not blood, there was still pain, there were still wounds, his fingers ground down to the bone from scratching, and scratching, his head cracked from banging, thrashing. A corpse covered in nothing more than blood and wounds. A corpse that could never be a corpse at all.

Blood was all he smell, that and the overwhelming stench of rot that he could barely stand to acknowledge. When normal corpses lay in coffins, they eventually begin to rot until they are nothing but bones. But Xie Lian was not a normal corpse, he was not just a corpse rotting in a coffin, he was alive, he was a person. He was alive rotting in a coffin. He was rotting, his chest was rotting, his organs were rotting, he breathed rot, he smelled rot. He was rotting. Someone, anyone, he is rotting.

Blood was all he could taste. His stomach had been left without any nutrients for so long it resorted to showing its discontent by forcing Xie Lian to throw up anything that could be left inside it. Stomach acid would burn his throat as he sputtered and gagged around what could no longer even be considered vomit. He felt like he was dying, he did die. He died again, and again, and again, and again. But he could never truly die, could he? His shackle that wrapped around his throat prevented death in the loosest extent of the word, he could still die but it would never stick. He would always wake back up again. He would always open his eyes once more.

He did not want to wake back up again.

There was light glaring down at him.

He groaned in pain as the light blinded his senses, he did not want the light, it hurt him. Everything hurt him. He could slowly feel as different senses came back to him, he could feel something under his back that was not… it was not normal. What was normal? Why wasn’t the present normal?

He heard something whine in pain.

What was whining?

He could not see, the light was too bright.

Everything was too much.

What was whining?

Why won’t it stop?

He cried out in pain… Oh, it was him, wasn’t it?

He was crying.

Close your mouth.

He tried to close his mouth, what he thought was his mouth at least, everything seemed frazzled, like wading through static. A murky puddle of tar he could not escape. Why couldn’t he escape? What was wrong with him?

Xie Lian what is wrong with you?

That was his name, wasn’t it? He was Xie Lian. He did not want to be Xie Lian, not with.. not with everything that happened.

Just put me back in the coffin…

No.

No no no no no no.

Don’t put him back in the coffin, please, he did not mean it.

He wanted to exist, don’t make him go back.

Don’t make him go back, don’t make him go back.

The light was gone.

The next time Xie Lian opened his eyes he was immediately struck on his cheek. It did not hurt per say, but he did feel himself tense in surprise. This time, the light was less blinding, and he felt like he could actually somewhat see. But there was only a blanket of gray.

He was hit in the face again.

This time Xie Lian could hear himself yelp in surprise.

Whatever had hit his face left with it a cooling sensation as it continued to lightly travel down his cheek. He tried to put his eyes into focus and could barely see tiny refractions of light dancing quickly in the gray blanket. And oh. It was raining.

Xie Lian’s mind felt giddy with this knowledge, though he did not fully understand why. What was so important about rain?

He only got his answer when he felt another raindrop hit the top of his bottom lip and fill the line of his lips with its cooling effect. It was water.

The rain was water, and he had no water, he wanted water.

He pried his jaw open to the best of his ability, the dried blood around it acting like rust around a door hinge. But everything was worth it when he felt a few drops of rain fall into his mouth and down his throat. He almost relished in the relief of the feeling of finally having something to drink for the first time in… well… he did not quite know but he knew instinctively that it must have been a long time. The moment though, the wonderful, joyous moment, was shadowed by the violent cough that rang through him as he tried to remember how to swallow. His body trembled and he could feel blood rising up his throat because he had once again jostled the stake still struck through his chest.

As Xie Lian began to compose himself after the coughing fit, he was soon able to regain enough movement to be able to swallow. Xie Lian felt as his eyelids slowly fluttered shut, letting himself drown in the rainwater falling around him and live in a small moment of reprieve from the world. He really did not want to think, he had nothing but time to think in the coffin, and now he was out. He was out of the coffin. How was he out? How did he escape?

He felt himself sigh, no, actually, he could feel himself breath. Was he not breathing before? Was he only breathing now? How close was he to dying again?

When would he die next?

…

Thwack

Xie Lian startled as something that definitely was not rainwater tapped his cheek. But he found himself too tired to care. He just wanted to enjoy the rain.

Thwack

It happened again and Xie Lian only groaned in response. Didn’t whatever was tapping his cheek see that he wanted to be left alone? Why wouldn’t it just let him enjoy the rain?

Thwack

This time, Xie Lian opened his eyes with a level of ferocity that he had not felt in a while. Just leave him alone!

Suddenly, a small white silk appeared in front of Xie Lian’s face, tapping his cheek again. Well, the silk had been white at some point, now it flitted around covered in layers of grime and blood. Xie Lian probably looked the same.

He felt himself grimace at the silk band desperately trying to get his attention. He wanted to sooth it, to let it know he was okay.

Ruoye, his mind supplied, to let Ruoye know you are okay.

“R-Ruo…ye,” Xie Lian whispered, his voice was still rough from his time in solitude, but thankfully the rain seemed to be alleviating the worst of it.

Ruoye twisted in response, obviously happy at the acknowledgement, and flitted around Xie Lians body, trying to decipher what wounds to wrap first.

There were just too many.

Xie Lian tried to slightly lift his hand to caress the fretting silk, and while it did lift a couple of inches off the ground, his muscles were too atrophied enough to lift it to the bandage.

Ruoye seemed to notice the movement and made its way to burrow in Xie Lian’s hand, making him let out a short breath that was meant to be a laugh.

Xie Lian moved his head back to stare at the sky and slowly felt as his eyes drifted shut. He really did not want to go to sleep again, he knew it would upset Ruoye if he did. But he was just so tired he hoped that the silk band would understand. He would have to make it up to it later.

But for now, his eyes drifted shut as his mind was plunged into the sweet embrace of darkness.

The next time Xie Lian opened his eyes he could feel more. He could feel his limbs again, as they laid limply on the ground around him, and the static on his brain seemed to clear up again. He was starting to feel normal again, whatever normal was outside the coffin. And he could almost cry at the thought until another presence made itself known behind the wall of static that he had passed through. The stake was still embedded through his chest.

Xie Lian cried out in pain as he quickly sat up, the stake was too much, everything was too much again. There was so much pain, he did not want the pain. Why won’t it go away?

Xie Lian wrapped his hands around the stake; he did not care about splinters or blood, he wanted it out. Out of the corner of his eye he could see as Ruoye was stirred by his movements, the tip of it began to dart around while the rest of the silk band was tight around Xie Lian’s stomach, most likely trying to staunch any wounds that were there. But Xie Lian could not feel any other wounds, he could only feel the stake and he did not want to feel it at all.

The splinters were driving wood into his already damaged hands, the stake was breaking apart under his hold, but he did not care.

He wanted it out.

He began to lift the stake, his muscles spasming as he used whatever energy he had to lift.

He wanted it out.

Blood began to pour from the wound, further dampening the stake and risking it breaking off inside his chest.

He wanted it out.

His heart twitched as the stake began to pass through it again, angering the parts that had already healed around it.

He wanted it out.

The stake was breaking apart, his hands twitched as more splinters dug into them, as the muscles of his fingers trembled with the pressure, as his heart was punctured over, and over, and over again.

He wanted it out.

The stake was only halfway out of his body before it broke apart, splintering off into his chest. Xie Lian cried out in torment, his hands falling back to his sides as his abdominal muscles struggled to keep himself in a sitting position.

He wanted it out.

Why wasn’t it out?

Xie Lian lifted his hands one last time and furiously dug into the hole in his chest, throwing bits of bloodied wood on the ground.

There were pieces of his heart.

Xie Lian did not care, he wanted to stake out, he would get the stake out. It did not matter what mounds of flesh stood in the way. His skin was bloodied and red, the hole only opening more and more. He began to heave blood and splinters as his lungs were continuously punctured, both by the wood and his own hands.

But he kept clawing.

He wanted it out.

Ruoye, in pure desperation, began to wrap around Xie Lian’s hands. It didn’t want Xie Lian to hurt himself anymore, it knew that he was only making things worse. But it was obvious to it that Xie Lian did not see that.

Xie Lian struggled against the silk band, cries of let me go at the edge of his lips as he garbled out a phrase close to it through all the blood clogging his throat.

He wanted it out.

Why wouldn’t Ruoye let him get it out?

He wanted it out.

He wanted it out.

He wanted-

One month later.

Xie Lian rested at the edge of a stream he found a couple of days ago. It flowed uninhibitedly over smoothed over stones and around the small minnows that danced in the stream. Xie Lian sighed as he gripped the ground with his nails and pulled himself forward towards the stream. His legs had begun to work again, but after so many years of disuse they would fold after a few steps.

He felt pathetic.

But he needed water.

His nails were barely regrown themselves, having been ripped off from his desperate clawing at the coffin lid. But he needed to move, he needed water.

He needed to be a person again.

After a few more grueling pulls forward, Xie Lian reached the stream, breathing a sigh of relief as he did so.

“Ruoye.”

The silk band responded to Xie Lian’s call almost instantly, darting out of his sleeve with an exceptional amount of speed and plunging into the water. Just like Xie Lian, the silk band had not been washed for some time, and it remained covered in drying rot from the coffin.

Xie Lian laughed a bit as the band swirled happily in the water, causing numerous amounts of ripples and splashes that managed to land right on Xie Lian. But the silk band did not care much at all, it just wanted to be clean.

Xie Lian moved around awkwardly to get his legs in front of the water before plunging his legs in, the cold water sending a bit of a shock up his spine as he did so. Xie Lian shuddered for a second, taking a moment to try and get used to the water before plunging the rest of his body, still fully clothed, into the stream. As the cold desperately punched the air out of his lungs, he tried to focus his mind and his breathing to stay calm and collected. He needed to be cleaned; it was as simple as that.

He needed to be rid of the rot.

Of his rot.

He knew that his robes were barely salvageable, they were crinkling in some places and damp in others because of the filth that had thoroughly weaved its way through every thread. And Xie Lian would gladly pray to any being that would listen for new robes, no matter how stained or threadbare they were.

Anything would be better than stewing in the rotting parts of himself.

But unfortunately for Xie Lian, no matter how many times he cried, he screamed, he begged in the coffin, no one answered his prayers. Why would they answer them now?

So, he decided to move on with the next best thing, soaking them in the water with him and hoping for them to get clean.

He kindly ignored that they were so engrossed with filth that they had clung to his skin.

After a few moments of wading through the clear stream, Xie Lian dunked his head under the water. His hair was so matted that he doubted it would miraculously get untangled from just one dip in the water, he would most likely have to wait another century and constantly try to brush it out before it even tried to resemble what it used to. By the would wait, he always did.

Xie Lian began to slightly ruffle the belt of his robes that still stuck to him, hoping that the water would give at least some assistance in breaking his robes away from his skin. As he continued to ruffle and slightly pull away the clothing, the water seemed to fill the gaps between and slightly ease the fabric off him. Maybe his luck was not all that bad after all!

Xie Lian first focused on easing the robes away from the skin on his arms and shoulders, then he followed his shoulders to his collar bone, and then down his sternum until he reached his chest. It had been some time since his… less than ideal removal of the stake, the hole that had once completely engorged his chest had now mostly healed up, granted it still bled and still had easy access the outer layers of flesh that surrounded his heart. But at least it had healed at all!

His fingers slightly trembled as they tried to pry the mottled clothing off the outsides of the wound, he dug his fingertips as far as they could go before the cloth stopped moving. Xie Lian began to try his old method of slightly ruffling the fabric to get the waters assistance, and it seemed like there had been more progress made! So, Xie Lian began to carefully lift the stuck fabric again, adding more and more strength as the cloth still refused to budge off his healing skin until he was able to rip it off the wound. He would have been joyous at this new accomplishment, and he really did want to be, if not for the layer of skin that came with it.

Xie Lian gasped in pain before abandoning the robes that pooled around his waist in an effort to collect himself. The wound now sluggishly bled once more, and Xie Lian almost felt like crying. He really wanted to be done bleeding. He really wanted to be done with everything, actually.

Well look at how that turned out last time.

Ruoye seemed to sense his distress before swimming in the water like a hungry carp until it reached Xie Lian’s chest and promptly wrapped itself around the wound. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the bandage’s antics, it had looked so happy to be clean and now it was dirtying itself with his blood once more.

“Ruoye, it’s alright, you don’t have to worry,” Xie Lian said as he lightly stroked the silk band, hoping to coax it to unwind from his chest. But Ruoye, as much as it wanted to make Xie Lian happy, was quite stubborn and refused to unravel.

Xie Lian could only sigh with a grand level of fondness as he then directed his attention to the robes that were now pooled at his waist. There should not be any more places on him with any wounds that were too serious, so it really should be a breeze to pull the rest of his robes off. With a newfound sense of determination, Xie Lian bent over in the water and shimmied off the rest of his robes into the clear stream. One they were fully off; he laid them halfway in the grass on the bank of the stream and halfway submerged in the water. That way, he could focus on washing himself while the clothes were lightly being cleaned by the running water, it was really just a little trick he learned from the years of wandering before becoming Lang Qianqiu’s guoshi and then… the coffin.

It was truly a useful way to clean his clothes!

In the absence of soap, something he would have to try to buy the next time he collected scraps, he resorted to just using his hands to scrub the filth off of him. It honestly took him longer than expected, his skin was so engrossed in the rot from the coffin he did not know if he would be able to get it all off in one sitting, he even had to take breaks to breath in between.

That never used to happen, he always had great lungs.

But not breathing oxygen for decades changed that.

Everything has changed.

After around two incense time of washing off, Xie Lian was finally pleased with his work. The grime had almost completely been washed away, of course this was after a heavy amount of time mercilessly scrubbing away, but still, Xie Lian was not one to take for granted finally feeling clean after years of not.

Next, Xie Lian turned his attention to his robes. He did not exactly have a replacement for them, so whatever he could scrub off today would do him wonders in the long run. Of course, before he could get his hands on another pair and promptly burn these.

He started with the inner robes that seemed to be the most atrocious, barely looking like robes and more like blood-stained rags at this point. But it was no matter, Xie Lian truly had all the time in the world.

He wished he didn’t, why did he have to keep living?

Xie Lian gripped his inner robes in one hand and with the other he searched the edge of the stream for a smoothed stone, something to help him scrub off the filth. After a couple of minutes of searching he found the perfect one, it was big enough to fit into his hand nicely while also being porous enough to easily scrape off any coagulated grime. So, with one hand grasping the stone and the other tightly gripping his robes, he began to carefully scrub it under the running water. He didn’t want to put too much pressure on it, for fear of it going threadbare, but he could occasionally feel himself stumble through the water and end up scrubbing just a bit too hard. But a couple of loose threads shouldn’t be a problem, after all he had survived worse.

He wishes he had not.

After Xie Lian finished scrubbing his inner robes to where they were barely considered presentable, he moved his attention towards his outer robes still on the shoreline. They also looked quite gruesome, albeit a bit less coagulated than his inner robes, that at least gave him some hope. Maybe all was not lost.

Xie Lian waded through the water with his newly cleaned inner robes in hand, ready to grab his other robes and begin the cleaning process once again. However, after a couple of steps Xie Lian began to feel his legs begin to grow numb from underneath him. He had half a mind to yell for Ruoye to latch on to something or to brace for the impact, but instead he simply let himself collapse in the water.

The water was cold as it rushed past his head, forcing his body to move along with its demanding current. And Xie Lian simply let it take him. He couldn’t drown, he knew that at least, if the coffin didn’t kill him then this would not either. So, what was the point in fighting back? Maybe if he just closed his eyes…

As much as Xie Lian was willing to accept wherever the current carried him, Ruoye did not feel the same. The silk band shot out of the water at breakneck speeds, twisting through the air and wrapping itself around a tree near the shoreline. Quickly, the silk band slackened to keep Xie Lian in place under the water than it slowly began to shrink once more to lift him out of the water.

Once Xie Lian’s head was above the rippling water, he spluttered for breath. He did not even remember inhaling the water of the stream, but he did not remember much of his moments underwater anyways, only that now was out of the water.

Just like the coffin.

No, no he could still remember some moments from his time in the coffin. He can remember the desperation, the continuous banging on the walls and scraping his fingers to the bone. He remembers the yelling and the praying. But mainly, he remembers the pain, even now it’s still an aching throb that sends him into the throes of grieving agony.

So yes, he can remember the coffin.

Xie Lian made his way -mainly by Ruoye pulling him- to the shoreline where he climbed back up onto the land. Xie Lian lay down on the weeds and continued to cough up the dirt-tasting water, moving on his right side to heave more effectively. Ruoye unwrapped itself from the tree and began to flit around him, lightly tapping his back in an effort to help him expel the water from his lungs. Xie Lian’s lips quirked upwards from the silk band’s efforts.

He still needed to clean his robes, but now the world was fading around him.

When was the last time he ate? When was the last time he slept?

When was the last time he was human?

Unconsciousness stole him away before he could even blink.

It had been three months since Xie Lian left the coffin, and he was exhausted. He never really acknowledged how tired he was, it would only make him more tired to think about it. But this time, he was truly, unavoidably tired. He had not eaten an actual meal in months, having been wandering through the forests looking for civilization tended to not grant him such luxuries. Sometimes he would find some berries which nine times out of ten would be inedible or poisonous - not that he would die from the poison, but uncontrollably convulsing from poison entering the blood stream was not much fun. But he would throw up the berries eventually, starvation would do that to him, it was quite funny in its own sense, how he could be so awfully starving and still his body refused to grant him peace and expelled whatever was left in his stomach.

With the starvation came the exhaustion. He had nowhere to rest most nights, and whenever he found somewhere to stay his notorious misfortune infected the world around him and led to an even worse outcome. If he dared rest in a cavern there would be wolves hiding out there as well, if he rested against a tree a lightning storm would ravage the night and strike the tree perfectly where it would crush him underneath, and if he even tried to just pass out on a bed of moss he would wake to find himself halfway buried in the soil giving out beneath him. And if he tried to sleep like any normal person would and close his eyes as the night covered the land around him, he would more than often wake himself screaming from terrors that he would forget the moment he opened his eyes. But they ensured he would not close them again.

Which all leads to now, with Xie Lian stumbling through the forest, barely able to walk as his legs tremble from both strain and exhaustion. His vision is blurred because of the hunger, and he can barely hear anything past the blood rushing through his ears. He may have been concussed at some point, but he could barely remember anything from the past few days -and that was probably a sign wasn’t it.

His only hope now though, is the lights gently shining in the distance, a hopeful reprieve from the harsh reality of the forest. If he could just reach some form of civilization, he could hopefully find somewhere less earthen to stay and hopefully even get some form of unpoisoned food.

With every step he took it felt like his lungs were being squeezed inside his chest, like he would just fall apart if he was not desperately trying to keep himself in one piece. Like a broken ceramic haphazardly glued together. But the hope of actually seeing other people almost made him feel giddy, it made his heart beat wildly in his chest with its newfound feeling of joy -which only really made it hurt more. There was hope after all.

As Xie Lian approached the lights he noticed two things, one: he had entered a village, a old and quaint village at that, and two: the lights were for brightening the area around the stalls of what was most likely a night market. Even though Xie Lian was very excited to see people, being stuck in a crowd of people in the condition he was in only made his breath quicken with nerves. The people attending the night market were bustling about, children laughing and playing with their friends as parents bought them sweets and couples walked hand in hand, speaking with confident voices how much they loved each other and trying to win a rigged game to impress their partner. It was… nice seeing people be so lively, so happy. But it also made Xie Lian feel completely disconnected, these were mortals who knew they would eventually die and they lived as happy as they could be to appreciate the time they were alive. But Xie Lian had no death to look forward too, he had no one to be happy for, he had nothing to stay on this earth for. He so desperately wanted to be like the people around him that it almost made him sick.

Xie Lian took a deep breath -well more of a wheeze- before he began his search for some form of housing. As he walked down the streets people would stare at him awkwardly and that only made him more self-conscious. He had not looked at himself in months, but he knew that he must be covered in dirt and grime from his time wandering. He just hoped he did not look too unpleasant.

After a bit of time walking past the bustling stalls, many selling dishes that made his mouth water, he approached a three-story building with a lovely small sign in the front proclaiming it as an inn of some family’s name that his vision was too blurry to read. When Xie Lian approached the door to the inn, he straightened his posture and tried his best to wipe off some dirt off his robes, wanting to look at least a little more presentable so he had a better chance of not getting kicked out of the inn.

As the door to the inn opened a small bell at the entrance jingled, alerting the two innkeepers behind a desk towards the back of the entryway of Xie Lian’s presence. The inside of the inn was quite nice, with nicely cleaned wooden flooring and a few low tables for people to sit at. The was a door that led to a back room to the right of the front desk and to the right was a large wooden staircase that led to the floor above. To the left of the entry room was an open doorway that connected to a room with sparkling tables set with dishes that were currently being enjoyed by the residents. Xie Lian strode over -trying to cover up his limp in the process- and made his way to the front desk where the two innkeepers looked at him with varying levels of scrutiny in their gazes.

One of the innkeepers was a young woman with black hair tied back in a bun and kind brown eyes that smiled at Xie Lian. The other keeper was an older man with thick gray hair and a very stern expression as he looked Xie Lian up and down.

The woman was the first to begin speaking, her hands clasped in front of her as she gave Xie Lian a welcoming smile.

“Welcome to the Su Family Inn! My name is Su Lifen, how can I help you today?” Su Lifen asked, looking only slightly wary at Xie Lian but overall welcoming, which Xie Lian greatly appreciated.

“Um, thank you, can I request a room please? I don’t have the money to pay for it, but I am willing to pay by labor.” Xie Lian responded, hoping that they would accept, even if it was just for one night.

The woman's, Su Lifen’s,  eyes gave a hint of concern as she studied his figure once again.

“Um… gongzi… would you like some bandages first?”

Xie Lian stood there dumbfounded for just a few seconds before the pieces clicked in his mind. His robes were filthy, covered in dirt, but most importantly they were covered in blood! No wonder Su Lifen looked so worried, he probably looked like he had just barely escaped death -which he had, but that wasn’t something he could explain.

“Oh um… thank you for the offer, but I’m a part of a traveling performance group, this is just a costume, no need to be worried.” Xie Lian lied through his teeth with a kind smile on his face. He really did not like lying but at times like this it was necessary, there would be no way that they would let him stay if they knew the barest truth of the matter.

The two innkeepers seemed to visibly relax at Xie Lian’s words, they both sighed in relief and now the man that stood next to Su Lifen seemed a little less tense at Xie Lian’s presence.

“Of you are truly a part of a performance group then how do you not have any money for a room?” The man next to Su Lifen asked, earning him a gawking expression from Su Lifen.

“A-die! You cannot ask people that! It’s rude!” Su Lifen exclaimed, quickly trying to diffuse the situation. “Gongzi I-”

“It’s okay, really, it’s a good question to ask. When the group and I were on the road, we were robbed by a group on the road to here. We all split up to find some shelter and we planned to meet back up again once we made some money. That’s all,” Xie Lian responded with a smiling face. Truly the man’s question was a good one, but it was fortunate for Xie Lian that he was so good at making up backstories.

“Oh… Oh! I am so sorry that’s awful! I apologize for my A-Die, he shouldn’t have asked you that! We will gladly accept your offer; we’ve had some rather rough weather recently and an extra pair of hands would be great!” Su Lifen exclaimed, apologetically bowing repeatedly.

Xie Lian quickly put his hands up in front of himself to hopefully convince the woman to stop bowing, frantically waving them to gain her attention.

“Really, it’s alright! Thank you so much for allowing me to stay here.” Xie Lian responded as he gave a polite bow to both Su Lifen and her father.

Xie Lian could hardly describe how elated he was to have a real place to stay for the first time in centuries. Maybe he could finally be okay.

It took four days for him to be kicked out of the village.

Xie Lian should have expected this, really, misfortune followed him like a restless shadow, always appearing in the worst of times. In the beginning of his stay in the village, some townsfolk were already a bit wary of him, which he could understand, many of them had probably seen him walk into town covered in his grime-coated robes and had suspicions about this stranger.

Before Xie Lian had even begun to help the village with their work, his misfortune was already rearing its ugly head. The owners of the inn had given him white robes for the time being, especially as he used his well-worn title of daozhang. And only a few moments after he put on the robes, he tripped and scuffed the clean fabric. Xie Lian bowed profusely with apologies to Su Lifen who simply laughed him off and promised him that once these robes were dirtied she would give him new ones. She was truly kind, it was refreshing in a way, a display of kindness he had not seen in centuries.

Xie Lian stoked the fire that night with his bloodied clothes, watching them burn and imagining that his ever-dying corpse burned with them.

No matter how much Xie Lian wanted to fit in in the village, wearing his soft gray robes and helping out the townsfolk, there was a reason why he should have stayed out.

The same reason why he should have stayed out of Xianle.

When he tried to work on the houses, the ones that had already befallen themselves with such terrible luck, his own misfortune ensured that no good was accomplished. Nails would stick into his heels with every unobserved step that he took, blood seeping down his feet. But he could just wave it off, wrap Ruoye carefully around his foot, and continue on with helping the village.

The first home ended in flames.

Wooden beams went up in smoke, fire churned whatever furniture remained in the house, destroyed whatever they could have possibly salvaged from the first incident. The family cried in front of the flames as they watched their lives destroyed once more, and Xie Lian stood beside them, nausea racking his form as he pondered just how much of this was his fault. As if it could not have been.

The second time Xie Lian helped the village it was tending to a small patch of rice fields. The farmer had grown older in age and could no longer stay outside in the scorching sun for the same amount of time that he used to be able to. So, Xie Lian donned his veiled hat and went out to the rice patties to spend his day melting in the sun. At first the elderly farmer was supremely grateful for Xie Lian’s help, even offering him some chilled fruits for his hard work – which he quickly accepted. Yet, after he spent his day working in the fields, when he was sitting in the inn eating a small meal given to him by Su Lifen, a man, heaving breaths ran into the inn to report that half of the field had been trampled by a fallen tree. Xie Lian ran out of the inn, followed by the inn owners and soon by a horde of townsfolk, and eventually reached the now dilapidated fields. The crowd whispered around, some whispers were of mourning, some were of worry for the profitability of the next year’s harvest.

And yet Xie Lian stood there through it all, guilt knawing away at his heart.

The third day Xie Lian stayed in the inn, helping the owners with house cleaning. Xie Lian spent his day casually sweeping the floors and preparing the beds for other guests. It was calming in a way, giving others comfort that he was never able to give them in the past – even if that comfort was only from a comfortable place to rest. After fluffing the pillows for one of the rooms, Xie Lian opened a window and took a deep breath of fresh air. The only reason why he stayed in the hotel was truly because he was nervous of leaving the residence again. Maybe his misfortune needed a day to cool down but no matter how long it took, Xie Lian would keep himself in peaceful solitude for as long as it took for his curse to calm itself. Because being alone with some hope of returning to the common folk he held so dear was better than the true solitude he had known.

At dinner that night, a communal dinner that Su Lifen insisted on hosting to welcome Xie Lian to the village, Xie Lian locked eyes with Su Lifen's father, who seemed to be staring at him as he ate.

"Is... everything alright?" Xie Lian asked, a placating smile gracing his lips.

"Yeah, listen, thank... you, for helping, as much as you did." The inn keeper responded, staring Xie Lian down a little bit more and then looking away.

Xie Lian could not help but feel a bit giddy inside, even through all the misfortune he has caused, maybe he has done some good after all. Maybe this would all have been worth it, maybe he still made someone else happy, and that could be enough.

It would always be enough.

Except when it wasn't.

Don’t you hate them, just a little bit? Xianle, don’t you despise them?

The next morning, when Xie Lian awoke, it was to a dagger pointed at his throat and a mob crowding his room. It took a minute for Xie Lian’s eyes to clear enough to see the scene in front of him, barely choking on his surprise as the dagger reached closer to his throat. The one holding the weapon was Su Lifen, her face stricken with hot, shining tears and her lips pulled tight into a barely menacing expression as her bottom lip trembled in grief.

“You-” she spat, choking down a sob as she continued, “what have we done to deserve this, to deserve you. You have brought us nothing but misfortune everything you have touched, everything you have done, has only damned us more. What did we do to deserve a demon like you.

“My father is dead, my father, who allowed you to stay here, who fed you and gave you jobs. All he wanted to do was help you, why, why, WHY IS HE DEAD!”

Xie Lian stared, his breath catching in his throat as he truly took in the situation, feeling Ruoye slithering up his arm from where it rested. And watching as tears streamed down Su Lifen’s face. The more she cried the more angered the crowd seemed to become and they too began to yell at him with their conspiracies on how he has damned the village with his presence.

“Wait, please, I can explain-” Xie Lian started.

“Explain what? Yes, we had some mishaps before you came here but we did not have the constant stream of misfortune until you arrived. What have you done to us? Why have you done this? Why…”

Xie Lian felt like he was dying again, like all the air had left his lungs, turning him into dust, turning him into nothing. What had he done? What had he done to this village, why did he think he could build a home here?

Why did he think he wouldn't hurt people?

Why did you expect anything different Xianle?

When will you learn?

Xie Lian slithered out of the bed himself, he needed to get of here, he needed to get out of here, he needed, he needed-

Xie Lian opened the window and jumped out into the dark night, landing on the ground outside the hotel with a thud. He felt ragged, he felt disgusting, he felt like he was worth nothing, that he should simply give up and bury himself in the ground like he once was. He had hurt the common folk that he had promised to protect. How could he ever forgive himself?

“He’s right here!”

Xie Lian was pulled out of his tumultuous mind at the sound of hurried footsteps on the thick grass and his attention was thrust upon a large crowd that already seemed to swarm him. The crowd consisted of other townsfolk, some he recognized from the mob following Su Lifen, whilst others he had seen along the busy roads of the town.

“Do you really think you could leave after all that you have caused?”

“YEAH!"

The crowd almost seemed to rile themselves up, as if Xie Lian’s presence wasn’t even needed.

But he still could not help but feel nothing but guilt, guilt for what he had done, guilt for what he had caused, guilt for his existence. He really needed to leave. Xie Lian knew that talking to the crowd would not do anything to mediate the situation, instead he started to back away slowly, trying his best to placate their fears and then turn and run as fast as he can.

But it only took a single step for the townsfolk to immediately snap their attention back to him, directing all their anger like a tidal wave.

“And where do you think you’re going?” A voice called from the crowd.

Suddenly two pairs of hands came from behind Xie Lian and grabbed his wrists tightly, while another pair seemed to tie something to keep them bound together.

“The only way to expel resentment is by fire, and you will not be terrorizing this village anymore.”

Xie Lian’s eyes bugged out of his skull as he began to shift in his captors hold, he really did not want to hurt the towns people any further, but the thought of another death, especially one by fire… he just… he wouldn’t be able to take it.

Just as Xie Lian’s eyes caught sight of the bright glowing orange of maddened flames, a crash sounded against his skull and the world darkened around him as the heat began to lick at his skin.

Xie Lian woke in small phases.

The first time he awoke, he awoke to certain agony. The air around him felt stagnant, he did not even fell like a person, there was no feeling, there was no body¸there was only agony, there was only torture. He opened his mouth, or he tried to, where was his mouth? Where was he? Why? Why? Why? He could not scream.

When Xie Lian woke a second time, he could at least feel that he had a body, he could feel his muscles slowly piecing themselves together again, how the skin on his face stretched to cover muscles and fat, and how his nerves fought themselves to continue the feeling of burning. Every single second he felt like he was surrounded by that fire again. It was a fire he could not remember, a death he could barely piece together, like a petal falling in the wind, he had no certainty. All he was certain of was that he had died.

All he was certain of was the darkness overtaking him again.

One month later.

Xie Lian stumbled through the forests once again, with a new level of apathy filling his lungs and drowning him every day. Ruoye, his only friend, the only thing that has stayed by his side through it all, seemed excited to lead him through the forest. He had almost begun to wonder if it had found something, maybe it had found something good like water, or maybe even a small shelter. But Xie Lian would not hope anymore, he really didn’t think he could. He just kept on dying, there was barely even a point to stopping it anymore, he would die again, and again, and again. And there would be absolutely nothing he could do to stop it so what was the point in trying, on extending a life that would ultimately end anyway.

But it could never truly end, could it?

Every small life that he lived would cause him to die again, and again, and again.

Maybe he would prefer being dead more than being alive. Because at least when he was dead, there was nothing to feel, there was nothing at all, he was nothing.

And maybe he liked it that way.

It only took one stray root that had slithered out of the ground to cause Xie Lian to stumble. It was honestly hilarious if he thought about it, the Crown Prince of Xianle, a twice ascended god, bested by a root. It was hilarious, it was amazing, it was so incredibly depressing.

Ruoye sensed his fall and tried to reach out to grab him but gravity seemed to take its toll, the path they were on was slightly elevated from the rest of the slightly sloped ground below, and Xie Lian’s fall seemed to be the last of his balance as he ungraciously tumbled down through the forest.

Xie Lian simply closed his eyes and let the tumble take its toll, he could feel as his limbs caught on trees, as his head banged against rocks, he may have been bleeding, but frankly he did not really care to check.

After the tumble ceased, Xie Lian laid limply on the ground, there was no point in getting up again, he supposed. He might as well let the blood loss just take its toll, because he would only feel worse if he forced his broken body to stand.

“Oh my- are you okay?”

The sudden voice next to him caused Xie Lian to shoot up into a seated position, his vision blurring out from the sudden movement and a groan escaping his lips as his head throbbed.

“Of course he’s not alright, none of us are alright.”

Another voice sounded and was roughly followed by a hand grasping his arm to prop him up. Ruoye seemed to speed past and if the sudden lack of support was anything to go by, it had driven away whoever had found him.

“Ruoye… it’s alright… I’m okay,” Xie Lian knew that his words were slurred but it seemed that Ruoye got the message and then sadly wrapped around his arm. It might have made Xie Lian laugh at the silk band’s apparent pouting, if not for the throbbing pain and drowning apathy.

“You’re pretty new huh, still got some fresh blood on you, it’s alright, we all had to start somewhere.”

At this, Xie Lian really tried to focus his vision on his new… acquaintances?

There were three of them in total, all wearing pretty decent clothes, one of them had the head of a spider while another was… holding their arm completely detached from their body, the third one in the group, a woman with shoulder length black hair, seemed to be the most human of the group if not for her pale blue-tinted skin.

Oh

“Would you like to join us for right now, you might need some people to help you out right? Being dead is pretty rough at first but you’ll get used to it, oh come on, what’s the harm?” The woman said, sticking out her hand to nudge Xie Lian along with the group.

He had never really met any ghosts that were so… friendly and he would admit that the sudden offer startled him a little.

“Listen, I know you really want another group member Ming-jie, but you shouldn’t force this guy to join, you didn’t even ask him if he knows what’s going on. Assuming this type of shit is how you’re going to get the crap kicked out of you one day.” The guy with the spider head said, a level of exasperation in his tone that made him sound like at any moment he would be the one to kick the crap out of her.

“Well we could always use other group member, better be safe than sorry right? And it’s not like I see you trying to help in any way.” The girl, Ming-jie, stated, turning her back to the guy with the spider head and right back to Xie Lian.

“C’mon!” She exclaimed and grabbed Xie Lian’s hand to start walking.

At this point, Xie Lian was quite content with letting himself get dragged around, and besides their argument was only making the pounding in his head worse so if he could get them to shut up¸ it would be worth it.

Ruoye, however, did not seem quite as content with this idea and incessantly began to tap his forearm, Xie Lian groaned and tried to grab to bandage, but his movements were so slurred that Ruoye was able to escape his messy grip with ease. Maybe the silk band had a point though, the least he could do was find out where exactly he was being dragged to.

“Where… where are we going?” Xie Lian asked.

“Ah he speaks!” Ming-jie exclaimed, “And you must be really new then huh? I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t know, we’re going to Mount Tonglu.”

…

Mount Tonglu?