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Darry woke up on his twenty-first birthday and immediately wished he would fall back asleep until January 6.
One year. It had been one year since his parents died.
He covered his face with his hands and groaned. Soda and Pony hadn’t brought up at all this week what day it was about to be. He wondered if they’d forgotten altogether. He hoped they had. He didn’t want that cloud of melancholy over his house. He wanted it to be a normal Friday. If no one acknowledged what day it was, then he could pretend everything was okay.
But history repeated itself, or so people said. An atmosphere of terror latched itself around his chest. What if today went terribly wrong again? What if this time, something happened to one of his brothers?
The thought made him feel like he was choking. No. He would ensure that they were safe today. It didn’t matter how much bad luck came with today. With him. He couldn’t lose a brother, too.
He remembered waking up last year to his brothers bouncing on the bed, his parents singing at the door. Everything had been normal and exciting that morning. His entire life had fallen apart by that evening.
It was quiet this morning. Maybe his brothers really had forgotten. Or maybe they wanted to ignore what day it was, like him. That was just fine with Darry. To be honest, the last thing Darry wanted was to have his birthday celebrated. It felt disrespectful to his parents’ memory.
He got up for his morning cup of coffee, only to find that Soda had already made it and had an egg breakfast sitting out for him. He was at the table, eating his own food. When he saw Darry, he beamed, and it was as if he had the sun itself in that smile of his. “Happy birthday, Dar.”
“Thanks,” Darry murmured, curses rolling through his mind. Sodapop had remembered. That meant he also knew the rest of what this awful day meant.
As Darry sat down with coffee, Soda’s smile melted away. “You don’t look happy about it. Look, twenty-one don’t make you look too old, I promise.”
Darry forced himself to grin a little at the joke. “Yeah, yeah, I’m turning into a wrinkly monster, I know.”
Soda’s face returned to its usual pleasant demeanor. “I know it’s a Friday, and we both got work and Pony’s got school, but we’ll make an extra chocolate cake tonight.”
“Two? Glory, Soda, you’re gonna give everyone a stomachache. Especially Two-Bit. He won’t be able to help himself.”
Soda shrugged. “We have a cake all the time. The only way to make it extra special is to have two cakes.”
Darry didn’t want anything special, but he didn’t have the heart to tell Soda. Maybe he could just talk him out of it tonight.
Pony soon joined them, also wishing Darry a happy birthday. Unlike Soda, his smile looked a little forced, but he was clearly trying to hide that fact.
The three of them got ready for their days, and before Darry knew what was happening, Soda was heading out the door. “Where are you going?” he demanded.
Soda looked back at him, confused. “To work?”
Darry shook his head. “No, I’m driving you. Give me five minutes.”
“Okay?”
They drove to work together a lot, but not all the time. Sometimes, Soda just preferred walking. But Darry wasn’t letting either of his brothers out of his sight more than he needed to today. “Ponyboy, be ready to go in five minutes,” he added.
Pony poked his head out of the bathroom and looked at him strangely, his hair half-greased. “Five minutes? But then I’ll get to school too early. It only takes ten minutes to walk anyway.”
“Just a half hour early,” Darry said. “You’ll survive. Bring a book or extra homework to work on.”
“Darry, what’s gotten into you?” Soda asked. “Just let him walk to school. It’s not even icy today.”
Darry sighed. Of course, they didn’t get it. Then, he thought that wasn’t fair to think of them. He didn’t want them to worry about today like he did. “Fine,” he said through gritted teeth.
The rest of the day felt normal enough. Work slowed down for Darry in the winter, but luckily, there had still been projects recently. No one knew it was his birthday. No one knew his parents had died exactly one year ago.
Good. He didn’t know what he’d say if his coworkers tried to express their condolences or pity.
When he got home, Pony and Soda were already there. He let out the breath he had been holding practically all day. They were fine. Completely safe. They were working on dinner—beef stew, by the smell of it, Darry’s favorite—but they seemed to be having a serious conversation.
They looked his way when he came through the door. “Oh, good, you’re back,” Soda said. “Have a seat, dinner’s almost ready.” He ladled the soup into bowls, and Pony helped bring them to the table.
“Two-Bit and Steve are comin’ over tonight,” Pony said, taking his seat. “But first, Soda and I were talkin’ about visitin’ Mama and Dad. Just for a little bit.”
Darry felt his heart break. Of course, that was what they wanted to do today. In all honesty, he wanted to as well. But no way in hell was he letting them get in a vehicle that was going over the tracks tonight.
This was a bad day. January 5 was nothing but bad luck for the Curtises. If he took his eyes off his brothers for a moment, they could be taken from him, too.
Why did it have to be today? It just drove home the fact that it was all his fault. He would not have Pony or Soda’s death on his conscience, too. It would destroy him.
“Get your coats on after dinner, then,” Darry said. “We’re walkin’.”
“Walkin’?” Soda repeated. “But the cemetery is two miles away. It’s too cold out for that.”
“No truck,” Darry said. “Not this evening.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Pony. “The truck’s fine.”
“It is. We’re just takin’ no risks tonight.” Darry took a bite and hissed. The stew was still too hot. “The cemetery is over the tracks. Takin’ the truck just feels like askin’ for somethin’ to go wrong.” He didn’t normally have a problem driving over the tracks. But today felt different.
It dawned on his brothers at the same time. Shock struck their faces, then… was that pity?
Soda got up and put a hand on Darry’s arm. He looked like he was staring at a hurt puppy. “Dar, it ain’t gonna happen. And I know… today isn’t just the anniversary. It’s your day, too. And that was a coincidence, Darry. A fluke. We aren’t temptin’ fate, we’re just drivin’ across town. We know to be careful, always.” He sighed. “But if it makes ya’ feel better, we can walk. I don’t really mind. But then we’re gonna do somethin’ for you afterward. I wanna celebrate you today.”
“Nah,” Darry whispered, trying to hold his emotions back. He remembered how excited he used to get for his birthday as a child. His parents waking him up and singing to him, coming home to the scent of baking cake, getting ridiculous presents from his brothers. It would never feel that way again. There was no such thing as a happy birthday for him anymore. He’d rather just forget it was his birthday altogether. “This day is to remember them. They’re the ones gone. I’m still here.”
“That’s right,” Soda said, shaking him a little. “You’re still here. So you get to appreciate it when we remember it’s your day.” Soda smiled, and Darry was shocked to realize it was genuine. “I love today. I hate that somethin’ really awful happened on it last year, but I ain’t never gonna stop lovin’ today. It’s the day I got the best older brother I could’ve ever asked for. If that ain’t worth celebratin’, I don’t know what is.”
“Oh, Soda.” Darry stood and wrapped him in his arms, unable to help himself. What would he do without Sodapop? From behind, he felt Pony wrap around him.
Both of them. What would he do without both of them?
He heard a sniffle, and, in shock, he realized it was his own. His brothers held him tighter, pretending not to notice.
“We love you, Darry,” Sodapop said. “But we can’t put our lives on hold just because tragedy might happen. We know better than anyone how precious time is.”
When they finished dinner, Darry came up with a compromise. “We can drive most of the way there. But right before we get to the tracks, we’re walkin’ the rest of the way.”
Soda and Pony agreed that was more than reasonable.
Once they were standing in front of their parent’s shared grave, Soda knelt and put a hand on the stone.
“Sorry we couldn’t bring flowers,” Pony said, sitting beside Soda. “It’s not the right time of year. We’ll bring you some when spring comes around.”
“Darry turned twenty-one today,” Soda said. “I bet you missed singin’ to him, huh? Don’t worry, we’ll do it for you tonight. We’ve been taking care of him real well, and he takes even better care of us, so you can rest easy.”
“We miss you,” Darry added, sitting on his knees between his brothers. He slung his arms around them. “But we’re doin’ fine. I got everythin’ I need right here.”
“I know you’re takin’ care of Johnny, too,” Pony told their parents. “Just like you used to. Tell him hi for us. I hope Dally ain’t botherin’ you all too much.”
Soda and Darry chuckled.
Darry looked at his parents' names, at the dates underneath. The lifetimes that were too short. That January day that would never be quite the same.
Darry once joked that it should’ve been him, then the dates would’ve been full-circle. At the horrified looks on his brothers’ faces, he never made a joke like that again.
Neither Johnny nor Dallas had gotten a gravestone. The gang just hadn’t had the money for it. Nevertheless, Pony had placed two stones at the edge of the cemetery for them, and they were still there. As Pony and Soda went to pay their respects there, Darry said he’d join them in a minute.
Alone, he turned back to his parents’ gravestone. “You know,” he said, “I didn’t think I deserved to be happy today. But I think that would make you upset. Your younger boys sure have it deep in their heads that they’re gonna celebrate me today.” He smiled. “Thanks for raisin’ two great young men. I’m trying my best to finish the job.”
He joined his brothers, greeted Johnny and Dally, and then they left for home.
Darry actually enjoyed himself the rest of the night. He thought he’d dread it, agonizing until it was time to go to bed, but he and the gang stuffed themselves full of chocolate cake, joked around, and reminisced about their favorite past birthdays of Darry’s.
Yes, he’d had one awful, awful birthday. But that had made him almost forget the memories of all the great ones that came before. The one when Soda tried making a cake for the first time but mixed up the salt and sugar. The one when his football team had a game and won. The one when six-year-old Pony had written his own birthday song, just for Darry (it was awful, and he loved it). The one when Two-Bit snuck in for a secret sleepover, even though it was a school night and Mama and Dad had said no.
This one would be one for the books, as well. Darry looked around at Sodapop, Ponyboy, Two-Bit, and Steve as they laughed, tussled, and smeared chocolate cake over their faces. These four people he loved most in the world were here to celebrate him. Darry could hardly understand it, but it felt good. He hadn’t expected to feel good today.
He fell asleep that night with the birthday song still resounding in his head. He had been wrong. How could he be bad luck when he felt like this? Like the luckiest man alive.