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Will stood in the middle of the Hades cabin, worrying at his lip.
Pale moon light filtered through the window, lighting up the room enough to confirm that Will was alone, and Nico was nowhere to be seen.
Nico went on a job for his father last week, and ever since he got back a couple days ago, he’d been acting weird. Then, when he hadn’t showed up to any meals that day, nor seemed to be making an appearance for campfire, Will decided it was time to make sure he was okay.
But he wasn’t in his cabin.
At least there was one more spot Will could check before he started catastrophizing.
He walked outside, careful to close the door quietly before rounding the side of the cabin. Will scaled the wall, using the built in handholds that Nico made for him months prior. Not everyone could shadow travel to hang out on top of roofs like a cool kid.
Once his head popped over the edge, he spotted Nico quickly.
He was near the back of the cabin lying flat on his back, his fingers loosely linked together over his chest. He either hadn’t noticed Will, or was choosing to ignore him.
“Found you,” Will said, with a smile.
Nico’s eyes fluttered, and then darted to Will’s for a second before returning to the sky.
Will refrained from asking if he was okay.
He carefully hauled himself up onto the roof and then made his way over to Nico’s side, laying down next to him. Nico turned his head, eyes wide and shining, silently watching as Will settled.
Once he stopped moving, Will met his gaze and gave him a pinched smile.
“Hey,” Will whispered.
“Hi,” Nico breathed, so quiet that Will almost couldn’t hear it.
He went to reach for Nico’s hand, but stopped when an odd expression twitched onto Nico’s face.
“Is touch okay?” Will asked. Nico shook his head no, almost imperceptibly.
“Okay,” Will said with a smile, making a show of folding his hands together on his stomach. Nico’s expression relaxed. “What’re you doing up here?” Will asked, making sure he didn’t sound accusatory, only curious.
“Thinking,” Nico said, looking back up at the sky.
“About?”
Nico didn’t respond, so Will mirrored him and looked up at the sky.
It was a clear night like usual; the stars were bright and Will took his time tracing the constellations he knew.
After a while of sitting in comfortable silence, Will heard Nico take a breath like he was about to speak.
“When I was trapped in the jar,” Nico started, his voice weak.
Oh.
Will didn’t look over, but Nico had his full attention. Most of what Nico had told him about the jar was in the form of panicked rambles after waking up from a nightmare. He never actually talked about his experience, not like this.
“It felt like forever,” he sighed, like he was making a confession. “The death trance messed with my sense of time, and it was like I was in a never ending nightmare. The only frame of reference I had was when I woke up, and had to eat another pomegranate seed and go through it all again.”
Nico paused, and out of the corner of his eye Will watched him run the sleeve of his hoodie against his cracked lips.
“There were a couple times I–” Nico cut himself off, taking a shaky breath in. “Sometimes I would hope that the next pomegranate seed wouldn’t work. Or my body would just give up. Because then at least it would be over.”
Will’s chest ached.
“But it never happened. I kept eating the seeds and when I got to my last couple, knowing that the others were debating whether or not to even rescue me, all I could feel was relief. It was going to be over soon, and the only thing I had to do was wait a little longer.”
Nico bit down on his knuckle and took another slow, trembling breath.
Will wanted to push it away from his mouth, but Nico let it go, shaking his hand as if to dry it, and then rested it on his chest. Will returned to gazing up at the sky.
“But,” he continued, his voice cracking. “Even if I wasn’t rescued, I don’t think– it wouldn't have been over. Not for me.”
Will’s brows knit together.
“The rest of you–we know what happens when we die. It’s not like mortals who are just guessing, we know what the afterlife is. It’s almost guaranteed that everyone here is going to Elysium. You all have that.”
“And you don’t?” Will asked, his voice soft.
Nico let out a strangled sob in response. A chill ran down Will’s spine at how distraught Nico sounded. He pushed himself up, and took a second to really look at Nico.
The heels of Nico’s palms were pressed against his eyes now, and Will could see his chest heaving with each breath as he tried to suppress his cries. Will hands curled into fists, his nails biting into his palms.
“My father, he–he’s made a few comments, suggesting that when I die he wants me to keep working for him. I–I don’t know whether he means down in the Underworld as a shade, or s–something more, but–” Nico cut himself off with another sob.
He moved his hands from his face, threading his fingers into his hair. Nico's face was twisted with anguish, his eyes pinched shut as he bared his teeth like he was physically biting down his sobs. His entire body was shaking from the effort.
Will swallowed down on barbed wire as his eyes warmed.
“It’s never going to be over for me, is it?” he asked, his words thick with misery.
Stunned, Will couldn’t respond, unable to think of anything to say.
Nico's eyes flew open as he sat up abruptly, one of his hands clutching at the base of his neck as his breaths started to come faster. Too fast. It felt like the air around them dropped in temperature, and Will didn’t think it was the weather.
Nico turned to look at Will, his eyes frantic. “It’s–it’s never going to end,” he stuttered, his voice suddenly ringing with fear. “I’m going to be stuck with this pain, stuck in this body, stuck with my memories, stuck in this life forever and I’ll never get to rest, I’ll never be free–” Nico cut himself off with a strained gasp, running out of breath and unable to get it back.
“Nico, you need to breathe,” Will said, stamping down his own panic at Nico’s distress.
Nico keened, curling into himself by drawing his legs up and hugging them to his chest. He hid his face in his knees, and Will shifted closer, still careful not to touch him.
Will leaned in, speaking softly to coax Nico through breathing, trying not to let his own voice falter at the heart-wrenching, broken noises that were being ripped out of Nico’s chest.
When Nico finally calmed down, it was like all the energy was sapped from his body and he flopped back down onto the cabin roof. His face was completely blank; the usual shine to his eyes was gone, and he stared up at the sky without a hint of recognition.
Will sat next to him, his hands folded in his own lap, picking at the chipped edges of his yellow nail polish. He didn’t know what to do. His brain was desperate, screaming at him so loud to reach out and fix this that it felt like a physical ache in his collarbones, reaching up his neck and down into his hands.
When Nico finally spoke again, his voice was dull.
“I know some mortals believe that there’s nothing. They think that we don’t have souls, and when we die, we go nowhere. We just go to sleep and cease to exist. Forever cast into oblivion.”
Will shifted his attention back to Nico, his hands falling limp.
“That sounds really nice,” Nico whispered, his eyes falling shut. “I wonder if that’s what would happen if I faded into the shadows.”
“Nico,” Will said, unable to stay silent as a wave of fear crashed over him. Nico glanced over at Will like he’d been startled, almost like he’d forgotten he was there.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes wide, his lips twitching into a pout. “I–I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Will choked, shaking his head, “Just–” Will let out a quiet growl of frustration at himself as tears started spilling onto his cheeks, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. “Hearing you say stuff like that is so scary.”
“I’m sorry,” Nico repeated.
Will sniffled, shaking his head and continuing to wipe his face.
“You don’t deserve that, you don’t deserve any of the shit you’ve gone through. You're so important to me, you’re so important to so many people–you’re so strong, and you’re still here–god’s I’m so happy that you’re still here,” Will rambled, as he tried to express the mess of emotions rampaging through his body.
“I don’t want to have to be strong anymore,” Nico whispered, and Will’s heart seized.
He took another moment to get himself under control, taking in a stilted breath before letting one of his hands fall away from his face.
“So let us help you carry the weight. You don’t have to do it all alone anymore; we can be strong for you.” He wiped his face one more time, before letting his other hand fall back into his lap.
Nico’s brows knit, the corners of his mouth turning down as he covered his eyes again.
“I’m just so tired,” Nico whimpered, sounding utterly defeated.
Will hiccuped, looking back down at his hands. He didn’t know how to fix this, he was pretty sure he couldn’t fix this… but for now he could take care of Nico.
“Let's sleep then,” he said, his voice cracking.
“I can’t,” Nico whispered, lowering his hands back to his chest. “The nightmares will just wake me up again.”
Will took in the charcoal smudges under Nico’s eyes, and wondered how long he’d been running on empty.
“Can we go try? You would be a lot more comfortable in bed–”
“No,” Nico snapped. “I can’t go inside,” he said, his shoulders hiking up towards his ears. “I need to be outside, I need to see the sky, or else feel like I’m dying in that fucking jar again,” he spat.
Will blinked.
“Okay.”
Nico’s eyes flickered over Will’s with skepticism.
“Okay?”
Will nodded, humming in affirmation and Nico looked back at the sky, letting out a small sigh of relief, and relaxing his shoulders.
Will sniffed and cleared his throat before asking, “Can I at least go get us some blankets and pillows to make it more comfortable?”
Nico’s eyes returned to Will’s.
“Us?”
“I’m not going to leave you up here alone, Neeks.”
“Oh,” he said, holding Will’s gaze for a moment more before letting his eyes float back up to the stars.
After a moment Will prompted, “So? Blankets?”
“Sure,” Nico breathed.
Will left Nico with a be right back as he climbed down the side of the cabin.
He walked inside and glanced around the room.
When Nico first decided to stay at camp it had been so lifeless, with a couple of bunks as the cabins only contents.
Now it was teeming with life, teeming with Nico, from the collection of mismatched throw blankets on his bed, to the overflowing bookshelves, the clothes thrown around on the floor, the pictures tacked onto the wall, and to the shrine covered in a collection of trinkets, crystals, and bones.
Will choked on a sob, feeling something hollow settle in his chest. He blinked through the tears as he gathered enough blankets and pillows for them to be comfortable, making sure to dry his face before he lugged everything back up to the roof.
“Scoot over,” he demanded, a little out of breath. Nico looked confused but did as he was told, allowing Will to build them a makeshift bed on top of the roof. He placed their pillows next to each other, and gave Nico his own blanket to use for warmth.
They settled down, both ending up laying on their sides to face each other. Nico immediately closed his eyes, and Will watched him for a couple moments, before following suit.
As he was drifting asleep he was woken back up by Nico whispering his name.
“Yeah?” he asked, blinking his eyes open.
Nico was looking at him, eyes wide and shining again. Both of his hands were tucked underneath his chin, and Will’s heart squeezed with affection.
“Thank you,” Nico breathed.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
Nico sighed out of his nose, closing his eyes for a moment.
“Can you– can you hold me?” he asked, looking up at Will through his lashes.
Will felt warmth spread through his chest.
“Yeah, of course,” he said softly.
Nico shuffled around so his back was facing Will, and Will barely had to move forwards before Nico was pushing himself back into his chest.
Will overcame his surprise quickly, tugging the blankets that had been messed up to cover them both, and then wrapped his arm around Nico’s waist and hugged him closer. As Will adjusted himself by curling around Nico, Nico’s hand found his and linked their fingers together.
Even though they were basically lying on stone, Will didn’t remember a time where he felt more comfortable.
He felt the moment Nico fell asleep, the tension slowly drifting from his body until it all finally released. Nico made a soft noise in his sleep, and then moved Will's arm up so their hands were tucked under his chin, and he was hugging Will's arm to his chest.
A weird burst of possessiveness blossomed in Will’s chest, and he buried his face in Nico’s hair. Each breath Nico took pressed him further into Will’s chest, his fingers would periodically twitch against Will’s, and when Will let himself reach out to Nico’s vitals his rib cage was filled with Nico’s heart beating strong and steady.
Nico felt so alive.
Will tightened his grip.