Chapter Text
It was a typical day in Barcelona for Lucy- starting with a busy morning team training session in the morning, followed by a more laidback afternoon gym workout before finishing the day with eating dinner under the Spanish sunset. Just like clockwork, Lucy and Keira finished washing their dishes and sat down on their shared couch.
Something was off between them- it had been for a while now but Lucy couldn't quite place her finger on what it was.
Nevertheless, Lucy outstretched her arms, again like routine, waiting for Keira to lay into them.
Keira did, but it just felt awkward as her body lay stiff in hers, her back straight instead of relaxed. Why was it awkward? And why did it feel forced?
It shouldn't be, Lucy thought, they had always done this.
Maybe it was the position. She shifted around uncomfortably, while racking her brain on what to say- should she ask Keira if she was okay? Would that be too annoying? Maybe she was just tired? It was a busy day. Maybe she should she ask if- they're- okay? Or was that too deep for now? A question for another day?
As Lucy opened her mouth to speak, still uncertain of what she was about to say, Keira beat her to it.
"It feels like we're just friends now, Luce," Keira admitted quietly.
She shuffled around to sit up, leaving Lucy momentarily paused in shock.
But what truly surprised Lucy wasn’t what Keira had said, it was her own reaction- or lack of one.
Instead of protesting, questioning where they went wrong or scrambling to fix it- she found herself…agreeing?
"It does, doesn't it?" she replied, her voice equally as small and distant.
The pair sat in silence for a while, watching Narla mess innocently around with a football plushie on the floor- a sharp contrast to the tension in the room.
The realisation lingered between them.
They had always been Keira and Lucy for so long, and everyone around them just knew that.
They spent every moment together- they worked, shared the same friends, trained, and even lived together - a flat in Manchester, and now one in Barcelona. And even though Narla was technically Lucy's dog, Lucy considered her dog to be as much Keira's as it was hers.
"I've been looking at other flats in Barcelona," Keira admitted, her voice cracking slightly as she broke the silence.
"Wait- you've been thinking about this before? And you’re considering moving out?" Lucy asked, taken aback.
"And you haven't?" Keira countered, her voice steady as if she had rehearsed this, tilting her head slightly to the left.
"No?" Lucy immediately began, then she paused- her voice faltering. "Well...maybe? No? I don't know! I guess I felt things changing between us but I never thought about you leaving,"
Lucy's heart dropped- suddenly feeling blindsided and panicked. The suddenness of it all felt overwhelming.
"Luce," Keira said calmly, placing a hand on her knee, "Do you want to talk about this now or shall I give you a minute?"
Lucy's mind was spinning, trying to process everything. She wasn't expecting this conversation to happen now.
"Maybe you could just take your shower now?" Lucy asked, her voice shaky as she tried to regain control, "I just need to get all my thoughts in order,"
Keira just gave her a soft nod and walked off to their bedroom.
It almost annoyed Lucy that Keira did that- anticipating exactly what Lucy needed. Since when had Keira learned so well? And how was she ever going to find a person who would know her on that level? It was built from years of trust and shared moments that Lucy was unsure she could replicate.
Lucy stood up, feeling restless. She walked over to the treadmill and switched it on, starting a light jog. To anyone else, it might have seemed like a strange reaction after a heavy conversation like that, but it was the only way that Lucy would be able to focus her thoughts. Plus, it was basically the equivalent of talking a walk outside but it was dark and she didn't want to abandon Keira.
After 20 minutes, Lucy had managed to come to a conclusion while Keira's shower subsequently stopped.
Keira was right- somewhere along the line they had just turned into friendly roommates. She couldn’t remember the last time they had done anything romantic, or a moment where Lucy’s heart raced as Keira walked into the room like it used to.
Keira walked in five minutes later, rubbing her hair with a towel and nervously sitting down on the coach next to Lucy. She didn't say a word, letting Lucy lead the conversation.
"I've thought about it and... I think you're right," Lucy started, exhaling deeply. "It doesn't feel like it used to and it's been this way for a while,"
"And I don't think that either of us have done anything wrong," Keira added, making Lucy nod in agreement, "It's just the way things go,"
"It doesn't make anything easier," Lucy mumbled, now avoiding eye contact.
"No, it doesn’t, " Keira agreed, sighing, "It's just... right now, I think it's what is best for us,"
"I agree. Maybe it is," Lucy said, her mind still reeling, "When did you start, uh, feeling this way?"
"Honestly? Maybe a bit before we moved to Barcelona. I thought things would be better with a new start and everything," Keira admitted.
Lucy's heart dropped yet again, not feeling the change until a little while later. Her mind continued to race, all the things she used to brush off now becoming more obvious. God, she felt stupid for not saying anything earlier.
"I think I'm gonna sleep in the guest room tonight," Keira said hesitantly, eyeing the door nervously.
Lucy blinked, the realisation still settling in before her brain kicked itself back into action.
"Yeah, of course. That would probably be best,"
"Okay," Keira said slowly, "Goodnight Luce, we'll speak about it more tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah, of course, goodnight lo- Kei," Lucy said, watching as Keira trailed off, stopping in their bedroom to get her pair of pyjamas.
The night stretched on, and Lucy lay awake- the bed feeling abnormally cold despite having a long and warm shower.
Lucy almost wished that they had have one of their usual fights about it, so she could at least cry herself to sleep or feel more comfortable with them sleeping apart. It was all too easy.
She started to have second thoughts as the night developed- what if Keira really was the love of her life? Shouldn't she be fighting for her?
She tossed and turned, scrolling mindlessly on her phone and her fingers hovering over her photo album, considering looking through old photos. Thankfully, she still had enough willpower to not to fall down that hole, and opened up a game, an online version of pool instead.
However, that game reminded her of when her and Keira would play games together before bed so she chucked her phone to the side.
Lucy hadn't realised how much she was holding onto, until it was all slipping away.
But just as she was about to give up on sleep, the door to their room creaked open. Keira's familiar silhouette appeared visible to Lucy despite her usual eyewear.
"I couldn't sleep," Keira whispered, "Is it okay if I-"
"Of course," Lucy cut her off, not even bothering to hesitate- the words coming out before she could second guess herself.
Keira hovered in the doorway for a second before slipping into the right side of the bed beside Lucy.
They both lay there, gazing up at the ceiling while not saying anything, the weight of the unspoken words and doubts hanging between them.
The space between them was unfamiliar, yet still comforting as you would expect with two people who knew each other so well.
Keira's hand reached for Lucy's first, cautiously reaching for her hand. She hesitantly wrapped her fingers around Lucy's, a quiet surrender.
Lucy let her, but after a few moments wanted nothing more than to pull away. She knew they shouldn't- it wouldn't help anything.
But the thought of breaking the touch felt impossible.
And so, they fell asleep like that- hands intertwined as they finally drifted off to sleep together.
~~
Morning came too soon.
Keira was the first one to move, sitting on the edge of the bed and running a hand through her curly hair as if she was preparing herself for the inevitable.
"This is it, isn't it?" Lucy sighed quietly, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.
"Yeah, yeah it is Luce," Keira said, gaining the confidence to look Lucy in the eye.
And with that, that was the end. No grand gestures or final arguments, just an agreement that things had run their course.