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The conversation about having a second child was started, weirdly, by their four year old. It was a random Monday just before Halloween when Henry brought up the topic in the car ride coming home from preschool.
“Daddy, where do babies come from?” He asked innocently as he played with one of his stuffies in the back. Buck swerved the car slightly at the suddenness of the question. How is he supposed to explain that to a four year old, especially a four year old with two dads.
“Well, babies can come from lots of places, sweetheart. Remember Monica? She kept you safe in her belly until you were ready to be with papa and me.” Buck replied as he looked through the mirror, watching as Henry smiled as he played away.
“Jacob’s mommy and daddy are having another baby. He said he’s gonna be a big brother! Can you and papa have another baby so I can be a big brother as well?”
“Maybe, buddy.”
He tells Tommy about their conversation later that night once Henry is tucked away in bed. Buck lounged across the couch with his head on Tommy’s lap as his husband ran his fingers through his curls with one hand and holding his book of the month with the other.
“So Henry asked for us to have another baby today.” He said, brushing his nose against Tommy’s wrist to get his attention. Pausing his reading, Tommy looked down at Buck through his reading glasses, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh yeah? How on earth did that come up in conversation?” Buck shifted himself so he sat up straight, draping his legs over Tommy’s lap.
“Jacob’s parents are having another baby. Apparently he told Henry he is going to be a big brother and now he wants to be a big brother.” Tommy let out a laugh as he placed down his book, running his hand up Buck’s leg, landing to rest it on his thigh. “Our sweet boy.”
“It did get me thinking though. That maybe we should have another baby,” His hand came to rest on top of Tommy’s, his fingers absentmindedly playing with his wedding band.
Tommy scrunched up his face as he smiled, “Oh yeah, you think so?” Buck hummed a response as Tommy moved so he was now knelt in between his legs. Snaking his arm around his waist, he used his upper body strength to lay Buck down on his back.
“Well maybe we should practice making one.” He sealed his lips over Buck’s, kissing him softly before pulling away. “Mr Buckley-Kinard, are you flirting with me?” Buck asked with a laugh.
“Always. I’d have to be dead in the ground for me to stop.” Their lips were on each other once again, more feverishly and hungry than before. “But we are not doing it here.” Tommy let out a groan at his husband’s response.
“Babe, we are old and have a four year old. Couch sex is off the table.”
The conversation about having a second baby took the back burner after that day. Life got busy, Halloween happened, swiftly followed by Thanksgiving then Henry’s fifth birthday and Christmas. And before either of them knew it, it had been 8 months since they talked about it.
Then one hot afternoon in June, it happened.
It had been a slow day at the station, Buck was keeping himself occupied by cleaning down the ladder truck when from the corner of his eye he saw someone enter the firehouse. Dropping the sponge, he wiped his hands down his legs as he approached the guest. She was a young girl, barely 19 years old. She had a terrified look on her face as she watched Buck walk towards her. As he got closer, he noticed that she was holding something in her arms.
“Hey, can I help you?” Buck asked politely once he was within earshot.
“You’re a firefighter, right?” She said timidly, her voice on the edge of breaking as she spoke. “Yes I am, is everything okay?”
Buck was directly in front of her now, peering into her arms to see that she was holding a baby; she couldn’t be more than a few days old. “I read online that I can surround her here, no questions asked,” She said, moving to place the baby in Buck’s arms. “I have no one that can help me. I can’t do this alone.” She dumped a bag next to his feet.
“All her medical information is in the bag alongside some stuff to get her through a few days. Please make sure she goes to someone good. She deserves a good life, a life I can’t give her.” There were tears in her eyes and her lip began to wobble as she pleaded with him. Buck was too stunned to speak, watching helplessly as the young girl kissed the baby on the forehead before turning around to leave.
He looked down at the small bundle in his arms. She was sleeping sweetly, her head buried into the crook of Buck’s arm. Bringing his hand to cup the back of her head, he gently brushed his thumb through her soft brown hair. He felt a warm feeling spreading through his body, the exact same feeling he got when he first held his son in his arms.
“Hey, Buck what have you got - is that a baby?” Chimney asked as he approached him, with Eddie and Hen following not far behind. He turned slowly to face them to allow them a better view. “Erm, yeah. A girl was just here and kinda…gave me her.” He replied quietly, his eyes finally coming up to look at his friends. Hen’s face grew soft as she moved toward Buck, looking down at the baby as she did. “A safe surrender?” Buck nodded his head in response.
“Okay, I’m going to go into the office and call CPS, get someone to come over and take her in. Chim, can you give her a look over, just to make sure there is no need to rush her to the hospital. And Buck?” She paused, her commanding voice faltering for a moment. “Keep her safe, okay?” Her hand came to squeeze his shoulder before walking away towards her office.
Buck trailed behind Chimney over towards the ambulance, with Eddie not far behind, diaper bag slung over his shoulder. As he took a seat on the bench inside the ambulance, his eyes fell back down to the baby. She was wide awake now, her deep chocolatey brown eyes looking up, her little hand poking out of the soft pink blanket, reaching for him. The hand that was cupping her head came around her face so she could take ahold of his pinkie, gripping surprisingly tight as she did.
“Okay, Buckaroo. Pass her over and I can give her a once over,” Chimney said as he reached over for the baby. Buck reacted immediately, his arms tightening as he pulled back slightly, his eyes remaining on her. Chimney caught the eye of Eddie, who was still standing by the ambulance doors, and gave him a knowing look. With a nod, Eddie pulled his phone out of his pocket and walked a few feet away, phone ringing as he did. “I’m sorry, I just…”
“Hey, it’s okay. How about we lay her on the stretcher and you can help keep her steady?” Chimney suggested. Buck looked away from the baby and gave his brother-in-law a small nod. They both shifted so they were closer to the stretcher, Buck unwrapped the blanket unveiling a white onesie with little yellow ducks on them. He brought her to his chest for a moment so he could move the blanket away before lowering her gently to lay down. Missing the warmth and comfort of Buck's arms, she let out a small cry, her eyes growing large and wet.
“Hey, it’s okay little duckling. I’ve got you,” the nickname left his mouth on accident, though she didn’t seem to mind. Somehow, she seemed to find comfort in his voice.
Chimney watched Buck for a moment, taking in the scene in front of him. His right hand was resting gently on the baby’s belly, his thumb running across her ribs as he held her in place on the stretcher. The other hand laid at the top of her head. There was a look on his face that he had grown familiar with. Hen called it his baby drunk face, a permanent feature for the first year of Henry’s life. His eyes were tender and full of light, his lips twitching in a soft smile as he whispered sweet nothings to her. He quickly took his phone from his pocket to send a quick text.
Chimney: Hey Mads, do we have any of Jee’s old baby clothes left?
After pocketing his phone, he sprung into first responder mode. He reached forward to start unbuttoning her onesie as she wiggled displeased. “Oh, I know little one. But we’ve got to get a good look at you, make sure you are perfect,” Chimney commented quietly. He worked on her as quickly and as gently as he could, knowing that Buck was itching to get her back into his arms. And by the way she was whining and reaching her small arms up towards his brother-in-law, she was itching for it too.
“Okay, all done. She’s got the Chimney seal of approval.” He said once he was all done, tapping the small girl's nose gently as he did. He barely had the chance to move back out of Buck’s way before he was reaching forward to bundle her back up until his arm, yellow duck onesie discarded on the stretcher. Almost immediately, she settles down in his arms, cooing as her small hand comes up to rest on the left side of his chest.
Right below his heart.
“Just got off the phone with CPS, it could be a few hours until someone can come.” Hen’s voice filled the ambulance as she climbed her way in to join them, sitting down next to Buck. “Are you okay with being the man behind today Buck to stay with her?”
“Of course.”
The next few hours flew by, Buck was frankly in baby bliss. He had forgotten how wonderful the newborn stage was. He spent most of the afternoon walking around the the loft of the firehouse, baby in arms, talking softly to her. He told her about his family, Tommy and Henry, about Bobby and his brand new vegetable garden, about the 118. And the whole time she watched him; looking up at him with such wonder in those deep brown eyes.
Eventually, he found himself sitting on the couch, with her resting on his chest as she slept. Buck couldn’t help but allow himself to indulge in the feeling, the warm swelling of his heart. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, the small human that had only known him for a few hours, but seemed to feel safe with him.
His attention was soon taken away from the girl, and to the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. His husband had made an appearance at the firehouse, making a beeline for Buck with a look of fondness on his face.
“So, who do we have here?” Tommy asked gently as he knelt down on the floor next to him, bringing a hand to rest on top of his.
“Well, she doesn’t have a name so I’ve been referring to her as little duckling,” He replied with a warm smile, his fingers still delicately brushing over her hair. A quiet chuckle came from Tommy before he responded, “Little duckling?”
“Yeah, when she was dropped off she was originally wearing a onesie with little yellow ducks on them so I’ve been calling her that since. She seems to really like it.”
“She seems to really like you.” And as if on cue, the baby wiggled slightly on Buck’s chest, her face scrunching up before a smile broke out on her face.
“What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were working today?”
“Work can wait. Apparently, I’m about to become a dad again.” Buck flashed Tommy a confused look.
“Eddie called and said you were baby drunk,” Tommy replied with a smile on his face. He pushed himself from the floor to sit on the couch next to his husband, his free hand coming to cup the back of his neck. Buck rolled his head slightly so he was looking up at him, with a slight pout on his face.
“I hate that they call it that,” Buck mumbled. Tommy chuckled lightly before leaning over and kissing him on the temple. “It’s adorable, honey.” Buck let out a hum before rolling his head back to look back down at the baby.
“Is it bad that I want us to have her?”
“Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because…her mom. She looked so scared and she’s all alone. I should have gone after her, you know? Spoke to her. But when she put the baby in my arms, I just froze and thought wow, she looks exactly like Tommy.”
“Sweetheart, she did what she thought was best for herself and for her baby. And if that means she comes home with us, two dads that will love and care for her so much and to a little boy that is dying to be a big brother? I think she will be happy knowing that she is safe and cared for.”
“He would be a great big brother,” Buck said after a moment.
“Oh he would be the best. I overheard him tell Jee last week how lucky she is to have a forever best friend,” Tommy shifted, coming to scoop the baby off of Buck and holding her in his arms. She fussed slightly at the sudden movement before setting back down in his arms, her chest rising and falling gently as she slept. “God, she is so perfect, isn’t she?”
“So do you think we should do it?” Buck asked nervously. He watched his husband, at how gently he was with the baby. A wave of nostalgia hit him, remembering back to all those years ago when Henry was born.
“I’ve already spoken with the social worker and applied for an emergency foster license. Turns out being a dual income married couple with a child already makes the application process a lot easier.” Tommy said as he turned his body to face Buck. His free hand came to take a hold of Buck’s hand squeezing it tightly. “And after 14 days, if her mom doesn’t change her mind, then we can start the process to adopt her. She would officially be ours.”
“Our little duckling.”
And after months of court hearings, home visits and piles and piles of paperwork; Rosie Madeline Buckley-Kinard finally became a part of their family.