Chapter Text
Charlie Dalton considers himself a man of many talents.
He can recite poetry on command, charm his way out of most punishments, and play the saxophone just well enough to be tolerable. But more than anything, Charlie prides himself on his ability to read people; especially Neil Perry.
Neil had been Charlie’s best friend since they’d started at Welton in the seventh grade. Charlie knew everything about Neil, things others didn’t. He knew about Neil’s father, he knew about the time he absolutely bombed his Macbeth audition, he knew about Neil’s first kiss with a girl from Henley Hall, and over everything, he knew when Neil was hiding something.
Which is why it’s honestly offensive that it takes him this long to figure out that Neil Perry and Todd Anderson are very much together.
And he doesn’t even figure it out through subtle clues or careful deduction.
No.
He walks in on them making out.
It happens on a perfectly normal Tuesday evening.
Charlie bursts into Neil and Todd’s dorm without knocking, just like he always does, prepared to launch into a speech about the atrocious amount of homework he’s been given and how he needs Neil to help him.
And immediately stops short.
Because Neil is currently pressed up against Todd’s desk, very occupied with kissing him like his life depended on it.
Todd’s hands are fisted in Neil’s sweater. Neil’s fingers are roaming in Todd’s hair. There’s soft moaning.
Charlie blinks, thinking how to announce his presence. He settles for an awkward clear of his throat.
Todd opens his eyes mid-kiss, sees Charlie, and gasps, immediately letting out the most horrified noise known to mankind. He practically throws Neil off of him in panic.
Neil stumbles slightly, turns to see Charlie standing there, still frozen in shock, then sighs and grins .
"Hey, Charlie" He greets, as if nothing had happened.
Charlie continues staring. Then, in a slow, measured voice, he says "Neil. Buddy. Pal "
Neil raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"
Charlie gestures vaguely between them. "You and Todd are making out"
Neil nods. "Correct"
"Like. On purpose ? "
Charlie’s eyes darted between the two. Neil laughs. Todd looks mortified, a blush rising to his cheeks. He squints. “How long has this been a thing?”
Todd, still looking like he wants to evaporate, mumbles something incomprehensible. Neil, smug, answers for him. “A few months”
Charlie’s jaw drops . “A few months?! ”
Todd groans and covers his face with his hands. “Charlie, please don’t make a big deal out of this”
Charlie looks personally offended. “Don’t make a big deal? Todd, I just walked in on you two having a full-on moment . I think I deserve to make a big deal!”
“You walked in without knocking!” Todd argues.
Neil just grins. “You’re handling this better than I expected.”
Charlie gawks at him. “Neil. I thought Todd was scared of you half the time, and now you’re telling me he’s been making out with you behind my back?”
Neil smirks. “Not just making out”
Todd whimpers and slaps Neil’s arm.
Charlie puts a hand over his chest. “Oh my God”
Todd, face burning , finally looks up and groans, “Charlie, if you tell anyone — ”
Charlie holds up his hands. “Relax, man. I won’t tell a soul” He pauses. Then, after a beat, he grins.
“But I will be making fun of you for the rest of your life”
Neil laughs. Todd rolls his eyes.