Chapter Text
It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes past two in the morning when Yelena was awaken by another presence standing next to her. The hyper-awareness instilled in her by the Red Room had significantly dwindled down in the past few years but she doubted it would ever truly go away, besides, it offered her a strange sense of security to know no one could ever sneak up on her even when she was deep in slumber.
She kept her eyes closed and her breathing in a steady rhythm, all thanks to the knee-jerk reaction of not letting the unexpected company know she was awake while her mind worked a thousand-miles-per-second thinking of her action plan.
She mapped out the three hiding spots where she kept different weapons stashed in the room, the closest being the small knife tucked right between the mattress and bed frame, and how to most effectively neutralize the invader in the shortest amount of time.
Once she had three different plans to deal with the situation, each varying in the amount of force and violence she would need depending on the intentions of her intruder, Yelena felt ready to engage.
Turning to her side, as anyone just looking to find a more comfortable position would while asleep, she let her right arm hang over the side of the mattress but just as her fingers came in contact with the cool metal of the blade, the silence of the room was broken by a whisper.
“Мама?”
The voice was tiny and wobbly and it made her eyes snap open to find a pair starring right back at her, unshed tears clinging to long lashes and glimmering under the blue hue coming thought the window from the moon light.
Yelena sat up now fully awake and looked up and down the little body standing in front of her, trying to find any physical cause for her distress but came back empty.
“Hi, my dear, what’s wrong?” She kept her voice low and gentle to not startle her daughter any more than she already seemed to be.
“Had a bad dream.” The Russian words were barely intelligible with how tightly Mia was holding onto the stuffed rabbit she carried everywhere since Natasha gifted it on her birthday not a month before, still, Yelena understood them perfectly and her chest contracted in itself at the sight.
“Oh, my little one, I’m so sorry.” She opened her arms and immediately two tiny arms wrapped around her waist, with said stuffed rabbit squeezed between their bodies.
“There was a monster under my bed and you weren’t there.” Hearing that small voice that was usually so bright and full of joy now tainted with so much anguish made Yelena tighten her hold, wishing that she could rid her of all her dismay.
“It’s okay, it was just a dream. Not real.” She swayed back and forth gently for a few more seconds in silence, trying to push out of her mind the memories of waking up in dark rooms, shaking in fear from nightmares of pain and red on her hands and lifeless bodies at her feet, and not being able to look for comfort because that would mean she was weak, and being weak made you useless.
And being useless in the Red Room made you disposable.
A sob threatened to push itself out of her throat but she swallowed it down, knowing she had to be strong for her baby, as she vowed for the umpteenth time since there were two lines on the pregnancy test that her daughter would never have to feel that being afraid was cause for punishment.
“I’m here with you.”
The bed dipped under her and suddenly there was another hand, bigger and warmer, squeezing on her hip. “Hey, what’s going on?” Kate’s voice was groggy with sleep as she leaned over her shoulder and it made Yelena smile when she realized just how similar she sounded to the girl still tucked in her arms.
Turning to look at her wife, she kept her cheek pressed against the top of Mia’s head, inhaling the baby scent that she knew was a matter of time before it fully disappeared. “She just had a bad dream and needed a cuddle, right little bee?”
Black curls tickled her skin when Mia nodded before reaching out so Kate could pull her completely on the bed.
“Oh, bad dreams suck, I get them too sometimes.” Swiftly, Kate lifted the girl with one arm while she opened the covers with the other to tuck her underneath and then both women did the same, resting their heads on opposite hands, looking down at their daughter.
“You do?” Mia asked, her voice full of surprise at the statement.
“Yes, and they can be scary. But you know what I do to make them go away?”
“What?”
“I tell Мама about them.” Two pairs of eyes turned to look at her, one hazel with childlike awe and one blue with what she could only describe as devotion. “And when she holds me, everything that happened on the dream goes away.”
“Because Мама gives the best hugs.” Their girl quickly chimed in, all traces of her previous distress now replaced by her usual easy smile.
“She certainly does.” Kate chuckled, bringing her arm around Yelena’s back and pulling both of them closer. “She keeps me safe.”
But Yelena couldn’t just stay silent, feeling it was necessary to give Kate her due credit as well. “Mommy also keeps me safe when I have bad dreams.”
“Yes! With her arrows!”
Yelena laughed and tickled Mia’s tummy, her giggles echoing loudly in the otherwise silent room and dissolving any anguish the blonde was feeling. “And her bad jokes.”
“And funny faces!”
“Okay, I’m feeling attacked now.”
“Aw, so dramatic.” Kate gasped in offense at her words and pinched the skin under her shirt but Yelena only leaned her head closer until their foreheads touched and with a finger began tracing soft lines on Mia’s face, from her hairline and down her nose, until her little eyes began to flutter drowsily.
“Go to sleep, little Magnolia, we’ll keep the monsters away.”
They watched in silence as Mia finally drifted back into sleep, her small chest rising in long steady breaths, and only then, Kate moved the hand that was on her back to rest it on her cheek, her thumb stroking gently until Yelena looked up at her.
“You okay?” She whispered, concern shinning in her eyes because of course she knew what Yelena had been thinking about.
It might have been the first time Mia came to them after a nightmare but it wasn’t the first time sharing a vulnerable moment with her brought bad memories for Yelena, and while been so easily read by Kate used to be terrifying when they first started dating, now it brought her a familiar sense of peace.
A single tear rolled down her eye but Yelena allowed it because it didn’t come from sadness and with her left arm tucked under her head and the fingers on her right hand stroking mindless patterns in their daughter’s hair, all she could do was turn her face enough to press a kiss her wife’s palm and snuggle even closer, their noses touching.
In that moment, holding and being held by the two people she would give her life for in a heartbeat, her answer came with the most certainty and conviction she had ever felt.
“I am now.”