Work Text:
the sound of cars starting and late night traffic echoes through the parking lot as chan walks into target.
it’s a thursday night, or at least chris thinks it is, he doesn’t really know. his days run together with so much of the same, like they most often do. it’s why he insists he be the one to make the target runs at least twice a week, though jisung and changbin might’ve already caught onto the fact that it’s because chan sees it as (using the word VERY loosely) somewhat of a vacation. he just likes spending way too much time in there and buying things he didn’t come in for. which, if you ask jisung, needs to stop as his studio desk practically looks like a target shelf. but the little squishmallows that sit next to his laptop keep him company!
chan can’t help it. he spends so much time wrapped up in the music world, whether it be a straight 14 hours daily assisting jisung and changbin with lyrics or poking around fl studio in hopes of making anything worth listening to, that he barely steps into the real world. it’s gotten to the point where he can only sleep 4 hours at a time before his insomnia kicks in and he inevitably has to come up for air, launching into another day of work. when he’s not working, 3RACHA are on tour, but even cramped into one bus with his best friends and staff alike you can still find chan with his nose in his laptop. only at an ungodly time of the night when he can’t even get his 4 hours because of potholes and winding roads though, wrapped in a warm kind of silence, otherwise jisung and changbin try to make the tours work-free. but what they don't know can’t hurt them, just chan and his inability to take care of himself.
the automatic doors slide closed behind him as his phone goes off in his pocket. he takes it out to find a list from jisung.
bane of my existence 😈🐿:
- poptarts (i don’t give a fuck what changbin says i want blueberry)
ramyeon
- your prepackaged salads 🙄 (yes we know you eat 3 meals at the studio we need to talk about that)
- choco milk
- pretzels (it’s my turn to pick and i want honey twists if you come home with buttersnaps i will literally make out with changbin in front of you)
- energy drinks preferably red bull but bin wants celsius so idc
- eggo blueberry waffles
- fishies (baby kind the regular are too big and make my mouth dry)
- your pineapple juice 🙄
- salt and vinegar pringles
- your freeze dried peaches 🙄
chan rolls his eyes at nobody, completely ready to run the risk of looking ridiculous. maybe he doesn’t take care of himself because he’s so busy being the mom friend to those two. he shoves his phone back in his pocket without responding and starts for the food aisles, he might as well get what he needs before looking at what he doesn’t.
he’s got the peaches, pretzels (honey twists because he’s a good mom… who doesn’t want to watch his best friends makeout), pop tarts, fishies, chris lists off in his head as he makes his way out of the snacks, trying to remember all the drinks jisung asked for. across the way he sees the cups shelf and upon realizing they’re switched out with new ones, he makes a mental note to see the mugs and animal sippy cups. so far for sippy cups he’s got a pig one for changbin that he made fun of at first but chan definitely catches him with now and then, and a jack-o’-lantern one he found last halloween but definitely uses all year round. halloween is his favorite holiday, sue him. as for mugs, he got 3racha their zodiac signs and for himself, among many, his favorites would be the dog shaped one and the cheesy “best dad ever” one that jisung got him as a joke but they all know is really not.
he’s maybe almost halfway done, walking with a purpose to find the pineapple juice, when he spots him. the prettiest boy chan has ever seen. short, long blonde hair, thin frame, freckles he can see from here and chan is literally more than 10 feet away holy shit he wants to stare at those freckles for the rest of his life. chan stares, an overwhelming need to,,, fuck, what does it mean if he wants to know his middle name? is that weird? chan doesn’t know, he doesn’t know anything, all thought and logic has checked out of his brain as he just stares at this boy and thinks about wanting to know his middle name and maybe talk about what his future dreams are. the boy looks up from where he’s skimming a shelf in the games aisle and chan just manages to continue walking and redirects his sight to the nearest red cart rolling by. unfortunately, not before he got a glimpse of stunning warm brown eyes that almost had the aussie tripping over his own two feet.
chan turns down the first aisle he sees in attempt to get his shit together, god, he feels pathetic. he looks around to realize he’s in the mugs and decides to stay put as he wanted to check here anyway. he takes a breath and scans the shelves. he sees a few permanent fixtures such as the cheesy him/her mugs that say stupid shit like “morning honey” that make him gag, coming across a ghost mug he has absolutely no mental battle over whether or not he should spend his hard earned money on. he just picks it up because it’s so cute with that little smile that kind of looks like pretty blonde freckle boy and oh- chan is doing it again. he sighs, setting the ghost mug carefully into the basket he’s carrying and shuffles out of the kitchen section before he ends up sporadic impulse buying another spatula. he definitely doesn’t need to give jisung another thing to accidentally break during a 3 am session.
speaking of, he could definitely call either of them, he thinks as he turns a corner and ends up in the home goods section. he could, but why would he when he knows exactly what they’ll say? they’ll suggest talking to the boy and chris just, can’t bring himself to do that. he stops at an endcap, specifically the candle endcap, and starts smelling them. well, not that he can’t at all. he’d probably be able to strike up a conversation naturally enough, what with his years of worked through social anxiety behind him. it’s more a case of that he won’t. the soft, small boy’s image pops back into his head and he thinks about those delicate lips and sharp jawline he’d love to nose across until he finds a decent spot to kiss, and it’s even more incentive for chris to leave him alone. he takes the lid off of a jar decorated with strawberries, inhaling a sweet scent that he just can’t pinpoint. he turns it upside and reads “strawberry sorbet” in bold letters. huh. he wasn’t expecting that but now that he knows it makes sense.
chan walks down another aisle, his usual giddiness to get out of the studio completely gone and replaced with an onslaught of overwhelming thoughts containing freckle boy. he’s obviously interested, but distant to a fault.
he’s dated before. well, has tried to. for lack of better words, he’s married to his job. and it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy that, it’s more about how normal that is. how safe it is. before he can think too into that offhanded thought he abandons the candle endcap and just starts wandering, list forgotten. his head is all over the place, ailes feeling like miles, and before he knows it he’s right back to where he started in the food section.
chan’s about to get himself together, pour all of his energy into forgetting about the boy and actually doing what he came here for, which should not be as hard as it sounds, when he gets a call.
he huffs, switching the surprisingly light basket he’s been lugging around to his left hand and fishing his phone from his pocket with his right. he gives the caller id a quick glance before answering and can’t even get a word out because changbin is talking.
“did jisung tell you it was his turn to pick poptarts? because it’s mine and i want cinnamon.”
chan rolls his eyes and replies back. “well hello to you, too.”
“chan!”
“the boyfriends seriously can’t decide on a fucking poptart flavor to share?” he laments, making his way back to the cereal isle. the poptarts are unfortunately one of the four things he managed to grab prior to his love hazed stupor, so now he has to backtrack and basically start all over. good thing he’s already where he needs to be and doesn’t need to go far.
“EX boyfriend if he says one more defamatory remark about blueberry poptarts!” jisung’s voice rings through the speaker from a distance.
“y’all are like children,” chan says, grabbing a box of cinnamon poptarts despite the bickering he’s having to endure, it’s not loud enough for his ears not to pick up the sudden faraway humming probably from another shopper. “why don’t i just buy both? problem solved, you bitch babies.”
“because that’s indulging us.” changbin reasons, and honestly chris can’t argue with that. they might be semi famous but most of the money they make goes right back into work, which doesn't leave much for their bank accounts.
chan stares at the blueberry box in his hand before rolling his eyes. “i can’t listen to you two bicker or else i’ll never leave. you’ll get what you get, kids.” he maneuvers the things in his hands around to pull the phone from in between his ear and shoulder, decidedly ending the call. jisung’s yells of protest are cut off, prompting chris to sigh. despite what changbin said, chan will splurge if it means making them
both happy.
with that, he tosses the box into his basket and starts searching for the cinnamon flavor. they’ve been working hard anyway, they deserve-
“hello,”
chan jerks, his head and hands switching gears before his brain can keep up and suddenly there’s pop tart boxes on the floor.
it’s him, it’s the blonde boy. not just blissfully at a distant looking at games in the electronics section or humming along to a song chan has never heard in the frozen foods. he’s actually talking to chan. and now he’s real, and now chris can see him up close and god are the freckles even prettier at this distance and is chan in love because he’s feeling like he suddenly knows exactly what love feels like but also now he’s remembering they’re in the middle of a target. he immediately crouches down to pick up the boxes, if not just to clear his head. he really thought he’d gotten better at human interaction over the past few years.
“oh, god, i’m so sorry!” he hears above him. “shit, here, let me help.” and before he knows it pretty blonde boy with freckles is in his direct eyesight again. chris breaths, focusing on the floor and where his hands are.
they manage to pick up the boxes and get them
back on the shelf with little exchange, but that luxury slips away the second the task is over. “i’m sorry, again. for scaring you and wow, you probably think i’m the weirdest person.”
no, he thinks as pretty blonde boy giggles nervously. if you’re weird then so am i. i mean, he’s the one who’s felt irrevocably invested in this nonexistent relationship since the second he saw him.
“and this is about to sound even weirder, i’m sorry if i’m making you uncomfortable i swear i’m not some creepy murderer i just-“
chan’s lips turn up slightly, a ghost of a smile. the strangers eyes land on his after avoiding them for a majority of his ramble, and the tension releases.
“i just happened to overhear you on the phone and couldn’t help but notice your australian accent.”
despite living in the us for quite some time, he almost always forgets that his accent is jarring against the sound of american voices. the unmistakable sound of home rolls off blonde boy’s tongue and now that it all sinks in he gets flashes of picture frames with the two of them inside in his mind. chan blinks, regaining as much composure as possible.
“it’s totally fine,” the light smile lifts into a bigger, more genuine one. “whereabouts are you from?”
pretty blonde boy returns the grin upon realizing he hadn’t come off as odd as he’d thought. “sydney, but more specifically seven hills. what about you? oh, my name's felix by the way.”
“chris. and all over, moved around a ton as a kid.”
“i know this entire interaction is weird and please don’t don’t feel obligated to say yes because i know this is a lot to ask but, could we maybe shop together?”
chan blinks again.
“it’s just, i’ve been really homesick lately. i’m an exchange student at the local uni and well, yeah. hearing your voice just kind of makes me feel not completely out of place.”
even if chan hadn’t seen felix across the room and felt an inexplicable amount of feelings for him, there’s no way he would say no to him. not when this stranger is standing in front of him bearing his soul, heart on his sleeve so bravely to someone he doesn’t even know all because he can hear home in his voice. and chan knows that feeling, knows the desperation to get as close to the beach as possible. even if it’s just their manager bambam’s backyard pool or a seaside scented candle on a target shelf.
“you don’t have to explain, i get it. we can shop together if you don’t mind running around a bit. my friends are kind of particular.”
“i kind of overheard,” he says sheepishly.
“yeah they take turns every week but still end up bickering about the poptart flavor we get anyway.” chan scoffs, the shock having worn off and having slipped into his usual friendly tone and demeanor. “so i’m just gunna get them both.” he picks up the box of cinnamon that had fallen on the floor and waves it at felix before putting it in his basket.
felix looks at him thoughtfully. “if they can’t decide, why don’t you get your favorite?”
“i never- well i’ve never really thought to,” he trips over his words. “i haven’t gotten it before.”
“ever?” the stranger’s eyes shine with a type of curiosity chan can’t place.
“ever.”
the blonde smiles, not breaking eye contact with him as he takes the two boxes from his basket and returns them. “what’s your favorite flavor? and you can’t say your friends because i already know theirs.”
chan blinks. “cherry.”
“you know, i tried making cherry brownies last week.” felix says as he locates the cherry poptarts.
“really?”
“yeah, emphasis on tried.” he chuckles, setting the box into his basket. “all the cherries ended up on the bottom and even worse, it ended up being too cakey.”
“fudge brownies are where it’s at.”
“exactly!” felix’s face lights up. “at least my roommate liked them, but i stick to making strictly fudge now. they’re the superior kind.”
chan smiles and thinks about how the freckled boy with the sunshine smile in front of him reminds him of a warm, fudgey brownie.
“where to next?”
chan snaps back to reality for the second time (he has got to stop doing that) and pulls out the list in text form.
“i think the closest aisle is drinks, right?”
felix nods, impulsively grabbing his hand and pulling him in the direction of the drinks. chan just lets him lead the way and wonders if felix can feel it too.
“so is this baking thing something you actually do, like at uni?”
felix is in the middle of picking out a flavor of red bull, claiming that chris should “change it up” after hearing that he always gets the original for him and his friends.
“definitely not. i mean, it’s a hobby. or, i guess more like a comfort activity since being here. but it’s not my major, no.”
“then what do you actually do?” he asks, grabbing a pack of pineapple juice and realizing his basket might not be big enough for everything. thankfully, felix offers up his basket that only has a squishmallow and a nintendo switch game in it.
“i’m a dance major.”
chan’s eyes widen, features lifting in revelation.
the other suddenly turns apprehensive, frowning at the reaction. “is it really that surprising?”
“no, no-“ chan rushes out. “it’s just that you mentioned you went to the local uni, the top dance uni in the country, you must be an incredible dancer to have gotten in.”
“oh, well, i guess it is. i don’t think i’m that incredible though, just lucky.” the blonde blushes the prettiest shade of pink and chan thinks it might be his new favorite color.
they walk until they reach the long wall of freezers and he scans for the chocolate milk as he responds. “eh, i have a feeling you’re incredible.”
felix lightly shoves him with a giggle. “yeah right, you haven’t even seen me.”
“that’s why i said it’s a feeling.” he winks.
“what about you, then? you look about my age, are you in college too?”
“no.” chan pulls out the chocolate milk and lets the freezer door fall shut with a thud. he stares at the carton and contemplates never seeing felix again. “i’m 25, a little too old for college. i actually- i’m a music producer.”
“really?” felix’s eyes shine bright with curiosity. “or are you like a soundcloud rapper that advertises on tinder who uses garage band?”
chan lets out an unexpected laugh. “no, i mean, our songs used to be on soundcloud but i’m signed to a company, right out of college actually. i’d say my group were the lucky ones.”
“group?” felix lifts an eyebrow. “are you like, in a kpop group? i feel like i would have recognized you.”
“no, we’re a rap group called 3racha. though i wouldn’t put it past jisung and changbin to be able to dance.”
“are those your members?”
chan nods. “speaking of, let’s look at their list.” he fishes his phone out of his black jeans pocket and navigates to his messages with jisung.
“oh, salad. that’s probably down here.”
“have you written anything i would’ve heard?”
“i’m not sure,” chan says, barely being able to tear his eyes from the strangers gorgeous face. “what are you into?”
felix’s eyes light up at the question, launching into an answer. “if we’re talking kpop, twice, red velvet, new jeans, a lot of girl groups. but if it’s western music, coldplay is probably my favorite band but i love pop also, so sam smith, lana del ray, imagine dragons.”
“aw man, coldplay is literally so good.”
“right?” felix smiles, and chans feels like he’s been hit with cupids arrow from the overwhelming feeling of simple connection.
“well you could’ve stumbled across our music, i wouldn’t say with your impeccable music taste it would be impossible,” when felix giggles at that, chan feels as though he’s won something, achieved the unthinkable. he has to write this down, these feelings he can’t describe. only in lyric form will they make sense. “but we’re called 3RACHA.”
felix scans the open text on his phone still in chan’s hand, leading him back over to the freezer isle to grab eggo waffles. “thanks for the vote of confidence but i haven’t heard of you. would i like your music?
“i hope so.” chan says without thinking, a dreamy drawl he can’t control laced in his voice. to his relief, felix throws him a smile over his shoulder leading him god knows where. fuck jisung and changbin’s list, where this little cupid goes, chan will follow now.
“i’ll look you up, promise.”
chan takes that promise and locks it away in his heart like a lovesick fool, genuinely wanting felix to look them up and like their music. even if he never sees him again after this, it’ll be enough that he at least listened to his art. they continue to talk as if they’ve known each other their whole lives, treating the list like a treasure map as they retrieve each item. they talk about places in australia they miss and have in common, turns out they lived close at one point. chan holds back from suggesting something silly like fate brought them here, but does pour it into his notes app when felix isn’t looking. they point out ridiculous food flavors and decor they spot, gossip about their friends chan secretly envisions himself meeting one day and bicker about what brand of water is the best.
“i haven’t drank disani since it spilled all over my keyboard right in the middle of a fucking league match,” felix mutters with disdain. “aquafina in an owala only.”
“woah, you play league, mate?”
“duh, genshin, too.”
chan, missing his brain capacity, almost asks felix to marry him. what he asks instead is “who do you main?”
what chan doesn’t miss is the frown that sneaks on felix’s face a bit later when he checks the list again and realizes they’ve procured everything. they make their way to the self checkout together, starting to scan chan’s items. when they get to the bottom of felix’s basket, pulling the basket away from chan.
“oh! i was so caught up i forgot i had stuff to buy too.”
“let me buy it for you”
“oh chris, i couldn’t.”
“you can, a thank you for helping me shop.”
“more like i forced you to let me shop with-“
felix doesn’t get to finish his sentence before chan is grabbing the squishmallow and switch game out of his basket, scanning both items and adding them to his total.
“hey!”
“like i said,” chan says, trying to be cool as he pulls out his debit card and presses the chip against the reader. “thank you.”
the younger just rolls his eyes, but waits for chan to finish up the transaction.
when the traffic noises return to chan’s ears as the two step outside the store, he’s suddenly brought back to earth. felix is saying his goodbyes and profusely thanking him when he realizes he’s at a crossroads. chan could say goodbye and go back to the studio, spend all night writing this song and have it be the only proof felix ever existed, that these feelings existed. go on with life and always wonder.
“hey, uh…” chan stops felix before he walks away. “i really enjoyed your company tonight and i know this might be weird-“
“weirder than me overhearing your accent and approaching you out of nowhere?”
chan laughs for maybe the millionth time that night, sign that he’s making the right decision. “maybe the same amount, if you say yes that is.”
“yes to what, chris?”
“could i have your phone number?”
the real sign is felix smiling that sweet summer fruit smile that reminds him of home. “depends on what you’re going to do with it.”
he feels confident, suddenly. all his thoughts and doubts about himself overruled by the power of a galaxy of freckles. “i don’t know, was thinking about maybe asking this really cute aussie i met tonight on a date.”
a honeyed giggle rings out of felix, like a ticket booth at an arcade spitting out more rewards for his efforts. “yes… to both questions.”
the two swap phones, and as chan gives his over, he’s oddly relieved it won’t be filled with untapped longing tonight. maybe he’ll be felix’s future favorite regret, and he’d be okay with that as long as he got to reach out and touch. but maybe felix will be his only one, his best yet.