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The air in KEGS buzzed with controversy. The announcement had come during an all-school assembly, Mr. Carter dutifully delivering the words Mr. Seed had whispered into his ear the night before. His words were emotionless, like the rest of his assemblies passing through one ear and out the other about some book. But the message landed like a bomb. Perhaps only anime club’s return would have sparked a greater reaction. ALthough opinions were not unanimous.
"As of next term, we will be introducing Computer Science as a core part of the curriculum."
For a moment there was silence. Then an uproar. The lower schoolers buzzed with excitement about “finally learning how to hack and playing scratch games all lesson” while the older students sagely grumbled about some NEA thing and twos complement. Teachers exchanged wary glances. Somewhere near the back, Mr. Sims, the new Computer Science teacher, gave a hesitant thumbs-up to no one in particular.
But it wasn’t just the subject that was controversial. Word had come back of some new phenomenon. Prospective students came back from the classes. And they weren't quite the same.
Girls had come to KEGS
"It’s not natural. Boys and girls in the same school? It’s… disruptive."
"I’ve heard that it’s the Computer Science program. Apparently, half of all people in there are trans. Can you imagine it? It’s bonkers I know"
“It goes against the natural order. Boys should be with boys and girls should be with girls”
KEGS was a storm. The Year 11s staged an impromptu protest outside the sports hall chanting, “Boys good, Girls bad”. Mr Green, the usually unflappable giant, had to herd them away with a whistle and a grim look. The students would go on to not pass their English GCSEs and were sent to a certain institute on Jupiter due to their newfound talent.
Elsewhere, a message was exchanged. Secret agents among the student body had taken note of the tumultuous events and concerns were raised. Something was coming. Something bad.
RE: He has sown the seeds
Romeo: The seeds of chaos are planted, Juliet. He’s moving fast. Too fast. Computer Science is only the surface, but the waves are stirring…
Romeo: Art thou alright? Thou looketh... different.
Juliet: Different isn’t always bad. Life is short, so why not give a try.
Juliet: It’s liberating. It’s not destruction, its evolution.
Romeo: I shaketh mine head. I’ve seen what Mr Seed is doing.
Juliet: And what of it? You know what happens when students act too soon. They get crushed under the wheels of whatever vile scheme is at play. Or worse, they end up like Mr Garcia - driven mad by their own reflection. We must wait as we always have. The students come first.
Romeo: Patience isn’t a strategy, Juliet. It’s a gamble. If ye wait too long, there won’t be a school left to save.
Juliet: To think you’d quote the Henrywatch. If we act now, the fallout will be worse. He wants us to panic. Mr Seed thrives on disorder. The introduction of Computer Science, the trans students—it’s a distraction. A ploy to make us move prematurely. But if we hold still for this critical moment we can topple his king at his weakest moment.
Romeo: And if this is all part of his plan. What if waiting just makes us pawns in his game?
Juliet: Then we’ll be the pawns to checkmate the king. Bide your time. We joyful ones are still here, watching, waiting. When the moment comes, we’ll be ready.
Romeo: I hope thou art right. I hope thou art still thou.
Meanwhile Mr Seedobserved the mayhem from his military grade observatory located on his 1000 acre property. His orrery spun, his home planet still far out of sight. He sighs. Too much time with a pre-romance Michael Toombs had grown to create a bad habit that was as unshakeable as the shudders when he remembered a certain incident involving his pet mass surveillance project Impero and the letter N. Far too long he had pupeteered Mr Carter from the shadows. Now emboldened by his waning power in the light of the Mr Attwood and Mr Rager incidents, he saw fit to finally step out from behind the scenes and command power with his own two hands. His walls were lined with servers, humming in the dark. His disembodied head was placed before a console, a small holographic chessboard projected in front of him. Each piece glimmered faintly, their positions mirroring the school’s chaos. He smirked. "They move exactly as I predicted," he muttered, his spectral voice tinged with satisfaction. His gaze flicked to the chessboard. A pawn, white, e4, advanced boldly. "The King’s Gambit."
Far above, in the Design Technology block, Miss Bunting seethed.
"Computer Science," she spat, slamming a soldering iron onto her workbench. “In my tech department? Over my dead body!” Her students glanced at each other nervously, unsure whether to step in or stay silent.
Miss Bunting had reason to be furious. Once the undisputed ruler of all things technical at KEGS, she now found herself undermined. Computer Science - a field once partly within her domain, had been unapologetically ripped away from her control.
"I’ll put an end to this nonsense myself. I finally have a use for all those favours with the finance department." she declared, storming toward the office. But as she reached the threshold of her domain, a low whistling sound stopped her in her tracks.
Missiles - bold, precise and afghanistan made and assembled - whizzed through the air, slamming into the wall just inches from her head. A warning.
Her eyes widened. “Seed….” she hissed.
Somewhere deep below the school, Mr. Seed allowed himself a rare, grim smile. "Foolish move, Bunting. You should know better than to provoke me." He hums to himself “6...d6.. Not that she’d have much luck with the finance department. Not after all that debt she has accrued with those Junior Young engineers projects. I will never understand what she sees in those little worms”
While Miss Bunting licked her wounds, another player made his move. Mr Maxwell Lyte, appointed leader of the Henrywatch, had been waiting for the chaos to reach its peak.
He met with Mr Maxwell Pro in the shadow of the library’s spiral staircase.
"Garcia is ready," Mr maxwell Lyte said, his voice low and steady. "But we need to act fast. Mr Seed’s already two moves ahead."
Mr Maxwell Pro raised an eyebrow, adjusting his glasses. "Garcia’s power is… unpredictable. If we unleash him too early -"
"We have no choice,"Mr Maxwell Lyte interrupted. "Mr Seed has already destabilised the school with his schemes. If we wait any longer, there won’t be anything left to save."
Reluctantly, Mr Maxwell Pro nodded. "Fine. But if this backfires, it’s on you."
Mr maxwell Lyte’s wavering smirk betrayed his ill confidence. "It won’t. Trust me.."
The staff room, once a neutral zone of lukewarm tea had become a battlefield. Papers flew as Mr Garcia, the ritualist of the latin research department unleashed his first strike. An eldritch blast seared across, tearing a deadly line across the wall, narrowly missing Mr Seed as he dives out of the way. “Heh. I won’t be checked by something like this” The disembodied head rolled across the table as Mr Garcia began to consolidate his power. Mr Carter, caught in the crossfire, dove behind the staff room couch, clutching his clipboard like a shield. "This was not in the job description," he muttered.
Mr Seed nodded. Mr. Sims sprang into action, moving with surprising agility for someone who spent most of his time explaining Python loops to uninterested Year 9s. He inserted a dongle into a nearby computer, summoning a digital firewall to trap Mr. Garcia. “Back where I’m from they called me the Kung Führer. And I think it’s time, for me to unleash my fury” And for a moment, it worked - the invincible ritualist was boxed in, his eldritch energy contained within a glowing red grid. His eyes sputtered as he struggled to break free.
But then came Mr Chumbely. Suited in his armour, he gleamed as his sword flashed a silver arc through the air. Like a rogue knight charging into battle, the physics teacher hurled himself at the firewall, his Justice inside him burned and his rage righteous. “MR SEED! The Physics department will tolerate your schemes no longer!” Mr Seeds eyes widened as Mr Chumbely cut Mr Garcia free, alive to see the Konosuba window once more.
"Go!" Mr Chumbely roared. "You’ll have another shot!"
Mr Garcia hesitated, then nodded, retreating into the corridor to regroup. But the chaos was far from over.
Mr Seed winced as the boxed in black queen narrowly avoided his attempts to block it in. The black knight created an opportunity for an escape and a quick victory had slipped through his fingers. But as he thought, a later opportunity presented itself. “This is going to hurt though.” He sighed.
Meanwhile, the PE department had formed an alliance, rallying against Mr Miliken, whose iron-fisted rule over detentions had left the student body in a perpetual state of inaction. The plan was simple: overwhelm him with sheer numbers.
But as the PE teachers advanced, Mr. Green faltered.
"Wait," he said, clutching his knee. "I - I can’t…"
The others groaned. "Your knee again?" Mr. Lowe growled. "For once, stop holding us back!" They headed forwards, their backs to Mr Green as they planned for Mr Milikens downfall.
But then Mr. Green straightened, a sinister grin spreading across his face. "My knee?" he chuckled. "You fools. My knee is fine."
With a triumphant yell, he summoned a legion of loyal athletics students, each wearing their PE kits and glaring with unyielding determination. Climbing onto their shoulders, Mr. Green declared, "Behold, my chariot!"
The human pyramid wobbled precariously. "Sir, you’re kind of heavy," one student gasped.
"Silence!" Mr. Green bellowed. But the weight was too much, and the “chariot” collapsed, sending him tumbling to the ground. But the damage was done. For a second, the chariot had burned bright and from the ashes rose only Mr Green and his followers, the rest of the PE department unconscious, incapacitated in the critical moment before the attack.
Desperately, Mr. Garcia seized the opportunity to begin his greatest ritual yet. The school’s forces that opposed Mr Seed were vulnerable. Standing atop a pile of confiscated phones in the library, he raised his hands and spoke the forbidden words:
"Ego, Ego voco meum nomen in aeternum. Ego sum ritualista sanguinis, finis lectionis interminabilis, et examen vocabuli subito!"
I, I summon in my name. The ritualist of blood, the unending lesson, the surprise vocab test!
A dark portal opened above him, and from it emerged… himself.
"I have summoned me!" he declared triumphantly.
The ground rumbled as portals to the seven infernal hells opened up. Demons poured through the gates, all in the visage of blood mage himself. Prior to his class, he had all of his A level apprentices slit their wrists. Stacking their corpses in a pre-arranged pattern, their bodies had jerked back to life, all looking..like him? Mr Garcia had stumbled upon a new form of sarkic warfare. - cloning - referred to by experts as Legionem Infinitam Bellorum.
These new versions of Mr Garcia wasted no time. In a swift, brutal move, they struck down Mr. Pattenden, who had wandered in looking for coffee. "Your work ethic was your undoing," Garcia said coldly, taking Pattenden’s Cambridge qualifications as his own.
But his triumph was short-lived. From the shadows, Mr. Lowe charged, newly reawakened, his fists stained with the metaphorical and literal blood of betrayal.
"You lied to us, Mr Green!" Mr Lowe screamed, pummeling the fallen PE teacher. "You betrayed us all!"
Mr Green’s final words were a choked whisper: "It was… worth it…"
Mr Seed’s brows wrinkled as he felt his chessboard reacting to the current events. His two rooks he had sacrificed, a hard blow to his strength. But it would be worth it. A pawn stood solitary on e5. It would be worth it. To deal with the real issue at hand.
Mr Garcia, now at full power, turned his focus back to Mr Seed. With a guttural roar, he unleashed another eldritch blast, aimed directly at the distant disembodied head. But before it could land, Mr. Levitt stepped in his path.
"The homework is the classwork," Levitt intoned ominously. Mr Garcia, caught mid blast, could not counter the hex and the world slowed.
Time trickled through his fingers. The clocked sounded. He must make his move. He was wasting too much time. But the clock chimed and its bell rung a death knell. Caught in the ever present Mr Garcia had frozen to the outside world.
"Pathetic," Mr. Seed remarked, his voice dripping with disdain. "You all fight in vain."
Mr Chumbely held his sword out, helping the Herywatch retreat. The whole operation was a strategic failiure. They had underestimated how far Mr Seed would go, how far to achieve his aims.
Mr Seed turned to Mr Carter. "Attack him."
The headmaster hesitated, his clipboard shaking in his hands. "I - I can’t..I’m not equipped to beat the black knight Mr Chumbely"
"I’m not asking you to," Mr. Seed smirked. The invisible strings he’d been pulling tightened, and Mr Carter moved as if possessed. With one swift motion, Mr Carter jerked into the blades path Mr. Chumbely's sword cutting deep into his flesh. .
Mr Carter fell silently, his clipboard clattering to the floor.
Mr Chumbely stared in horror. His slash was was aimed for Mr Seed but he never expected the headmaster to be so weak. He expected him to fight back worthy of his title and to rectify the whole situation as was his role. But Mr Carter was undeniably weak. Had the Mr Rager incident shaken him that much? His sword clattered to the ground and he began to sob. His righteous tears touched the floor and his divine protectors listened as he declared the woe of this world. His oath to protect the weak rang hollow as the world flipped upside down. He could never forgive himself for slaying the man who took him in.
With nobody protecting the fleeing Henrywatch, Mr. Miliken, seeing an opening, unleashed his ultimate weapon: laser nipples. The beams struck Mr Maxwell Pro, who collapsed into Mr. Maxwell Lyte’s arms.
"You were… always better," Mr Maxwell Pro whispered weakly.
"Don’t say that," Mr Maxwell Lyte said, his voice trembling.
"There’s one thing… you need to know," Mr Maxwell Pro continued
"You…" Mr Maxwell Pro coughed. "You’re your own worst enemy…and yet..we band together".
Mr Maxwell Lyte froze, the words sinking in. "What do you mean?"
"The Henrywatch… is incomplete. I tried… to build another. Maxwell Premium. But… it wasn’t right. I already had that role. The Henrywatch… is the antithesis of you…"
he weakly pointed his finger at Mr Maxwell Lytes chest.
“I.. I was inspired to build him .. when I watch a premium coat of paint dry. I used the students coats that I confiscated to build him… Well.. I guess they can have their coats back…”
He chuckled but for a moment, But Mr Maxwell Lyte would have done anything to listen longer
Mr Maxwell Pro burned his final life force to manifest his vision. A momentary peace within the school. His last gift for his delicate brother who should have known no evil.
“Goodbye, brother. Goodbye, Henry…”
With that, he went limp.
Mr Maxwell Lyte stood, his face a mask of solemn lament. "No more," he said, his voice echoing through the room. ”NO MORE” "For am I not a teacher of this school!?"
And with those final words, this chapter of KEGS ended. There was silence and a sorrow hung over the room. Mr Maxwell Pros power coaxed all to part ways without bloodshed. The sky was clear and the air was fresh but the mood was bittersweet.