Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Please, we won't be able to see each other til lunch!"

"Kalim, it's not even that long"

Riddle strode down the corridor as he heard a conversation happening right around the corner, he stopped before turning in the direction of the voices. A few meters away from him, right in his path, stood Kalim and Jamil, with no other student in sight.

"Please...?"

There was something about the atmosphere that stopped Riddle from just continuing on his walk to the classroom, as if he'd be interrupting some personal matter. With that in mind he just stood there not knowing what else to do.

Jamil quietly sighed and lifted his head, breaking the eye contact between them. He turned to the left, taking a deeper look into the corridor, and before he could check the other direction, Riddle abruptly stepped back behind the corner, where he came from. He wasn't sure why he was hiding in the first place, it was merely an act of instinct. What he was doing was unreasonable, he shouldn't care whether he intrudes someone in a public space, he should focus on getting to class on time instead of overseeing arbitrary student affairs.

He walked confidently with his newfound resolve, he would just ignore the air of awkwardness if it was for the sake of his perfect attendance. He couldn't afford for such a minor inconvenience to stain his clean record.

Nevertheless, it seemed like the other two had failed to hear the sound of Riddle's heels, and he stopped dead in his tracks, the moment he saw the scene unfolding in front of him.

When he saw the pair again, he realized that now Jamil was hugging Kalim by his waist, their faces were only millimeters apart from each other, their lips hastily connecting in a passionate kiss. He stared in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. His head erupted with questions, was it really what he thought they were doing? Something like that between two guys? Was it really possible? I mean, there was nothing physically stopping them but why would they even do that? It wasn't normal, it was unnatural, immoral, his mother told him so!

Riddle silently smacked himself in the head, he caught himself referring to his mother again, it was a habit that had been weighing on him all this time, and despite his overblot he occasionally found himself falling into his bad habits. But his mother was wrong once after all, she wasn't always right, maybe this was the case here too.

His internal monologue came to a stop when Kalim put his hands behind Jamil's head, pulling him even closer, opening his mouth for Jamil to slide his tongue into it. Riddle's ears quickly picked up on the wet sounds of their tongues and the soft moans that echoed through. He shuddered at the noise, the escalation of their affectionate actions rendered him speechless. His mind screamed at him to leave but his body remained unmoving, his hand ever so slightly trembling. Doing such things at school was beyond inappropriate in itself, regardless of their gender, it was inappropriate and he'd have reprimanded them for it had they been from Heartslabyul. That is, if he could even get over his shock to move an inch, and break the, aside from the unbecoming noises, otherwise silence, a silence that made him feel his breath hitch in his throat.

Despite the fact that the bell still hadn't rung to announce the end of the break, for Riddle it felt like it lasted forever, his eyes not being able to look away from the affectionate display of an unanticipated couple. Soon, he couldn't tell what it was that he felt anymore. By his parents standards, he should be feeling disgusted, angry, insulted even, and yet there was a stronger feeling inside him, that one of intrigue, he was witnessing something that he had never taken into consideration before and he wanted to know more. However, he would never be able to admit to having those notions, not to anyone, nor to himself.

Finally, the two separated, leaving a thin tray of saliva between them that quickly broke away, both of them catching their breath.

"Are you satisfied now?"

"Sure am!"

"We ought to be more careful with things like that, we really risk someone seeing us one day"

Kalim giggled at that statement, brushing off Jamil's comment, as though it was nothing, but a lighthearted remark.

And with those words, Riddle felt like he could finally move, shifting to the back of the same corner, as quietly as his heels could manage. His weak legs could only get him so far though, as he slumped down the wall into a sitting position, just out of sight.

"Don't be such a worrywart Jamil! Most students are already in class!"

"You should get going too"

"Okay... Have a good day at school!"

"Ah! Don't hug me so suddenly!"

"Love you!"

Shortly after, Riddle could hear steps that quickly got louder with every second, his heart going faster than he would want it to, he clutched at his chest, fearing like the noise of his beating heart was about to reveal his presence. He gazed at the ground, presumably, trying to erase his existence.

But instead of Kalim turning to the right, he went straight down the main corridor, probably the only reason he didn't notice his fellow housewarden down on the ground.

"Idiot, I love you too..."

Riddle picked up on Jamil's quiet murmur, supposedly given up on the chances of Kalim hearing it with how fast he left, or not wanting to yell out his personal feelings for the whole school to possibly hear. In what was now complete silence, he could hear Jamil slowly walking away in the opposite direction.

That was the moment when Riddle could normally breathe again, it was as if this whole time he had been holding his breath, that now, sounded like a person who just ran a marathon. His heartbeat echoing in his ears, his palms sweaty underneath his black gloves, he felt heat creeping up his neck, his ears burning.

He wasn't sure what to make out from everything he just saw, or what he was supposed to do with the newfound information, was he even to do anything? Were there any rules against this? He was sure he made an effort to memorize every single one, yet he couldn't recall anything of such wording. Though he doubted a prestigious all-boys school would even think of implementing rules on that matter, since how could there be any romance under those conditions?

One thing that he could tell for sure was that he was mad, something about the whole thing made him mad. He couldn’t think of why that might have been, or what to do with it. After all, there was no way he would openly approach the two, with no grasp of their surroundings, and spell out his internal frustrations.

Riddle was gathering his thoughts, sitting on the floor attempting to regain his composure. Doing so, he failed to take into consideration the amount of time that he had wasted. He flinched when he heard the bell ring, his class was certain to start and Riddle wasn't there. Straight away, he got on his, visibly wobbly, feet. He couldn't believe he would make such an oversight. He decided to postpone his self-reflections in favor of making it to class. Alas, he had to limit himself to a haste march, running was out of the question after all.

"Did something happen, Mr. Rosehearts? You're hardly late"

"My apologies Professor. I got distracted on my way here"

"I will overlook it this time considering that it's not a common occurrence. You may take your seat now"

"Thank you, sir"

Riddle sat down, and his head hanged low. Even Professor Trein pointed out how unusual this situation was, and Riddle felt nothing but shame, for failing a simple task, for not obeying a simple rule. He allowed himself to get sidetracked and neglect his responsibilities. He slapped himself on both of his cheeks, he was shaken up at that moment and letting his perfectionist tendencies resurface.

He called to mind Trey's words: "It's great if it's this way", he kept repeating it in his mind, the mantra that helped him whenever he'd get too hung up on the details.

He took in his last deep breath before focusing on his class.

During the break, Riddle’s phone vibrated in his pocket, he swiftly took it out and turned it on to find a new notification, it was from a group on Magicam he had with Kalim and Azul. Normally, he wouldn't use his phone as a form of contact unless it was a necessity. Nevertheless, Scarabia housewarden's spontaneousness and forgetfulness made their tutoring sessions impossible otherwise. Riddle's mind painfully recalled the times, indeed, times, he and Azul would wait in an uncomfortable silence just to learn that Kalim decided to throw a party on a whim. It was after the 4th time that they came to a conclusion that reminders were to be put in place. He had to admit that they should have done so from the start, but honestly, who throws that many parties!? Riddle slowly understood where Idia's fear of Kalim was coming from.

He swiped his finger over the lock screen, both this, and his home screen wallpaper, set to default, which made Cater’s eyes roll to the back of his head, the first time he saw it. Searching over the either preinstalled, or education driven apps, to find the communicator, an orange circle with the number “1” now in its icon’s corner.

"""I'm saddened to inform you that, I won't be able to participate in today's study session, due to an important business matter"""

"""Oh its today? Thats fine azul! Me and riddle can manage on our own :D"""

He really decides everything by himself... Not that Riddle disagreed with his statement. Even if Azul couldn't be there, it's Riddle who consistently ranked at the top of NRC exam's leaderboards. His help alone was in itself plenty. Although it would have been nice to at least be asked for confirmation.

There was something that bothered Riddle about Azul not coming, he'd be left alone with Kalim after all. Kalim who he saw this morning. Kalim who shared an intimate moment with his vice-housewarden. Riddle wished to erase that memory from his mind, after witnessing that, he had no idea how to act around Kalim. How was he supposed to act like nothing happened?

In spite of that fact, Riddle couldn't cancel their meeting out of the blue, it would be insincere to do so for a matter that, bothering him, was in fact, trifling.

The day that their semi-regular meetings started, was, even then, clear in Riddle's mind.

Following their winter break, Kalim unexpectedly asked him a favor, he was insistently pleading for Riddle to tutor him. Which, noticeably, surprised Riddle, he had been convinced that it was, more often than not, Jamil's responsibility to help with his studies, not that Kalim seemed in any way bothered about his scores. At first, he was hesitant, there weren't many who asked for Riddle's help in this field, he himself knew how rigorous he could be, and that not everyone could fulfill the high-expectations placed by one of the top students in the entire school. He doubted someone irresponsible like Kalim could handle that treatment. However, the moment Riddle hesitated was when Kalim looked him in the eyes, determined to change Riddle’s mind, with a serious expression not befitting his usual mannerism. Riddle sighed dejectedly, warning Kalim that he won't go easy on him, to which he somehow showed visible excitement.

A few days later he caught on the news of the situation that had happened during their absence. Riddle quickly connected the dots that it must have been related to their recent conversation, he was impressed with Kalim's attempts at trying to be independent, fending for his own instead of relying on his "friend", making him further inclined to work with him on that goal.

Nonetheless, he was anything but approving of the decision to get help from the Octavinelle housewarden. He made sure that Kalim was aware of the fact that, someone of Azul's caliber, was not to do something without any strings attached, but Kalim assured him that Azul is a good guy, and that his presence would lift some weight off of Riddle's shoulders, despite the fact that Riddle did not share the same sentiment. He may have been worrying for nothing, as with Kalim's family and their connections, it didn't take much convincing for Azul to join them.

Kalim was certainly a time investment, it wasn’t rare for him to take hours to understand more complicated concepts, and both of them had to adjust to Kalim’s simplistic way of thinking. One could tell that Kalim was trying his best, with two tutors over his head he wasn't actually doing bad, whenever Azul or Riddle would provide him with study guides he'd, or at least attempt to, read them in one go (apparently, to not forget about it later). Although working with Kalim was difficult, he was willing to work on himself, and Riddle could see that.

They made an agreement, and Riddle wasn't to back out of it.

Riddle settled himself on their usual table at the library, this time making sure he's early. He put down an average-sized, hardcover, biology book he had picked up from the library a few days ago, but unlike then, at that moment it had red markings sticking out, pages covered in erasable red pen and differently colored highlighters. Additionally, he made sure to prepare blank sheets, that Kalim certainly wouldn't think of bringing, for potential exercises or short summaries. The spare pens he had brought laid right alongside them, just in case. He reorganized his things a few times to pass the time, analyzing each new arrangement with his eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed, his foot soundly tapping on the tiled floor. Kalim arriving late wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was but a common occurrence, however, his nervousness made the suspension insufferable. He waited, and waited, and...

Will he even arrive at all!?

He was about to get up, frustrated by how tense he was about something that didn't ensue. That was when the doors bursted open, making Riddle violently flinch in his seat, his hands clenching at the table.

"I'M HERE!" Kalim stood there in the doorframe, clothes appeared to be far more disheveled than normal, and the yell he let out in-between his panting breaths echoed throughout the library, earning them some nasty side eyes from the few students that remained there.

Riddle lifted up his finger to his mouth, warning Kalim to be quiet. Seeing that, Kalim slapped his hand on his mouth in realization, muttering sorries and flashing apologetic looks to the people he disturbed.

"Ahh, I'm so glad you're still here! I was so worried that you might have left by now"

"Well, I was about to leave..."

"Ack! I'm so sorry! Jamil held me back, and I didn't notice the time"

As he said that, he put his hands together in an apologetic gesture, completely forgetting about his volume once again.

Riddle was convinced he should have been more irked by that, he was 20 minutes late above all! But, seeing Kalim's regretful expression made him wind down.

The fact that Kalim always had good intentions truly made Riddle develop some sort of soft spot for him. He never had a heart to reject the other's unprompted ideas and invitations, which may have also been due to the fact that Kalim never backed down with his plans, he knew he wasn't risking anything by going along with him.

"It's fine, the important thing is that you made it here. You looked over the materials from last time, right?"

"Yeah, of course!"

“You didn’t bring them with you though, did you?”

Riddle glanced at both of Kalim’s hands, seeing both of them empty, he sighed, feeling comfortable at the same time, with the sense of normality in their interaction.

Meantime, Kalim checked his own hands himself, making sure that he was in fact not holding anything.

"I totally forgot! And I even put it in a visible place so I could grab it on the way..."

He flopped onto the chair across from Riddle in defeat, coming to a conclusion that going back for it now wasn't worth it.

"In that case, do you have anything in mind that you had a problem with?"

At that question Kalim perked up, having probably already thought of something.

"Oh, that's right!"

Saying that, he took one of the blank pages Riddle had brought and snatched one of the pens.

"I don't really understand this whole concentration thing... I don't know when to use some of the formulas"

He started to scribble on the page, writing down what he remembered from the exercise. His handwriting was big and messy, not much of a surprise with how hastily he was doing everything, in Riddle’s mind, he gave condolences to any teacher that had, and will have to, grade Kalim's work.

Having finished, he slid the page over in Riddle's direction. Which, without hesitation, Riddle swiped from under Kalim's fingers and flipped it in his direction.

Riddle took a close look at what Kalim had written down, it wasn't very concise though, it had enough information that Riddle was able to recognize which question it was.

"First thing, what was the part you got stuck on?"

"I calculated the weight and volume, then I had no idea what to do with them"

Their tutoring went on seemingly normal, though Riddle found himself staring at Kalim from time to time, whenever he'd be busy solving something on his own, or intensively rereading the same part of the textbook trying to understand it. After all, he was troubled by it.

Why was he troubled so much?

"...Riddle?"

Riddle blinked rapidly, snapping back into reality, he noticed that Kalim wasn't doing anything anymore, but instead looking straight at him.

"Yes?"

"I called out to you three times, everything OK?"

"Ah, my bad, I must have spaced out"

"You've been staring at me a lot today"

He put both of his arms on the table, leaning into Riddle's direction, his eyes squinted as if trying to see through Riddle's thoughts.

"I assure you, it's nothing-"

Kalim's eyes widened, his frown changing into a slight smile, a realization striking into his head.

"Oh! Is it because of what happened this morning?"

…

HUH!?

"Wow, Riddle, your face is so red! Wait, you're not angry at me right!?"

His face changed from that of a smile to surprise, leaning back into his chair in a matter of seconds, his hands raised in a sign of surrender.

"T-that's not..."

How did he know? When did he see him? Does that mean Jamil knew too? And they still did it right in front of him?

He put up his hand to his face. Trying to cover up the burning sensation that he felt under his skin.

“Oh, but you won’t talk about that to anyone right? It’s really important to Jamil that nobody else knows about this”

Riddle twitched, followed by a short silence of him attempting to form a response before giving up, resorting to nodding instead.

Kalim once more relaxed in his seat, although before he could change the topic or go back to his studies, Riddle uttered a singular question.

“Why?”

“You know, he’s constantly stressing about my reputation and so on…”

“Why a guy?”

Riddle asked again, this time adding the detail that made Kalim pause. He stared in one place, visibly blinking three times, thinking over what he was just asked. With how puzzled he looked, it was like someone had put a college math problem in front of him.

“Why not? It doesn’t make a difference”

Now it was Riddle’s turn to go speechless. It doesn’t make a difference? It obviously makes a difference! After all this time, Kalim’s endless bounds of naivety still managed to astound Riddle. Because that’s what it was, naivety. He doubted whether scolding him wouldn’t just go over his head, no matter how much he wanted to do it.

Out of nowhere, a soft alarm sound erupted from Riddle’s phone. It was something he had set as a reminder of his housewarden duties. A precaution, had Riddle gotten too immersed in tutoring, which happened to be the case.

“Wow! The time passed by so quickly… Thank you so much for your help today, Riddle!”

“Yeah… No problem…”

Kalim haphazardly picked up all of the notes they had made, including the book Riddle had prepared, and left their table. Albeit slower, Riddle followed suit. Though, the moment he stepped into the library’s main corridor, Kalim was nowhere to be seen.

“Hello, Riddle”

Riddle flinched at the unexpected presence right next to him. Had he been there the whole time, or did he arrive when Riddle was looking the other way?

“Oh, forgive me, Silver. I’m rather absent-minded today”

“No need to apologize. I’m here because Lilia told me Kalim has a tutoring session with you at this time”

“We finished it just now. Something’s the matter?”

Silver looked down, and held out the book he had with him in both of his hands, showing it to Riddle. The first thing he saw was a cover, a piece of cardboard with yellow, decorative paper glued on. Sticked to it were, multiple, miscellaneous stickers alongside drawn on hearts, sun and clouds. In the center of that mess was a text, written in sharpie, “OUR NEW START”. The “book” he was shown, consisted of no more than 20 pages, which were all connected with the front and back cover by white pieces of string. He scrunched up his face at the sight, the cover design was comparable to a child’s drawing and the binding left a lot to be said. He didn’t know for sure what it was, and what Silver wanted him to do with this.

“He left this behind in the classroom. I couldn’t deliver this earlier due to… extracurricular activities”

“I’m sorry to inform you, but he already left. Best I can do is take it to the teacher, so Kalim can retrieve it tomorrow”

“That’d be much appreciated. Thank you, Riddle”

“It’s nothing”

Silver bowed slightly to show his gratitude, outstretching his hands. Riddle swiftly took the object, turned on his heel and left. He had no time to waste. He did have time left, yes, but god knows what might have happened in the dorm, while Riddle wasn’t there. Especially with the two troublesome Heartslabyul freshmen. He strode to the library’s entrance, looking out for any teacher he might meet on the way. There were no students roaming in the corridor at this time of the day, so Riddle didn’t have to worry about-

Whump

-bumping into someone, which Riddle just did. The person he walked into was visibly taller than him. And apparently, they were in a rush too, considering that Riddle almost dropped the “book” he was carrying.

“Oh, excuse me. I wasn’t looking where I was going”

That sentence made Riddle freeze. As the voice of the person he did not want to see that day, reached his ears. They stepped away from him, confirming that, unluckily, Riddle wasn’t imagining things.

“Jamil… no, it’s my fault, I was too distracted”

The vice-housewarden in question sighed. With his eyebrows furrowed, he eyed Riddle up and down, his arms crossed. Riddle could never read him, not that people hard to read were rare to come by in that school. But, especially after he had learned of Jamil’s overblot, he was hit by how good some were at hiding their true intentions. Having no clue of how much Jamil knew, Riddle could do so little as to stand there, waiting for the other to say something first, or to walk away. It wasn’t unrealistic to assume that Kalim would have let Jamil know about that morning by then. It wasn’t unrealistic, it was way too realistic for Riddle’s comfort!

As Riddle looked at Jamil’s face, for any clue of what he might be thinking, he noticed that Jamil was intently glaring at something. Jamil's face finally changed to that of a surprise, which caught Riddle's attention. He followed his gaze to see that the thing the other was staring at, was the object that nearly flew out of Riddle’s hands.

“Oh, right. Could you-”

“Where did you find that?”

“Silver saw that Kalim left it, and I told him I'd take care of it”

“...Did you look through it?”

“Wha- I'd never invade someone's privacy!” The next sentence came out decidedly quieter ”…That would be a serious violation of the rules”

“I see… Do you want to?”

That was not a question Riddle expected. He glanced at the book again, he wasn’t really thinking about anything, other than quickly taking care of this matter. The question sparked Riddle’s curiosity, curiosity that he wasn’t sure he could trust. So he stood there, conflicted, unmoving. Jamil took his silence as confirmation.

He took Riddle’s wrist in his hand, and started marching forward out of the library. The quick pace made Riddle struggle immensely, Jamil’s height didn’t make it any easier either. They soon entered the school building, where Riddle was taken into one of the classrooms.

“There shouldn’t be anyone else here at this hour”

Much to Riddle’s apprehensiveness, Jamil was right, there was no one in there except them.

Jamil sat at one of the desks, staring at Riddle in anticipation with his hand outstretched. It hit Riddle that the “book” was still in his possession, he quickly gave it to Jamil, and hesitantly took a seat at the same desk.

“Doesn’t this belong to Kalim? Are you sure you’re allowed to show me?”

“It’s fine, Kalim would want you to see it. It’s partially mine anyway”

Before Riddle could protest, Jamil flipped the cover, revealing the first page. It was purple colored, with hearts, swirls and other such decoratives, drawn with a glitter pen, as well as a singular picture in the centre. Under it were written some messages, this time in black ink. The first one, was a neatly written date, assumingly Jamil’s handwriting. Coming out of that, was an arrow that pointed to a messily written “our anniversary”. Riddle didn’t need to guess who wrote that part. Off to the side was another comment written by Kalim, that said: “no more secrets from now on! lets only make good memories :D”. The picture itself showed Kalim taking a selfie, as he hugged Jamil close to his face. The Kalim in the picture smiled widely, while Jamil had a look of annoyance, though the redness of his face was enough to tell how he truly felt.

Riddle had no idea why he was shown all of that, it’s not like he was close to them in any way. He wasn’t interested in them. He definitely wasn’t. Nevertheless, Jamil was staring straight at Riddle, encouraging him to keep going.

The pressure quickly got to him, and he began to look through each and every page. They had a lot of polaroid photos, a lot of them weren’t anything special, things such as everyday school life, parties that Kalim organized… They would often be accompanied by decorations glued or drawn on the page, sometimes it’d be plants, sometimes even receipts. Some of them had comments in a similar style as the first page, sometimes made by Jamil, sometimes by Kalim, that’d either be long descriptions or one-liners. All of the photos were either of them separately or together. Whether it’d be a special occasion or a normal school day, there’d be a picture of it.

Riddle never knew much of the two, not very invested in the personal lives of other students, and the “book” was the perfect window into theirs. From Kalim absolutely failing at performing basic tasks, to the moments they shared between themselves, all of it would have remained unknown to Riddle, if it hadn’t been for that.

He wanted to ignore the small part of him. The small part of him that whispered in his brain. The small part that told him he wanted something like that.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by a shutter. He turned to the source of the noise so fast, he could feel his neck crack. Jamil sat there, now fully facing Riddle, while he held a polaroid camera in his hands.

“Did you just-?”

“Take a photo? Yes”

More noises could be heard from the device, as a piece of glistening paper slowly slid out. Jamil flapped the picture before he held it up against the light, and watched it slowly develop.

“I don’t get why you both wanted me to see this”

Jamil put his hand down, making direct eye contact with Riddle.

“Because, you can be a part of it”

Riddle didn’t know what to say, he had no clue what Jamil meant. Become a part of it? A part of what? Was it all just a convoluted way of asking him to be friends?

Jamil's tone of voice was dead serious, the way he said it was with utmost confidence, like he was stating that sky is blue. The way he gazed at Riddle was intense as well, as if Jamil was trying to look right through him, making him look everywhere but the other's face.

Both of them said nothing. Jamil awaited any sort of response, while Riddle scrambled to understand the meaning of his words. They lasted in that awkward silence, until Jamil’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Multiple times. He took it out and sighed the moment he opened it.

“Kalim’s calling for me”

He got up, this time taking the “book” with him. He was already making his way to the doors, when Riddle finally said something.

“Was that… a way to ask me to be friends with you?”

The moment the word “friends” escaped Riddle’s mouth, Jamil’s movements came to a halt. He turned around, with a semi-irritated expression, that made Riddle wonder if he had said something wrong. That feeling became even stronger, when Jamil momentarily stood in front of the desk Riddle was sitting in. The other flinched, he didn’t know what it was that he did wrong, what he misunderstood.

Jamil leaned over the desk, supporting himself with his arms. Getting closer and closer to Riddle’s face, so close in fact, he could feel his breath on his skin. Jamil’s lips brushed faintly against Riddle’s cheek, before he moved to Riddle’s ear.

“No”

And then, he promptly left. Without looking back or saying anything else. Riddle found himself alone in the classroom, the quietness more deafening than before.

It took him a few seconds to register what just happened, soon after he noticed his heart loudly thumping in his chest. His face became hot, so hot it was unbearable. He wanted to get up, to go back to his dorm and bury himself in tasks to distract his mind, but it was like all the blood left his legs and made its way to his face.

He put his hand right over the spot where Jamil kissed him. He wasn’t sure if it really happened, or whether he just imagined it. He didn’t want to believe it was real. Would what Jamil just did be considered cheating? Did he just contribute to breaking a relationship? And, most importantly, why was his heart racing so badly?

He didn’t know how much time he spent thinking about it, before Trey called him, telling him that he had a game of croquet in fifteen minutes. Which set Riddle into motion again, and he was finally able to leave that cursed room.

That night, Riddle couldn’t sleep for a long time. Instead he spent hours thinking over and over about everything that had happened, which was, in retrospect, a lot. He learned of his two schoolmates dating, two male schoolmates, and one of them wanted to have something with Riddle too. All of it was just too much to take in at such a fast pace. The morning light was already seeping in through his curtains, before he managed to drift away to sleep.

He dreamt of a day back in his childhood, the times where he spent almost every day without leaving his house. That day was different though, he was outside, dragged along by his mother to run some errand. Whenever Riddle was out somewhere, he’d spend every second looking around, taking in his surroundings with awe on his face. At times, he’d be so busy observing the cars driving by, the people walking by him, the places they passed, that he’d nearly trip, which would earn him a reprimand from his mother. The same thing happened that time as well, Riddle turned left and right, as if he’d miss something crucial the moment he glanced the other way. One thing that got his attention was a teenage boy, who ran through a crowd of people, trying to avoid them but occasionally having to push through anyway. He approached another teen, one who just stood there, who up to this moment had his eyes glued to the phone, which he now put it in his pocket. They began talking, and Riddle was just about to change his focus, when the two started getting closer. Riddle’s eyes were glued to the scene, as one of them put their hands on the other’s face, moving closer and closer. Yet, before he could see any more, his vision went dark. Or at least, so Riddle thought, before he realized it was his mother who had covered his eyes with her hand, simultaneously pulling him away even more furiously than before.

“Don’t look. It’s not something children should see”

“Can boys be like you and father as well?”

“Riddle, they’re just sick. People like that live a miserable life. You don’t want to live a miserable life, do you?”

“No, mother…”

Riddle slowly got up from his bed, the headache from his way too loud alarm setting in. He felt terrible.

He trudged through the corridor, fully aware of the bags under his eyes. He hasn’t slept that badly since the beginning of the year, when he’d find himself having frequent nightmares after his little incident. Not that he’d let it affect his performance, he had to push through, to fulfill his role as the heartslabyul’s housewarden without any mishaps.

“You look like death itself. More than usual, that is”

The familiar voice sounded a few steps ahead of Riddle, from the open doors, which he somehow didn’t notice opening. In them, stood a menace to society, and additionally to Riddle’s life, also known as Ace.

“Ace Trappola! This isn’t how you should address an upperclassman. Either way, it’s surprising to see you up this early”

“Early? I almost woke up late”

Suddenly, a chill ran down Riddle's spine. He woke up knowing that it’s still morning, but did he remember to check the hour?

Noises could be heard from Ace’s room, when he got pushed out of the doorway.

“Ace, get a move on! Breakfast is in 5 minutes!”

Deuce peeked his head out of the room, to find out who Ace was chatting with. He jumped slightly the moment he made eye contact with Riddle.

“Housewarden Riddle? What are you doing here?”

Riddle took in a breath, about to say something, but he found himself at a loss for words. Instead he opted to remain speechless, and quickly left to the heartslabyul dining room.

“Is everything okay, Ri- housewarden Riddle?”

Things must have gotten seriously bad, if a freshman, and Ace at that, was concerned about Riddle’s state. Cater and Trey were already interrogating him to no end, though he managed to weasel out of that, without having to share much detail. Right now, he wanted to do nothing more than to be on his merry way to school. Alas, Ace confronted him the moment they were the only ones in the lounge.

“There is no need for your concern, I have everything under control”

“Not your sleep schedule apparently”

“...Excuse me?”

“All I'm saying is, there's no harm in letting your pride down a little. It's obvious something’s bothering you”

Riddle sighed, which was probably the best response, considering he didn’t immediately refute the idea. Ace was about to push him further, when Riddle took a deep breath.

“Is It weird to be in a relationship with another man?”

The question came out in a soft tone, and at the same time, so quiet it was easy to miss. That, together with the way Riddle lowered his head and fiddled with his fingers, made for a scene that caught Ace off guard. The heartslabyul housewarden’s unexpected shyness gave him a sense of uneasiness. Ace ran his hand through his hair, thinking over the appropriate response to the question, before he cleared his throat.

“Well, it's certainly not common. But that doesn't mean it's bad in any way. Most of them are very normal people, more normal than anyone in this school”

“Aren’t they… sick?”

“What? They’re as sick as the next person, people do way weirder shit than that”

Riddle’s movements stopped while he mulled over Ace’s words. Perhaps, there was some truth to what he said, and if that’s the case, maybe he’s been looking at this situation wrongly this entire time. Maybe he’s repeating the same mistake he has done before.

“...I understand. Thank you, for your answer, aside from your unbefitting way of speaking”

“You’re very welcome, housewarden Riddle. So, who’s the lucky guy?”

Ace’s voice quickly shifted from reassuring to snarky, his smile transforming into a smirk.

The whiplash of Ace’s assumption hit Riddle hard, and a deep shade of red overtook his face, in both embarrassment and anger. He clenched his fists and trembled slightly, the question in his head sounding like an accusation.

“I- don’t get the wrong idea!”

“Suree~”

That’s when Riddle decided to turn away, fearing that he might pop a vein at any moment. He proceeded to walk away, clicking the heels of his boots against the marble floor, filling the lounge with an air of confidence. He now had a clear goal in mind, and that was to confront Jamil and Kalim. No matter what he thought of their relationship, if their relationship is like any other, that meant cheating was still a deplorable thing to do. He had to let Kalim know, partially because that’s what he should do, but mostly because he was one of the parties involved, due to Jamil’s actions. Though, he couldn’t just waltz into school and cause a ruckus for the whole school to hear. He had to approach them somewhere more private, somewhere like their dorm, for which he had to wait after classes.

Despite Riddle’s strong resolve earlier that morning, with every hour he felt more and more apprehensive about the idea. And the day went by fast. Sooner than Riddle had realized, the last period had already passed by, and he was forced to slowly make his way to Scarabia's mirror. He stared at his own reflection, the dark circles under his eyes that seemed as if they’d close any second, the sole thing keeping him standing was the adrenaline kick his situation gave him. He took a few deep breaths, trying to find it in him to keep his stance in the face of a new, unknown situation.

He closed his eyes and made the next step.

Riddle didn’t have much problem finding his way to Scarabia’s lounge, that gave him a sense of relief, the last thing he needed was getting lost. It didn’t take that much time either to spot the two sources of his worries, who were sitting on one of the carpets, chatting away.

“Kalim, you should stop taking our scrapbook everywhere you go. Just yesterday I had to run all around campus, because you forgot to take it with you”

“I’m sorry, Jamil… I can’t help but want to look through it now and again”

“It’s fine, I can’t be completely mad at you either way, since your mishap brought about an interesting development”

Riddle had never heard of a “scrapbook” before, nevertheless it couldn’t have been anything other than the “book” from yesterday. Additionally, he couldn’t believe the shamelessness in Jamil’s voice as he talked about “an interesting development”, fully knowing what the other is referring to. Hearing that, gave him a necessary kick to interfere.

“Kalim, Jamil”

Both of them turned to Riddle, their faces in disbelief. The moment Kalim realized that it was, in fact, Riddle and not a figment of his imagination, he grinned and basically jumped out of his seating position. Meanwhile, Jamil stood up at a much reasonable pace, and unlike Kalim, he seemed unsure of Riddle's intentions.

“Oh! Riddle! You should have told me that you'd come beforehand, I'd have prepared something for you!”

“There's no need for such thing”

“What brings here the Riddle Rosehearts?”

The question came off as snarky, which earned Jamil a glare from Riddle. He looked him up and down with a frown, and Jamil could only respond with confusion, not understanding where Riddle's hostility was coming from. Kalim remained blissfully oblivious to their interaction.

“I want to have a talk with you, both of you”

“Oh, sure! Fire away!”

Was the immediate answer, yet Kalim stayed still, enthusiastically waiting for what Riddle would say next.

“Kalim… I'm pretty sure he meant, that we should have that talk in your room, somewhere more private”

“Oh”

It's not surprising that there were other students in the lounge, besides the three. Some of them weren't listening at all, but some spared glances at the interaction, curious about what heartslabyul’s housewarden had to say to come all the way over to scarabia.

“Let's go to my room then!”

Kalim skipped out of the room, and through the corridors until they found themselves in front of one of the dormitory doors. In the meantime, Riddle was rehearsing what he was about to say, the moment they entered. The doors opened easily, far too easily, because apparently, Kalim wasn’t one to lock their doors.

“So, can you tell me now?”

Without even turning to Riddle, Kalim sat down in his bed, Jamil following suit. Riddle wasn’t sure what was expected of him to do, so he carried on with standing up, it added the tiniest bit of confidence to him.

“I know about your relationship”

No reaction.

“And uh…”

“Have you considered my question?”

The way Jamil threw that right at him, with absolutely no intention of hiding it from Kalim, who was sitting right next to him. Everything about it, left Riddle completely stunned.

“What question?”

Kalim looked up at Jamil, with a puzzled expression on his face.

“Kalim.”

At the mention of his name, he turned back to Riddle.

He needed to tell him.

“I know it may be hard to hear. Believe me, I didn’t want to be a part of this either”

Unlike usual, Riddle tried to say it as delicately as he could. Even though he had no knowledge of how relationships work, he knew that such betrayal of trust must be painful to experience. A part of him had felt bad about not doing anything at the time to stop Jamil, he felt bad enough that instead of looking at Kalim, he would burn holes into the patterned rug on the floor. Only when he took a pause, did he shoot another glance at Jamil, who was just as perplexed as Kalim.

“However, I feel that you must know. Jamil approached me with the full intention of having a romantic relationship behind your back. He even… kissed me… on the cheek…”

The last few words, Riddle uttered with difficulty, feeling his face get hotter while he recalled the memory.

Riddle slowly looked at Kalim, seeing how his expression of astonishment soon turned into that of devastation. Kalim grabbed Jamil by his arm, slightly shaking. And the other sighed, placing a hand on his face in… exasperation? That wasn’t the reaction Riddle was expecting. He thought Jamil might try to get defensive, or at least make some attempt at clearing his name. Yet, he didn’t even try to explain himself.

“Jamil!? How could you?!”

A feeling of guilt overcame Riddle. Even though he knew he made the right choice, having to break up a couple wasn’t something he was happy to do. Especially considering that he would be the reason they broke up in the first place.

“How could you do all of that without telling me? I wanted to kiss Riddle too!”

What.

“It’s not that big of a deal. It wasn’t a kiss on the lips, so you didn’t lose out on anything”

“Still…”

“What are you…”

Many thoughts crossed Riddle’s mind in an attempt to understand the situation he was in. They both wanted something with Riddle? Weren’t they supposed to be in a relationship?

“I think there’s some sort of misunderstanding here”

Jamil cut his small argument with Kalim short to fully focus on the still confused Riddle.

“Kalim and I are polyamorous, and we want you to date both of us”

It’s not that Riddle has never heard of the word polyamorous. In a lot of different cultures, including the one from which Jamil and Kalim came from, people can have more than one romantic partner. It’s just that Riddle would have never expected having anything to do with it, that one day two people he didn’t know much about would ask him to engage in such practice. He was already struggling with accepting the idea of love in spite of gender, and now he was being hit with another difficult subject? What would his mother say about it? What would she say about the situation he’s in? What would she say if she knew that Riddle wasn’t disgusted by the idea?

Was he allowed to have something like that?

Kalim walked over to Riddle and held his hands in his own, looking at him with pleading eyes.

"It doesn't have to be a big deal! You can just try it out and break it off if it doesn't work out"

Maybe his mother’s opinion didn’t matter.

"Kalim, don't push it"

He had experienced the effects of listening to her opinion before.

“But Jamil…”

Maybe it was finally time to think for himself.

“You can’t force him if he doesn’t want to”

Like he had told himself that day.

“...Okay”

Both Jamil and Kalim completely froze in place, not expecting Riddle’s sudden, but very shaky response.

“What?”

“I’m… willing to try”

Kalim's shock quickly turned into excitement as he began to jump up and down, still holding Riddle's hands, which earned a yelp from Riddle. Jamil remained speechless, probably still processing the information. Though it didn't take him long to put a hand over his mouth, trying, very poorly, to cover up his grin.

“We should take a photo to commemorate this!”

“Ah, I left the polaroid in my room”

“No worries! I’ll quickly go get it myself”

“Kalim, wait-”

But before Jamil could add anything, Kalim bolted out of the room. Leaving them in an awkward silence.

“He doesn’t have the key to your room, does he?”

“He definitely does not”

Jamil groaned at his housewarden’s overeagerness, not moving from his spot, instead waiting for the other to get back after realizing his mistake. To his surprise, Riddle reacted with a genuine laugh. A weight now off his shoulders.

Since that day, many new pages have been added to the scrapbook. Yet Riddle would always look fondly at the picture they took that day, the date written right under it, and an arrow pointing at it that said "BETTER ANNIVERSARY". And it never failed to make Riddle chuckle with its wording.

That day was the start of something new.

A new start for Riddle.