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For as long as Jack had known Nick, Nick was always letting his ego get them both into trouble.
Nick had the kind of ego that was always convinced it was right. It took all but the most blatant evidence to the contrary to change Nick’s mind once he set his opinions on it. Throughout the course of their childhood friendship, Jack had often seen Nick’s ego bite him in the rear, oftentimes literally.
“Ah, don’t worry! Raccoons don’t bite!”
The mess of scars on Nick’s right arm told a very different story.
“Don’t worry. I completely positive these berries aren’t poisonous.”
The guys at the poison control unit were on a first name basis with Nick, and Jack had learned to always let Nick take the first bite out of anything.
“Bah, my mom was just exaggerating when she said I’d poke my eye out with this.”
Nick had been wearing an eyepatch since he was six.
“Oh come on! It’s going to be hilarious to moon Old Man Hasser’s dog.”
Remember what we said about his ego biting him in the ass?
However, for all Nick got them both into trouble, Jack could not deny that Nick had always been a good friend to him. More than once, Nick had turned himself in to prevent Jack from taking the blame for his actions. And for all that Nick’s ego was the source of trouble, it was also what enabled him to stand up to the people who thought Jack was someone who could be bullied and pushed around.
It was for that reason that Jack often found himself going along with Nick whenever he had another “great idea.” More often than not, he was the one phoning emergency responders when Nick did something to get himself hurt. Jack was often the only one there who could call for help, when Nick was lying on the ground with a badger’s teeth clamped onto his rear. (Not the whole badger, just the teeth.)
It was for that reason alone, that Jack was sitting on a crate in Nick’s cellar, watching his friend sketch a summon circle onto the concrete floor.
“This is a bad idea,” Jack stated, for what had to be the two hundredth time. “People get killed doing this.”
“But we’re not most people,” Nick retorted, reaching up to tap the golden star hanging from his neck. “We’re his people. This is totally different.”
Both Jack and Nick’s parents were followers of the Dreamers’ Star, a sect which worshiped the demon Alcor as a god. Different from most demonic cults, the Circle of the Dreamers’ Star tended to consist, not of power-hungry folks looking to have their greatest wish fulfilled, but rather people who had become disillusioned with more mainstream faiths, or were seeking a religion where there was no doubt as to its primary divinity’s existence.
“That didn’t stop him from taking off Alicia Kester’s head when she summoned him,” Jack pointed out.
“Again, total different. She was up to all those bad things. We’re not. We’re just asking him to help us out on the test.” Nick protested.
“You’re asking him,” Jack corrected. “I’m here in case our lord rearranges your face in response this blasphemy. Are you even listening to yourself? You’re going to ask him to help you cheat on the math test coming up!”
“Look, is us…”
“You.”
“…cheating on a math test really that bad? We’re…”
“You’re.”
“…not hurting anyone.” Nick continued. “No one else in the class is going to get a worse grade if I cheat. The teacher is not going to get in trouble. I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“I don’t think our lord will see it that way? I don’t!”
“Come on. This will work, I promise you.”
“You can’t promise that.” Jack pointed out. “You’ve made that same promise every time you’ve gotten hurt doing something. Don’t worry, I promise you that the floors here are still solid! Don’t worry, I promise you that Mrs. Jenkin’s guard hyena isn’t going to wake up! Don’t worry, I promise you porcupines can’t shoot their quills.”
“Normal ones can’t!” Nick protested.
“Yeah, but the purple ones are apparently perfectly capable of shooting quills out of their ass and into yours.”
Nick shuddered. “Well this one is going to work,” he declared. “Nether you or me is going to get hurt this time.” He finished up the circle. “Just watch.” He cut his finger with a pocket knife, and chanted out the same pseudo-Latin incantation all the kids in the Circle had learned to heart.
The shadows in the room seemed deepen, the candle flames turned blue. A shiver of terror worked its way through both boys as a mass of shadows and raw magical power condensed in the center of the room.
”Who dares summon Alcor the Dreambender! Oh… It’s you.”
“You’ve done this before!?” Jack practically shrieked.
“No!” Nick denied, his eyes wide in panic.
He wasn’t lying. If there was one thing Jack knew of his friend, it was that Nick was cunning as the metaphorical fox. He would lie to his mother’s face if he thought he could get away with it. Even when he was being honest, he always knew how to spin things so that he somehow got out ahead with the better deal. But this time, he wasn’t lying. He wasn’t playing some game. He really hadn’t done this before. By the stars, what were they getting into?
”Why have you summoned me?” Alcor growled, clearly having no patience to deal with summoners today.
Nick cleared his throat. “Oh Immortal Twin Star, Lord of Dreams…”
Alcor growled and made a hand motion for Nick to get on with it.
“Right, we have summoned you…”
“You have summoned him,” Jack corrected automatically.
“… because I seek answers. More specifically, I seek the answers to Mr. Yuchank’s grade seven math test, which will occur next Wednesday at Springvale Jr. Highschool.”
“I see… and what will you offer me in return for these answers?”
“This,” Nick said, producing a small wooden box. “It’s a puzzle box. I haven’t been able to open it.” He hadn’t even tried. “But they said at the pawn shop that there were memories inside.” Not that Nick had believed them. “Is it enough?”
Alcor reached out and took the puzzle box. He turned it over in his hands, inspecting the wood, producing a little hum of appreciation. ”Very well,” he held out a hand alight with blue fire. ”We have a deal.”
Nick reach out and clasped the hand. He didn’t even flinch and the blue fire wound up his arm. Then Alcor disappeared, the fire and the puzzle box went with him. The shadows in the cellar seemed to step back and in Alcor’s place was a simple piece of white paper with writing on it.
“We did it!” Nick exclaimed. “See! I told you no one was going to get hurt this time!”
“Nick.” Jack said, walking over and picking up the paper. “You might not want to get too excited right now.”
“We’re gonna ace that test. I told you this was a good idea! I told you!”
Jack said nothing, just held out the paper to his friend to see. It had answers all right. Answers that made sense for the math test they had on Wednesday. Numbers and fractions, which were scattered across the page in no particular order or organization. A big “42” stood out in the center of the paper. No equations to be seen.
“I think you should have asked for questions as well as the answers.” Jack pointed out.
---
“He hates me.”
“Who?”
Jack and Nick were attending the wedding of one of Jack’s older cousins. Circles of the Dreamers’ Star tended to be small, very close knit communities. Anything happening to one person, such as a birthday, a funeral, or yes, a wedding tended to be attended by everyone in the local Circle. That included their lord Alcor the Dreambender. Tradition dictated that Alcor be summoned to bless the new couple in unholy matrimony, and be granted his share of all the food and drink at the wedding.
“Alcor,” Nick replied, gesturing to the buffet table where the demon himself was taking his pick of the food. “He keeps giving me these looks all the time. Like I’m snake he’s pulled out of his boot.”
“You did summon him in order to try and cheat on a test,” Jack pointed out. “You didn’t exactly make a good impression of yourself.”
“Yeah, but… that wasn’t that bad, all things considered. He can’t hate me that much if that’s all it is.”
“Nick, I’m…”
It was at that moment that Alcor glanced over their way. If ask to describe the look Alcor shot Nick, Jack would have compared it to someone coming across a large, mean-looking dog and trying to decide if they were about to be attacked.
Maybe Nick was onto something this time.
---
“See, he’s doing it again!”
Jack turned his head just in time to catch the tail end of another dirty look Alcor had given Nick. They were at a funeral this time. Alice’s grandma had died, and the ringleader had summoned Alcor to oversee the cremation, and help ensure her soul was safely reincarnated.
“Why doe he hate me?” Nick hissed to his friend.
”Now’s not the time to talk about this,” Jack whispered through the corner of his mouth.
“Why? I… OW!” Nick’s mom smacked him upside the head and gave him a dirty look. He remained respectfully, and mercifully, silent through the rest of the funeral.
---
“I’m going to become a ringleader.”
”What?” Jack lowered his book to stare at his friend in disbelief. “Why? You always said being a ringleader would be the most boring job in the world.”
“I’ve grown up,” Nick shrugged. “I’ve given some serious though, and I’ve decided I want to go to Gravity Falls after we graduate and learn how to become a ringleader.”
“This is about our lord Alcor, isn’t it? All those dirty looks he keeps giving you.”
Nick opened his mouth, shut it, thought for a bit, then decided to go with the truth.
“Yes,” he admitted. “It’s not some much the looks themselves. It’s like he’s already decided that I’m going to fail him. So he’s not going to give me the chance to get my hopes up. I want to prove him wrong. I want to be the best ringleader he’s ever seen. Prove that I’m not a failure waiting to happen.”
Jack closed his book, and straightened up. “You’re serious about this? You realize this is not like the drama club right? You don’t just sign up, go for a week, decide it’s not to your taste, steal a bunch of art supplies the day before you leave, then suicide glitter-bomb the staff room.”
“Not my finest moment,” Nick winced. “But, yes I am serious. Serious, serious. I’m going to see this through to the end, one way or another.”
Jack looked a Nick long and hard for a moment, then he seemed to deflate. “You really are serious. Who would have thought. I’m going to miss you man. You’ve been a g… a friend. I wish you the best of luck. Just… try to stay out of trouble, even if you don’t always succeed.”
Nick smiled back. “Thanks. I’ll try man.”
---
Gravity Falls did not have the largest Circle. That honor belonged to the Circle in, of all places, Winnipeg, Manitoba. But while Gravity Falls wasn’t the biggest Circle, it certainly had one of the most important temples. Baring the humble temple in Glendale, where Kiel had performed the first rites, there were few places more important to the Followers of the Dreamers’ Star than Gravity Falls. It was so many things. The most magically charged place on the planet. The epicenter of the Transcendence itself. The place where Alcor battled and defeated Bill Cipher, just to name a few.
The temple at Gravity Falls received a steady influx of pilgrims all throughout the year, and while the local Circle was not terribly large, the sheer number of pilgrims they received often meant that the local ringleader was stretched thin. The solution was to have would-be ringleaders go to Gravity Falls as a sort of internship. There, they would help out at the temple, assist the ringleader in their duties, and hopefully gain some practical experience that would help them out when they were actually ready to become ringleaders.
Jack adjusted his tacky floral shirt and bucket hat. He hoped he looked like a tourist and not someone making a pilgrimage to what was essentially a demonic temple. Gravity Falls got so many tourists every year, that strangers appearing in town were no surprise at all. Still, it paid to keep a low profile. He was mostly here in Gravity Falls to visit Nick. (Though he certainly intended to see the sights while he was at it.)
Nick’s emails had said things were going well. But with Nick, that could mean anything. He could be in the hospital with a crossbow bolt in his stomach, being investigated by the CIA, or actually be doing fine. Either way, Jack thought, it would be nice to see his friend.
He pushed open the doors to the temple and caught sight of Nick almost immediately. He was sitting on a bench, comforting a crying woman.
“It’s alright to grieve. Our lord understands, even he knows what it’s like to lose someone important to him. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. He’s with you, and he’ll make sure William’s soul makes it through to his next life safely. More importantly, we’re with you too. William’s death hit us all as well. Don’t be afraid to ask any of us for help if you need it.”
“I… thank you Nicolas,” the woman replied, wiping her tears with a tissue. “I… think I need some time alone for now. To… come to grips with everything before the funeral. I…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nick assured her. “Ringleader Mathews told me to tell you that the temple will take care of all the arrangements for the funeral. You do what you need to do. We’ll take care of the rest.”
“I… thank you,” she said, pushing herself to her feet. “I’m glad to know everything is in good hands.”
She walked past Jack without even seeing him, and went straight out of the door.
“I never thought I’d see the day, where you would sit down and comfort someone, and actually do a good job of it,” Jack said, walking over to sit down next to Nick.
“Jack!” Nick smiled. “Didn’t expect to see you here! Came up to visit me huh?”
“Among other things,” Jack replied. His grin faded. “What was going on with that woman? It sounded like someone died.”
“Her son,” Nick shrugged. “One of those magical cancers. By the time they realized anything was wrong it was far too late. Took him out just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “It happened so fast, she never even had the chance to come to terms with the fact he was dying.”
Jack touched both checks in a death prayer. “May our lord see him safe to his next life.”
Nick mirrored the motion. “And may the light of the Dreamers’ Star shine for his mother.”
“This can’t have been an easy thing to deal with,” Jack said after a respectful silence. “How are doing here, really?”
“It’s gotten easier actually,” Nick replied. “It was really hard at first, listening to people complain about their troubles all the time. I really had to struggle to care you know. I kept thinking “why do these people feel the need to complain about their problems to me?” Then I had an epiphany. It wasn’t about me. It was about them. I realized that they’re not existing solely to annoy me. They’re doing it because they need to talk to someone, and that even if I am just pretending to care, it still helps them. It’s what a ringleader does. Even if I don’t care, I need to at least pretend that I do for the sake of the Circle.”
“I don’t know whether to congratulate you, or smack you upside the head.” Jack admitted.
“You sound just like Ringleader Mathews,” Nick grinned.
---
Jack had honestly never thought he would be standing in the temple at his hometown, watching Nick prepare for his ordination. He had thought for sure that Nick would either get frustrated with the duties of a ringleader and drop the whole idea, or do something stupid that would get himself excommunicated. But, he supposed, people grow up and they surprise you.
Nick had actually done very well for himself in Gravity Falls. Ringleader Mathews had sent him back with a letter of recommendation, and personally vouched that Nick was ready for his ordination.
There was really only one thing that needed to be done for a ringleader to be ordained. They had to summon Alcor, recite their vows before him, and if they were worthy, they would receive his blessing.
The ceremony was, by necessity, a very public event for those in the Circle. A ringleader’s legitimacy rested solely on Alcor’s approval. The Lord of Dreams did not tolerate those who would use his name to do harm. There were numerous stories in the Circle’s scriptures that detailed the fate of those ringleaders who attempted to manipulate their Circle for their own ends, only to face the wrath of their lord. That Alcor responded to their summoning and accepted a ringleader meant that they were still following his will and staying true to their vows. It was thus important that summonings be witnessed personally, so that no ringleader could deceive their Circle with false revelation and prophecy.
Jack watched attentively as Nick finished the last line in the circle, cut his arm, and recited the summoning incantation. A ripple of fear and awe ran through the crowd, the shadows coalesced, and Alcor the Dreambender appeared. Jack had been half expecting his lord to strike Nick down where he stood.
Instead, the demon had a look on his face like he had just swallowed a live frog. But he waited patiently as Nick recited his vows. (Basically a promise to work towards the well-being and safety of everyone in his Circle, and at all times to avoid doing harm.) Everyone held their breath as Nick finished the last line of his vows, and Alcor paused to consider the matter. He still looked like he had swallowed a frog. But then, he placed his hand on Nick’s bowed head and pronounced his acceptance of Nick as a future ringleader, before disappearing in a poof of black smoke.
The entire Circle seemed to let out a breath of relief. Everyone seemed to rush forward at once to congratulate Nick.
“Congratulations,” Jack said, throwing his arm around his friend. “You’ve earned it.”
Nick’s one remaining eye seemed to sparkle with glee. “Thank you.”
---
“I had a nightmare about you officiating my wedding once,” Jack said, looking out over the assembled crowd. “In it, you had sold tickets to the event to spectators and had lined up several corporate sponsors to pay for everything. There were billboards everywhere. You had also paid some hookers to come, and they were running a blackjack table in one corner.”
“Well, I did technically invite hookers to come here,” Nick pointed out.
“Yes,” Jack agreed. “But they’re off the clock, and not running an illegal gambling ring by the buffet table. So I consider that a win. Thanks for doing this by the way. I realized this is really your first time doing the whole ceremony on your own.”
“Gotta start somewhere,” Nick shrugged. “Even Kiel was a novice once, and he had to make everything up as he went along. I’m happy to help. I have a feeling you and Alice will have a happy life together.”
“I hope so,” Jack said, glancing over the crowd to where his fiancé, and soon-to-be wife, was chatting with her friends. A dopey smile began to form on his face. “Seriously though. Thank you for not trying to get corporate sponsorship or anything like that, or trying to liven things up by hiring strippers. I’m afraid to ask, but how did you find a sacrifice anyway? Especially without looking like a weird cultist while doing so.”
“Wasn’t hard actually,” Nick admitted. “I passed the word around that you and Alice couldn’t afford a sacrifice for you wedding, so everyone chipped in five bucks and I was able to buy a live pig from one of the farms around here. Lady didn’t even bat an eye when I called her up. We’re lucky we live in an area where folks are obsessed with outdoor barbecues and fresh pork.”
“You can take my freedom of religion, but you can’t take my charcoal grilled pork chops,” Jack half laughed. “Figures. If anyone could figure out that loophole, it would be you.”
Nick grinned. “You got to think creatively if you’re ringleader these days. Besides, he cast a look to the circle, which had already been prepared in anticipation of sundown. “I’m looking forward to seeing Alcor’s face when he realizes it’s me again. He always has the best expressions.”