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“Alec.” His eyes met Lydia’s and he drew a hard breath, she was clearly seeing the hesitation in his eyes, probably more than she should, but at the second she had started drawing the wedding rune on his forearm, a sentence wouldn’t come out of his mind.
I know you feel what I feel.
And he did. By the Angels, how much he did. His heart beating like crazy in his chest, like a sudden hit of adrenaline every time he would see him, shivering as if cold had taken a right on his body, but it only being the result of the feeling of his eyes on him.
But he couldn’t do this to Lydia. He couldn’t just walk away from it and hope for the best. That she’ll keep the institute and rule it like she’s perfectly meant to do. Hope that his parents wouldn’t hate him, that the Clave wouldn’t disgrace the Lightwood name yet again. Damn, he just couldn’t do this to his parents, he couldn’t be the shame that would finally put down Maryse and Robert.
He couldn’t do it to Jace, not now, not when their parabatai bond was so slowly building itself back, and that he had finally accepted to be his best man, not now that the blonde’s world was falling apart and that Alec’s wedding was the only normality in it.
He couldn’t do it to Isabelle, for who he was doing it, he couldn’t let her be the adult, be the one sacrificing who she is for the family.
He couldn’t do it to Magnus.
He couldn’t just come running into his arms and pretend like nothing happened. Like he hadn’t turned his back on Magnus the day before.
He couldn’t just say that yes he was feeling it after he said that he didn’t so vehemently.
He couldn’t be like that.
Alexander.
Even despite how nice his full name would sound in Magnus’ tongue.
Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what’s in your heart.
Or how he wasn’t sure what who is in his heart anymore. And if only family was everything to him.
He looked to his arm, where the wedding rune was slowly fading, at least until he would draw the same one on Lydia’s. He looked up to Lydia’s eyes, everyone holding their breath, the girl’s petite hand holding the stele for him to take. And somehow, his doubts shattered once more his heart…
He couldn’t do it. But he had to.
He had to marry Lydia.
Despite the taste that happiness lingered around his heart, his mind and whole being a few weeks back.
I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Magnus.
They’re going to be Alec and Lydia Lightwood. And they’re going to run the institute like no one had before, despite his heart.
Emotions are nothing but a distraction, Shadowhunters are taught to control them.
He took slowly the stele from Lydia’s hand, bringing it to the inside of her own forearm. Oh man… He’s freaking twenty-one, he’s too young to get married to a girl. And too gay.
But he has to fix his family.
Hands suddenly tugged at the low of his jacket and his eyes snapped in less than a second to Jace’s face. Anything to hold the delivery of that moment.
Maybe it had been the worst idea that Alec ever had. Jace bent slightly his head in the direction of the entrance, and Alec’s eyes simply followed the movement…
That was totally stupid. A familiar body had led itself slowly through the entrance and Alec couldn’t help but stare.
“What is he doing here…” He whispered slightly under his breath, maybe not quietly enough since the mundane-turned-vampire seemed to hear him from the first row if the way he almost snapped his neck to look at the entrance, Clary following the lead by instinct, was any answer. But Lydia did too.
“He’s your friend isn’t he? I saw you didn’t invite him, so I thought I would, even if he’s a Downworlder.” She whispered too, he could almost hear her smile in her voice, thinking that she did something good.
And she did. Because all his doubts just left him, while he was watching – who was he kidding, checking out – Magnus in a black and glittery suit, his hair freshly dye-d in red.
He heard a high squeal coming from somewhere behind Lydia, and didn’t have to look to know that Isabelle had finally saw Magnus too.
And he knew.
Lydia did do something good. But not for her.
He suddenly turned his head back to Lydia, who smiled at him and he finally looked back at the stele in his hand, still against the light skin of Lydia’s forearm. Alec took slowly her hands, and he had no doubt that everyone thought he was finally going through, if the other squeal Isabelle let out was an answer, or Jace’s way of tightening his hold on Alec’s jacket and Clary’s eyes watering while she was resting her head against Simon’s shoulder. Or the way his mother was smiling at him like she never did – and never would again. Or how he could still feel the shiver running down his spine at the weight of Magnus’ stare.
Alec gently squeezed Lydia’s hand, and finally removed the stele from against her forearm, placing it in her petite hand, closing her fingers around it.
“I’m sorry Lydia.” He finally said, slowly, and with a last smile, his eyes turned yet again to the crowd, and locked with Magnus’. “But I can’t do that.”
And he just let go of Lydia’s hand, almost running down the stairs, and stop in front of Magnus, his eyes following every traits of the Warlock’s face, and that’s when he noticed the small tears running down Magnus’ cheeks.
Alec took a step closer, his face only a few inches away from Magnus’, and somehow, he just forget everyone around him, his mother yelling for him, half the crowd yelling as well… Nothing mattered but the man in front of him.
“Name it.” He said slowly, smiling a little, hoping Magnus would understand what he meant. And he wasn’t disappointed, despite Magnus’ still watering eyes.
“You. In fact, I’ll do you pro bono.” Magnus sighed under his breath.
“Deal. If you still want me.” Magnus nodded and just like that Alec kissed him.
You know what? Screw the rules.