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It was yet another Phight ending in a resounding failure. It was bound to happen. For every victory, there were bound to be many attempts that didn't make the cut.
Regardless, Biograft was becoming exceedingly tired of it.
"THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN," they remarked automatically as the buzzer announced the end of the match. As they tilted their head upwards, they saw the illuminated numbers signifying their horrific defeat. Their team had only managed to amass ten points. The other had successfully maintained over a hundred.
Not only was it a loss, it was an embarrassing loss. One that should be far beneath them. Their top-of-the-line hardware and advanced programming should prevent such a complete defeat from even being possible, given adequate teammates, and their teammates had been plenty functional. Everyone had performed their respective tasks to a satisfactory level... Except for them. They had been the defective one. And they knew exactly why.
Without bothering to exchange words with their teammates, the robot turned and started heading out of the arena without another word. What was there to say? Haphazard apologies would do little to salvage their barely existent relationships-- not like they would be inclined to care. They were a robot, for SFOTH's sake, and a highly impersonal one at best. They were created with the soul purpose of destruction. They were nothing more than that.
At a fundamental level, though, they found that they wanted to be. And they highly suspected that this was the reason for their constant failures. Every hesitation, every slight twinge of feeling in their processors just before a would-be lethal blow... It was debilitating.
They were craving. They wanted-- needed-- something. But they just didn't know what that something was.
They had a purpose.
But that purpose was wrong.
They felt strangely heavy as they pushed past the other phighters. The sound of voices overlapping felt unnecessarily harsh.
RETURN TO FACTORY.
AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
And what after? Another assignment. Another task. More bloodshed. And when the deed was done, when lives had been uprooted or ended, the cycle continued. A grueling, mechanical cycle full of grinding gears and monotony.
No. They wouldn't go home. They wouldn't listen to orders this time.
They needed something else. So for the first time ever, they turned their attention off of Blackrock, off of their responsibilities, and actually looked further.
The world was so much wider than they had ever perceived before. And somewhere out there was the answer. That thing that they so strongly sought out. The thing that would make them feel whole.
They weren't one for the sentimental, but that small act of rebellion made them feel like they truly, genuinely, existed.
The first step to their magical journey of self-discovery, they thought, was to understand what they liked. What their interests were. But it frustrated them to know end that such a seemingly simple task would be so incomprehensible.
As they trailed aimlessly through the crowded Crossroads, they found their eyes darting between every inphernal they passed.
They were just so different from each other. That one was bundled up in scarves and layers as if the comfortable fall heat was just a suggestion; that one played their music so loud in their headphones Biograft could hear the faint thuds of the rhythm as they passed; and that one was admiring something shiny, holding it up in the light so it sparkled.
Every one of them came from the same mold, the same programming, they thought. It fascinated them, how effortlessly different they were without even having to try.
They passed by a variety of shops, colorful fonts fighting for the attention of any passerby. Louigi's... some kind of run down car shop, judging by the state of the vehicles... BoomBloxx, a music store of some kind?
But eventually, one caught their eye. They paused on the sidewalk as they stared up at the sign. Slingshot's Cat Cafe.
They knew Slingshot vaguely. They had fought against him once or twice, though had never seen the phighter on their team. He had always irritated them, pelting them with blows while hovering just barely out of reach. But looking back on their interactions, they almost admired him in equal part. He was... unique. Who else wore cat ears to a potential death match?
Maybe they would find their answers in his establishment. Even if they weren't a fan of cafes, given they couldn't eat anything.
The door opened with the ceremonious ringing of bells. Their head turned, scanning across the entire room in order to take note of all the patrons. There weren't many, which wasn't altogether surprising, considering the time. It was that awkward time between dinner and lunch, where most self-respecting inphernals were either resting or finishing up their final errands of the day.
Ignoring the few occupied tables, they opted to beeline for the front counter. As they approached, they quickly realized that instead of Slingshot, it was Vine Staff taking orders.
She glanced up casually as they approached only to pause, her eyes widening as she fully registered who they were.
"Biograft?" she questioned, sounding almost uneasy, but not particularly unfriendly. "What are you doing here?"
Biograft just looked at her blankly for a second, attempting to properly order the words they had to say. Seeming to mistake their pause for annoyance, Vine Staff quickly backpedaled. "Sorry," she exclaimed quickly, holding up her palms. "I didn't mean to, er, offend you or anything. We just don't see you around here often... or, really, any Blackrock robots." After their continued silence, her expression sharpened slightly into almost suspicion. "So... Why are you here?"
"I HAVE QUESTIONS," Biograft stated, not breaking eye contact. Vine Staff frowned.
"Yeah? What kind of questions?"
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE?"
Vine Staff stared. Biograft stared back.
"...Sorry?" she asked after an awkwardly long pause.
They found themself not understanding her confusion. They had asked a question. Why did she refuse to answer it?
"THE MEANING OF EXISTANCE," they repeated. "WHAT IS IT?"
To their surprise, she laughed. To her credit, she did quickly smother it, but there was an amused glint in her eyes as she leaned forward across the counter.
"Biograft," she said lightly. "I don't know that. Nobody does, really."
"I AM CONFUSED. YOU ARE ALIVE. YOU HAVE EXISTED FOR A LONG TIME. YOU SHOULD KNOW THE REASON BY NOW."
"My... purpose?"
"NO."
Vine Staff squinted at them. "I really don't understand your question."
Biograft was about to respond, a hint of frustration heating their circuits, before she cut them off quickly. "How about we talk about this later? You're holding up the line."
They swiveled their head all the way around, startling the waiting customer behind them into jumping back.
"OH," they said simply, turning back around to face Vine Staff again.
"See me after my shift," is all she said, waving them away. Reluctantly, they left the counter, hesitantly sitting down in a nearby booth. They folded their metal claws on the table and waited.
They lost track of time quickly. Inphernals came and went, and in what they approximated to be thirty seven minutes later, Vine Staff was tapping them lightly on the shoulder.
"Walk with me for a bit!" she said cheerfully, and they wordlessly trailed after her as she left the cafe.
It was darkening out a bit. The streetlights were just beginning to flicker on, casting the crowded walkways in shades of gold and dark contrasting shadows.
"So, you want to know... the 'meaning of existence'," she said without looking over them as they walked. "That's a pretty loaded question, y'know?"
"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW."
"Well, first of all, everybody's meanings are going to be different." She finally turned to look over at them. "It's relative."
"IT IS... INDIVUAL."
"Exactly!"
"I AM NOT GOOD AT BEING INDIVUAL."
Vine Staff's brow creased slightly. "Right, I was meaning to ask you about that... You're a, uh, robot. Why are you wondering this in the first place? Not to be rude or judgmental, but shouldn't you be... I dunno, singleminded?"
Biograft was forced to stop in consider that. "I DO NOT KNOW," they answered eventually. "I HAVE JUST BEEN LIKE THIS."
"For how long?"
"A FEW WEEKS."
"Does that have anything to do with the amount of matches you've been using lately?"
They stared at her. She smiled coyly back at them. "Yeah, I've noticed. I'm pretty sure most people have."
"I SEE." They turned away, lost in thought. If they had made themself that obvious, then it could end up being a problem. After all, they were fairly confident they weren't supposed to be this way. They had an odd gut feeling that this is something they should mostly keep to themself; or at least away from other members of Blackrock.
Apparently picking up on their nervousness, Vine Staff reached out to grab their hand. Her touch was unexpectedly warm, and it immediately startled them out of their thoughts. "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure nobody's thought much of it."
Biograft considered that. They didn't know how inclined they were to believe her, but they nodded anyway.
"HOW DOES ONE DISCOVER WHAT MAKES THEM UNIQUE?" they asked directly, not making an effort to hide their desire to change the subject. Luckily, she seemed content not to push it.
"It's kind of something you figure out over time," she hummed. "But we could... try out some stuff, if you want? See what you like, what you don't. It would be a good start, I think!"
"ARE YOU NOT BUSY?"
"Not for another couple hours. I've got time!"
They found themself glancing up at the sky as they asked, "IS THAT ENOUGH TIME TO FIND MYSELF?"
She shrugged. "Probably not. But it'll be enough to get you started."
"AFFIRMATIVE. LEAD THE WAY."
Vine Staff laughed a bit for a reason they didn't entirely understand before pulling them off in another direction.
They weaved through crowds of people, her grip on their hand still ever-present in the back of their mind. They weren't particularly used to physical contact, as it stood to reason a robot shouldn't need or want it, but it wasn't bad. It was actually kind of comforting.
Would they have seen it the same way before they gained awareness? Or was this another symptom of their current sentience?
They didn't realize Vine Staff was talking to them until she prodded them for a response. They stared blankly at her, electing a sigh out of the phighter.
"SORRY," they said simply.
"I was just asking if you wanted to try out something nature related. I assume you may be unfamiliar with it, and it's a big part of my personal meaning. I wouldn't mind sharing!"
Biograft looked at her for a second longer than was necessary before answering. "THAT WOULD BE SATISFACTORY."
"Come on, then! There's this cute greenhouse a couple streets down that would be a good introduction!"
They had arrived faster than Biograft expected. There was nobody around, and Vine Staff led them through the netted doors casually. The inside was coated in greenery. Leaves spread wide, almost burying the shelves that housed the plants. Vines drapped from the ceilings and scattered soil littered the ground beneath their feet.
They stared at the rainbows of flowers. They all existed in different stages of life. Some flowers were nothing but pale buds clustered in the center of stems, while others sat boldly against the others, petals flared out wide. They reached out to brush the soft edge of one with the tip of their claw, leaning in a bit closer as their head tilted slightly to the side.
"Do you like them?" Vine Staff called energetically from a bit further into the greenhouse. "I take care of them almost every day."
"THEY ARE... COLORFUL."
Vine Staff laughed. "Yeah, they sure are."
Biograft continued to observe. The next flower they touched was straighter, a bit stiffer than the prior. The one after that was ruffled.
They were all different, they noticed.
Was it just an inherent factor of life? That all things that existed should be unique? Because even blossoms that at first seemed to be of the same species had subtle differences that almost seemed obvious in retrospect. This one was missing a petal. This one had a spikier shape. This one had the longest stem.
They let their hand drop. How ridiculous of them, getting jealous of a flower.
As Biograft looked up again, they realized that Vine Staff was almost out of sight. They quickly hurried after her, although they did do their best to not trample any stray stems.
She turned to smile at them as they caught up with her. "You can take your time, if you want. This is about you, after all."
"I HAVE TAKEN A SUFFICIENT PERIOD TO OBSERVE," they announced. "THERE IS NO NEED FOR FURTHER HESITANCE."
Vine Staff's smile faltered a bit, but she obviously made an effort to maintain her demeanor. "That's fine! There's one more thing I want to show you, though." She turned away and continued, leaving Biograft to walk slowly after her, wondering if they had said something wrong.
"These flowers," she started after a moment, her voice almost wistful. "Well, I guess plants are my namesake already, but aside from that, I think this kind of thing is part of my meaning. After all, if I wasn't here, what would become of my plants?"
"I AM CERTAIN SOMEONE ELSE WOULD TAKE CARE OF THEM IN YOUR ABSENSE."
"Maybe." She didn't sound entirely convinced. "But I think they can tell a difference."
"SCIENTIFICALLY-"
"I'm not talking about science, Biograft." She turned a bit, and knocked her fist lightly on their chest plate. "This is about our, ah... feelings. Our sense of self."
Once she removed her hand, they carefully shifted their own to rest over the same area, where a heart would be on any living inphernal.
"IS THAT POSSIBLE FOR ME?" they asked, almost hesitantly. They were nearly afraid of the answer.
Vine Staff paused for a second, which didn't ease Biograft's nerves. "I don't know," she answered simply, and they felt themself deflate. "I just... don't really know how you work. I'm sorry. But..."
She took a step closer to them, peering at the way they were still holding their hand over their chest. A small smile crossed her face as she met their eyes. "If you ask me... I think it's definitely possible."
"THANK YOU." They meant it.
"Just stating the truth." Her eyes were soft. "I'm sure that you're more than your 'programming'. Otherwise, I doubt you would be going on this whole little adventure with me."
She spun, and her smile sharpened into something a bit more teasing. "Unless you've had ulterior motives, and you've been playing me this whole time?"
"NO, OF COURSE NOT. THAT IS NOT AT ALL WHAT I AM DOING."
Vine Staff laughed. "I'm messing with you."
"OH." They almost felt offended, to Vine Staff's apparent amusement.
Fading sunlight streaked the overgrown interior in shades of gold. The further in they went, the more bold the vines got. Biograft found their attempts to not trod over an greenery to be an increasingly difficult task; not particularly helped by the speed at which Vine Staff was leading them.
The walk felt longer than it was, because only moments later Vine Staff had stopped, and Biograft came to a still beside her.
"Here," she said fondly, gesturing to the thing in front of her. "Look at this."
Biograft peered forward, and their optics were greeted by what must have been the largest flower they had ever seen. It spanned the entire back wall of the greenhouse. Its rounded petals were a delicate shade of coral, framing a dark center. The vine that it rested on wound over the shelf that barely seemed to support it.
"IT'S... LARGE," they said bluntly. Vine Staff moved forward, tenderly holding the edge of a leaf in her hand.
"I found it as a sprout," she said softly.
"HOW LONG AGO?"
"Hm... You know what? I don't remember." She beckoned Biograft over, causing them to approach with some reluctance. "It grew fast."
"I CANNOT IDENTIFY THIS FLOWER."
"Me neither!" She beamed up at the robot. "But I think that's what makes it fun! You don't have to understand something to love it."
Biograft was silent. They studied the plant but didn't come any closer. They were scared that they would ruin it, somehow; step on or bump into something that would hurt something that was so dear to Vine Staff.
They didn't understand how a flower could have so much meaning to someone, but they could almost feel it in the way she handled each one with care. And they found they didn't want to do anything to disturb the peace that Vine Staff had found here.
But there wasn't any other reason beyond that. They didn't feel any sort of emotions as they stared at the flowers. They were plants. And they couldn't feel anything beyond appreciation for their beauty.
"So?" she asked after a long moment of silence they hadn't realized they were perpetuating. "Do you like it?"
"...I DON'T KNOW." Biograft tried to answer honestly, especially after all the unnecessary effort she had made to bring them here. "I WANT TO. THE FLOWERS ARE NICE."
"Nothing else?" She seemed a bit disappointed as Biograft shook their head.
"I'M SORRY."
"No, it's okay. You don't have to force yourself to like things. There's no point in lying to yourself when it comes to these sorts of things." She finally dropped her hand away from the flower and turned. "Let's go."
"VINE STAFF?" they asked on their way out of the greenhouse. A slight turn of her head was indication that she heard them. "HOW DID YOU LEARN THAT YOU LIKED PLANTS?"
"It wasn't really an isolated event." She slowed down a bit as they caught up to her, the greenhouse just wide enough for the two to comfortably walk side by side. "I guess I've just always known. It's part of my nature."
"I SEE."
They felt a bit dejected. Was there a chance that what they were looking for- their sense of self- didn't exit in the first place? Were they destined to have no individuality? Was their own nature simply the lack of having one?
Was it possible that no matter what they attempted, they could not defy their intended purpose?
It hurt to think about. It felt unfair. And they almost, almost wished that they had never started feeling these things in the first place. If they hadn't had anything to long for, then they couldn't be disappointed in fruitless results.
Why were they different? What had changed between themself and others of their exact model? Vine Staff had told them they were more than their programming. They must be, for they were sure such a change in their sentience was not intended, but how? It wasn't logical, it didn't make any sense, no matter which angle they approached the question from.
It was complete nonsense and their inability to decode it frustrated them.
Leaving the greenhouse, Biograft was unusually aware of the chill in the air. As night fell over the crossroads, the sun's warmth faded, leaving behind little more than a faint, sinking coldness. For them, it was only a vague sensation on the edge of their consciousness; for Vine Staff, it seemed, it was much more prevalent, judging by the way she tensed up a bit as the wind hit her.
"It's later than I thought it would be," she admitted as the two stood still outside the greenhouse. "I need to head home."
"AH."
"Where are you going to go?"
Biograft didn't respond for a moment. They considered it.
They could return to Blackrock. They didn't doubt that somebody (or multiple somebodies) would be angry with them for their delay, but it would be forgotten about in time. It wasn't that major of a transgression.
And past that...
They could go back. Return to a life that nearly perfectly mirrored the way things had been. But it would never be quite right, and they knew it. Because something told them that the restlessness that they felt wouldn't leave them.
They would never be satisfied.
But they didn't have any other options. Because no matter how they considered it, the one thought that repeated itself over and over again told them that they couldn't defy their purpose. Where else could they go? Inpherno wasn't made for them.
"I AM ALSO GOING TO GO HOME," they said without looking at Vine Staff. The finality of their decision felt suffocating.
"You're sure?" she said cautiously. "Is that... okay for you to do?"
"YES." They didn't elaborate.
They could sense a lot of emotions in her expression. Disappointment was prevalent. But there was also concern, hidden somewhere in there. Then there was confusion and guilt, for a reason they could not decipher.
"I want you to promise me that you won't give up on finding yourself," she said in a firm tone, stepping in front of them so the two were face to face. "Okay?"
"I WON'T."
"Promise."
A promise felt binding. But they also felt like they owed it to her. Especially as they looked directly at her, at the light in her eyes... She cared, she genuinely cared. They couldn't recall anybody ever looking at them like that before.
"I PROMISE."
They found that they cared too.