Work Text:
The blue glow radiating from his monitor painted Kyle’s face a sickly color. Friday night was the prime time for socialization, but that just meant doom-scrolling until you passed out from the lack of sleep or exhaustion (maybe both). He and Stan usually hang out on Fridays, unless that time was consumed by football practice or another date with Wendy. He and Kenny were not the closest, and that was not mentioning that he was probably off sucking face with the third chick this week alone.
And any form of hanging out alone with Eric Cartman sent shivers down his spine.
He ran his hand through his curls while his other hand was occupied with his mouse. Scrolling through the web passed through the quiet time-there was enough content there to feed a starving family for generations.
But tonight was a dull one, and even a website as chaotic and entertaining as 4chan wasn’t cutting it out for him. He clicked on the site, but clicked off just as fast when he was met with the usual edgy remarks and low-resolution images on his frequently visited boards. The website’s soiled state can be replaced with a certain fat kid in his life, and the website alone wouldn’t be enough compared to his offensive nature.
Not that Cartman needed 4chan; 4chan needed Cartman.
He clicked on several other tabs bookmarked on his computer; each one served as a brief distraction from his nasty thoughts.Reddit threads devolved into predictable arguments, YouTube recommendations were nothing but vapid reaction videos, and even the dark corners of the internet seemed to be suffering from a collective case of “mid shit”. He sighed, the sound swallowed by the quiet hum of his computer. Maybe he should just give up and try to sleep. But the thought of lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and replaying the week felt much less appealing than just waiting until he passed out.
His gaze drifted to the chat window in the corner of his screen, the one he rarely used. He’d joined a few random servers for various games and interests, but they were usually filled with strangers he had no connections with or someone looking for a quick date/fuck. He didn’t know what made him end up clicking; it was either the lack of sleep getting to him or the lack of anything else to do.
Like that, he logged out of his “K.B” account and logged into the separate one under his log-in options.
He typed a half-hearted greeting into the “intros” chat of a server dedicated to some obscure indie game he’d downloaded months ago and promptly forgotten. The game wasn’t embarrassing enough to serve as a reason for making a separate account, but the game had enough faggy elements that he wouldn't prefer it connected to his main. It was a visual novel game that had dating sim elements, and he would rather be found dead than anyone finding him in this server as a mutual.
MitzK: Anyone up?
The username was a random string of words he made up on the spot, since he would rather have a separate Discord server account that wasn't associated with him. It was weirdly comforting to have a different identity that didn’t need to follow any morals or ethics he usually presented to himself. This didn’t even mention the close-up profile picture of a flashy character that would label him as either an "otaku" or a basement-dwelling loser. He didn’t care if the random pfp he found off Pinterest was a character from a game/show he didn’t watch- he just thought the design was cool.
Just when he was just going to give up and call it a night, he got a reply.
C.Naz: Yo
C.Naz: U playin?
The username was a string of random characters, probably some kid trying to be cryptic. Kyle hesitated, then typed back:
MitzK: Nah lol, im just bored
MitzK: This server used to be way less dead
C.Naz: Dead servers r the worst- ew.
MitzK: Tell me about it. Been scrolling for hours, nothing. Even 4chan was a bust tonight.
C.Naz: Even 4chan? Lol, u a regular?
MitzK: Nah, not really. Just when I'm bored.
MitzK:Like tonight.
MitzK: You?
C.Naz: Depends.
MitzK: On what?
C.Naz: On if the shits funny or not.
MitzK: Pfft
If his headphones didn’t break last week (thanks to Ike) he would have had some shitty playlist blasting through his ears to block out the awkward silence that was interrupted every one in a while by the alert notification. C.Naz seemed kinda on the drier side- but he would be a hypocrite if he spoke shit. Besides, he just talked to the guy (or girl- or whatever they went by- Kyle didn’t care enough to tap on his profile and check right now.)
C.Naz: So, what kinda stuff u into?
MitzK: Games, I guess. Music. Mostly just wasting time online. You?
C.Naz: Whatever.
MitzK: That's helpful.
C.Naz: I do what I want.
Kyle rolled his eyes, even though the other person couldn’t see him. "Typical," he muttered under his breath. But despite the dismissive tone, there was a strange pull to the conversation.
MitzK: So, you just join random servers and talk to strangers?
C.Naz: Sometimes. Keeps things interesting.
MitzK: Interesting how?
C.Naz: You’ll see.
Kyle frowned at the cryptic response. What was that supposed to mean? He hesitated, then typed:
MitzK: You’re weird.
C.Naz: Maybe.
He dragged his mouse over C.naz's icon, a flicker of curiosity overriding his initial hesitation. The profile was sparse: "cis dude- DNI annoying bitches who think puzzle games are good" and a glaringly red aesthetic. The banner, a solid, almost aggressive red, matched the profile picture—a shadowy portrait shot. It was a side profile, the subject's face partially obscured by a tangle of red curls. Only the highlighted curve of a hooked nose was visible.
It was clear, judging by the carefully curated anonymity and the deliberate choice of imagery, that C.naz had created this account for the same reason he had: bored as fuck dude.
MitzK: So, what kind of games don't you like?
He typed the question, a sudden impulse pushing him. He wanted to see if he could get a rise out of this cryptic stranger.
C.Naz: Puzzle games.
MitzK: Yeah, you mentioned that on your profile lol
MitzK: Anything else?
C.Naz: Anything that's not fun.
MitzK: That's… broad T-T
C.Naz: I like what I like. I don't like what I don't like. Simple.
MitzK: So- no puzzle games, no 'not fun' games. What about...
MitzK: dating sims?
Kyle typed the question with a smirk, knowing it was a long shot, but he was curious. He could tell how much C.Naz hated anything that wasn't "manly". Besides- if he didn’t get a friend by the end of this night- atleast he got to troll someone and ruin their night.
C.Naz: Dating sims? Fucking gay.
Kyle snorted, a genuine laugh escaping him. "Figures."
MitzK: What about farming simulators?
C.Naz: Are you trying to piss me off?
MitzK: Maybe.
C.Naz: Fuck you.
MitzK: Make me.
C.Naz: …
C.Naz: You're annoying.
MitzK: You're cryptic.
C.Naz: I'm not cryptic.
MitzK: You literally said "You'll see" earlier.
C.Naz: I meant it.
MitzK: Meanie..
C.Naz: Shut up fag
The conversation devolved into a series of curt replies and dismissive one-liners, a strange, almost tense, rhythm. Kyle found his fingers flying across the keyboard, his boredom replaced by a prickling sense of… something. He couldn't quite name it. C.naz's constant negativity, the way he seemed to bristle at every suggestion, felt strangely familiar. He kept on typing till he felt his hands all clammy and his eyes burn red.
He shook his head, dismissing the thought. It was ridiculous. He was just bored, and C.naz was just some random internet troll. If they wanna have fun by riling others up- then so can he.
They conversed about random shit until their conversation moved to DMs, and that's when it got slightly more personal. They were both 16 and C. Naz lived with his mom (divorced parents?) He mentioned coming from a Jewish background, and C.naz took the opportunity to make a couple of anti-Semitic jabs. It was nothing compared to the wild shit Cartman said to him on the daily, so he just played along with his own “fatherless” jokes.
A yawn ripped through him, and he glanced at the clock in the corner of his screen. 2:17 AM.
His eyelids felt heavy, and the words on the screen were starting to blur.
MitzK: Shit, it's late-2 AM. I gotta crash.
C.naz: Damn, 2 AM here too.
Kyle blinked, surprised. "No way," he mumbled, "same time zone?"
MitzK: Hold up, you're on MST Coast time too?
C.naz: Yep.
MitzK: Small world. Or maybe just a colossal internet.
C. Naz: Maybe the internet is just a small world pretending to be big.
Kyle cracked up, a tired but genuine laugh. "Deep," he typed, his fingers hitting the keys more slowly now.
MitzK: Alright, I'm out. Night, C.naz.
C.naz: Later, Jew.