Work Text:
It had been 13 hours. 13 hours since the portal test. 13 hours since Fiddleford left me. 13 hours since I discovered where the portal actually led. I walk to the sink, washing my glasses. I always know when he’s possessed me because my glasses get smudged. After washing my glasses (and hands) I sit down in the living room.
My hands are bruised from Bill’s attempts to get into the portal room. The retina scanner works well, but I feel like I’m missing something. I don’t really know what the Nightmare Realm is. All I know is that Bill wants to take over this world. But this is Bill. My muse. What could he do that would really be that bad?
Maybe I can use Bill’s possession to my advantage, maybe I can use it to get answers from him. I take out my journal and write in it:
My muse, plea
Cipher, I need answ
Dear Bill,
You are my muse, and you have always helped me when I needed it. I refuse to believe that this “Nightmare Realm” crap is a betrayal. What is the Nightmare Realm, and why is it so important that this gate is open?
The strange thing is, I’ve never actually addressed Bill directly in my journal. But everything about me is strange. This town is strange. Bill is strange. And if this portal is open, the entire world will be strange.
I lay down on the couch. My all-nighters are catching up to me, and it’s easy to drift into a slumber.
—
A few hours later, I wake up. The first thing I do is check the clock. It’s almost noon, which means I’ve only been napping for a few hours. My glasses are smudged again, and by now, I’ve given up, and I just take them off entirely- I don’t need them to see, I only need them to see well.
Even more annoying, my eye is starting to bleed. I wipe the blood away and check to see if there’s an answer to my message. Sure enough, there is, and oddly enough, it’s written in perfect sans serif lettering.
Heya, Fordsy! Good thing you’re still open to talking things through, even with that whole retina scanner thing. Well, I suppose I didn’t really inform you much about the new world we’ll be ruling together. Oopsie! My bad.
The Nightmare Realm is full of a bunch of freaks. Like you! And me! HAHAHA! We’re going to topple all existing structures of power and I’ll make you a god!
See ya soon, Sixer! In physical form!
PS: You stink! Take a shower! The most you could do with your meatbag is maintain it!
I chuckle after reading the PS. That’s Bill. I write an response:
Thanks for being willing to talk things out, Bill. I knew I could count on my muse. But I still have a few questions.
You say you are going to topple all existing structures of power, and I completely understand. The US government is incompetent and needs to be replaced with something less vulnerable to corruption. But I was just wondering what you will do with the previous leaders once you take over. I want to make sure that my government will not unjustly hurt or kill people.
Your beloved,
Stanford Pines
PS: I’ll take a shower right after this.
I set down my journal, and go to take a shower. I’ve been working on the portal for so long, I’ve forgotten a lot of basic self-care. Unfortunately, all my grant money has been used up, and I can’t afford hot water, but when you’ve dated a siren, you get used to cold water.
After my shower, I realize how hungry I am. I take some time to cook an egg and eat it. I eat quickly, wanting to go back to sleep to see what Bill will write to me.
This time, I sleep in my bed (which I often forget that I have), waiting for Bill to leave me another letter.
—
When I wake up, my journal is right beside me, and I open it to see the letter from Bill. Still in that perfect sans serif font. Dream gods are really good at lettering.
Fordsy, I totally get it! My home dimension had some really corrupt laws, which stopped me from reaching my full potential, kinda like your situation! All those normal people, holding you back. Who needs em? All they’ve done is laugh at you and destroy your self-confidence. I don’t see why you should worry about if they survive.
But I’ll make sure this new Earth is the perfect place for freaks! A safe haven where everyone can be as weird as they want and no one can question them! Nobody will ever make fun of you again! It’ll be a paradise! Forget those normal lowly people. Become a god with me, your muse.
Can’t wait to rule the world with you, my beloved Sixer.
PS: You should really go back to wearing that brown sweater over a cyan shirt! Looks super cute!
I smile when I read the PS. He’s right, it does look good on me. And since it’s now winter, it’ll be a good idea to get something a bit warmer to wear than my usual white button-up.
About the rest of the letter… I hate to admit it, but he’s right. All normal people have ever done is limit me. And while I would like to prevent unnecessary death, it does seem like a paradise.
I start writing my response:
Bill, you really are the best muse I could have. Ruling the universe with you would be delightful. There are some things that I will miss from my old life, but none of them matter when compared to you.
PS: I won’t even have to pay taxes now!
I smile, putting my journal down. This isn’t how I expected my deal with Bill to go, but it’s so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. Paradise, with my muse and nobody to bother us-
Ding
The doorbell. For a moment, I forget that I’m not in that world right now. I walk downstairs to check who’s at my door.
I open the door, and at first, I see nothing, but then, I look down.
“Hello Uncle Stanford!” Two 12 year old children stand at my doorstep, suitcases in their hands.
Since when am I an uncle? Shermie has kids?