Work Text:
“Woah-oh, we’re halfway there!
Woah-oh, livin on a prayer!”
Tommy leaned back on the stepladder that he was currently standing on, critically eyeing the wall he’d just painted. ‘That corner needs another coat’ he thought, leaning down and refilling the roller. It’d just annoy him later. And OK, it wasn’t his house, and his mom probably wouldn’t notice that tiny little patch that looked a little lighter than the rest, but he’d know, and he’d probably find his eye wandering to it every time he visited from now until eternity.
Leaning forward, he pressed the roller to the wall, singing along to the “golden oldies” as Evan called them, but Tommy didn’t care. Give him some cheesy eighties rock any day over the crap that Evan classed as music. Taylor Swift his ass. The best music to listen to while you were working was something you could belt out at the top of your lungs, pretending that your paint roller was a guitar during the guitar solos.
“We’ve gotta hold on to what we’ve got.
It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or-"
“Not…” Tommy finished lamely as the song stopped prematurely. Hearing footsteps approach him, he turned around to see his fiancé standing behind him, his arms folded, looking decidedly unimpressed, while Eddie watched from the doorway, a paint can dangling from each hand, a paint tray nestled under his arm.
“Really?” Evan asked, his eyebrows raised. “I leave you alone to go and pick up supplies and this is what you decide to do?”
Tommy shrugged, climbing down the two steps, his feet landing on the carpet below. “Needed done.” He replied. There was a lot that needed done in the house. The day his mom had left for her two-week trip to Greece, he’d come over and started to make a list of it all. And it was a long list. It started with painting the living room, and then it just grew. Every single room needed something done to it. There were loose tiles and doors hanging from cabinets in the kitchen. The bathroom had a tap that wouldn’t stop dripping and a bath that desperately needed resealed. His old bedroom had been left as it was, despite the fact he’d moved out almost 20 years ago. There were clothes still hanging in the closet and posters still on the walls (he hadn’t touched those yet, because he knew that wall would probably need repainted too because of discoloration, and that was another thing on the ever-growing list). The garden was a mess, the fence needed replaced, the grass was way too overgrown, and there were weeds everywhere. It was going to be a long two weeks, especially since they both had to work too…
“I know it did, but up a ladder, painting, really? You could have fallen-”
“Evan, it’s two feet.” Tommy sighed. He climbed up higher to get into the damn chopper at work. Not that he wanted to say that right at that moment, because that would just be another argument, and he didn’t trust Evan not to call his Captain, the Chief, or whoever else would listen.
“And then there’s the fumes…”
“The windows are wide open.” Tommy pointed out, having pushed them open as far as he could before he’d even opened the paint. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not fine!” Evan exclaimed, and Tommy let out a sigh. He should have known that he’d be like this. The past week had been a complete nightmare. Everything he ate had been examined to make sure it wasn’t on “the list”. He was interrogated every time he got back from work, despite the fact that he’d been grounded until he had his full medical next week. But even if he’d been allowed to fly, he didn’t think that his stomach could take it right now. Every time he turned around at home, it felt like Evan was hovering nearby. It was getting very old very quickly, and he still had 27 weeks left. “Eddie, back me up here.”
Now it was two against one. Great. He turned to their friend, who looked from Tommy to Evan and back again, confusion written all over his face. “Um, what’s…why?” He asked.
“Evan knocked me up, and now he thinks I can’t do anything for myself.” Tommy replied sullenly, and Evan rolled his eyes.
“Great way to put it. And it’s not that I don’t think you can do anything, it’s just that-”
“That you don’t want me to.” Tommy finished. “I’m a grown man, not an invalid, Evan. I know what I can and can’t eat, because I’ve read that part in the damn book. I know what I can and can’t do, and the chances of me falling off the ladder or succumbing to paint fumes are pretty much zero, so will you please stop!” Tommy yelled. “I’m going to go upstairs, don’t bother following me.”
Pushing past the two men, he trudged upstairs to his old room and sat down on the floor, carefully pulling books out of the bookcase and placing them into separate piles. Most of them could go to the thrift store, he reckoned, but there were a few he wanted to keep, mainly his Sherlock Holmes collection, his first edition Harry Potters (although he could probably sell them for a decent price) and a few others that he remembered reading and re-reading as a kid.
Sensing movement behind him, he turned his head to see the door slowly open, and he let out a sigh. He wasn’t ready to talk to Evan right now, as childish as that may sound. He would, eventually, but he just wanted space right now. If Evan came in, he knew it’d just end up turning into another argument.
“Go away, Evan, I’m busy.” He called through the gap in the door, and it stopped opening long enough for a voice to reply. A voice that was definitely not his fiancé's.
“It’s just me, can I come in?” Eddie asked quietly, and Tommy nodded, then realized that Eddie couldn’t actually see him.
“Yeah, come in.” He replied, shuffling over enough to give his friend enough room to stand or sit beside him, whatever he wanted, and tentatively, Eddie crept in and sat beside him, studying the books in front of them.
“Hey, can I borrow this?” He asked, pulling out an old copy of The Catcher in the Rye , “Chris is studying it at school, I meant to try and find him a copy for home.”
“Sure, take it.” It was just going to the thrift store anyway. After completely dissecting it in ninth grade, he had no desire to read it ever again. “Are you just here to raid my room, or…?” He teased, and Eddie let out a small chuckle.
“Nah, although, full disclosure, I will let Chris raid the boxes before I take them to the recycling center. Maybe not those, though…” He said, motioning to the half-naked women on the walls.
“Those are being thrown in the fireplace.” Tommy laughed. He had honestly forgotten about those until he’d done his sweep of the house a few days ago, and ‘throw away the posters’ was the first item on the ‘Tommy’s room’ list. “Did Evan send you up to check on me?”
“Nah, he thinks I’ve just gone to the bathroom. I spoke to him, told him to back off a little. I know he’s excited about the baby, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to either of you, but he can be a bit…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words.
“Overbearing? Yeah, I got that. Don’t think you need to fight my battles though; I’d have handled it.” Tommy tried to sound grateful, because he knew that Evan would listen to Eddie a hell of a lot more than him when it came to this stuff. The perks of having a mutual friend, he guessed, although he did feel bad that Eddie was getting caught in the middle of all this.
“I know you would have, but I figured softening him up a little might help.” Eddie replied. “I, uh…” He started, taking a breath and staring right ahead, wringing his hands together nervously. “Can I ask you something?”
Tommy placed his hand on Eddie’s arm, which seemed to calm whatever nerves were threatening to overwhelm him. “You know you can ask me anything.”
“OK, so, how, uh…well, you came out when you were around my age, right? And you dated women before that, almost married one, even. How did you realize you were gay? I mean these…” He waved his free hand at the posters on the wall, “They don’t exactly scream gay teenager.”
“Yeah, more like horny teenager.” Tommy joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Nah, I hung them up more for the cars than the women.” He admitted. “As for figuring it out, well, I guess I always knew in some way, but any time I caught myself having feelings for guys, I’d play it off. Tell myself I was just admiring him. Like the guys I looked at were always the same. Tall, muscular, strong. And I convinced myself I wanted to be like them, not be with them. And even if I had known, well, my asshole dad probably would have thrown me out if I’d said so. He’d come home and criticize anything that he deemed remotely “gay”. Here, look in this.” He handed Eddie a wallet that was bulging with discs, and opening it, Eddie flicked through it to see it was filled with DVDs of things like Clueless, Pretty Woman, Notting Hill, Dirty Dancing, Sleepless in Seattle...basically a whole collection of rom-coms and ‘chick flicks'. “Yeah, I used to hide those from him and watch them in my room. He’d have beat my ass if he knew...” He trailed off. “Man, I haven’t seen some of those in forever.” He sighed.
“You should.” Eddie smiled slightly. “I’m sure Buck would love to watch them with you. You know he’s a sucker for rom-coms. You have no idea how many he’s made me watch over the years.”
“Yeah, maybe I will.” Tommy replied, sitting the folder on the “keep” pile beside him. “So, yeah, my dad, he was totally homophobic. He tried, I guess, when I came out, but I could always see the disappointment in his eyes when mom or my sister asked if I was seeing anyone. He’ll probably fucking disown me when he finds out about this.” He laughed bitterly, pressing his hand to his bloated stomach, the only outward sign that their baby was growing in there. “I was brought up being told being gay was wrong, that ‘real men’ married women and provided for their family, that kind of old-fashioned bullshit. So, I did what I was supposed to – started dating Abby, got engaged to her. I did love her, she was an amazing woman and a great friend, but the closer we got to the wedding, the worse I felt. I didn’t want it, but I didn’t know why. It felt like I was just doing what I was supposed to, not what I wanted, and I hated it. I called off the wedding, and I felt terrible for her. She was devastated, but I knew I had to, or I’d just hurt her in the end. I went out one night, accidentally landed in a gay bar and ended up kissing a guy, and it was like everything just clicked into place. I came out not long after that.” He explained, frowning at the memory of leaving his ex-fiancé. She had been crying, begging him not to do this to her, but he knew now that it was the best thing that could have happened to her. According to Evan she had a fiancé, well, she was probably married by now, two stepdaughters, and a happy life. One she wouldn’t have had if Tommy had stayed on that freight train and married her like he was “supposed to”. “So, why do you ask? Are you…?” He asked tentatively, not wanting to force the man out of the closet if he didn’t want it, but there was obviously something there that had made him ask that initial question.
“Yeah, I think so. Like I’ve always been with women, but it seemed more out of duty than for me. Shannon…Shannon was my best friend. We were young, stupid, horny teenagers, and then she got pregnant, and we were basically forced into marriage. Then we spent more time apart than together. When we finally got back together it ended in disaster. If she hadn’t died, she’d have divorced me, so…” He shrugged. “Ana and Marisol, well, I guess it was more important for me to find Chris a stepmother than finding happiness for myself. After he came home from Texas, I found myself looking at guys, wondering what it’d be like to be with one, what kissing them would feel like, what sex would feel like. And I, uh, I kinda…downloaded a dating app and went on a date with one. And it felt so much easier than dating a woman. Kissing and sleeping with him was amazing, it felt like it’s what I’d been looking for all this time. I mean, it didn’t work out, but I kinda want to do it again.” Eddie finished quietly, and almost immediately, Tommy wrapped his arms around Eddie’s back and pulled him into him tightly. “I’ve been looking at the whole Kinsey thing and I think I’m like a five? Like, I loved having sex with women but dating them always felt like a chore. With that guy, I dunno, it was totally different. I actually enjoyed dating him.” He admitted. “Like, I can appreciate an attractive woman, but I don’t really want to be with one.”
“Well, you know, you don’t have to figure that out right now.” Tommy reassured him. “Take your time, date around, find out what you want and don’t want in a relationship.”
“Yeah, I guess so... I, uh, I better get back downstairs before Buck comes looking, said I was only going to the bathroom.” Eddie replied, starting to pull himself to his feet. “Promise you won’t tell Buck? I want to do it myself.”
“My lips are sealed.” He smiled, watching as Eddie started to head to the door. “And Eddie?”
Eddie turned around to face Tommy, glancing at him expectantly. “I’m proud of you.” He said, making the man blush slightly, and instantly he knew that, like him, Eddie had probably never heard that from his father growing up. And yeah, there were only a few years between them, but suddenly he felt strangely protective over the man.
“Eds, I need you!” Evan called from downstairs, and Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Give me a yell when you’ve figured out what you’re getting rid of, and I’ll throw it in the truck.” Eddie said quietly before thundering downstairs, and Tommy, uncomfortable from sitting on the floor (because, let’s face it, he wasn’t twenty anymore), climbed onto the bed and lay back, staring at the ceiling, soon feeling himself start to doze off.
“Just ten minutes.” He muttered to himself. “Then I’ll get started again.”
---
Sarah Ross (neé Kinard), pulled up at the familiar house in her rented car behind a huge truck and pulled out her house keys. Walking to the door, she put the key in the lock, and then frowned when she found the door was already open, loud music playing from the living room. It was supposed to be empty, according to her mom, who she spoke to a few days ago, because she was on vacation, and dad was...well, God knows where her father was living now. Mom didn’t seem to either know, nor care. But she was proud of her for finally deciding to take the plunge and divorce him. The fights between them when she was growing up were horrible, and she hadn’t understood why they hadn’t gone their own ways a long time ago. She’d put it down to “staying together for the kids”, but she was the youngest, the last to leave home, and she’d left almost twenty years ago, so it was anyone’s guess why they’d hung on so long.
“Hello?” She called out, pulling out her phone, dialing 911, all ready to press the button to connect to the emergency services. “Who’s here?”
A pair of feet walked through from the living room, attached to maybe the cutest guy that Sarah had ever seen. Around six feet tall, she reckoned, with dark hair, a strand hanging over his forehead, dark stubble decorating his face, a pair of round, rosy cheeks and a pair of devastatingly dark eyes. He was dressed in a pair of jeans that hugged his thighs tightly, and a vest that accentuated his strong arms and left nothing to the imagination underneath it. Exactly the kind of guy she’d go for, if, you know, she wasn’t happily married, of course.
“Hey.” He said, furrowing his brow in confusion. “You are…?”
“Oh, I’m Sarah, Elena’s daughter.” Sarah replied in way of explanation, but this just seemed to confuse him even more. “She said I could stay here while she was gone?” She stopped just short of asking who he was, and what he was doing there. And the cute guy nodded before turning his head back to the living room.
“Hey, Buck?” He called, and within seconds, Evan popped his head around the door, then strode full pelt towards her, wrapping her in a massive hug before she even had time to say hi.
“Sarah! What are you doing here?” He grinned. “Sorry, this is my friend, Eddie. Tommy kinda bullied us into decorating while your mom was gone. Eddie, this is Tommy’s sister, she lives in Vermont.” He explained to Eddie, letting Sarah go so that she could shake his hand. “Tommy didn’t say you were coming.”
“It was all kinda last minute. I called mom, but she’s obviously not here, and I guess she forgot to tell him.” That was just like her, though. Sarah had lost count of the number of times she’d called and gotten all the gossip about everyone, and then, just as they were about to hang up, she’d dropped something that she really should have led with. Like last week, she’d heard all about the woman down the street going into hospital, the aunt who was selling up and moving to a retirement community, the guy that Sarah went to school with who was now on his third wife and fifth or sixth kid…and when she’d finally finished all that, she’d told her that she’d thrown dad out and asked for divorce, as if it were an afterthought. “Had a week off, and with Trent deployed until August, I figured I’d take a trip back home. Got in a couple of hours ago, I forgot how bad the traffic in the city was.” And forgot how long it took to get from the terminal, even though she didn’t have any checked baggage, and forgot how long the line always was at the car rental place…she guessed she’d just blocked it out of her mind after last time.
“Yeah, it’s a total nightmare.” Cute guy, Eddie agreed. “I thought El Paso traffic was bad until I came here.” So that’s where that accent came from.
“Tell me about it!” She exclaimed. “Tommy at work?”
“Nah, he’s asleep upstairs, or he was last time I checked on him, which was about ten minutes ago.” Evan replied. “He’s been really tired lately, hopefully it won’t last too long. Between that and the morning sickness...” He trailed off, then his eyes widened, and Sarah realized that Evan didn’t know if she knew or not.
“It’s fine, he told me. You guys must really be excited!”
“I can’t wait!” Evan replied, ushering her into the living room. “Sorry, if I’d known you were coming, we’d have left the living room until next week.” He apologized. Sarah’s eyes fell on the furniture that had been pushed into the middle of the room, the tarpaulin draped over, well, everything, including the carpet, and the stepladders, paint cans and rollers arranged around the edges.
“It’s fine, I brought my laptop, and I have a bed upstairs, I can watch TV up there tonight.” She reassured him. “And besides, it beats a hotel. I did offer to book one for the week because mom wasn’t here, but she said that Nonna would just yell at me.” She hadn’t been yelled at by her grandmother for a long time, probably years, but jeez, even at almost 90, she was terrifying when she started.
“Yeah, don’t want that. She yelled at me last week for knocking up your brother.”
“Welcome to the family, Evan.” She laughed. “That’s a rite of passage. Just means she loves you.” And why wouldn’t she? Evan was beautiful, charming, funny, kind…basically everything she hoped her big brother would find in a partner. From her last visit at the end of last year, she knew they were so well suited, and that Evan fitted into the family perfectly. “Alright, let me grab my bags and take them upstairs and I’ll come help.” she offered. “Three heads are better than two, right?”
---
“I swear to God, a loose turkey in Pasadena!” Eddie heard Buck exclaim from the living room where he and Sarah were doing something, he wasn’t sure what. He couldn’t see from his spot in the kitchen, where he was trying to fix one of the cabinets that just wouldn’t close, no matter how hard they’d tried. “Our captain volunteered us to catch it, muttering something about a chicken with a blade, and there we were, I’m throwing food at it, Eddie’s holding the thing that fires the net...”
“Hey, Buck, dinner’s almost here!” He called as soon as the notification from the DoorDash app flashed up on his phone. “Wanna wake Sleeping Beauty up there?”
“I’ll do it.” Sarah offered. That made sense, to be fair, she hadn’t seen her brother in months, it’d be a nice surprise for him at least. And besides, she probably wanted to talk to him without him or Buck listening in.
Eddie waited until he heard footsteps heading upstairs before he pulled himself to his feet and walked to the doorway, leaning against the frame. Glancing at his best friend, he took a deep breath. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.” He started shakily. This was it, it was now or never, and it was absolutely terrifying. He didn’t know why, though. It wasn’t as if Buck was going to hate him, he was bi himself, he’d be more than supportive. But saying it out loud to him, it kinda made it feel a little more real. Buck nodded and pulled the plastic cover from the couch and sat down, motioning for Eddie to do the same.
“So, you know I’ve been going to therapy since Chris came back, right?” Eddie started as soon as he’d sat down, and Buck nodded. “Well, I’ve been working through some stuff about myself over the past few months, and I thought I should tell you, because, well, you’re my friend, and I figured you’d tell me. In fact, you did tell me something similar, and now it’s my turn and...and I’m rambling. Sorry.” He apologized, quickly realizing that Buck didn’t have the faintest idea what he was saying. “OK, deep breath.” He muttered to himself, and taking one, he turned his head, so his eyes met earnest blue ones. “I was talking about Shannon, and Ana, and Marisol, and even Kim, and it got me thinking, wondering, what they all had in common, and most of them I saw as Chris’ mother, not as a partner. And now Chris is growing up, I guess he doesn’t really need another mom. Not that he needed one in the first place, as he was quick enough to tell me. So, Frank encouraged me to think about what I wanted in a partner, put myself first, for once in my life, and I guess I figured it out because-”
He stopped abruptly as a thud came from above them, quickly followed by Sarah frantically yelling their names, and without another word, the two men jumped up and ran towards the stairs, their conversation forgotten.
--
The first thing Tommy felt as he was awoken from his slumber was the bed dipping slightly beside him, then a hand running through his hair. Not Evan’s, though, he knew the feel of his hand, he felt it every morning when Evan tried to wake him up. This one was smaller, daintier. Slowly opening one eye, he saw a familiar blue one peering down at him, one he hadn’t seen in months.
“Come on, Toto, time to get up, it’s dinner time.” She called softly, using the nickname she’d given him when they were kids, when his favorite movie had been The Wizard of Oz. Thomas had been shortened to Tommy by his parents, and then Toto by Sarah, after Dorothy’s black terrier, and it had stuck well into his teen years.
“Hey.” He groaned sleepily, his throat feeling scratchy, and he reached over for the bottle of water that had magically appeared on his nightstand (or more likely, been left by one of the guys while he was asleep). Taking a few sips, he pulled himself up on the bed, trying to ignore the spinning in his head. “When’d you get here?” He asked.
“Couple of hours ago, we didn’t want to wake you, but you need to eat.” she said, sounding so much like their mother that it scared him a little. “How are you feeling?”
“Honestly?” He asked, and she nodded. “Like shit. Can’t keep much down, tired all the time, most of my time at work is spent cleaning and restocking, headaches, my chest fucking hurts, and I feel huge already.” He sighed, pulling his t-shirt up ever so slightly to show his bloat, and she smiled sympathetically at him.
“Hey, it’ll be worth it in the end.” And deep down, Tommy knew she was right, that he’d forget about it all once it was all over and their son or daughter in his arms, but right now, it absolutely sucked. And he really, really wasn’t looking forward to the next round of symptoms.
“I know.” He sighed, throwing his legs out of the bed, narrowly missing his sister, and sat up properly now that some of the dizziness had subsided. “OK, let’s go eat.” Getting to his feet, he took a step away from the bed, then felt himself start to sway. He could swear he heard his sister say something, but she sounded muffled and far away. Arms wrapped around his back, and he was pulled back slightly, presumably to get him back onto the bed, but a blinding pain shot through his head before he could sit down, and he felt himself start to fall before everything went black.
---
“Tommy, can you hear me?” Eddie called, and Tommy let out a groan in reply. “Hey, bud, welcome back.” Eddie smiled warmly, “You good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lied. He wasn’t fine. His head hurt and he felt sick. Again. “Just fainted, s’all.” Eddie eyed Tommy critically as he tried to lift his head, then laid it back down, on the floor.
“Still feeling dizzy?” he asked, watching as Tommy’s hands started to shake. “Feeling sick?”
“Yes and yes.” Tommy admitted weakly. “Can barely keep anything down these days.”
“OK, you’re probably just dehydrated and have a low sugar level, so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re going to sit you up, find something sugary to drink, and that should help a little. By that time, the ambulance should be here, and they can push some fluids.” Eddie explained, and Tommy started to protest. He didn’t want to go to the hospital, he was fine . He just needed to drink more and try and not puke every time he ate. That was all. And he could call his OB in the morning, maybe she could suggest something to help. Glancing up at Evan, who was talking on the phone, he tried to give him a pleading look, but his fiancé shook his head.
“Baby, Eddie’s right. And I know you think I’ve been overbearing lately, and maybe I have, but I’m insisting this time.” He interjected, covering the bottom of his phone with his hand as Sarah pushed past him and ran out of the room. “You need to look after yourself and the baby.” And he knew Evan was right, but he really didn’t want to admit it. “Yeah, I’m still here…yes, he definitely does need an ambulance. Look, I’m a firefighter with the 118, and I have an off-duty medic here with me. My fiancé can barely sit up, let alone get off the floor, he needs IV fluids...Do you want to talk to the medic? Because he’ll tell you the exact same thing.” Evan sighed as he glanced at Tommy’s pale face, then sat down beside him, taking his hand and stroking it gently. “Look, is Josh Russo working today?...Well, can you get him on the phone please?” He asked, knowing that Josh would be infinitely more helpful than this guy, who seemed to be having some sort of power trip right now.
The door opened again, and a can of Coke was thrust into Eddie’s hand. The bucket that usually lived under the sink was placed beside Tommy, and slowly, Eddie and Evan helped him to sit up. Tommy could see Evan’s disapproving look, probably thinking about the caffeine content, but all it took was Eddie to give him a look and he held his hand up in surrender before turning back to the phone and talking again, presumably to Josh, since his whole demeanor had changed from being slightly confrontational to somewhat more friendly. After a few moments, he announced that the 118 were on their way.
---
“Can you just, you know, stop moving your arm?” Buck hissed as the IV pump started beeping for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past half hour. Pressing the call button yet again, he knew that the nurses were absolutely going to hate them, if they didn’t already.
The 118 had, as usual, arrived ridiculously fast. Hen had gotten upstairs first and had pretty much demanded that Tommy go to the hospital, despite his protests that he was fine , and his begging Hen to “just run a line”, because Eddie was more than capable of keeping an eye on it and taking it down when he was done. To be honest, it hadn’t taken much for her to convince him. All she had to do was give him that look. The one that Buck was sure she reserved for Denny and Mara (and occasionally, Buck, when he was being stubborn), and he’d caved.
Giving reassurances that no, she wouldn’t tell anyone about the baby, especially no one in Harbor, she would swear Ravi to secrecy, and yes, she was extremely happy for them, she’d given him a quick hug in the back of the ambulance when they finally arrived at the hospital, and told Buck to message her with an update.
“I can’t drink and keep my arm straight, Evan.” Tommy huffed, “I have one in each arm, in case you haven’t noticed, what do you want me to do? Hold the cup with my chest and use a straw?”
At least he was feeling well enough to be his usual sarcastic self, Buck thought, those IVs were obviously working. One in each arm – saline because he was severely dehydrated, and glucose, because his levels were way, way too low.
Rolling his eyes, Buck pulled out his phone to check his messages. “Eddie’s called Harbor to tell them you won’t be in tomorrow, and your sister says that she’s convinced your mom not to fly back home, and your grandmother not to come and move in with us.” He announced.
“Good. But I could still go to work tomorrow.” Tommy replied, because all he really needed was the fluids and meds. And it wasn’t as if he was even doing anything at work anyway. Being grounded at Harbor sucked.
“Will you just stop?” Buck sighed. “You’re pushing yourself way too hard. And it’s not like your captain won’t understand why you're not there.”
“Evan’s right, Tommy.” A female voice came from the doorway, and the two men looked up to see Dr. Johnson standing there, Tommy’s chart and a piece of paper in her hand. “You need to rest, look after yourself and your baby, OK?”
“But…”
“No buts, doctor’s orders.” Buck ordered, and Tommy let out a groan.
“And,” Dr. Johnson added, “take it from me, if you’re given the opportunity to put your feet up, take it. Even after the baby’s born. I’m going to sign you off for a week to start off with, and if you feel you need more time, just call my office and I’ll send an email to your boss.” Tommy bit back the urge to argue that he wouldn’t, mainly because Buck was glaring at him and assuring the doctor that he would, in fact, take all the time he needed. “Now, from what the doctors have told me, it looks like you have a case of severe morning sickness. The good news is that it should probably go away on its own, usually between 12 and 20 weeks-”
“So, I might have another eleven weeks of this?” Tommy interrupted. Eleven weeks seemed like a lifetime away. Hell, three weeks more of feeling like total crap felt like forever.
“Or it could be over before you know it.” Buck added, noticing that the doctor was trying to smile, but dealing with a stubborn, argumentative Tommy was hard. He knew, he’d dealt with it so many times before.
“And there’s medication to help, right?” He suggested helpfully, and the doctor nodded.
“Absolutely. We can get you started on anti-nausea meds, I have some nutritional drinks that you can take until you’re able to eat normally again, since you’ve lost weight since last week, and there’s a list of things you can try, like eating little and often, eating foods that contain ginger, and acupressure bands. But the most important thing to do is rest.” She advised, handing Buck a leaflet that she’d brought with her. “Now, I’m advising you stay here tonight while we treat the dehydration, and then you can go home. And while I’m here, I’m going to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, OK?” She asked, and Tommy’s eyes fell on the small, handheld instrument in her other hand. Lifting up his hospital gown, he shivered as the cold gel was rubbed on his stomach, and Evan grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. It wasn’t long before they heard the rhythmic thud, and Tommy glanced up at his fiancé to see tears welling up in his eyes.
“For a big, strong firefighter, you’re so soft-hearted, you know that, right?” Tommy teased.
“Ssh.” Buck hushed him. “Listen to our baby.” And Tommy had to admit it was an aweing sound. He felt tears pricking his own eyes, and he glanced down at his stomach, the nausea he’d been feeling seeming so much more insignificant every second. And he knew everyone was right, after all, what was eleven weeks compared to a lifetime?
18:05
Lucy: Thanks for the overtime Kinard. I could do with the money.
Tommy: No problem, thanks for covering. They said I’ll be out for at least a week L
Lucy: Good, learn to put yourself first for once. Have they admitted you?
Tommy: Yeah, settled in my private suite at Grand Hotel Cedars-Sinai. Evan’s gone to get stuff from home, thank God. I love him, but he’s driving me crazy.
Lucy: He’s just worried about you. Hey, what room are you in? I’m in the neighborhood visiting my cousin, I can drop in, bring you some of those weird ginger cookies you seem to like these days.
Tommy: No, that’s OK, you don’t have to. I’m sure Evan will bring some.
Lucy: What kind of work wife would I be if I didn’t come visit my work-husband in hospital?
Tommy: Don’t let Evan hear you say that, he’ll get jealous.
Lucy: Hey, I saw you first, he can deal. So what room are you in and I’ll be there in 30?
Tommy: Fine, second floor, room 203.
Lucy: Nice ward, my sister was there last month when she had her baby.
Lucy: Wait, why are you in an OB ward?
Tommy: Isn’t that where they put pregnant people?
Lucy: Oh. My. God. Why didn’t you tell me?!
Tommy: I’m telling you now! Don’t say anything to the rest of Harbor, I’ll tell them when I get back.
Lucy: My lips are sealed. 🤫
Lucy: But I’m so stealing him or her when they’re born. I have work-wife privileges after all. When are you due?
Tommy: Two days before Christmas.
Lucy: So that’s why the wedding is in September now?
Tommy: Yeah, walking down the aisle two days after a c-section is not an option.
Lucy: Yeah, I don’t think it’s recommended. Alright, I’ll be over soon, anything else you need from the store?
Tommy: More Gatorade? Evan said he’d get some but knowing him he’ll only bring about two. It’s about the only thing I can keep down.
Lucy: On it. Gatorade and cookies on the way. See you soon, love you babe xxx
Tommy: See you soon, love you too.
---
Buck didn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into Tommy’s hospital room at 7pm after frantically rushing around to get everything his fiancé would need for his overnight stay, but it certainly wasn’t the sight of two people sitting on the edge of the bed, laughing over something on a phone, their heads and shoulders touching. And he knew that the jealousy that was washing over him was stupid, but it didn’t stop it rising up in his gut.
Because Tommy was gay, and he’d never cheat on him. And if he did, it certainly wouldn’t be with Lucy, for God’s sake. But, as his therapist would say, his anxiety and abandonment issues were working their way to the surface, and stupid, nonsensical thoughts pushed to the front of his head.
He's been with a woman before, he could decide to do it again.
She’s so much better than I am.
No, Evan, stop being so fucking stupid. He’s marrying you, he’s having your baby. He loves you.
“Hey, Evan.” Tommy glanced up at him, not moving from his seemingly comfortable position as Buck placed the battered overnight bag on the floor, then the grocery store bag beside the identical one on top of the small bedside cabinet. “What took you so long?” He asked, and it took all Buck had not to glare at him as he answered.
“Had to go back to your mom’s for the car. Then drop Eddie off at home, he’s put your stuff in boxes, by the way, they’re all in the trunk for you to sort out. Then I had to get your stuff, find your damn charger, feed the cat, clean the litter tray, go to the grocery store, which, apparently, I didn’t have to do…” He nodded at the bag that he assumed Lucy had brought, which he knew would probably be filled with the exact same stuff that he’d bought.
“Sorry, that was my fault, Buck.” Lucy interrupted, clearly sensing the tension in the room between the two men. “I knew what he’d been living on at Harbor and figured he’d need some more.” She said, neglecting to tell him that Tommy had asked her to bring some of it because Buck wouldn’t have bought enough. “I'll go and let you two have some time together before visiting ends.” She offered.
“You can stay. You are my work-wife after all.” Tommy joked, “And chief babysitter.”
“I don’t think I said ‘chief’.” Lucy protested, at the exact same time as Buck exclaimed “work-wife?”
“Don’t make him jealous, now.” Tommy teased, winking at Lucy. “She’s just saying that so she can keep me in check at work. Oh God.” He groaned in realization. “I can’t get away with anything now, can I?”
“Nope.” Lucy replied, glancing up at Buck. “Don’t worry, I’ll look after him. And maybe this'll stop him being a nightmare, especially when he starts mopping the floors. Do you know he leaves the tiniest walkway for us, and yells at us if we dare to go anywhere else?”
“No, but with the way he acts with the dishwasher, it doesn’t surprise me.” The number of times that Tommy had complained because “that plate doesn’t go there, Evan!” was well into the double digits now. Maybe even treble.
“Hey, why are you ganging up on me? I’m the one that’s ill here!” Tommy pouted as Lucy stood up, offering Buck her place.
“Because you’re too easy.” Lucy replied. “Anyway, I’ll fill you in on the gossip tomorrow and let you know everyone’s theories on why you’re off sick. I plan on telling them it’s a sex-related injury.”
“Please do not.” Tommy pouted while his fiancé sat beside him and wrapped an arm around his back, pulling him in close.
“I know! You knocked yourself out on the headboard and ended up with seven stitches to the back of your head.”
“Oh God.” He was going to be the talk of the LAFD as soon as he got back to work, he knew it.
“Or…oh, I know! You went to grab the lube but picked up superglue instead! I saw that on Sex Sent Me to the ER !” She exclaimed as Tommy groaned and Buck laughed, mentally making a note to Google that show later, because that sounded hilarious. He might send it to Eddke too, because that was the sort of crap he’d watch and deny it later.
“Oh, you had an allergic reaction to the lube and your dick swelled up…” Buck grinned. “Not that it needs to get any bigger, of course.” He added.
“That’s my cue to leave, I don’t need to know everything.” Lucy shot back. “I love you, but for the love of God learn how to relax.
“I hate you both.” Tommy complained as Lucy laughed and took a step towards him, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of his head, then muttering something in his ear. “Yeah, OK, when you put it like that, I don’t.” He smiled, pulling her into an awkward hug. “Thanks for doing my shift tomorrow, stay safe. And no spreading rumors!”
“Fine,” Lucy sighed, pulling away. “But you need to rest, let Buck take care of you.” She ordered, then gave Buck a quick hug and left, leaving the two men alone in relative silence, the only sound being the TV, which had been turned down so low that Buck could barely hear it.
“You look better.” Buck was the first to speak. He did look better, not nearly as pale, and he was sitting up without feeling dizzy. It was a good start at least.
“Yeah, feel a bit better too. Hey, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked, sensing his fiancé was a little off, but Buck shook his head.
“Just tired, it’s been a long day.” He lied. No point in telling Tommy what he was really feeling. Stupid insecurities, stupid anxiety. Plus, he thought Eddie was hiding something from him. Before Tommy had fainted, it felt like he was going to tell him something big, but when Buck had asked about it in the car, Eddie had said it was “nothing that couldn’t wait” and “no big deal”, even though it seemed like a huge deal earlier.
“Yeah, it has.” Tommy agreed. “Lie with me?” He asked. Buck started to shake his head, but Tommy gave him the big puppy-dog eyes and any resolve he had was completely gone.
“We won’t fit, and I think we’ll be over the weight limit of the bed, but…” He trailed off, letting Tommy lay on the bed, then pulling the chair as close as he could, positioning it so he could comfortably lay his head on the pillow beside Tommy's, his hand snaking up Tommy’s t-shirt, which he’d insisted on wearing instead of the scratchy hospital gown as soon as he could. Resting his hand on Tommy’s stomach, the tiny bump that Tommy insisted was ‘just bloat’, he sighed contentedly. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “For being too much.”
Because that’s what he was. Too overbearing, too annoying, too needy, exhausting, way, way too much. That’s what he’d been told all through his life, his parents, his eyes, they all agreed on that. It had to be true. And he was trying to rein it in. He had to, otherwise Tommy would leave too, and with their baby as well, and he’d be left alone again. Although it’s probably what he deserved.
A single tear started to roll down his cheek, and it was at that moment Tommy chose to look over at him. Stroking Buck’s cheek softly with his finger, he leaned over and buried his nose into the soft curls.
“You’re never too much, Evan. Not for me. No one has ever fought for me as hard as you do, no-one has ever challenged me because it was for my own good. And yeah, it frustrates me sometimes, but I have to keep reminding myself that you’re doing it for me and our little one.” He soothed gently. “We’re both lucky to have you, and I cannot think of anyone else I’d rather spend my life with. Whatever is in your head right now, it’s lying to you, get rid of it, OK?”
“OK.” Buck yawned, his eyelids feeling heavy as Tommy carded his fingers through his hair.
“We’ve still got an hour, maybe more if they don’t realize you’re still here, sleep if you need to.” Tommy murmured. “I love you, Evan.”
“Love you too.” Buck managed to mumble sleepily as he felt himself drift off, a smile on his face. “Love you too, baby girl.”
“You think it’s a girl?” Tommy asked, trying to hide the surprise in his voice. They hadn’t even spoken about that, and it was way too early to tell, but Evan seemed so sure about it already.
“Yeah, she’s gonna be beautiful. My curls, your eyes and smile…” He said slowly, then yawned again. “Gonna break some hearts. Little Genevieve, Gen for short.” Wow, he’d really thought about this. Tommy opened his mouth to say something, ask why he thought he was so sure, but a light snore came from beside him, and he placed a soft kiss on Evan’s forehead before closing his own eyes.
“Sleep well, Evan, sleep well Genevieve, love you both.” He whispered into the silence, knowing that, although this pregnancy might actually break him, it would be totally worth it in the end.