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Darcy worked her way through her pre-bed routine as her boyfriend took a late shower. The Avengers had gotten back from their last mission an hour ago, and she had been perfectly clear with her demand that Bucky wash off whatever alien gunk he was wearing before he would be allowed in her bed or on her couch. He’d laughed at her shriek when he’d kissed her nose and tromped from there straight into the bathroom.
Face washed, hair pulled back and up, and teeth cleaned, Darcy made her way to Asset’s food and water bowls. She emptied, rinsed, and refilled his water dish before reaching for the bin where she kept his food. The second the lid was cracked open, Asset was winding between her legs and purring.
“Why, hello, my handsome boy,” Darcy cooed, scooping the cat up in her arms and burying her face in his fluffy gray tummy. Far from how he would have reacted when she first adopted him, his only change was to ramp up his purring. “Yes, you are my handsome boy! Are you ready for dinner?” Asset happily meowed his agreement as she set him down and carefully measured out his evening portion. “I’m sure you are! Here you go, buddy. Enjoy!” Cat fed and happy, Darcy headed into the bedroom to read while waiting for Bucky.
— — —
Bucky stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to wrap around his hair. It had taken far longer than he’d anticipated to get all of the alien slime out of it and, well, everywhere else. He towelled off as quickly as he could, eager to sleep in his own bed wrapped around his girlfriend. When he stepped out of the bathroom, sleep pants hanging low on his hips, he was immediately accosted by Asset winding between his legs with plaintive meows.
“Hey there,” he said, smiling down at the cat. “What’s up, buddy?” Bucky’s eyes followed Asset as he stalked over to his empty food dish and meowed demandingly. “Did Darcy not feed you yet? Hold on; I’ll let her know you’re hungry.”
Bucky dodged the demanding feline’s attempts at getting underfoot again and poked his head through the bedroom door. What he saw brought a soft smile to his face: Darcy was asleep, face planted firmly on her current book and bedside lamp still lit. Not willing to disturb her, he ducked back out and fed Asset himself. Once the cat was happily munching away, he slipped back into the bedroom and turned off the lights. Carefully, he slipped Darcy’s book from under her face; she murmured in her sleep and shifted to her side, but did not wake. When Bucky slipped under the covers he tucked himself up behind her, smiling again as she automatically snuggled back into his warmth. He drifted off with an echo of that smile still on his face.
— — —
Bucky woke with a sigh, rolling over and hitting his phone perhaps a bit harder than necessary to turn off his alarm. It was time to drag himself out of bed if he was going to meet Steve and Sam for their morning run. He was careful to keep as quiet as possible while getting ready so as not to wake Darcy. As soon as Bucky stepped out of the bedroom, however, Asset was there and screaming for breakfast.
“Shh, Asset. You’re gonna wake Darcy. And a sleepy Darcy is a grumpy Darcy, as we have both experienced. I’ll feed you without you needing to complain; I always do.” Bucky filled the dish as quickly as he could and jotted a quick note for Darcy telling her Asset had been fed, leaving it on the counter for her to find whenever she awoke. With a final pat to Asset and a quick moment taken to tie his running shoes, Bucky was out the door.
As he always did after finishing his breakfast, Asset hopped onto the counter and batted the paper left there into the trash. When Darcy dragged herself from her room an hour and a half later, he happily chowed down on the breakfast she fed him.
— — —
Darcy grunted as four paws landed in the middle of her stomach. Seated on the end of the couch at her feet, Bucky chuckled at her offended expression.
“Great Thor, Asset, you’ve gotten heavier,” she wheezed. “Maybe we need to put you on a diet.”
Bucky frowned. “I thought we were feeding him the recommended amount on the bag?”
“I have been! I checked with his vet to make sure it was right, even.” Darcy paused and frowned. “Wait, what do you mean we? I’m the one who feeds him.”
“In the evening, yeah.” Whatever expression she was making had Bucky looking confused. “I feed him breakfast since I wake up first, and feed him dinner when you’re out late or fall asleep early. I’ve always left a note when I feed him before you’re up or back. You should know this.”
“Bucky,” said Darcy slowly, “I haven’t missed feeding Asset a single meal since I adopted him. And I’ve never found any notes from you.”
The two of them turned their attention to Asset, who was purring away on Darcy’s stomach. There was a long moment of silence.
“How many double meals has he had lately?”
“More than half.” Bucky let his head thunk against the back of the couch. “I’m sorry! I swear I’ve been leaving notes on the counter.”
“I believe you.” Darcy hefted herself off the couch, wincing as Asset’s claws momentarily dug in before he gave up and jumped away. She made her way to the kitchen counter and peered into the bin below it. “Do you know why I keep this counter so clear, even though the rest of the apartment is kind of a disaster?”
“You like to bake. I assumed you wanted space to work.”
“Nope!” she brightly replied. Reaching down, she stood back up with that morning’s note in her hand. “It’s because Asset shoves anything I put on this counter straight into the trash.”
Bucky stared at the note in her hand for a long moment before he broke into laughter. Darcy joined him, the two of them in hysterics for long enough that Asset left the room in a huff because of the noise. Several times they began to calm down before looking at each other and breaking down again. Eventually they wiped their eyes and sat next to each other on the couch, calm but grinning.
“So,” Bucky said, glancing at Darcy from the corner of his eye. “A diet for Asset?”
Darcy nodded. “Cutting out his extra meals is a good start. Any suggestions for the rest?”
The two spent the next half hour brainstorming. By the end, they had a solid plan of action and were ready to go.
— — —
Asset glared up at the white rectangle on the fridge door. He wasn’t sure what it was for, but it had shown up the day after his last time conning his humans into a double meal. That fact alone made it suspicious.
Worse still, it was out of his reach. He had tried for two hours, yet could not reach the rectangle to knock it down. His tail twitched in irritation. He needed a new plan of attack…
