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"Huh?! Let you live with me?! You know I can't let you do that out of the blue, idjit!"
'I can't let you do that.'
For Karamatsu, those words stung.
It stung even more when he had realised that such words had been applied to his thoughts and his actions – at the time, seeing Jyushimatsu laying there on the floor helplessly, letting out shaky, meek apologies whilst Osomatsu was grabbing him by the collar with clenched teeth, caused Karamatsu to think himself 'I can't let you do that to our younger brother, Osomatsu - you're being unreasonable.'
"Stop it." He said firmly, placing his hand on his older brother’s shoulder.
"Hah?!"
And then the punch was thrown -Osomatsu wasn't in a stable frame of mind ever since he had heard about Choromatsu's new job, Karamatsu knew that - the way it seemed as though the life from his older brother's eyes had vanished, the blank look on his face, the way he made Choromatsu worried and reach out to him, and the way he turned his back on his younger brother, walking off, hands in pockets, with a mere, bitter-sounding 'I have things to sort out - I'll be back in a bit'.
Karamatsu knew Osomatsu was going to fight, irregardless of who started it - he had picked Jyushimatsu, and Karamatsu proceeded to give his older brother a warning through 'stop it'. He just couldn't stand by and watch whilst Jyushimatsu was serving as Osomatsu's punching bag. So he decided he'd be the one to start it.
The memory had reached for the 100th time, like an obnoxious, constant reminder of why he was in this situation in the first place.
It was always there ever since it had begun.
As he was on his hands and knees at the entrance of the apartment, Hawaiian flowers hung up on the walls, his bag was resting by his side whilst he was begging through clenched teeth.
And that wasn't even the worst part.
For Karamatsu, the worst part in regards to this entire ordeal was having to witness Chibita's troubled facial expression as he sat there cross-legged before him - not to mention in his own apartment, where it was meant to be his safe zone from people, and the outside world in general. Everyone needed a space like that at least once in their lives.
Karamatsu knew that, and yet, he was compelled to come here, not having a clue what to do with himself. That was another aspect of the worst part - the uncertainty, and the fact that he was troubling Chibita. The oden chef's face and posture said it all - with a cocked eyebrow, his mouth line's pout-like structure being put on full display, and folded arms, Karamatsu couldn't take it any other way than negatively.
He knew that - he knew that, and yet, he persisted, bowing his head down even lower until it hit the stone-cold floor of the apartment entrance.
"P-please, Chibita!" He called out, "At this rate, we sextuplets..." He cut himself off abruptly, not knowing full what he wanted to say - damn, he truly was at a loss without them, "No, I'll be ruined!" He concluded.
With a tense silence following after a few seconds, Karamatsu couldn't help but frown as his head remained bowed down on the floor.
"I want to change!" He rambled on, his pleading tone being a mystery to both himself and Chibita, "I want to get out of this!" He added on - after a few seconds, he clenched his fists tightly, unable to look Chibita in the eyes as he squeezed his shut, his nails digging deep into his palms, "So please..."
Chibita stared at Karamatsu for a few seconds, somewhat unconvinced - he then sighed out, scratching the back of his head.
And yet, he nodded.
"Just until you can find a job and support yourself somewhere, idjit..." Chibita muttered, feeling his soft spot for the guy kick in - he could admit without flaw that Karamatsu was the most decent out of the bunch of idjits.
Karamatsu raised his head steadily, now looking the oden cart owner in the eyes, pure disbelief written all over his facial expression.
"R-really?" The 2nd eldest Matsuno asked, feeling as though he was choking up - however, no tears came.
"...Yeah."
"The trash is usually taken out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - well, not that I spent a lot of time here in the first place, what with having my oden cart and all," Chibita explained, "Today’s my rare day off – but anyway, given that, you'll have to be in charge of cleaning up after yourself."
"Of course! I won't let you down!" Karamatsu beamed, eyes sparkling, "And while I'm at it, I'll clean up after you during your absence as well!" He added on.
"…There's no need for that, idjit." Chibita replied, eyes squinted.
“Whatever you say!”
As the two stood in Chibita’s rather small bathroom, Karamatsu looked to his side and into the mirror located above the wash basin, taking his features in - of course, there were slight bags under his eyes, and his hair was somewhat ruffled up from pressing it against the stone floor just moments before.
Geez, he was a mess. He had to change. For his own sake.
"--matsu? Hey, Karamatsu!”
After being snapped out of his thoughts, Karamatsu jumped at the sudden address, instantly whipping his head around to look back at Chibita.
“Y-Yeah, what is it, Chibita?!” He asked frantically, letting a few nervous laughs escape from his mouth. Chibita merely cocked an eyebrow at him and tilted his head, arms folded.
“The hell, damn it? Are you sure you’re okay?”
“O-Of course, of course!” Karamatsu assured with a thumbs up, smirking – he then blinked in realisation, coughing and placing his hand by his side. If he wanted to change, first, he had to start by getting rid of his gestures and Karamatsu-like habits.
“Well, that’s fine, then…” Chibita muttered, clearly unconvinced as he had begun scratching the back of his head, “So?” The oden chef inquired, gesturing over to the cup which held his toothbrush, “You going to put yours there, or what?”
Karamatsu was taken aback at the question, but quickly nodded, turning his body halfway to open his bag, shuffling his hand around inside it before pulling out a blue toothbrush – after pausing, Karamatsu sighed out, putting his toothbrush by Chibita’s and in the holder.
“Sorry, Chibita…” Karamatsu muttered, “My toothbrush might hit against yours, so, uh….” He trailed off, feeling himself redden in the face through sheer embarrassment - this entire situation was ridiculous, like he was a freeloader or something.
“…It’s fine, idjit.” Chibita replied with squinted eyes, before sighing out heavily, “Now then, what should we do about our sleeping arrangements?” He asked, walking out of the bathroom, Karamatsu following suite, “I don’t have another futon, and all the department stores closed for the day about an hour ago...” He muttered to himself, counting on his fingers as he looked up at the ceiling, “It’ll be….another ten hours until we can get our hands on one.”
“Eh, really?” Karamatsu asked, blinking in disbelief – after looking down at Chibita’s digital clock in the living room, the time read 9:40pm, “T-Then, a neighbour…?” He suggested meekly, his hands held out for emphasis whilst he stared down at Chibita’s back facing him.
“I’ve only just recently moved into this place - all of that saving up finally paid off…” Chibita replied, “Couldn’t you tell by the boxes at the entrance?” He asked with a cocked eyebrow, his head turned to look behind him and at Karamatsu – the 2nd eldest Matsuno simply shook his head, causing the oden cart owner to sigh out, “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know anyone around these parts, and they don’t know me - so they obviously wouldn’t trust me if I asked them to lend me a futon out of the blue.”
“…I see.” Karamatsu replied, “Then, I’ll be fine with taking the floor tonight.” He concluded bluntly, “But I might stay up a bit longer after you fall asleep - I need to start preparing my resume for the job centre I’m heading out to visit tomorrow morning, considering the fact that I need to get out of your hair as soon as possible, and start to support myself.” He added on, running a hand through his hair, “And while I’m at it, I’ll go and buy a futon for myself.”
“Oh…” Chibita said in surprise, nodding his head cautiously, “Then, that’s…fine, I guess…but don’t overwork yourself over it, idjit...”
Karamatsu simply nodded, placing his bag on the floor as he took a seat at the brown table located in the center of the living room.
“But I’ll need a temporary place for my clothes, so they don’t get creased up. If I manage to get a job tomorrow, it’ll be a while until I can rent out an apartment or something…” Karamatsu continued on, resulting in Chibita nodding.
“Give your bag to me. I’ll put ‘em all in this wardrobe,” Chibita instructed, Karamatsu obliging as he held his bag out for him to take – the wardrobe was located on the left side of the living room, and Karamatsu knew it was for storing things like futons and clothing – he knew given Chibita’s loneliness, there would only be one futon, and the oden chef’s clothes, “Feel free to turn the TV on or whatever.” Chibita added on casually, causing Karamatsu to jump slightly as the oden chef walked over and kneeled down by the wardrobe, proceeding to open it.
“Yup, thanks, Chibita,” Karamatsu said with a nod, taking the remote - as he turned the television on, a hand resting on his cheek (his elbow on the table), the news channel had showed up, speaking of current important construction work going on, and how they were finishing off hiring the new men.
“I’m ordering Chinese tonight, if that’s alright with you, idjit,” Chibita began, snapping Karamatsu out of his blank daze whilst staring at the TV – as he was taking the 2nd eldest's clothes out of his bag and hanging them up, he continued on, “And of course, you need to pay me back when you get the money, along with your damn tab!”
“Yeah, of course!” Karamatsu replied with a grin, nodding his head.
The world was still, and silence had enveloped the neighbourhood during the dark hours in which they all slept - with the exception of the distant crickets and owls being heard, the stars were dimly lit in the night sky, as though they were fading, and dying silently. Above all of this, the moon shone brightly, making up for all of it. It truly felt like summer to Karamatsu, but it was chilly; well, it was probably the tank top and shorts he was wearing, but he begged to differ.
As he sat at the desk in front of the closed window, a gentle breeze being slightly audible from behind it, the blue curtains lay still - Karamatsu stared down at the paper resting on the desk, before kissing his teeth, scrunching it up, and chucking it behind his back, praying it wouldn’t hit Chibita, but being too irritable to even care. Luckily, it hadn’t done so, as Chibita’s snoring hadn’t died down one bit – it must have gone further.
Karamatsu shifted his sitting position, as his hunched back was beginning to ache – after rubbing his eye lazily, letting a silent yawn pass from his lips, he proceeded to turn his head around halfway to look at Chibita, who seemed in undoubted comfort under his oden-designed futon covers, located in the center of the living room (the table being stored in the wardrobe for the night). As he looked at the digital clock by the futon, the time read 1:00am.
The thought of himself sneaking an hour or two of sleep under the futon with Chibita made the 2nd eldest Matsuno’s face flush – if Chibita caught Karamatsu trying to get under the futon with him, or woke up to find him sleeping next to him, he’d definitely get the wrong idea and make a fuss over it. Karamatsu did say he would be awake a bit longer than the oden chef, and take the floor if he wanted to sleep, after all. He couldn’t go back on his word, or wake Chibita up to tell him he had changed his mind, and ask if they could share the futon.
The 2nd eldest Matsuno proceeded to shake his head and mentally scold himself, turning back around, pen gripped in his hand whilst he focused on his resume with a determined frown – he had to get out of this.
He had to change.
Staring up at the moon, Karamatsu blinked, his expression softening – he wondered how his brothers were doing; was Totty okay going to the bathroom at this time? He knew his youngest brother had a fear of the dark. And what about Choromatsu? Was he getting enough sleep after completing his job for the day? He knew how much of a workaholic he was. And Ichimatsu? Was he still living at home, or had he left? Jyushimatsu? How was he doing? More importantly, what about Osomatsu?
“..Mm? Karamatsu…?”
At the sudden, almost silent address through a mere groan, Karamatsu felt shivers go down his spine, thinking it was a spirit or something – after shaking such a ridiculous thought off, Karamatsu turned himself around – with the moonlight slipping through the window, the 2nd eldest Matsuno could see Chibita sat up, rubbing his half-lidded eyes hazily as he stared down at the covers – such an action and posture made Karamatsu remember Ichimatsu, and the melancholy that followed along with the thought was a pitiful one.
“Y-yeah, Chibita? What’s wrong? Couldn’t sleep?” He finally whispered in question with a forced smile, “Was I making too much noise? Sorry…” He added on, nervously bowing his head to get his apology across, now fully turned around to face the oden chef.
“Well, y’know what they say, idjit…you wake up when someone is staring at you...” Chibita muttered with slow blinks - as he brought his hand up to cover his mouth, he let out a silent yawn, and Karamatsu stared at him in disbelief, “I’m awake now, anyway…” He added on, “So what’s up with you, idjit? You can’t sleep or somethin’? What you doin’?”
“Oh, no, it’s not that,” Karamatsu replied, gesturing to the desk behind him, “I’m trying to complete my resume, but every single one I’ve made so far is terrible, and---“
“The hell, damn it!?” Chibita snapped in interruption, now fully wide awake, causing Karamatsu to jump, “I thought you had finished that ages ago! And you haven’t?!” He asked in pure irritation, “Didn’t I say for you not to overwork yourself!? ‘I’ll stay up a bit longer after you fall asleep’, my ass! D’you have any clue what time it is?!”
“No, that is, like I said---“ Karamatsu replied weakly, letting out a nervous laugh at Chibita’s lame impression of him.
“Shut up! You’re sleepin’ right now, idjit!” Chibita snapped in interruption yet again.
“O-Oh…uh, okay…” Karamatsu said in uncertainty, nodding a few times.
After a few minutes of shuffling around, Chibita cocking an eyebrow at his mannerisms, Karamatsu proceeded to lay on the floor right where he was sat – Chibita merely stared at him with squinted eyes, hands resting on the futon covers whilst his lips were parted slightly in disbelief.
“Hey, let me just ask this…are you an actual idjit, Karamatsu?” the oden chef inquired after a few seconds, a tone of pity in his voice. Karamatsu instantly sat up after being asked such a thing.
“Wh-What? Why? I told you I’d sleep on the floor, didn’t I?!” He replied with a cocked eyebrow.
“When someone says that you’re sleepin’ right now, they usually mean with them, idjit!”
“….Oh...” Karamatsu gasped out, wide eyed as he stared at Chibita, his lips parted.
A few seconds of confusion had passed for Chibita, as the oden chef merely cocked an eyebrow at Karamatsu, arms folded, until he reddened in the face, his eyes also widening in shock at the realisation of how the sentence sounded.
“Ah….no, wait---“ Chibita began in mere stutters, his words overlapping with one another, “I meant to say….uh, that is---…”
“I-I know, I know what you meant, Chibita!” Karamatsu reassured in interruption, waving his hands all over the place in a panic, “So please, don’t say anymore!” He added on, face flushing significantly.
“I-I mean, I don’t feel right with you sleeping on the floor, so--!” Chibita winced and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh, “You get what I mean, right?” He inquired, causing Karamatsu to nod intently.
“T-Then, sorry for the intrusion…”
“It’s a bit late for that, idjit..”
“You’re right, sorry…”
After hearing nothing but the sound of Chibita grunting, Karamatsu put the pen down on the newest sheet of paper, standing up, the sensation of his numb legs coursing throughout his entire body in the most surreal of ways.
As Karamatsu walked over towards the oden chef silently, Chibita shuffled over to the side of his futon, looking up at the Matsuno curiously.
Karamatsu lifted the covers up ever so slightly as he crouched down and slipped under the futon, his feet brushing against Chibita’s momentarily, causing them both to jump and stare at each other in shock, sat up side by side.
A few seconds of silence had passed until Karamatsu let out a low, silent chuckle, proceeding to look away with a smile, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. Chibita simply bit down on his lip with a cocked eyebrow, staring down at the covers.
“Well then…” The oden chef began, “Let’s sleep.” He concluded simply.
“Yup. Let’s.” Karamatsu replied, a smile tugging at his lips.
The two then leaned back in unison, landing on the pillow, their bodies being pressed against the soft, thick futon. Karamatsu couldn’t help but think of it and the silence that followed as pure bliss, given the past few stressful days he had experienced.
“I’ve never really slept in other people’s futons.” The 2nd eldest Matsuno informed, staring up at the ceiling.
“Karamatsu, now is really not the time to be saying these kind of things…” Chibita informed in a mutter, his body tensed up, hands placed by his sides.
“No, no, no!” Karamatsu began in shock, feeling his face heat up yet again, not daring to turn his head to look at Chibita’s facial expression, “I mean---I’ve never experienced sleeping in another home – like sleepovers, and stuff!” He justified, “Like…I’ve never slept in a guest futon, either…it’s always just been me and my brothers.” He added on in a silent mutter.
A few seconds of silence had passed, and Karamatsu thought Chibita had dozed off – he had begun to focus on the center point of the ceiling silently, the moonlight still slipping through the window.
“Huh, must be nice…” Chibita said casually, taking Karamatsu by surprise – he turned his head to his left to see Chibita staring up at the ceiling, eyes half lidded in what seemed like melancholy, rather than fatigue, “I’ve never had that kind of experience. You’re one lucky idjit, Karamatsu.”
“…What do you mean you’ve never had that kind of experience?” Karamatsu inquired, not taking his eyes off of the oden chef, “You’re experiencing it with me right now, aren’t you?” He asked.
At the abrupt question, Chibita’s eyes widened in shock, resulting in him to slowly turn his head to look to his right side, his eyes locking with Karamatsu’s – the two simply lay there in silence, staring at one another, until Chibita burst out into silent laughter, Karamatsu staring in shock.
“Karamatsu, you shouldn’t change…” Chibita said gently, proceeding to look back up at the ceiling with a smile, “You’re a decent idjit.” He added on, “And because of that, I’ll let you in on a secret.”
Karamatsu blinked curiously at the mention, turning his head back around to look up at the ceiling too. After a while of silence, Chibita took that as a sign to say what he wanted.
“It’s okay to be unsure of who you are and what you want to do right now…” The oden chef began, “But over time, without even realising it, you’ll change – that’s what growing up is, after all…so you shouldn’t break out of what makes you yourself through sheer force…” Chibita added on, “Since you and your brothers were NEETs, you’re only just discovering all of these job-related things, and socially acceptable behaviours, whereas I had to from a young age, without siblings, so I probably have no clue what you’re going through with them separation-wise…especially Osomatsu...” He trailed off, “But don’t stop being who you are, is what I’m trying to say, idjit! Otherwise you’ll end up being miserable your whole life!”
A minute passed – two minutes, three minutes, and Chibita frowned, thinking the Matsuno had fallen asleep.
“…Chibita…” Karamatsu said in awe, his eyes gleaming in surprise, turning his head back to stare at the oden chef – as Chibita stared back at Karamatsu in shock, after a few seconds, Karamatsu had the sudden urge to say his new roommate’s name again, softer, and sweeter, “Chibita…”
“W-What, idjit?”
“Can I hold your hand?”
“HAH?! The hell, damn it!? Of course not!” Chibita snapped, reddening in the face.
“…Chibita…Can I hold your hand?” Karamatsu asked yet again, his tone getting the point across to Chibita that he wasn’t joking.
After a few seconds of nothing but the sounds of the crickets and owls outside, being taken aback that Karamatsu would ask such a thing, given the circumstances, Chibita pouted slightly.
“…Just for tonight, idjit.” He muttered in reply.
“Okay…I got it.”
“Do you really?!”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not sure you do, idjit! You’re half-asleep right now, askin’ me such a thing, aren’t you?!”
“I said I got it, didn’t I?”
“…The hell, damn it…then…I-I’ll take your word for it!”
Silence ensued afterwards – the two lay there, wide awake as they stared up at the ceiling, not having anything in particular to say. Karamatsu entwined his left hand’s fingers with Chibita’s right hand’s after a few seconds, and he was surprised to see the oden chef hadn’t resisted at all – Chibita simply allowed it, and as Karamatsu squeezed his hand, there was reassuring warmth - the emptiness and choked up emotions Karamatsu had been feeling disappeared entirely, and suddenly, became something much more.
“Chibita….” Karamatsu began in a slight whisper, “I think I’m going to cry…”
“….Let it out then, idjit…It’s all about having the guts to do so…”
Having Chibita say something like that, Karamatsu couldn’t help but instantly tear up, his vision becoming blurry as he bit down on his quivering lip.
And so, the crystal-like tears fell, the moonlight being reflected through them – Karamatsu couldn’t help but silently sniff to himself, letting out a few cries, as though all of his bottled up emotions were merely expelling themselves. Chibita simply sat there, still staring up at the ceiling, squeezing Karamatsu’s left hand in silent assurance. Karamatsu simply brought his right arm up, pressing his wrist up to his nose, sniffing profusely, before moving it to rest his forearm on his eyes, the cries still going on.
“I don’t want to change! I don’t want to stop being a NEET! But I miss my brothers! I’ll do anything, I want to see them altogether and happy! I want things to go back!”