Chapter Text
April 6, 2005
Hey Arnold,
Surprise! I, Helga G. Pataki, have taken time out of my precious day to write to you, football head! But don’t let your head get any bigger than it already is - this is a sympathy letter.
You see, I saw Gerald out with Phoebe yesterday, and he mentioned how lonely you are down in San Lorenzo. He said it would lift your dorky spirits to hear from some people back in civilization. So here I am. You’re welcome.
How’s the jungle? Is it hot and insect-governed? Man, I do not envy you right now.
Up here in Hillwood, it’s been really rainy-we had another flood. Nothing like the one we had when we were kids, but I did see your Grandma sailing down the street with Abner, singing sea shanties.
Anyway, I guess I’ll give you the rundown of things around here:
- Phoebe and Gerald are getting close. Yesterday, Gerald asked Phoebe to prom. I suspect something is happening between them.
- Rhonda is driving everyone mad with prom plans. She wants everyone to come to her house afterward for a big bash in our ‘finest.’ I have my doubts that our class will even be sober enough by the end of the night to make it out of the gym, let alone make it all the way to Rhonda’s.
- Harold, Sid, and Stinky are planning to spike the punch, and Curly said something about bringing some stripes. Hopefully, he doesn’t mean another zoo liberation, but it’s Curly, so you never know.
- Brainy won’t stop appearing and popping up all over the place to annoy me, so nothing has changed there.
- Lila is trying to decide which of the five prom invites she’ll accept. My money is on Stinky or Lorenzo. (If it’s Lorenzo, Rhonda will flip. That should be fun to watch.)
Everyone else is the same. You’ve only been gone a year, football head. Things don’t change that quickly. Let’s see…
I also saw your Grandpa the other day at Mr. Greene’s. He and half the neighborhood were in there arguing about the increase in potholes down Vine Street. He said, “The rats at town hall are at it again!” I always get a kick out of your grandparents. They’re so interesting and feisty for their age.
Anyway, you don’t have to write back if you don’t want to. I won’t be upset. Like I said, this was a sympathy letter to let you know people still ask about you and talk about you.
Hope everything is great in San Lorenzo and that you’re getting along well.
From, Helga
P.S. You’re still a geek.