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Casey gets up from her bed and her first thought is about what happened the day before. She wishes she could forget it all, so she wouldn't have to deal with the pain. How could Tina be so mean to her? After everything… Maybe Casey was too naive. Maybe that really wasn't for people like her, but for people like Gen.
Gen…
Casey would rather not think about Gen. She finishes getting ready and rushes off to class. The day goes by slowly. Classes are boring, she tries to pay attention but her mind is somewhere else.
Classes end and the anxiety of bumping into Gen in the hallway takes over her, the last thing she wants is to have to deal with the antsy feeling in her heart that she pretends not to know what it's about. Casey wishes she could grab Ann and run to the bus stop and disappear as quickly as possible, but her friend is staying at school to teach math to other students. She finally got up from her chair and waved goodbye to Ann.
The hall was a little empty, most of the students had already left and were outside. Casey walked to her locker and picked up some physics books that she had left there a few weeks ago. She was so busy with the competition and they were just weighing down her bag. How silly. Her mother was right. All of that had been in vain, now she would need to study for everything she had missed in the last few weeks. But it’s okay, everything is fucking great. High school was almost over. Soon she wouldn't have to worry about that anymore, she just needed to keep her grades good like she always did and forget about that damn sport. Even though it had been the only moment in her life that she had felt like she belonged somewhere. She shakes her thoughts, closes the locker and turns to leave, but hears Gen and Tina's voices echo through the place.
“I like school. You know, it's stupid and the band will probably be horrible, but I wanna go to the homecoming dance. I want to stop feeling an idiot for flunking math because I don't have time to learn it. And I want...”
“All right. All right. I can see maybe we've overdone it.”
“Overdone it?”
“Just a little.”
“Casey's skates, Mom.” Casey can hear the disappointment in her voice.
“We'll continue this discussion at home.” Tina responds and leaves.
Casey did hear Gen complain about not having a life before, but she never thought it was so serious. She turned the hall to see Gen sitting on the floor crying. Casey walked over to her and held out her hand. Gen's face was now red from crying and Casey caught herself indignant at seeing such a beautiful face with such a sad expression. Gen looked at her in the eyes and Casey could feel her gaze heavy with guilt.
“You heard the whole thing?” Gen asks.
“Yeah... Are you okay?” Casey answers. She can't help feeling worried. She was angry before but felt so bad now, she didn't want to hurt Gen.
“It's your slot, Casey. If I drop out, you're next. You'll go to sectionals.”
“No. Thanks. Tomorrow's my Harvard interview. That's my slot. That's what I should be doing.”
“You sure about that?”
An awkward silence filled the room.
“Wanna grab to some food?” Casey asks.
❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
They bought ice cream and sat down at the park. Gen couldn't remember the last time she had ice cream. She was a little apprehensive, afraid that Casey wouldn't want her around anymore. Casey was amazing. She understands why she treated her that way on the day of the competition and knows that Casey would never be mean to her on purpose. Simply because she's not like that, she's a good person who sees good in other people. But that didn't mean she wanted Gen as a friend or that she trusted her. Besides, Gen was feeling sad about what happened at school. She hated fighting.
“Casey, I’m sorry about what happened. I swear I didn’t know.” Gen started saying.
“Gen, it’s okay. I know.” Casey cut her off. “I was upset and couldn’t see that you obviously had nothing to do with what happened. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“It’s okay.”
“Are you really going to give up? You’re so good, Gen.” Casey asks. “You shouldn’t give up on your dreams because of that.”
Gen looks at Casey with a blank expression, she opens and closes her mouth a few times. “It’s just… I don’t think it’s my dream… You know?” Casey looks at her a little confused, Gen practices so much, it was almost impossible to imagine her without an ice rink and skates. “Don’t get me wrong, I loved skating.. It’s just that I don’t know if I still do… It’s horrible to say, but the part I look forward to most in every practice is when it’s done. I do everything just hoping to get it over with, even when I get something done right, it feels more like a relief than an achievement. Skating used to be my favorite thing when I was a kid, it was fun and it made my mom happy too. But I think I only kept going because of her. I think I wanted so much to make her proud of me and I was so afraid of disappointing her that I got stuck with something that I have no passion for. I don’t even know what I like besides skating. I’ve never tried to do anything else. I didn’t even have time… I realized that day that I wasn’t doing it for myself, and I couldn’t live my whole life pretending. It’s not like I’m going to get far in skating anyway… I’m not good. I don’t want to be part of my mother’s dirty game. I want to be able to decide my own life too.”
“Wow…” Casey looks at her stunned. “Let me correct you on one thing though, you are amazing Gen, and you’re capable of doing anything you want.” Casey says looking into Gen's eyes, who feels her face heating up and looks away. “But..” Casey continues. “I get you. Physics is all I know... knew. Getting into that rink changed my life. My mother will go crazy if she sees me going back there.”
“You should try Casey, you’re talented. Your mom will understand when she watches you. She will be mesmerized by the way you shine when you skate.”
Casey looks away, bashful. “Thank you.” She says sincerely. Their legs touch, causing Casey to slightly shiver. “Is it true you want to go to prom?” She asks suddenly.
Gen gets shy and gives an awkward laugh. “I know it’s silly, but I think it’s cool. I’ve always wanted to go to that kind of stuff.”
“It’s not silly,” Casey replies. “I think you’d look even prettier in a prom dress. And.. You’ll finally have a good time with your boyfriend.”
Gen's eyes widen. "What- no, you mean Aaron? We’re not dating." Also.. Did Casey just call her pretty?
"Oh, really? I'm sorry, I just saw you two together at the party. I thought..."
"No, no. We only go out sometimes. I use him as an excuse to get away from my mom sometimes and he doesn't mind. But I don't like him like that and he doesn't like me either..."
“Got it..” Casey sounds relived. No. Gen’s probably imagining things. “He’s stupid if he doesn’t like you.”
Gen’s definitely imagining things. “What…?”
"You're beautiful... And talented, funny.. Everything" Casey looks away. "Sorry... I-I like you, Gen.. in that way. I know you don't see me that way, I just don't know if I can hide it anymore."
"You're so silly." Gen says with a cheerful smile.
"What?" That’s not what Casey expect to hear.
"I like you too” Gen says with a pause. “In that way.”
"What?! You do? Since when?"
“Actually, I just thought you were cute before, but then I saw you skating… I think something sparked in my chest.” Gen looks at Casey. “It didn't help when you started hanging out with us and you were also kinda adorable.”
Casey gives a bubbly smile and feels her skin blushing strong red. “That's very good, can I hold your hand?”
“Of course, silly” Gen answers with a laugh. She holds Casey's hand and feels goosebumps all over her body. “This is kind of new to me but, I want to try it with you.”
"Me too Gen, I want to try it with you."
“You can kiss me.” Gen says, and Casey doesn’t need to be told twice.