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Do you ever hear a song and it immediately takes you back to a very particular moment? All the emotion of it comes sweeping back in, rushing through your body. I chose this song for Charlie’s playlist because it reminds me of his birthday last year.
It wasn’t like it was the first time it had happened with us. It’s just, that moment sits with me in particular when I listen to this song.
The song - supernatural by Ariana Grande. Her lyrics about not wanting to fight the fall feel like they were made for me when it comes to Charlie and I’m not ashamed to say it.
Did we get a little carried away that day? Yes. Did I love every second of it? Also, yes.
—
I look into the door of the music room to find one of my favourite sights. There in his black Converse, wearing his school uniform, and banging away on the drum set is my boyfriend, Charlie Spring.
It still brings me an outsized feeling of joy to see him here, in Truham, after having him away at the clinic for so long last year. It also sends a rush of desire through me, seeing him playing the drums. He is so fucking hot.
I can’t help the smile that spreads over my face. When I turn the handle and open the door, he hears me and turns to look, his eyes scanning me briefly and a smile breaking out on his lips.
“Happy birthday,” I say in a singsong voice as I approach him. I drop my bag and lean down, reaching out to hug him, to feel him against me again. Charlie starts to rise from the drum stool when I get my arms around him and start to swing him around.
“Happy birthday!” I sing out again, unable to stop myself.
“Oh! Nick!” Charlie shouts in my ear, the laughter in his tone making the exclamation sound bright and happy. I swing us around twice, enjoying the feel of him in my arms, the scent of him in my nose.
He’s perfect.
Very carefully, I come to a stop and slide him down my front until he reaches the floor, enjoying just how close we are.
“Are you ever gonna get tired of doing that?” Charlie asks, his hands resting just at the top of my biceps. I may flex them just a bit, hoping he’ll feel it through my school shirt. I know how much he likes my arms.
“Absolutely not, no.” I shake my head as I speak. But I have another surprise for him and I know he’s going to love it. I begin to reach back toward my pocket, my eyes flicking down to his lips and back up to capture his gaze again, as I continue speaking.
“But I did get you a present.” I can feel my teeth sink into my bottom lip when I say this, pulling the beautiful envelope from my pocket and tapping it lightly against his chest.
Honestly, I’m a bit nervous about this present, but not because I don’t think he’ll like it. More so that maybe he’ll like it too much. Charlie might like my arms but he deserves someone who can keep up with his wit, too. I’m not sure I meet his level of intelligence but I shove that thought aside to focus on him.
“Okay,” Charlie answers, his smile growing and making him glow. God, I love him.
He reaches for the envelope and takes it, gaze leaping back up to my face again before he looks back at the gift. I tuck my hands into my pockets, feeling the nerves cascade through me as he flips open the envelope and pulls out the tickets. I jump to explain.
“It's that Instagram-famous historian you like, Jack Maddox.” Charlie looks up at me, his eyes shining and I want to kiss him but my mouth keeps explaining. “He's doing a book signing on Sunday. Maybe we could go after the sleepover?”
I feign nonchalance by shrugging one shoulder. I can handle my boyfriend mooning over a super hot, intelligent historian… probably. He looks down again and then back up with surprise as my words register.
“Wait. We get to meet him?” Charlie asks, the excitement in his voice sends pride beaming through me, overwhelming my worry momentarily. I did that .
“Yeah.” I nod. He launches himself at me. I move to quickly get my hands out of my pockets so I can hug him again, enjoying the feeling of his arms around my neck.
“I love you so much!” he shouts, almost directly into my ear and I chuckle as I lift him from the ground and squeeze him to my chest before setting him down again. I’m pretty sure I could pick up Charlie Spring every day, many times per day, and never get tired of it. Hugging him is one of my favourite activities. Yes, I do recognize that makes me an absolute sap.
“Well, clearly not as much as Jack Maddox,” I reply, a bit of sass in my tone. My gaze darts away from him, just for a moment, hoping he doesn’t see how worried I actually am about that. My mind helpfully reminds me of my GCSE results and just how average they were. I push those thoughts aside, again.
“But I'll take it.” My eyes drop to his mouth again just as he drops his to my chest before they dart back up to meet mine. I can’t stop thinking about kissing him. I want to, pretty much all of the time. I wonder, briefly, if he does too.
“Do I also get a birthday kiss?” Charlie asks, his tone shy and a bit hesitant as he watches me. My heart leaps in my chest when he asks and I can’t stop my eyes from flicking between his eyes and lips over and over, feeling how much my body wants that. I am so gone for him.
This love's possessing me, but I don't mind at all
“Yeah,” I say with a soft chuckle. I reach forward with my right hand and wrap it around his hip as I lean forward. I am flushed, excitement coursing through me as I get close to him again. When our lips touch, my eyes close and I feel fireworks cascading through my veins. He tastes so good.
One step at a time, I move him backwards towards the wall, my other hand coming up to cage his other hip and grip tighter. Fuck , he is everything I want. I can feel the electricity spread as his hands come up to grip my biceps, our bodies colliding and, even through my clothes, sending sparks skittering across my skin.
It's taking over me, don't wanna fight the fall
Slowly, our kissing grows more frantic, the pulse of it is echoing through me and I press him into the wall, feeling every inch of him against me and needing more. As though we have the same thought, Charlie pushes as I pull and we turn so that he now has me pinned up against the board.
His hand presses my shoulder back, just barely holding me in place but I let him. It sends a thrill through me and I hear the gasp that escapes me at the feeling, desperate and yet giddy. I should feel embarrassed but all I want is more of his lips on mine.
It's like supernatural
He slides his hand up onto my neck, a trail of heat and sparks following and it’s only a second before his lips are hot on mine again as his fingers grip up into my hair.
I am starting to pant with the fire raging through me. Charlie’s hand sinks back down, seizing my bicep again, and I lean forward to wrap my arms around his torso slowly. I pull him closer, my body responding to his proximity and needing him closer. I need to feel him, everywhere.
I want you to come claim it, I do
I want to lose myself here.
Suddenly, Charlie pulls back and cool air hits my lips for the first time since we started kissing.
“We should... we should probably…” Charlie stutters and my eyes finally fly open as I realize we’ve gotten carried away. Again. My heart hammers in my chest as I nod, love drunk. My brain doesn’t want to catch up but I try.
I want nothing more than what was happening to continue but school isn’t the place for it. Lately, though, we haven’t been able to help ourselves. I finally speak, my brain catching up to the fact that I am just standing there, short-circuiting. I let out a heavy breath, trying to dispel the energy that is thrumming through my veins.
“Uh, yeah, yeah. Not at school,” I agree as I adjust the waistline of my slacks and then cross my arms, a charged energy permeating the room. The flush in my cheeks suddenly feels like embarrassment rather than arousal.
I stand, self-consciously, there against the wall as Charlie walks away from me and back towards his bag.
“It's almost form time anyway, so…” he trails off as he leans down to pick up his rucksack and put it over his shoulder. I nod, finally pushing myself away from the wall just a bit.
“Sleepover on Saturday though,” he continues, tone coy as he raises his eyebrows at that. I take another step away from the wall.
“Yeah,” I manage to say in response as I drop my arms and tuck my hands into my pocket. I watch, swivelling to follow his movement, sucking in a breath and holding it as he makes his way out of the room.
He is perfect , gorgeous , amazing and he’s mine. I could shout for how much I love him.
The door opens and then closes behind him and I can’t help the smile that overtakes my face as I watch him leave. This sleepover can’t come soon enough.
—--
Seeing his face light up when he realised that we were going to see Jack Maddox was a dream come true. I love making Charlie happy, as often as I possibly can.
If I’m being honest though, I especially loved the moments that followed that gift. The fireworks that had coursed through my body, that still course through me every time we kiss, are overwhelming in the best way.
It had been such an intense shift after he got back from the clinic, and we were physically close to each other again. Our touch became something new, something passionate. After all the struggle, heartache, and pain, suddenly we were on the other side and his healing sparked a new energy for us that we couldn’t ignore anymore.
His birthday, and the kiss in the music room threw another match onto the fire between us and I remember how clearly I wanted all of him as we pressed each other against the wall of that room. It had taken over me, just like in the song.